Power-ball lottery

Big lottery but was this really /news/ worthy?!

>>16905
are you fucking shitting me

>>16905
Alright then do something worthy with it, Sam

>>16908
its the biggest in history

>>16905
>Local racists Sam Hyde and Ben Garrison spend powerball winnings creating a new nationwide militia.
>"This time the Jews don't have anywhere left to run.", a spokesman for the group stated

>whats up now you slut

Fucking keked, use it good Sam

Also, taxes HALVE the amount so assuming he accepts the main amount of a billion dollars he will only get 500 million, and that's the way the cookie crumbles.

>>16964

> Only get 500 million

You'd probably suck a dick for 5k

>>17004
Maybe if it was female...

the should have been me

he deserves it
hopefully he can finish and publish his TV show

>>17058
With 500 million dollars he has no other choice than to do that.

>>16905
>inb4 he falsificated it

>>16937

>Not using your newly acquired wealth to rename everything in this girl's life 'slut' something
>working on your diploma? It's gonna be for slut university
>got a job in the city? Yeah it's slut & slut law firm in the slut building
>tired of being called a slut all day, head home to your house on slut street where there's a barbershop quartet paid to stand and sing songs about what a slut you are outside your home from 5pm to 12am every week day.

The possibilities are literally endless

So, the same /pol/ comedian that trolled a TED conference won the lottery. Yeah. And 4chan isnt just a site for traps

>>16927
yeah but it was split by 3 or 4 winners so who cares

>>17322
Still a sizeable chunk of dough

>>17330
sure but not newsworthy to me and not likely to ever be. If it was just one winner then there's a good chance the person would eventually do something really crazy.

>win the lottery
>post about it on social media

>>16905
Isn't that the fucking faggot with the Matrix quotes video?

>>16905
What the fuck, is this a joke? Sam fucking Hyde? My favorite edgelord?

I don't fucking believe it.

christ be with us

Oh no. Of all people, it had to be him. I weep for the future he will bring upon the world

Sam Hyde actually fucking won? Holy shit
This is too goos to be true

this... this can't be true

i-i'm going to go pray

I fucking LOLed in my flat

>>17019
Females dont have dicks, faggot.

>>17336
does it really matter? /news/ have less than 20k posts and if it isn't interesting the thread will just die. on the other hand if it doesn't it means it was worth posting. and on the third hand you can complain about it not being newsworthy and have the thread bumped several times because of posts like mine and >>17336 >>17322 >>16927 >>16908

on a side note (not really), i like the newsstory. that image takes the cake. i wonder if he will actually do anything with the money except live a comfortable life...

>>17416
>This is too goos to be true
exactly

>>17107
>everyone is familiar with the e-celebs I know
cut them some slack, and learn wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind