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Dadonequus
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 164
Thread images: 24
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in this thread, follow anon, a human-turned-colt who has found himself in Equestria, adopted as the son of none other than Discord, spirit of chaos.

Previous thread >>26281930

Erf
http://pastebin.com/u/Erf1111

Laskvurel (The writer formerly known as George)
http://pastebin.com/D0wLPdkt

Hoers
http://pastebin.com/SiZ1QV12
>>
thx anon
>>
living witha bump
>>
What is this about?
>>
Fluttercord
Anon/sunbutt
Bugbutt cuck
>>
>>26379043
Wait I lost myself, will Erf play with us L4D2?
>>
>>26380385
Maybe. I bought the game
>>
>>26380058
Its about anon being pulled from his world to be discords son. In my story. He turned anon into a colt forthe lurpose of easing pony minds due to his past transgressions
>>
bump OF ROCK
>>
>>26380385
>>26380750
Someone mentioned games?
>>
>anon fucking with all the fillies in his group last chapter
that was great
>>
>>26381498
L4D? Count me in.
>>
>>26383414
Did I miss L4D with Erf?
>>
>>26383663
Guess we did, Anon. Oh well, I probably wouldn't have had time anyways.
>>
BUBUMP
>>
>>26383917
>>26383663
It never happened to my knowledge but if yall feel like playing something feel free to add me if you want (btw I'm about to call it a night). Defend100 also sorry about lately I got caught up in XCOM I couldn't stop playing it.
>>
I'd say we play smash on 3ds, but my 3ds is not going above 10.3, going to downgrade when i get a pc and get cfw
>>
Just got off work
>>
>>26387822
nice
>>
>>26387822
How was your day?
>>
>>26387944
>erf in equestria
>Erf sees Twilight for the first time
>she greets him
>But all he can see is a literal egghead
>Erf goes to a corner and cries
>has a heart attack when Scootaloo swings by
>Can't handle chickens either
>>
Did someone said L4D2 with Erf? I'm in
>>
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>>26388408
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>>26388423
you guys are killing me, you know that. i realllllly dislike L4D2
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>>26388455
But you are playing with us... right?
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>>26388475
ugh.....downloading it now. it's gonna take all night. but goddamn. i really don't want to play this game. I have no fun with it whatsoever.
>>
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>>26388493
You are gonna have fun with us. Don't be silly! And if anything fails we can have Scrappy do you some sexual favours
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>>26388520
i've never had fun playing this game with anybody. The game itself is extremely boring to me.
>>
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>>26388539
You have never played it with us
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>>26388587
you have no idea the amount of salt i have for that game and games like it.
>>
>>26388599
Look it like this mang, at least this time we can actually have some fun banter while we play unlike the wii u and it's shitty mic. Last time you sounded like you had a southern accent
>>
>>26388653
i suppose.
>>
>tfw no frens
>or mic
>>
>>26388709
>Tfw no friends
>Mic yes
>No games
>Not good PC to run good games
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>>26388709
Get a mic they are cheap
>>
>>26388830
>Not good PC to run good games
You don't need a good one to run good games, there are a lot of games that can run on mid-tier laptops. XCOM for example can run in almost every potato, same with every source game.

As for friends, we are here mang
>>
it finished downloading
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>>26388834
i live with family
i would hardly be able to use it anyways
>>
>>26388830
what are you specs?
>>
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>>26388893
>past 2 AM. no one asked for green or ask to play L4D2 when i actually got it downloaded.
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>>26389292
green please erf
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>>26389308
too late now nigga. i already let myself get super relaxed. my mind is near gone at this point.

there will be some green tomorrow however. Whether it's asked for or not. I actually wanna get this portion done. for now, i think i need to relax anywya. super bowl sunday really fucked my shit up at work.
>>
>>26389292
I didn't want to impose
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>>26389402
no worries, there will be green tomorrow as i said.
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>>26389178
Wuts a spec?
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>>26389292
I don't even have L4D2, how much it cost in steam? I'm lazy to search it because i'm writing some greenies
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>>26389538
it's like 3 bucks right now.
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>>26389593
I'll see if there are any steam cards in my city then.
A game is more fun if you have friends to play with.
O-or someone..
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>>26389530
This is
>>26388844
Tbh i don't like xcom
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>>26389649
Xcom looks like a shoot and fail type of game for me.
I can't into those games, looks fun, but I can't
>Pic related

>>26388844
>We are here
Who I need to add then?
>>
dead thread
>>
Very dead thread
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>>26391148
that's what you get for being degenerade
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>>26388844
>tfw when I have a Windows XP.
>>
Yo
>>
Bumo
>>
,
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>>26391595
Jesus christ just update to W7
>>
mouse bump
>>
nump
>>
So, are we playing L4D2 tonight?
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>>26396674
Now that I think about, Erf didn't give us his steam
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we gettign green tonight?
>>
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Don't die
>>
holy shit what a dead thread this thread is so dead that its fucking d e a d
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>>26398746
>>
>>26397968
Yes
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>>26399037
are we playan L4D2 tonight?
>>
>>26399066
no fuck off
>>
>>26399150
kek
>>
>>26399066
Ill have to use a trip. As the above erfphone isnt me. But indeed no. Tired. Nightshift fucked up the eggs again. Spent half thw day fixing
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>>26399235
still getting green?
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>>26399298
When i get home
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>>26399453
So no L4D2?
>>
>>26399825
Do you have a hardon for that game?
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>>26399844
I have a hardon for videogames
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>>26399844
I have a hardon for you
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>>26399936
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>>26399936
>>
ok, i'm here. time to write in this very dead thread
>>
>>26400773
>Applebloom was a dynamo at this. in every attempt she made. She had managed to hit the nine targets. You had no doubts. You knew she'd hit that final target.
>And since you had a firm belief it was rigged. You'd make sure that ball utterly wrecks the final target.
>The crowd still had hope in Applebloom yet. And cheered for her. They had hope that she would succeed.
>You just stood there, finalizing some final thoughts in your head.
>You knew what to do. As long as Applebloom's aim was as good as last time. You would create a tube of immense horizontal gravity. The ball would be thrown into it and be propelled right into the target with enough force to knock it down. You hoped anyway.
>Applebloom hits the final target. Making Nightmare Moon once again appear.
>"The final showdown once again,surely this time this filly will knock down Nightmare Moon" Flim says, his tone perpetuating no doubt. Even if it was a farce.
>"Surely she will, somepony needs to end the tyrannical hold she has on all this delicious candy. Wouldn't you agree, cousin?" Flam says, looking to his brother with absolute smug
>"I agree wholeheartedly, I can feel it in my very bones!" Flim exclaims with all his might. sitting on his rear to lift his forelegs in the air to empathize his false excitement.
>.......oh, yes...you could feel it in your bones too.
>everything fell silent. You could hear a pin drop at this point. Applebloom readied the ball.
>The Flim Flam Brothers showed no fear. They knew they had this in the bag.
>Of course, you'd make sure you were the one holding the bag all along.
>As Applebloom musters all her strength, you cast the spell. Setting the invisible tube of gravity on her projected arc
>She tosses the ball.
>The moment the ball hits the gravitational tube. It speeds up to a velocity faster than any bullet. And goes through the Nightmare Moon Target. Blowing the entire top half to tiny bits....and yet. the target still stood.
>That was a cheat if you ever saw one
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>>26400773
Yaaaay
>>
I hope anon turns their bits into golden coin spiders if they try to take the money and run.
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>>26400965
>Everyone was just staring. Applebloom, the group, the crowd, you, and the Flim Flam brothers.
>".....hey....." Applebloom looked at her hoof closely. "ah never knew I was that strong"
>"HEY LOOK!" A stalwart, tall, wizard dressed pony called out. Pointing at the target. "IT'S STILL STANDING! WHAT GIVES!"
>It took a moment to register. But Flim and Flam just realized the huge problem with having a partly smashed target still standing would cause.
>Flim jumped in front of the target in a hurry, to guard it from view "You all must be tired, it is quite a late night. She actually did manage to knock down the target...."
>the faint sound of wood hitting something can be heard.
>Flim steps out of the way. "See, c-completely knocked down."
>"HEY LOOK, THAT DING GUY HAS HIS HOOF ON SOME SORT OF LEVER! I BET THATS WHAT REALLY KNOCKED THE TARGET DOWN!" Whoever this pony was....he was pretty observant.
>"Preposterous, as my cousin has already told you..." Flam took his hoof off the lever to point at the pony "you're all tired from all the festivities, and to add on. Used to seeing the target stand. so of course...."
>But then Flam hears it, the moment he took his hoof off the level. The target stood back up. He dun goofed.
>The moment Applebloom sees it. She fills both with rage and with pride. She knew she hit that target fair and square. And to get cheated like that...ooohhh noooope.
>"Ah knew ah hit the target right! Ah just knew it, ya'll a bunch of cheaters! You owe everypony everything you took from them!" Applebloom demands as she hops up on the counter.
>"Of course, we are b-but simple cousins. Although we do take offense to being called cheaters. The target itself is merely tougher as we said. But, you did destroy it either way...so..." Flim pulls another lever. Detaching the candy bag's stand from the main booth.
>You step up to the counter, and look at them with the smugiest smug smirk you could muster. Oh, you were enjoying this so much.
>>
>>26401340
Transform the bits into golden Cazadors
>>
Transform the bits into golden bugs that eat their disguises.
>>
Transform the bits into the scarabs from the mummy.
>>
>>26401340
"And what about the cash, of fine fellows of falsehoods."
>You say that in such a smug,jovial, and old timey way. There was no way you were losing this time.
>"Yes!...right! Of course, Ding. Would you please prepare all the bits into a bag for these fine fellows?" Flim said as he edged himself to the left of the booth.
>The crowd was being patient. but they all looked like they wanted to tear them limb from limb.
>"Of course cousin Ring" Flam pulled out a puffy looking purple bag. "The bits are right here. If you all will just take a moment to open it and count. You will see it's all there."
>Flam gently put the bag on the counter. The big was big to be sure. But it couldn't have had all the bits. And even still. They had yet to return your saddle bag.
"....what about my saddle bag?"
>"Of course, allow me to fetch that for you" Flam said as he slowly backed away from the counter and magically hovered your bag up. He was moving it veeerryyyy slowly towards the counter.
>Fucker probably just realized how much money he just lost. Shouldn't have cheated.
>"Ah wonder how many bits really are in here." Applebloom slowly opened the purple bag. and the moment she did. a little spark flew up and blinded everyone with light, including you.
>"NOW BROTHER! WE MUST FLEE!" Flam yells out to Flim.
>Flim quickly pulls another lever. Opening and transforming the booth and launching Flim and Flam forward inside a carriage powered by an apparent steam engine for forward movement..
> "Agh, what heppened! I can't see!" one of the ponies in the crowd yelled out.
>"I think they used something in the bag! Are they still there! Somepony check!" Cried another.
>Applebloom's eyes adjusted first. She was still on the counter. But all it was was a skeleton now as the entire interior was gone. The only thing left was the giant bag of candy. "oh no......."
>"Applebloom? Can you see what's going on? I'm still blind!" Sweetie Belle yelled out as she continued to rub her eyes.
>>
>>26401574
NOW BROTHER! WE MUST FLEE!
fuckers
>>
>>26401574
>"T-they're gone.....and they took the bits with em'' Applebloom was crushed. Even with her winning. She was the one that opened the bag that let the brothers get away.
>As your own eyes begin to adjust, you could see that they had managed to make an escape.
>.......or so they thought.
>Applebloom looked to you, her expression...man...was it heartbreaking. "A-anon...ah...ahm really sorry...ah lost everypony's money." She then looked to the crowd "Ahm...really sorry everypony"
>"That's ok, you didn't know what was in that bag" one of the crowd ponies say
>"Yeah, we all fell for their trick. What matters is that you still beat them at their own game"
>"Yeah, and did you see that throw! Because I sure didn't. The ball was just.....so fast"
>The crowd was praising Applebloom. She managed to do what everyone else couldn't. Even if it was your magic that helped it along.
>The rest of the group grabbed Applebloom and held her up as a hero. Asking for a chant from Applebloom.
>"Come on Everypony! At least we still have the candy! And we can all share it AND still have plenty for the offering to Nightmare Moon! Right Applebloom?" Scootaloo says with axcitement and cheer.
>"Ah course, there's gotta be enough candy for the whole town to share." Applebloom says
>"Let's hear it for Applebloom!" Sweetie Belle cheers.
>And so the crowd cheered. You gave a few cheers out yourself as you flew up to inspect the bag. You were glad to see Applebloom so happy even after what happened. You'd never tell her the truth of course. This was something you'd let her have. She deserved it.
>....those arrogant fucks. There really was candy inside. No doubt to make sure that if anyone actually did get a good look that they couldn't call shenanigans right there.
>And speaking of shenanigans.
>...you couldn't let those two just get away.
>So while the crowd was cheering Applebloom on, you slipped away and went after the brothers.
>>
>>26401717
Bring justice... Chaotic justice
>>
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>>26401717
My justice boner is rising
>pic very related, except replace jews wih stuff about justice
>>
>>26401813
ALIGNMENT ACHIEVED

CHAOTIC GOOD
>>
Ooh I hope Anon fucking wrecks these dudes.
>>
I want to see Anon in a costume of some super hero while yelling "JUSTICE, MY NAME IS ANON" as he strikes down Flim and Flam.
>>
>>26401717
Net is down
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>>26402102
Also stupidly dydnt save my notepad file
>>
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>>26402102
>>
>>26402117
Fucks sake. Cant i have a night where shut doesnt go wrong? Cant even open steam to wait this shit out
>>
>>26402128
fuck the isp
>>
>>26402128
and the internet is back.......and it's at a point where i'm too tired to write....god fucking dammit. well whatever. it creates hype anyway. Flim Flam justice in chapter I suppose. make suggestions and such. maybe i'll use them if i can make it fit with the story properly
>>
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>>26402427
My justice boner is ready Erf
>>
>>26379043
Going to try writting later today.
>>
Bunp
>>
>>26401717
SOON
GON B GUD
>>
Sorry, I couldn't be on these couple of days due to me doing work and playing DT non-stop ever since I bought it. Loving it so far, hope it's longer than it seems to be. Feels short.

Besides that fact, we should set up a time when we're all going to play L4D2 or something.
Also, I agree L4D2 is boring without friends or people to play it with. It's either really annoying or too easy sometimes
>>
>>26405743
shut the fuck up about l4d2 jesus fucking christ
>>
>>26405848
Whoa, calm your titties. If you don't like thing, why not ignore it? Oh wait I forgot where we are right now.
>>
Hitmonchan here, didn't know the thread was back up. What I miss?
>>
>>26402427
suggestion: how about Anon trapping'em, in somekind of box and inside of it playing illusions or something so that way no one outside of the box can see whats happening, and Anon could mentally fuck'em as he pleases....
or
he sends them to where the rape tentacles are
>>
>>26406743
>>26401717
Ok, finally caught up!

How about making Anon a sleuth detective and depict the chase in to a film Noir with 30-50s slang talk.

Also mandatory trench coat, fedora and pipe costume for Anon.
>>
Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/h4Gz1TXK

Making green right now.
>>
>>26405848
But L4D2 is fun
>>
>The next morning I felt a warm breeze wash over my body.
>In some ways it felt pleasant but at the same time it disturbed me as I would never leave a window open.
>When I opened my eyes I could see what looked like a miniature tornado tearing through my room.
>”Salt”.
>And the tornado rushed to the cabinet tearing it apart and throwing a thing of salt to the creature that goes by the name Discord.
>He preceded to poor the salt into his mouth and tossed the container into a pot full of something.
>Seeing this I was filled with rage because as it seemed all of this was caused by the creature that refused to leave.
“I don’t care who are what you are but you are leaving now.”
>I walked right up to Discord while staring him right in the eyes.
>Instead of feeling threatened he only returned a smile.
>”But I can’t leave until I find what I want.”
“And why can’t you?”
>Discord returned a slightly bored glance.
>”Because life is getting boring for me.”
“Well you aren’t getting a friend here, now leave.”
>The grin then returns to the creatures face “Not until one of two things happen.”
>At this point I was getting somewhat aggravated by him but I decided to play along.
“And those are?”
>”Option one: I find someone to take back and leave.”
“And option two?”
>”We play my game.”
>>
>>26407359
“And what game is that?”
>”You will only be told if you accept the challenge and conditions.”
>At this point I figured I had nothing to lose as at the time I thought if I lost he would just stay.
“I’m in”
>Discord made a wide grin at hearing this.
>”Oh and if I win you come with me.”
>At the time I was startled by this as I thought I didn’t agree to such a thing.
“I didn’t agree to that.”
>”Oh but you did; you said that you agree to the conditions. You said you agree to them before even hearing the conditions. Now let’s begin.”
>Discord then snapped his talons changing something in the room but I couldn’t see what right away.
>”Somewhere inside this room is a red ball. If you find it within three minutes you win, otherwise pack your bags.”
>At pack your bags he summoned what looked to be a tourist outfit. Hawaiian shirt and all.
>As soon as he finished I started tearing up the place, throwing cabinet doors open, flipping over my mattress but where ever I looked I couldn’t find the red ball he was describing.
>At the end a giant air horn went off somewhat hurting my ears.
>”Such a shame you were so close too.” He says this while pulling back the wallpaper revealing that inside the walls are thousands of small red bouncy balls.
>Once again I turned to the creature and stared into his eyes.
“And how are you planning on making me go?”
>If only I didn’t challenge the creature this one last time it would have been easier.
>>
>>26406938
I like this idea
>>
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>>26406938
>>26408570
A Film Noir setting would need a villain or mystery or damsel in distress or femme fatale to work right?

I'm assuming Anon would play the part of the hero sleuth and Flim-Flam as the villains?
>>
>>26408781
No, the flim flams are the femme fatale
>>
>>26409280
Pretty sure Chryssi is the femme fatale.
>>
>>26409595
No, it's actually Discord
>>
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>>26409595
>>26409280
>FlimFlam trying to hit on Anon for his bits
>Discord trying to hit on Anon for his 'bits' for the keks

I'd read that
>>
Are we playan L4D2 tonight?
>>
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>>26410578
>>
>>26410578
I'm up for a L4D2 night
>>
>>26410578
>>26410803
Is this seriously a thing now Elo?
I thought we did Wii U on gaming nights.

>>26408570
>>26408781
Got some jazz for the chase scene:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4LSKnVLBjU
>>
>>26410901
Some nigga said L4D2, and I'm up for that kind of thing too
>>
Are we getting green tonight?
>>
>>26411132
yes just planning. well...planning done. i'll plan the rest as i write
>>
>>26411150
And are we playan tonight?
>>
>>26401717
"It was late at night. Applebloom had just won a game rigged harder than the Obama election and we we're all ready to reap the sweet reward. But those Flim Flam brothers pulled a fast one on all of us. With a flash of light, they made out like bandits into the darkness."
"I used the light of my horn and the magic I had to follow the trail made by their steam powered gellopy, or whatever it actually was. But as I traced the trail, I realized that my costume may not be appropriate for the situation. It wasn't that it was bad. But it's grizzled feeling on my body made me feel like I had to question everything I see and hear. In the exact way I see or hear it."
"So I used my magic to put on a yellow fedora and trenchcoat. It just felt right."
"The trail wasn't hard to follow, it was only a matter of distance. I knew this was going to be a long trip. So I conjured up a cherry lollipop and suck it in my mouth. I loved cherry lolipops. They reminded me of sweet dames back in Ponyville. And just like any cherry flavored goodness, I was going to pop this case right open.
>The trail led me down the road to the outskirts of town. Seems they we're making a beeline to another place. Probably back to the Crystal Empire. The Crystal Empire, I had only been there three times. None of them what I'd call a good experience."
"Then I saw it, seems their ride had ended early. The machine was dead and smoking. they didn't crash into anything. So my instincts told me that the thing broke down. That means they must be making it the rest of the way by hoof"
>>
>>26411286
i have no idea why i greentexted that. I'm still in my other writing mode. but it was supposed to be " " not >

>>26411276
not tonight. i'm gonna be writing
>>
>>26411286
Hah, so you really went for the Noir thingy
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>>26411286
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>>26411286
>It was late at night. Applebloom had just won a game rigged harder than the Obama election

Kek
I'm loving this Noir style of yours, keep it up Erf!
>>
Suggestion: Have the world turn monochrome and jazz music playing in the background. Then have flim-flam panic into believing they've gone colorblind and crazy hearing music.
>>
>>26411492
This
>>
>>26411492
Thiiiiiiiiiis
>>
>>26411492
ok ok, let me just replan things. gonna have to toss out what i had in mind. This could work out a lot better anyway...also gottta add rain.
>>
>>26411286
"I go to investigate their steam powered tin can a little closer. And just my luck, they really we're smart enough to make out with the goods. Troublesome to be sure, if they weren't dealing with a colt with a magical horn and a heart full of retribution....a good hat helps too. Let's them know I mean business,"
"I notice their tracks leading down the road. they were hoofing it. I can't imagine those two crummy con artists having gone too far. But they were crummy as they were crafty. I had to keep my eye out for any slick moves they'd try to do to throw anypony off their trail."
"I felt rather comfortable as I followed both set of hooftracks. The night sky was beautiful, and the air was clean, took me back to days of my actual youth. That is, when I used to imagine what clean air smelled like. them were the breaks for a city kid like myself. but something about this setting set the mood just right, I could swear I was hearing jazzy music in the background as I made my stride. everything in sight looking like an old movin' picture show. Heck, even talking to myself felt natural"
"Of course, I then realized that I may have subconsciously set myself up for a Noir detective setting. Chaos Magic, it's like a woman. You never know what they are gonna do, and right when you got them figured out, they pull a fast one on you. Of course, being thrown for a loop was sometimes a good thing. Kept things interesting. a sense of danger always keeps a good man...or rather pony, on their toes"
>>
You can do it Anon, boop those cons in the schnozzole and book em!
>>
>>26411751
Looking good Erf, I maybe would of used the word dame or mare instead of woman because of the setting but other then that you really capture the detective story setting down.
>>
>>26411807
I used woman instead of dame because some Noir's would say woman instead of dame when using them to compare something.
>>
>>26411751
"I could just teleport up to them. But they'd no doubt be ready for anything. My senses told me to let them get as far as they need to get to feel like there was nobody going after them. I was going to let them do the opposite of sweat. I was going to let them ease their minds, make them think they managed to get out without a hitch. It's funny actually, I guess you can call me a brick wall. Course, there ain't anything funny about being a brick wall. One minute you're high up, doing your job and minding your own business, the next, they tear ya down and leave you as rubble. I already learned that the magic I have isn't a toy. So to prevent myself from getting torn down, I was gonna have to be the wrecking ball instead."
"Course, I had to make sure to keep my head on my shoulders. I had two dames after me afterall. Probably everypony's dream to have two fillies fighting over you. Truth is, if things we're different. I'd probably take them both and let the devil deal with the consequences. But that ain't me. Yeah, I'm a dirty guy. But I have standards and morals. And a taste for the twenty year models. Human years to be exact. Don't exactly know how a pony ages. But if Mayor Mare is any indication, at least they age like fine wine. Course that Granny Smith is a bit too old for my tastes"
>>
>>26411936
"The trail was anything but cold. There was no wind, no snow, no animals mucking about on the road. The case of the stolen bits was going to be open and shut. Easier than writing an episode of Family Guy. I kept my eyes peeled for the slippery pair. Had to make sure they didn't get the bright idea to go off the road. Nothing looked too dangerous sure. But all you had to do was go into a forest and BAM. Timberwolf dinner. Not a good way to go."
"And wouldn't you know it, those two palookas were just beyond a bend on the road behnd some trees. Though, I did find it curious that they just stopped in such an obvious place. I hid behind a tall tree to make sure they didn't spot me. Didn't need them trying to split up. I ready my slingshot, ready to hit them right between the eyes on the word go"
"But wouldn't you know it, if that ain't a kick in the can. They we're in a panic. runnin' around like a butcher just sliced off their heads. Yeah, I should have known. But it didn't hit me until just now. They got sucked into this little world just as I did. And they didn't know what to do. Police Chief Discord, who wasn't actually a police cheif, but it fit the narrative snug like a bug in the rug, would have found this hilarious if he was here. He would have literally busted a gut. And luck would have it, they managed to hang on to all the bits, even my trusty saddle bag."
>>
I love your experiments
>>
>>26412266
"While I watched them panic, I realised I myself wasn't flapping my lips like some mad bird. I was narrating my movements, my thoughts, my cunning and clever quips and cuteness. I could only hope there wasn't a bunch of readers or watchers seeing this, it would have been embarrassing. A man doesn't like to air their dirty laundry like a dame would. and isn't that the problem with them anyway? They never know when to keep their lips from flapping."
"with a grasp on the situation. I step out, cool and calm. I wanted them to know immediately that I was in control of the situation. I leaned my head down, so my fedora covers my eyes, making sure my delicious lolipop stick sticks out upwards. I was the big guy around here, and I was going to be calling the shots"
>"Heya boys, ain't it dangerous to be walking this side of the road at this kind of night? could be bandits around."
>"BROTHER! WHAT'S GOING ON!? EVERYTHING IS COLORLESS! I'VE GONE COLORBLIND!"
>"I'VE GOT COLORBLIND TOO! AND I KEEP HEARING VOICES! SOMEPONY OR SOMETHING IS FOLLOWING US! WE'VE BEEN CURSED!"
"Cursed? that was a good one. They we're so panicked they didn't see me. I was right under their nose. But I guess the color loss made me look like some sort of statue. I guess they could hear how the story was going to go down. That was just fine with me, I liked being a storyteller, and stories we're always nice when they had a happy ending"
>"Gonna tell you guys, I didn't think you were weaselly enough to run off with the loot. Considering that your business in the Crystal Empire was kind of legit. But I guess ya can't kick that nasty habit you both have. So, are you going to give up quietly? Or do we have to have some sort of western showdown?"
>>
>>26412342
I like this
This is perfect
>>
>>26412342
Computer crashed. Gimme moment. Its just a small issue
>>
>>26412342
The good, the bad and the money.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dC6jnHFdqbQ
>>
>>26412342
"they noticed me this time, and it seemed even in my new digs that they remembered who I was. That was fine by me, I wanted them to know that I wasn't some small time town pony"
"I gave my slingshot a twirl with my magic, this was a pony detective's best friend. Could even be his nightly lover. Then Ilooked them right in the eye. I wanted them to know that it was the end of the line."
>"I wouldn't try anything if I were you, I'm pretty good with this thing, I'd have you both in the hospital before you even knew what hit you. Now, I think I asked you before. Why don't you give me back all those bits, nice and easy,"
"It was either the fact they could hear my every word, or the fact that I had a horn on my head. Maybe both, I wouldn't know. But Flam seemed to be realizing that I was the one who arranged this jazzy shindig. Though Flim didn't seem to have caught on."
>"Or it could be the fact that you're standing right in front of us. I gotta say, I've seen a lot of magic tricks in my life. But a colt that could manipulate reality? That's something I've never heard of before."
>"...Brother, you can't be serious. You can't tell me it's that colt that's doing all this. The color, the music, the voices. No colt has that kind of power"
>"It is true brother, I had heard something about our looney Draconeequs resident having a son. I didn't piece it together until I realized that there had to be a trick to that saddle bag of his. And I'd take a guess he's doing all this with that horn. Truly a con of cons that must be respected. I bow to you. For you have bested us"
"It was hard to think of what was going on. They could hear my every thought as if I spoke it. And although Flim was looking like he was going to have a heart attack. Flam seemed to be trying to run a con on me. Of course, you'd always have to expect a trick from no good flimflammers like the Flim Flam brothers themselves. Made me sick"
>>
Any good recommended jazz to listen to while reading this?

Or just this one? >>26410901
>>
>>26412663
>"Then why don't you give up the goods? Why do you both trick ponies out of their bits anyway. Don't you make enough at that gem shop of yours?"
>"Ahh, you see Anon. Flim and I have been in quite the pickle as of late. Haven't we brother?"
>"Brother....have you gone mad? The explanation you gave. It still makes no sense. Do you remember that Princess Twilight lives in Ponyville? Surely she wouldn't let this colt wield such massive power. I'd sooner believe a cursed bag over this. Can't you see he's just trying to con us?"
>"And a good con he's been playing brother. Mr. Anon here has clearly kept things under control and not done anything to raise ill will towards him. Unlike his father. But....Mr. Anon, you can't expect us to just give up the money now. I could give you back your bag if you wish. And then we can go on our own ways."
>"Sorry ratfink, I'm either going with everything or not at all. And my little buddy here is just itching to take some shots at you. So unless you have something better. I'd just drop the bits and go. Trust me, you don't want me using this thing. And you REALLY don't want me using my horn. Then it'd be like drinking water in mexico. And if you knew where I came from, you'd know that's a fate worse than death."
>>
>>26412766
>"Mr.Anon, please listen to reason. Our workers have been demanding more and more of us as we make less and less. It seems ponys don't seem to like their brutish manners despite getting their packages in on time and without issue. And brutish they are. They have threatened to destroy the store and take what's left if we don't pay them the bits they want."
"That seemed pretty fishy to me. I didn't have to think about it too long to figure out that sounded like a con. a not a particularly good one either. It was like a joke out of a joke book. It just wasn't good. Of course, what really got my oven burning was the fact that he'd think I'd fall for such malarky"
>"...you really are causing all this...aren't you?"
>"I am, come on Flim. Don't be like your brother. just put the bits down and go. We'll forget this ever happened. Trust me, you do NOT want me to use force. I don't think ponies like you are ready for things like a Cazzaclaw"
>"..I-I don't know what that is...B-but my brother speaks the truth. We are but simple business ponies at the end of our ropes. Those griffons will take everything from us if we don't pay"
"Now that Flim, he sounded much more genuine than his brother. But I wasn't no southtown hick. I knew that there was a hole in their explanation. I spit out my lolipop stick tot he side and gave them the eye of reason. Eyes that should tell them that there's no going no further."
>"Sorry to tell you this fellas. But if you needed the bits to pay them off, then you could have just given them everything else and everything would be just the same. It's not like you'd be able to run the business anymore if what you say is true. Now, last chance, the bits."
>"Mr.Anon, please understand two things. One, my brother does not like the illusion that you have created and I think he'd like you to stop. as understanding gentlecolts here. I'm sure you could do that much for us."
>"No dice, whats the other thing?"
>>
>>26412867
>"Well, the other thing is the fact that those dastardly griffons plan to take our family heirlooms as well. Generations going back to the pioneers of the craft. from our great uncle Mountebank to our great great great great great grandfather Double-dealer Mchosenmeier, Anon, we've always treated those as precious commodities. Something we'd never give away, even if the deal of the lifetime were to come upon us. It was either the money or the heirlooms. Anon, I ask you as a pony who is in desperation. please do not take the bits."
"That Flam was seeming pretty genuine. Gotta admit, even knowing what these two we're capable of. They were tugging at the right strings. But lady justice carries a fickle scale. and their words only had so much weight. And lady justice was not the time of dame you wanted to take lightly."
>"You mooks really want me to take your word for it, don't ya? But you know those bits belonged to innocent ponies who trusted in that game being legit. Gotta tell ya both, your story almost moves my heart. But not enough to just let you walk off with the goods."
>"Anon, I bow to you. Please...let us keep the bits. There is simply no other way."
>"Anon, my brother speaks to you one hundred percent truth. Let us keep the bits. and please, let us out of this infernal nightmare. I feel as if I am in a waking nightmare. And this music. it makes me feel as if I won't be leaving alive. It's docile sweet tones hide a bittersweet story of torment and woe."
>>
>>26413022
>"That's what I AM expecting. Dem's the breaks I'm sure those stained silver tongues you fellas have will keep you from being ripped to shreds. Because if you don't do it..."
"I decided to give them some real incentive. Called my good buddy Mr.Deathclaw from out of thin air. Course, I had to be real careful with this. Didn't need him causing a real commotion."
>"Hey. Mr.Deathclaw, why don't you show our friends here what will happen if they don't do the good and honest thing"
>"Gotta tell you, He sure was convincing. He took up a giant log and clawed and shaved it until it looked like the brothers. Then he crushed it to bits between those massive chompers he's got. I couldn't tell because of the lack of color. But the look of the water that was underneath them certainly wasn't clear."
>"I think they got the point, thanks for the favor">"They didn't speak a word. Was it a mistake to show them I had that kind of power? Maybe, but they knew to keep their mouth shut about it. I had to actually slap them to get them to pay attention. I guess they never seen a bruiser like a Deathclaw before. Heck, I'm sure just from knowing my thoughts that they knew to do the right thing."
>"We'll meet right in this spot in an hour or so.No tricks. Or you won't need to worry about your any more generations"
"They nodded without a word. Had to be firm with these type of ponies. Give them an inch and they will take whatever not nailed to the ground,, never mind the mile. Sad they weren't dames looking for help. But that's my life. Realistically, there's never a dame looking to be my client. And if there is, there the kind of dame you don't bring on a fishing trip unless you need an extra anchor."
>>
>>26412995
>>26413058


A post between these two got deleted.
WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKK
>>
>>26413070
ugh..i was gonna go to bed. I'm just going to rewrite the posts.
>>
>>26413083
"They went on their knees pleading. If I were any other pony, I'd just take the bits and go back to Ponyville. leave them with some creepy crawlies that would leave them scarred for the rest of their lives. But my detective instincts were itching. Made me feel their was some truth to it. But the cop part of me couldn't let these guys off scott free. Was gonna have to dissapoint the girls on this one, but my gut was telling me that I probably should have a look into things. See if these guys weren't pulling the wool over my eyes"
"I stick another cherry lolipop in my mouth and stare up into the moonlit sky. Yep, it was gonna be another one of those nights. I'll never catch a break, not while I'm doing this job."
"I take a look at the sorry state the brothers ar ein, poor slobs...well, if they were telling the truth that is. I give them an example of what's to become of them if they double cross me. heh, double cross. I'd bet that was a name of one of their ancestors."
>"......great Aunt twice removed actually"
"...right...well anyway. I crunch my lolipop into bits and spit the stick out onto Flam's mustache."
>"That's what's going to happen to you two if I find out you're lying to me. I'm still taking the bits, but if you're really telling the truth. I'll take care of your griffon problem too."
>"But how? Unless your magic can do more than just illusions, those griffons will tear you limb from limb. Surely just leaving the bits with us-"
"Put a sock in it will ya? This baby has enough magic to deal with some surly type nobodies. That includes the both of you if you're conning me, don't forget that. Now, I'm gonna go check it out and get your stuff back. I want the two of you to turn around, give those ponies those bits back, and make the cute little apple horse feel reeeaaalll special. Like she had just won the award for being the best pony ever."
>"But those ponies will surely attack us! You can't possible expe-"

This what was deleted Erf
>>
>>26412995
"Didn't really appreciate Flim's dislike of cool jazz. Made me just want to deal with them here and now. But my Detective instincts we're barking at me like a dog wanting it's steak. If there was any truth to what they said. Then it might be worth looking into. Of course, I couldn't just let them go scott free. They might try to double cross me...heh, I could bet that was probably the name of one of their ancestors"
>"Great aunt twice removed actually..."
"...right...Well, anyway. I was going to take the case. Of course, I couldn't let these mooks off scott free. Since I didn't need the cash. I wanted them to do the most honest thing they could possibly do."
>"Right fellas, this is what I want you to do. I want you to take the bits you stole and return them to the ponies in that town over there. Also, there's a cute little applehorse that I bet would feel real proud of herself if you made it look like she was the one who made you turn back to do what an honest pony would do."
>"You can't expect us to do that. Even with your magic. How can we be sure that you'd be able to solve our problem? And what about the other townsponies! They will surely rip us both apart for our less than favorable actions"
>>
>>26413091
oh thank christ...you are a life saver. let me just fix up the other post. because i missed a paste into it from the notepad from when my net went out for a little bit.
>>
>>26413091

also ignore >>26413117

>"That's what I AM expecting. Dem's the breaks I'm sure those stained silver tongues you fellas have will keep you from being ripped to shreds. Because if you don't do it..."
"I decided to give them some real incentive. Called my good buddy Mr.Deathclaw from out of thin air. Course, I had to be real careful with this. Didn't need him causing a real commotion."
>"Hey. Mr.Deathclaw, why don't you show our friends here what will happen if they don't do the good and honest thing"
"Gotta tell you, He sure was convincing. He took up a giant log and clawed and shaved it until it looked like the brothers. Then he crushed it to bits between those massive chompers he's got. I couldn't tell because of the lack of color. But the look of the water that was underneath them certainly wasn't a clear liquid."
>"I think they got the point, thanks for the favor"
"They didn't speak a word. Was it a mistake to show them I had that kind of power? Maybe, but they knew to keep their mouth shut about it. I had to actually slap them to get them to pay attention. I guess they never seen a bruiser like a Deathclaw before. Heck, I'm sure just from knowing my thoughts that they knew to do the right thing."
>"We'll meet right in this spot in an hour or so.No tricks. Or you won't need to worry about your any more generations"
"They nodded without a word. Had to be firm with these type of ponies. Give them an inch and they will take whatever not nailed to the ground,, never mind the mile. Sad they weren't dames looking for help. But that's my life. Realistically, there's never a dame looking to be my client. And if there is, there the kind of dame you don't bring on a fishing trip unless you need an extra anchor."
>>
>>26413125
http://pastebin.com/5za6wsce

11 posts tonight. with 2 fubbared extra ones.. was a little FUBAR so it might be better to read it from the pastebin. Hope I captured the Noir aspect. Part 2 will be tomorrow.

"The Two Timing Brothers and the Bad Business Caper"
>>
>>26413163
and made a few subtle edits and fixes. like making it clear the brothers pissed themselves after seeing the deathclaw.
>>
>>26413163
I liked it, it's all good
Thread replies: 164
Thread images: 24
Thread DB ID: 519890



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