What do I need to do in order to become an edgy tough true metalhead?
>le metalhead stereotype
this is as far from reality as possible
>spend shit tons of money on merch, chains, boots, etc
nope me and my friends just where jeans and shirts nothing special nothing expensive you could literally buy the clothes at a thrift store for $10
>learn to shred and play master of puppets and really fast pentatonic solos.
i did but not necessary
>go to guitar center
not even once
Well, don't you need to do a really hardcore foolhardy edgy thing to define you as a true metalhead?
Look guys, here's the #1 authority in Metal. His word is the metal religion. He's the metal jesus come to spread the word of metal. Let's sniff his farts cause he's obviously the authority in metal.
im not trying to be some elitist fagot i'm simply giving you how me and my friends do it
metal isn't about being flashy of famous its just about the music and having fun
Well first child, you must travel to the land of Norway, there, you must seek the prophet himself, Varg™, he shall send you on a quest, usually that includes finding Dead's™ corpse and using one of his remains to open a teleport to hell itself, there you will probably have to travel with Virgil through hell until you reach the last plane, at that point Satan™ will teach you the secrets of metal if you can defeat him at a game of dick sucking, you came this far no turning back now after that you should reach Valhalla and Odin™ will decide if you're worthy to carry the name of True Metalhead™.
This is, my shitty fake screamo listening friend, is the rite of passage to true metalhood!™
Step 1: Stop trying to be edgy.
Step 2: Stop trying to be tough.
Step 3: Listen to metal