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>be new years
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 38
Thread images: 11
>be new years
>whole family over to celebrate with a barbecue
>be me
>ponysexual 22 year old man child who should have moved out ages ago
>6 gigs of pony porn on my phone because i thought I didn't give a fuck, and clopping at the computer sucks. Wallpaper is pic related.
>no password when i'm at home because typing it every time is annoying
>forget my phone in the kitchen after leaving my cave and scrounging for burgers and stuff
>hear groans and then silence among the nonstop laughter from the party through the wall, figure someone made a shitty joke and continue typing away in my neet horse chat room
>hear footsteps stomping toward my room
>knocks followed by "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A BUNCH OF BESTIALITY ON YOUR PHONE ANON?"
>entire family thought it would be hilarious to see who texts me and what pictures I take
>entire family got a face full of crotchtits and pony vag.

My parents are still confused and worried wanting me to seek therapy, my cousins, aunts and uncles all think I'm a sick fuck, and my grandmother thought it was hilarious. How do I convince them not to set me up with some shrink and waste a bunch of money?
>>
>>26085762
show them the community of horsefuckers that you come from. maybe then they wouldn't think it is so weird.
>>
>>26085762

>6 gigs of porn
>on a non-password protected, non-biometric ally locked mobile device

Nobody is that retarded. Nice b8 though OP.
>>
You're so full of shit.
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>>26085798
You'd be surprised at what people keep on their phones
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>>26085762
They only have themselves to blame, really.

Since they know, time to break out your wallet and gear up with Bad Dragon dildos and plushes.

When they comment, tell them it is their own fault- had they not gone snooping through your shit, you wouldn't have dared to get any of the stuff, but since they know, why should you even bother trying?

Make sure to make a fuckton of noise with your future Mary or Sugar Star. Make the 'SHLURP SHLUCK SHLURK' a fucking nightmare sound for them, to remind them of their sin.

Whinny occasionally while fucking it, then immediately increase the pace.
>>
>>26085762


Something similar happened to me although it was all 3d horses. Just said I'm interested in them which is true.


Just say you want to be a vet.
>>
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>>26085762
>My grandmother thought it was hilarious.

Your grandmother knows what's up.

Also, you're a grown-ass man. You don't have to go to any shrink if you don't want to.
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>>26085762
You should have told them you keep it in case some asshole decides to snoop through your phone.
>>
>>26085762

>22 year old man
>should have moved out ages ago
>I'm 25 years old
>still living with parents

Well, at least with my job I can buy a lot of shit and my parent don't complain because a help with the tax
>>
>>26085798
Not OP here. I'm as retarded as that. I just keep a single 0 byte .nomedia file in the same folder where all my porn is. I feel safe enough.
>>
>>26085798
I have about a gig on mine. Some people don't sit at a computer all day and still want a good fap
>>
>>26086482
I save everything as a favorite/bookmark link. There's nothing saved per se, just linked in a not-hard-to-access folder on my phone.
>>
I have some porn on my phone, but I also have credit card info on it. I treat it like a piece of classified info and never leave it alone.
>>
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>>26085879
This. They have committed the final error.
>>
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>>26085911
>9/11 get
>posting twilight kek
>giving a good advice
I like you
>>
>>26085762
Your grandmother is the only cool member of your family, sounds like. You should get in tight with her and convince her to leave everything to you when she goes to Equestria.

If you gotta chow some dusty taco somewhere along the line...
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>>26085833
>>26085762
>>26085805
>>26085798

I got about 1.3gb of Pony porn. No pass on my phone at all.

Too lazy. But I'm a grown man with my own house and a full career, so I'm good.
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>>26085762
>6 gigs of pony porn on my phone because i thought I didn't give a fuck, and clopping at the computer sucks. Wallpaper is pic related.
>no password when i'm at home because typing it every time is annoying
>forget my phone in the kitchen after leaving my cave and scrounging for burgers and stuff
>>
>>26085762
Also give us a link to the crotch tits pic they saw
>>
>>26085762
>they want to know what you like
>they find out
>they don't like it
tell them to go fuck themselves for looking into your private life and in the future to not ask questions they don't want to know the answer to.

except for Grandma. go share all your filth with her.
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>>26086790
>chow some d u s t y t a c o
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>>26085762
>>26086453
>>26086482
>not saving all your porn as faves on DB
>>
>>26087883
the internet stability struggle man. got to be prepared.

That being said. External Hard Drive with a stabby thing next to it. good 'nuff
>>
>>26088568
I just have my stuff in a hidden folder in ~.
If you're on a Mac or using Linux, just type "mv {folder} .{folder}" into the command line and it'll automatically hide it for you. Any time you want to access it, just type "open .folder" on OS X, or access it through the file browser of your choice on Linux.

On Windows, fuck if I know. Mobile, same thing.
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>>26088568
>the internet stability struggle man. got to be prepared.
>>
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>>26088717
nigga that guy is apocalypse level of prepped
>pic related
>>
>>26085762
>clopping at the computer sucks
>as opposed to clopping in teeny-weeny eyestrain-o-vision on your phone
>>
>>26090123
that's all you need. pinch zoom and fanfic in one hand in bed. Cant beat it.
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>>26090237
>Cant beat it.
You obviously can.
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>>26085762
Do what I did. Tell them that you email it to people to fuck with them using fake email addresses. That you keep a large photo bank of the stuff because it's fun as hell to send people mass amounts of it and watch them freak out.
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>>26085762

Just say that they violated your privacy by snooping on your phone.

Find the legal documents that describe my statement, print it and show it to your family and threaten to sue the cocksucker who initiated this privacy breach.


You could seek retribution by sabotaging family events like bdays, get togethers etc. Make them rue the day they fucked with ya.

Or just tell your family ( i mean the people that were at your party) that if they make fun of you, harass you, judge you. Online. Then you can fuck their lives up
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>>26090258
Bruh...
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>>26090360

Nobody should feel resentment amongst family members.
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>>26090360
This guy gets it.
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>>26090360
top kek
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>>26090288
That is what I said to my mother when she found my /d/ folder. To my surprise, it worked and I got off with no consequences.
>>
>>26086482
But why don't you just create a file on your phone with all the links? Then it would at least require more than minimal effort to find it.
Thread replies: 38
Thread images: 11
Thread DB ID: 431545



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