1. Fed a guy a double dose of laxatives simply because he kept drunkenly talking shit and he was annoying me. Sadly he didn't want to leave the party while I tried to get him out of my house so he rushed down to my toilet when the party had already died down. I could hear him pass out, wake up again, take very painful shits and then pass out again for 6 hours. I lied to everyone that he spoke badly about my best friend and now he also lost a lot of friends.
I was very close to this girl where I shared pretty much the same music and movie taste with and we got along very well, sadly she was pretty ugly so I didn't want to start anything with her. Eventually I needed sex so badly to forget my ex girlfriend which I was still clinging on a year later that I accepted her invitation to go to her place. We ended up fucking when I was too drunk to even walk, tried to force my dick into her without a condom and when she told me to stop I told her to suck me off. Her body and just her in general really weren't doing it for me so my dick went numb and we had to stop. Fell asleep to her hugging me in her sleep but I moved her off me and went downstairs, we spend the rest of the day together which was kinda nice but then she made me go to a party where I met another girl who was on a shitty date. I ended up spending all my time with her instead and even used the other girl's house to fuck her in the bathroom with the door open, best sex I ever had. Next day both chicks were a angry at me after finding out what I had done and tagging together, just said nothing and walked out. The ugly chick still talks to me and she's quite lovely really but I just could never end up dating her, the other one invites me over every now and then but after this I never had a one-night-stand ever again.
I refused tons of girls because of my waifu and when I flirt with anyone I feel like I really am cheating.
I called my black best friend a nigger in middle school. I stole $20 from my parents to buy weed in high school. I started dating a girl who was infatuated with me the day after someone broke up with me just to get back at them. I made fun of an effeminate gay kid behind his back and he caught me. I hit my dad during an argument (this is the worst one by far, and I hope to make it up to him some day)
>>53563417 Too scared of women, I can't do it and I'm not looking for short flings anymore. It's not worth it to me anymore and leaves me empty and sad, I have attachment issues so I always need tons of cocaine to even come as far as kiss a girl. I ended up in bed with a girl like a month ago on copious amounts of speed because she was jealous some other girl was having me and she needed to validate herself.
I regret any girl I ever slept with and I wish I never did, it just leaves me with feels and sadness. I wish I could stay alone forever but my dick and my head never listen and then I end up getting hurt again by people like my ex girlfriend. How do I turn this desire off forever, how did philosophers do it.
>>53563563 i was in the water and my mask kept filling up with sea water and then the snorkel and i had to keep resurfacing to empty them and they'd immediately refill upon submerging again - then i went under water again and i was surrounded by hundreds of little jellyfish so i just doggy paddled away and sat on the beach
>Astral Weeks I was a pussy and didn't ask a girl out. A girl almost everyone I knew told me she liked me. Now she's a mess and flirts with and teases all the dumb "alphas" from work and fucks random guys and talks about it on twitter. It's kind of hilarious actually
>>53563245 Shouted at a kid with a breathing problem in hospital when I was 14. His breathing apparatus kept me up at night (I was in the same room). Made him cry. I didn't apologise and he died 2 days later.
Bullied a lot of people in school for being weaker and more effeminate than me. Was a real piece of shit towards them even though they tried to be my friends. They had a shit time for their rest of school lives until college where they got over my bullshit. I only ever did it because I was jealous of them for looking more like I wanted to and because I couldn't come terms with being ostensibly faggier than them. Tranny now. Reunions should be worth a laugh.
My gf tried to cheat on me, I left her, she hooked up with the same guy she was gonna cheat with (my cousin), he insulted her, she came back crying and saying she had done wrong. I used her whenever I wanted and psychologically mistreated her for a whole year, giving her hopes every now and then and crushing them later just to do it again. That lasted for a year until I got tired and fucked a friend of hers.
>Art Blakey - Caravan stole the girl of a friend. we were happy, but not really for 9 months then I broke up with her. tried helping an ex of mine that was in a psychiatric clinic. believing I could help I only fucked up her relationship with her parents. I tried to fuck her, not really wanting to do so, and after her disorders took the best of me I threw her out in the middle of the night, in a rain, with almost no transport.
I try not to regret anything, but it's hard to know that I was such an asshole to people I really liked and loved. I hope and try to make myself a better man.
>>53564390 It wasn't her that I raped, I'm not planning on telling her about that portion of my life. I just want to be what she needs me to be.
>>53564373 >>53564357 I don't know which part I'm supposed to elaborate on but I don't know much about what happened with my girlfriend yet, she's hauled up with her mum right now so I'm just letting her gain a bit of peace tonight.
As for when I was 16, I was at a party, someone slipped a girl something and I joined in with two other guys. It's not a great story.
>>53564377 it isn't illegal, I just toyed with her a lot, her father had abandoned her so she was super clingy and I could get her to do whatever I wanted, and I knew it. I used to laugh at her, bully her, I made her feel bad on purpose exclusively because I had the power to, it felt really good, I kept telling her she was ugly and worthless, I liked making her cry and knowing she would still came back. She became isolated, most people started ignoring her and that gave me even more power over her. I convinced to do whatever I wanted, we were pretty young, she was a virgin...
>tl dr it's not about sex, it's about treating her like shit for a whole year
>>53564407 >when they were a dumbs kid I've done some really fucked up, disgusting shit and keep justifying myself by saying that I was only a child. Weird how we think of children as especially good or pure
>>53564714 yeah I was sure that was going to be you're reply but no, a blowjob is more exciting for the person doing it than the one receiving it. I get more aroused from doing cunnilingus than from getting a blowjob. My gf came when she blew me, but it didn't do much for me
>>53564752 when it comes to oral sex sure. otherwise it still is a great factor to feel you're giving her the fucking of a lifetime, when she claws your back or squeezes your thighs. am I the only one?
>>53564772 What do you mean? a girl cuming from blowing you? She's not christian but she wasn't no slut either so I guess if you're fucking club slags who get dick everyday it isn't going to happen.
>>53564781 are you seriously going to say my gf sucks based on me not taking pleasure from bjs? I've been blown by other bitches too you know?
>>53564824 >Casual sex is for animals, you fucking chill until you find someone that sets your world on fire anon, well worth it. pretty much. Nothing beats having sex with someone you have a genuine connection with
>>53564891 >I didn't go to my distant uncle's funeral because I barely knew him and I wanted to stay home and play video games. Happy? This is far worse. Still not that bad though, because your original reply was pathetic.
>>53564891 >I didn't go to my distant uncle's funeral because I barely knew him and I wanted to stay home and play video games. Happy? That's not too bad. I was on a funeral last week, my great grandfather who I've never even met died. It fucking sucked, I barely knew anyone, and watching people cry makes me feel like shit. Funerals suck, period. The only ones you should attend are those of the people you cared about the most.
And even if it turns out they're not the right person, at least you got to know them and love them for a time, all this other bullshit is stupidity. Do drugs if you wanna be a bit reckless, or read two books at once.
>>53565025 i was sleeping at a friends house and we were completely black out drunk and i had to pee and i just stood up and did it to his face like the stupid drunk i am. it took a few minutes before he realized what i did and he kicked me out. i spent the whole night on the street until i was able to go back home since all the train stops were closed until next morning. >>53565076 we're fucked up
thankfully i never got hooked. it was a three/four month love affair with my ulterior motive to OD on it because i wanted my suicide to look like an accident & i wanted to go out on a high. never happened though. miss it a lot it's been a month now.
When I was around 9 years old my older cousin and I were playing with my uncles ducklings and my cousin starting using one of the baby ducks like a rubber ducky, dragging it through the water and stuff and it ended up drowning. I just watched. It was really sad
not difficult at all, very easy in fact. the thing is i would enjoy the high so much that i'd keep putting off a fatal amount. i was shooting with a friend who did all the shooting for me & i was at first doing it purely for recreation when the suicide idea started to develop. i had explicitly made sure in the recreation phase to not get any numbers & to not learn how to shoot up by myself. i was on the point of learning myself & asking for my friend's numbers when he managed to get off it which sort of snapped me out of the suicide thing. of course two months down the line he's asking if i want to buy some h with him & the ideas have come flooding back.
>>53565406 yeah i heard about that in an interview. i didnt fill a bathtub with vomit and liquor and piss though, but i wouldnt be surprised if i did. its kinda funny because i started listening to xiu around the time when i did that, but i only listened to a promise much later.
>>53565376 Yeah I don't know. My family already has some history of drug usage on my mothers side (not her), and I was always a "good kid" because even though I had conscience of all that from very early on I always condoned it. I don't know if my mom would believe it if she knew I died doing heroine. She'd probably see through it. She already broke into my room crying like 2 times because I was listening to music really loud and not responding to her knocks on the door, she probably was assuming I had done it. At this point there's no doubt she knows I have suicidal tendencies. Should just hang myself at least I wouldn't break her heart doing drugs.. She know I smoked weed we talked about it and I told her it was nothing much and that I'd never do anything else. And I didn't.
>>53565395 yup, and she probably is, she had never done them to anyone else, in fact I was the second person she had sex with at all (same goes for me) while the first one was doing bjs for a long time. It just never did it for me.
>>53565381 heroine as in a strong leading woman. heroin is the drug. i meant learn how to understand the importance and appreciate the true beauty of a good woman and you will understand why life is worth living
>>53565574 you're kidding right? I never even wanted to have a gf just for the sake of it. I had a few things, then when "heroine" came it was perfect for 9 months we did everything there was to do together, she was interested in what I was interested in, I was, and quote "the love of her life" then after some time when I was depressed with school she stopped loving me, tried to play it off by not wanting sex or anything anymore, running from kisses and shit, while I wondered what was wrong. then she went on a trip through europe for a month, left without saying goodbye, came back answered my call, saw me and said she didn't love me anymore. she really was why life was worth living you got that right. which is more of a reason why it isn't worth living now. If even someone like her can simply stop loving me after leading me on on a perfect life together.
>>53565642 yeah right, I would give her another chance if she wanted it for real, but I'm not giving myself away like I did to her to anyone else. I'm done
>>53565551 god it's HEROIN not heroine, the e is for a female hero.
anyways do some research in neurochemistry man, and you'll be addicted to opiates just like me. it's like you're a pill away from having the best day you've had in months, and that's all you need. food? family? friends? fuck it, man, i've got my heroin.
>>53565939 no man I just to end my life. I wanted to do it while I was depressed, but she kept me from it, I got through it then managed to keep really really amazed at how much I missed because I was like that so I made myself stop being like that to get her back. I did everything right for months. Then after we even had sex in that period, we were kissing like before, everthing was getting there, and she says she doesn't love me. So yeah, I wanted to do it before but I had a reason not to. Now I don't.
When I was in eighth grade I went to a very small Christian school and a friend/former classmate of mine came out to me as gay. I had no idea what to do and just cut all contact with him, he'd repeatedly message me on Facebook and I'd always ignore him. Thinking back I feel pretty bad about it, but I happened to run into him at uni about a year ago and he seemed happy and didn't bring it up.
Since too many people like my share/request threads, i'm going off trip for this one.
Back in college, i was desperately alone. My computer was broke so i was forced to view pornography at the college library. It was terrible & i was too cowardly to masturbate to it, but it helped me all the same. But one day i finally got the courage to start jerking it. It felt amazing & i came harder than i ever did before. Started masturbating there any chance i could. This went on for two weeks. But at the end of it, i was getting really into it. Two lesbians girls were grinding really hard & you could see the emotion in their eyes. God that turned me on way too much. I had to sit back so i could really rub it out. I was just about to cum when the librarian saw me. She pulled my chair back, yanking my headphones out of the computer. I was so shocked i couldn't even think, i just orgasmed. The cum was so much, it got all over her & me. I was arrested & forced to do community service. It was terrible. No one looked at me in school anymore. I want to kill myself.
I'm pretty over my ex but one night after drinking heavily I took the bus to her place and slashed her tires and threw a brick through her car window. I knew that she didn't have money to fix it and was working a job that required her to drive across the city to get to. No remorse really, she was a cheating and self-absorbed piece of shit.
>>53564690 I thought that, but then I got more comfortable getting off with someone else (and I was probably desensitised from fapping) and now I love a blowjob I'm jealous of those guys who were getting them in school tho, I got my first one age 17 Tfw
>>53567616 why not be a little vaguer everything you think you know every specifica blining eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world detail that is where you begin to lose the plot when you arin a foreign land in a foreign towne half-gone, drunk or pissed, vomiting on the side-walk, fucked up on narcotics, spaced out beyond comprehension, that is when you truly understand how little you understand howas by a shining brainless beacon insignificant your thoughts are in the greater scheme of things how ignorant and pointless each and every single idea yo./u have ever had truly is how rid//iculou s you r problems are, your flespecial planetin\g issues, slight anno88888yances in your brief and me,,aningless lifewhen you are calm and joyful
why not be a little vaguer everything you think you know every specifica blining eclipse of the manorthern borderny terrible shapes of this world detail that is where you begin to lose the shingles on my roof the plot when you arin a foreign land in a foreign towne half-gone, drunk or pissed, vomiting on the side-walk, fucked up on narcotics, spaced out beyond comprehension, that is when you truly understand how little you understand howas by a shining brainless beacon insignificant your thoughts are in the greater scheme of things how ignorant and pointless each and every single idea yo./u have ever had truly is how rid//iculou s you r problems are, your flespecial pegg shaped headlanetin\g issues, slight anno88888yan a cast of iron in sadnes a cacophony of clanging a dog's head on a stihidden between two buildingscksces in your brief and me,,aningless lifewhen you are calm and joyful
why not be a little vaguer everything you think you know every specifica blining///// eclipse of the manorthern borderny terrible shapes of this world detail that is where you begin to lose the shingles on my roof the plot do not forget the difference between the two when you arin a foreign land in a foreign towne half-gone, drunk or pissed, vomiting on the side-walk, fucked up on narcotics, s982714paced out beyond comprehension, that is when you truly understa8746nd how little you understand howas by a shining brainless beacon insignificant your thoughts are in the greater scheme of things moving as if aaginst a strong breeze how ignorant and pointless e a broken bottle cuffed with the blood of an unknown manach and every single idea yo./u have ever had truly is how rid//iculou s you r problems are, your flespecial pegg shaped headlanetin\g issues, slight anno88888yan a cast of iron in sadnes a cacophony of clanging a dog's head on a stihidden between two buildingscksces in your brief and me,,aningless lifewhen you are calm and joyful
why not be a little vaguer everyth98274ing you think you maldoror is deadknow every specifica blining///// eclipse of the manorthern borderny terrible shapes of this world detail that is where you begin to lose the shingles on my roof the plot do not forget the diff a cautious misunderstandingerence between the two when you arin a foreign land in a foreign towne half-gone, drunk or pissed, vomiting on the side-walk, fucked up on narcotics, s982714paced out beyond comprehension, that is when you truly understa8746nd(*^& how little you understand your festering consciousness howas by a shining br921847ainless beacon insignificant your thoughts are in the greater scheme o88884827f things moving as if aaginst a strong breeze, a hellish wind, the soft pressings of the padded breeze how ignorant and pointless e a broken bottle cuffed with the blood of an unknown manach and every single idea yo./u haand the faults of our eldersve ever had truly is how rid//iculou s you r problems are, your flespecial pegg shaped headlanetin\g issues, slight anno88888yan a cast of iron in sadnes a cacophony of clanging a dog's head on a stihidden between two buildingscksces in your brief and me,,aningless lifewhen you are calm and joyful
1. Put my mum through me attempting suicide, after taking around 30 ibuprofen, 10 aspirin and drinking a bottle of wine I started screaming for her rather than just going to sleep or "finishing the job", she came in on me on the floor crying with all the pills and everything, she called the ambulance, they came, went to hospital, my mum stayed with me the whole time and i know she loves me but i never should have put her through that.
2. drunk/high with a girl at a party, we're cuddling on the sofa, put my hand under her top on boobs (pretty consensual, but both very drunk) - attempted to finger her but she didn't want me to so i didn't - i felt guilty about this for ages (it was ages ago), but a friend of hers spoke to her for me and apparently it wasn't bad at all - but yeah the guilt ate me up for ages
this is my favourite album at the moment, to difficult to chose an all-time fave
>>53568194 I know. I feel like a shitty, shitty person. It's been on my mind more than usual recently. It was easy to ignore through my 20's but now, I really see how fucking terrible a thing I did. Denying him all the incredible experiences I've had over the last 15 years to avoid some slight awkwardness. I fucking hate myself. All I even do now if I'm not working is just sit around and drink because at least then it's easier to cope. I think I'm probably going to kill myself. I don't even deserve to live.
>>53568356 You could try and campaign for gay rights or something like that, if cos of you someone else didn't kill themselves because of homophobia then it could undo the wrong you did karmically and help others
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