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Rainbow Dyke/Tsundere Dash thread #2
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 500
Thread images: 161
Original prompt:
>"Haha, you faggot can't even stand a hit from a girl! What you gonna do now, fuckboy? Cry?! Fucking nerd!"

>ZimZam senpaii~


Last thread hit the bump limit.
The ride continues!
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First for FUCK THIS CUNT, literally and metaphorically.
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Reporting in to shitpost some more.
You can't outshitpost GSW, bruh.
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Previous thread:
Nice meme newfag.
>inb4 "ur not the real A. Nawny Muss"
I am the real Anne Awny Moose You frickin fricks
He can try
OK I changed my mind looking here >>26036926 it looks like he meant actual shitposting I'm not going to endorse that

To be clear I didn't think he was going to be ironicly shitposting either
Its worth noting there were other writefags in the old thread but I think they all finished there stories
Well... this thread isn full of namefags. Have fun circle jerking in your general newfags. Reddit might suit you better

pro tip: you should turn off the name when you aren't posting content
>protip: read the last thread
Just 2 namefags, and it's late btw, the remaining 140 posters from last thread will come back in the morning.

I don't even know where a nonee mouse came from
Lol also,
>implying this is a general
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Whatever kid. Oh I'm sorry did I fucking trigger you? Were you fucking triggered you little cry baby? Fuck off. Literally saying not a fucking word to you and you're gonna fucking mute me because you have a problem with me just fucking talking shit in all chat? Honestly go fuck yourself to the highest fucking caliber you fucking asshole. So sick of little fucking bitches like you who fucking have a fucking opinion like you're fucking sitting over there like, oh I'm some fucking problem to you because I'm not even fucking saying a fucking word to you. Fuck off. Call it what you fucking asshole? Hormonal? Kid you're a fucking bullshitter. You're a fucking bullshitter. Go fuck yourself. You ain't fucking nothing. You ain't fucking anyone. You ain't got a fucking clue in your fucking head who I am or what I'm fucking about. That I'm fucking calling these fucking kids tryhards, has your fucking panties in a bunch for what? For what? For fucking what kid? Honestly I'm fucking sick of kids like you. Literally go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself and everything that you fucking stand for because I'm gonna tell you right now, you don't stand for shit kid. You don't stand for fucking shit. Please. Yeah, talk in all chat. Yeah like anybody fucking cares kid go find a fucking friend to talk to, right? Because you can't fucking talk to me, you can't fucking treat me like a fucking person. You ain't fucking real kid. You ain't fucking real. You ain't got a fucking real fucking bone in your fucking body kid. So go fucking all chat, and make some fucking friends. Alright? You can make some fucking friends because "Oh, this guy's hormonal," pffft "Uh I'm gonna mute him," pffft fuck off. You're literally a fucking cancer on this fucking world kid. Never fucking forget it.

Goddamn I love this pasta
I share the story of my origin with all things born of the Dark Lord Autisimo.
If you'd written it yourself I would formally declare you knighted as Sir Shitpostsalot. Nothin personnel kid...
I'm too lazy to write anything myself.
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10,000 keks in the fire
Is long enough
You're going home...
Doesent really fit as the linked post dident mention hormones

Which is how I worked out it was pasta
I get the joke
Yes, but we already shunned them from our circlejerk of favoritism and monopoly.
I'm going to read the shorter stories and gsws story while I wait for zim zams to continue
I think it was more that the other stories were shorter so there is less to talk about
A few were pretty good.
Heheh I know, I'm just being a browny fegit.
This is top-tier flaming in a game, lost the video.
>Yeah, talk in all chat. Yeah like anybody fucking cares kid
It's 10 am

U repeat, you should remove your name when not posting content. This isn't reddit. You don't get karma for Making posts.
It's 6 am here.
You're right, I do repeat.
nigga suck on these Apples.

Because I don't feel like there's enough shit in my post:
>insurt le funny banana guy meme xD
When's Zimma Zam going to make his return?

>tfw you namefag while shitposting to kick it into maximum overb8 and someone falls for it
>even the tripcode was fake
>literally #420Blazeit
If I'm cancer, then I guess I don't mind killing cells like you.

>And then /mlp/ was the cancer
Ah I see I assumed it was just a mispeling of ALL CAPS
I'm on my phone somebody post the bannana
>You're chillin' out at home
>Relaxing all
>Cool air blowing through your bedroom window
>Controller in hand, absorbed in your umpteenth match of Rocket League
>It's a nice balance of hot and cold outside that would normally warrant going for a run
>but you're sporting a few bruises that you're not keen to stress
>You have the game volume set low
>The cheering of the crowd is faint and fading quickly in favor of the peaceful ambiance of the outdoors
>A gentle breeze pushing through barren trees
>The muted laughter of children playing several blocks away
>The wooden gate to your back yard gently swaying, unlatched and open
>Your neighbors chattering while they prepare food for lunch, their own windows opened to enjoy the momentary reprieve in extreme weather
>You massage your calves against each other and consider a mid-day nap
>No work for two days
>No pressing social obligations
>Just some you-time
>You close your eyes, feeling the controller slip from your grasp, current match be damned
>A surprised choke is the best you can manage as a football soars through your bedroom window and nails you squarely in the head
>You sprawl out on the floor, completely bewildered
"T..The fuck?"
>You make quick sense of Up and Down and use your regained spatial awareness to locate the window
>At the end of your backyard, just within the open gate, is Rainbow Dash
>A tree, a waving gate, a partially opened window: there were a lot of factors working against the admittedly amazing shot she made from that point to your head
>But that's not so important at the moment
"What the fuck is your problem?"
>Your voice wavers a bit when you shout at her
>A little squeak that threatens to tear down your mighty masculine walls
>One Dash wouldn't miss for the world
>And yet you don't see her smirk
>The glow of a rebuttal opportunity doesn't seep out of her core and across her face
>She just looks pissed
>You will never humiliate Dash because of her flat chest
>implying DFC is a bad thing
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>She lingers in the gate for an awkward beat and you stare her down
>You throw up your hands and stand, walking to the window and leaning out
"You need to chill the fuck out and tell me what you're on about."
>She vibrates in place a little
>A container of anger bursting at the seams
>She jabs a finger in your direction
>"You've been talking to Gilda! Or Rarity! Or fucking Flash! Someone."
>You jerk your head back in a show of genuine confusion
>Your head collides with the half-opened window and pain fires across your skull
>Triggering your own building anger
"Maybe I was! At least they make some goddamn sense, once in a while!"
>Dash literally shakes her fists in the air and screams, looking around for something to punch
>Finding nothing, she decides to point at you again
>"Big badass Anon, right? No one fucks with Rainbow Dash but then you come along and HEY you've got her all figured out! Right?"
>Your head is still throbbing and the onslaught of half-complete thoughts from Dash isn't healing anything
>You stumble the rest of the way through the window and step outside
>She still won't leave the gateway
"You are being batshit- oh, just come the fuck in already!"
>She huffs loudly and walks through the gate into your yard, making tracks for you
>You get the old fingerjab in the chest
>"I talk to Gilda today and she asks me how long you and I have been a thing. Now, why the hell would she be thinking something like that!?"
>You throw your hands up again
"Fuck if I know! I don't hang out with her! That's your deal!"
>"Uhm, excuse me but-"
>You and Dash both whip around to look at your neighbor just at the other side of your fence
>You yell at him together
>He scurries away and you refocus on each other
>"I told you a hundred goddamn times that whatever we do, it's competition. COM-PE-TI-TION. You don't get to go around telling every one of your dumbass keyboard jockey nerdlings that we fuck around."
just fucking around and getting ahead of myself
there aren't even jokes
>"Oh, sup Rainbow Dude, come for another ass wooping at whatever menial shit you want to challenge me at?"
>'I'm not gonna lose this tim-..HEY! Stop calling me Rainbow DUDE!'
>"Oh, shit, my bad Dash, I thought you were a dude. Again. You know, because of your non-existent tits."
>She just stands there fuming, turning redder
>That's when the tears start forming
>Heheh, woops, maybe the bantz was too much, bruh
>you like to tease her about her tits
>truth is you fucking love them small
>end up pushing her over the edge this time
>feel bad and apologize, telling her your secret
>she doesn't believe you at first, then tells you to prove it
>she's shaking like a leaf in the brisk autumn air
>moaning softly as you gently kiss her heaving chest
>all over every inch of her supple flesh
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>Dash tsundere for Anon.
>Wants to attract his attention but doesn't know how.
>Starts bullying him.
>Because of this Anon makes fun at her and her tits.
>Later Dash cries because she thinks she's ugly and Anon-senpai won't love her.
There you go
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Please spare my dick
Also green in a bit
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>>she's shaking like a leaf in the brisk autumn air
>>moaning softly as you gently kiss her heaving chest
>>all over every inch of her supple flesh
>he unironically likes small breasts
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>not holding her closer to your heart
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>Not liking all types of tits
Small tits are like the most cute tits.
I can appreciate some big nice tits, but mah dick is all up for something like >>26037973
Guess I'm not 'Murican enough.

Continuing from pastebin in the OP

>"Heh, are you serious?"
>Are you?
"Yeah. I'm really tired of all this fighting."
>"Me too, Anon."
>She clears her throat carefully to not disturb anyone
>Good thing you decided to sit in the end of the classroom
>"Hi Anon, I'm Rainbow Dash."
"You look great today, Dashie."
"I can call you Dashie, right?"
>Stop fucking thinking it over, Dash
>"Er... Your suit looks nice today also, I guess..."

>"Do you really wear the same suit every day?"
"I have seven of them, this one is Friday."
>"But it's Tuesday."
"I like a little bit of chaos in my life."
>A small giggle comes out of Rainbow, unexpectedly to you /and/ her
>You get your A-graded 5 Star Premium Quality Anon Smile™ out
"I know I'm irresistible."
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>complaining about anime on a board for cartoon horses that's on an anime based image board

(I fell for the bait)
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>last thread hit the bump limit
Blatant lies.
Ello, thanks for the new thread, has

Green in a half hour. Git hype
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>I-i was only being retarded ironically, I-i swear!
Real funny bait, coulda fooled me.
>Thread started with shitposting
I gotta baaaad feeling about dis
This Anon knows his shit. As long as they arent the fucking huge nipple fucker fetish tits or pepperonis, I can jive with it
Yeah, really. What was with all the shitposting earlier?

>As you get farther and farther away from the school, a huge grin breaks across all of your faces
>Gilda lunges forward and bangs on the dash
>Sunset jumps around in her chair
>You all exhange high fives and continue to jump around, cranking the best getaway song known to man
>You got away
>Sunset speeds up the car, and before you know it, the car is flying up the dirt road to the point
>Sunset drifts to a stop in front of the cliff's edge, and you all jump out of the door
>Rushing to the trunk, Sunset clicks it open to reveal a bottle of Balefire Cinnamon Whiskey, which she screws the top off of and promptly takes a long drink from
>She thrusts it to you, and you do the same
>When you motion to pass it to Gilda, she merely shakes her head with a knowing smile
>...And pulls three dark brown rods, stuffed to the brim with something
>Your hit with a smell that you've never experienced before. It's hard to explain, but the best you can akin it to is like pepper, but a bit sweeter. It makes your nostrils tingle when you breathe in the scent again
>You figure that you know what it is
>Sunset walks forward and grabs two of the small rods, handing one to you
>You pull the thing to your nose, and inhale the scent deeply once more, causing your brain to fuzz for a second
>Gilda fishes her signature gunmetal Zippo with a "G" scratched in the face
>You couldn't tell whether you should be scared of what's going to happen when your under, or to be excited you were about to smoke for the first time
>You settle on "Fuck It"
Longest half hour ever.
Yeeeaaahh, sorry about that one. A thread caught my eye
The Sunset one?
>like pepper, but a bit sweeter. It makes your nostrils tingle when you breathe in the scent again
Opium? Gilda goes fuckin' hard, huh?
I love the history on opium. Like how Britain made China all crack addicts so they can make and sell more tea.
Truly the noblest of all nations.
And that it self caused the slave trade that lasted for nearly 400 years.
Please. They didn't put a fucking gun to their heads and force them to hit the pipe.
No, but they did present a very compelling sales pitch.

People are stupid anon, they'll do/think/buy anything if you word it to them right.
Talk about an Asian Persuasion
Nah, that was last night right before i went to sleep
First dealer I ever had gave me stuff that smelled like pepper, but was pretty great. It's hard to explain what weed smells like, so I just used an old memory
>Gilda walks to the car and sits on the hood, motioning for you all to follow.
>You all follow, you being very careful not to undo the meticulous binding on the wrapping of the blunt
>When you all sit down, Gilda lights hers, and passes you the lighter, and you do the same
>Sunset gets the lighter and flips it upside down, opening the top with her pinkie, spinning the zippo with her ring finger, and running the flint across her palm, alighting the wick
>Gilda and you both clap slowly, before you all inhale
>And then you feel a ticklish pit in the back of your throat and begin to cough like a bitch
>Sunset and Gilda raise their hands to stifle giggles as you take slow breaths, the feeling not leaving the back of your throat
>"Try sucking in some fresh air with the smoke, It helps alot"
>You follow the instruction, and manage to fill your lungs with the smoke, holding for a few seconds, and then letting the large cloud out of your chest
>Gilda knocks on your shoulder while she breathes in smoke for herself, giving you a thumbs up
>You repeat the action a few more times, befor-
>Holy fuck everything is moving
>What started at the corners of your vision, edged into your sight completely
>The world begins to shift and change, and colors just look so
>You look over at Sunset, who is looking down at the city
>Then over to Gilda, who is watching a cloud
>They are so fucking beautiful. How did you get so lucky to meet them?
>By all of you hating that cunt Dash
>Fuck her for real, but shes probably a really nice person if she wanted to be
>But she doesn't and it always fucked with you how she ousted you right away for no good reason.
>You decide not to think these thoughts.
If it smelled like pepper, I'm almost positive it wasn't dank weed. Either that, or you got shermed by your first dealer.
>Sunset looks at you, her eyes turning the slightest shade of pink where they were once white.
>"Anon, I can't believe your such a cool guy. Like when Gilda and I saw you around, we didn't think you were a loser, but I didn't think we would have ever hung with you. Let alone become partners in crime. Like holy shit, that's crazy what we did."
>Gilda nods, and exhales before turning to you aswell
>"Yeah, Anon. I never would have guessed that you were being quiet, and you were such a good guy. It's been like 3 days and your already one of us, and it's like..."
>She turns over again
>You look up to the sky, and hit your blunt again
"It was a rule of thumb that if you talked to either of you, you would get fucked up in more ways than one, I thought you were badasses. Sometimes I thought, "I wonder what it would be like to be like that." Yknow, just not care and do my own thing."
>You pause to inhale once again
>heh, that cloud looks like a sandwich
>hehheheheheheheh, you guys are in a sandwhich. like horizontally. ha
>"But I never was really social, I mean in real life. I have a few good friends online who I always talked to and played games with. I just thought the idea that most people that were actually around me were just unappealing. Sure some of the guys are older than me, or younger, but we all just kinda clicked. We didn't give a shit about much, and it was all about coming home and hiding away in video games or discusssion. I wondered what it would be like to have actual friends, and I can admit that it's nice."
>You pull them both close, kissing their cheeks
"I have known you guys for a few days, and I think of you as family already."
>They both hug into you, before Gilda pulls away with a playful snort
>"Don't be a faggot, Anon"
>You chuckle, and then laugh, and then within seconds your all fucking dying
>You just lay there and laugh with eachother for what felt like hours
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I literally came here to bump the thread with shitposting. Exhibit A:
You're a faggot.
Oh no, it was for sure far from dank. And i dunno, he gave me a dime for about ten bucks each. I moved on to a guy my cousin knew and got stuff that would get me loaded off of a bowlpack or two.

Good times
Woops. that whole green bit was supposed to be white.

>You all just lay there for what feels like an entire day, but when it all wore off, was in reality about three hours.
>When Sunset was going back to grab the whiskey, your phone dinged with a text from Fluttershy
>"School just got out, if you want, you can come over and we can talk"
>You rub your eyes, and set down your phone conflicted
>Which is quickly snatched up by Gilda, who noticed the confliction writ on your features
>"Huh, Fluttershy?"
>She looked up at you expectantly
>"Are you going to go?"
>You snatch back the phone with an annoyed glare.
"I'm not sure, I don't really want to bail on you guys."
>Gilda rolls her eyes
>"Anon, don't be a dumbass. You should go, it's obviously important."
>"Go where?"
>Sunset had walked back to the front of the car with the bottle in her hand
"Fluttershy's house, she wants to talk"
>"Oh, thats cool. I can drop you off and get you later if you want, I don't think that we're going to do much more today."
"Are you guys sure?"
>They both look to eachother and shrug
>"Yeah, it's whatever."
"Alright then, we should get going then."
>You all mosey into the car and drive off, leaving the point in your wake
Gonna go make some coffee and take a break for a bit and browse. be back
Hey ZimZam, can you please kill me? Thanks.
Sure pal, might I ask as to why?
Check the old thread, let's use up the replies
>that whole green bit was supposed to be white
That depends entirely on what theme you're using.

Right now I'm using the high-as-fuck theme, so the color is actually bootstrap and cosmic chicken nuggets.
the bit that was talking about internet friends was supposed to be white, that was Anon talking
I know, I was just commenting that the color depends on what theme you're using. Yotsuba text is black.
>Not based Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the best theme Anon, git guud
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I fucking love you Zim Zam my man
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>not using 4chanX and cycling between themes every five minutes
What does it feel like to be a pleb?
<3 I love you too, chili mac MRE
I used to, but several years ago I developed astigmatism in one of my eyes. Reading white text on a black background now etches painful lines into my vision.

It sucks because I was using a darker background to make it easier on my vision in the first place.
>implying i'm not using 4chanX
its 2016 anon
>Cycling themes
didn't know that was a thing, it sounds unwieldy
That does suck Anon, thats why I use it

What if you wore an eyepatch, eh? Pirates did it all the time, and that way you have an excuse to read and get drunk on spiced liqours
I just switch between them manually.
>Switching in the first place
Stick with one, don't be a chump
>not using Yotsuba
What a bunch of newfags
I'm bored as fuck and can't write shit in this condition halp
not to sound like an ass, but that sounds wierd, why not just stick to one?
I can't decide between solarized and blackboard.
I'm sorry that my eyes are sensitive at night, GSW.
Always pick the one that does less stress to your eyes.
>the writefags are barely competent when it comes to writing
I prefer blackboard to solarized

Tomorrow is just nilla and god tier
That would be disorienting, I'd have a hard time retaining information with something blocking half my vision.

It's not like the lines only stick to one eye anyway. I don't know how that works.
Probably not to be honest. This is the first that I've written for about a month or two.

But for now I'm browsing and taking a break, spellchecking the next update
>less stress to your eyes
Blackboard it is, then.
Black themes are top tier.
Nice repeating digits, Batezam.
Boom, check'd those numbers

We're great at shitposting though
I am not a good shitposter, I never cared for the art
Fuck, I lost my Game Sphere pics.
Bump, whatever
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Step your shitpost game up man. I shitpost so hard every image I post has a title with epic memes in them
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I may be able to write for this thread sometime, how it goes is:

>GSW writes green and keeps it comfy without sex because he's a cockteasing faggot
>GSB comes in and gives people what they want while posting dank maymays in the thread
I fucking lost my shit and proceeded to spill mildly hot coffee on myself, I was mid drink you faggot
Aight, I should get back to it then


>You are Fluttershy
>and your so very nervous
>w-what are you going to say to anon?
>you know he had something to do with rainbow's incident, but you don't know if you can blame him
>anon is really smart and was always really nice
>but now, hes still nice, but he's changing
>you don't think that you should stay around him anymore...
>but you really, really want to
>something about seeing anon's courage awaken inside of him makes you want him around you. as if he would protect you from everything
>but rainbow is your friend...
>why does stuff have to be so hard?
>you walk over to a wall and lean your head on it with a sigh.
>maybe you should just call off the visit
>maybe he wont even co-
>*Ding Dong*
>You jump at the sound, and your heart flutters at the realization
>He came!
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>your heart flutters
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Fuck you for posting that first, I had mine ready
>You are Anon
>And you're getting pretty nervous
>You wonder what Fluttershy wants to talk about
>Last night maybe?
>She kissed you, and it felt like she meant every second
>Your pondering is halted as the door to her small home opens, revealing fluttershy wearing a casual outfit, her favorite green hoodie with the heart in the middle and some jeans.
>"H-hey Anon, w-whats up?"
>She brushes a stray lock of her pink hair out of her eye, and looks at you with an unsure smile
"Nothing much Fluttershy, may I come in?"
>"Y-yes, please do."
Sorry to bounce, but i have stuff to take care of. Not sure if im going to be back tonight, but i could be. Just watch the thread
You doing gods work anon
I'm glad there wasn't too much today, I've been playing vidya the whole time hoping there wasn't too much to catch up on.
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The hell is with him being like
"oh finally got laid and it was bareback too and i came balls deep so basically i got the ultimate sex you can get but lol idrc its ogrerated i feel nothing hello darkness my old friend XD"

>You really didn’t know what the whole deal was about losing your virginity.
>Whoop de motherfucking do, you had sex, came in a girl, and now…?

I mean for real, what the hell?
I would kill many third world children to swap places with him.
Anon got used for pleasure. Sunset wasn't fucking him, she was fucking his dick to get off. i think that in the perfect scenario you would rather there was some emotional connection
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>not killing third world children for sport
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It's like getting bareback pussy and cumming balls deep is like "meh" to him or something

Also I know bringing this up is late and all but fucking bans stop you from getting in on shit on time
>posting traps
Trust me, sex when you're doing it with someone who you truly love, who also reciprocates that love Is an entirely different ballgame than blowing your load into some random whore.

It's why it pains me to see people who have had their first times completely wasted. They will never get to experience something so magical.
(I don't want this to interfere with your writing so if your in the middle of it then don't stop just to answer but if you have time then ok)

Are you trying to tell me that sex feels physically superior with all that love shit or is it just a psychological trip?
Also I don't get that whole "ruined first time" nonsense if what you say is true then you haven't experienced the better version yet anyways so it doesn't matter, it would be like eating bad pizza and then being like "oh no I can never taste good pizza now"

Basically I'm just annoyed by his "lol no biggie" attitude like it carried no more "hallelujah" type weight for him than pissing
>Implying we even want human sex.
Sir, welcome to virginity.
I will be your guide.
I'm not OP, just some random guy.

And on a technical and literal standpoint, no, it doesn't "amplify" pleasure. I'm just trying to tell you that there's a difference between "I care a lot for this person and I want to treat them as well as I can" and "You need to be out of my house by 7".

In short, yes, it's purely psychological. Just like how the social stigma surrounding virginity is purely psychological. There's more to being human than eating and reproducing.
Well said mate
Fun fact, thats a representation of my first time and how I felt.

Anon, sex is wonderful, not to say you hadnt had it before, but if you have you know this. It touches all the right buttons and fulfills you /physically/. When you have a strong feeling for a person and they share it, its like a bond and it fulfills you /emotionally/ aswell. This person isn't using you to get off anymore, your both sharing a moment together. After I got my dick wet, it was a casual thing and it kept up until I got feelings for the chick. Dropped me about two months in to the no strings attached thing. Sex feels nice and shit, but wehn you both have feelings for eachother then its more than a psychological trip, it shows you that this thing thats wonderful was actually missing a piece to it that makes it fucking perfect and right.

Maybe a mouthful, but tldr Not everyone's first time will be special, your lucky if it is. Sex casually is like a cheese pizza, sex with love is like throwing some toppings on that bitch and having the deliveryman bring it in 32 minutes so its free.
Best description of sex ever.
Thanks for taunting me with things I'll never experience, Zim.
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One more thing to try to get a grasp on how it is relative to other things that I already know about
And I'm talking about sex minus all the love and what not
Are vidya, amazing pizza, great movies, funny as fuck tv shows, or good music ever better than default sex (no emotion)?
Or does it have roughly the overall satisfaction as the others so it could just be another name on the list of "good things"

Also I guess throw in where you think that sex+love ranks in relative to everything

Can't really think of a good reaction so have this
Also sorry I know I said that was the last thing but I forgot to ask this and yeah it does matter
Are you cut or uncut?
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If you're scrolling 4chan and see this post...

You were visited by ZimZam, Writefag of Sex!
Good green and healthy sex will come to you, but only if you reply this into his thread "thanks mr zimzam"
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God damnit its amazing how just 3 days not being able to post fucks up your post quality making you look like a tard

*Or is either one better than that list of things and if so by roughly how much

Have a guide as compensation for me fucking up over and over
Ir's preference, but for me its a little bit under those things. I could chill at my place with a chick, or even alone for that matter, and do my own thing, rather than fuck a chick and have her out of my house at a set time and just feel alone. sex with love probably ranks 2nd for me, right under good music and right above vidya.

sex without feeling is at the bottom above tv, it just leaves me feeling empty and awkward. Like i shared a thing wiht this chick, a natural high that we both experienced, and then shes off. No strings sex feels good, yeah, but it doesn't feel /right/

I guess thats how i would put it. I could clarify as needed
I am cut, kinda pissed that i lost out on a few extra inches on a decision i didnt get a say in, but i still rock a lucky 7, so i think i should be fine.
its all good anon, this is the first time i actually worked up the nut to show my face after awhile. I know the struggle

assuming your the same guy here
thanks mr zimzam
bullshit anon, i refuse to believe that.

not even kidding here, it could happen and probably would happen to everyone if they really want it to.

I believe in you friend, If you don't believe in yourself then let me do it for you
The anticipation is killing me.
So you really like good music huh?
Do you have a favorite song?
If so what is it and are you serious that you think its even better than sex with love

Also your saying sex without love, even bareback ballsdeep jizzventure and all is only a bit better than tv?

I'm not questioning how you feel about all this I'm just clarifying
Being cut at most takes out like 1 inch that you might have otherwise had, but that's not what you should be worried about, its the sensation loss

Luckily medical technology is working to find a way to undo it check this shit out in like 5 years you can be uncut again

And yeah Im uncut
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>Believe in the Zim Zam that belives in you Anon
while im sifting around, i guess i should write for you guys and help pass the time
>You enter the quaint home, and you are greeted with the sights of a small green couch, kitchen with a bar and a few stools, a fireplace, and a tv sitting above.
>It's a nice quaint cottage-styled home.
>Fluttershy motions you over to the couch, where you sit down, and she shuffles into the kitchen, where you can hear something being poured
"This house is beautiful, how did you decorate it?"
>You then hear a loud crash and jolt up to investigate

>You are Fluttershy
>Anon just said that you were beautiful, and asked how you do it
>An intense heat rises to your cheeks as you kneel on the ground, broken cups of tea flowing in front of you
>Did you spill pasta aswell?
>You swear that you can smell spaghetti
>turning serious personal struggle into reply bait
Truly your skills in shitposting are unmatched.
thanks mr zimzam
Thanks, Kamina. I don't want to post too much with my /adv/-tier angst, so I'll just say that my goal is to be in a relationship that could become sexual within two years time, and I'm currently seeing a counselor to work through my issues with women.
And no I don't know what other anon your talking about
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Oh boy here we gooo
Here is my viewpoint on music, and love to a stint. Prepare for some feelsy views. If you couldn't tell by how much music I incorporate into my story, I love it. I am actually trying to learn guitar atm. I cannot hate any genre, I literally just went from smooth jazz, to death metal, to alternative when I was writing. Sex with love is wonderful and great, but as saddening as it is, love CAN cease to exist after things are said, done, or not said, and not done. Music has always been around for me and probably always will be. I love every type and don't have one favorite song. I do however have a favorite song for each genre which i am going to happily post. I love to share my music with people. Music and love do have the similarity that they can shift your emotions at a moment, from making you sad one moment, to pumped the next, to calm and so on. If i fell out of love with someone, I could write a song or relate to one and it helps.

I also don't watch tv, I much prefer the webspace because i can't meet and talk to other people with a tv like i am with you right now. I am not one of those people that crave interaction, but I'm a chill and easy going guy. I love meeting people and having friends and etc etc. I was actually debating dropping my steam so i could pal around with some of you fags sometime, cause i'm always down for it.

I am actually gong to be DMing a Pathfinder pony game with a friend soon, watch out for the thread, cause im going to re read the books and things and get it all set so i can ask for another player or two here, I would love if one of you guys was apart of the group

I encourage discussion anon, noone is too faggoty or cool to talk, don't sell yourself short.
I have an uncle who goes to a counselor for the same thing, good luck man [/spoiler
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Bruh, I get you. I'll never experience I think pretty much anything with another human anymore, I'm too far up the hole. You still have a chance though, Anon, you're younger, quicker and probably don't have a loaded gun in your drawer.
The shitposting talent increases as others decline; with shitposting you only dig yourself deeper into the unknowable abyss of darkness that is the true capabilities of a human's brain. You can get lost, and easily. I'm not trying to sound edgy, nor dark, but it is how it is.
The constant jokes and shitposts distract me from being me, a faglord with quite a horrible past, no present and no forseerable future.
You can at least try if you have nothing to lose, Anon.
Not using Clover
>fucking plebs
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drop those favorite songs for each genre plox
Also yeah steam would be great
But I have some kinda non politcally correct views and if you dig into my profile you will rapidly piece shit together
hitler did nothing wrong WHAT WHO SAID THAT

buuuuuuuut if you and the others wont get triggered over it then steam would be kewl
anyone here play Civ 5? I have like 1000 hours on it and I want to play multiplayer but without fucking quick speed and no animations which ruins warfare and thus the game
The jist of it is that my anxiety, combined with the fact that my previous "good girl waiting for marriage" girlfriend was fucking my friend behind my back, makes it hard for me to talk to women romantically; I drop more spaghetti than a large Italian restaurant chain serves in a year. The two year thing is because my strategy in approaching women is beta as fuck.
No, but I've got a large stockpile of pills. I know they're not a reliable method.
That being said, there is a way to escape the shitpost-cycle.
Can't flim flam the zim zam
I actually spent ten minutes of my life doing this
Can't flim flam the zim zam
Can't flim flam the zim zam
For whoever wants my steam, use guerilla mail and send an email to edfkaema at sharklasers dot com with your steam name. I know it looks sketchy but its a guerrilla mail disposable address. As much as I want to believe everyones chill, I've been here for many a year now, and know thats not the case

Sorry im only kinda here, im compiling the music list
It's cool. I'm just lurking while playing some vidya.
Can't flim flam the zim zam
There is a way, but not for me, though. You can escape it, Anon.

I'm gonna go write something.
tough as fuck situation anon, but i believe in waiting for chicks, so we can be beta together.
I dont like chasing poon, its fun sometimes but overall its a waste of time to me, would rather i wait for my "star cross" match. But if i see a chick i like, i try to be confident. Faking confidence usually works cause i get jellylegs inside.

I won't try to talk to you out of keeping those pills, its not my place. But I will say that you and >>26045041 are pretty cool mofos, and i would feel a loss if i never saw you guys around anymore. This is pretty cool to talk to you guys and I like the people that I am meeting as anonymous individuals.
What are you playing?
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Pretty chill thread. Kind of forgot where I was for a second.
Me too anon, i think we broke the social order
Arkham Asylum then Demon's Souls later.
alright fuck my email idea, my steam is Quintessential : First Edition If yall would message me which anon/what namefag you were or if you were just an interested rando, that would be cool
I would add you but my PC is being retarded.
The pills are depression medication, which I don't need anymore.
I wouldn't say that I wait for chicks, it's more that I try and work my way into her life until it feels only natural that we should get together. It works only very rarely, so I can't recommend it.
theres a lot of quintassentials, which pic are you
I am shaggy JoJo with the cigarrette
>my steam is Quintessential : First Edition
Uuh, is it your nickname or?..
Alright found you, I'm Trixie profile pic
still cant find you, just post a link to it
I've been in Anon's position. It IS overrated. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.
>Sex casually is like a cheese pizza
Fuck you.
Sure anon, lets make a cheese pizza
Sent you a request, profile pic is a dog in a bubble, and I'm the anon with the anxiety issue.
Can't flim flam the zim zam
This literally brought a tear to my eye

I feel so accomplished
Musak pt 1
Folk:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-i0tS-REco (This might actually be my favorite song. or one of these https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJdO4AyHeU8 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=947TNECYxm0)
Folk Rock:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsPLxVeLkpY
Folk Punk:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0dUnoecoZ0 or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVMT3MczEWE
Folk Rummic:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTzbbHGwFmw
Folk Metal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQwNyGoKtAM
Folk Indie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPyAEBe1x4I
Alternative:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egi0WwnbByk (Also a contender for best song, this one makes me feel)
Alt Indie:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAN4jumiblQ
Alt Rock:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQH8ZTgna3Q
Indie Rock:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u6DvRyyKGU
Punk Acoustic:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ1fgWl_HLc
Post Punk:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_k_qD_vqHk
Pop Punk (Ew, I know):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyW9KknfwLU
Oldie Bands:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAPEfdjvTqE
Oldie Rock and Roll (Doo Wop):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ar-fHMwm_A
Death Metal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFyTA04X44E and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQEf8oAjb8E (this is also a good as fuck one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFD6JAds1dc)
Fantasy Metal:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFH4lQuRd3s
Jazz Rap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a3-1TgyB6k
Hip Hop Rap:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxMIxGNzTc
Pop Synth:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XisOVzJ32_g
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Cant flim flam the zim zam
lol u r gay
I am T-money the phrophet of all troglodytes. Fear me.
Should've put their The new/Rest My Chemistry in Post Punk as well
Can't zim zam the flim flam.

Musak pt 2
Cut Up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Fk2BaM1la0 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEi9ZQrEjr8
Ska:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gql9220Qon8 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkLHS8BCTQE
Punk w/ horns: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GthhQsDPmg and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBj1aONf_sA (might know these guys from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn1pf0Xi3nU)
Some bastardization of raggae and rap:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GimK4MK5z1w
You fucked up son, now you get mildly diseased green and risky sex

Fuuuuck, your right

I was going pretty fast towards the end, that took a good bit cause i was trying to choose. Its so fucking hard to choose.
Holy shit, a smelly old guy
Guys this is probably the most chill fucking thread i have ever had the pleasure of being apart of, and the guys that i met and added are cool as fuck

Im gonna start writing, take no offense if i go silent for a bit
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Clover > 4chan X
Amirite bois?
tbqh I choose Clover because i can't find 4chan X...
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You chill as fuck too.
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>Alright, you can admit to yourself — her laughter is pretty cute
>And the snorting so others don't hear you two chatting
>The bell's ringin'
>You're finally free
>You don't wanna leave Dash, really
>You need to stay away from her now
>Don't need to test your luck on her becoming a faggot again

>Rainbow already packed her stuff
>"Hey, um, Anon..."
>"I... well... found out that we live on the same street, like, what a coincidence, right?"
"How... did you find out where I live?"
>"Not like I was following you or anything..."
>She stood up from her chair, throwing the bag on her shoulder
"You were following me?!"
>"N-no! Of course not! What am I, a creep?"
>all these dubs
Jesus Christ dude fucking calm down, leave some gets for me, alright? Geez
I did :^)
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Thanks based ZimZam
I'd recommend trying out appchan x.
Who's ur waifu? It's flutty, isnt it ?( even if she's not please let anon bang her.pretty please)
nope. waifu would be luna.
Dunno anon, let the lady decide for herself ;)

>"What do you mean "eh"? I'm not a creep, Anon!"
>Others start noticing you two
"Well, I mean I wouldn't think you were if you didn't say you were following me..."
>You remain still on you chair, waiting for Dash to leave first
>"Alright, alright, I was following you..."
>"Just once though!"
>She looks around and finds a guy staring at you
>Rainbow glares at him with a "What the heck are you looking at?" face

>And sits back, whispering
>"It's just... You never talk to anyone, I don't even know if you have any friends..."
"Well, I have you now, right?"
>"Y-yeah, you do!"
>Dash's arms wrap around you like a lightning
>"We're gonna be best friends, Anon!"
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I fucking love this addon
Which addon is it?
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>le twitch emotes meme
le Kappa
le FrankerZ
le DansGame
le ResidentSleeper
Yeah yeah real funny bro epic maymay xd
no, is Yandere Dash
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Can't flim flam the zim zam
/r/ing green about Dast with low self-esteem. Maybe because of small tits.
Don't worry about it man, you do good work and good things happen. Just promise me you won't stop.
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>dash and spaghetti tan have the same VA
I find this fact hilarious.
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To the Anon who wanted that edit. I tried.
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I second this
ALright hi it's GSW, I have my Writer's Glasses (+2 INT +1 PER -2 STR) on and I had too much liquor to drink and too much Interpol to listen to so there's your green faggots

>You are Anon
>And you are really confused right now
>It's 3am
>Your body is embraced by the warmth of darkness, with Luna's dim light shining through it, giving you at least something to do while you're

overanalyzing the situation you are in
>Tapping your fingers on the blanket, your blank stare goes through every object in the room

"Let's get this straight."
>You stand up and slowly walk to the window
"Rainbow's been following me at least once."
>You look out, glancing at the tree nearby
"She always acts strange when we're alone..."
"She's cute, though."

>"What's up?"
>You nearly fall out of the window
"Jeez, Dad!"
"Knock before you come in, alright?"
>"Just heard you mumbling about here. Kinda late for talking to yourself out loud, eh?"
>Yeah, Dad
>He comes closer and puts his hand onto your shoulder
"Your mask looks almost grey right now, heh."
>Yeah, in the moonlight
>Out on the sun it looks as good as new

>"Well, we all get older, right? Even my mask."
>That was not what you expected
>"So, what's all this bubblin' about? I'll help if I can, Anon."
"It's... Kinda personal."
>"Problems with females, right?"
>Every goddamn time
"Spot-on as always, Dad."
>"I don't have any advice to give you then."
>Dad started walking back to the door
"Well you met Mom somehow, right?"
>"We started dating after her friends got us together. We weren't that friendly before, seeing only bad things in each other."
>"Maybe something like this will happen to you, hope for the best, Anon."
>And before closing the door,
>"Good night, Anon, and good luck tomorrow."
Pizza Man
you forgot to factor in the alcohol's stats.
(+10 CHR -2 PER -1 INT)
Page 8 save!
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>>Your body is embraced by the warmth of darkness, with Luna's dim light shining through it, giving you at least something to do while you're

>Luna's dim light
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>"I'm going to be paid yet or what?"
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Pumb? Pumb!
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Hello cunts, a new tsundere thread.

I have a peculiar question for you.

Can I ask you to always keep your pastebins uptaded up to date? Hmm? I will appriciate that.
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A wild Fapman appeared and got nice numbers
I update my pastebin right after posting a part in the thread, all questions to ZimZam.
Howdy fapman

Sorry about that, I am kinda lazy with the bin, but ill kick myself inta gear for ye
I run and play tabletops on the regular. If be down for that
Can't flim flam the zim zam
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That's a very good tactic.


Well. I have something to read for to-morrow!

Good night and I wish you good winds, sailors.

>a meme
Eagerly awaiting more.
Bumping for Zim Zam
you niggers sent me lots more friend requests than i thought I would get
I woke up to a good bit more

thanks guys, really means a fuckton
>You are Anon
>You practically hurdle over the couch and your met with seeing Fluttershy on her knees, blushing and looking at the ground in a daze
>There is smashed glass and a metal kettle currently leaking out a steaming pale green liquid
>You rush over and help her up gingerly,
"Fluttershy are you alright? What happened?"

>You are Fluttershy once more
"O-oh nothing, must have just lost my balance."
>You give a nervouse laugh and brush yourself off
>You have to get ahold of yourself, Anon is going to think of you as wierd or something
"So, uh.. what as it that you asked me?"
>He looks puzzled for a moment, clearly confused as to what you mean, before he understands
>"I said that you had a beautiful house."
>Wait, does that mean that he doesn't think you're beautiful?
>What if you're just wasting your time?
"o-oh, thanks. i try to keep it nice and cozy."
>You give a dopey smile
>Anon probably hates you right now
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>On the next morning

>It's a beautiful day outside
>Flowers are blooming
>Birds are singing
>On days like this, kids like you...
>Gotta make things happen

>You see a particular group of girls near the "Horse Monument" as you liked calling it
>Not all of them, but that's exactly what you need
>There's only...
>Uh, Applejack?..
>And Sunlight, was it?
"Now or never, Anon."
>It's time
>You come over, approaching from the yellow one's back
"Uh... Hi."
>Daym, that air
>It's like she has wings or somethin'

>"Hi, Anon.", the bacon-haired one speaks up, paying no attention to the yellow rocket in front of her
"How do you know my name?"

>"Rainbow Dash won't shut up about you."
"Yeah, I wanted to talk about that, actually..."
>"We have it all set up, don't worry. We kinda spied on you and Dash and know what's going on."
I want to suck her nipples forever and leave her shuddering in ecstacy.
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got the bait
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"Urgh... Ok, I guess. Care to tell me your plan?"
>Baconhair moves closer to you, until she's inches away from your face
>Alright, maybe ask the other one, she could be more willing to communicate
>But you need to catch her alone...
>Looks like it's gonna be a long ride
>And you ain't you if it isn't worth it

>It's Wednesday, isn't it?
>English class first
>Now is the time to plan shit

>You take out your sketchbook
>You can't draw anyway
>First, gather information about everyone in their little group
>There're 6 of them, right?
>Should be

>Your main targer should be the one wearing her hat all the time
>She seems like the most helpful type

>Second in your priority-list must be the Yellow
>You've seen them enough to know that she's the quiet one
>The quiet ones are usually the most passionate...
>Fuck, you really should fap before going to school

>Alright, maybe you should know more about their names before starting this
>Well, you know how they look like, that should be enough for now
>Eh, just fuckin' write something in there
>1. Cowgirl
>2. Flutterslut
>3. The White Master Race
>4. The Pink Menace

>That should be enough

Can't flim flam the zim zam
I was writing some updates, and today im not really feeling it guys, sorry. i think that general's story would suffice

Im gonna update the bin and hang around
bumping for the cause
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So I guess you faggots decide the grill whe should start with.

No the anon but thank you
my life is complete. I finally have a wallpaper to fap to

Thanks general, your the best
Wrong person, but you're whalecum.
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>not the only one voting Gilda
Happy, but at the same time conflicted between her and flutters really.
Page 1 get
oh fuck my sides

your right i should have just gotten the dam image myself probably would have taken me less time then looking through the mess of pictures on my computer anyway
Bumping for Writefriends.
Oh, come on! Shes not even fuckable! You know who is? Flutterbutter
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I will admit fluttershy is pure sex
this thread is literally 90% bumps
Welcome to neo-/mlp/.

>aside from generals
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Can't flim flam the Zim Zam
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That is because ZimZam's dead and I was sleeping.
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>pic related
It's you.
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>Fluttershy won
Well, fuck.
This is gonna be fun
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Alright, so now Anon needs to find out the girls' plan until the end of the week.
Vote results:
Wednesday – Fluttershy
Thursday – Rararara
Friday – AJ
Saturday – Ponka
Sunday – Twalot Sporkle
her plan was to fuck my oc the whole time, but thats meta cause we know already
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Oohohoho boy, y'all know what I'm writing today then
get ready for lewd stuff boiss
Also bump
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>fuck my oc
Everybody would love to fuck this magnificent bastard, right?
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FTFY, faggot
Shit tonight, huge dump

Huuuuge dump
Fecal matter
Cause my story is shit
And have one more vote for Fluttershy.
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awwwwwww yiiiissssssss
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This is seriously one of the worst threads I have ever seen.
It's been a combination of my absence coupled with slow updates from gsw. Yeah it sucks but I gotta hop back I'm before I lose the interest in writing.

This thread is just us negotiating or bumping while we wait for the writefags. They're the only good thing in this thread

Not negotiating. Fuck autocorrect
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Well fucking try writing something yourself, it's quite calming actually once you get the hang of it, and making good content for people who are interested in it feels great.
Green in a bit, I'm really tired

I've seen worse

>slow updates from GSW
Quality > Quantity bruh
My body is ready for green
>quality > quantity
you lack both nigger.
Wow. Let me reply in your language.
sick burn mate
I agree with you, though. It's just a joke between us two, right zimzam?
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>10 hours ago
So is Zim dead or what.
He said that he will dump tonight
>You burst through the doors as you sprinted down the hall
>"Come back here you fucking pervert!"
>You are Anon and Rainbow Dash was currently chasing you
>Ever since you moved here both Rainbow Dash made it her number one goal to make you miserable.
>Right now you were running because you accidentally walked in on her changing in the gym
"I'm sorry!"
>"I don't give a fuck if you're sorry! You saw my fucking tits"
"They were pretty nice too!"
>That didn't come out how it was supposed to.
>Unfortunately your feet failed you and you (like the clumsy fuck you are) tripped and slid down the hall into the wall.
>Your body slammed into the wall at mach speed as Rainbow Dash too slid forward and smashed her heel into your stomach.
>Your air escaped your lungs as you clutched your stomach.
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Go on...
may aswell be holy shit
wow fagtron, you really got him with those hot opinions
writing? yeah i guess!
yeah, i really got to get my shit together now. havent been around for like 2 nights and alla yesterday
>You are Anon
>Fluttershy is acting really strange, and you aren't too sure why
>You don't question it just now, as you walk over to fetch a rag lying on the counter to wipe up the tea
>Fluttershy walks off to grab a broom, and you both clean up the mess
>The whole time, Fluttershy looks as if she's having an inner battle over something
>Goddamnit, you knew that she had to have known SOMETHING.
>You left the dance in an awkward daze after what you had said
>From your knowledge, the only other person to stand up to Dash like that is Gilda, and that's really only because they used to be friends
>Used to being a keyword
>After all of the tea and broken glass is cleaned, you both go sit on the couch awkwardly
>After a few minutes of awkward silence, Fluttershy starts to bite her lip, and sweat
>She still tries to make it seem like she's fine though
"Hey, Fluttershy, are you alright?"
>"Y-Yeah! It's just getting hot in here hehe."
>You deadpan her
"Fluttershy, what the hell is wrong?"
>She practically bursts into tears
>"Im sorry Anon! As soon as you came in I was acting weird and then I spilled our tea and you probably hate me for it! I would understand if you just wanted to leave."
>You get up off the couch, and walk over to Fluttershy, who is sniffling and sputtering over herself
>You kneel in front of her, and hug her
>She hugs you back, and you can feel her tears soaking into the back of your shirt
"Fluttershy, if I hated you then I wouldn't have come. Let me try to cheer you up."
>You pick her up and lay her on the couch, laying next to her and holding her
>She makes a wonderful little spoon.
>In a short time her whimpers grow silent and she looks you in the eyes
>"Anon, do you think I'm pretty?"
>You brush a stray pink strand of her gossamer hair out of your way
>You kiss her forehead and you both lay there until you see the sun goes down and Fluttershy's breathing becomes slow and shallow
>You grab a nearby blanket and lay it over her, kissing her cheek before you walk out of the front door and grab your phone to text Sunset
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He has returned, everything is in peace now
yes, do go on
well then
We gotta have Anon take all of rainbows friends now; leave her with nothing bitch
>You wheezed as you clutched your stomach
>An open palm smacked into your temple as your head collided with the ground.
>As stars danced around your head she gripped your shirt and brought you up to her face.
"GAH! Fuck, I'm sorry!"
>"Give me two reason why I shouldn't beat the shit out of you."
"It was an accident! And ugh...."
>An open palm collided with your cheek.
>"Go on!"
"I-I'm sorry! It was an accident I was just trying to take a shortcut through the lockers!"
>Again a palm smacked into your face
>"That's a horrible excuse!"
"Um, oh, can you like fuck me up after you finish changing?"
>"What are you talking about idiot?"
"Maybe you should look down at yourself and realize you're wearing"
>A blush spread across her face as she glanced down.
>She released your shirt and stood up.
>"Meet me after school. The soccer field."
>You nodded as she walked away stealing a look at her butt.
>Wonder what your punishment is going to be.
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Its a good thing.
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Go on.
>The bell rang as you packed your stuff up.
>Slinging your backpack over your shoulder you walked out of class.
'Maybe you can avoid this entirely?"
'Run away from home'
'Head to Mexico'
'Change your name to Alejandro'
'Nah, that won't work'
>"Hey buddy!"
>An arm wrapped around your neck as you glanced to the side.
>Soarin, you think he's the captain of the Boys Soccer team?
>"I heard about your little problem with Dashie."
>Dashie? Oh, this is fucking gold.
"Dashie? Are you guys a thing?"
>A chuckle escaped from his lips as he led you through the hall.
>"Nah bro, me and her have more like a brother sister relationship going on."
>I guess you're safe.
>"Anyways, I'll let you in on something."
"Go ahead."
>"RD was talking about you during lunch."
>Aww shieet
>"Don't worry. It wasn't bad."
>"It was mostly how she was gonna make you her bitch."
>Record scratch.
>"Let me give you some advice. Rainbow is an extremely competitive chick. Chances are she'll challenge you to a game of soccer or a wrestling match."
>That doesn't sound too bad.
>"Worst case scenario is she challenges you to a fist fight. Which she probably will because you saw her changing."
"She TOLD YOU?!"
>"She just said 'Someone was peeking at me in the lockers while I was changing'. No names at all!"
"Then why the fuck you assume I was spying on her"
>As you got closer to the entrance, Soarin removed his arm from around your neck.
>"Well, I mean you do look like a creep. You are unshaven. Your fingers have Cheetos residue on them."
"Ight, that's enough"
>You whisper as you wipe your orange fingers on jeans.
>"Well, here it is Tiger. The entrance. What song you want me to play during the procession ceremony? Bon Jovi? Skrillex? Darude? Rise Against?"
>You ignore him as you walk down the steps and towards the soccer field.
>As you got closer you can make out Rainbow Dash
>And the girls soccer team.
God Damnit ZimZam get off your lazy ass and write more faggot.
>The entire soccer team
Oh fuq.
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Go on
>You slowly trudged up as Rainbow Dash glanced at you and waved you over a smug grin on her face.
>"Look who showed up."
>The entire team stared at you as you sheepishly waved back.
>You did recognize a few of these faces.
>Lyra and that weirdo she hung out with. Well, they're both weirdos.
>That one southern grill who probably fucks her family members.
>Won't be surprised if she does.
>Spitfire. She has a curvy figure. Unf
>"H-hi Anon!"
>A grey hand waved at you.
>Derpy. If you remember correctly she actually has a crush on you. A really big one. Like she'll sneak notes into your locker with really fucked up disgusting things.
>Your dad would be proud.
>More like would be laughing at you knowing the school clutz fell in love with you.
>"Helloooo? Are you going to stand there like a dumbfuck or are you going to walk over here?"
>You were surprised. Most of the time when someone is caught spying on someone they'll get throttled on the ground and get theirs asses kicked.
>Most of the girls on the team were smiling at you.
>"Soooo, Anon I have a little challenge for you!"
>Please, let it be sports.
>"I challenge you to a one on one game of soccer."
>She leans in and gets up close into your personal space.
>"Loser has to do something for the loser."
"Seriously? Can't you just kick my ass and get over it?"
>"Anon you're lucky, I won't pummel your ass into the fucking ground because frankly I like you."
"Like me enough to not beat the shit out of me and let this all go?"
>A swift slap rung out as her hand connected with your face.
>"Don't get cocky."
>She lobs the ball into the air and kicks it toward the goal.
>The ball hit the net with a swish.
>"Now, let's go."
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Anon is going to get his ass handed to him.
>"Loser has to do something for the loser"
I meant winner

>The ball soared past you as it hit the net.
>Rainbow Dash was winning by three points while you had...
>"Anon, are you even trying?"
>She juked left as she sprinted past you toward the goal.
>Glancing over to the side you saw Soarin'
>He was waving his hands around like one of those Wacky Waving inflatable tube guys in front of the auto dealerships.
>The ball hit the back of your head as you glanced back at Rainbow Dash.
>"Hey did you forget something?!"
"Can this game wait?"
>"It's now or never pussy."
>She kicked the ball over your head as it hit the net.

I'll continue tomorrow. Sorry for any mistakes. I'm on mobile. ;-; Keep it bumped.
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Zim Zam,

We miss you.

Warmest reguards,
Security guard Anon from last thread.
yeah no
this is shit

dash is a cunt who sounds like she should be in a juvenile detention center from how fucking violent she is
Can you write more? I like the relationship here.
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I passed out while writing, was really fuckin' tired.
>After a lengthy wait, Sunset's car rolls up into the drive way.
>You walk over and open the car door, revealing Gilda to have been driving>
>"Hop in Anon, I think we got shit to talk about"
>She says it casually, but it still doesn't sound too good
>There isn't any music playing either.
>You slide into the passenger seat, taking the cigarette that Gilda offers you, as you both back out of the driveway and get back onto the main road
>After a short silence, Gilda regards you
>"Anon, I don't know what the fuck to make of you."
>"You were such a nice guy, and you still are around certain people, but you've taken to Sunset and I like we were who you've been waiting for your whole life. I mean, with the shit that has only gone down in a matter of days, we became good friends fast, and I don't want that to be a mistake. Sunset and I act tough, and you bet your shit we are, but we aren't without our scars."
>She sighs and shakes her head, putting her eyes back on the road
>"Anon, I guess what I'm asking, is if its legit."
>You want to laugh off her fears, to ease the situation, but you see she is being dead ass serious
"Of course Gilda, you guys are like family I never really had. "
>Gilda looks down and says something under her breath that you can barely hear
>"Y-you too..."
>The rest of the drive is met in silence until Gilda pulls up in front of your house
>You get out and begin to head for the front door when you hear the window roll down
>"Hey Anon, and one more thing!"
>You walk over to the driver side window
>And Gilda pulls you in for a rough kiss
>You force eachothers tongue into your mouths and they wrestle for minutes
>Much too soon, the kiss is over and your both left dazed
>She rolls up the window and drives away
Sorry Anon, sucks that shit comes up but now I could be in a legal battle soon.
But now that im heading back to work tomorrow, I can come home and write
> “Anon, I just find it worrisome that you might be falling in with the wrong crowd. Celestia was very concerned about these Gilda and Sunset characters and their track records. You have a name to preserve Anon, and I would hate for you to tarnish the vast legacy our family has for some twisted sense of fun. Your mother is also worried that you might pick up bad habits from them as well as I am.”
“Look, dad…” You strain. “Dad, I’m just making some friends. You always tell me about how I need to go out and meet people, well now that I am you just want to keep me pinned up again.”
> “Anon, I won’t tell you how to live your life…but I would hate to think you would associate yourself with someone of lower caliber than yourself. What would people say about you? What about me?”
>Lower caliber?
>You were never easy to piss off, but that struck a nerve somewhere deep inside you.
“So what you’re saying is that because they aren’t some high class prudes that have steel rebar up their asses, they aren’t fit for me to be around and that I should avoid the unwashed peasantry?”
> “Anon that’s not what I said first of all, and second of all I just want you to make the right decisions for your future.”
“Is it my future dad?”
>The other side of the phone went dead silent.
> “Look Anon, I-”
“Dad…just don’t…”
>You hear an exasperated sigh on the other end.
> “I have some work I need to take care of Anon. Your mother is supposed to be home by Christmas, I will be home before New Year’s. Please Anon, stay out of trouble and please don’t do anything rash.”
“Didn’t plan on it dad. I will see you both then I guess.”
> “Alright Anon, see you then.”
>Your phone beeps twice notifying you the phone call was over.
>Piece of shit.
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>>Gilda looks down and says something under her breath that you can barely hear
>>"Y-you too..."
fucking kek
That sun bitch went over your mask!
He's got a good relationship with his parents.
Celestia is the new top cunt
Welcome back to the land of the living in that case GSW
>You walked back into your bedroom to see Sunset still lying in the same position you left her in.
>She had came and spent the night after Gilda had left, Gilda instead opting to come that morning, but rather than stay sleeping on the couch in the living room, she snuck into your room.
>Needless to say, you did very little sleeping.
>Sunset almost seemed to feed on sex.
>Like she was absorbing some kind of energy from it.
>Because after every round, she got more and more energetic.
>Increasingly desperate for more.
>More ravenous.
>Begging and pleading with you for just once more…
>But even you had limits.
>Sunset however, was contented to sleep in your bed with you through the night.
>Even if she did wake you up multiple times throughout the night by various methods.
>It was odd going from sleeping alone to having someone there with you all throughout the night.
>However, when you had gotten up, you had disturbed Sunset as she rolled over as you lay back down.
> “Who was that?”
“Dad, just checking in with me.”
> “What time is it?”
“Six AM.”
> “Damn, why is it so fucking early?”
“He’s in Sweden, it’s like nine in the morning there.”
>She nods and stretches her neck, eliciting a few quiet popping noises.
>Sunset refused to sleep with clothes on, and made you fully aware of that fact shortly after she woke you up with a blowjob.
>You wrap your arms around her and pull her close, her breasts pressing against your chest.
>You see her yawn and close her eyes, drifting back to sleep.
>Don’t make it weird Anon.
>Why did that keep echoing in your head when you were around her?
>Don’t make it weird.
>It seemed to be an easy concept, but it was really fucking hard for you.
>As you run over things in your mind, you find yourself unable to go back to sleep.
>Fuck it, you were awake now.
You went over my helmet?
>Sunny in heat
>Standing, you start to go through your daily routine as quietly as possible.
>Shower, shit, shave, teeth, coffee.
>Every day.
>You grab a set of clothes you laid out the night before and throw them on.
>As you walk into the living room, you notice the back door open.
>Curious, you walk out onto the back porch to find Gilda leaning on the rails smoking a cigarette.
>The cool early morning air felt brisk against your skin.
> “Morning Anon, didn’t know you woke up this early.”
“Yeah, my dad called me from Sweden; time zones are all fucked up.”
>She nods as she took a long drag on her cigarette.
> “I couldn’t get any sleep either. Was just thinking all night." She pauses to take another puff of her cancer stick, "I saw Sunny's car when I walked over, and I figured you two were fooling around, so I let myself in for when you were finished."
>You feel a little embarrassed but play it off.
>Don’t make things weird.
“You seem pretty casual about the whole thing.”
> “Eh, I just don’t care really. I mean, Sunset and I do things to help relieve ourselves, why is it any different when it’s you and her?”
>Made sen-
>Hold on a fucking second.
“So wait, you and Sunset have fucked around?”
> “Yeah? What of it?”
>She gives you a sideways glance before leaning back on the rail and exhaling again.
> “Hell, she’s taught me how to do shit I never would have thought of to both guys and girls.”
>She noticed your look of disbelief and chuckled a bit under her breath.
> “Don’t act all surprised Anon, you act like I’m incapable of having sex or some shit.”
>Fair enough.
“What’s her deal anyway? Why does she always want to fuck?”
>Gilda grinned at you and shook her head.
> “Your probably the only guy who would say that like a bad thing, but you want to know my honest opinion?”
>She leans in.
> “I think she feeds off it somehow. Ya know, like a succubus or some shit.”
Shame no kids though
Threesome when?
“So wait, you and Sunset have fucked around?”
> “Yeah? What of it?”
"Need some new material for my morning showers. Toss me some details, fuzzbutt."
3some soon? Maybe with suckubut sunset.
We need Gilda corrupted into a mega semen demon by Sunny's powers going wild.
>You ask that barely above a whisper, as if afraid she would hear.
>The look on your face must have struck her as particularly funny, as she had to restrain herself from laughing.
> “Pfft fuck no Anon, that would be stupid as shit. She just likes to fuck, and now that she’s got a guy she can watch closely to make sure he won’t run his mouth to his buddies, she’s getting her fill of dick. Making up for lost time I guess.”
>She punches you in the shoulder while shaking her head.
> “But yeah, she says she hadn’t been with a guy since Flash dumped her”
>Wait, WHAT
“She was Flash’s girlfriend?”
> “Yeah, you didn’t know that? They had a thing going for a while; she was really different back then. Found out Flash was fucking five other girls behind her back, people thought she was just uptight back then but then she went full bitchmode. Then after whatever the fuck happened at the fall formal that one year when that Twilight chick came onto the scene, she kind of went quiet. Flash cleaned up to keep Twilight around, but they both share the "Rich, Smart, and Popular" bullshit. Started hanging out with Twilight and her friends, but Twilight was a stuck up bitch to Sunny, so she left. She was an outcast like me so we started hanging out, one thing led to another, and we kind of became friends. We clicked you know?”
>It almost seemed like the most typical fall from grace story ever.
>Straight out of a Disney movie where people were allowed to get farther than a kiss.
> “But we all have our reasons for what we live like. C'est la vie.”
>Gilda was a walking enigma at times.
>And you fucking loved it.
“Never saw you as one that would know any French.”
> “Class is not exclusive to criminality, besides, the dumb criminals are the ones that get caught Anon.”
>Hell if you could get her into a cocktail dress and teach her some table manners, you wonder if dad would know the difference between her and a proper lady.
>legal battle
Whats happening zim?
I myself am about to have to destroy my hard drive and get a new one to elimate any possibility of getting vanned
>inb4 cp
No that's not it but I can't say what it is

>tfw I learned about my fuck up just today
>tfw I learned that the chances of them coming after me are low but still there
>tfw I learned I have 3 months minimum if they show up
>tfw its a good thing I am so aware of shit
Triple date to get anon's parents off his back when?
Gilda would make a good Catwoman in a latex suit.
Then put wings on that bitch
what you do man
you been giving out them warez?
Pull an Ackroyd and set up a tripwire that wipes your drive when your computer gets siezed or moved. Careful for the Internet Defense League Anon, can i have what your getting rid of?

But yeah, was visiting my dad and my new stepmom who had whipped my father into submission. She got pissy and layed hands on me this morning so i pushed her off and warned her not to do it again. Shit got nasty so pops and i bounced for the day, until tonight when she forced us out of the house, which doesn't have her name on it. This landwhale tried to push me into a wall and I did warn her earlier, so I kinda fucked her up within reason. Waiting to see if the report just gets written off as self defense
Good luck
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Something that is actually pretty minor and is only a crime if there is intent behind it, it's one of those things that even if they can prove 100% that you did it unless they can also somehow prove that it wasn't an accident then they can't convict you, buuuuuut there is a big difference between "we can't convict you but we can get (probable cause) and arrest you and you may or may not get bond until the trial when you BTFO us.

I don't want to deal with any of that shit and the vast majority of the shit on my hard drive I never access anymore anyways.

>Pull an Ackroyd and set up a tripwire that wipes your drive when your computer gets siezed or moved.

No I'm going to smash the physical hard drive to bits with a hammer, light the bits on fire, and then bury the bits in separate locations.

I don't know why no one ever thinks to physically destroy the thing itself rather than "wipe" it when if the FBI or whoever else is after you has a big enough hard on for not letting it go then eventually they can recover the data, unless the device it was housed on no longer physically exists.

Also yeah like he said >>26069618
good luck
*There is a big difference between we can't convict you
And we can get "probable cause" and arrest you and you may or may not get bond until the trial when you BTFO us.
cause mnigga, drives cost cash and i can just make a bootable USB with torrented Windows on it.

Thanks, im gonna need some. but this isnt the first time on her rap sheet, and that was honestly so fucking satisfying it scares me. Im a really chill and easygoing dude, honestly kinda a pacifist unless you fuck with someone i really care about. I can ignore insults and really i play vidya with some dudes that always shat on my stories and they just kinda felt bad and came around. I'm not one for fighting, but I could hold my own atleast.

>Party manners were the mark of intelligence to him.
>Not who people were.
>Same with your stupid mother.
“What about you Gilda? Why do you do what you do?”
> “Boredom.” She says with a smirk. “Living life as a number marching to and fro as a good law abiding citizen just didn’t appeal to me, and it still doesn’t. The schoolwork in the classes we take is watered down and tasteless and serves no other purpose than to regiment us into good little robots for the suited and tied fucks at the top to use as cannon fodder and slave labor. The only guaranteed freedom we have is the freedom to obey. Me? I prefer to make my own paths and that’s what gets me in so much trouble. Why live as an insignificant piss ant on your knees when you have the means and know how to rise above it all?”
>And you thought the French was a surprise.
>Never once had you thought that Gilda would be so deep.
>She shrugged and threw her cigarette butt into a nearby trash can.
> “What’s your deal Anon? Why did you reach out to us and start down this road?” She asked with a plain demeanor.
>You…honestly hadn’t thought about it…
>At first it was revenge, and you certainly had gotten your fill of that.
>But…why did the idea of carrying it on make you feel so good?
“I don’t know I guess.”

Captcha : Cult Personality
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Fuck it I guess if I word it right it won't hurt.
Just read between the lines.
I accidentally entered the wrong card information on a site to try to get a premium account for free, didn't work and was automatically logged out and blocked from using the site without a proxy.

Lawyer says the odds of them reporting it are pretty low and even if they do the odds of the cops actually coming after me over it are pretty low.

But this isn't the first time I've opened myself to the internet cops becoming real cops, and the last time I was arrested and had to spend the night in jail because the bitch magistrate wouldn't give me bond, luckily the judge gave me PR bond and now the case is about to be dropped with nothing on my record.

I will not let me guard down again, never again.

Pic is vaguely related.
> “Here I was thinking you were the smart one of this outfit, you will probably find out sooner or later why you do anything. You have basically been a shut in until now, maybe you will figure it out sooner rather than later. Who fucking knows? More importantly, who really cares why you do anything? For all I gave a shit, you could do it because you got off to it.”
>You shake your head and start laughing and are followed by Gilda.
> “Come on, let’s go get some coffee. We got school today.”
“What about Sunny?”
> “Right here Anon.”
>She was dressed and up, and obviously cleaner.
> “Come on out Sunny, me and Anon just out here shooting the shit.”
>Sunny joined both you and Gilda on the rail, taking the opposite side of you.
> “So what are we eating for breakfast Anon?”
“We can go to that little café near the school if you want.”
> “That sounds pretty good.” Sunset said with a nod. “I don’t have any money though.”
>Before you can offer to pay Gilda speaks up.
> “I got it for you guys, it’s my turn to pay anyway.”
>Not one to argue, you silently agree.
>You glance at your watch and note it was already going on four.
>How long had you been out here with Gilda?
> “Hey Gilda, spare a smoke?”
> “Yeah, here you go.” She said pulling the pack out of her jacket and offering it to Sunset.
>She goes to pocket the cigarettes again but stops.
>"You want one Anon?"
>She hands you the small cylinder of tobacco, and you place it in your mouth.
>Gilda lights it with her signature Zippo and you all sit outside, enjoying the silence

Think im good for now, might come back later though
Ive been around too many fat fucks that act like that so I got a short fuse myself.
>stealing credit cards.
mommy won't let use the credit card on some membership, timmy?
It legitimately wasn't stealing though. Just so happens I accidentally messed up the last two digits of my own card.
Drugs? Meth? Ill roll with Science

Shitty man, internet cops have hardons nowadays, and you hear about newfags using tor as if its an end all to getting caught.
The pic is just supposed to represent illegality
you said read between the lines
I guess there was no way for you to know exactly what I'm talking about, but like I said I accidentally messed up the last two digits of my own card, I don't even remember what the last two digits were. I guess they were just random.
They're very cozy criminal delinquents.
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Yeah its really not, from now on anything legally questionable I do will have to be on some random laptop bought off craigslist with a full on suite of proxies and other shit, on public wi fi and making sure I'm not facing any cameras.

Just gotta suck it up and get rid of my current hard drive, I can write down any critical account information like steam and shit, just install a new Windows 7 on the new drive, and then re-download all my games and make new notepads with all my account information on them.

The porn and 3 year old reaction images aren't worth risking jail time.
Thats the thing, when you cut it close once, you learn right the fuck quick and then you do shit nervously. Its always when you get comfy you slip up

I actually grabbed a new drive recently and fucked up the moving shit over, lost my reactions folder filled with old b memes
>Lost my Ipod, time to die

But since im in the market, illl take a mediafire of that reaction folder :^)

Criminality doesn't necessitate dickery or thuggishness. I knew some dudes who were literally the type I thought would heist in suits. Probably grown up to be Reservoir Dogs IRL by now
My dads side of the family knew a friendly neighborhood hitman who used to regale him with stories of his jobs.
And by neighborhood I mean he bunked with my dad once he got out of jail because he was friends with my grandpa.
>Criminality doesn't necessitate dickery or thuggishness.
Absolutely fucking this, fuck the government and fuck most of the laws it makes.
We aren't the bad guys, they are.

Yeah media fire is a great idea, I'll upload all my reactions and then re-download them.

I guess the porn I will too.

But there's one catch, they couldn't somehow transfer bits of proof that what happened happened could they?
as long as the proof isnt in the file, pretty sure they couldn't anon.

Ill steal that reactions folder right away if you did make a mediafire, but dont be that guy and put some shady shit in there to fuck with my system. Not to say you wouuuuld, but it sucks being friendly and having to remember where we are
You know any? that sounds really fucking badass and I could use a good tale.
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> “Boredom.” She says with a smirk. “Living life as a number marching to and fro as a good law abiding citizen just didn’t appeal to me, and it still doesn’t. The schoolwork in the classes we take is watered down and tasteless and serves no other purpose than to regiment us into good little robots for the suited and tied fucks at the top to use as cannon fodder and slave labor. The only guaranteed freedom we have is the freedom to obey. Me? I prefer to make my own paths and that’s what gets me in so much trouble. Why live as an insignificant piss ant on your knees when you have the means and know how to rise above it all?”
>tfw no gt 3.14 crime partner gf
what the hell? how did i not notice this?

Everyone wants that sick bomber-jacket pussy i suppose
Nah, I don't really know any of them.

I only know of one where he said the guy he was hired to take care of was a really nice guy and was sad to see him go.
Kinda hilarious the way he worded it. The last my dad heard of him he was heading to Chicago for a job and just disappeared. So he's probably long dead now.
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Also guys I shit you not, the anon talking about card numbers and destroying hard drives is actually in college and majoring in physics, aiming to get a PHD.
I actually really felt bad for that, hitmen probably have one of the most tortured "Just do the job, and dont feel anything" lives ever.

Shitty to have jobs where all you know is killing and it ends with you getting killed or homeless, look at vets
that gif gets me every fucking time, and damn. For real?
The shit that always gets me is how the fuck do you even get into that line of work?
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>So, who should you start with?
>Yeah, Flutchick will do
>You heard that she works in that animal shelter nearby from your classmates
>That information... could be useful
>You need to catch them alone
>Yeah, could work
>Now you just need to stay alive here
>And draw some stuff to pass the time


>Yeah that'll do
>So, the whole day has passed
>That was the easy part
>You put away your sketchbook with 6 little faces drawn in it, to check your status on everyone
>And with an "X" beside Sunset, she won't help you with this anymore
>You get out of the classroom and head for the exit
>You reckon by the time you remember how to get to the shelter, Fluttershy will be there already
>Was it on the oppesite corner to Sugarcube?
>Yeah, it was
>But the real question is, where the fuck is Sugarcube Corner?
>You get out your Orange™ phone
>No Internet connection...
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Yeah I know its so fucking random lol like what the hell did he think was gonna happen?
And yeah I shit you not.

Money I guess
>You have the Canterlot map downloaded, right?
>Walking over to get out of the way of students rushing from school like a stream of water, you click on the Maps icon
>Yeah, you do have the maps downloaded
>But you can's search for Sugarcube Corner, only for a street...
>Looks like you have to get out of your comfort zone once again and ask...
>Something heavy just hit you from behind, but you managed to stay still
>Turning around, you finally see a familiar face
>"H-hi Anon! Sorry!"
>She waves at you, smiling sheepishly
>She's the cutest thing ever, ain't she?
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"Nah, don't worry about it, Derps."
>You help her get up
"So how's life?"
>"Well, great since you're here."
"So you /do/ miss me, eh?"
>You and Derpy used to be neighbours, until she moved
>And with that she changed her group, for some reason
>"Yeah... But it's the only negative thing for me right now."
>"Alright, second most negative thing..."
"The first being?..."
>"The fact that I can't hug you anymore."
>She latches her arms onto you
>And squeezes you with all her Derp might
>And she won't be left without a hug as well
"I missed you too, Derp."
>"You wanted to ask me about something, right?"
"How'd you know?"
>"I can see it, silly."
>She stares into you with her amazing yellow eyes
>And you can tell she's serious, because they're normal now
"Yeah, I do want to ask you..."
"...Where is Sugarcube Corner?"
Used to have a buddy that was heavy into drug dealing as a kid, turned into a supplier by 17.
Its usually connections. tfw you have so many shady connections that you must look like a crimelord or shady motherfucker to other anons

No I mean like, how do you get into it? Just chatting with a buddy:
"Man, fuck Dave. I wish someone would just shoot him or something."
"Fuck it, gimme $10 and I'll take care of it."

Also, how do you advertise that shit?
I got no connections.

I don't even got no friends.
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Don't worry ZimZam, I've been into even wierder shit.
Aaaand I'm back to being dead again
Chekt, and Ive seen a few hitmen advertisements on the darkweb. You never see that shit around anywhere else, atleast in the real world or the clearnet. You gotta do a fuckton of digging I imagine
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>tfw only know zim zam through a 4chan thread an steam
>tfw no chance of being buddies with zim zam irl

I imagine that you have to be fairly proficient with guns and shooting, be willing to kill anyone if you are payed "enough" whatever your price is, could vary depending on the target(s), and all business transactions would be done in person with paper money or over the internet with bitcoins on the dark web behind over 9000 proxies on free public wifi with a used laptop bought off of craigslist.
>into even wierder shit
Oh boy, now I have to know!
I thought we were friends anon, I thought all of us were friends...
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>tfw I picked the wrong reaction image
>I imagine that you have to be fairly proficient with guns and shooting
Well, not necessarily. Wouldn't be too hard to shove a gun in someones back and pull the trigger five or six times.
I meant if your gonna do it like a professional with a silenced sniper rifle from 500 feet away.
>now I have to know
Later, it's much worse than just drug dealing, I can tell you that
Also I don't know why but for some reason I keep thinking of this song when thinking about having to destroy my hard drive and get a new one with a new OS

Anything could happen, I fly for free cause my mother is actually a flight attendant and Im on a hotlist ayyy

Gonna go arounnnnd the woooorld to see everyone in this thread

plus if we have the same games, we could chill m'boy
I really don't think that's how most hits are accomplished.
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ya can tell me over steam pal, im always around
>you have to be very proficient with guns
>price varies depending on the targets
>all transactions are in paper money
Can confirm
Where are you from anyways zim?
>inb4 thats classified
I can say I'm from the east coast of the US
Later when I'm on my new hard drive I can say more

Your right, but that's how I would do it if I could.
GSW you are just a ball of intrigue to me and i love it.
>>all transactions are in paper money
think that would be a no brainer
Maaaaan, Anons in here have a bunch of shady experience and all i've done is sneak into a historical fort and pee in a cannon.
Bitch you best pray I don't report you to /k/
I have done nothing illegal ever since I have no reason to.
is a thing. I was in the business before BC was that popular, though.
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>all i've done is sneak into a historical fort and pee in a cannon.
It's like your just walked out of kindergarten or something

General you best be joking me, no way i know a fucking hitman for real

And my bitch ass is over here playing Osu and writing music
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Bitch nigga when your on the internet for years on end and you go way above and beyond what any normie ever does (all they do is facebook) and you actually browse /b/ and chans in general, you run into all kinds of people and see all kinds of shit

I've had non-chalant conversations with serial killers before giving me advice on how to dispose of bodies in case I ever need it.

It's nothing special after a while.
>I've had non-chalant conversations with serial killers before giving me advice on how to dispose of bodies in case I ever need it.
I know those feels.

Truly a magical place, innit?
The most magical places (4chan isn't the only chan)
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
No no, Ive been around darkchan, 7chan been around here for a good chunk of my life, and had some crazy talks with necrophiles, serial rapists, blah blah
but knowing a hitman completes my shady friends set, its like trading cards

Really is, huh?
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Do you guys (and any other anons here)
Think I'm just being paranoid about destroying my current hard drive and getting a new one?
I have plenty of money but 150 for a new drive and new OS will sting, plus I have a lot of sentimental value with all the random shit on my computer, it's like an archive of my life ever since early February 2013

I mean I will do it if I must, but what do you guys think?
I didn't say it did that recently.
But yeah, I lead a very dull life.
I think that you could set up mediafires or MEGAs of the shit you want to keep. I think destroying it would be overkill, but I do want that reactions folder.

set up a killswitch for if it does get siezed, ackroyd got off not guilty cause of his shit mate, try doing one of them
Impossible, if your on 4chan your automatically edgy.
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Like I think this is the very first picture on my hard drive, back in early February 2013

It doesn't say the date for some reason but I remember it, plus I have lots of other shit that does say dates, even in February 2013

How does a killswitch work on a pc and how?
*And how is it activated?
>$ for a new OS
Just get a pirated Win7 on a fucking flash drive or something.
>sentimental value
I had to dump my old hard drive from 2003 in 2009, had all my shit on there

Sets everything in teh BiOs to 0. and if you know how to use a virtual machine, you can format a drive with it too all in one go
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I was raised by a woman who went through AA and a heart surgeon, went to tiny private schools with people i had very little in common with all my life, dropped out of college, can't drive, never drank or smoked, and don't have a job.
I don't have a whole lot going on.
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So I guess thats a "not being too paranoid do it faggot" from the former hitman?

I don't really feel like I'm skilled enough with computers to do it, I mean I know a lot more than a normie but I'm no uber 1337 haxor
This, you can use PowerISO to make a flashdrive bootable and manipulate the ISO files from the torrent.
not sure how to do it with a tripwire, im sure google knows or you could find some shit in the deepweb on how to scram the fuck out
well then anon, i don't want to just say "do shit" cause sometimes thats really hard if your in a rut. Atleast you have chans and anons to keep you company like now so that you can be around a ton of guys that hold same interests and keen stories to make you apart of something like a camraderic brotherhood of sorts
That and porn.
I have plenty of porn.
>360 story hits on the bin
you guys are absolute mongrels, this shit isnt even that good. you all have shit taste in authors and story.
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I mean look at this pic look at how much of a new fag I was lol

Just to reiterate, it was a website that wants to jew you like 30 bucks a month or something for "premium" when the default version is basically just designed to draw you in and make you want the premium since you can't do shit with the default.

So I accidentally messed up the last two digits of my card and all digits of the cvc a few times because I'm a fucking retard, until finally it blocked me out by IP.

And other anons have warned me that they will be coming to talk to me at some point, one said he had experiance with this stuff and said it would be 3 months minimum, and said I needed to destroy the drive.

I mean look at this pic look at how much of a new fag I was lol

Just to reiterate, it was a website that wants to jew you like 30 bucks a month or something for "premium" when the default version is basically just designed to draw you in and make you want the premium since you can't do shit with the default.

So I accidentally messed up the last two digits of my card and all digits of the cvc a few times because I'm a fucking retard, until finally it blocked me out by IP.

And other anons have warned me that they will be coming to talk to me at some point, one said he had experiance with this stuff and said it would be 3 months minimum, and said I needed to destroy the drive.

headed to bed, you kids play nice now

or else i can come back with the belt
when im off of work tomorrow

sleep well
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Zim Zam
W-what if I LIKE getting hit w-with a belt?
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