>You're such a little fucking bitch, Anon! >I

>>26123818
At least I'm not the "bitch" in bed.

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>>26123818

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Come at me, pone.

my little bitch
i used to wonder who could be so cunty
my little bitch
until i met a pony named dashie

>>26123818
>One boop later RD was writhing on the ground.

>>26123818
I just had turtle soup, it was delicious.

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>>26123880
D-dude that's a little harsh....

I PLAYED COLLEGE BALL YA KNOW!
COULD'VE GONE PRO IF I HAVEN'T JOINED THE NAVY!

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>>26123916
Here, have this tortoise. I won't let that mean Anon take this one

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>>26123880

>>26123916
You suck in bed, can even last 10 minutes.

Good luck. Unlike your pitiful Karate, I know Yang-style Tai Chi Chuan and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (plus a little self-taught Metal Gear CQC). I hope you've still got plenty of Daring Do books to read up on because I'm gonna be putting you back in the hospital.

>No Navy Seal copypasta yet
You disappoint me, /mlp/.

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>>26123818

>>26123818
What's this you've said to me, my good friend? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and Ive been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in the entire neighborhood. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth. Don't you think you might be hurting someone's feelings saying that over the internet? Think about it, my friend. As we speak I am contacting my good friends across the USA and your P.O. box is being traced right now so you better prepare for the greeting cards, friend. The greeting cards that help you with your hate. You should look forward to it, friend. I can be anywhere, anytime for you, and I can calm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my chess set. Not only am I extensively trained in conflict resolution, but I have access to the entire group of my friends and I will use them to their full extent to start our new friendship. If only you could have known what kindness and love your little comment was about to bring you, maybe you would have reached out sooner. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now we get to start a new friendship, you unique person. I will give you gifts and you might have a hard time keeping up. You're finally living, friend.

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I just coughed into the bong, relax I'll pack a new one your weed is shit today anyway.

>>26123818
Ten minutes later, Anon and Rainbow Dash would be simultaneously sent to the hospital.
Anon's foot was caught in Rainbow's cunt, and hoof was stuck in his mouth.
Residents who witnessed them couldn't stop laughing.

DASH!!! Dude, chill out. She wasn't even good. You know you're the best and you always will be. Now GET OVER HERE! *throws chain dagger*

>>26124248
Shit weed or not, that's still a party foul.

You can kick my ass, but at least I'm not an ass.

I'd let Rainbow Dash kick my ass any day.

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>>26123818

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>>26124242

>>26123818
"If i wasn't a pacifist I'd kick your ass"
>"you're only a pacifist because you're a pussy"
"guess who isn't a pacifist anymore?"

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>>26123818
>"ILL GET YOUR NUMBER EVENTUALLY RAINBOW!"
>"IM A LOVER NOT A FIGHTER"

>>26123818
>"You're such a little fucking bitch, Anon!"
>"I should kick your ass!"
>RD say while posing what you could only was her fighting stance.
"E-Excuse me?"
>"You told everypony that I sleep with stuffed animals!"
"Well don't you?"
>"I'm a laughing stock!"
>RD swings her hooves at you.
"HEY! Shit!"
>She's faster than she looks.
>"I'll kill you!"
"Jesus Christ! It's no big dea-"
>A swift blow to the nose sends you to the floor.
"WTF YOU PSYCHOTIC BITCH!? THAT FUCKING HURT!"
>RD jump on to your chest and starts ramming your face.
>"It better fucking hurt! You told Pinkie Pie who told the rest of Ponyville! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR IT!"
>You manage to push her off your chest and get back on your feet.
>Blood is dripping down your nose onto you shirt.
"That's it. You wanna fucking go!? LET'S DO THIS!"
>RD Dashes towards you.
>You swing your fist making direct contact with her face.
>The momentum of her dash towards you and the swing of your arm is enough to send her crashing to the floor.
"Bitch, you're not the only one who can throw a punch!"
>RD is laying on the floor, covering her face with her hooves.
>"I fucking hate you..."
>You can hear her voice starting to crack up.
>Blood and tears running down her hoof covered face.
>That was easy...
>You actually start feeling bad now.
>"ANON!"
"Huh?"
>You look behind you.
>Twilight is starring in shock.
>"WHAT DID YOU DO ANON!?"
"She started it!"
>You protest while poingint to your bloody nose
>"I don't care WHO started it, Anon! You don't hit a mare!"
"Well if she want to act like a man-er-stallion, I'm gonna treat her like one!"
>"I-I'm calling the police!"
>HereWeFuckingGo.jpg

>>26127499
cont.?

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>>26127499
>implying RD wouldn't just beat your fat ass

>>26127546
nice projection

>>26127499
Will there be more?

>>26127614
Unless someone wishes to continue it, not likely.
I'm not a writefag. I have just about zero writing skills.

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>>26123818
Shut up before you get stomped out by yellow quiet again

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>>26123941

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>>26123818
Bring it, you egotistical cyan cunt. Always talking shit. Fuckin' "Anon can't color inside the lines". Fuck you, bitch, at least I keep trying.

>>26123818
I'm not even a fighter, or good at fighting, or in shape even, but I'm pretty sure I can beat the shit out of Rainbow Dash.

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>>26127499
>You don't hit a mare!

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>>26123818
BRING IT ON

>>26127499
"Twilight NO!"
>You try to stop her, but she dashes off to god knows where.
>Shit...
>Ponies are a lot faster than you are.
"Oh shit..."
>You walk back to check on RD.
>She's still on the floor trying to hold back tears.
"Are you okay?"
>"Fuck you..."
>She lightly sobs.
"Look... I-I'm sorry."
>...
>You crouch down to try to get a better look at the damage.
"Rainbow...?"
>...
>"FUCK YOU ANON!!"
>Like the hammer of dawn she gives you a mighty kick to the crotch.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUU"
>A bolt of pain sheers through your body!
"YOU. FUCKING. CUNT."
>You screech in sheer pain.
>"Serves you right! Faggot!"
>RD gets to her hooves.
>You can tell she's not done yet.
>But you can't move or do anything about it.
>The pain is too much! Can't move.
>"What's wrong Anon!? Can't take getting hit by a girl!? Pussy!"
"Fuck you cunt!"
>"What the fuck did you say!?"
>RD tackles you to the ground.
>"Call me a cunt one more time!"
>You desperately try to get her off you.
>You're a lot bigger than her, so you try to grab her anyway you can.
>You grab her head with one hand and the other you grab what you thought was her leg.
>"EEEP!"
>The mare yelps.
>You manage to toss her to the side!
>She surprisingly light.
>...
>Getting back to your own feel you can't help but notice that your hand is wet.
"Blood? No... What the fuck is this!?"
>"THERE HE IS!"
"Twilight?"
>Twilight returns with a couple a guards.
>Rainbow Dash on the floor covered with blood and holding her crotch.
>"Anon! What have you done!?"

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>>26127733
Oh no, dont you dare to turn it into you son of a

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>>26127733

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>>26127733
Here we go again

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>>26127733
Doesn't take a genius to figure out what's all over his hand.

>>26127733
"What have I done!? What about the fuck SHE did!?"
>"HE FUCKING RAPED ME!?"
>wut?
>"HE RAPED ME!"
>RD shouting to Twilight.
"WTF!? I NEVER EVEN TOUCHED YOU--"
>Oh.. OH!!
>That's what that was!? Fucking disgusting!
>"He WHAT!?"
>Twilight is even more pissed then before.
"NO! I NEVER- I MEAN I DIDN'T MEAN TO-"
>The guards spring into action, effectively restraining you.
"Twilight! You have got to listen to me! I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING!"
>"Please Anon. Save it for court!"
>And with that, the guards drag you away.
>...
>It's been just under 6 hours since you been arrested.
>For a crime you didn't--or at least didn't mean to--commit.
"..."
>"Mr. Anonymous, you have a visitor."
>One of the guards guided you to a small room down the hall from where your cells was.
>For the past 6 hours, you've slowly lost you will to give a fuck.
>You were going to be charged with assault AND rape.
>RD is one of Twilight's closest friends so of course they are going to take her word over yours.
>You're fucked.
>At least it can't get any worse...
>"Rainbow Dash wishes to speak to you"
>Or maybe it can...

>>26127915
>RD's sitting on the other side of a glass window.
>Small holes are drilled into the glass so you two can hear each other.
>You take your seat, getting yourself ready for the torment.
>RD is the type to really rub shit in your face when given the opportunity.
"Hey..."
>"Hey. I hope you didn't drop the soap while in there!"
"haha... Fucking funny."
>You feel the rage building up inside you.
>"Looks like I win! Faggot!"
>Your rage is boiling!
>"You'll be going away for a long time!"
>...
>Something about the statement calmed your rage.
>Instead, a sudden realization.
>You were about the face some heavy charges.
>Fear starts creeping in!
>"What's wrong fuckboy? You scared!?"
"Help me..."
>"Huh?"
"Rainbow Dash! You know just as well as I do that I didn't "rape" you! And you were the one who started the fight!"
>"YOU STARTED IT BY TALKING TO PINKIE PIE ABOUT MY STUFFED ANIMALS!"
"Please Rainbow Dash! I... I really don't want to be locked up... I'm already having a hard time adjusting to this new world."
>"..."
"I'm... I'm begging you! Please drop the charges! I just can't take it! I'M TOO YOUNG! I JUST WAN-"
>"Alright."
"Huh?"
>"I'll drop the charges."
"R-Really??"
>"Seeing you this pathetic is satisfying enough."
>"But there are some conditions!"
"...conditions?"
>Somehow, I don't like the sound of that...

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>>26127915
>The guards spring into action, effectively restraining you.

But you refuse.

>RULES OF NATURE INTENSIFIES

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>>26127923
So pathetic

>>26127923
THIS IS A WORLD OF FUCKING MAGIC
THEY DON'T HAVE MIND-READING SPELLS TO PROVE WHETHER OR NOT ANON OR RAINBOW DASH IS TELLING THE TRUTH!?

>>26127923
If this is not a ruse that will let Anon rage-rape RD in public for maximum humiliation I'm done with this story.

>>26127915
This is sadly accurate. People talk about how oppressed women are, then let them wail on a man free of charge. I've seen a video where a cop was standing right next to a woman slapping a man and didn't do shit til the man fought back.

>>26128202
Not in the show. Besides, why isn't everyone in court strapped into a lie detector?

>>26128223
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT
ANON SHOULD DEMAND THE PONY EQUIVALENT OF A POLYGRAPH

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>>26128223
Because lawyers make even Satan himself weep.

>>26128262
Even Phoenix Wright?

>>26128289
Of course not.
Phoenix knows what's up.