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Reversed Gender roles Equestria: herding edition
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 501
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Previously on RGRE Thread >>26000140

New GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
I should have green to post about 100 posts in or so, depending on how fast things go.
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Second for Twilight tricking Anon into having tons of children.
We're waiting Shuks
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If he got it smelling like that to begin with, there's a bit more to his allure than just that funk.
Control your electra boner.

>"U-Um. Daddy? C-Can I have a goodbye kiss before I go to school today?"
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Proposing new subjects for future threads:

Reserved Gender Roles Equestria: horsecarriage edition!
Preserved Gender Roles Equestria: pickling edition!!
Perversed Gender Roles Equestria!
RGRE: threading edition! with locks instead of socks, lewd!
RGRE: "ding her" edition!

Also notice how herding is an anagram for ding her

So go on and ding her, if you know what I mean!
Well I'll go ahead and sen us closer to that 100 post then Shuk!


>Waking up you yawn covering your mouth with a wing.
>Feeling a blanket slide off you look over at it with surprise before a warm feeling fills your belly.
>You look around and see that the mess Rainbow had made is gone, Anon must have…
>Oh the poor colt you didn’t mean t-
>Then the thoughts from earlier come back and you hide in your mane face red once more.
“Oh darn it all, come on Fluttershy you got to stop being so shy!”
>Knock knock knock!
>”Oh Fluttershy!~ It’s me Rarity are you home?”
>Peeking your head from the rafters you call out.
“C-come in!”
>Your door handle glows blue for a moment before the door swings in.
>Rarity trots in looking pleased as punch before she stops, looking around she turns in place, “Fluttershy?”
“U-Up here.”
>It’s not often you see one of your friends jump in surprise.
>”Darling! Whatever are you doing up there?!”
“Y-You startled me, um.. What d-did you n-need?”
>”Oh I was hoping to invite Anon and yourself to a little soiree of sorts, though I don’t see Anon here.”
>Rarity trails off before a gleam entered her eye and she rears up in delight.
>”Idea!~ Why don’t you, Pinkie and I have our little outing together? I was meaning to bring Pinkie along for a little party number, but we can make it into a girl’s night out!”
“Oh, um w-well that sounds g-great, but w-where…”
>”Oh it’s at this little quaint cafe that I happen to know of, trust me it will be just fabulous!”
>Before you can protest, not that you don’t really mind, but you still want to find Anon, Rarity plucks you from the rafters into her waiting hooves.
>”Come now Darling we have much to do!”
You had one job
RGRiE you had one job.

Then you picked up parts from all of the generals.

Holyshit, so many topics.

Also daugterus are not for sexual, dad anon a bedt.
>Tugging on your friend your mind is in a flurry of ideas.
>Oh there is just too much to plan, but you’ve worked harder deadlines than this!
>You shall prevail!
>”Um, Rarity..?”
>Now you just need to make sure that Pinkie is on board as well an-
>A small squeak interupts your musings.
“Bwha- huh? oh Darling, I’m terribly sorry I was off in my own little world. What was it?”
>”D-didn’t we already pass Sugarcube corner? I-I thought we were getting P-Pinkie?”
>Leaning to look around Fluttershy you see the store down the block.
“Haha...so it is, terrible sorry Darling, but my mind is all in a tizzy and I can’t wait to share the news!”
“Ahaha~ A mare never kiss and tells, but I’ll give you a hint, it involves Anon and our own little happy ending.”
>For some odd reason Fluttershy sinks within herself at your hint.
>”O-oh...w-well I-I’m glad y-you’re h-happy?”
“Oh Darling, what ever is the matter? I thought you would happy?”
>Fluttershy shakes her head small tears starting to grow in her eyes.
>”I-I am! R-really!”
“Darling, I thought you loved Anon?”
>Sniffing Fluttershy gives you the meanest look she can muster, it still looks adorable however.
>”Of course I do! Y-you don’t need to rub it in…”
>Wait she doe-
>Oh she does!
“Whahaha, Fluttershy! Darling, I was talking about herding with Anon, you, Pinkie and I! Why would I try to keep him all to myself?”
>”B-but you s-said…”
>Daww, this mare right here.
>Wrapping a leg around her you tug Fluttershy into a hug.
“I meant OUR happy ending Darling, not just moi, not just Anon’s, ours.”
>Her sniffling fading away Fluttershy gives you a watery smile before her wing comes about to hug you back.
>”Th-thanks Rarity, I c-could use a good friend now.”
“Hm? Why whatever do you mean Darling, I thought Rainbow and you were best fillies forever?”
>A dark cloud starts to form over your friends head making you stare in surprise.
>”R-rainbow thinks I s-stole Anon from her, s-so she and I-I aren’t on the b-best of terms…”
>That no good blue furred multi colored streamer!
“Well if she can’t learn to take a loss with dignity then that’s her loss, after all I’d rather share and keep both my friends then just try to keep one only to lose both!”
>Ending that statement with a haughty sniff you hear Fluttershy giggle softly, “H-hehe, I’m sorry Rarity I-I guess I’m n-not that marely.”
“Nonesense Darling, you stood up to a dragon for Celestia’s sake! When it comes down to it you’re brave when it counts!”
>Seeing the shy smile grow on her face makes your chest flutter, you did always think that Fluttershy was cute, but that smile made her gorgeous.
>Now, now heart now is not the time for these feelings!
>Your heart momentarily overrides your sensibilities when Fluttershy suddenly nuzzles your cheek!
>”Thank you Rarity, that, that means a lot.”
“Whahaha! Well then let’s go and collect Pinkie!”
"Alright, sweetie. Lift your skirt."
>”Hey girls!”
>Pinkie drops behind the counter only to reappear next to you from a pillar.
>You’ve long learned to ignore her antics, that way of thought leads to madness.
“Hello Pinkie, Fluttershy and I were hoping to inquire upon your availability for a small get together between us.”
>”Hehe, sure I’m about to get off work actually, but what about the rest of the girls?”
>Your nose scrunches before you can answer.
>”Th-they aren’t i-invited”
“Yes, we were hoping to talk with you about Anon actually.”
>”I’m always happy to talk about Anon sillies, what’s there to talk about?”
>You all turn to look to the door to see Mr. Cake giving Pinkie The Look.
>”Oops, sorry girls I’m not quite off yet, can I get you anything while you wait?”
>”I-I’ll take a banana smoothie, if you don’t mind.”
“And I’ll have the coffee cappuccino latte hold the whip cream and add in a cherry if you would.”
>Pinkie finishes scribbling down your orders on her notepad she had pulled from her mane.
>”One banana hush, and one sassy sass hold the wig, got it!”
>You watch as Pinkie then does a cartwheel away.
“Such a strange mare.”
>”W-well it is Pinkie after all.”
“Quite, so while we wait, what are your thoughts on Anon?”
>”O-oh um, w-well I think h-he’s very nice, and um k-kind, he doesn’t get m-mad at me for b-being shy. My a-animals like him p-pretty well too.”
>Oh you very much doubt Angle likes Anon, but you’ll let it lie.
Go back to your fucking containment thread.
>”H-he also gives me belly rubs and wing rubbings all t-the time! It’s s-scandelous!”
“Shy you sly mare you, I wouldn’t have thought it was in you.”
>Fluttershy flushes hiding in her mane with her hooves.
>”I-it’s not l-like th-that! H-he does it all t-the time!”
“Darling relax, we’re both mature mares who can talk about our mutual friend and his very pleasing attributes. Besides, I’ve done more than that.”
>”Wh-wha? Rarity did you?”
“Not for lack of trying, but no. However I did manage to lick his hoof spiders!~”
>Fluttershy’s eyes are so wide you could use them for fine china.
>”Wh-what happened next?”
“Oh a customer came in and Anon was chasing after me shouting about a wet willy.”
“Darling please, your wings!”
>”S-s-sorry, but he j-just chase after you with a w-w-wet willy?”
“That he did Darling.”

>”Hey Girls! One Banana Hush and One sassy sass hold the wig! What ya talkin’ about?”
>Pinkie passes out your drinks and you take a sip of yours.
>”W-we were talking about A-anon, Pinkie.”
>Strange, why is Pinkie looking around nervously.
>Grinning at the scent of fresh gossip you lean forward invading Pinkie’s personal space A soft ree can be heard in the distance
“Pinkie, Darling you wouldn’t happen to know of anything in particular about our dear friend Anon now would you?”
>”Whahahat you talking about Rares! Of course not! Anon and me are super best friends just like you gurls are with me!”
>Pinkie scrunches her nose as you leer ominously.
>”I-its not like I saw Anon naked or anything like that!”
“You saw Anon without any of those delectfully sinful clothes on? How ever in the wide world of Equestria did you do that?!”
>Pinkie scuffs her hoof on the floor avoiding your gaze, “It was an a-accident, didn’t mean to spill the frosting on him.”
>Fluttershy eeps as she loses control of her wings once again, “P-pinkie y-you d-didn’t a-already mark him d-did you?”
>”What!? No! Yes, maybe? I mean it was in the bath and I don’t think i-”
>Glass and silverware rattle as you slam your hooves on the table as you come face to face with Pinkie.
“Are you telling me that you’ve already gone that far! And in the bath at that?!”
>Pinkie gulps at the fire in your eyes as she meekly nods her head.
>Then Anon and her where…
>Right before he came into…
>Then when he was walking around with that heavenly scent that must have been his musk and Pink-
>A small puff of steam escapes you as you fall back.
“Oh my!~”

>Be the pinkiest, partyest, supericfic pony in town!
>You might have just killed Rarity with lewds.
>You really hope you don’t get the ponice called on you for that.
>Oh suger sticks Fluttershy’s still up!?
>You thought you could hide away with a carton of ice cream afterwards if you managed to get them both to pass out!
“Y-yeah Shy-Shy?”
>Fluttershy sniffs, oh no don’t cry, before she holds out a hoof to you.
>”P-Pound it sister!”
>Dis mare right here be the bestest mare ever!
>You hoof bump with your friend and give one of your superiffic grins.

Alrighty, dropped it off and hope you enjoy the scent of new green Anons! By the by, what are you guys wanting more, comfy things, or some silly crazy things? Had an idea or two
Bed is for sexuals.
Stick your dick in it.
>rararararara cannot hold her lewds, must be carried home by flutters
>“Oh a customer came in and Anon was chasing after me shouting about a wet willy.”
Holy shit, I bet ponies don't know what a wet willy is.
HOLY SHIT she must have thought that he was going to catch and r-ravish her!
>>Fluttershy sniffs, oh no don’t cry, before she holds out a hoof to you.
>>”P-Pound it sister!”
Oooh no you didn't! unf
Por que no los dos?

Good to see you again, Comfy!

Y-you still s-single?
Or, actually, do you do muse stuff?
I'm trying to think of a good reason for an abusive alpha mare to beat her stallion around.
Looks like it's both, will do!
Y-yes, um d-did you still want to do that cafe place?Do you want legit reasons or really shallow reasons? If legit could have the stallion be mucking about with the money of the household and spent the money for a new house on a colty thing like a jock strap to look sexy in, for a shallow reason could have it where the colt didn't want to make food for the alpha.
I know a place that serves the best minty mojitos

>Do you want legit reasons or really shallow reasons?
Something in-between.
I need Anon and another stallion witness it, and have justifiably differing reactions - Anon taking the side of the battered guy.
I was thinking about herd business and alpha introducing a mare that the stallion doesn't love that hot (to which Anon's friendo explains that that's how life is and ), but I wanted to shop around for something unrelated to polygamy first.
What are moijtos?

Ooooh what about that scenairo in the bar when you see a really hot chick, but she has a fairly plain girl whose there to hang out as well. If we're in Equestria the stallion could talk with both and if he wanted the hot one he'd need to accept the plain one as well.

Basically having a counter measure for the unpleasent friendo so you can have room to make the moves on the hot one?

Another thing I could come up with would be chore distrubution I think, so say the colt takes care of the housecare things, while the mare go out into the world to bring back teh things to make the house run, groceries, money, new furniture or clothes. Stuff like that, could even have it set up that a mare REALLY loves her stallion when she brings the colt with her on the shopping trips OR lets the stallion go on a shopping spree while being dragged along as the token pack horse.
Have we done a story about cheating married mares yet?
Not cool.
Wrong thread. However th3 Closest thing to this is Comfy or NOFs story.
man i miss the herding/forced marriage/forced polygamy thread. i wish office anon would finish his herding story.

Right? There were a couple of really good unfinished greens from those threads.
Yeah, would like writemook to come back as well.
gender roles don't exist
this whole thread needs to return to tumblr

I miss it too man.

And on a similar note - I'm probably just gonna do a straight rewrite of that story. Some things about it just feel straight up unsatisfactory.
bait sure is baity today

seriously, love the gender roles threads. its nice to see, even if it has to be in FICTION, when men arent treated like shit and its hilarious and theyre are expected to just take it b/c nobody gives two shits about men
I like to think that she actually fucked the mailman, and he was so upset that he refused to play monopoly with her
as long as it gets finished yo. seems like quite a task finding anon an entire herd.
the favorite drink of retired guardsmares with attitudes
I'll try to work this in. Perhaps a good smackdown needs several causes at once.

>"Anawn! Anawn!"
>You'd recognize that adorable country twang anywhere.
>Your favourite tiny baby horse comes running down along the path, kicking up a giant dust ploom behind her.
>AB: "Yer back!"
>Who's gonna get hugs?! It's THIS filly!
>You open your arms wide when she approaches leaping distance an-oh fuck you're supposed to be preggers.
>You're a human, and being human means being adaptable.
>You side-step Apple Bloom and wince as you watch her eat shit in front of you.
>AB: "Whut the heck, Anawn!"
>Yeah, no, she's okay. She's gotten back up on her feet and now she's glaring at you.
>Her tiny muzzle is all pouty and her giant filly orange eyes are staring you down something fierce.
>Oh lord above she thinks she's intimidating.
>You want to hug this filly forever and ever.
>Snuggle time is later, though. You kneel down to her hight and try to look apologetic.
"Sorry, Bloomy, but I-"
>AB: "How come y'all got so fat, Anawn?"
>Apple Bloom, you are SO lucky that you aren't dealing with a legitimate, hormonal pregnant lady right now.
"I'm not fat, Apple Bloom. I'm..."
>This feels so weird to say.
"I'm pregnant with a foal."
>Apple Bloom stares at you blankly, her eyes jumping between you and your belly.
>AB: "Yer whut?"
>You risk a glance at Applejack, only to see her facehoofing.
>You manage to hiss at her out of the corner of your mouth, but you're still pretty sure that Apple Bloom can hear you.
"Does she know where babies come from?"
>Applejack sighs and dumps your luggage on the dirt path.
>AJ: "Well, she does NOW."
>AB: "Babies? Y'all mean foals, Anawn? Issat where foals come from?!"
>She's looking down at your Rainbow Dash-filled sweater with a look of awe, confusion, and disgust.
>AB: "Y'all're growin' a foal in yer tummy?!"
"Uh, well... That's right, Bloomy. When a mommy and a daddy love each other VERY very much, they have what's called 'sex'."
>Apple Bloom looks up at you, enraptured, as you give her the long-and-short of reproduction.
>It's a very uncomfortable experience for all of you; Applejack even more so due to her inability to lie to her sister convincingly.
>AB: "So, human colts're the ones who make the foals, right?"
>You just nod, hoping that this Q&A session will be over with.
>AB: "So if yer the mama..."
>Christ, this is weird.
>AB: "...then who's the papa?"
>Her eyes widen in horror.
>AB: "Oh no, Anawn!"
>Suddenly Apple Bloom is trotting around in circles with a terribly worried expression on her face.
>AB: "Y'all got so many bags! Did yer herd kick you out? Issat why yer here?!"
>You try to move on to damage control.
>Partly because you don't like seeing a tiny baby horse in distress, and partly because you don't want to wait for Applejack to blurt out the truth of the matter.
>You take a deep breath to steady your nerves, and hope to high heaven that Rainbow Dash doesn't wake up.
"Applejack's the... papa."
>You were expecting plenty of reactions, but a squeal of delight an a filly launching herself at your face was not one of them.
>AB: "Oh mare oh mare oh mare! Does this mean yer gettin' married?!"
>AJ: "Yup!"
"Bloomy, it's compl-"
>Apple Bloom grabs one of your bags and takes off towards the house.
>AB: "Let's git goin', Papa!"
>You nearly fall over from the shock, and you can't seem to make your legs move.
>Applejack gives you the same look she did back at the house, grabs the rest of your luggage, and follows after her sister.

This is all for now, friends. I might post more later tonight.
How far are you going to run with the gag, man?
Just dump RBD on the smallest howdy horse and let her sort THAT out
*reaches into his shirt and shoves Rainbow Dash out*
"oh look a beautiful baby girl."
Apple Bloom looks on in amazement

"Can ah hold her, anon?"
"How come she has her cutie mark already, anon?"
"Well humans don't have cutie marks and ponies do, so it was either do or die."
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As far as it needs to go, Anon!
>Anon is forced to treat RD like his daughter whenever guests are around
>RD discovers she has an incest fetish
>Ponies see that Anon's baby looks exactly like Rainbow Dash
>Concerned ponies try to tell Applejack that the foal may not be hers
>Applejack profusely states that the foal is her's and Anon's
>RD tries to claim herself as her foal to get Anon to come with her
>AJ, RD, and Anon all end up in ponified Maudry where RD has to be herself and the foal at the same time
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Please drop the pregnancy thing. I love the story but it feels really forced. Just have Anon explain what actually happened pls
No, we need to see how far this goes.

Or until AnalPlugAnon makes us all cringe from the story
I kind of want Twilight to call him on his bullshit.
The pregnancy thing won't last much longer, so don't worry too much.
>I kind of want Twilight to call him on his bullshit.
And then everyone just looks at her like duh thanks captain
And then Anon explains to her that it was just a ploy on Rainbow's part to cuddle him
And she goes horseapples on RbD
Not very relevant, but I wish less stories forced Twilight into a friendship or romance role.
I yearn for the old days where she was an unintentional antagonist because Anon would actually call her on how insufferable and demeaning her presence was.

I like this. I hope everyone points and laughs at her.
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You all disappoint me. Well, that or I surprised myself. We're only halfway to the mark I guessed, and I have green.

Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/1hAjUL8q

>Tidying up your mane, you look at your reflection in the mirror, smiling despite a small nagging sensation you've had for the last day or so.
>For some reason, everything has felt a little bit off for the past day, and even now it's still off.
>Thankfully, it's Saturday, and you've got 'plans' with Anon today.
>You're so glad you met him.
>Kind and cheerful but not needy.
>Well, unless you count sex.
>He's almost as horny as you most of the time.
>Sometimes even moreso.
>Add in his stamina and those fingers, and you're never dissapointed.
>Plus, you can flaunt him and not have to worry, since he's shown no interest in mares other than you.
>Sure, he's friendly with mares more than stallions, but he has this marelyness to him, but it just fits his alienness well.
>Like a mare with a member.
>And to top it all off, he's totally genetically incompatable, meaning all the sex you could ever want.
>Something you take full advantage of, whenever you can.
>Like later today.
>You, him, and some lube you, uh, borrowed from Aunt Celestia's toy drawer.
>Hopefully he'll be open to try anal today.
>You've wanted to give it a shot for a long time now, but it's always been one of those really iffy things for colts.
>Most of them won't even consider it, and those that do usually require some bribing.
>Anon, well, he's different.
>He's done things to you few colts would do.
>And willingly too.
>You've probably felt his tongue inside your pussy more that most married mares would with their own stallions.
>Dozens of different poses, most of which would be impossible with a pony partner.

>You can feel yourself winking just thinking about it.
>And there's that nagging sensation again.
>A shake and a few stomps quells it, for now.
>Everything in place, you grab your saddlebags and head out into the castle halls.
>Knowing Anon, he'll probably be waiting for you just outside the castle gates, since "it's a hassle to get in", he says.
>It's cute he meets you halfway, where most colts would expect you to pick them up.
>Though that means you don't get to search around his dorm room while he's getting ready.
>It isn't like you haven't been in there before, but there's something about looking through a colt's naughties when he's in the other room and could come out at any moment.
>Nodding to the castle guards as you pass, you see Anon off in his usual waiting spot, smile already on his face.
>Such a sweet colt, but too marely to be horsebando material.
>Buck buddy, on the other hoof.
>He's some prime grade Gryphonian peakberries.
>Why won't this nagging go away...
>Arms open as you close, and you are swiftly hugged, held tight in a warm embrace.
>Always affectionate and willing to admire your well maintained tuft.
>Just like your Mom taught you.
>Tufts tame Colts, Cadence, always keep yours as sharp as your blade.
>Admittedly her sayings were a little weird, but she was a long standing member of the guard after all.
>It's where you were gonna go before your alicornification.
>Now, you have just about every door open in front of you.
>"Hey, you in here, Cadence?" you hear, and you realize the hug is over.
"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking."
>"About what?"
"Lots of things, but I was also thinking... do you think we could try something new today?"
>"Sure, what kind of thing?"
"Let's talk back in my room. It's more of a private thing."
>One of his eyebrows rises, and his smile takes on that certain, lusty kind of look you love.
>"Well, if you wanted me to come back there, why'd you go through all the trouble of getting your bag?"

>You give a shrug, before getting up.
"Never hurts to be prepared."
>He follows you as you head back to the castle, returning down the same halls you were in only minutes before.
>It wouldn't be your first choice to bring him here, but if you are actually getting sick or something, it'd be better to be with the castle doctors.
>And given how much this little bother comes and goes, it may well be the start of something.
>Pushing your doors open, you gesture him in first, as is proper.
>Now if only you could throw him onto the bed...
>Your marely pride prevents you from telling other ponies about the times he did it to you.
>Engaging your rooms lock, you toss your bag to the side, making sure to stealthily magic the lube somewhere nearby.
>Turning to face Anon, you unurprisingly find his face right next to yours, before your lips meet.
>It always starts like this, a makeout struggle for dominance.
>It's rather fun, in truth, though you wish he would just roll over and let you take over like a good colt.
>As lips and tongue meet, you feel the nagging sensation increase, like a clenching in your gut.
>But your mom didn't raise a colty mare, so you're going to get fucked in the ass, and he's going to like it.
>Managing to get a little leverage, you push him back till he's sitting on the bed.
>He's the one to break the kiss, and he asks, "So, what are you wanting to try, Cadence?"
"We've always been open to trying new things, so I figured, why don't we give Anal a try?"
>"Are you sure you're okay with it? It's not as simple as normal sex, after all."
"Anon, I've spent the past day or so preparing, I'm pretty sure I'm ready for your dick in by butt."
>"Well, when you put it that way," he says, stripping off his shirt.
>Pulling over the lube, you apply some magic to warm it up.
>Nothing kills a mood faster than cold lube.
>Well, most of the time.

>Extracting some with your magic, you start to apply it to your pony butthole when your stomach twists and you feel your rear legs give out.
>It's not quite pain, but severe discomfort, and you feel your teeth gritting.
>"Hey, are you alright, Cadence?" Anon asks, suddenly kneeling next to you.
>About to answer him, a drip of lube hits your clit, and your back end clenches tight.
>"Come on, I'm going to take you to the doctors," Anon says, reaching for you.
"I'm fine," you say, lying to yourself.
>Anon's arms suddenly wrap around you, and he heaves you up.
>"No you're not."
>You'd argue, but you're too busy trying to ease the pressure in your gut.
>Halls rush past as Anon runs you to the castle doctors, several guards running off to find your Aunt.
>You try to tell them not to, but all you can make are pained grunts.
>The door to the doctors office is shoved open, startling the doctor at their desk.
>"Doctor, Cadence is in pain, I think. She just suddenly started gripping her gut."
>"Set her down on the table and take a seat. We'll figure this out," The doctor says calmly.
>Anon sets you down like the doctor said, the pressure having faded slightly already.
>The door suddenly swings open, and your Aunt walk in, several guards stopping just outside the door.
>"Cadence, are you alright?" Celestia asks, concern evident in her voice.
"My stomach feels like it's in a knot and my backside is involuntarily clenched tight."
>With a notepad next to her, the doctor, turns to you.
>"Have there been any other symptoms?"
>Anon's hand settles on your back, and the cramping slowly fades.
"There's been a minor nagging sensation I couldn't put my hoof on for the past day or so."
>"Have you been around anyone who is sick recently?"
"None that I remember."
>"I see. Have you had any unprotected sex lately?"
>Looking over at your Aunt, you can feel the intensity of her stare.

"Yes, I have."
>"And there's the soloution," the doctor says, setting the notepad aside, "You're pregnant, and your body is telling you not to have sex."
"H... how?"
>"I'm a doctor, I could smell the lubricant the moment you came in."
>Glancing away, you suddenly register what the doctor said.
>You're pregnant.
"It's impossible though, there's no way Anon and I could conceive!"
>"Yeah, we even covered this in school," Anon says in agreement.
>Celestia lays a wing on Anon's shoulder, and you see the doctor scratching her chin.
>"I think some tests are in order," The doctor says, turning to her desk, "This is just a theory, after all."
>The cramping has mostly faded, and you feel like you can walk again, so you nod.
"Alright, what do we need to do?"
>"Well, a simple pregnancy testing spell to start, but if that turns up positive, there's a lot more stuff we need to look at."
>Magic gathers around the Doctor's horn, before a small orb forms in front of you.
>You've heard of how this works, so you reach out and touch it.
>Colours begin swirling around inside it before it glows green.
>"It seems that yes, you are pregnant, Cadence, though if what you say is correct, we need to figure out why."
>Hours go by and you and Anon undergo numerous tests, genetic and otherwise.
>Eventually, you find yourself with your Aunt in her study, resting.
>"So, Cadence, would you like to tell us all about how today came to be?"
"Well, uh, when I was transfered to school here, I wound up sitting next to him. We ended up chatting, then going out, and one thing led to another and here we are."
>"Details, niece, How big is he? How skilled is he? What kind acts did you perform together?"
>Sighing, you know you're not going to get out of this easily, so you start explaining about Anon.
>It starts off simple enough, but by the end, you're basically bragging and Celestia is somewhat green with envy.

>"You do make him sound like, erm, a most desirable mate," Celestia says with a cough, trying to keep her wings down.
"He is, but... Well... I don't want this child. I want to abort."
>The atmosphere of the room seems to freeze, and you can feel the intensity of your Aunt's stares.
>"Why do you say that, Cadence?" Celestia asks, her normally warm voice strikingly cold.
"It's too early, I can't let my life be ruined by some unexpected foal."
>"What about Anon?"
"What about him? He's not the one who has to have pretty much a year of their life be destroyed because of some accident."
>There's a sudden slam on the door, before the sound of footsteps running away.
>"I believe we have some things to discuss then, my dear Niece," Celestia says in a voice that makes your blood run cold.
>She shifts herself to be in front of you, and you find yourself locked under those magenta eyes of hers.
>"Long story short, you are forbidden by law to abort."
>"Quiet. I'm surprised you do not know. For centuries now, Royalty and the consorts of royals in Equestria have been forbidden from aborting to ensure lasting bloodlines."
>"On top of that, recent studdies have shown that, at least in theory, Alicorns have a statisticly relevant chance of bearing future Alicorns."
>"And as a final point, endangering the life of an endangered species, living or unborn, is punishable by law."
>Each point she brings up makes your heart sink further and further.
>Barring some sort of miracle, you're going to have to bear this, whatever it will be, to term.
>Twelve months of your life, of some of the best parts of your life, gone.
>You won't be able to go to school like this, they can never know.
>"You will have to study from here, should you wish to not return to school," your aunt says, as if reading your mind.
>"Either way, you'll have to let Anon know."
"Why? He's the reason I'm stuck in this bucking mess. He can just stew and suffer for a year, I don't care," you snap back.

>In truth, you half expect her to strike you or something, but nothing happens, she just sighs.
>"If that is what you want, I won't force you to tell him."
>Rising to her hooves, she indicates for you to do the same.
>"I'm sure there are things you want to do before your condition progresses, so I suggest you do them soon."
>You may not be angry enough to storm out of here, but you certainly aren't soft about it.
>Returning to your room, you begin to plan what you want to and can do with the last few weeks of freedom you have.
>Rushing back to your dorm, your mind tries to comprehend everything that has happened.
>Cadence is pregnant, you're the dad, and...
>And she doesn't want it, or want you.
>For hours now, you've been thinking, about the child, about your future.
>This could literally be your only legacy in this world.
>From what has come from the tests and what you know of genetics, this is pretty much a miracle.
>Or magic, but either way, it shouldn't have been able to happen.
>But it did, and you have a child.
>Unborn, yes and...
>She's not going to carry it.
>Stumbling, you eat pavement, scratching up your knees, hands and face.
>The shock jostles you from your thoughts, and you sit yourself up, ignoring the stinging cuts.
>You can't help it as tears start to form.
>You may not be the best parent material, but you'd still try, unlike Her.
>Standing, you half-limp back to your dorm.
>Blood stains your legs, arms and face, blood you'd willingly give, just to give your unborn child a chance.
>There's nothing you can do though.

>She's a princess, and you're just a familyless male, stuck in a mares world.
>The dorm warden sees you returning and your injuries before rushing to your side.
>Nudging you along, she takes you to her room, pulling out a first aid kit.
>"Anon, what happened to you? Did you get into a fight? Did Cadence do this to you?"
>Shaking your head, you sit down and let her nurse your wounds.
>Dirt and grit are brushed off, water washes off more, and as a final touch, disenfectant.
>It stings only a little, almost nothing compared to the revelation.
>Gauze strip bandages soon cover your knees and hands, and a patch on your cheek where it got scraped.
>"So, is everything alright, Anon? I've never seen you this reserved."
"No, but I don't want to talk about it. I don't think I can talk about it..."
>You feel her hoof pat your shoulder, and she says soothingly, "Well, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."
>Smiling, you nod and stand up, ready to head back to your room.
>"One last thing, Anon, if you need to stay here, I'll sign for you to stay home from school for a few days."
"Thanks," you say, before walking the hall to your room.
>Inside, you crash immediately into your bed, tears starting to form again.

And that's it for now.
What a whiny brat. He should be castrated for disgracing his gender like that.
This Anon was in Equestria from a fairly young age, it makes sense he would internalize some of this stuff
You should have at least 3 children by 8th grade, when he came to Equestria.

>Cadence drops off of the face of the Earth, tells Anon she got an abortion and that she never wants to see him again.

>Cadance gives birth, spends a few months raising the kid in secret.
>Still a teen at heart, she starts dumping the kid on castle staff to go out and party.
>Meets a cute colt named Shining Armor.
>One day, Anon opens his door to find a crying one year old on his porch with a note, and nothing else.
>Years later, Candence wants to reconcile with Anon and daughteru
>They could even join her and Shiny's herd!
>Arrives to find Anon is living well with a new mare (or mares) that daughter calls 'mom'.
>Anon told his kid that the different shade of pink (I'm imaging step-momma Pinkie or any another pink haired mare) is because of human genetics!
>"Some stuff just skips a generation or two! Human genetics can be… surprising!

Things can get happier or sadder from there, all depends how Cadey handles things. Either way, expect a jealous Shining Armor.

i like the idea. Anon doesnt forgive the bitch and denies ever being with cadence
This has some aspects of my plans, actually.
All apologies to Shikaku. I read this story and that one incomplete version someone else posted way back when, and it made my head buzz with ideas! Honestly, I'd even go off and do my own version if I had your permission senpei .
Little does Cadence know...Anon is a saiyan
>Shining Armor hates Anon and his family
>Bribes daughteru's teachers to expel her
>Buys Anon's apartment and has them evicted
>Pays off police and witnesses to get waifu arrested
>Has Anon committed to a mental asylum for hallucinating a relationship with Cadence
>Daughteru dies in a cruel foster home
>Everypony lives happily ever after
how about fuck you? also shining gets cucked by a zebra
Fuck You
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Dad always said the best revenge was living well. It'd be much more satisfying for Cadence to suffer by seeing how well he and his daughter are doing, and how they never needed her to be happy.

Eat shit and die.
>"Daddy, do you ever miss mommy?"
>Cadence perks up from behind her hiding place: a tree
"Baby-girl, I don't go a day without missing your mother."
>Cadence prepares to walk out and greet Anon
"So as soon as Pinkie gets off of work, us three are going to get some ice cream. That sound good to you, sweetheart?"
>Cadence sadly slinks back home
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How about not making ponies act comically out of character so you can turn them into strawmen you can beat up?
If she's gonna get that close to me, my cock is going to need to be in her mouth. She better open wide.
But that's his character. Don't you remember The One Where Pinkie Knows?
God I'd hate that. I never want kids. I'd kick that cunt in her crotch boobs and make her drink her own bloodied lactation.
Seems you like 'em pink, eh?
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I missed the part where he destroyed a couple of innocent lives just to sooth his ego and solidify socio-economic strata. Was there a directors cut or something?

>pic related
Bitch tricked me into having lots of kids. She deserves more then that.
If you get tricked 7 times by the same person in the same way, you may want to look in the mirror and reevaluate your life.
A pink haired step-mom for a pink haired daughter. The idea is that ponies (and daughter) would notice the slightly different shades of color, but wouldn't necessarily catch on that there wasn't blood between the two.
>Not wanting your genes and bloodline to continue on for generations.
>Not wanting your family to go down in the history of a new world.
>Bitch tricked me into having lots of kids.
Anon, if you don't know how kids are made then I don't know what to tell you.
It's twilight. She's insane. Knowing her she probably just froze my used condoms and then used a turkey baster to fill herself with weeks worth of cum at a time while sniffing one of my used workout shirts.
>being a slave to genetics
>not wanting to save all your money and die a rich man with lots of cool shit and stories
>wanting to spend your prime years tied down
How illogical
That's a very particular head canon you have there anon.
Then why were you with her to begin with?
But anon, it could be a comfy way to be tricked.
I never said the condoms were from sex with her...

Ever read 'exchange'?
In his defense, this isn't Satyr/Preggo General.

Don't get me wrong, I still think he's batshit, but its not like he's in the pregnancy general talking about how he hates kids.

Fuckers need to remember that this is its own general and not Satyr-Preg safespace.
>Not taking joy in your own family and the ones to come.
>Thinking it's nothing but slavery.
What a sad way to look at fatherhood you have there.
Having money and stuff at death means nothing. You'll just be forgotten.
Also for some reason the idea of cadence doing that makes me cringe, not that the idea isn't good but I half raised my own siblings growing up so the thought of her shuffling her kid off bugs me
Fair enough.
The Exchange is wonderful, easily my favorite set of horsewords. My critique, though, is that the majority of the M6 are just straight out of character. They've got the right mannerisms, but the decision making is off.

I get why the author did it, that story needed some type of antagonist and a set of amusing ones worked for the tone of the story, but it would have been nice to get it some other way.

But, as said, The Exchange is great.
I'm dead. Why do I care who remembers me? Besides, my sister wants kids. They can take my money and stuff when I'm dead.

It's just different values, anon. I'd like friends to make memories with. Doing fun things together. Changing diapers and dealing with brats isn't my idea of fun. I want to spend as much time as possible enjoying the life I have while I have it. And doing that takes money.
Yeah, some of the interspersed satyr and pregnancy stuff is fine, but there's too much if it in thread at the moment. At least the fucking minoautists work at making their stories interesting from an RGRE POV.
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What are RGRPeriods like?
>Having money and stuff at death means nothing

True, but that's kind of a trick question because having a huge family also means nothing at death. Because your dead. Like gone. Nothing can mean anything because there is nothing there to appreciate the value.

I might also add that you must have one sad current existence if you place so much of your value in life on living vicariously through your descendants.
Theological debate in my little horse thread? More likely than you know
Nigger this is 4chan theological debates happen everywhere until someone posts porn.

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>theological debates happen everywhere until someone posts porn
I have a huge family history, not a big family. Just a very old one and we don't keep traditions or any of that crap, we just remember and are proud of our ancestors.
And how is it sad that you live your life and raise your children or only child to carry on your name and blood, thought that was what it meant to be human.
Seems like every Anon here thinks kids are only born by mistakes, though a lot are.
>Besides, my sister wants kids. They can take my money and stuff when I'm dead.
Implying you wont out live them.
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I'm caught between boner and pic related.
They just need time to adapt. There really hasn't actually been much discussion of how exactly children work in RGRE before.
Not pre-satyr assimilation, and not much detailed stuff post.
>And how is it sad that you live your life and raise your children or only child to carry on your name and blood, thought that was what it meant to be human.
>thought that was what it meant to be human.
Not the anon you're referencing, but that's either fairly base or incredibly presumptuous.

It's base in that it assumes that humans, at present, exist for nothing other than biological promulgation. While that is true, when people talk about what it means to "be human," rarely do they exhort base, primal biological instinct.

It is also presumptuous in that it's a passive aggressive swing at how he wants to live his life. Okay, he doesn't want to have a family. Maybe that's not for you, but are you really going to say that doesn't make him human? Are you so much of a coward that you'll imply that without saying it?

I get that you're young, and english may not be your native language, but you might want to put a little more thought into your posts if they aren't going to be your run of the mill horsefucking and awwwpone comments.

>So here y'all are, having a threesome with Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
>Seems that all that time spent pressed against your man-body has made her into one heck of sexually-repressed mare.
>It was all fine and dandy until Applejack walked in on her blowing you in your sleep, and the ensuing beat-down woke you up.
>Jealous and territorial, Applejack mounted you right then and there and forced Rainbow Dash to watch.
>And that's the story of how I ended my newest green.

>having periods

10/10 based as always.
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>dat pic
>we just remember and are proud of our ancestors.

Again you presume that means anything to your deceased ancestors it probably doesn't nor will it mean anything to you when you pass. And unless you can remember and trace back every single one of your ancestors to the foundation of your bloodline you too one day will be forgotten by your own kin. You having a family won't stop your memory from falling forgotten into obscurity it will simply delay it. If you really don't want to be forgotten do/invent something great, wonderful, horrific, or utterly stupid that they name a common term or phrase after you. That will probably make your memory last longer and help you sleep at night.
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I do what I can.
I'm thinking something along the lines of the colt is either there all the time and is the Mom of the family unit resulting in some fillies being called Daddy's girl as an insult when they are coddled. Or the other alternative is when the colt does his business he flakes off to do his own thing and the mare is meant to raise their kid on their own with either other mares in the herd or hiring a sitter.

For the first it ties the stallion in as the heart of the herd resulting in all the children getting a bit of dad one on one time or the other results in super passive aggressive moves by the herd as each mare and their children make moves to show their the best and alpha of the group. Case in point would be in the sitaution of a pecking order, the children of the Alpha mare would be expected to be leading the herd of children from an early age, be loaded with more of the chores as they are the responsible ones and given the most authority, while the children of the other mares may be told what to do they can try to manuver through deeds or by discrete digs at each other move up in Alpha child status.

Another thing to think of is that the status of the mother could also result in how the children are treated, if say the stallion has favor with one mare over the other then the de facto Alpha might not be in charge over the one with favor.

>Herd dynamics
>They be wacky yo

My personal take on it is that Stallions are expected to provide some basic child care, but actual teaching of lessons is done by the Mare so the foal gets raised right, in comes Anon who wants to raise and care for the kiddies which rankles with the mare in question depending on who you're using.Either way I'd want to make sure that come bed time my little ones would be tucked into bed, have a story and a nice glass of water to settle their parched throats and then snuggle with them when they are young.
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These threads have gotten very pregnancy heavy.
I'm okay with this.
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Sorry guys no update tonight I got kidnapped by some friends from work and got drunk. Plenty of ideas for tomorrow though.

Time for bed and pony dreams.
>You are Anon the fix-it colt, and you're on your very deserved lunch break.
>And since you're not made of money, you're doing it at the Ponyville's (only) Cafeteria
>Funny thing, despite being called a cafeteria, it still had service.
>As the owner and chef, Grill, explained to you, she had to somehow differentiate from the swankier Ponyville Cafe.
>"Laddie, when the honest working folk want to eat, they look no further than the nearest cafeteria. See, I call it a diner or cafe - they won't come!"
>Her tone and gestures reminded you of someone talking sweetly to a small child.
>The first time she talked to you like that, you chalked this up to mares being mares.
>But she actually talked like that to everypony, like a kind grandam would talk to her grandfoals.
>Except she was middle-aged.
>Perhaps, like Prince Charles being born forever middle-aged, Grill was born already a granny?
>"'Sides, working mares come here to eat not to fuss and run my staff ragged, so I don't need many."
>And come here to eat they did. During the day, several waves of hungry, smelly chomping horse filled the cafeteria.
>Blue collar, cyan collar, any collar.
>You came on break with the construction workers and the movers.
>And so did your best gay pony friendo - Caramel, mover and cargo-colt for the Sweet Apple Acres.
>You're sitting at your favorite table, you two would be shooting the shit right now, but all the shit has been shot weeks ago.
>So, you wait for your order.

>And here comes your food, brought by none other than Grill herself.
>She drops your extra-large serving of egg pie and Caramel's beet and lettuce salad
>"I would send ya one of my girls, but I couldn't not serve my favorite lovebirds. Eat up, laddies! Gotta go mind the ovens."
>The look on Caramel's face was of a swimmer that touched a weed underwater. Pure cringe.
"What, you secretly want to jump my bones and the fact that you can't is bugging you?"
>"No! I'd never... don't take it like that, I mean no."
"Seriously, Mel, what the fuck was that? Hell, even I know mares would play matchmaker to rocks if they could fuck. Can't fight it"
>"Except since we're such 'good friends' some actually mean it. And some of us -ahem- are looking for a herd."
"I don't understand how that would hurt your chances. I've even got an idea! See: you tell them that they can get two for the price of one, and then I get myself kicked out and BAM - you're in with a herd all to yourself. The perfect crime!"
>"Hahah... Like any sane mare would want two stallions in a herd. They complain and moan that one is hard to support, and we're two. Especially since you're so high-maintenance"
"Me? High maintenance? Are you joking? I'm actually saving up nice bits right now, you know."
>"Yes. And it doesn't matter, the herd will expect you to cut your hours and be at home more. And what then?"
>He points an accusatory hoof at you:

>Anon treats all his children equally.
>That only makes them try harder to try and one-up each other to become the alpha child

>"Your clothes. You burn through them like a whole worker brigade! You always laugh at my wardrobe, but I know for sure who's spending more bits at clothing shop!"
"I can't wear the same burlap your workers do, and you don't have the cloth we use to make work duds. Not like you furry bastards would need it"
>"So what? And your diet. You don't eat hay, don't eat alfalfa, don't eat the leafy greens.. Milk, eggs, beans, you eat like Bulk Bicep and have no muscle to show for it! And then you buy your groceries from the apothecary. That's not cheap!"

>It turns out, ponies, like their Terran counterparts, consider most of the staple foods of man a poison, and the rest they just didn't consume in such amounts.
>Since you had no potatoes and onions for the poor man's balanced diet, you had to improvise a bit.
>Thankfully, some plants - garlic, for instance - have uses in pony medicine.
>Not in the quantities you used though, and always under supervision.
>This almost ended bad when a client - Shoeshine, she called you for an emergency - recognized your garlic breath and dragged you to the hospital by force.
>While her basement was still getting flooded.
>You almost got your stomach pumped, but weaseled out of it somehow.
>Turns out the mare had a sister commit suicide by overdosing on garlic.
>She ate a whole bulb, and several days later she died as her blood broke down.
>Coincidentally, you put a whole bulb of garlic into your bean stew.
>You didn't tell her that.

"Alright, alright, you win. I'm high-maintenance. But I consider myself absolutely worth it."
>"Oh Anon, for somepony who despises the whinier stallions so much, you sure do sound like them at times"
"We differ in one key area: I actually am worth it."
>"Anon, why did you stop here to eat if you're so full of yourself?"
"Laugh it up, Mel. Come on, let's move out."
Hmm. Well, poly kind of relies on deference to a central figure. I prefer when this is the stallion, with the alpha girl being something like an enforcer, or the boss when he's away. Not much of a fan of the "alpha mare leads it all" stuff.

This setup makes the "stallion fucks off" path a bit impractical.
If herds tend to be small, the guy and a stay home mare or two being the primary caretakers works.
If they tend to be large, him mostly managing the running of the home, or simply just not bothering with much beyond keeping his girls in line becomes a valid route, by nature of guys being so few that they can simply have their girls handle everything for them.

This can work for smaller herds too, or possibly even monogamy. But the more females there are to each male, the more believable it becomes.
This route for child rearing potentially fits very well in the RGR setting, since Anon being involved with his children's upbringing in more than passing is unusual.

>After lunch, you and Caramel usually parted ways at the central square.
>He went on to his Howdy-Overlady, and you collected your tools and went to your next appointment.
>Usually, it was an eventless walk.

>>>"...bring my friend in to drag your sorry flank along, and what do you do, you ungrateful ass?"
>>>"......I'm sorry, I just couldn't..."
>>>"We could actually live good if there were three of us but nooo. What's wrong, did her flank wiggle the wrong way? Couldn't just suck it up and drill her?"

>Someone has grabbed you by the pants and pulled you backwards.
>"Anon, no. I know what you're thinking. Don't interfere. Not in a herd matter. You get into enough trouble as is."
"I won't interfere."
>"Ok, so let's just move on--"
"But I need to listen."
>You lean your on to a wall of some shop. Caramel, disheartened, follows you and sits near.
>"Oh I don't care anymore. Just don't do anything stupid..."
"We're not doing anything. Just two bros chillin'"

>>>"So? What was wrong? Was it her teats? Or maybe she sucked your dick wrong, you shit?"
>>>"... I just don't... don't feel it.."
>>>"Oh, what else don't you feel, you lazy bastard? Don't feel like helping a mare out? Why do I have to keep the home AND bring in the food?"
>>>"...there is..."
>>>"Because there is no work for your 'speshul talent' around these parts? THEN TAKE WORK THAT ISN'T FOR YOUR TALENT!"
>>>"Oh, I forgot, you're so useless that you can't even be trusted to PULL CARTS. I'm not going to sell my house and move because you want to dig holes in the ground!"

>The mare storms away. She throws a glance in your direction, realizing that she had an audience. You don't meet her gaze. She walks on.
>You don't make a move.

>Around the corner, you hear a quiet, choked sobbing.
Too smol

>As you round the corner, you see the stallion lying on the ground in a heap, like a puppet with its strings cut.
>You quickly get to his side.

"Hey. Hey, man. You OK? Did she hurt you?"
>He lifts his head at you. On the side of his face is a visible hoofmark.
>"...it's nothing I don't deserve. I had worse. You know, they say.. if she beats you - means she loves you?"
>You look back at Caramel. He gives you a shrug. Bet he thinks "that's how things are supposed to be"
"I heard what she said. Is anything of that true?"
"Why are you with her?"
"Why didn't you move to another town?"
>"Anon, don't press it--"
>"What do you want? What? Did you come here to mock me? Because I don't need your help to know what a mess I am..."
"I didn't. I want to help you, and problems don't get solved by feeling sorry for yourself."
>He studies you and Caramel. Perhaps he doesn't believe?
>"...I have nothing. And my sister won't let me move alone. Why I got into a herd, too, to get away from her."
>He sinks to the ground
>"..Roma took me in, and I failed her. I can't hold a job, I can't cook. All I am good for is cleaning. I can't even r-rut her friends...."
"What is your talent?"
>"..I can dig wells? I know where to make them... Nobody needs one here. They've got weather service."
"What, you feel groundwater or something?"
>"..I guess?"

>A living excavator and groundwater flow sensor. Maybe you could actually move from repairs onto construction?
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>Anon lets the mare walk away without beating the shit out of her.

"I think I can get some use out of it"
>His eyes glimmer with hope
>"You have a job for me?"
"I need groundwater flows when doing work on basements. Digging helps too. You know I work repairs around here? I can take you as an apprentice, teach you some more."
"Hell, I'll even teach you how to cook. Can't help you with rutting though."

>He stares at you in disbelief

"Come on. You're a stallion, not a bitch. That ought to sound proud!"
>"Don't sell me that s-stallionist nonsense! I'm not a c-cripple!"
>WOW he blew up. Now that was a strange reaction.
"Good. I'm not going to make you empowered. I'm going to make you powerful. You're not. You want to be?"
>For several seconds, he looks off into the distance. Then comes a strained, quiet:
>"yes, sir..."
"I live on Stirrup street, house 7. Come tomorrow - I will figure out our schedule. Then we will figure out how to make you less of a failure. Got that?"
>"Yes, thank you s-sir."
"Last thing. Your name. I'm Anon, you are...?"

>"A-auger, sir.
That's it.

binned this one: http://pastebin.com/h8aEPbQX
previously on Bon Notice: http://pastebin.com/u/HotKinkyShy

comments welcome

I think I gunked up the ending.

Yes, that's the same Auger who is Pile Driver's brother in >>26000168
This should chronologically come way before the fight.
Oh, and thanks >>26033594 Comfy, you are the reason the stallion is that much of a failure.
the date was n-nice, t-too

mare-beating will happen later - in >>26000168
No comment.
>Turns out the mare had a sister commit suicide by overdosing on garlic.
>She ate a whole bulb, and several days later she died as her blood broke down.
Wait garlic is also toxic to horses?
And it breaks down red blood cells?
Sugar Bell a cute.
Well, I can at least say that the stallion does in fact reach the criteria of being VERY VERY low on the food chain. Top marks on that.

Glad to have helped.
H-hope there wasn't too much pasta being spilled everywhere, I mean when that waiter pone had dropped the serving dish and got me covered in our drinks I really thought I messed up, least we go free drinks out of it right?
Basically is fucks up the red blood cells by removing some protective enzyme and the spleen rejects them.

If they eat enough garlic eventually too many bloodcells get rejected and the horse becomes anemic. At that point either they die from an overworked heart or the body just breaks down in general from not getting enough oxygen.
Huh, thanks. Learn something new everyday.
In big doses, yes - same doses that are absolutely harmless to humans.
Same thiosulfates as in onions. Cause https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heinz_body anemia in animals - break down hemoglobin.

Unlike onions, however, garlic is actually useful. Good micronutrients, antibiotic, antiseptic, bolsters immune system, all that jazz. The therapeutic doses for regular large horses is at about one clove a day - imagine the smaller Equestrian ponies' doses.

I've taken some liberties with the lethal dose though. One bulb wouldn't be a definite kill, perhaps if it's a big bulb or if we're killing a foal.

true dat, sis.

no understanding
but that's ok sis
“It’s my turn to play with Filli-Second!”
>Hope pulls the pony out of your reach, “No way, you had her all of recess.”
“But we played together during recess, you played with her just as much as I did” you retort.
>Hope furrows her brow as she thinks on your claim, her hands bring the toy closer to you as she ponders.
>Almost there…
>Before you can take Filli-Second back, Hope yanks her back, “Nu-uh! I was The Mane-iac while we were in the sandbox.”
>Dang it, you almost had her back.
“Well… you don’t even like her all that much! You only like her now because Daddy said Speedsters are Oh-Pee. I liked her way before that” you growl.
>Hope looks taken back with your accusation.
>”E-even still… it’s my turn to play with her.” she goads, sticking her tongue out at you, "Daddy said we have to share and I get these four until bedtime.”
>You cross your arms and pout.
>It’s not fair, she doesn’t even like Filli-Second, probably doesn’t even know what Oh-Pee is.
>”You can play with Humdrum if you want?” Hope asks, holding out the lamest toy out of the set at you.
>You turn away from your sister and pick up Zapp and Saddle Rager and start flying them around in the air.
“Psh, no thanks. You should be the one with the lamest hero” you grumble.
>You can see Hope rising from her spot on the floor.
>You’re about to tell her not to go crying to Daddy but see that she’s walking over to her dresser.
>She pulls out a bit and turns to you.
>”Okay, how about we flip for it?”
>You tilt your head in confusion.
“Flip? The last time we did cartwheels in the house Mom, mommy, and daddy got mad at us.”
>Hope shakes her head, “No dummy, I mean we flip this. If heads faces up then you can have Filli-Second while we’re playing Power Ponies. If it’s tails then I get to play with Filli-Second.”
>You watch the bit pinched between her fingers.
“Okay. Fine.”
>Hope makes a fist and turns her hand before resting the bit on top.
“What are you doing?”
>”I’m gonna flip it, watch.”
>She swings her arm and the bit drops off to the side of her hand, she pops her thumb up shortly after.
>The bit rolls along the floor until it bounces off the wall and falls over.
>You lean to get a look at what side is up but Hope gets in your way, “No wait! I didn’t do it right, that doesn’t count!”
>You have no idea what she’s talking about, it flipped a few times.
>Before you can say anything Hope rests the bit on her hand and you decide to let it go, seemed like it was tails up anyway.
>This time she pops her thumb up from her turned fist and the bit slides back and down her shirt causing her to jump and yelp about how cold it is.
>You reach out for the bit but Hope pushes it away to take the tails up coin again, “Hold on. I can do it!”
>She keeps resetting after dropping it three more times.
“Doing what?! You keep saying you’re going to do-“
>The bit sails through the air, it doesn’t even look like a bit anymore, it almost looks kind of like a ball.
>You and Hope’s eyes watch the golden ball fall, all the way down to Hope’s arm where she slaps it down on the inside of her elbow.
>”Ha! I told you I could do it” she says proudly.
“Whoa! How- Wha- How’d you learn how to do that?!”
>Hope smirks at you, “Daddy showed me yesterday while you were taking a nap.”
>You frown at Hope, she ignores you and looks down to her hand resting on her stretched out arm.
>You follow her eyes and look at her hand covering the coin.
>”Okay, I’m gonna show what I flipped.”
>She bends her arm slightly as she speaks.
>When she does, you hear a squeaky fart.
>The shock in Hope’s eyes confirms what you were just thinking.
>She looks down at her hand again, without moving it, she bends her arm again and makes another fart sound.
>You start giggling, Hope begins to laugh as she keeps making more farts.
>You put your hand on your elbow and try to do it too.
>It takes a second but pretty soon you’re both farting on command.
>You hear a soft thump and see the bit land down between Hope’s legs, “Oops. I dropped it.” Hope says between chuckles, “Lemme do it again, I got it now."
>You can’t stop laughing after discovering this super power you have.
>Tomorrow is going to be the greatest day at school EVER!
>You make a particularly squeaky fart with your arm and throw your head back because you’re laughing so hard.
>You feel a firm tap on your tongue and swallow some hard spit, like really hard...
“Oww!” you groan and rest a hand against your throat.
>You open your eyes and look to see Hope closing her hands over her mouth as she looks at you.
>The fear in her eyes makes the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.
>Hope doesn’t respond, she just keeps looking at you.
>You rub your throat, the pain is mostly gone.
>”Are you okay?” she asks, voice muffled by her hands.
“I think so… why? Why are you looking at me like that?”

>Don’t say anything.
>Don’t you DARE accuse her of anything… yet.
>This is isn’t anywhere close to the most far fetched story she’s given you that pins the blame on her sister, if anything this one could have actually happened.
>You continue to stroke your daughter’s hair back.
“So she flipped the coin while you were laughing... and it landed right in your mouth?”
>Gumdrop sniffles and nods.
“And you were laughing because you learned how to make farting noises with your arm?”
>Again she nods.
>Damn… this may be one of the more grounded tales she’s told you.
“Okay, Little Sweet Thing, what happened next?”
>Now that she’s pinned the blame, she needs to tie it all back around. Should be a realistic tale if any of this actually happened.
>You stick your tongue really far out as Hope looks around with one eye closed.
“Hee anyhing yeh?” you ask.
>Hope leans away from your face and shakes her head, “No, I don’t see anything. I think it’s all the way in your belly by now.”
>Fear continues to well up in your stomach.
>”You have to tell mommy, daddy, and mom” Hope warns.
>Your insides churn at thought of getting in trouble for something you didn’t even do.
“No way, I can’t tell them! I’ll get in big trouble.”
>Your sister purses her lips as she thinks.
>You close your eyes tight and try to see if you can feel anything inside you.
>Nothing feels different around your belly, and your throat stopped hurting forever ago.
>”Gumdrop?” Hope asks with worry in her voice, “Are you okay?”
>You nod.
“I feel okay. Maybe we don’t have to tell anyone.”
>You feel much more at ease having said that.
>”But you ate a bit. I don’t think anyone is supposed to do that. What if it gets stuck? You could like explode or something. Mommy, daddy, and mom would be really mad at the mess.”
>Your blood begins to run cold, you didn’t think of that.
“B-but I feel okay!”
>”But we don’t know what could happen later. I really think we need to tell everyone.”
“Yeah? Tell them that YOU did this?”
>Hope’s eyes widen with fear at this realization.
>She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, “M-maybe we can just find out if swallowing a bit is bad?”
>She begins to walk to the door but you grab her hand and pull her back.
“Promise not to tell them anything okay?”
>She nods and leaves the room.
>You’re going to be in so much trouble… Hope is terrible at lying.
>She returns not too long later... on her own? Did she really do it?!
“What’d you say?”
>”Mommy’s not home but I asked mom a “random question”, pretty smart right? They didn’t even figure it out.”
>That was pretty smart.
>Hope slowly lowers her head.
>Your heart sinks to match your sister’s head.
>She pulls you into a hug and you return it.
>”I’m going to miss you Gumdrop.”
>You sniffle and squeeze your sister as hard as you can.
>The two of you remain like this for a while.
“How long do I have?”
>Hope shrugs, “I don’t know. Mom just said it was deadly. She didn’t say how long it takes.”
>You don’t feel very different, but maybe it’s like with Miss Fishy…
"Daddy said that Miss Fishy "knew when her time was”… maybe I’ll know too?”
>Hope nods while wiping her eyes, “Yeah maybe… do you think you know now?”
>You shut your eyes tight and try to think about it.
>When nothing comes to mind, you shake your head.
>You and Hope sit on the floor of her room in silence as you contemplate your life.
>”Maybe we should get everything ready” she muses aloud.
“What do you mean?”
>”Like with Miss Fishy, we gave her a funeral remember?”
>You, Hope, daddy, mommy, and mom all said stuff about Miss Fishy.
>Daddy let you and Hope take Miss Fishy to all her favorite stuff like her treasure chest and the bubble machine to say goodbye to them before mommy, mom, and daddy buried her in the backyard.
“Yeah I remember…”
>”Gumdrop, you’re the best little sister I ever had a-“
>You clap your hand over your sister’s mouth.
“W-we can do the talking part later…”
>You want to put off telling mommy daddy and mom as long as possible.
“I want to say goodbye to all of my favorite things first.”
>Hope pushes your hand away, “But that’s not how we did it for Miss Fishy.”
“Yeah well I’m the one who’s dying so I think I get to decide how I want to have my funeral.”
>Hope sees the reason in your statement.
>”Okay, do you want me to bring everything here?”
>You shake your head.
>Slowly you lower yourself down to the floor and pick up the Filli-Second figure that has been laying nearby this whole time.
>Your nose starts running and your vision gets blurry as you begin to say your goodbyes.

>”A-and then I said goodbye to my Comfy blanket-”
>Oh god that’s adorable.
>You have the most adorable girls.
>”-my Canal-Plug cannon playset-”
>You are almost completely overwhelmed by the though of your daughters holding a little funeral with all their toys.
>”-my brand new mightbag, with the light up straps, and the Green Gloves I got last-"
>There’s still the matter of… well everything to tackle once you can get back with Bon Bon.
>”-Softyrox I got from Aunt-“
>Oh man, Lyra is going to lose it when she hears about this one.
>-gave the 20 Shucakes I had leftover to Hope bec-“
>Now you just have to figure out how to address things from here.
>”Dunk-A-knoll set-“
>First and foremost you probably gotta put a stop to her list.
>”oh and LaP Rabbit, I almost forgot about him, but I said goodbye to him too.”
>Good lord, have you really spent all this much on just one of your kids?
>You weren’t really paying attention to all the ones she was listing off, hopefully most of those are shared toys.
>”Oh Oh! and Not Stinky Pie, you remember that boardgame right? Oh yeah! And the Pip-"
“Okay okay, I think I understand Gumdrop. You said goodbye just like we did with Miss Fishy… I guess after that you both came downstairs right?”
>She nods her head, ‘I still didn’t know how much time I had so we came down before I would know so you, mommy and mom could get ready to say goodbye like you did for Miss Fishy."
>Don’t break Anon.
>Being a stay at home dad has softened you, but you will not break here.
>Before you totally cave and pull your daughter into a tight embrace a door upstairs opens up, distracting you long enough to fight the urge completely.
>You lift your daughter up and set her down on your chair, you stoke her hair again and remind her that she’s going to be just fine but you need to talk with mommy for a little bit.
>Bonnie makes a similar statement to Hope and the two of you leave to your bedroom.
>Bon Bon shuts the door behind you and you plop yourself down onto the bed and let out a deep sigh.
>”Well… I mean it sounds like it could happen…”
“Okay? So Hope was showing Gumdrop how to flip a coin-“
>”They made… fart noises-”
>Bonnie snickers a little at that.
>You crack a smile.
“Which was SO funny that-“
>”When Hope flipped the coin again-“
“Gumdrop sw- sw- swallowed it!” You blurt out between laughs.
>Bon Bon uses your lap to support her head as she breaks out into laughter.
>The two of you revel in the absolute ridiculousness of the whole thing for several minutes.
>”So, do you believe them?”
>You hum to yourself.
“This would be an unprecedented couple of firsts if I didn't. Hope believably lying, and the two of them collaborating a story in advance.”
>Bon Bon nods, “So, you’re buying it too?”
>You nod.
“So we both believe that it was an accident, and they’ve put themselves through more than we could come up with as a punishment so…”
>”Have a good laugh over the whole thing?”
“What?! No! God no! If we let it slide too much they might try this again, with more dangerous things than a bit.”
>”So what do we do?”
“Stoic parental talk, followed by bedtime.”
>Bon Bon nods and you both walk over to the door.
“Don’t laugh.”
>Bonnie’s lip quivers as you stare at her.
“I’m serious, we have to unreadable or else this whole thing could go by the wayside.”
>Says the one who can’t stop cracking a smile.
>You giggle a little with Bonnie and immediately after the both of you shake and blow raspberries to get this all out of your systems before going back out.
>The both of you manage to keep each other in check as you both patch together a serious talk on the fly for your kids.
>Your girls start nodding sleepily around the point you both feel like you’ve made a meaningful discussion happen.
>Which is to say that both of you have just run out of parental things to say.
>”-I thought I was going to die. I didn’t want to be dying AND get in trouble” Gumdrop finishes her final defense.
>You and Bon Bon sit on either side of your girls, the both of you lay hand and hoof on Gumdrop’s shoulders.
“Gumdrop, if you are ever scared like that again the last thing I want you to worry about is getting in trouble.”
>”Yeah, me, Daddy and mom are gonna be way more sad to lose you than we are to miss a chance to punish you. Silly filly.”
>Gumdrop gives a small smile as Bon Bon noogies her head.
“We love you girls. Lyra would say the same thing if she were here too. Okay?”
>Your girls nod, in unison they both begins to rub their tired eyes.
>”Alright, come on then, up to bed.”
>Gumdrop climbs on to her mother’s back and you hoist Hope up into your arms and carry her up the stairs.
>Both you and Bonnie grunt a little as you reach the top of the steps, you share a look and in that look also share a thought.
>They’re growing way faster than either of you thought.
>You tuck Hope into her bed and give her a kiss goodnight.
>She was out before you even laid her down.
>You and Bon Bon switch rooms and you repeat the same process with Gumdrop.
“Goodnight Gumdrop. I love you.”
>”I love you too daddy.”
>You kiss her on the forehead, tucking one of her loose curls back into place as you do.
“Don’t forget, tomorrow-“
>”I gotta check when I go potty” she grumbles.
“Sorry Little Sweet Thing, but if that bit doesn’t come out in a day or so we might have a little bit of trouble.”
>She nods timidly.
Why can't you satyr fags fuck off to your thread?
>You kiss her on the forehead again, breaking her away from her negative thoughts and putting a smile back on her cute little face.
“Don’t worry Gumdrop, you’re gonna be fine. Get some sleep okay?”
>She nods while yawning and snuggles further down into her bed.
>You and Bon Bon make your way back downstairs, snickering and stifling your laughter anytime you make eye contact.
>Lyra won’t be home for another few hours, and Bonnie has to get an early start at the shop to make up for the time she spent at her seminar.
>Before you get too snuggly in the bed you hear the front door open and the familiar late night shuffle of Lyra trying to put her harp case down quietly.
>”Ouch! Hoof!” her hiss comes from the living room following a familiar thump of case on floor.
>How she does it when her magic makes things glow you’ll never understand.
>You listen as Lyra trots upstairs and enters Hope’s room, then Gumdrop’s room and finally trots downstairs and creaks open the door to your bedroom.
>”Anypony up?” she whispers as she shuts the door behind her.
“Hey Lyra, Bon Bon needs to get an early start for tomorrow so she’s out cold” you whisper.
>She trots over and pecks you on the lips, “I miss anything good?”
>You chuckle softly and pat the empty space next to you.
“Oh just a little show earlier today…” you begin to explain as Lyra climbs up onto the bed.

Well, I'm done. Hopefully this wasn't too bad and we can avoid causing any infighting. I did ask in the last thread if this story was worth continuing and I believe it was all a yes in response so hopefully all the satyr haters can relax knowing that this story is done then.

Such a silly little tale, see stuff like that is why I liked the satry thread in the first place! Not the incest bondings, the strange waifu wars or shipping fleets, just happy family times with Anon and waifu dealing with their own off spring.

Think the satyr thread lost the point of the thread theme at that point too much focus on the kids and their antics, less time spent on the parents.
That feel when I just read the green and couldn't care less about anything else in this thread.
I am interest in this story.
this is really fucking adorable and fuzzy
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>your GF decides to abort your child w/o caring about how you feel about your offspring, whose conception was thought to be impossible
>isn't even going to tell you what happened
>"What a whiny brat."

I think this is the first time I've met a genuinely bad person.
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Oh God, is Anon going to have an abortion?
It's not murder unless it's already 2 months in.
Oh boy I love it,
also ALL THE THINGS, as previously stated by a fellow anon
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Holy shit, I wanna see where dis is going
I enjoyed this immensely. You kept it thread appropriate, avoided wierd incest fuckery (not to speak ill of wierd incest fuckery; just there's a time and place for such things), and gave us a sweet, comfy green. Well done, writefag.
Yeah, I just don't know what to make of that thread anymore. I was onboard for the original Lyra Quest story, and was closely following Satyr for quite a while. There was an unpleasant streak right from the start, an author or two that immediately dove into grimderp failed marriage and heartbreak territory, but overall the threads were fun. Then more and more they started drifting in odd ways, or into a bunch of not-satyrs that resulted from Anons fucking everything in Equestria that moved. It's been long enough I couldn't give an exact tipping point, but I found myself drifting away.

Next thing I know, I'm popping into one here or there thinking I'll get caught up, and it's all "Fluttershy's rape baby son has an orgy with everyone" this or "Homosexual Dragon Convention 2015" that, and constant shipping wars focusing on the various offspring and having approximately jack shit to do with the origins of the topic. I'd be delighted if "core" satyr broke loose and found a home here, and they could convert that thread once and for all into Metrosexual Crossbreed Funtiems or something.
>Metrosexual Crossbreed Funtiems

Not RGRE enough.
That sad feel.

I know your pain my friend.
>I'd be delighted if "core" satyr broke loose and found a home here, and they could convert that thread once and for all into Metrosexual Crossbreed Funtiems or something.
Do not bring your bullshit here. You broke your general, there is no justification in breaking ours as well.
Your feels are not an excuse to post green out of your general. Satyr failed for a reason, we don't want to see our general die because you and yours cannot control your shit.
I see what you did there.
Okay/10, write more things.
Why shouldn't she abort the unintended pregnancy?
The castration thing is a bit of an overreaction though.
>Anon sticks a coathanger under his shirt to make Rainbow get out so that he can have some privacy on the toilet.
It's just a fetus, Anon shouldn't get so worked up over it.
That law the princesses were talking about sounds really silly.
Pregnancy a shit.
Shirtpony a fun though.
>Anon gets turned into a child
>Mares fawn of anons cuteness
Anonfilly tf a shit and is ooover there
Anonchild tf aint better
Anon is given the foal by either an uncaring Cadence or a sympathetic Celestia.
Anon strikes a deal with Celestia: she helps support them behind-the-scenes financially and is involved in their lives as an 'aunt'.
Naturally she keeps this from Cadence.
Time goes on, and although things between her and Cadence return to normal, she never forgets.
She also remains active in Anon and the foal's life.
Shining Armour, Twilight etcetera, then the marriage.
Eventually, something catalyzes the plot:
Maybe she wonders about Anon and their child and seeks them out to reconcile, having grown older, wiser, and more mature.
Or they become famous somehow, and Cadence feels regret.
She tries to make contact and reconcile, but Anon flatly tells her to fuck off and never seek them out again.
Cadence is astounded when Celestia reveals or is discovered to be in contact with them after all this time.
Celestia coldly says she knows why he didn't tell her: I never forget.
Now, either Anon is with a mare already and happy, with the child calling her mother, or he's single, which could lead into him meeting Luna through Celestia.
They begin dating and get serious.
The foal, possibly a teen by the time of the main plot, loves her father but is downright cynical and sarcastic, and can be outright nasty.
"Mom's in the kitchen, making dinner. If, though, you mean the egg-donating bitch Daddy knocked up, she could be changeling chow for all I care."
Cadence denied at all turns; much pain.
"You gave up Dad for this pompous dick? Man, Dad got lucky."
"Jeeze, two minutes of knowing you and I already want to throw you out the window - from the top floor."
>Anon strikes a deal with Celestia: she helps support them behind-the-scenes financially and is involved in their lives as an 'aunt'.
Celestia supports them in return for weekly friendship reports, just like she does with Twilight and spike.
Friendship is her fetish.
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Yeah, let's call them that: "friendship reports".
15 minutes hot and steamy "friendship reports"
Actually, that could work: family reports, and Celestia treasures every single one of them, rereading them of a night.
She keeps them hidden in a box somewhere, both for herself and the part of her that wants Cadence to see these, one day.
Another part, however, wants to keep them away from her niece.
Never forgetting Cadence's callousness.
The plot catalyst could be an older, more mature/wiser Cadence discovering these by chance; regret, wonder, and hope.
Reconciliation attempt; Anon and his teen daughter flatly tell her and Shining to fuck off and die.
>Bringing Satyr here
No. One offs in RGRE are ok, but otherwise fuck off.
This is RGRE it says nothing about using any other content.
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I never said Dash had to leave she shirt. Hell, put more pones in the shirt. I just want the lies to end.
I don't want to be that not RGRE enough guy or throw away potential writefags.
But if a story focuses predominantly on Satyrs, it doesn't really belong here when we have a general for that.
Post it in the Satyr thread, link it if you really think it's RGRE worthy.
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Satyr is dead/dying/cancerous for a reason, and carcasses are excellent carriers for disease. If we start letting them in, we're fucked.

It's like the Muslims. Sure, not /all/ of them are murderous crazies who want to destroy western civilization and worship a pedophilic rapist warlord as the ideal human being, but there's a solid connection between "amount of Muslims in a country" and "how shitty a country is". Except replace Muslim with Satyrs and countries with threads.
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>Anon ends up in reversed gender roles Equestria.
>He finds himself being a member of a nice, big herd of various creatures.
>Griffons, ponies, minotaurs, dragons, changelings, everything goes.
>Males, females, futas, tulpas etc.
>Most of the females are pregnant.
>With satyrs.
>Especially Fluttershy, because she rapes Anon every damn time he's near.
>Also, he cums inside Rainbow Dash, a lot.
>Some of the females are just super fat, not pregnant.
>That's good though.
>It's one of Anonymous many fetishes.
>Oh, also Anon and his herd are in prison.
>It's located inside a living, breathing plane pony.
>She's Anon's strange waifu.
>And she's a tsundere, that one.
>Also Discord is Anonymous adoptive dad and Celestia is his mother.
>Plot twist:He's a cyborg from the future.
What was the last line for?

Also, add Glimmer to his parents' herd and crosspost this to every other general.
And don't forget that Bon-Bon used to be a spy, until...
Well, the last law was a bit of an ass pull by Celestia to make cadence feel bad, but the first two are quite reasonable.
Given that ponykind still has a noble/royal class, making sure that those who st8ll hold some degree of power (royals) can't abuse this power to sleep around helps keep them in line. It's also somewhat of a carryover law from the pre unification times, so royal families would always have Heirs.
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Finally got to read you since I was writing y-day.
You're ok, Shuks
This has given me a few thoughts that have helped flesh out my storyboard.
Glad I helped in someway.
I fucking hate kids
At least you aren't hate fucking kids.
Hope Cadence gets a verbal beating that she deserves and I like the story so far
Dumb phoneposter.
>I couldn't give an exact tipping point
It was when Fluttershy's son came into being, Fizzle's twins came into being, and to a lesser degree, when Photo Finish's son came into being.
They're symbols that the worst elements came to rally around and circlejerk to. Shippers, the drake obsessed, and gay competition respectively.
I honestly believe if just those four satyrs would fuck off and stay gone, the threads would improve significantly.
Wise words fampie
The only satyr fic I read was the one where Pogo gets Anon drunk and does the sexy with him
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I would've been fine with Snapshot being a pretty boy, but no. He's just a fetish hole by this point. I'm mad.
Every time he's mentioned, it very quickly becomes a discussion of how many dozens of dicks he's taking at any given moment.
Because all girly guys are gay, and all gay guys are jizz addicted cum dumps.
To change the subject AWAY from the decline of the satyr threads, I have a prompt

>Anon becomes the Scoutmaster of the Ponyville Colt Scouts
>His campers are all a bunch of wimps
>All their badges are just heavily watered down versions of Filly Scouts badges
>This does not sit well with Anon
>He decides to make them more than just a bunch of little cookie sales ponies
>He takes them camping, rock climbing, swimming, etc...
>Parents get outraged at the danger he's putting them in

"Alright kids, who the fuck is ready to go camping!?"
> Out steps Anon from behind a tree.
> He's wearing a track pants with knee-pads and a leather jacket with a nuclear symbol patch.
> In his arms is a meticulously whittled block of wood that resembles an AK.
> On his belt is the comically over-sized knife used to carve said wooden AK.

> Colts come back a few days later dirty and bandaged up
> They're all carrying "artifacts" found in the "zone"
> Read: Random items found in the Everfree Forest
> Between the knife he's carrying without supervision and the state of the young ones - parental outrage.
"Blowout soon fellow scout."
"Now! Get to the fucking cabin. We have to hide before that hydra finds us."
>The parents complain to Anon and try to pull their children out of his scouts program
>Anon beats them up for trying to take his comrades away
>Princesses decide that the foals are safer with Anon than those parents that got beaten up by a guy
>They let Anon keep his "Little nature club"
>Conveniently this option requires no work from them
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He turns scared colts into manly men. The attitudes of mares, and the leadership skills of a stallion who's ran a large herd for years.

"And remember lads, always beware the purple menace!"

She would have wings, horn and magic access thanks to her alicorn inheritange, cultivated by Celestia, and feeded by Anon.
Celestia has no plans but she starts to see her as her new student, even giving her the books of her school to make her even more confident and whatever the fuck she can be.
Complemeted with the friendship cards and the FRIENDSHIP MEETING WITH HIS FATHER.

She is on the way to becoming the new Twilight without anyone knowing, not even Celestia until she manifest her feelings when Candence comes back and try to lash on her father.
That cause to the daughter of Anon to fuck shit up and unleashing some magics.
Shenaningans and feels everywhere

Amigo, Why not both?
She is a teenage, she can say shit without much reprecution.
>the purple menace
>Anon creates the 'Annoy-Twilight Badge'

I regret being on my phone so I can't convey how hilarious this is.
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Actually, yeah! Let's get a good few prompts in here for the writefags. See if we can't get a list, eh?

>Rarity and Rainbow Dash get into an argument about RD not being enough of a "gentlemare"

>Due to his provocative behaviour (eg ear-scritches and other casual physical contact), Anon is seen as a bit of a slut by the folks of Ponyville. <x pony> tries to confront Anon about this either out of concern for him or outrage over his behaviour.

>Cases of unsolicited cuddles (ala Jane the Cuddler) have skyrocketed in <x town/city>, and Anon fails to see the significance. <x pony(s)> go out of their way to try and protect him when he walks home form work at night.

>Tail-wagging is a crucial part of pony-to-pony interaction, and ponies see Anon as committing constant social faux-pas' by "hiding" his tail under his clothing.

>Ponies straight-up don't trust Anon b/c they think he's covering up his cutie mark with his clothes.

>AU: ultra-conservative Equestria. Anon's behaviour is seen as very lewd. Half the population of <x city> want to run him out of town, and the other half feel the need to "save" him from himself.

>Anon is a slut b/c he stands upright. This is seen as a method for a stallion to show off his junk by making it more visible. Anon burns through jobs for essentially flashing customers all the time.

>Japony Animus has taken Ponyville by storm, and Anon just happens to be the archtypical <x animu girl type, eg tsundere, moe, etc>. Cue <x pony(s)> trying to woo Anon just like in her Japony Animus.

Anybody else want to contribute? This well is dry and we need to dig deeper.
Anybody with the link to the earlier part of the story, where anon-cadence daughter is confronted by, I think it was Twilight? daughter is all, "nah she was just some cunt that dad knocked up in high school" Can't find it in any writefag's pastebins

That last one could be funny, especially because Fluttershy is a canon weeaboo now.

Just imagine her trying to be 'cool' like the mares in her Neighponese Manga who get all the colts?
Is good.

I didn't know how you'd handle Cadence making that decision, but you've done a good job of suggesting at her narcism without beating the reader over the head with it. It's also a good contrast to how she was in the first installment, too.

Looking forward to seeing this shape up.
>Anon finds himself in RGRE
>It's one of the BAD END alternate timelines, which is now canon.
>implying the NMM timeline is a bad end
I want that mare to do loving things to me.
She is incredibly waifuable.
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I'm a sunfag and I claim this to be true.
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All Moonie ever really needed to stay on the straight and narrow was a strong hand to hold her reins.
World renown adventurers Indiana Anon and his Daughter when
Wouldn't it be more like Tomb Raider anon?
>Daring Do keeps flirting with Indiana Jones-expy Anon, much to his wife/mare's annoyance.
>Then Cadence, the 'egg donating bitch' as called by their biological daughter Rose, comes in.

I'm hoping Shuk goes with an Alicorn-Centaur than a common Satyr.

A feminine, beautiful Centaur like Montaro from Mortal Kombat, with wings, a horn, and a barbed monkey-tail.
She's going to be a shoggoth.
Strange things happen when you fuck a magical being with a different number of chromosomes.
Meh, I prefer satyrs, but it's whatever.
Honey! I'm going to the grocery store, so you need anything?
>SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *Oozing shaggoth-horse noises*
M'kay! Love you sweetie!

Suddenly Cadence's abandonment is a lot more reasonable, if still dickish.
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>She's going to be a shoggoth.
I'm ok with that.
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Centaur a best.
>"Hey," she says somewhat distractedly, her young voice as soft and as smooth as honey.
>She briefly glances over the Apples' produce and price-sign. "Two bits, right?"
>Applejack, still staring up at her with wide-eyes, nods dumbly.
>The... Centauress' torso twists to the side, and she rifles through the saddlebags on her withers.
>After a moment's searching, she pulls out two bits.
>Her pale-pink horn, long and slender, lights up a sparkling green, and she levitates the bits from her hand to Applejack's sideboard.
>She's still rifling through her bags, brow furrowed.
>After hesitating for a moment, Applejack accepts the bits, quickly sweeping them into her money-pouch.
>But before she could hand her unusual customer an apple, a long, slender monkey-like tail flicks out from behind, impaling the nearest apple on its barbed tip with a 'squelch'.
>Applejack flinches back, and the Centauress pulls it up to her mouth, taking a dainty bite.
>"Thanks," she says after swallowing, still sounding fairly distracted. "Damnit, where's that bloody notebook?"
>"Rose, sweetie? Where are you?"
>You and others look to where the voice --undoubtedly a stallion-- called from, but all you see is this strange, clothed, and very tall and oddly handsome... ape?
>You've never seen a species like him before!
>'Rose' rolls her eyes and sighs, and she glances over her shoulder, her large wings ruffling in annoyance.
>"Over here, Dad! I'm just buying a snack!"
>Then she turns back to her apple, rolling her eyes and taking another bite.
>"Dads, am I right?" she mutters to Applejack, either not noticing or just not caring that the mare looks paralyzed with fear.
>"Alright," the... Ape-Thing calls back, "just don't be too long: your Mother's almost done at Sugarcube Corner!"
>Rose smiles widely, and Applejack shivers.
>Her disturbingly pony-like eyes glitter with excitement, and she flexes her wings on instinct, casting a looming shadow. >"Awesome, ice-cream!"

Yeah, this is all I got.
>and she flexes her wings on instinct, casting a looming shadow.

>she has massive wings
>could wrap a pony up in one
>not Indianon
Fucking RGRE, first I researched semen because of you, now I'm listening to peoples remembering their first kill

>>Japony Animus
they are animoos, didn't you get the memo?
>Ponies straight-up don't trust Anon b/c they think he's covering up his cutie mark with his clothes.
this is always fuckingud
>Anon is a slut b/c he stands upright. This is seen as a method for a stallion to show off his junk by making it more visible. Anon burns through jobs for essentially flashing customers all the time.
>Tail-wagging is a crucial part of pony-to-pony interaction, and ponies see Anon as committing constant social faux-pas' by "hiding" his tail under his clothing.
Man, also immobile ears, small eyes, thhe shit. I bet Anon is unreadable coldbitch

>>26038203 >>26037852 >>26038239 >>26038297
Some inspiration of what to do. Killing and preparing a snake for maximum pony unease

Why not regular pony girl why why satyrs why fingers??? nooooo
Centauress, not a filthy Satyr, casual.
only pony
all hooves no fings
nobody knows they are part human
only violent tendencies bloodlust and slight magic resist
they spread among ponies and fuck everything
They are pony half the time, human the other half.
Can you imagine how big a human sized centaur would be to a pony?
Girl Scouts are actually pretty hardcore. Mostly tomboys from what I've seen through my little sister. Presumably all the marely colts are in it.
Celestia+ sized in their teens, methinks.

"Hah, it ain't me or my wife you've gotta be worried about, but our daughter."
Cue huge fucking shadow over the annoying mares.
"These bitches bothering you, Pa?"
[knuckle crack]
>now I'm listening to peoples remembering their first kill

What's wrong with that? I think my first kill was a rabbit when I was six.
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Say it with me: Centaur Master Race

>Celestia+ sized in their teens, methinks.

Really? Tell us more. I made the prompt knowing nothing about Girl Scouts other than the cookie thing.
I've been wanting to see a sort of summer camp story for a long time. It could really go any way the author wanted.

Like Anon having to deal with hormone driven teens like in those 80s movies. Anon could be the hot councilor or something while he tries to put up with the fillies trying to do things like saddle or sock raids (panty raid equivalent) on the colts and other shenanigans.
She's a big girl.
We could have a fillyscouts vs coltscouts summer camp thing where they have to beat each other in challenges to win the summer cup. The fillyscouts win every year, but that's going to change with Anon as the scoutmaster.
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>First satyrs
>Now centaurs
>All those fucking >no hooves

It was nice knowing you RGRE thread.

Now it's time to introduce satyrs to AiE and Flutterrape. At least this general won't sink alone in the sea of >no hooves incest and pregnancy stories.

>inb4 salt
I mean... pregnancy stories can be pretty adorable when not done for 'muh fetish' reasons.
>Hyperbole: The Post

Pregnancy and child raising is a great topic for RGRE, and one not really touched on yet. Shuk is doing a good job so far, you know its going to be a family drama story and the RGR are there without hitting you over the head.
But, both satyrs and centaurs have hooves.
>one afternoon and a quarter of a thread of centaurs
>weeks of satyr spam
>good job so far.
Huzzah, no fuck ups yet.
Don't forget minotaurs
Stop exaggerating.
Centaurs are superior to satyrs. They have literally twice as many hooves.
But the same number of twistable teats.
That is a tough one. Do Satyr have two sets? Human and Mare?
Most will say no, they only have human tits.
I say those people are plebs.
I like minotaurs.
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>Anon makes it to Equestria.
>Ponies are very little, but are also kind of sexist. They are adorable, though.
>Anon was an experienced rancher before coming to Equestria, so he knows everything about dealing with cattle and herding species.

>There's just one problem.

>His gigantic Caucasian Shepherd Dog came with him.
>Ponies are terrified of the enormous dog, specially when it tries playing with them and guiding them like cattle.
>Even Timberwolves are less scary than 'Batyr'.
mans best friend

> With a little training, Anon has his dog do something 'special'
> Batyr runs from one end of the town to the other rounding up mares
> Pushes them in the direction of his home
> Anon steps in to "save" them from Batyr
> Collects a herd of Tsundere - in an effort to save face - and Submissive mares
> Just as planned.

Captcha: mountains
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Strangely arousing.
A-And not because rounding up women like wild animals is my fetish, o-or anything.
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If Anon is also Russian (but not LOL EEVAN MOTHERLAND) then I'm sold
Princesses go to fight against the evil beast tamer and his horrific monster, only to find out their intimidation techniques only encourage the monster. When Princess Luna caused the first strike and beat it on the nose with her wing, the beast pounced and began tasting her. She was only saved by the evil beast tamer's mercy and both went back home with their tails between their legs, leaving Ponyville enslaved for the time until they can face the beast once more.
How can you be inb4 salt when you are already salt?

>Batyr finds a companion of his own and hooks up with Winona
>Applejack is concerned for her dog's safety

It practically writes itself.
That's a fine bitch.
of course anon
even if it is a very arousing prospect
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>Anon is ponyherder

"Yes, Applejack?"
>"A-Ah've noticed that yer dogs been sniffing around Winona."
"And? I think they'd be cute together."
>"Yer dog is terrifying and almost as big as Mac!"
"You just don't want to be in-laws, do you?"
Fund it.
what even is this
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Proper Russian Horsefuckery

also look at this >>26042289
>Russian Brony 7.webm
H-How many do you have?
Reminds me of a prompt I heard once. Anon is summoned to Equestria by a doom cult, and when they see that he isn't their terrible horror-god, they just try and make due with what they have.
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Correction. DOUBLE the twistable teats.
No, same number. Chest and crotch.
But depending on your preference, centaurs may have two vagoos.
One on the horse part, and a human one where the human and horse part meet.
>It's taboo in centaur culture to use both wombs, especially at the same time.
>Anon keeps all his centaurs gravid in both at all times.
Or something.
Could I get an actual name for these please my interest is peaked
>Female diamond dog finds Anon's dog
>Thinks its one of her kind since its so big
>Tries to talk to it, but think he's one of the strong silent type
>Slowly falls in love
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Damn, is that horse little.
Just the way I like them.

>Winona fights the female Diamond Dog for the heart of Batyr.
>Anon just watches and laughs.
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1) piqued

2) it's a Rus animated film imdb.com/title/tt4544278/
Main plot and OST are shit. The style is ok I guess.
I'm uploading the vids as I cut and convert them. I'm 90% sure you won't miss anything of value if you just watch the clips.
That's a pony foal
Also, admire horses of all sizes, bitch!
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I'm a bit drunk right now, so forgive me if the quality of my green nose-dives a little bit.

>Did Apple Bloomy seriously just call you "Papa"?
>Was she making a pass at your "pregnant" status, or was she hinting at something else?
>You may be somewhat ignorant of these crazy backwards horseland's rules and customs, but you aren't blind.
>This wouldn't be the first time that she called you "papa", but it's the first time she called you that INTENTIONALLY.
>She's had slip-ups in the past, usually when she's half-asleep or not really concentrating on what she's saying to you.
> Applejack catches up with her little sister, and you watch as little Bloomy nuzzles Applejack's barrel.
>It's the highest she can reach.
>You think you're done being pregnant now.
"Rainbow? Rainbow, wake up!"
>You nudge Rainbow Dash with your free hand, but she just starts nuzzling your shoulder with her cold snout.
"Rainbow, c'mon. Lying to the police was fun for a while, but this shit's getting old. Out."
>You boop her on the nose, hard.
>Rainbow Dash jerks awake and panics, and her wings burst open.
>Presumably to scare away any predators.
>You're left with a shredded shirt, and a terrified birdpone clutching your chest.
>Who knew that pegasi's wing-strength was equal to that of a Canadian Goose's?
>At least pegasi don't hiss at you.
>You fucking HATE Canadian Geese.
>Moody little bitches.
>With a rough shove, Rainbow Dash topples to the ground in a graceless heap.
>"A-Anon! What the buck is wrong with you?! I-oh."
>She's got this sheepish, but slightly aroused look on her face.
>"Did I do that?"
>You don't even bother answering her. You just pick up your remaining bag and walk down the path to the farm.
>You just hope to god that pegasi don't have corkscrew penises too.
>You've had enough of geese to last a lifetime.
>By the time you reach the fields, the whole family is waiting for you.
>Big Mac, Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, and (of course) Applejack herself are all lined up with your luggage piled behind them.
>It occurs to you just now that you never thought up a cover-story for you staying with the Apples.
>The closest thing you got was Applejack insisting that are you for fucking real right now.
>No wonder these ponies look so happy to see you.
>Mother FUCKING Applejack.
>AB: "Anawn! We was wonderin' when y'all would... uh... whar'd yer foal go?"
>GS: "Foal? What in tarnation are y'all talkin' aboot, Apple Bloom?"
>Bam. Easy question.
"Applejack and I were just playing a bit of a prank, is all. I had Rainbow Dash stuffed up under my shirt."
>Granny Smith gives you a strange look, and you stop to wonder if either of the Apple girls bothered to mention your supposed pregnancy to the other two.
>Probably not.
>GS: "Well, Ah'd like ter be the first ter welcome you ter the family, Ahnonymows. Ter be honest..."
>Granny Smith hobbles up to you and get in real close to you.
>GS: "We was startin' ter think Applejack was a dyke, y'hear?"
>You can't help but let out a bark of laughter, which earns you an approving look from Granny Smith.
>Oh, it's going to be such a buzzkill when you have to tell them all that you are not, in fact, engaged to Applejack.
>GS: "But yer good pony, youngin'. S'long as yer two're un'ner muh roof, Ah'll make sure muh grand-daughter keep yer happy."
>That's actually pretty sweet of her.

my RGRE comes in two flavours: borderline non-existent, and ham-fisted.

btw I'm trying to mix up the Apples' accents. Worth it?
I don't understand.
Go for it ham man.
double-vagoo centaurs must be in green somewhere. Human-vagoo gives rise to terrible reverse-satyrs, and horse-vagoo just gives more centaurs.
My headcanon is that ponies are about the size of small dogs/big housecats. Scootaloo in that pic is the perfect size for a filly.
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I can't explain, but have another clip and a Pinkie joke:

>Element bearers sans Ponka are chilling at Twi's place.
>Rarity stands up and proposes:
>"Girls, we're having such a delightful time, but as soon as Pinkie appears she will lewd everything up! Let us ask her to leave our company for today!"
>Everypony agrees.
>Several minutes later the door opens, and in comes none other than Pinkie Pie.
>Twilight immediately grabs her and throws her out the window.
>"Twilight, what took over you? We could have just asked her to go outside!
>At the same moment Pinkie climbs inside through the window.
"Hey I like outside, outside is good, yesterday a stallion fucked my ass so hard I peed, but we did it outside so no cleanup required!"

Have Anon talk with Granny. I bet the views when she was young weren't as retarded.
Done and done.

Granny Smith is an old-fashioned mare from the 1800's who lived in a time when you couldn't afford not to have capable hands working. She's one of the only ponies who doesn't treat Anon like some sort of fragile flower.
>"I bet the views when she was young weren't as retarded."
What the fuck. You slut, get out of my head.
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shit posted, too soon >>26043941
>Have Anon talk with Granny. I bet the views when she was young weren't as retarded.
specifically, have her bring up something like "if a colt don't want no ruttin his duck ain't budgin' " idk

Or something about AJ's frankly pathetic behavior in the morning.

Also, I bet Granny herself was a total slut back in her youth and thinks nothing of the good old suck and chuck

Is that a RGRE reversal of HotKinkyJo? In normal HotKinkyJo, you get inside her. In RGRE HotKinky???, HE gets inside your head?
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>GS: "C'mon, y'all. Le's git Ahnon's belongins' up ter Applejack's room."
>Oh, right.
>Married people sleep in the same bed, huh?
>You guess that it would be kind of unreasonable to ask for a separate bed under the circumstances, let alone a separate room.
>Well, now's not the time to be ungrateful, Anon.
>You move in to grab the handle of some of your flower-print luggage when one of Granny Smith's hooves stops you.
>GS: "Ahnon, can Ah talk ter you in private? Jus' o'er here while the other're inside."
"Uh, sure thing."
>Granny Smith just gives you this look that's somewhere between an expectant gaze, and a glare.
"Sure thing, Ma'am."
>This earns you a satisfied nod.
>GS: "Ahnon, Ah wan' ter say firs' thang that Ah know jus' how cushy the city-life is like. Believe it're not, but Ah lived quite a few years in'nuh big city muhself. Ah 'member jus' how easy it was ter earn a livin' wage."
>She looks deep into your eyes.
>You can see the animal inside.
>GS: "But we ain't in'nuh city, and this ain't no fru-fru book-sortin' club we got here."
>A book sor-
>GS: "Stallion're not, Ah 'spect y'all ter get yer hide out here by the time e'eryone's up'n aboot, y'hear? If'fin yer marryin' mah grand-daughter, then tha' means yer an Apple. An' Apples dang-well EARN their night's rest, alright?"
>She holds your gaze for just a few more seconds to let things sink in, and then she softens a bit.
>GS: "Tha' bein' said, Ah sincerely congratulate y'all and Applejack in yer engagement."
>Oh right.
>You really don't even know how you're supposed to break that you're not actually getting married to the Apples.
>GS: "Ah'll make sure tha' mah Applejack will be there ter make you happy, y'hear? She's a good, honest mare, and Ah know she'll try her best ter provide for you."
>She laughs and leads you into the house.
>GS: "Don' matter none if y'all're out there in the fields with her, she'll always try ter provide fer you."
Oh, she was. She's half the reason that the Apple family is so big. Do you really think that AJ's parents are the only offspring a proud, hard-working country-mare would honestly produce?

...not to imply that BOTH of AJ's parents are Granny Smith's kids. That's weird, even for MLP incest stuff.
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>coffee cappuccino latte
[Batista intensifies]
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break the fucking news, man!!
I bet she bore at least a dozen. That's what the pie mark means - her talent is her oven, the one you put buns into.

here have smallpony
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dumped last clip.

>>26044169 >>26043877 >>26043738
last one for you smallpony lovers
goodnight sisters, it's dawn where I'm at and I still need my beauty sleep
>"break the fucking news, man!!"
But Anon! How else will get my FRIENDS-esque slapstick comedy!

>"I bet she bore at least a dozen. That's what the pie mark means - her talent is her oven, the one you put buns into."
The more fertile a mare is, the more desirable she is. Colts going down to the pub to brag about how many foals one of their herdmares have had.

Smallpony is best pony. If I can't hold my tiny little grown-up pony in my arms like I would a cat, then I should just hang myself right now.
Christ, where are you? It's fucking 10pm where I'm from.
>If I can't hold my tiny little grown-up pony in my arms like I would a cat, then I should just hang myself right now.
That's why you lift, so you can hold normal sized pony.

Russland, sis. 7 AM.
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>Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Anon get drunk
>Rainbow Dash gets weepy and wants to hug it out with Anon, her "sis"
>Twilight is grumpy and doesn't like seeing RD getting and grope-y with Anon
this, have you learned nothing from Love and Powerlifting?

big pone a best, and then pick them up anyway.
What if I want to spoon their tiny bodies? What if I want to cuddle them to my chest and keep them warm? WHAT, ANON. WHAT.


want daddy feels plz
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I wouldn't give up my changeling daughteru.

I'd kick the shit outta anyone trying to take her.
this would go really well with those 'Luna doesn't like RGRE, Celestia did while she was gone' ideas.
ANon arrives in ponyville before the show starts and sides with nightmare moon, maybe?
And here I am, waiting for viking anon to return...
i await

>"Anon you must give up Taco!"
>You snuggle your changeling uh.... guard/pet/terrifying statue generator close to your chest
>The "Concerned Mares about Anonymous" group scrunches up around you
>You laugh and start booping and petting in self-defense
>They fall to your wigglers
>Ponelets - when will they learn?!
>Superior human reach wins
>You finish shopping
"Same time next week?"
>"Mmmmmyeaaahh~" one of them coos, shuddering on the ground
>You gently rub Taco's skull chitin and she chitters softly

>"Anon! Why would you betray us like this you bastard?!"
"Sorry, but I agree with her. You ponies are a bunch of bitches."
>Anon is white-knighted to hell and back by Ponyville ponies
>NmM comes in and DARES tell him to fuck RIGHT off the edge of her dick
>Shoves him to the ground to boot
>(ponies around him gasp in outrage)
>Anon thinks, Nightmare Moon is maybe not so bad.
I've read through that story about twice, and I STILL can't get a clear picture in my head of what Taco looks like.

>Of course, because DadAnon didn't raise a bitch, he fights back.
>He loses because of magic but he impresses Nightmare Moon
>She makes him the head of her new Royal Guard, replacing Shining Armor.
>Anon fucks that horse-poon every night
>Nightmare Poon more like amirite

>the white-knights of Ponyville think she's raping him every night.
>this enrages them enough to form a decent attempt at a rebellion
>they call it the 'Anon Liberation Front'
we already had that

brump for taco

plz explain taco
See BNW's Daring Douche story. Taco's a character in that story.
no shit

I mean s/he changes forms and I have no clear mental image of Taco.

I just want to see an image in my head of Anon's waifu.

Also big fan of how even though the stallions are slaves, they're treated delicately. Encapsulates what RGRE is, easy.
Pleasant dreams friend
Also, stop posting your Russian horse anime
hey hey hey

Y'all are fucking niggers

prove me worng, bitches

drunk as fuck
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>Anal has called me a nigger in two threads
Does that make me a double nigger?
Triple nigger

dubs confirm double nigger im sorry sir its terminal we're gonna have to put you down
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Straight up: cute references. Those were really well done, Anon. I like your story.
>>You gently rub Taco's skull chitin and she chitters softly
So adorable
You are just jelly because you will never kiss horse like this >>26042289
>"Applejack's the... papa."
Hey, RGRE, look what I found - a non-200%-retarded pregnancy pic!

Obviously I'm meaning human kill
I'm going to do something like this. First time making green, please go easy on me

>You are anon
>And right now, the only thing only thing between yo uand your daughter is this crystal door
>And of course the bastard that caused all of the shit that happened to your life
>It has been a month since he ruined your life
>He caused you to lose your job and prevented you from getting a new one
>Then he framed your wife for child abuse
>You and your child always visited her when a chance presented itself
>Next he found a way to evict you from your home
>Yet you still managed
>With the help of close friends you still stood strong
>But the next part broke you down
>He tore your child away from you claiming "You are incapable of providing for her" and threw her into an orphanage
>You were in pieces, but still you visit both your loves
>Even then there was light in your darkness
>But that light was snuffed out soon enough
>The last time you visited the orphanage, you never saw your daughter
>Just a note
>"You want your daughter back? Then beg."
>That was the last straw
>He pratically tore your family apart!
>Now you're in the Crystal Empire, waiting for your turn in the crystal court
>And you are ready to do anything to get your daughter back
>In Any Way Possible
>Right, In you go

Sounds a bit dark for me
Anon taking Shining hostage when?
Only if it ends with Anon beating the fuck out of Shining
what this guy said. RGRE shows that all colts are pansies so a beatdown will teach him

Taco is a changeling. Like. That's what she looks like.

She is literally changeling #13,844,926. She loves the soft, fluffy pillows in the big one's drawer and doesn't trust the tan birdpony totally. Her brain damage just makes her all the more cuddly!

There was that fanart of her that was made a while back, but I don't know where I saved it to...
>yesterday a stallion fucked my ass so hard I peed,
Only if Anon = Liam Neeson.
Shining is trying to be the RGRE Cersei Lannister, doesn't expect beatings.
Taking care of a pregnant RGRE mare can be a hell of a job.

Hormones + "fuck you, I'm tougher than you" attitude + pregnancy lets her look down on other mares (Yeah, I'm getting all the D I want. Just look at this belly bitch!) + She still feels she need to protect you, not the other way around.
Before I continue, What's the name for the AnonxCadance satyr again?
It's Venus, or sometimes Cara in old interpretations.
Thank you Anon, I'll be sure to file that under sarcastic replies
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You mean this one?
That pic never fails to make me smile.
Need more lovebugs.
Is some-anon reading this? sorry if it took so long.

>You step in the throne room, immediatly spotting multiple guards stationed next to each pillar in the room
>There's got to be at least 8 of them
>"Ugh! Who let the Diamond Mutt in here?" Shining cringed on top of his throne
'Diamond Dog?'
>Oh wait, you had a cloak on
>It's not like there's a lot of bipeds here
>You take your hood off
>"Ahh Anon It's only you." He visibly relaxed and showed his smug smile, "Ready to beg?"
>Your emotions start to boil when that smile showed itself, but you restrain yourself
'Too many guards in here'
>"Well?" He seemed really enthusiastic about this
>What an ass
>You take a look at the stationed guards once again. They all look bored
>Shining noticed your gaze, "Oooh, don't worry, I'm not that much of an animal"
>With daintly waive of his hoove, the guards slowly leaves and closes the doors with a slam
>You look up in his face with a scowl
"Let's get things straight Armor."
>You slowly walk back to the doors, withdrawing chains from under your cloak
"I'm not here to beg"
>After securing the chain with a lock on the door's handle, you turn slowly
"I'm here to take my Venus back."
>Shining snickers, "Or What? You'll nag me to submission? Stallions like you always do that when you don't get what you want, I should know, I live with them
>His mirth disappeard when he saw your scowling face
>You are only a few meters away from him now
>You drop your cloak
>He drops his jaw
>Multitude of throwing knives are strapped to your body
>He starts to shake, his eyes focuses on the axe on your belt
"You forget Armor." You keep a straight face "I'm not a stallion."
Fuck yes
Of course I'm reading this, and I'm liking it so far.
I think I'm gay for anon now.
Make that cretin BEG FOR DEATH! BEG!
Meh. Edge is always cringe-worthy.

I though of another situation.
What if Anon is forced to do what Shining wants without telling Venus?.

Then he dies, Venus is informed what happened and learn from another ponies what his father did to keep her, then she turns into a villian just to get back to the egg donating bitch and his gold digging husband.

That couple of fuckers took your dear father agains his will and make him do dispecable things, it is time to make tabs with them.

Didn't Aunty Celestia mentioned that there will be a new member of the royal family in the crystal empire?.
>What if Anon is forced to do what Shining wants without telling Venus?.
>Then he dies
Would not read/10
>"Y-you're j-just kidding r-right? T-those aren't real r-right? Right?"
>God he's shaking like my fucking alarm clock, and that thing broke my glass table
>You take a step forward, unsheathing a knife
"You know Armor, I'm never one to hold grudges" You inspect the fine crafted blade in your hand, "But after what you've done to me..."
>He's now cowering in his throne
>You shake your head, clearing out your thoughts
"I only have one question Armor. Why?"
>A moments silence, pierced the room
>It started small, but as every second comes, Shining starts to stand up on his throne
>He's standing straight now, wearing a scowl that could match yours
>WHY?! It's because you are stealing my wife from me! Stealing my life from me!
>You took a step back
>You are genuinely confused on this
>And it seemed he saw your confusion
>"I'm sure you've heard of my wife? Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the princess of love, the ruler of the Crystal Empire."
>His own anger now rising up
>"Your old marefriend" you could already taste the venom in his voice
>You throw the knife, embedding it near his head on the throne
>It startled him but he kept his anger up
"I have thrown everything that mare is out of my world," You unsheathed another knife, "I have never even thought about her after all these years and you're telling me I'm stealing her from you?"
>"She may be out of your world," He starts to charge his horn. "But you're not out of hers!"
>He shot a bolt of magic right at you
>You dodge and throw a knife on his horn
>It missed, but it was enough stop him from channeling another bolt
>You see the doors bulge inwards
'I hope the smith wasn't just swindling me'

Grade-A confidence boosters. thanks guys

I'm just glad somebody is actually reading and liking my stuff
That's all I can spit out right now, off to bed.
'Night guys
>Anon gets RD preggers
>He can't take her outside for five goddamn minutes without her thrusting out her belly and intimidating the other mares
>It's the weirdest power-struggle he's ever been a part of
Damn straight.
You'd think that ponies would be proud of being preggers.
Righto First is the Silly things, you asked for it, also shout out to BNW!

>Adjusting Rarity on your back you continue to follow after Fluttershy.
>”Th-then Angle had said that a carrot had gotten lodged in Mr. Bear’s r-rear!”
“Yikes, I hope he got better.”
>Fluttershy nods as she holds open the door to the cafe, “He did, but he was so tender, he had to lay on his tummy all the time!”
“Ouchie, say where are we sitting?”
>”U-um I think over here will work.”
>Following after the yellow and pink mare you soon find a booth to sit upon.
>Carefully laying Rarity out on the booth you hum.
“Hey, how long is she going to be out of it?”
>”I-I don’t really know, I’d o-offer using some cold w-water, but she’ll be so m-mad about her mane getting w-wet.”
“Not to worry Murry! Auntie Pinkie Pie will get it solved, we just need to get her some tasty food stuffs and before you know it her tum will wake her up!”
>Fluttershy’s worried look of concern eases up just a hair a small giggle escapes her, “W-well if you say so P-pinkie.”
“I know so!”
>Seeing a waiter come to take your orders you quickly make your orders.
>”Is she going to be alright?”
>Aw what a cutie.
“She’s fine she just fainted, hopefully some super yummy food will wake her up right quick!”
>The colt nibbles on his lip before nodding and makes for the kitchen, oh wowie zowie he’s got some good f-
>No bad Pinkie, gotta stay pure for Anon!
“Yeah Fluttershy?”
>Fluttershy stretches her wings before huddling in on herself once more, “U-um, since Rarity is still o-out of it, I s-suppose I sh-should tell you what we’re gathered here for.”
>You give her a nod focused on Fluttershy.
>Shrinking within herself more Fluttershy tries to continue, “Uh, w-well R-Rarity had th-thought that w-we could uh, h-h-herd together with A-Anon!”
>Fluttershy hides her face behind her hooves as if taking cover from one of your Party Cannons[™]
>Silly filly you left the big one at home!
>Though you have some new designs you’ve been working on you can’t wait to try!
>Oh wait she’s waiting on an answer and she looks really sad!
>”I-I can u-understand i-if you d-don’t-”
>The table rattles.
>You now have a flustered, oh so fluffy, cuddly pegasus in your hooves as you wrap her in a hug.
“Of course I’d wanna herd with you Shy-Shy! You’re like one of my bestest friends! Rarity too, even if she get’s super melodramatic at times, but it’s cool cuz she a true sis. Just like you!”
>Somewhere in the vomit of words you used you think you said something right as the sad look on the Fluttershy’s face slowly thaws away into a beaming smile, for her at least.
>”Oh I feel so happy that I could scream!”
>With a deep inhale you watch with some glee, maybe you’ll be able to actually get some noise ou-”
>Well there is always next time.
>You and Fluttershy poke an eye over to see Rarity flail her hooves as she sits upright.
>Rarity blinks in surprise before she automatically starts to fix her mane smoothing out any nonexistent loose hairs.
“Heyo Rarity!”
>You giggle at seeing Rarity jump in surprise before she turns around to lightly glare at you.
>”Darling! Please don’t scare me like that, where are we I remembered you saying the most ludicrous story abo-”
“That was actually real, so please don’t advertise it for everypone to hear please!”
>Baffled Rarity sucks in her lips unsure of what to say before the waiter from before comes back with the food!
“In the meantime let’s eat! Also Rarity?”
>”Uh, y-yes Darling?”
>You hold out a hoof to her and nod.
“I’m game if you are!”
>Rarity looks over to Fluttershy mouthing something before seeing Shy’s nod.
>Beaming Rarity lets out a giggle as she bumps hooves with yours, “To a fortunate future then! Now let’s dig in I’m starving!”
>Ah a mare after your own heart!

>Be the happiest horse in Equestria, Rarity!
>Yes everything is falling into place so well!
>Oh you hope that Anon is willing to try again.
>You know that your father and mother have the strangest relationship but you blame that on your Father being burned once too many times by a bad herd.
>Hopefully Anon will turn out for the better.
>Ooh they ordered your favorite, tulips sprinkled with rosemary, yes herding with mares who know you own tastes will definitely work out!
“So how should we go about talking with Anon?”
>”I-I think we just l-let him come to us, h-he seems to think of us w-well enough.”
>”Yeah I mean he was pretty frisky last morning!”
“Oh do tell Darling, how long did he go for? A minute?”
>Pinkie’s eyes glaze over and she shivers, “More like five!”
“Bwha? I know Rainbow and Applejack would embellish, but you too Pinkie?”
>”Oh no sister, they weren’t lying I betcha he could go longer, but we were pressed for time!”
>Fluttershy taps her hooves on the table, “G-girls come on, l-lets not try to f-fetishize A-Anon.”
“But Darling, it’s so hard not to! He's just so exotic, not to mention kind as you’ve said before, as a matter of fact I’ve never had such a hard worker before.”
>”H-he is really n-nice, h-huh?”
>”Exactly! So we just gotta not mess up and keep doing stuff the wa-”
>Confused you look over to see what could have interrupted Pinkie of all things.
>The happy mood that had surrounded your little group suddenly skips as you narrow your eyes at HER.
>Flanking her are that despicable Rainbow Dash and Applejack as they both notice your own group.
>That MARE of course takes the initiative to approach while you stand from your seat to face head on.
>With a bit of relief you hear Pinkie and Fluttershy fall into step beside you.
>You’re not afraid of no mare, but it’s nice to have the backup none the less.
>Manners are a mare’s armor Darling, keep it together.
>”So Applejack, Rainbow and I were planning on eating here, maybe talk about how to get Anon back, what brings you here?”
“What a coincidence, we were having a pleasant lunch before you arrived, though I think you’d be better off trying with another stallion, Darling.”
>Ha! Take the passive aggressive insults and eat it!
>Rainbow tactful as always butts in, “What are ya talking about? We’re going to convince him to take us back, just you wait!”
>”M-maybe i-if you w-weren’t s-so pushy a-all the t-time!”
>Dear Celestia Fluttershy you have brass ovaries!
>Rainbow looks more shocked at the fact that Fluttershy said something mean to her than the insult.
>”Yes well, that’s why we’re having our little planning session to resolve this problem, despite what others might think we still love him.” Twilight interjects flaring her wings in a small display of dominance.
“Do you now, are you really sure about that?”
>You stand up tall using every inch of your three foot five inches, plus the horn, to show off how pointy your horn is.
>Twilight narrows her eyes at you as she lets her horn start to glow subtly, “Of course I do.”
“Funny it almost seemed as if you loved more by what Anon does FOR you instead of him to me.”
>”Naow come on Rarity, t’aint fair to say that, we do love ‘em.”
>Turning your glare onto Applejack you soften it seeing the red rimmed eyes.
“I suppose so, but for others I don’t believe it to be true.”
>Pinkie clops her hooves together drawing everypony’s attention, “Come on girls can’t we just talk this out? I mean I’d rather we all be happy like Anon was yesterday!”

>Oh dear, Pinkie why?
>”Why was Anon happy yesterday?” Rainbow asks hovering above you all her wings keeping a stucco beat.
>”Uh, er, w-well uh he got to have a special surprise?”
“What she means to say is Anon had gotten some treats after a small accident at Sugar Cube Corner, right Pinkie?”
>”Of course! Not like I got to see Anon naked or did anything naughty with him after I sorta kinda spilled frosting on him.”
>Twilight’s deceptivly calm as she steps fowards making your herd mate quail, “You mean to tell me that you actually slept with Anon?”
“Darling you need to stop,” You say stepping in front of Twilight your own horn starting to charge a light blue. “you’re scaring Pinkie.”
>”Oh she should be scared, but not of me.”
>At the yell you look up to see Rainbow with tears in her eyes as she starts to beat her wings like a hummingbird before she dives at Pinkie!
>A flash of pink and the rainbow colored blur flies off course to pinpall off the walls.
>”You leave her alone!”
>Oh everything has gone teats up now.
>Twilight keeps her glare on you and you return it in full.
>You both know what has to happen now.

>Ponies quickly leave the building as they all know what happens when a herd starts to fight.
>You at least have the courtesy to vacate the building to the lot outside, Twilight gallops after you with her herd in tow.
>Twilight rears her head back with magic glowing thick and heavy on her head.
>Shy flies back into formation with the rest of your herd as you all tense getting ready for what she has.
>Prepping your own horn you shout to the others, “Pinkie take Applejack, Shy can you handle Rainbow?”
>”I’m sorry Rarity, I d-didn’t mean too. But I’ll try my best.”
“It’ll be fine Darling and that’s all I can ask.”
>“Don’t worry Rarity, Rainbow won’t beat me.”
“Then let’s go!”
>At your cry you charge forth with your herd just as Twilight counter charges with her own!
>Magic flies through the air as you combat Twilight, her magical missiles are bright and strong for sure, but they lack elegance, class!
>Weaving aside another burst of glittering purple light you riposte with a magical construct that snakes around her though she teleports away!
>You get a quick glance on your friends as you search for your target.
>Rainbow and Fluttershy are chest to chest with Fluttershy grinning savagely, “All natural Rainbow!”
>You move on galloping to see chairs and tables break from Pinkie and Applejack bump hips with each other.
>Pinkie grunts under the impact before Applejack boasts, “Sugarcube these hips were made for this, thanks to years of Applebucking!”
>Applejack tries to bump her again only to go flying as she bounces off Pinkies plot.
>”That’s years of baking! I got the cushion for the pushin!”
>Atta girl Pinkie.
>You leap over the counter and soon find your target as she finishes her magic.
>A large glowing orb of arcane script and barely contained energy, “Take this!”
>Throwing it at you, you plant your hooves and ignite your horn.
>That much energy, it has to have a weakpoint….
>With firing a beam with the pricison of threading the needle you pierce the orb making it explode in a shower of blue and purple glitter.
>Gritting her teeth Twilight teleports once more to reappear before you!
>Stumbling back you see her sweat concentrating as she suddenly splits into many Twilights that surround you!
>”Now you’re done for!” The chorus shouts as they all fire a magic beam at you!
>Ducking you levitate up glassware around you, wine glasses, beer mugs, anything with glass in it and hold them up to the lights.
>Upon hitting the lights refracts into a rainbow hued light show.
“Whahaha going to need to do better than that Darling!”

>With a magical pop Twilight shouts, “Applejack launch Rainbow!”
>You only have a moment to brace as Applejack leaps up and gives a mighty buck to a rainbow blur surrounded with a magical aura.
>Your mane flies backwards from the backwash of air as your hear a pop.
>Everything is ringing and you narrowly avoid a plank that had fallen from the ruined patio furniture.
>A hollow boom that echoes in your bones makes you look up to the sky to see Rainbow’s rainboom, only instead of the colors you expected to see it’s a pure corona of white that glows
>The white streak that had birthed that eye searing corona turns about heading stright for you!
“Girls get ready to catch!”
>”I don’t even have a doughnut ready for that!”
“Just trust me, Pinkie use your Cannons to slow her down!”
>Pinkie gives a sharp salute before she reaches into her mane with both hooves and out comes a pair of small cannons attached to her hooves.
>”I’m ready!”
>Cannon fire echoes beside you as blasts of confetti fly up to cushion Rainbow’s descent.
>”Wh-what do I do?”
“Darling I’m going to need your butterfly friends soon.”
>Fluttershy blinks in incomprehension before it dawns on her and she nods.
>Reaching out with your magic you quickly wrap Fluttershy in your own magical aura while she starts to fly around.
>A soft humming reaches your ears and you open your eyes to see your newest creation.
>Fluttershy flies up in a corkscrew motion drawing in the glitter of your magic, the confetti raining down and from the outside butterflies in a twister that rises up to the white streak!
>As Shy meets the blow head on the white streak suddenly veers in a tumble bleeding off into the normal rainbow you’ve become accustomed too.
>Tumbling through the tornado Fluttershy had made you watch in glee happy that the insane idea had actually worked!
>You’ve never used so much magic in such a short amount of time.
>You sway ever so slightly before you hear a rough and flat wat.
>Turning you look to see Anon with the most unamused look upon his face.
>Oh, you hope he’s not mad…
>Darkness welcomes you with open arms as you fall to the ground.
>Ugh, your mane is going to look horrid.

And that's what I've got so far! I think I went over the silly meter here.
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Keep going, Comfy!

Th-that is, whenever you have m-more green prepared.
Anon and Cadence's theme.


We need a straight up romance fic.

A thought:

While on holiday in the Empire (mostly to get away from those crazy Ponyville ponies for a while -- and Luna, who likes to break in and sniff his used underwear), Anon catches the eye of Cadence... and it's pretty much love at first sight from her.

Anon, however, is apathetic and completely disinterested in her.

Thus, Cadence has only a window of a week to woo/'wine and dine' Anon before he leaves for home.
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Rara is the true element of loyalty.
>>Gritting her teeth Twilight teleports once more to reappear before you!

U-unf, now that's some serious, bouncy fat ass, Rarara.
Healthy ponies have meat on them.
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id prefer fluttershys
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Now we just need Ponko and Comfy's Anon new and loyal herd is complete.
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>Multitude of throwing knives are strapped to your body
This guy mixed with the guy from the judas priest song the sentinel is what im picturing
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Oh yesss
>>26050538 >>26050503 >>26050671
Silly fillies, you know it's Kinkyshy
That would be the definition of edge.
sworn to avenge condemn to hell though so thats aight
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There should be some kind Anon/herd version.
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>Anon's face when
I'm picturing a rogue Machete.
With more or these replaced with throwing knifes all over the place.
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I thought machete as well, but no throwing knives. Im waiting on pic if it happens
Why not? We do it to Twilight like it's going out of style.
Anon just got to Equestria, mare offers to buy him lunch because chivalry and such. He says yes because free lunch, but also says he's so hungry he could eat a horse. Mares think he feels indebted to them and since he had nothing he is letting to eat them out. Almost all mares feel sad that he feels the bed to sell his body for food but one or two want to take him up on the offer but are disappointed because they expected oral but got nothing but a thanks and the promise he'd pay for them next time.
Looks like she rolled a 20.
Yes! That's the one! This isn't even her final form!

Her final form is horrible diarrhoea.
>Anon figures out his old herd will never leave him be.
>Tfw they're ruined for horsecock.
>Says they can be with him again, but only as slaves.
>Make them beg in public to prove their dedication.
>The whole town develops serious coltdom fetishes.

How else would they attract dangerous, sexy predators?

>That girl in the back

Is that a Twilight Velvet satyr?
Yes. Unicorn fetish.
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I'd pound ALL the pegasi.

>this means Anon cucked Twilight's dad

That's just sad.
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Oh yes, all the pegasi.
Alternate universe or something. Don't be so bleak.
Maybe Velvet got kicked out of Nightlight's herd?

>Velvet leaves Night Light's herd as part of a midlife crisis.
>Hooks up with the much younger Anon and gets pregnant by him
>this pisses off Twilight and Shining

Which one first? Whose belly shall be filled with glorious white humanity first?
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The buttery yellow one.