ButtQuest! (the CYOA) - Day 2 pt. 2

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>>26080948
>Currently it’s late afternoon o’clock
>It’s almost dinnertime
>You have a few options for today’s schedule

>You can go visit Shelly.
>According to what she was saying, she is probably exploring the shopping strip with her armed escort
>Maybe even shopping
>You can hang out with her briefly

>You can also just skip on over to Grillby back at the hotel diner.
>You did promise to help him out with Cadance, after all.

>Finally, you have time to swing by the shop and browse if you’d like.
>You currently have 3 Jollybux to your name

>What’s your plan?

Lets go meet up with Shelly, anything we can learn about the guards will help our Luna mission.

>>26080958
Shelly time mother fucker

>>26080958
>Shelly
>Shelly
>Shelly

>>26080958
WHAT A DIFFICULT CHOICE BETWEEN SHELLY AND SHELLY.

>>26080958
We'll have to chat with Grillby at some point.

>>26081015
Dinner probably. Hell, we share a hotel room.

>>26080958
SHELLY
H
E
L
L
Y

>>26081023
That's Griz not Grillby.

Shelly belly

>>26080958
>skip on over to Grillby
So that means we can spend time with both Shelly and Grillby

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>>26080974
>>26080979
>>26081036
>>26080984
>>26081156
>>26080965

>You decide to actually hang out with Shelly
>”Dude, you’re gonna hang out with her?”
“Of course!”

>He scratches his head and sighs
>”Man, Dad warned me about this… Listen, I know you like LIKE her-“
>Your mind wanders at the thought
>You try to not get flustered
>And fail
“I-I d-do NOT LIKE like her, I-“
>Griz raises his talon to you
>”No. You like her. You like her a lot. Just promise me you won’t forget who your bro is, okay?”

>He sounds incredibly serious…
“Griz… I’d never do that. I promise.”
>”Heh… Yeah, I’d figure. Now go to her.”
>He begins pushing you away
“Hey! What give?”

>”I’m not gonna stop you now. Go oh! Go hang out with the filly!”
“What about you?”
>”I’ll be at the diner. Just to talk things over with Grillby for a bit, I guess”

>…

>You find yourself walking the strip
>You didn’t think this through…
>After wandering for a bit
>Something clicks
>Something in the air, maybe?
>It tells you to look to your-

>There, in the scarves and scrolls shop
>You see Shelly
>Her guard escort is looking at various scrolls
>But Shelly herself seems to be browsing scarves
>She puts one away and sighs
>Then she grabs another, passing her hooves over it, and carefully picking up the price tag
>With a single look, she scoffs and puts it back on the shelf
>Then she repeats this process again

>She hasn’t noticed you yet
>What should we do?

>>26081332
sneak up behind her and ask if we can help her find anything as if we're an employee.

-
Can jollybucks buy scarves?

>>26081332
Sneak up on her from behind.
Poke her butt.

>>26081351
Jollybux are legal tender everywhere in Equestria

>>26081332
Do Jollybux work in normal stores?

>>26081332
Hi Shelly. How's it going?

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>>26081332
Griz ain't gotta worry. We bros.

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>>26081351

>You boop her butt with a hoof
>"EEP!"

>She rockets upward into the ceiling
>And falls unceremoniously back down onto the shop’s floor
>With a slight bounce, she readjusts herself
>Her ire quickly disappears when she sees your familiar face.
>”Quick! Geeze, can’t you say ‘Hi’ like a normal pony?”

>>26081393
“Well alright,”
>You clear your throat, and mimicking a robot you iterate
“HEL-LO SHEL-LEE. HOWS IT GO-ING”

>She giggles at your display, and counters with
>”Quickie, Shut Down!”

>You droop over, making making a lowering BZZ sound
>As much as she enjoys this, you snap bak up and look at the scarf in her hooves

>>26081364
“So...”

>You put your hooves behind your back and strike a gentlepony pose
“How may I assist you today, young filly?”
>”Huh?”
“What’s with the scarf?”

>"Oh, this? I wanted to buy it, but..."

>Her gaze falls to the floor
>"I haven;t seen Dad all day."
>She shakes her head, and reassures you quickly
>"I-I mean he's probably just... Busy, right? I'm not worried."

>She wraps the scarf around her neck and nuzzles into it, a small smile creeping across her face.
>Then it falls.
>She tenderly unwraps the scarf and begins folding it.

>She looks at it wantingly, but she sighs and places it back on the shelf
>”It’s nothing Quickie. Just browsing. I was gonna head to dinner with the Guards later. Did you want to come with me?”

>What would you like to say?

>>26081648
Use the JOLLYBUX
Summon the mother to complete the purchase.

>>26081648
Okay, ill catch up to you in a second.

Buy the scarf once she's gone, then run to catch up. Put it on her saying she looked cold.

>>26081670
This, but wrap it around the both of you.

>>26081670
This is smooth as fuck

We should attempt it but fuck up some how.

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>>26081670
>>26081659
>>26081688
>>26081782

>You think about what she was doing
>Eyeing that scarf so lovingly
>Nuzzling into it
>And that abject sadness when she had to put it back…

>She’s probably cold
>You know what to do
>She’d look super cute in it, too

“Sure, I’d love to come with you. But… I need to see something first.”

>”Uhh… Alright?”

>Shelly trots out of the store
>The second she rounds the corner, you grab a scarf from the rack and rush up to the front of the store
>”Hello sir, how may I-“
“Do you take Jollybux here?”
>”What?”

>You place a Jollybuck onto the cashier’s counter
“I wanna buy this”
>You hold the scarf above your head
>The cashier doesn’t even look at you
>Instead her eyes are alight with bit symbols
>”A Joists Foundation IOU! Oh man! Promotion here I come!”
“So I can take the scarf then?”
>”Yeah, yeah sure kid, whatever, just go.”

>You have 2 Jollybux remaining

>You shout back to the cashier and say thanks
>As you exit the store, you see Shelly waiting by the street corner
>The rapidly cooling air sends small shiver down her spine
>Her cry will not go unanswered

>You sneak up behind her and wrap the scarf around her neck
>She gasps in surprise before looking back at you
>”Quickie, this is- No, you shouldn’t have!”
“Yeah, I know.”

>You lean in and whisper into her ear
“But I did, didn’t I?”

>She nuzzles the scarf and wraps it around herself
>She looks at you with those big beautiful eyes
>”Quick… I…”
>It was barely above a whisper

>You lean in
“Wha-!”

>She rushes forward unexpectedly
>And gives you a peck on the lips before wrapping a hoof around your withers
>You feel fabric hanging around your neck once her hoof leaves

>She looks back at you, a mild blush on her face
>”Th-Thanks Quickie…”

>You smile back at her, and the two of you refocus your attention to the setting sun.
>…

>After some time, you and Shelly agree to get a move on.

>Would you like to say anything to her as you move to the Diner?

>>26081995
cyoot

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>>26081995
>She rushes forward unexpectedly
>And gives you a peck on the lips before wrapping a hoof around your withers
>You feel fabric hanging around your neck once her hoof leaves

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>>26082018

>>26081995
T-tell her we like her. That we LIKE like her.

>>26082031
But don't tell the Griz, he gets jealous.

Are the guards still with us? Are they following behind us and judging our game?

>>26082034
Griz just wants the Quick butt to himself
ask if he would like to share

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>>26082031
>As you and Shelly walk together to the Diner, you hear a quiet chuckle from behind
>You see the three guards nudging each other and nodding in approval towards you
>The Pegasus gives you a small salute, a wide grin on his face
>Guess that move was especially smooth

>>26082031
“H-Hey Shelly?”
>She hums in response
“Listen, I want to be clear here, I l-like you and-“
>”Quickie hush! You’re ruining the moment.”
>She rubs up against your side and uses her magic to tight the scarf ever so slightly

>”I like you too, Quickie. Well, I like you a lot more now than when we started this trip~"
>She giggles to herself
>"And you aren’t good at hiding who YOU like either. Just saying”

>As the two of you approach the diner, you see Dawn and Hothead sitting at the table.
>Hothead waves to you
>But Dawn just does… Dawn things.

>You settle down next to Shelly, and Dawn watches your every motion like a hawk.

>The Guards follow suit, sitting at the table
>Hothead gets right to work poking the centurion’s armor
>And Dawn-
>Where did she get that notepad?
>”Thanks to Quick Fix, we get to have Dinner AND a date!”

>Hothead cocks his head
>”Say what lass?”
>”Just a turn of phrase, Hottie.”
>Shelly leans into you slightly and sighs contentedly

>Hothead shrugs and begins asking questions to the guards while Dawn writes down their every response.

>You grab a menu and look at the options.
>Once you have a bite to eat, you can ask the Guards some questions of your own, free of consequence.

>What might you order, and then what will you ask?

>Mushroom Heaven
>Garden Medley
>Fried Snack Platter

>>26082176
platters are shareable. go for that.

>>26082199
They all seem like platters though..

I say get the fried snacks. Maybe give some to the guards too. They might like the gesture

>>26082176
Get the platter.

Ask Shelly if she's okay with us being so close to her. This is more so that Dawn doesn't get all pissy. Then get up real close to her.

Then I guess ask the guards about protocol when guarding the princesses? Oh, ask Steelie if ALL guards have to abide by citizen cuddle rights. We might be able to use that later on.

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>>26082199
>>26082248
>You decide to go for the fried food platter
>It takes you about two tries before you land a ring around Shelly's horn

>You offer some of the fried foods to the Guards, and they eagerly accept the offer

>Soon, the whole table erupts into utter greasy chaos as food flies through the air, most of it landing in hungry mouths, but still overall an epic battle with many prench fry casualties

>>26082268

>The excitement dies down once the platter is spent, and you find yourself enjoying Shelly’s company regardless.
>But Dawn still watches your every move.

>You nudge Shelly and ask her quietly, but loud enough to catch Dawn’s attention
“You’re… Okay with me being close like this, right?”
>”Of course! Wh-“
>Shelly’s gaze shoots over to Dawn
>”Dawn, honey, we need to talk about space, later.”
>She looks back up at you and smiles

>”Of course I’m okay with it Quickie.”
>She pushes herself into you and locks eyes with Dawn
>”So somepony can stop worrying about it.”


>Dawn's gaze finally softens
>Or it doesn't

>You actually can't tell

>But she seems way less oppressive.
>Actually, her watchful eye honestly feel really soothing
>Like having a guardian angel watching your back

>"It's nice, right? She's got good intentions, even if she's a bit... heavy in her approaches."

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>>26082362
>You turn your attention to the guards
>If there was ever a time to get more information, now is it
“So…”
>You begin, unsure of where to start
“What exactly do you guys DO around the Princess?”

>The Centurion speaks up
>”We are to maintain a phalanx around the Princess. Within two leg’s reach of each other, to protect the Princess. We are, however, cleared to engage clear and present threats to the Princess.”

>He leans in to you
>”She doesn’t like it when we stand still and wait to get knocked around.”

>You turn to Mr. Charge, who luckily doesn’t remember how you kinda convinced him he touched Shining Armor’s butt, in a way.
“Mister Charge, I heard guards have to humor a citizen’s ‘cuddle privileges.’ What’s with that?”

>He finishes his tea off and motions the waiter to bring him another brew.
>”Well child, it’s simple. The Princess values the emotional safety and harmony of the populace more than anything else, and thus made it a law centuries ago that all Royal Guards much be trained in the art of huggies.”

>He muses a moment, laughing to himself
>”I remember when I was younger, the Princess herself took me into her hooves because she wanted a hug at the time. Just because!”

>At that moment, you hear Griz’s voice call to you
>”What did I say?! Not even like an hour and he’s already abandoned us!”
>You turn to see his big toothy grin and Grillby wheeling a somewhat scuffed cart to the table.
>”Bix nood, ziggas?”
>Steel raises an eyebrow at Grillby’s utterance
>”You pick that up from your mother?”

>Griz walks over to you and whispers in your ear
>”We need to get some info about Cadance. All we know is she's doing some sort of reading.”

>Did you have any other questions for the Guards?

>>26082373
Do you guys ever guard the other princesses?
Or do regular guard duties in the castle?

Whats that like.

>>26082373
Request a hug.

>>26082373
>Is it the same for all royalty? Like Princess Cadence, she's got crystal empire (imperial?) guards, so do they have to do the same thing?

>>26082399
Request a full body, close contact hug.

>>26082373
Ask them if there's a special hug involving climbing on a mare's back.

>>26082411
This.

>>26082411
Apparently, it was good enough to earn a promotion

>>26082373
Request Steel do his best CQC technique on Sir.

>>26082522
A live demonstration for the paper! If only they could record it.

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>>26082402
>>26082393

"Do you guys ever guard other Princesses?"
>This time the unnamed Skirmisher speaks up
>"Indeed we do. But it is standard protocol of the Guard to remain in a phalanx before the Princess until her safety is compromised by our inaction."

"What about other regular guard duties? Like taking the royal phoenix for a doo-doo or something?”

>Not a single guard moves
>Or responds
>Or does anything
>They merely twitch slightly

>”Yes.” Replied the centurion
>”Yes we partake in ‘Regular’ duties.”

“Like wha-“
>”That is all.”

“…Okay?”

>The Centurion sniffles a bit before smushing his head against Mister Charge
>Who promptly engages him in a hug as they rock back and forth slightly.

>Right.

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>>26082411
>>26082422

"So like, I got a question about cuddles."

>"Go ahead, shoot."
>Steel leans on the table and points his cup at himself
>"I'm a certified Close Quarters Cuddle Master! I know all about them!"

"Okay, so I saw a guard named spearhead hug the Princess"
>"Unorthodox, but I can see that happening."

"But he did it weird."
>"How?"

"He hugged her back and then-"
>"Back?"

"Yeah"
>"Like... Hooves around her side and back?

"No. Like he climbed up and put his hips over hers and leaned over her back"
>"O...Kay... Did he do anything else?"

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"Yeah he positined himself right behind her and jumped up on her, while leaning over her butt"
>"Uhh..."

>He takes a sip
"Then he started moving back and forth, making her rock the whole table, all while she was screaming and moaning! Then he-"

>"HRGPTTTPTHBPH"
>Steel chokes on his tea as you explain what happened

>He's hacking and coughing, while trying to get a word out
"Then when he stopped, he had this sillt look on his face. Weirder still there was, like, liquid hitting the-"

>He raises a hoof
>"STOP!"

>After catching his breath, Steel moves over to you, and whispers into you ear
>"Do fillies poop?"

>What?
"Huh?"

>"Answer the question, do fillies poop?"
>That's a dumb one!
>It's Obvious!
>"No! That's just a myth, everyone knows that!"

>He rubs the back of his head
>"Okay. Uh... Well, what you saw.... wasn't a hug. Not a good one."

>He pauses a moment, thinking hard about his next words
>"You... You can't do that technique. It will... Be bad for all ponies involved. You gotta be older. Okay? No more questions!"

>A wide, uneasy smile plasters his fae
>He's sweating bullets, eyes jerking left and right
>He is a terribly liar
>But about what, you can't tell yet.
>Hmmm

>For now, you'll appease him.
"Alright, alright. You gotta do one thing for me, though."

>"W-What, kid?"

>>26082522
>>26082535
"Do a live demonstration of your CQC prowess on Sir!"
>Shelly lights up
>"Ooh! Taht woudl be great! Do it now! It'll be quick,right?"

>Steel sighs, relieved that he wouldn't have to explain somethign to you
>He and Sir stand in a clearing between the tables, in a battle ready position.

>"Now I'm only going to do this once, watch carefully, okay?"

>You nod.

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>It's over in an instant
>Somehow Mister Steel grabs Sir's foreleg, and slams him to the carpet in one smooth motion
>Then comes the next part

>Sir can barely contain his laughter as Mister steel tickles his belly
>"S-Stop Staff Sergeant!"
>"Who's a big strong Skirmisher, Yes you are!"
>Sir can do nothing but giggle uncontrollable and kicks his hoovesies ineffectually.

>Anything else?

pausing forreal

>>26082597
Now kiss

>>26082597
Ask Me Steel to try Spearhead's technique.
They're older, so it should be no problem for them!

>>26082597
Man that's fucking great.
These guys are good.

>>26082973
This

>>26082597

Steel must teach us CQC. Then we can later use it on Luna.

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!!!

>>26084673
>Batcancer

>>26084673

What? Not the place to ask for commissions mang.

>>26084673
What fresh new hell is this.

>>26085019
Batfags invading this CYOA, I guess

>>26085048

Why though?

Butts are so fun.

boop

>>26084673
thanks for the new addition to my filter

>>26082597
Wait what? That guy is Sir? The fuck.

>>26087295
What's the problem?

>>26087459
I can halfway understand wanting to make anonguard his own character for story purposes.

But why would you do that and then have him stand next to someone who looks exactly like his old character design the entire time.

>>26087473
Because
Besides, he's a skirmisher and jacku already showed us what they look like.

>>26087592
Why is he a skirmisher? When did that happen?

>>26087691
When the skirmisher told us to call him Sir.

>>26087691
https://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/butts/26036089#navbar
DYERTCYOA?

lot of bumps needed today.

here is your butt bump.

>>26087473
I originally wanted to give anon guard a promotion, because it seemed like a good idea at the time

It was only after I drew it out and posted it did I realise what a bone head decision I made.

Regardless. Made bed. Currently sleeping in it.

>>26089489
Sleep tight, Sleepyslut.

bump from10

Bubbalump

>hijumanji will be too busy with dragon's dogma soon
Pack up boys.

Buttumpajump

Courtesy bumping every quest

>>26092993

>drew a bunch of airships
>not a single butt
The end times are here

Bun

>>26093706
He said he's going to go hard all night once he gets home.

Saving bump

>>26096238

>>26096238

>>26097745

>>26098699

who got the booty

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>>26082597

>"Neat, but Quickie, we gotta talk. Mind uh... Disenganging from Shelly for a minute?"

"Uhh... I-"

>Griz yanks you away
"HEEEY!"

>You hear Grillby call back
>"Sorry! We'll bring him back later, okay?"

>Back at your table, Grillby and Griz sit across from you
“Alright! What did you guys need?”

>”Remember Grillby’s ‘request?’”
>You think about it
>He wanted to go after Cadance

“Yeah…? She’s supposed to be at a story time event or something?”
>”And its hilariously tight security. We’d like some help.”

>Griz sighs
>”Though if you’d rather spend time with Shelly, I’d won’t lie and say I wouldn’t feel bad about taking you away from her. Just… Don’t leave us hanging, alright?”

>Hmm…

>Select your Positions!

>Player
>Partner
>Support
>Stay Behind

>>26101260
Grillby
Quickie
Griz
Shelly

>>26101322
Is Griz's increased ability only as a Partner?
Otherwise this sounds good.
Kiss Shelly goodbye.

>>26101260
no way fag

We're going to get Griz killed on sight.

>>26101260
player: Shelly
Partner: Grillby
support: Griz
Stay behind: Quick

:^)

>>26101359
I like to think of him sneaking around trying to snipe guards with his pistol.

>>26101260
We said we'd help and we meant it.

Thanks for reminding us,

>>26101260
Take Shelly and Griz as support.
Put Grillby in inventory, to be deployed at the opportune moment.

>>26101260
>>Player: Grillby
>>Partner: Quick
>>Support: Griz
>>Stay Behind: Shelly

This is our mission, Shelly doesn't need to get dragged into it.

>people waiting to hang out with shelly and the guards
>almost immediately have to do something else
Okay then

>>26101550
Life happens you little shit, you think you control the entire universe or something?

>>26101572
Well it's a CYOA so I don't see why not :^)

>>26101572
Nope, Hijambles does.

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>>26101550

>>26101550
>have
Who says that?
Grillby needs to stop being shit and do something without us holding his hand.

>>26101550
Just like Fruity and his mares.
Hijacker confirmed for Nips2.

hiji says quick and shelly can stay behind if we want and then we can pick which party we want.

So:
player: Grillby
Partner: Griz

>>26101654
Why not bring Quick?

>>26101654
Let Hijacker speak for himself, you picarto faggot.

>>26101714
How mad?

>>26101693
Not bringing Quick means he can spend time with Shelly instead of going off helping with the butt touch.

>>26101744
Quick sould be a pony of his word.
Shelly will understand.

>>26101550

>>26080958
>You can go visit Shelly.
>According to what she was saying, she is probably exploring the shopping strip with her armed escort
>Maybe even shopping
>You can hang out with her briefly
>>briefly

>>25941400
>We've known the dinner with Cadance has been tonight since the beginning of last thread

>Promised Grillby help with Cadance way the fuck back

Wow. Its like the universe is continuous or something

>>26101744
Your putting mares ahead of butts?

>>26101781
wow it's almost as if we're the one playing the character and can allocate our time however we feel like.

>>26101783
>Mares don't have butts

>>26101783
Mares are ahead of butts 50% of the time, that's just science.

>>26101800
>>26101811
Royal butt's.

>>26101797
>claim of railroading is bullshit
>w-we still have a choice!
No shit. Doesn't mean the person I replied to is justified in claiming railroading when the signs were clearly present.

>>26101825
Mares are 100% of the time ahead of royal butts.
Also science.

>>26101831
The signs were present a long time ago

>>26101847
So you agree.
There's no reason to continue this line of conversation.

>>26101867
You understand that 'signs' doesn't mean we're obligated to following them right? We owe Grillby nothing. A promise made on a whim can be broken on a whim.

>>26101904
And I'm only dismissing the claim of railroading.
We can do fuck all, for what it means to my argument.
This could be seen coming in advance, so if its railroading, it's the track we chose, and we shouldn't complain about our current choices.
That has no bearing on whether or not we choose to change tracks at this very point in time.

More to the point of current prompt, I'm for going with Grillby, solely for being part of all four Princess touches.

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>>26101260

>Player
Grillby

>Partner
Quick Fix

>Support
Griz

===

>You are Grillby
>And despite everything
>You mentally prepare yourself to just have to give this up

>Not like you were SUPER invested
>Never a good idea t-
>Quick finally speaks up
>”Alright, Let’s roll Grillby. It sounds tough, so I’m gonna be right by you the whole time!”

>He what?
>You can’t help but feel the edges of your beak tighten into a gleeful smile
>Alright, maybe you were a little teeny bit invested

>”I’ll be running above you guys in case things go south.”
>Griz adds, placing the gun on the table
“Well, if it’s settled, let’s drink on it!”

>You kick your cart and three bottles clatter up and out
>Everyone opens it and starts drinking
>They didn’t fizz over, this time
>Getting better every day

>…

>The party makes their way to the auditorium
>You could have gotten here earlier
>But Griz decided to humor Quickie’s crushing
>And let him kiss Shelly goodbye
>They make a cute couple
>Probably could hit them up for some business later
>But for now, better stick to the big plan

>Your party turns the corner around the block and in the distance you can see it
>Canterlot Auditorium
>Frankly this thing was always kind of an eyesore
>And the ponies that went always were stuck up
>But you won’t lie
>Art sells.

>You take a gander around the area...
>Looks like the event already began

>Only guards are around, patrolling the joint.

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>>26102025

>Quick steps forward and holds a hoof to his head, peering out over the grounds
>”That’s a ludicrous amount of guards.”
>Griz scoffs at the observation
>”I’d be a little surprised if they didn’t bump security considering how INSANE we’ve been.”

>”We need to pick someplace to check out quickly. The last thing we need is a sea of ponies exiting to jam us up.”

>Where should we start?

>>26102025
>Grillby thinks quickXshelly is cute
You know, maybe he's not so bad a guy. Lets get him touching a butt.

>>26102037
C. All the best infiltrations involve skylights.

>>26102059
Aren't we looking at spots for exfiltration though??

>>26102051
We gave our chips to that guard.

>>26102037
Is this not a public reading? What's wrong with the main entrances?

>>26102109
The cart isn't really an inventory item and what happened to our marker?

>>26102136
>The last thing we need is a sea of ponies exiting to jam us up

>>26102146
Jam us up when? When making our escape? I would imagine hiding in a thick crowd is one of the best escape methods.

>>26102037
I wonder what H is. We could have Griz take out the pegasus on the roof to get rid of their air support.

>>26102155
when getting in.

>>26102155
he's saying that the event has started and you dont know what they are ending it

if a bunch of ponies are leaving a building, you probalby are gonna have difficulty getting inside as wel as finding your target

>>26102189
We got here so late that we are coming in as it is ending?

>>26102217
maybe, point is we dont know.

Besides we wont be able to see shit to help plan our touch if we're a couple colts in a crowd of adullts.

>>26101867
I'm not the same person you responded to.

>>26102025
Check out the ground level, like G or E. With so many eyes on the rooftop, we'd better go under.

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>>26102140
sorry again

third time's the charm right?

>>26102236
Does the schedule not have times for how long each event goes for? I know no times were actually given in-quest, but surely it would make sense for it to be on there for ponies to reference.

Also, it's story time with a Princess. I expect adults to be there because comedy, but I also expect colts to be given front row. Unless Cadence is a total asshole.

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>>26102059

"We should probably case a bit at least."
>"Lead the way"

>You walk along the perimeter of the grounds, looking in
>Over on the close wall, to the left of the front entrance, you see a string of bars glint in the moonlight
>You get a bit closer and place a talon on the bars

>You check your surroundings
“Doesn’t look the the guards in the tower to our side can see at this angle… Maybe the roof Pegasus is the only real threat here.”

>”I wouldn’t be so sure”
>Quick points with his hoof at something about halfway up
>“What the heck is that?”

>Griz squints at it, unsure of what to expect.
>Upon closer inspection, you see it too
>A magical sigil in place
>It looks familiar…

“Wait a second! I’ve seen those before! My dad keeps that on his magazine rack!”
>Quick follows up, “I’m guessing it’s a security measure?”

“Kind of. It’ll shock anything around the sigil until the object leaves the range.”
>”Why is that a problem?”

>You glare daggers at Griz
“Because I take after Dad instead of Mom.”

>Hmmm.
>The sigil will trigger if anything passes it
>And will keep triggering on that obstruction until it falls or the sigil powers down.

>Getting past this might be a pain…

>What should we do?

>>26102447
THROW CART

>>26102447
Fuck up the sigil by using the pen and drawing all over it. Use either Gropling Hook or draw a thing to hold the pen if it's too dangerous to get near. Maybe draw a rod to either pass the charge to something else or let it drain itself?

>>26102447
Magic marker over it?

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>>26102447
>“Because I take after Dad instead of Mom.”
...at least he has his booty?

>>26102447
Can it be destroyed?

>>26102447
Let's take a look at our other options.

>>26102575
No, but it can be drained

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>>26102543
>>26102548

"If we had something to pass the charge away from the bars, I'd imagine getting past it would be no issue..."

>Maybe if you tossed the cart...
>But is it worth it?
>You think about those perky, toned pink cheeks...
>A bead of sweat slides down your brow

>Quickie hums in thought, before gasping
>"Ah, sweet! He's got an idea!"

>OH THANK CELESTIA!

>You sigh in relief
" I was kinda considering using my cart, but I think charbroiling it would be disastrous for the resale."

>"Check this out!"
>Quick has a marker jammed into a hand shaped hook.
"This seems really stupid"

>"All genius plans sound stupid--"

>He tosses the hook, and a long string of... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

>It hurts to look at it
>But the hand arcs towards the sigil, and carries the stoke across it
>Electricity arcs between the sigil and the stroke violently
>”—Right up until they work! Now we just wait for the sigil to drain itself an-“

>”Hey!”
“Aw nuts.”

>”Who’s there?!”

>A single centurion approaches your party, but he doesn’t seem to have noticed the sigil freaking the fuck out above you all
>Griz pulls his hat down
>Quick Fix kicks his hook away

>The Centurion rolls up to you and looks you dead in the eyes
>”Explain yourselves! What are you doing over here?”

>Well?

>>26102747
We say this strange thing and came over here for a closer look.

>>26102747
Well, y'see, we got this thing stuck on the ladder, and we'd like to get it down. Can you help?

>>26102747
Are we not allowed to just be here? I don't see any signs or anything saying we can't stand here.

Really, without any warnings, innocent ponies could have gotten seriously hurt by that sigil.

>>26102791
You really want us to take responsibility for the strange thing that's disabling the sigil they put there?

>>26102887
... nah. I hold to the rest of my statement

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>>26102791
>>26102783

>A smile forms on your face
>You might be able to get this guy to do something
>…Enlightening

>…
>…Nah.
>Maybe get some pointers later

“Well Mister, we’re here because something of ours is stuck up there-“

>You point up at the stroke, lightly pulsing as it absorbs the electricity from the sigil
>The guard looks up, then sighs

>He fishes a label out of his armor and tacks it onto the wall
>”You kids need to be more careful when playing with things. This area is under lockdown by order of Princess Twilight.”

>He gets up on the ladder and starts climbing.
>”Not only that, but the delegates are meeting here now that story time has ended”

>As he gets closer to the sigil, Quick speaks up, apparently trying to keep the guard’s attention
>”Oh really? What was the story about?”

>The guard laughs a bit and starts speaking, a wistful tone creeping into his voice.
>”Well.. IT was one of my favorites. It’s the story about a unicorn that hates bats, but h-“

>As his hoof makes contact with the stroke, a brilliant flash washes over everyone
>You shield your eyes from the painful glare
>And you hear the sound of electricity wracking the guard’s body with terrible efficiency.

>He remains suspended for what seems like minutes at a time, before dropping onto the grass below
>A key falls from his armor, and a pained groan escapes his lips before he loses consciousness.

>The sigil is now disarmed.

>What’s the plan?

>>26103044
Acquire key. Has the sigil been deactivated yet?

>>26103102
foreal, nigga

>>26103044
Is there a key anywhere on him?

>>26103102
wew
e w
wew

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>>26103102

>>26103168
You forgot >>26103148

>>26103044
Check to make sure the guard is unconscious.

:^)

>>26103044
Have Griz go up and put the pegasus to sleep while we infiltrate from the ladder.

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>>26103102
>>26103148
>>26103168
>>26103179

>>26103044
Grab the key
Scale the ladder.

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>>26103148
>>26103102

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>>26103239
>Grab the key
>And clamber up the ladder to the rooftop
>Soon, you find yourself tens of feet above the ground.
>Quickie follows suit after you, and Griz, still on the ground floor looks up at the two of you
>”You coming up Griz?”
>”Yeah, yeah.”

>He jumps up and takes to the skies, hovering quietly up to you two.
“Showoff”
>He blows a faux raspberry at the two of you before falling into file.

>You start moving slowly and carefully across the thin railing around the auditorium
>The ceiling appears to be glass, allowing one to peer down inside the complex.
>You come around a corner and spot something on the next panel.

>What do you do?

>>26103392
Look inside for guards and have Griz deal with the pegasus.

>>26103392
Don't look at the panel. Don't.

>>26103392
look at the panel. It calls to you.

>>26103392
Is there anything on the next panel?

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>>26103423
>>26103420
>>26103494

>You ignore the panel to your left and instead opt to look around the place
>You lean against the glass and look into the auditorium below

>The lights are off, but the moon’s glow lets you see at least the catwalks directly below you clearly
>There appears to be three guards on the upper catwalks patrolling the place.

>It doesn’t seem like any have spotted you up here, but-
*Clak*

>You freeze up

*C-Clak*

>Hooves on glass?
>You look up
>And see a Pegasus guard atop the glass
>Idly tapping their hoof
>Probably keeping a watch

>You whisper to Griz to shoot the Pegasus guard before they spot you
>He nods and raises his gun, ready to fire.

>What else do you do?

>>26103604
avoid godzilla pony.

>>26103604
Use buttoculars on the pony on stage.

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>>26103723

>”Here you might want these”
>You catch a pair of
“HAH! These things are for your face?! That’s AMAZING!”
>Griz audibly shudders
>”Dude, they’re kinda gross. Like, how do you even SEE out of them?”

>You ignore his protests and instead zero in on your target
>Up on the podium, that pink princess booty wiggles ever so slightly as she reads from her speech notes
>From out here you can’t hear a thing

>You have no idea how far she is in her speech
>But you did get a quick analysis on her butt
>The verdict is exactly as you expected

>A tasteful rear
>Not too big
>But not too small
>Perky and fit
>You lick your lips

>The Pegasus on the glass roof continues tapping the glass.

>What should we do?

>>26103842
Why hasn't Griz knocked him out yet?

>>26103881
he's waiting to see if its necessary, becasue you can still jump down and look in other areas

if you want him to shoot asap, say so

>>26103842
The butt is so tiny.

>>26103842
>>26102037
Let's check out area B

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>>26104013

>You drop down from the railing right over the door in area B

>The door appears to be a back entrance of some kind
>Reserved for the performers perhaps?

>You grip the handle and jiggle it a bit
>The door rattles slightly
>But ultimately doesn't budge

>You could probably break through it if you were a hair stronger
>...And had a death wish thanks to the sheer volume

>You place an ear to the door..
>There is movement on the other side...
>A guard, maybe?

>Probably close enough that if you knocked you could get him to answer it

>Still, you also have the skylight option that you didn't check.

>What now?

>>26104054
There a keyhole we can look through?

>>26104054
Any signs?
Otherwise, just knock.

>>26104054
take our cart out of our inventory and say we're delivering refreshments to the guard crew.

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>>26104077
>You bend down
>There appears to be a keyhole
>You look through
>…

>While the inside is dark, you can makes out some basic shapes
>You see what looks like an Earthy Pony Stallion
>Or a very large mare
>You can’t really tell
>But you can see their flank is to the door

>Definitely close enough to hear a knock

>>26104112

>You pat yourself down, making sure to knock free any dust
>You ready your cart
>And assume a power pose
>Just like Dad taught you
>Time to kill it
>You knock twice on the door
>Three times would be too impatient
>And once would be to dismissive.

>Sure enough, a stallion’s voice calls out
>”H-Hello? Who’s there?”


>>26104137
“Refreshments, for the hard working guards of the Princess!”
>”…Refreshments?”
“That’s right, ice cold and free of charge!”

>That outta do it
>Ponies LITERALLY cannot resist FREE st-
>The pony on the other side of the door seems to be talking to another behind his back
>”…Did we even order refreshments?”
>”-unno.”

>”I think you have the wrong door, sir! The Captain didn’t order refreshments!

>What should we say?

>>26104176
The order was commissioned by the princess for her guards. Your officer should have gotten the paperwork.

I can't just go back and tell my boss that we couldn't fulfil an order from a princess, he'll have me replaced with someone with a cutiemark before I could finish explaining! It's hard being a hippogriff in canterlot you know.

So the marker residue has weight right? And it draws the line under the tip and doesn't move unless acted upon. So if we just scribbled back and forth over the same section over and over we'll be able to create a massively dense chunk of not-ink. Toss that off the front and create a massive crater to draw all the guards to the front after we have the door open.

>>26104194
Say it was a recent thing, no way they could have known about it beforehand

>>26104176
The Captain didn't tell you? Well, I guess the Captain wanted to surprise you with some nice refreshments for your hard work!

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>>26104194
>>26104266

>You think a moment
“It was… Commissioned by the Princess!”
>”Huh? What do you mean?”

“Listen buddy, my boss sent me here with a cart full of drinks and told me to get them to the Princess’s Guard ASAP. It was a recent order. You guys should have the paperwork.”

>”We… We don’t have any though! Just take it back for now! You’re distracting us from security duties! Besides, our Captain would have told us if he wanted to get us drinks!”

“Maybe he wanted to surprise you?”

>”Surpsie us… Hmmm… Well we can’t let you in until the Princess is secured, so just go back and-“

“I-I can’t go back!”
>”Why not?"

“I can’t go back and tell my boss I couldn’t make a delivery to the Princess! He’ll have me replaced with somepony with a cutiemark before I can say anything in my defense! C’mon man, just let a hippogriff in! It’s hard here in Canterlot!”

>”…Don’t hippogriffs get cutie marks?”

>You pause a moment
>Uhhh…
>AH
>YOU GOT THIS

“They… They do?” you feign naivety
>”…Yes?”
“O-Oh no… A-are you sure?”
>”Why.. do you not- Oh. Uh… Maybe not all of them?!”
“AAAAAAAHHH”
>You feign a desperate wail and bang on the door
“I’VE LIVED A LIEEEEEEEE”

>Quick and Griz are trying their best to stifle their laughter as you bang against the door rythmically

>”AHH! Please calm down! Stop hitting the door! I’ll let you in, but you can’t leave the backstage!”
>The door’s handle rattles slightly as the lock unlatches.

>Perfect!
>Once the door is opened, and the Guard is revealed, do you have any plans?
>How are you going to explain Griz and Quick Fix?
>Did you also want to ask any questions?

>Perhaps most importantly…
>Did you want to keep any drinks for yourself?

>>26104313
They're the help. There's a bunch of guards after all, gotta get drinks to everyone. Ask them why they're guarding a random door.

>>26104313
Griz and Quick Fix are shadows assigned to us to learn about the drink delivery job.

What I want to do is have Quick draw something in clear ink to put over the door latch. Like taping it in so that it doesn't lock itself when it closes.

Then we can just leave and open it whenever.

>>26104313

Ask them if their security guarding is going well, something like "The security sure is tight, guarding the princess must be an important job!" to get them slip some security details

And keep a few drinks if there's any left over. To celebrate.

>>26104395
Oh yeah, and I guess Grill and Griz can talk to them, grab their attention, and cover Quick while he applies the stop.

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>>26104395
>>26104394

>The door opens slowly, and a pair of eyes peer out of the darkness at you two
>”What the heck? Why is there three of you?”

“They’re the help. Big order means big help!”
>You snake your arm around the two of them
“This is Tweedle Dee and this is Tweedle Dumb!”

>Griz and Quick flash award winning smiles
>All the while sweating bullets
>”Hey wait a second…”

>The guard eye’s Griz especially closely
>”You look familiar…”

>Uh oh
>Uhh…
“Don’t be racist?”
>The guard is taken aback, and readjusts his helmet
>”Uh-Huh. Right, my apologies…”

>He closes the door, and the sound of latches unhooking transmits through the metal door.

>”As it stands, you can’t be handing anything out until the mandate’s delivery is over. Come with me.”

>You follow the guard into the dark backstage area
>Not before motioning to Quick to jam the lock somehow.
>He uncaps his pen and draws down the latch
>While nothing appears, the latch stays down
>Like he laid tape or something over it

>As you and Quick walk further away from the door, Griz tests the door but closing it and opening it again
>Success!
>The back door is now open, allowing you to freely pass through it at your leisure.
>Getting a chance to, on the other hand...

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>>26104425
"This is some pretty tight security"
>"Well, recent events have made it hard to ignore that our normal level of security is...lacking."

"What, this isn't normal?"
>"Well, usually we have Paladins on the inside, to capture any transgressors, but we have most stationed outside to keep tabs on any infiltrators for now."

>He mutters something about how bad they are at seeing things at long range
>"Well, hoepfully the extra Centurions in the Aisles will keep the Princess safe enough."

>Not much useful information it seems
>It would figure he doesn't want to tell you all the darkest secrets and weaknesses of the guard

"So why was the door locked?"
>"It's the back door. Nopony ever goes through the back door, so we just lock it."
"So why were you standing there?"
>"I-"
>He stops himself
>"I was absolutely NOT taking a break there. No sir."
"Hey, I don't judge!"

>You travel behind and around many props and curtains
>You can hear Cadance’s voice, albeit a tad muffled

>”..nd that, my fellow delegates is why we must pass the Adventurer’s Program with utmost haste. The new generation from this mandate will produce a veritable army capable of-“

>”Hey!”
>The guard interrupts your daydreaming by poking you
>His armored hoof coldly jabs your cheek
>”I’ll need you to wait here for a moment. If you are to be the surprise the Captain wanted, you’ll need to stay out of sight. She’s almost done anyway!”

>You nod, but the Guard doesn’t move.
>He shuffles his hooves uneasily
“Huh?”

>He eyes your cart.
>You give it a good kick, and a cola rolls out
>He whinnies in approval and skips off, soda in his mouth.

>Now that he’s out of the picture, you wait a moment to let your eyes adjust to the darkness around you…

pausing

>>26104481
Enjoy your ban :^)

>>26105633
Dont doubt the power of butts

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>>26103842
I swear, seeing these things in use will get me every time.

>>26080948
this is cancer

>>26080948

>>26107378

>>26108838

>>26109854

bemp

>>26112278
bamp

How did Hijimbles get banned anyway?

>>26113906
Made a very half-assed attempt to censor a dick.

You could still see the whole dick+balls.

>>26113930
s-sauce on pic?

>>26114145

>>26104374

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>>26114159
>>>26104374

>>26113930
Was it the one with discord?

>>26114224
Yep.

blep

butts r gauy

>>26115103

>>26115874

>>26116138

>>26116886

>>26117920

tub