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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 59
Thread images: 29
Keep it down moon horse.
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>Joakim in horseland green when?
>you are Twilight Sparkle, and you are under a big pressure, the Crystal Empire is under attack, the Yaks have declared war to Equestria
>It would not have been a big deal, but they created a special armor that is invulnerable tp magic, that really puts Equestria in disadvantage
>the Yaks know how to fight, and the ponies don't
>so you are in the library of Canterlot, looking for information on how to create war strategies
>but so far it has been useless, you haven't found anything that helps you in this fight
"what am I gonna do?!?!? This is terrible, TERRIBLE! Equestria will be destroyed, and we will be enslaved by the Yaks!!!
>" Twilight, calm down!" Spike yells to you, I am sure that we will find something."
"No Spike we won't! We are hopeless! We are no fighters, we can't possibly win against them!"
>you kick the shelf of books in your desperation, and all of them fall down
>its no use, you feel tears falling down your cheeks, its all over
>"Umm...Twilight? What is that?" Spike says in confusion
>you look towards where spike is pointing
>its looks like a book, but...its flat
>like, really flat
>it looks like a...music record?
>what the hay is that doing in here?
>you know that Vynil and Octavia have lots of those, but in a library?
>you surrounded with your magic and move it close to you
>your eyes widen and your mouth is wide open in surprise
>in huge golden letters it says Sabaton
>on the bottom of the album it says...The Art Of War...
>this...might be Equestria's salvation
>"...Twilight? What is that on the back?"
>Spike words brings you back to reallity
>you turn the album around, and the is a page, with a spell
>" a spell to travels in different dimentions?!"
>at the bottom of the page it reads; "whenever a war rises again, this spell will be thy salvation." Joakim
>...it looks like is time to call Sabaton into action

How is that for starters??
You may continue
Sweden is gay, Power Metal is gay but somehow Sabaton manages not to be turbogay, just a bit gay though.
I want to see Ozzy in Equestria green
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he shall lead them to greatness.
Alright I'll keep the green going!

>"Um twilight? Are you ok? You have been staring at that thing for like 5 minutes."
Oh! Hehe, sorry Spike, is just that I think that this is what we need to save Equestria! Aparently, tis guy named Joakim has a vast knowledge when it comes to wars and battles, and the spell that he left on the page might be the way to contact him!"
>"well, what are we waiting for?! Lets do it!" Spike says, with his eyes full of hope.
"Well, Spike, not right now, this type of magic is way to powerfull to me, we have to take it to Princess Celestia, and we will do it now."

>Be Princess Celestia
>you can't still believe that Equestria is at war...
>The Yaks didn't even had any reason to attack! You were at peace, and all of a sudden...its war...for no reason...
>"Princess Celestia! I think I have the solution to win this fight!"
>Twilight Sparkle cuts your train of tought
"A solution?! Which one?!"
>she hands you a book
>..wait that's not a book...that a music record!!
"It's this some kind of joke twilight?!"
>"N-no! Princess, Pl-please look closely!"
>you look again, still in anger
>sabaton, what is this?! And what is this page?! A spell, for what?!
"Twilight...I have no idea what this is an...
>" But we do, and Princess Twilight is right, that might be our solution to win.
"Luna? How? What?!"
>"there is no time to explain sister, I will explain everything once things settle a little bit more, but now is time for action!"
>Luna grabs the album, and rips the page from it and puts the paper on the ground
>her horn glows with such a bright that you almost go blind
>all of a sudden you hear an explosion, and it takes a few seconds to recover from the shock
>when you open your eyes again, you see this...human? Standing in the middle of the circle
"...who...who are you?"
>he looks at you, even with sunglasses on you can see that in his eyes there is a fire of determination
>"I am..burp! Joakim!"
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i guess this thread is dead?
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It´s dead when communism dies.
this is very relative to my interests
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An acceptable level of gay. Expected, given they pretty much only sing about sweaty men in uniforms
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>So this is Joakim? He is the one that is going to save Equestria? He smells like if he had lots of cider!!
>...really strong cider!
"..excuse me, Mr Joakim, but...who are you?"
He looks back at you, his eyebrows raised
>"why of course, you are the new Princess of this world! The princess of brotherhood right??"
"...friendship, princes of friendship."
>"close enough. Anyways! I am Joakim Broden, and even though I may not look like, I have a vast knowledge of war and battles from my world! And if I appeared here all of a sudden, it must mean that you guys are at war too!! So I am hede to help you guys win!!
>your ears are hurting now
>even though he is speaking it seems like he is using the canterlot royal voice
>he is so loud!
>it takes a few seconds for you to recover from the pain in your ears
>but before you can speak again, princess Luna speaks up
>"old friend, I am sorry that we brought you here with such a rush, but we can't lose anymore time, we need to to stop or at least slow down the movement of the Yaks!"
>"of course! Do you know the current location of their army purple pony??"
" the name is Twilight Sparkle...and yes, they are coming from the north, but we can't create a barrier or something like that because their armours are magic proof!"
>"no problem, we will slow them down! Princess Luna! You must go to the north and take with you as much pegasus as you can! Tell them to create a snow blizzard! The strongest one that they can! And once the snow is moving combine it with hail, this will definitely hurt them! The bigger the hail the better!!"
>with a nod and a zap, Luna dissapears, doing as Joakim told her
>now its only him, Celestia and you
>why does he looks so calm?
>does he not knows that the plan might not work?!
>...but it is a very good plan, how come you did not thought about that before?!
>"hey, Princess Twiggle Spurkle?"
"...its Twilight Sparkle..."
>"that thing, do you have some cider?"
>oh boy...
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probably the best idea i have heard in a long, long while.
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>Green camo
Do you even Sabaton?
>Not emerging on top of a tiger tank with enough flamethrowers to convert the castle to glass
>all sabaton songs reference nazis and holocaust
>unoriginal jewish metal
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But Carolus Rex and Killing ground have nothing to do with Nazis, same with the Carolean's prayer unless they were the Nazis all along
Bout to throw some green, lets see how long the thread survives.
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>get spike to grow wih greed
Goodbye yaks, enjoy burning
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>and since Luna left to the north, Joakim hasn't done anything other than drinking!
"Um, excuse Mr. Broden, but, don't you think that you had enough cider already??
>he drinks the bottle in his hand almost inmediately
>"Nonsense Princess Twaddle Sprinkle! There is no such thing as enough cider! This is the nectar of the gods!"
"Its TWILIGHT SPARKLE." you say grinding your teeth and putting on a fake smile
"And we are in the middle of a war! Do you think it is appropiate to drink that much cider!?!?"
>before you cam continue your angry speech, Luna comes back, panting, out of breath, but with a smile on her face
>"it worked! Joakim it worked! The Yaks slowed down! They could not move through the blizzard, and because of the hail they could not strike back neither!"
>"princess Luna! Take me to the place where the Yaks are!"
>huh? What's he gonna do there?
>"uh..sure! We will take you there! Princess Twilight, could you please bring blankets to us? Joakim will need them to survive the cold."
>you nod to Princess Luna, but before you leave, Joakim stops you
>"no need for blankets Princess Toggepi Twinkle! They will only serve as more weight!"
"What?!? What are you talking about?! It is freezing out there!! You will die in the cold!! What is wrong with you?!"
> before you can completely zap out, Joakim walks towards you, and kneels infront of you
>once he is at your level, he takes out his sunglasses, and sees you eye to eye
>his eyes...they look like if they have seen hell himself...
>"Young Princess, there is more in me than what meets the eye, I know is hard to understand now, but some time you will."
>..he wasn't screaming this time
>he gets up and grabs a bottle of cider and gives it to you
>why? What is he trying to...
>...it was his plan all along
>drink to keep warm in the cold

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>Princess Toggepi Twinkle
Holy kek batman thats such a perfect combo how did I never think to come up with that name!
>Be Still Twilight
>and you are currently still in awe
>all that drinking was not just for fun, he had it planned, he knew every step all along
>it might be a little unortodox, but it made sense
>"Joakim, are sure about it? You want to go without any type of cover?" Luna asks, with obious concern
>"ha! Of course I am serious! Now lets go! Princess Tadpole Spanky, come with us, I will need your help once we get there!"
>ugh...teletransportation has never beeeeOH MY GOSH IS FREEZING!!
>You make a small shield to protect you from the wind
>wait...where is Luna? And Joakim??!?
"Princess Luna where are you?!?"
>"up here young Twilight! Come with us!"
>you look up at Luna, she also has a shield to protect her from the wind
>you rise to the air and set yourself to the left side of Luna
"Princess Luna wha...oh gosh..."
>you see the army of the Yaks
>there has to be at least 5,000 Yaks in there
"They are so many! Why would they want to attack us?!
>" that is a question for later, our major concern now is the blizzard, the pegasi are starting to get tired, we won't be able to hold this for a long time."
>it was true
>the blizzard was slowly getting softer
>some pegasus got too tired, and others had their wings frozen
>it was just a matter of time for the Yaks to start moving again
>"we just hope that Joakim knows what he is doing..." Luna says, trying to stay calm, but she fails completely
>and of course! Joakim! You forgot about him! Where is he?!
>you fly back down, and start looking for him
"Joakim, where are you?! Joakim!!!
>" over here!"
>that's him!
>you run towards him, and we you find him he is just standing there, in the middle of the storm
"Joakim! what are yo-"
>"not enought time for questions! Listen well! I need you to tell all the pegasi to stop the storm now!"
"What?! But that is the only thing that is stoping the Yaks from attacking us!!
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>he looks back at you, with determination in his eyes
>you hesitate for a moment, but you do as he says
>you make a spell to amplify your voice
"Listen everypony, you need to stop the storm! NOW!"
>all the pegasi look at you like if you were crazy, but they obey, and the storm stops
>once the snow is settled, you see Joakim facing all the army of the Yacks
>the leader of the Yaks speaks up
>"get out of our way you hairless monkey! Who are you to think that you can stop the Yaks?!"
"Ha! That is funny! I was going to ask you to leave peacefully! But seems like we are going to have to do this the other way!!"
>he clicks the two upper pads that he has on his chest, and an armor starts to develop around his body
>...I guess he is really going one man army against them
"And as for my name", Joakim says
>he starts running towards them and...BOOOOM!
>With one punch, he hits the Yack and sends him flying back at least 30miles from where they came from
>the other Yaks see that, and they are in total shock
>"what happened?! Joakim shouts to them "did you guys just got frozen?!"
>he starts running towards then with an incredible speed
>that armor the he is wearing must amplify his abilities!
>he is practically taking down an entire army by himself!!
>"princess Tortilla Sprinkle!! You must take all the pegasi out of here, make sure that they are safe!!"
>...you can yell to him later, but for now he is right, you must take the pegasi out of here
"Princess Luna! We must move quickly! All the pegasi won't be able to handle the cold for much longer!"
>"right! The Crystal Empire is not far from here,we will take them there!"
>you start taking the pegasi with your magic, but before you go, you look one more time at Joakim
"Will you be fine?!"
>he looks back with a grin on his face
>"I will be ok, now go and let me kick some Yack butt!"
I hope that game gets finished. I really, truly do.
I'm surprised that game doesn't have more fan art.
Sabaton is such a shitty metal band.
Does anybody here is a drawfag? And has drawings of joakim with the pones?
I like it.

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>inb4 TheFinalSolution.mp3
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I'm not saying i assume you listen to Asking Alexandria, but i assume you're listening to Asking Alexandria.

And i'm not even a Sabatonboo.
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Better. Aparently, someone threw it on stage.
Could be faked, but in my book, i decide it's not.
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kek, it's real as fuck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UypIGHi7K4A [Embed]
>you guys are fucking crazy
Lol that is glorious, that is simply beautiful
>be Twilight Sparkle
>all the pegasi are now safe, the Crystal Empire was way closer than what you thought
>which it meant that the Yaks were really close on attacking Equestria
>"young Twilight, are you ok? You seem pretty exhausted, perhaps you should rest for a while." Luna says, in a pretty tired voice too
"No, I-Ican't, joakim is still out there, what if he needs some help??"
>all of a sudden you hear a loud BOOOM! coming from the direction where Joakim was
>"we believe he has things under control." Luna says calmy
"...I hope you are right..."
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>tfw he secretly has stashed away and watches the show regularly
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This. This should become a thing.
Every time Sabaton plays, one my little pony figure should be thrown on stage.
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>Quoting the album made entirely about that one decade in history when Sweden was in any way relevant
never heard of them
Would you rather have them make an album about when they weren't relevant?

>"Hey, what about we make an album about the Swedish Empire and Carolus Rex?"
>"Nah, let's make it about that decade in the 20 th century when nothing interesting happend"

And let's be honest, which country has been relevant for more than one decade?
Nazi Germany were relevant for little over 10 years, but is by far the most used theme in Sabatons songs.
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Roman Empire
Byzantine Empire
Ancient Egypt
Ancient Persia
Ancient China
Mongolian Empire
Span under Hapsburg
Charlemagne's empire, for 5 generations
Colonial Britain
Ottoman Empire

To name a few. And I don't want them to make songs about fuckall, I just laugh at making an entire album about one war, and just from 1 perspective.
>"A solution?! Which one?!"
I feel like there's a Hitler joke in there...
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Pls. Civilizations only become 'big' when they're gone. People then probably looked at them sort of in the way we look at modern USA, Russia or China.
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>Charlemagne's Empire
>Ottoman Empire
>Hapsburg Spain
>Victorian England
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>"A solution?! Which one?!"
How about we don't go apeshit over definitions, and conentrate on the core point the other person is trying to make.
>People then probably looked at them sort of in the way we look at modern USA, Russia or China.
Yeah, superpowers don't look quite so grand when you're there to personally witness their banality in real time, when compared to ancient empires that have been dead for a thousand years and have thousands of pages of embellished first- and second-hand records of the highlights of their existence to add to their mystique and grandeur. Who'd a thunk it?
Being? That somehow people at the time did not consider Byzantine Empire "relevant"? Or that Amerifats/Russkies are not relevant? They are doing their best damn job to stay relevant with little care to others, and for better or worse have been more influential than Sweden ever was.

What did Carolus' reign change exactly? Yes, 30-year War, the biggest conflict in the Western Europe since the, uh, you know, a 100-year War, or a couple other conflicts that included every major power there?
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