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ok /out/ im sick of this shit
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You are currently reading a thread in /out/ - Outdoors

Thread replies: 25
Thread images: 8
ok /out/ im sick of this shit
i'm getting bullied alot by bears everytime i go innawoods
one of them just groped me and laughed at me and called me a lardass last time. everyone laughed at me even squirrels.

how do i stop bears from bullying me?
>>
>>663080
Lose some weight fatty
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>>663080
You are just gonna have to let the forest animals have their ways with you. Bring plenty of lube.
>>
It sounds like your problem is furries, not bears.

Lucky, the cure for both is gunfire.
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>>663080
Fuck that shit anon, women today are not worth the effort.
Your best bet is to go full MGTOW and never look back.
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>>663080
W-wanna go Enoing with me?
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>>663098
WAT
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>>663080

Learn it. Love it.
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>>663080
Write about it on tumblr.
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>>663080
They're just flirting with you, if you don't want the attention don't dress so provocatively.
>>
>>663080
That depends. What kind of bears are bullying you?
Black Bears: Just stand up for yourself. They may look tough but they're all pussies who back down if they encounter the merest resistance. Even your scrawny current self can stand up to a black bear. Yelling is usually sufficient, occasionally a punch or kick may be needed.
Brown Bear: You're going to need to start working out. Once you're strong you need to establish dominance over the bears. The fight will be long and bloody but with hard work and guts you can prevail to establish your self as Lord of the Grizzly Bears.
Polar Bear: You're pretty much fucked. Give up your dreams of being /out/ and go back into the city to cry because you do not fuck with polar bears.
>>
>>663080
>how do i stop bears from bullying me?
Stay out of Provincetown and San Francisco
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>>663080
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>>663639
5.56 for a bear...? I don't think so Tim
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>>663654
That's nice. It's 7.62 genius
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You need to show your dominance, Anon, otherwise the Bears will never leave you be. Here's what to do

>Go to the local bear bar, easily spotted by the amount of foxes hanging around out front
>grab two of said foxes and gently insert your arms inside them from the back, how you do it is up to you
>you how have fury fox fists
>maul the bouncer with your FFFs and wear his body like a furry exoskeleton
>Beararmourreceived
>discard the FFFs, they have served their purpose
>walk into the bear club and tell every bear to fuck off
>seeing as you are wearing the bouncer, they'll all obey and leave
>you now have control of the bear club
>exit the bouncer and proceed to shit on every surface you can find
>when the Bears return the bed night, your scent will be all over their prized club, they have no choice but to submit and crown you as their King
>you are now King of the Bears. No bear will dare laugh at you in the woods again
>you can also use you bear legions to wage war on the squirrels
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>>663683

Ya blew it.
>>
"Lips" BanĂ¡ne
>>
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>>663080
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>>663080
Carry a rifle
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>>663080
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You know what you must do OP
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>>663080
Bring a kayak. The bear will bully the kayak instead of you, but only if you shout NO BEAR PLEASE STOP
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You dun goofed Op.
>>
TheYankeeMarshal has a few videos on this subject exactly.
Thread replies: 25
Thread images: 8
Thread DB ID: 437783



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