>"What will it be, Anon? Loyalty to your country, or loyalty to me?"
I love America so much that I'd gladly kill millions of pastel horses to keep her safe.
Liberté, égalité, fraternité
"there are things on this world worth protecting!"
Please tell me this pic isn't real christ my sides
There was a time when I would have chosen you.
There is another.
He will make America great again.
Seriously? Who the fuck can't swim these days, man?
Whiter than snow.
Always sank to the bottom.
Never had an opportunity to learn.
On the plus side, I'm abnormally tall, so I can stand on the floor of the deep end of certain swimming pools.
Loyal to my country
To me the task is a loathsome one. I go in the spirit of the soldier who acts against his best judgment at the orders of his superior.
I've told you before, your Majesty, a man cannot serve two masters. I cannot pledge my loyalty to you. But, true loyalty is no unquestioning. To be truly loyal, you must protect what you are loyal to from all threats, even those brought on by their own mistakes. Were my countrymen to find a way to Equestria, intent on exploiting this beautiful world, I would stand against them even going so far as to spend my life, to protect my country from making an awful, irredeamable mistake.
If you can't accept that, if you don't believe me, then strike me down now. I have no regrets.
>you never expected your career with the CIA to end like this
>you always figured you'd get offed by the Ruskies, or even the goddamn Chinese, but to get caught by talking ponies? Jesus. You'll never live this down, even if you do survive.
>fortunately, not even magic can stop 9mm hollowpoints
>but then again, maybe you could just pretend to flip on the Agency
>after all, Equestria poses no territorial threat to the US, and has no spies of its own, so you could probably feed them worthless Intel and still get their trust
>and it would arguably be preferable to trying to shoot your way out, since the entire royal guard, plus a physical goddess, are in your way
>your handler will be pissed, but fuck that guy, he's the one who gave you that retard Derpy as your point of contact in Equestria
"Loyalty to you, Celestia."
My country is run by an asshat. I'll pledge my loyality to you Celestia!
Threadly reminder that if you're living in a country where the government hasn't confiscated your property, imprisoned you, and murdered your whole family, it's only because doing so is slightly less convenient to them than slowly bleeding you for decades.
Anyone who's loyal to a country is a damn fool. Your country is certainly not loyal to you.
>but muh Obama
>You look at Celestia's stern face
>You think about what she's asking you.
>She's asking you to betray your homeland, your birthplace.
>Exhaling you clench your fists and say,
"Princess Celestia, although it's my place of origin, my loyalty now belongs to you."
>Celestia seems surprised at your answer.
>"Now that you've made your choice I need you to follow me while I brief you on your mission" Celestia informs you while turning and leaving the room.
Wow. People unironically like this movie? The fights in A New Hope had better choreography and cinematography than this shit. I've seen fan films with better fight scenes. Fucking fan films.
Simply point me in the direction of your enemies, and remove my leash.
>"What will it be, Anon? Loyalty to your country, or loyalty to me?"
>You stand there for a moment, pondering her question, even though in your heart you already know the answer.
"Loyalty to my country,
mate." >You crack open a can of VB and down the entire thing in one patriotic skull, then drop kick the can into Celestia's horse face.
"Geet farcked ya royal cunt!"
Very well then.
>over the next few hours, you work out a deal with Celestia
>you'll provide classified information to her, but to in order to make Langley believe you're still doing your job, she'll allow you unrestricted access to all Equestria's secrets
>in reality, you'll be feeding her info to damage the efforts of other foreign operatives while stealing every scrap of valuable information you can get your hands on
>you return to your safe house in Ponyville, and shoot off a message via one time pad to your Case Officer
>explain your plan, request the files on known operations by the PRC and the Russian Federation in Equestria
> request access to all the files the agency plans to 'leak' to the press
>feed Celestia the information slowly, building trust in you as an asset
>meanwhile, begin stockpiling information on Equestria
>potential military strength, all known magical spells and potions, locations of rare earth mineral deposits discovered by liberal do-holder NGOs working for the Equestrian government
Send it to Langley, with the instruction not to act on it unless it becomes time sensitive
>over the course of a year all Russian and Chinese operations within the country are eliminated
>you are now essentially the head of Equestrian intelligence
>President Powell decides it's time to begin phase 2 of the operation
>starts working for Equestrian entrance into NATO, establishes a US embassy in Canterlot
>Celestia, who only knows of the constant Chinese and Russian covert operations on her territory in the past year, accepts
>Langley decides to pull you out, which you can conveniently use as an excuse to Celestia for why you'll have to leave the country and stop feeding her information
>she suspects nothing
>you have the agency create one last file, implicating Sunset Shimmer as the mastermind behind the pro-Russian coup in Yakyakistan
>Celestia orders her killed
>you return to Langley a hero
>get promoted to Deputy Director
>get named Secretary of Defense in Powell's second term
>successfully coordinate the defeat of the illegitimate Yakyakistan government by a combined US-Equestrian force
>the combined might of US military tech and Equestrian magic allows for another century of US hegemony
Your country has chosen by popular vote to unite with the Rodina, pidor. Cease your illegal governance immediately and submit to federal authorities. Cyka.
>instruction not to act on it unless it becomes time sensitive
>simple field agent
you, uh, don't get to give orders
>as if they wouldn't listen to an agent who managed to get them that kind of access
>as if they wouldn't realize that acting on too much of the Intel would break my cover
>as if an instruction is a binding order and not a suggestion when coming from an embedded operative
There's so much Clancy style autism to take issue with, and that's what you objected to?
You shouldn't be fighting for the leader of your country, you should be fighting for the ideas it was built on. As long as your country stands, it can return to greatness. Turning your back on what millions of men died fighting for just because one person screws it up for 8 years is one of the worst things you could do.
>You look at the mare.
>No, you look at the goddess before you.
>Celestia, the ruler of Equestria and harbinger of light, has just offered you a place by her side.
>The only catch is that you betray your country, divulge its secrets, and prepare Equestria for war.
>You'll be set up for life. You'll live comfortably in the castle during what is sure to be the golden age of Equestria.
>On the contrary, if you choose your homeland, you'll be treated like a common criminal if not worse.
>You don't even have to think about what you're going to say.
>The answer is so obvious your mouth moves without even thinking.
"My loyalty lies with my country, Celestia. All the gold in the world couldn't change that."
>"So be it. Guards, take him to the dungeon."
>You're ushered away and locked deep within the crystal bowels of Canterlot Castle.
>Over the next few weeks, you undergo grueling torture on the daily.
>They try every trick in the book to try and break you and squeeze whatever information they can out of you.
>The previous offer even pops up a few more times.
>Your silence is the only answer they need.
>You'd almost forgotten what your voice sounded like until they asked you for your last words.
"Give me liberty or give me death."
>And so, they gave you death.
Actually it is, to a degree. You can teach babies to swim because they have a natural kicking reflex in order to propel themselves in water. Reinforcing it makes them better swimmers early on.
If you don't, it becomes a bit harder to learn later on.
>Loyalty to my country? What country? They opened up the borders to all nations, let people go wherever they please, all in the name of multiculturalism.
>I don't belong anywhere anymore on Earth. That was taken away from me. I might as well belong to you.
>implying 9mm isn't the most popular cartridge, and therefore the least conspicuous
>implying you even get any real value out of using .40 over the 9
>implying it's worth it to switch to the .45 when you can use 9mm hollowpoints
>implying the .50 is anything other than a meme handgun cartridge
>implying a field agent would carry a revolver
9mm is best handgun cartridge for a spook. It's cheap, ubiquitous, and any stopping power issues it once had have been solved by the existence of hollow points. Nice try though.
You ever notice that equestrian is like entirely white. No one talks like a nigger. Zebras are from Africa and there's only one of them in the whole kingdom. When Twilight went through the portal into the human alternate reality in EQG there wasn't one student who had distinctly non European features.
Occasionally you'll see a pony that has asiany eyes or something, but it's rare as fuck. Equestrian is probably a lot like what Hitler was going for. Everybody is just white and happy.
I think there's a lesson to be learned in that.
"im sorry but i cannot betray my country i shall die whit honor"
"fuck that shithole back home! Where do I sign your highness?"