>"Bro, I'm not gay. I'm married to a beautiful mare. I just like sucking dick is all."
>"Bring your dick over here and you'll find out."
>"It's not gay. It is just a platonic dick sucking. That's all."
>"IT'S TRUE, ANON!"
>"SHINY LIKES TO SUCK MY DICK ALL THE TIME!"
>"Shiny isn't gay. He just likes to spend a lot of time with the guards training. He likes to wrestle a lot but he isn't any good at it. He usually just gets pinned for like twenty minutes. Sometimes I think he loses on purpose to make the others feel better."
Nah, bro, you've got it backwards. See, getting your dick sucked ain't gay. Everybody likes gettin' their dick sucked, bro. Suckin' dick though, that's shits gay, tho. 'Cause you got a mouth full of fat cock. If the lights are off, though, you got what they call 'plausible deniability'. If I don't see you suckin' dick, and you don't see who's dick you suckin', nobody knows what actually happened. Maybe some bitch snuck in through the window and sucked my dick, I just don't know. And if someone says you sucked their dick while the lights are out, that'd constitute slander, 'cause they didn't see shit. It's the same bro-code loophole from Chad v. Derek that declared glory holes not gay. If you can get the person who's dick your wantin' to suck to agree to a declaration of 'no homo' before you start suckin', then as long as there ain't no witnesses, legally speaking the act is considered not gay. If someone sees you suckin' dick you might be able to argue the "JUST A PRANK BRO" defense, but that defense usually only holds up if you film the event.
>"Bro, I'm telling you I'm not gay. Being gay means your attracted to colts. I'm not attracted to colts, I just like sucking their dicks is all. Nothing gay about that."
Sucking dick IS GAY.
Stop being in denial already.
I didn't teach bro code at Oxford for 20 fuckin' years for some fruity-ass fairy horse to tell me what is and isn't gay you cock-munchin' piece of shit. If you wanna suck dick and kiss your bitch like nothin' happened you gotta go through proper channels.
>"Bro, there are proper channels for sucking dick? You mean I can suck dick on the professional level? If I can suck dick as a career then it means I'm not doing it because I'm gay, right?"
Ugh, your killing me, bro. Take on a stage name, go into gay porn as a gay-for-pay actor or fluffer. You can suck as much dick as you want, and it ain't gay as long as you're doin' it to pay for college. If anyone calls you out on your past history of suckin' dick for leisure, just accuse them off fantasizin' about you suckin' dick and call them gay right back. Most bros won't refute you and risk you digging up their past. Everybody's sucked a dick at least once.
It's not gay if you're different species.
>you might be able to argue the "JUST A PRANK BRO" defense
I want to rub his throbbing, moist cock and fondle those big juicy balls until he cums thick ropes of hot spunk all over the sheets and floor.
>"Mmmm good bro keep going that way~"
>"Mares loves when someone going rough so don't be afraid of doing it harder, mares don't have balls so don't mind my balls being slapped by yours~"
>"Most of them don't have such big flanks like mine so don't worry about breaking me~"
this is gold from begging to end holy shit
>"Oh Anonymous, look at yourself"
>"It almost looks like you're trying to get my husband pregnant"
>"I’m glad that you two are such great friends, why you don't sleep with us tonight?"
>"We can fuck him together so you get an idea of how a married experienced pony does it"
>*pant* *hahhhh* *phew* *sigh*
>"Nah Cadence, take a chill pill, tho. I'm just being real is all. Boy's cute as hell, I wanted to wrestle him and ride on that dick just now, no homo, you know how it is babe."
>"Anon, I'm glad you'd be comfortable with your feelings as a man like that and all, but uh I hope it didn't feel gay or anything. Just "no homo" and we're cool, right?"
>"Hey Bro, since you are still without luck, what if next time I use mare clothes?"
>"That way is going to look fine so there is no need to think about it being homo"
>"All for you bro"
As a registered brottorney, I can say that 9/10 the it's just a prank defense will hold up in a court of brostice. One could argue that you were trying to make the victim look homo, hence amplifying your alpha levels.
There was an extreme case 1976 in Thad v. Brad, in which Thad tricked Brad into buttfucking him, but because Brad was the one doing it, it made him look like a faggot for fucking a dude. Photo documentation was taken off the prank, and Thad's Alpha levels for pranking Brad so hard went through the roof.
Brad on the other hand being the victim was not held at fault, as he did not know he was buttfucking a dude. He was acquitted but had to pay the penalty of being out Alphad and was paddled by his fraternity brothers.
If you were to use the just a prank defense, you'd have a solid case if you were to take pictures and simply hoard them for later, in order to maximize the alpha at a later time.
>tfw only gay for zyzz and shining
>both aren't real
Feels gud to be straight
I can't stand people who insist do gay things and insist they're not gay.
Sucking dick as a dude is gay.
You can still be bisexual, since you seem to like pussy enough to marry Candyass, but that doesn't make dicksucking any less gay an act.
Stop lying to yourself and everyone else. It makes me sick. Whatever you are, you ain't straight.
I love you two.
I wanna breed you guys senseless.
No gay stories today?
Shiny is for sexual
Totally not homo
Shining Armor is a total bro
>Lets you creampie him so you know how it feels
>It’s a total bro cleaning your dick with his mouth after you two finish
You have no idea how fucking badly I would want a friend like that. That would just make it all worthwhile for me.
When I was growing up I had a long-term friend. From kindergarten to highschool. As such, we went through the experimentation phase together.
As little kids, we spent the night at each other's houses all the time. Even when we got older, he would spend the night at my house all the time. So much so, our parents joked that he lived with us. One night, I got an idea based on some truth-or-dare games we;ve played in the past: In the morning, I would wake him up by sucking his dick.
Totally not gay tho.
I'm just saying, I would love to have someone like that in my life. I've just started becoming more confident in myself, but I have yet to get laid. I have been close, but I'm not there just yet. To have a friend who would do that for me just to hold me over would mean the fucking world to me. It wouldn't even matter if it was a guy or a girl. Just getting my dick wet would be incredible.
Considering that Candyass is the Princess, why is that a surprise?
I just want to stroke his diamond-hard horsecock and cradle his big, warm horsey ballsack while listening to the cute little whimpers he makes as I constantly bring him to the edge of release
"Hey Shining how are you bro?"
>"Ah dude, I've been awesome."
"Yeah? Me too man, hey listen, you wanna head over to my place and hang out again?"
>"Uh, well, I dunno.."
"Come on man."
>"A-alight, I guess."
"Hey bro, what's the matter man?"
>"I-i don't wanna talk about it."
>You and him get back to your place.
"Hey man, want a beer, it aught to cheer you up, you seem kinda bummed."
>He drinks the beer.
>"H-hey, aren't you gonna have one too?"
"Maybe in a while."
>"Bro, what's going on man?"
>Shining catches you playing with your junk through your pockets
>"Bro you're trying to pop a boner aren't you!?"
>"Bro come on man, that's not cool."
"Come on man, I had to!"
>He gives you a quizzical look.
"Look man, I'm on a dry spell, I can't get the ladies to even look at me these days."
>"Bro you can't just do this everytime you want sex."
"Why not, come on, you enjoy it too right?"
>"W-well I mean, yeah, but, you know I have my manly pride to consider too."
"Hey man, you know we'll always be bros right?"
>"Yeah, I know."
"And what happens here always stays between us."
>You unbutton your pants pulling them down along with your boxers.
>Your cock is exposed before him.
"So, will you do a bro a solid?"
>He rolls his eyes.
>"Well, I guess since it's my mouth, it's still not technically gay, so.. Sure.."
"Thanks bro, you're the best."
>You feel his soft lips come over your head.
>You almost immediately bite your lower lip.
"Mmm, take me deeper."
>Shining opens his mouth more taking more of your cock inside his mouth.
"Shining, bro, can I ask you to do something else?"
>He's looking up at you.
"Is it ok to ask if you'll lick my balls too?"
"I-it's not gay if you're a bro remember?"
>You feel him go down underneath you.
>"I-i would only do this for you, a-and only cause we're bros!"
>He closes his eyes.
>His tongue runs along the surface of your testicles.
>He keeps licking them.
"Mmm, that's good, now, run your tongue up the shaft."
>His tongue runs the course along your dick all the way to the tip.
"Oh that's good, now take it into your mouth again."
>You feel him slip his lips over your head.
>His suction there.
"Now get the rest of it in there."
>He complies taking the full length of your cock in his mouth again.
"N-now just hold it there."
>Shining holds your cock in his mouth looking up at you.
>You grab the back of his head.
"Ok, I'm gonna use your mouth like a vagina ok?"
>He nods as much as he can with your dick in his mouth.
>You take his head and mouth fuck him as he sits there taking it.
>You shove it in hard forcing him to deepthroat.
>He gags as you shoot cum down the back of his throat.
>Your cock deflates.
>A bit of cum still dribbling out of the tip.
"Can you get that?"
>You say pointing to your dick.
>He swallows whats in his mouth before returning to your dick to cleanup the leftovers.
>He sucks it all up.
>"W-was that good?"
"You were great."
Where to start. First off, a bro who tries to get another bro drunk so that he can nut in his mouth ain't no bro at all. Secondly, there was no verbal "no homo", so the entire act could be considered gay right of the bat. Thirdly, testicular contact is a huge grey area. Derek v. Brandon set the precedent that balls touchin' during anal sex is definitely gay, so one would be wise to avoid it during oral sex. Fourthly, the face-fuckin' is very un-brolike. While face-fuckin' isn't gay, getting face-fucked is. Fagifyin' your bro like that ain't cool. Finally, and this is the big one, the swallowin'. Never, EVER let your bro swallow. Swallowin' is the gayest shit you could do. When you swallow, your body breaks down the jizz into its constituent nutrients and distributes it throughout your cells. That jizz becomes part of you. Your bro has some of you inside of him for the rest of his life. If you make your bro swallow, you might as well put a ring on him and start planning your fuckin' weddin'.
>Cadence uses magic to change Shining into a mare so you can impregnate both of them
Dick sucking prank (Gone Wrong!) (Gone Sexual) (Almost Shot)
Shining is such a bro that he'll even wear a Rarity wig and blow his little step brother just so he can ease those raging little dragon hormones of his. It's not gay if he's helping a little bro out. Family doesn't count as gay.
>It hurts, anon.