I am a piece of shit. I am fucking worthless, and useless. I haven't done a damn good thing in my life. The one girl I love more than anything now fucking hates me. I am going through clinical depression so I haven't been able to do anything else right, either. I hate myself. I hate my life. I am a drunk depressive piece of trash. Talk shit about how pathetic I am or post albums and feels about it I guess.
At a big university, starting to develop social anxiety. Really strange because I'm a fairly outgoing person I would think. Just so many people who don't act me or think like me, whether they're superior or i'm superior, who's to say? Just feel excluded.
There are many who are in worse position than you, at least you were in love with a girl (I assume)
But to be honest no one gives a shit so don't spout shit out like this is fucking tumblr or something.
ive had the same problem at boston university, barely made any friends here. The sheer amount of people is overwhelming and the few ive met just bore me or arent my type. Shit sucks, but hey at least i have a vibrant social life back home, where we all went to small private schools lol
Started out like that in my case as well. Didn't end well because it just got worse and spread so hard that I dropped out after first semester.
Care to tell us what happened, it will make it easier for the rest of us to shittalk you.
>tfw I'm still hoping she loves me back.
If she out of the blue favorites the first tweet you ever posted is that a sign?
Also I've been listening to this album a lot more. I think it might be better then Deathcon.
>depression is a serious condition guys!
sounds lame but I know what you're going though buddy. i also hate myself and realize i am a worthless piece of trash. guess all i can do is say cheer up though i know thats a worthless sentiment. if you havent done anything with your life than do something, anything that makes you happy or helps your life in some way! move forward, set some goals and work to accomplish them. only way to know you're improving your situation.
I have friends at BU! The irony I suppose.
I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope all ended well from there or is going better now.
Well, yeah. If any of you go to Syracuse University...
Damn you guys suck at shit talking me. Should've gone to /b/ for this shit. Oh well cutting myself works well. Shitty file but yeah.
it gets better OP. I'm sure you're going to read this and think yeah fucking right but whatever. I was very recently in a similar mindset as you and the only thing that helped me get out of it was time. I didn't make any life changes or anything but slowly I found myself feeling less bad. good luck anon. anyway if you're looking for drunk sad self loathing nothing tops pic related
Sure. Been going through clinical depression since September. Shit's gone downhill. Deactivated my facebook, cut all contact with friends, etc. Things got worse. I had straight As in college. Turned into 3 Cs 2 Fs. I started talking to friends again cuz my psychiatrist said so. One of my friends, she understands me better than anyone. I start to fall in love with her. Only her. I have been going to parties with other friends. Girls start flirting with me. I don't want them. I want her. But she doesn't romantically love me. In the last two days she stopped replying to my texts. Making me wonder if she hates me. I am going crazy and drunk right now about it as she's the only one who gets what I am going through. It's all going down the drain. Last weekend I was in NY celebrating my bday which is after vday on the 15th. My cousins don't know about my condition. I fake happiness while feeling utterly miserable in NY. I missed my friend who I love, too. Well fuck my life, please talk shit.
>I'm going to go prove what a worthless piece of shit I am by shitting up a board that's known for its low quality threads BUT I WILL BE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT EVEN AMONGST THE SEAS OF SHIT I WILL STAND OUT!
I want to masturbate, but my cat is sleeping between my legs and Fuck all I can't even work him into the mix the way he's positioned.
Stop posting on a website where people spew aggressive hate speech.
Start working out or something.
As cliche as it sounds it does get better, youre at a low now but this will only make the highs better and then you'll look back on it, acknowledge it but not feel as bad. It feels good afterwards OP.
Btw you're drunk and emotional as shit, chill and go to bed (drink lots of water)
Yup that's me! With these four albums on repeat in particular.
Been lifting three times a week. Unlike most people with normal sadness, that doesn't make me feel better. I should go to bed though.
Nope. But I told myself. Because that's what I deserve. To be complete shit. and be told that.
he wants other people to tell him the things he feels about himself so he can feel validated in his self loathing. not a particularly good idea but clearly it worked based off most of the replies itt
You realize you could just jump in front of a truck like a normal human being? Fucking Christ, enough with the sob story.
If you want attention, just realize how much more attention you would get if you killed yourself publicly?
quit chasing personal validation in a realtionship
be secure in your self and do the things you want instead of the opposite
AND DRINKING WILL NOT MAKE IT BETTER
everytime i drink it always makes it worse
Exactly! You know how I am thinking. The best place to validate my own self-loathing is 4chan itself! It's quite beautiful how people's attempt at "trolling" is exactly what I want, isn't it?
Been tryna do that, too. Drivers in the city are really good though. Idk if you from some small town or w/e, but here they stop for me every time I try to do that.
Idk what I want to do though. I am completely numb to positive things. It ain't that easy.
>decide I wanna start applications for transferring to Uni next fall
>start thinking of who I can get to write letters of rec.
>absolutely no one comes to mind
>realize that after two years I'm more lonely than I ever was in HS and I might not even get accepted
why is it so hard to get a friend
Too much noise involved which would cause my roommate who I don't trust to know I have depression. May try at a friend's place later on when then won't be able to stop me, but they are actively trying to stop me after the last ER/ICU visit.
a start in that direction would be stop letting those things that you worry about, control you.
honestly like idk man thats how I've been living my life I've had so much fucked up shit happen to me i just stopped worrying, like it'll all just work itself out and if it doesn't i don't really care. like at least i tried.
It's called a freeway, or just jump off a fucking bridge. Surely, you at least have a car? Drive to an overpass and jump off into traffic. Holy shit, you're not even trying. If you're going to troll, at least admit you have no intention of killing yourself, you're not fooling anyone. Nobody cares about you.
You know what's honestly the hard part? That there are people caring about me right now. That there are people who would be willing to die for my worthless ass. I have no idea why they love me so much, but they do. It's the one thing that's keeping me alive right now. That there are people who honestly and legitimately care and love me.
Read >>53687367 there are people who have attached to me so emotionally that I can't kill myself in fear of hurting them. As much as I wanna kill myself, I think about these people before I think about myself, and if it would truly hurt them that much, I can't do it yet.
Nope. Especially one of them won't. Maybe she hasn't replied to my texts in two days. Maybe I do have romantic feelings for her if she doesn't for me. But I'll make sure she's okay first before I kill myself. Once she is, then I'll do it. I love her too much to just leave her like this.
I'm just curious, did your parents try to do anything about you trying to kill yourself three times or they're just like 'let's go with the flow' and he might actually pull it off.
You're naive, and clearly underage. We all think people care about us at that stage. If you don't make the right decision, you will grow up and learn the error of your ways. She doesn't care about you. She really doesn't. Nobody does except for you. The only reason you haven't killed yourself is because you're a self-centred cunt who thinks you matter.
you're feeling sorry for yourself, being blunt this is my last post because you keep repeating yourself.
you're reaching out for help on the internet instead of actually attempting because you want people to understand and I'm not diminishing your pain because it is real and people are egging you and they're assholes. but to prove them wrong and become a stronger person you have to prove them wrong. like that drake song, do it for yourself, you're worth it
Nah she isn't. She's going through stuff herself, and we help each other out. You gotta read our texts, it's pretty cute. I would say I am shit, she'll tell how awesome I am. She'll say she's shit, I would tell her how awesome she is. Like we get each other more than anyone else. Like she's the Yoko Ono/Courtney Love to my John Lenon/Kurt Cobain.
Nah, they don't even know. Cuz they don't get it. Only psychiatrist and my female friend I have a crush on get it.
You never had people drag your dead body to the ER because they apparently love, have you?
Sorry for myself? FUCK I JUST WANT THIS LIFE TO END WITH ALL THE PPL I LOVE TO BE HAPPY! I don't care for this site's "help". 4chan has never helped anyone. Do I need to prove them wrong when I am that pathetic and I hate myself that much?
I almost hope you live long enough to remember what a stupid twat you were when she moves on. You're not special, all these people who are alone now had someone like that too at one point. They know how this is going to end. Only you are too delusional to see it (as they were).
You can't judge someone's opinion of you off of a traumatic circumstance. Their feelings aren't genuine. It's all about what they do when things are normal. Nobody is themselves in a crisis. Now fuck off, your bait is getting old.
what went wrong?
letting society condition you about meeting a certain standard huh? that's the problem with you depressed faggots, get over yourself, start looking at the bigger picture and think for yourself for a change
Damn all I have are problems in my life. Anyway I gotta go. Need to take care of stuff. Thanks for all the shit talk/pep talk. I appreciate it all. One day Imma make an album about this and maybe post it here. As shitty as I may, I love all of you.
my favorite band just put out the worst record of 2015 all my hopes are destroyed like everything else i hope for