God has offered to make a deal with you. He will create intelligent multicolor ponies like the ones on the show, but in order for this to happen, this creature will come into existence with a permanent global distribution. One cannot happen without the other.
Is it worth it?
>Bring ponies into the world
>Another equality and diversity shitfest for SJWs to latch onto
>World crushed even more under the weight of another intelligent race
>Now we get to live with flying spiders
Go fuck yourself, God. This is a worse deal than what you stuck Satan with.
Oh look, a thread I can actually post this in.
I just realized: spiders probably shit. Which means that not only are people going to panic en masse when a swarm of flying wolf spiders blacken the sky, but they're literally going to get shat on, adding insult to (less than 50 cases per annum of) injurty.
Because it's spider shit. Nobody knows what it looks like. You're going to get shit on by a bunch of flying spiders and you won't even know it because nobody knows what spider shit looks like. You'll probably just flick it off without even wondering what's on your shoulder.
Even though I'm not a hypochondriac, I'm still concerned by such.
>any fucking year
>not being afraid of a creature that, depending on the variety, can either kill you in one bite, rot off whatever part was bit with one bite, give you a painful 4-hour erection until you die, etc.
>Implying God isn't really Satan saying he's god.
>Only Satan would create such a creature.
>sounds like a good way to go.
Except that it's extremely painful and is the complete opposite of sexual pleasure.
If it's some generic spider, I guess it ain't too bad, but if it's every spider than fuck no. I'd rather dream about fucking a pony then try fucking one while a Brown Recluse, a Black Widow, and a fucking Goliath are dissolving me from the insides with fucking venomous poison.
Unless I have a suit like pic related, than fuck that. That's not even God, that's fucking Satan right there, fuck that.
>implying spiders will just fly into humans for no fucking reason
>implying spiders wouldn't just fuck off away from potential threats even faster with the ability to fly, minimizing the necessity to bite motherfuckers in self defense
Easy choice. Mosquitoes on suicide watch.
Not in a million years.
No amount of happiness in the world is enough to make me want to deal with that absolute monstrosity. That thing is proof that God is dead and evolution killed him.
Technically spiders already can fly.
You never watched that movie of Charlotte's web? That's how they travel around, btw.
I say technically because they need the proper wind conditions, to make a web and shit.
You get it all wrong my friend
Just imagin siting on a hill with your waifu snuggled into your chest, watching the world burn
>All these people scared of nothing
>permanent global distribution
There are already spiders across the globe. When have any of you actually seen a tarantula outside of a pet store? Those wings wouldn't allow flight anyways.
No, no thank you. I'm fine with spiders as they are, and have had a pet tarantula before.
We are able to have such a beautiful relationship because any spider I'm willing to keep cannot get on my eye level.
this, plus we would be have a species war against pony's. you think magical creatures would put up with our shit and we humans wouldn't try learning their secrets or just treat them as slaves, or vise versa. It would not end well.
>You're having sex with your waifu.
>After all this time you smile with content as you fill her with your seed for the 15th time.
>Yeah you had a lot of endurance and she was a fucking goddess.
>As you slowly release your member from her vagi-grip you see something stick out of her cum-filled mare-vag
>Oh for fucks sake not again.
>Hundreds of those flying fuckers swarm out of her and crawl around her private parts...
>It hurts having large flying tarantula's inside your penis scuttling away and reproducing.
>But you did it for your waifu.
>You did it for her...
That's a huntsman with wings.
They're big, but completely harmless kawaii little friends.
I don't even need pones, these true bros will get rid of all the flies, mosquitos and annoying screen bugs in my room, since I have at least a dozen of these guys hanging around the house at any time.
Oh i'm wrong, it has 2 eyes.
It's a wolf spider
I got a hunch that this Anon is a spider.
I won't deny that they're bros, in fact if I was allowed to make friends with a critter it'd be a spider. But I'm always nervous of the chance of getting bit by the few that have the toxins to melt a small crater in your leg or something.
Yeah, it's utter fucking bullshit that these small fingernail sized black dimes can take down a fucking horse with one bite. What kinda twisted bullshit is that. I get the idea of self defense, but spiders can't even eat an entire human, why should they be able to slay one so easily?
Some spiders are cool, but some are assholes. Don't fucking cross over my keyboard while I'm eating, swear that pisses me off. Then they wonder why I rape their children.
Only 0.07% of all spider species has killed a human.
Pls don't rape your little friends.
I'm the only person in my family who likes spiders, and those would be amazing. I've held tarantulas before, and I'd definitely have a flying one as a pet. The pones would just be extra.
God is real?
I would say "Do eeet!" just that he could prove he is god or some other kind of supernatural being.
So many people here being freaked out by spiders. Wouldn't be much of a difference if they are able to fly. Already now they are hanging and crawling over our heads. They also float in the air. Besides that spiders aren't looking for direct contact with humans and do their own business.
Heck I even am happy if there are spiders in my room, dealing with insects. If they would be able to fly they are even more effective. I can't kill flies just because they are annoying. But I crush mosquitoes because these shits attack me.
Of course another intelligent and civilised creature would be nice too. It would destroy the world even faster but whatever. They maybe would be able to end terror and war. The rest of our time on earth would be shorter but happier too.
Pretty sure with ponies and magic, they'd be able to wipe out the spiders.
That, or if we asked Fluttershy REALLY nicely, she'd make them all go away.
Try harder OP.
Sure, it's not like you can't trust a spider or something.
Totally legit bros.
Bloody hell yes it's worth it !
It's going to suck to share the planet with ponies, but it's a very small price to pay to make these beauties a reality.
I'll keep one as a pet and call it Myrtille, fuck now i'm sad it won't happen until i get my degree in genetic engineering. Fuck you OP.
>Wish for pic related
>Get pone and spider protection
FIGHT ME, GOD
Sure I'd take that deal, I don't see too many downsides, I mean how often do you see spiders anyways?
I bug bomb my house fairly frequently so them being In my house wouldn't be a problem and if it was, I'm sure I could kill the spiders pretty easily, I'm like 10 times it's size, just becuase they can now fly doesn't change anything.
Plus to add on to this most spiders don't possess venom potent enough to kill a full grown man, black widows mainly. on the norm they can kill a child or possibly an elder, seldom a healthy adult man. The only 2 spiders to really watch out for are 1. a brown recluse, not becuase they're deadly per say but because the bite rots away your skin something nasty, but if I did happen to get bit by one, it's incredibly easy to run to the local clinic and get an anti venom to stop the venom. 2nd spider to watch out for is the brizialian wandering spider, now that shit will kill your ass faster than you can cry for help, but since it's pretty much a spider indigionious to Brazil, I'm not too worried ( I guess if you live in Brazil this deal might have you thinking more)
But these are all minute roadblocks for being able to snuggle with my pony waifu
Shout out to you god!
Some of the worst hallucinations I've ever had have involved spiders. So nah.
I fucking love nature sometimes. The shit it comes up with is insane.
Jesus Christ, you people are such pussies. Who the fuck is afraid of spiders? Spiders can't hurt you. Plus they can already fly by using strands of web and stuff. Why would giving them wings turn something that is not scary into something that is? Stop being afraid of spiders, idiots.
Yes, this is absolutely worth it.
Why does it have to be spiders?
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS?
I'm going to go with no. Sure multicolored horses will exist, but there's no guarantee they'd want anything to do with me. If humans are any indicator, odds are, no.
If pone came into existance, and I'd get my lovely pone waifu, then I'd say yes. She doesn't like spiders either; we could cower in each other's arms at least.
Fuck that. Fucking wasps made mud grenades filled with spiders being ready to get deployed in swarms.
What kind of sadistic fuck would design such lethality for insects? Fucking satan's bullshit ass.
God is no wishing well.
In fact, in none of the world's religion is any deity a wishing well. They make stuff happen but not like a fucking genie.
What you're describing isn't God but Satan or any other demon granting wishes immidiately.
I'll take this moment to add that some people are born that way. Arachnophobia is something you can't just up and 'deal' with. It's even in the movie of the same title, the dude says that he isn't 'scared' of spiders, but when one is around him freely he just can't move at all.
Being afraid of something that can kill you is like, instinct.
Good thing that they aren't as horny as dolphins. Would you imagine waking up each morning with a thousand little fuckers humping you senseless?
Wait a second let me whack off to that thought
Its an irrational fear by any definition, and i think that most people with arachnophobia realize its irrational, but its a fear nonetheless
Its kinda like as kids when we would run up the stairs away from a dark basement, we always knew there was nothing to be scared of, and people would tell us that there was nothing to be scared of, but we still sprinted up the stairs nontheless
>You finally have that spare time with your favorite pony
>He/she says that wants to go into the next base of relationship
>Bends over and is showing his ponut/her marevag at you
>You are prepared
>Suddenly you heard a buzz
>Jesus no it was all a trap
>From inside your favorite pony, a lot of flying spiders crawl outside his ponut/her marevag
>You watch in horror as he/she cums more of the ungodly creatures
>Your favorite pony starts singing itsy bitsy spider as the spiders crawl into your dick and inside your urethra
If this cuttie comes with all the spiders, then i acept the contract.
Nigga you can't train a tarantula. The way they make them move in a direction is by blowing air at them through a straw. The tarantula reacts by shying away from it, just like if you poked it.
Have you so soon forgotten?
Spiders can already glide.
Soon, they'll simply evolve wings...
>Its kinda like as kids when we would run up the stairs away from a dark basement
You dont need to lie , anon. We all try to out run that invisible thing that starts sprinting at us from the far side of the basement when the light goes out. Just don't trip.
Haha alright Anon you got me there, toche, good sir, toche
But seriously what the fuck is it about the whole situation, I never undertook why I we have the compulsion to run, I'm sure it's evolutionary to some degree but I can't quite put my finger on the source
If they're edible then that would be pretty swish. How much protein is in a fried spider?
To be fair, spiders are far too stupid to be afraid of anything. They simply act on impulse and impulse alone. If a spider bites you, it's not because that's what it decided to do, it's because that's what it's neural programing told it to do.
Saying anything else is a whimsical over personification.
I present to you on of the most kawaii spiders on Earth. The portia jumping spider.
Capable of complex learning and problem solving, and having some of the most intelligent hunting behaviours observed.
Most species of jumping spiders are smart cookies too, they are the Border Collies of the arachnid world.
They're still pants on head retarded when you compare them to most mammals. They just have a much more adaptive neural matrix than other spiders do that allow their instincts to be applied more flexibly. That and they have the advantage of having better base instincts to use as a starting point for trial and error behaviors, which includes backing off if shit gets heavy, so that they can do it slightly diffrently until they get what they want.
Still, I need you the point that some spiders are much more intelligent than people will give them credit for.
But they learn anon, they learn and they remember.
So be nice to them and maybe they will give you presents.
>Not read Zones Of Thought
>Not reading Deepness In The Sky that is literally about autism and giant space spiders
>Not reading Fire Upon The Deep which is about transient hyper intelligent beings and hive mind puppies
>Not reading Children Of The Sky which is about kids and hive mind puppies and the hive mind puppies industrial revolution
Definitely recommend it by the way. Just look up Zones of Thought by Vernor Vinge
>inb4 the unspoken twist of the deal with God is that the spiders are just as intelligent as the Ponies or the Humans
>inb4 we all learn to tolerate each other enough to become spacefaring and take over the universe while we silently mutter slurs at each other
For me it's specifically on stairs. I usually run up steps and for what ever reason the combination of darkness and running makes something click in my hind-brain. I guess to my instincts dark + running = running FROM something. Other than on the steps i can putter about in the dark all night and it won't spook me.
That's a wolf spider, and it has 8 eyes like most other spiders.