Didn't see one in the catalog, let's do this.
>Candy Claws- White Seal (Shell and Spine)
>Pretty good, hung out with my best friend tonight and played poker with him, his gf and his mom while drinking wine and shooting the shit
How ya doing anon?
>tfw all the feelings you had for her are coming back stronger.
>tfw she will never be yours.
Listening to Human Sadness right now. I really started loving it recently.
Human Sadness? Never heard of it, what kind of music is it?
Nostalgia never got anyone anywhere. I'm sure you know this, and past loves will never go away without time. So give it time, anon. You'll find someone else, or they'll find you.
Human Sadness by Julian Casblancas & The Voids. It was hyped a bit when it came out. Some people saying its 4th wave postrock or something. I don't really know but its a unique and interesting single.
Ya its probably just nostalgia that I'm feeling. It'll probably get better soon. Thanks for caring :)
I've been spending my 21st birthday all week in Portland Oregon with my friends and it's going good, gonna leave back to LA in 2 days. Gonna miss it here. Bought The Body vinyl, used Bjork-Post cd and Aphex Twin- Selected ambient works 2.
I'm tired of always feeling sorry for myself and thinking I'm shitty in every way. In order to be as objective as possible and to try to get a clear perspective on what I'm really like I made a pros and cons list. Here it is:
Plays guitar/bass/harmonica (well?)
Very knowledgeable about film and pop and jazz music
Likes to read
Attractive facial features (except jaw and nose)
Made out with a girl once and she said I'm really good at it (lie?)
Dress well (sometimes)
5'4" (5'6" with shoes + lifts :)
Probably going to drop out of community college
Masturbates too much
Awful in every way fuck
Might be a narcissistic ass
Now that I look at it, there's nothing really that good about me which is what I suspected. The obvious solution is to improve myself, and to just work with what I've got because things aren't even really that bad. The thing is, I don't care to. I feel like shit about myself but I'm too apathetic to even do anything about it. It's a constant cycle of shit. I'm starting to accept the feeling of being lonely. I've got my weed, I've got my music, it's ok. Sometimes it really hits me and I think about suicide, but I've only really come close a couple of times. Oh well, who cares anyway. I really wish I could hold someone, though
I'll probably listen to Booker Little or something later
Listening to Tycho - Dive
Feeling like pic related
>Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - Sleeping At Last (it's a cover, its really pretty)
>tfw fallen for a girl youve known for years but never faced your feelings about her
>tfw not sure if you should pursue further or if you're better off as friends
>cant sleep at night
>cant focus at work
>cant stop thinking about her
>TFW IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER
at least im going to the gym and riding my bike all the time, right? maybe someday she'll feel the same way, even if i dont believe that myself sometimes
she's so nice, /mu/, fuck.
And who exactly is going to look at you and think "Wow, anon has definitely improved. Now he's worth my time, my attention."?
No one. It's all in your head man. If you're going to view yourself in such black and white terms you will always be disappointed. Instead of striving for something that you're not, try accepting what you are. Accept your surroundings, your life, and it will accept you. I know this sounds hippy as shit but I don't really know how to phrase it any differently.
This is really really good. Grabbing it from slsk, thanks.
With things like this, you just have to be patient.
>Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
Keep that in mind, it goes further than just happiness.
>there was a Taylor Swift concert in my town
>my girlfriend and me are huge Taylor Swift fans, well my girlfriend doesn't know that I'm a fan to be honest
>I used this opportunity and got us both tickets with backstage passes, making it seem like I'd just want to surprise my girlfriend
>so we went to the concert and it was pretty good
>after the show we headed to the backstage area
>there were people talking to each other or just waiting everywhere
>suddenly Taylor Swift herself comes walking out of a door and everyone is going apeshit
>she comes in our direction and in my head I'm like "OHSHIT" the whole time
>my girlfriend was just making weird noises
>and Taylor Swift really stops right in front of us
>"You too were pretty cute in the crowd. Do you wanna hang out a bit?"
>I nod my head violently and my girlfriend makes more weird noises
>everyone else in the room gives us the death stare as we follow Taylor to her room
>break up with girlfriend of two years
>she's in a foreign country looking great in every photo and having a great time
>i'm at home with everything that ever reminded me of her
>feeling close to over it and need to get out there
>after two years no idea how I stand in terms of attractiveness or anything else
>haven't talked to any girls yet
maybe one day anon
listening to The Myrrors - Burning Circles in the Sky
>Wingnut Dishwashers Union - My Idea of Fun (It's 2015 why am I listening to folk punk still???)
>Been texting cutie from tinder, conflicted
>did some investigating
>her FB says she's in a relationship
>still wanna go on this date with her
>we stop in front of the door and a big black securityguard appears from behind us
>Taylor puts handcuffs on me while talking something about security measures
>I'm on the edge of cumming in my pants because she touched me
>she takes us inside and tells me to sit down on the couch
>the security guard put his hands on my shoulders and I couldn't move
>meanwhile another guy drags my girlfriend to a bed that I could only see in a corner of my eye
>Taylor says something like "get her tiger" while getting something from behind the couch
>she turns on the TV in front of me and it's showing the titlescreen of Guitar Hero 3
>the guy pulls down his and my gf's pants
>Taylor starts playing "Schools out" by Alice Cooper
>I can barely see it but I'm pretty sure the guy was fucking my girlfriend on the bed
>I couldn't move because of the nigger holding me down
>Taylor finishes the song and her score is pretty mediocre
>She turns around to me and asks me which song she should play next
>the guy keeps fucking my girlfriend
>after 3 more songs the security guard grabs me and my gf and throws us out of the backdoor
>I can see Taylor through a window still jamming that plastic guitar
>the nigger says "nobody is gonna believe you" and closes the door
That's how I'm feeling
Delete her from Facebook. Burn that bridge. It will hurt like a bitch at first, but you have to force yourself to not be able to look at what she posts on there.
Don't forget, on Facebook, everyone's life is perfect.
It's a tie between Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - The Mercy Seat and Summoning - Land of the Dead.
This requires a story:
>Be 15 (2009)
>Be seriously interested in music
> a few of my favourite artists are Neutral Milk Hotel, Current 93, Drudkh, Gentle Giant, Coil, Boyd Rice/NON, and Summoning.
>Apart from an occasional meeting with my very few friends for D&D sessions, never really do much other than sit around listening to music.
>Constantly terrible at talking to people
>Never know what to say and always act like an idiot.
>One day this girl comes to the school.
>She's very attractive, has a similar interest in music to me, (Not similar tastes) similar weedy figure, and a similar contempt for all things outside.
>Over the next couple of years, as a part of my attempts to ease myself out of being a sperg, I begin to talk to her
>Never really become close friends, but talk enough that I can tel she is fucking amazing.
>Get to graduation from high school.
>We're both planning on going to the same university
>Fuck it, might as well try
>"Do you want to be my gf and room with me at uni?"
>"Sorry anon, I'm just not that into you."
Now I'm still going to university, still just as much of a sperg, and for some reason that whole saga has just been brought to the front of my mind. She will never be my gf, but that's not what matters. I would be content with platonically existing in the same space as her because she was just so fucking amazing.
>With things like this, you just have to be patient.
I know, i am, i know that...in my current state of being, i am neither impressive nor desirable enough to warrant her romantic interest, so im working on some things with self-improvement.
I think i critique myself too much though, im always nervous when i talk to her or text her or whatever because i dont want to say anything stupid
>her romantic interest
You don't have to try to change yourself for someone else. You're better than that.
Improve yourself for you and others (even she) will notice. And if she doesn't, she doesn't.
Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. There are plenty of baskets in the sea.
Thanks for trying to help but I don't think that's going to work. I do accept myself, but I'm not going to ignore all the shitty things about me. It's not that I want to improve myself for other people, I want to improve myself for me, and that would most likely result in less loneliness
Your advice is the equivalent of telling a clinically depressed person "Just try not being depressed! Chin up!"
Yeah, i know, its just worded strangely. I have a difficult time explaining how i feel a lot of the time. I know that the stuff im doing is good for myself, and of course thats first and foremost. But then it also has the significant side effect of making me more noticeable/sociable and stuff from other peoples point of view. Its weird, i dont know how or why i feel this way about this stuff. At least its pretty motivating..
You fell for her, she didn't fall for you, and that's ok.
Give it time, and you'll move on. It hurts right now, as it should, but soon, if you put yourself out there, you'll meet other people and meet their friends and develop your own social life.
You have to try, though. You have to do things that aren't necessarily comfortable, but just stick it out. Soon enough, it will become natural and you won't even have to try anymore.
No, I'm not telling you to "chin up". I hate that kind of thinking, and I'm not saying that what I tell you is going to solve all of your problems (if I knew what to say to you for that, I would say it).
I'm just saying that if you look at yourself in a way that enables you to reduce yourself to a list of pros and cons in text then maybe you're not looking at yourself in the best way.
Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. But reducing the way you view yourself to a list will get you nowhere.
Everyone does man. You're not alone.
The point of the list was just to see if my low self-esteem was at all justified, to try to see the positives in myself, and to try to see why anyone would want to spend time with me
Nothings getting me anywhere anyway, man, so I don't see the harm. I understand that I'm a real person and there must be more to me than that. Maybe I'll find that out later, or maybe I never will. I don't know
>What're you listening?
Panda Bear - Person Pitch
All my flatmates got themselves a gf in a 2 month span. When we joined together, we were all single lads and we used to have fun doing weird shit, doing LAN parties and stuff. Now I barely see two of them, and the only reason I see the third one is because his gf is not on the city (and even then he usually goes visit a few other friends so it's not like I see him all the time). Meanwhile I'm here all alone, sometimes spending hours at home alone because, well, they are nowhere to be found. Also one of the gfs happens to be one of my old crushes. I'm pretty much over her but it still feels weird. Meanwhile I'm crushing hard on a qt qho lives nearby, and we're friends, and we talk sometimes, but that's all. I want her, but I'm too scared to make a move because it's clear she has no interest in me.
Why dont you just talk to her about your situation, casually mention that you dont have a lot of people to hang out with or something anymore (since theyre all busy with gfs) and see if that leads into spending time with the qt?
Thanks man. I'm not noing to do a shooting or kill myself or anything anytime soon...
>You fell for her, she didn't fall for you, and that's ok.
>Give it time, and you'll move on. It hurts right now, as it should, but soon, if you put yourself out there, you'll meet other people and meet their friends and develop your own social life.
>You have to try, though. You have to do things that aren't necessarily comfortable, but just stick it out. Soon enough, it will become natural and you won't even have to try anymore.
Thanks based anon.
Jeez the people in these threads who offer counsel to others are great. I love you all /mu/...
>Belle & Sebastian - Nobody's Empire
>alright, I guess. Still trying to get over my ex who already moved the fuck on. Found a qt on tinder tho who just wants to fuck. Gonna meet her tonight. Should be good.
Why would you ever tell a girl that you don't have anyone to hang out with
Don't do this
I guess they're shit for getting offended when you're supposed to use offensive band names, but just saying "Nigger" is sort of easy and cheap and not very funny in the first place so why even say it. Honestly what do you expect
>have sex with a friend for the first time
>leave at 2am 'cause her roommate's come back
>walk down the high street at 2am eating fried chicken and whistling Fly Me To The Moon
I'm a classy fucking degenerate and I don't even care.
>I have a hard time relating to people and making friends. Went to a party where I knew only one friend the other night and I just stood still in a corner and listened to people/music. I didn't have issue talking to people when I'm in a small group, like 4-5 people, but when it's more it just shut up.
I thought moving to a city where I knew no one would help, but no.
I should try to make more friends in college. And probably talk to the qt who's always staring at me.
I just meant like.."hey all my friends are out tonight and im kind of stuck here, want to go out and do something/get together and watch a movie? i gotta get out of here" type of thing
The first time I get dumped I don't see how I won't kill myself
I'm already so fragile and I've already come so close. I'm not saying any gf would mean so tremendously much to me that I would just have to die, I just mean that at that point I'd probably say "Yeah this seems like a good time to go", especially since I wouldn't have to die without ever feeling love or sex
oh woops, forgot that he mentioned that they were already friends and whatnot, then yeah just asking her out is the next step. as easy as that is to say as opposed to actually doing
It's not that harsh anon, grills can be replaced.
Worse things could happen. Last month my best friend killed himself, if i can live through that, being dumped just seems like a really minor thing. Anyways, deathcounsciousness is great for me atm.
currently listening to Atlar by Sunn 0))) and Boris, first track "her lips were wet with venom"
feeling stoned and not wanting to get out of this chair but I will after I finish my tea. It is 11am herre
That's the thing. The only reason why awful things haven't happened to me is because I just stay in my house all the time. I have no relationships except with my dealer
I think I might be afraid of life
those feels sound rough man. i hope you're grieving properly and not holding it all in. that's the worst thing you can do for yourself
this is all i've got:
>girl leaves her ex to be with me
>we start dating
>fall in love
>happiest i've been in years
>she leaves me to go back to her ex
>he doesn't trust her after what she did to him
>she's bouncing in between me and him
>we start to get pretty close again
>she tells me she's falling in love with me again
>I say the same even though i'm having trouble trusting her
>Two nights ago she tells me she's going to try and work things out with him
i am really into duster right now
Should've cut ties with her as soon as she went back to her ex the first time
I mean, I wouldn't want to be with any girl who leaves someone to be with me, in a serious relationship at least. There's just no trust to be had
yeah i realized after it happened the first time that of course, if she's willing to do it for me, she's willing to do it to me. something about her drives me insane though. she's all these things i've been looking for for a long time, just without the trustworthiness
Flume - Stay Close https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyWR8jBtxUk
It's 3am, school is finally going well, wrote a good song today. Why do I feel like crap?
"I live this I breathe this I sweat this I bleed this I want this I need this like Kanye need jesus."
I could really use a friend right now.
>yeah listening to music may help
>tfw crushing on a TA in my biology class
Unfortunately she instructs the lab right after me and I've only seen her once. Shes a qt hipster looking girl and she had a Modern Baseball sweatshirt on.
>The Who - Baba O'Riley
I went to a club last night and a friend of a friend was making it quite clear that she wanted to fuck me, trading lip balm with me, prolonged eye-contact etc., but there's something about the environment of a club and being off my mash that turns me off completely so I didn't do anything which I have mixed feelings about. I don't know maybe I'm just a pussy. Also there's this really weird predatory atmosphere in these so-called "indie" clubs that just makes me feel really uncomfortable. Also I've had one of my worst depression funks for ages.
>tfw she loves my middle school best friend, who was a nice punky guy,
but turned out to be a degenerate drug dealer with edgy opinions who even quotes
Zizek, Mandela and Serj Tankian at the same time
>tfw she finds him chill and intelligent
>tfw she really used to like me
>tfw she is into punk and so does him, but they know shit about it
>tfw every single of her friends likes me
>tfw i'm so confused
Gil Scott-Heron - Me and the Devil
>have low self-esteem, so I'm always surprised if girls like me (apparently I'm quite good looking, even though I do not think so myself)
>start dating girl 1, simply because of the fact that she seems to like me, even though it's not mutual
>couple weeks later meet girl 2 whom I met on OkCupid
>didn't really expect much from it, because she's super chatty and interesting and popular, and i am not
>turns out she's into me tho and I spend the night on that first date
>now dating two different girls at the same time
>girl 1: decent girl who is into me, but a little bit boring and we do not have too much in common
>girl 2: seems into me for now, but im very afraid that's just temporary and if I get too attached Ill probably get my feelings hurt (again). trying to avoid falling for her, but it seems like its already happening
>have a cold and afraid i cant make it to date with girl 2 tomorrow
>she's been out partying all night yesterday while i had to stay in
>the fucking fomo is real
>have to write thesis this semester
>already one week in semester and have no idea what to write about
>rather than working on it i'm procrastinating by browsing /mu/ and downloading music i wont have time to listen to
currently listening to the new A Place to Bury Strangers. Digging it so far.
mick jenkins - the waters
I don't really know why I'm bothering to post here, when I read this thread it seems like everyone's got some totally legit reason to feel the way they do and I don't really, it's not like there's some girl I've broken up with recently or some qt that's rejected me or anything, the events in my life all seem pretty normal. that being said I'm too awkward and shy to even attempt to ask someone out anyway.
I just kind of have an underlying confidence issue I guess that it really hard for me to cope with most social interactions with people I don't know, especially girls. I end up spending about half my time wishing I was a really outgoing, extroverted kind of person who easily made friends and was confident enough to ask a girl out etc, and half the time trying desperately to tell myself that I'm ok just the way I am, and I should be happy with the person that I am, and to think about all the things I like about myself, and I haven't found the 'right person' yet. but I just can't quite fool myself into believing that and it's eating away at me. and in the very few instances where I do find myself talking to people I don't know I reflect back on the conversation and realize that I wasn't acting the way that I think best represents me as a person or represents how I want to be seen, and that makes me feel embarrassed about how I act, and the vicious cycle continues
>A Different City- Modest Mouse
>tfw was gonna ask her out this weekend
>tfw she just texted me talking about a new crush she has
>it's not me
Nothing, if asking for favorite maybe Smashing Pumpkins: Soma, or Snowing: It's Just A Party
Not good, still love her /mu/.
>She made the first move to be friends
>We were good friends for about a month
>I start to like her
>We kinda knew eachother for 3 years tho
>One day she asked me what would I do if she she did somethig horrible
>I said I'd kiss her back, why would that be horrible?
>She goes on about how she's been in a relationship for 2 years
>She says she doesn't care about him anymore and doesn't feel like he cares about her either
>She says she's waiting for him to break up with her because she feels obligated to stay with him
>But she reveals that she has feelings for me
>A few days pass and she came over on X-mas eve
>We swap presents and just hang out
>We're watching tv and I'm running my fingers thru her short black hair
>I made a joke before waring her that if she came over I'd probably just lock her in my room sniff and lick her
>She said she'd be okay with that
>I bring up the joke and as when she wants to get to the licking
>She starts making out with me
>We're at it for like a minute or 2 and than we stop
>We continue to watch tv some more
>I have no idea what to do
>So I just kind of pretend it didn't happen
>We move from my couch to my bed
>Again just hanging out
>We start to kiss again
>After a minute I pull away and ask her what does this mean
>She says she doesn't know
>I ask if she's still with her boyfriend
>She says yes
>She leaves a bit later
>A few days later after some flirty texts and what not she brings up sex
>At first I thought she was joking because she was bacially begging for it
>I thought maybe one of her friends had her phone
>So I tell her to go to sleep because it's late
>She goes on about how she wants to do "dirty things"
>She eventually says goodnight
>The next day I ask her if she was serious about yesterday
>I ask if she'd actually be down for it
>She is (cont.)
>We make plans
>They never happen
>She says later that she's relived that nothing happend because of her boyfriend
>I try to break away from her because I don't want to go down the "let's just be friends" route
>She wont let me
>A bit later she starts ignoring me
>I tell her that makes me feel like shit but se still does it and gives me half assed lies
>I finally did it
>I told her to fuck off and to never talk to me again
>She does it
>She doesn't even care
>I miss her /mu/
Give me recs
>tfw I never meant to cause you drama
>tfw I never meant to fall in love
>tfw than deny it, try to hide it
>tfw when we kissed I would be done
>realised my friends aren't really my friends because none of them call me to do shit unless I'm the one that messages them
>haven't seen anyone in over a week because I got tired of messaging and calling and looking desperate and lonely
>I've been invited on Facebook to an event happening today by one of them where I'm pretty much expected to go
>despite this no one has personally messaged me or asked me if I'm going
>not sure if I really want to go because I'm sick of their shit and they're not real friends
Do I go and just carry on pretending to be their friends in hopes of meeting new people eventually or do I cut all contact and tell them to fuck off? The latter would mean I'll be alone again, but is it worth being around people I don't like?
Current song is: Aphex Twin - Tha
>Mount Eerie - Youth
>Had a really bad week academically, likely failing multiple tests and not putting in the effort I should.
>I don't think I want to stick with my major (CS), but I don't want to switch into something without good career trajectory.
>Could have taken over some important positions in organizations I'm in but the effort needed scared me away.
>Haven't seen most of my friends in days.
>Don't go to parties or shows anymore.
>Feel like everyone secretly hates me.
>Eat alone nine times out of ten.
>Girl I've loved for a while has finally been acting as if she feels the same way, but I'm afraid of it and feeling things so I'm being a detached asshole all the time.
>She was going to drive a couple of hours last night to visit me because she misses me, but I went to bed before she could confirm because I hate myself.
>Woke up disgusted with everything, especially myself.
>Trying not to kill myself.
>Weezer - Across the Sea
>Thinking about my ex. Choosing drugs over her was the worst decision I've ever made
>Animal Collective - Also Frightened
>Training to be a ski instructor, flew off a jump and bruised my chest and back. Tired as hell and everything aches. Don't have time to listen to music for 6+ hours a day any more. Nobody here wants to talk about theoretical computer science or arthouse film with me.
Famous Prophets (Minds) - Car Seat Headrest
Disappointed in myself
>i used to be real insecure about myself
>autistic super with like 3 friends
>one day I decide to lie about a gf to cope with loneliness
>tell friends all about fake gf
>I get praise for it, to the point that I give out love advice
>I actually start to feel real good about myself
>to the point that I've made up fake memories of a fake gf
>I started to feel confident with myself, like I could actually get a real gf
>i try several times but I just prove to be too shy/spergy
>larger circle of friends
>never touched cigarettes, alcohol, drugs
>no gf still
>really good college
>reminiscing with friends
>"hey anon, how is that ex of yours anyway"
>I hesitate and wave it off
>"look man, I've been thinking about it.. Is she even a real person?"
>my friend is p. cool with it, he knows what I've been through and that I've matured
>I on the other hand am not ready for the big world
>coming from an all boys school I have no idea what a grill is like
>I've had 1 female friend ever
>Iunno what to feel now really
Go to bar, start hitting on women, get rejected about a hundred times until one of them is into you, go have sex that will definitely be bad.
Repeat several times until you're good at sex.
>no music right now my head hurts
>on a comedown from three days of consecutive mdma use
>girl i like cut contact with me out the blue i would have liked to get to know her better
>almost winded up doing heroin again last night
>if my friend has saved the dig he prepared for me i'm most likely going to do it tonight at some point
>said friend is living in a shitty situation with his psycho dad who has set up security cameras all around the house & frequently physically & emotionally abuses my friend & his mother
>going to go for a jog sometime this week with another friend & try to get myself together
>my gf over skype; gonna listen to Swans and Theo Parrish here in a little bit
>Feeling p good. Got a head-ish start on Saturday. Fixing to make myself a baller gains breakfast. Mistress is paying loads of attention to me, finna go and get weird with her tomorrow after busting some powerclean PRs. Gonna go get some drinks and study at the taproom later. 8/10 optimism for the weekend fellas.
> Current Song
Listening to my Amp do a feedback loop, practicing for my first solo power electronics show
> Current feels
I really wish I had a GF that was into music and taller than me.
That was what one of them was like, and it was a really happy relationship.