>"Must you always insist on coming over? Lyra isn't even here right now. Why do you visit us? You don't even come here for the candy I make so what the hell do you want, human?"
"oh, nothing important! These helium tanks I brought with me are just for show!"
You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! And you can give me some fucking candy: fucking swizzle sticks, fucking gumdrops, fucking peppermints, fucking candy canes! Four fucking rows of chocolates!
And I really don't care for the way your roommate left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with a fucking box of fucking candy that was fucking empty. And I really didn't care to fucking walk all the way across fucking Ponyville on my fucking feet to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want some fucking candy RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
>go to equestria
>all will be good now
>summin aint right
>all the ponies are mean to you
>back home, everyone just ignored you
>here, they actively seek you out and insult you
>want to buy some candy
>get hurt by the sweet mare with the razorclaw-like personality
time to see pinkie about those bottles for her balloons, eh?
This is by far the shittiest meme I've ever seen on this board.
>Sticking helium tanks into ponies
Is this thread going where I think it's going?
Hold up anon.
There is a pretty fine line between Balloon and then there's...
The only pone that has done that is Ponk.
>You don't even come here for the candy I make
I'm here for a different kind of candy.
"But I did come here for the can-"
>She slams the door in your face
>Your outstretched hand recedes and you count the bits in it
>Definitely enough for some of her candy
>You knock on the door again
>"Just get out!"
>She opens the door
>There's no Lyra
>Just some bits in your palm
>She glances towards your hand
>Reaches out a hoof
>And slaps the coins to the ground
>"I said you didn't come here for the candy. Now get out."
"But I have the money to pay-"
>"No one wants your money. No one wants to deal with you."
>She glances around
>"I don't even want to be seen with you. Just leave."
>You kneel down and pick up the bits
>Why was she so mean?
>Why are all the ponies so mean?
>It's nothing like you thought it would be
>Maybe you'll come back tomorrow and try again
>You've heard her candy was pretty good
>But Sugarcube corner can do for now, you guess
>So you stroll onwards, trying to ignore the "Faggot!" and "Loser!" that ponies shout your way
>They're just having fun
>Your friends did the same, too
>It's all in good fun, right?
>The doorbell rings when you open the door
>All the ponies turn to face you
>You feel their seething gazes on you, prickling your skin as you walk to the counter
>Nicest pony in town
>You return a light wave
>Mr Cake's voice rings out from the kitchen
>"Is it that weirdo again?"
>"Just shoo him away, Pinkie."
>She turns towards you and points towards the door
>"Sorry, but Mr. Cake said so."
>Not just from the tables around you
>Even Pinkie is laughing at you
>What has gone wrong with the world?
"I just want some of those tanks for ball-"
>"Hellooo? Did you hear me? Outy outy!"
>She jabs her hoof towards the door
>Maybe you'll come back later
>You shuffle out, and feel the splat of a cupcake against the side of your face
>It felt deformed
>Like it was half-eaten
>The CMC high five each other
>Just another day, you suppose
Had a good start but the feels but they sorta got cheap near the end, if you could have shown pinkie having reluctance in sending anon out or being nicer to anon that would have kept it a bit more interesting, but otherwise it was pretty good
>Go full edgelord.
>Plant jimmy rigged bombs in several key areas.
>Even if only a quarter of them work, it'll be worth it.
>Take down a lot more buildings than you expected.
>How feel, knowing you snapped and killed many of your bullies?
I'm Anon, the real deal, right down to the marrow of my bones
Don't lump me together with her faggot ass sex toys
"Oh sorry, looks like there are still some left."
Jesus Christ Anon.
That's hitting pretty close to home
>Kill everyone you can in Equestria
>Not just the stallions, but the mares and the foals too!
>She doesn't even recognize you as a sapient being.
>Banish her to the sun.
>Luna back to the moon.
>Discord to the whoopie cushion.
>Let Tirek out just to kill him too.
>Done with Equestria.
>Wonder if older dragons are harder to kill.
That's a fucking kick in the balls.
well done, hurt like hell, but well done
I want this to be like when king DDD bottled his anger up and kept absurdly calm and polite.
Until he had a mental breakdown
Make those ponies be nice to you, they dont deserver kindness
"Look, I'll level with you. One of my favorite pastimes back home was going to a place where people weren't afraid to call another out for their shortcomings, where everyone could freely be brutally honest, where slurs were practically friendly greetings."
"As much as I love this whole 'being accepted entirely by my friends' thing, I can only take so much of this saccharine crap at once. I come here because you're the only one willing to be brutally upfront and insult me."
>"O-oh. I had no idea it meant so much to you. I-I sort of enjoy our... conversations too. I'll make sure to insult you all the time then, human."
"Oh God, not you too. Stop being so understanding. Call me a faggot. Call me a fucking cock-sucking nigger faggot!"