>"Look at who's in charge now, Anon! With you gone, nopony will be able to take Rarity away from me!"
You forget one important detail...
>"Look at who's in charge now
Do you feel in charge?
it's been long enough, and many people have already seen the movie
I mean...you can have her I guess, it's not like anyone gives a shit.
>"Your anger and your lust for power have already done that"
>Spike lunges into the air, swinging his lightsaber directly at your throat.
>You smirk as you reach out and catch the blade.
>"W-what? That's impossible!"
"What you didn't realize, spike, is that I'm wearing cortosis gloves!"
"It's a material that lightsabers can't burn through."
>"...Is that something from those stupid books again?"
"They're not stupid, Spike, they're actually really good."
>"God damnit, Anon! If it wasn't in the movies it doesn't count! The books aren't canon!"
"They are to me! And while we're playing at my house, we play by my rules!"
>Spike thrusts his hand out and attempts to force choke you.
>You merely chuckle at his feeble effort.
"Do you really think I'd come into battle against a sith lord WITHOUT a Ysalamir to protect me against force-based attacks?"
>You gesture to the glass terrarium strapped to your back containing the lizard-like creature while pulling your best Costanza face.
>Spike deactivates his lightsaber and throws it to the ground.
>"Find someone else to play with."
>He storms off, muttering something about midichlorians or something.
"I will! Someone who can appreciate a good fucking story when they see it! DISNEY SHOULD HAVE ADAPTED THE THRAWN TRILOGY!"
>...You should probably bring flutters her iguana back before she notices it's gone.
>Spike the magic dragon just threatened you with a goddamned lightsaber.
>A goddamned lightsaber, of all things.
>You're not sure where the hell he got that thing, but you don't like the way he's pointing it at you.
>With a scream of rage, Spike lunges at you.
>You side step and punch the shit out of him.
>He goes down in one hit.
>HUZZAH FOR HUMAN STRENGTH!
>You pick up the lightsaber as you walk away, muttering.
They spent the entire movie having Han turn to the camera and tell the audience that the bowcaster is, like, super powerful so that they could shoot kylo with it and have an excuse for why Rey and Finn could fight him and not immediately die.
Fist of the North Death Star
they should have adapted the thrawn trilogy. pretty hype about this han solo spinoff, hope they're doing the rebel dawn story
Spike- she's a whore and i'm not interested. It's not my goddamn fault everyone else has more money to buy her than you got. Maybe if you stopped eating your gems you'd be able to afford a slice of that bicycle.