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>"Why did you throw a bucket of water...
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

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>"Why did you throw a bucket of water at me?!"
that's not water.
"I didn't, I swear... I-it was that other Anon!"
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It's farking hot cunt.
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So everyone can see how I make you wet.
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Cause yo ass is on fire!
You stuck me with like 20 different needles Twilight.
Do ponies stink if they get wet?
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Negative reinforcement so that you can learn from your mistakes. I know you haven't been in Canterlot since Twiggy Piggy was a unicorn, but she has wings now.

Tell Chrysi I said hello.
They smell like wet _____

for charity
"It's raising awareness for ALS, Twi."
"...wait, shit. I forgot the ice."
"We're gonna have to try again."
I thought you were Starlight Glimmer.
I knew those wings were just painted on.
>multiple Anons in Equestria
I don't even know what I expected to read in that spoiler.
Because you looked thirsty
Because it's hilarious
wel fuck I'm sorry
I fucking slipped, bitch
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How else am I suppose to simulate my drowning fetish?
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Because you were being a hothead and needed to COOL down

What? Thought I was Carlos? [/spoilers]
I wanted to see if you would melt.
You're in heat and you tried to rape me.
Are your senses back yet? Back to reason now?
Oh sorry. Did you want me to throw something else on you princess?
>Twilight's body is covered in cum
>Before she does anything, she becomes a frozen Cumcicle.
>Her whole body is frozen and solid, except her flank.
>Asshole and mare pussy still warm Maybe wet too
>They all look and sound the same
sorry about the water
I was trying to hit you with a bucket
Was that a part of your BUCKET LIST!?
"Hmm that one didn't work"
>Thankfully there are other tests.
>"What do you mean that one?"
"Oh nevermind, it was just a prank bro
>"Well alright. But please dont do it again, I'm set to meet with some delegates late. And I'd prefer to meet them while dry."
>She shakes off some excess water before heading back to Caatle Eyesore.
>But that won't stop you.
>You know damn well that Twilight is secretly a witch.
>Bitch turned you into a newt last Saturday.
>How can you prove it to the townsfolk though?
>All you want in life is a good old fashion burning at the stake.
>But no, the denizins of your new home town are set on keeping thier 'princess' away from the purifying flames.
>Dirty tyrant dabbling in black magics.
>Suddenly you're struck with a bout of pure genius.
>With that, you head back to your workshop.
>One Twilight bridge coming right up.
>What could possibly go wrong?
>Deus vult!
Continue this.
It was done on my phone let me set up my laptop
Continue this on your laptop after you set it up.
Sounds hot
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>pic related

moar pls

also does anyone know of a green with equestria having a yearly purge/cleansing event?
Alright Anons, I need an assistant to Anon (dim witted or otherwise). Any recommendations?
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CMC it is, for the record it's somewhere ambiguously before when they got their marks.
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>"its just a frank bro"
>You are Sir Anon of House Ymous
>A Teutonic knight
>It was the Year of our Lord, 1370
>You were out in a recently conquered Lithuanian stronghold.
>They had put up a strong resistance, but in the end Prussian steel painted the fields red with Pagan blood.
>You and your dear friend Frederick were wandering the streets when you heard a commotion from a nearby home.
>As you broke down the door, the locals got the drop on you.
>Everything went black.
>When you awoke, you found yourself stripped of all weapons and armor.
>You were tied onto a chair; Frederick was in front of you.
>Laying atop a table, his ribcage torn apart and villagers painting strange runes into the floor with his blood.
>Their head came to approach you, muttering his chants in a foul sounding tongue.
>He threw some form of onto you and you began choking.
>Sometimes you can still feel the gravely residue in your throat.
>You fell into a deep sleep, and when you woke up you found yourself in a strange town filled with small horses.
>The rest is history; you got yourself set up as a carpenter and blacksmith and devoted your life to spreading the word of God.
>And to eradicating all forms of dark magics.
>You owe no fealty to this ‘princess’ and you knew that her diabolic scheming would someday be the doom of this town… maybe this world.
>She visibly cringes when you recite Biblical verses, and you’ve seen her ‘fits’ when something doesn’t go her way.
>The evidence is conclusive.
>Twilight Sparkle is a witch.
>And so, she must burn.
>As you trudge through town you notice one of the resident ponies approaching you.
>”Hey Anon, still fixating on the whole ‘Twilight is practicing dark magic’ again?”
>Yee of little faith.
“Hail, Lyra. It isn’t fixating if it’s the truth.”
“Perhaps it is still ‘fixating’ but the point still stands. Someone has to protect this town from darkness.”
>The light green equine begins to walk with you.
>You’re eyes face forward with determination, but you can’t help but feel that she’s staring at your hands.
“Yes Lyra, jointed digits. Stop staring, my eyes are upwards.”
>”How do you always know!”
“A knight’s intuition.”
>Actually it was just probability; she rarely focuses on anything else unless you point it out.
>”You should give me some lottery numbers.”
“Greed is a sin.”
>”You are no fun.”
>She quips in her playful demeanor.
>You must relent that her company has been a one of the few positives to being placed in this strange colorful world.
“On the contrary, tales of my order’s exploits always liven up the local inn.”
>For seemingly peaceful people (?) the ponies of Equestria do love a tale involving conflict.
>Perhaps you should write a novel on your time with the Teutons.
>No. Focus on the task at hand.
“Lyra, could you do me a favor?”
>Ugg, some of the local vernacular has shifted into your speech.
>”Maybe, but it’ll cost you.”
“Three minutes”
“Very well. Five minutes of ear scratching.”
>You can feel as her aura of joy thickens the air around you.
“I need you to fetch the squires, have them come to my workshop at high noon.”
>With that, the plucky mare leaves your company.
>”Bye Anon, see you at noon. And remember: five. Not three, not four. Five.”
This is it for tonight. If the thread still draws, I shall continue on the morrow. Deus Vult Anons.

>This land is strange, but you have adapted.
>Notably that ‘magic’ is a commonplace.
>However you have learned that many forms are taboo or outright illegal by the monarch’s word.
>These dark forms are what you have sworn to hunt.
>Twilight Sparkle is considered to be one of the premier magic users in the land.
>She constantly breaks records and makes developments in magical fields.
>The ponies hold her up as a paragon of society.
>But you know the truth.
>Deep in the bowels of Castle Eyesore, lays a dungeon.
>You were tasked to reinstall a new cell door, but you wandered.
>There was one room that struck you, and you only got a glimpse before Twilight found you and ushered you back.
>But in that room, you saw runes.
>Identical in style to those that sent you here.
>Painted in blood.
>That moment was when you started your Crusade.
>When she turned you into a newt last Saturday, it was the last straw.
>But, you could not openly storm the Castle.
>Twilight is much loved, and you would surely be put to death should you remove the witch.
>So you had employed three young ‘crusaders’ in your quest.
>They seemed eager to prove themselves.
>How did they put it?
>Ah yes.
>Quirky and naive, but not without use.
>They had proved themselves when they helped you destroy a pack of Timberwolves that had been harassing local farms.
>They were bait.
>But amazing bait.
>You managed to catch the entire pack into a single pitfall trap.
>Didn’t even have to draw your sword.
>But enough reminiscing, you had arrived at your workshop on the outskirts of town.
>Now to come up with a plan that would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that witchcraft is being performed right under this town’s nose.
>The darkness shall not claim this town.
>Not while you still draw breath.
Verily, thou hast provided a great bounty this eve. I shall look forward to its completion.
To try and wash away the dirty, dirty horse smell.
God damn she got hit with water so hard that her front legs broke and bent the wrong way at her elbows. What have we done?
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Shake it, Baby.
You use magic, therefore are a witch, I wanted to see if you'd melt.
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To see you shimmy like the dumb mutt you are, O Princess of Purple.
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It's good. Want more.
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I had a pet pony as a kid when I lived out on the ranch. They do smell different when wet, but its like less than 1/10th the musk of a wet dog.
>You hear a not so gentle rapping at your chamber door.
>Excellent timing.
“Greetings little ones.”
>As you open the door, the three young fillies rush into your home.
>”Howdy mister Anon, are we gonna help you hunt more Timberwolves?”
>”Yeah, that was so awesome.”
>Sweetie however holds a different opinion.
>”Awesome? Scootaloo we spent hours running for our lives!”
>”Yeah, that’s pretty much the definition of awesome. Rainbow Dash even said so when I told her about it.”
>”Rarity just grounded me for being ‘reckless.’”
>”That’s just cause she isn’t as cool as Rainbow.”
>”Well if I have any say in it, Applejack is cooler than both of them combined.”
>”YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” The other two yell in unison.
“Enough children!”
>You say in a moderate yet firm voice.
>Silence, as the three fillies line up in front of you.
“Now, as you all know, Twilight is a witch.”
>”Well duh, everyone knows that Twi can use magic. It’s kind of her thing.”
“Not so hasty Scootaloo, remember that dark magic is afoot.”
>As mention ‘dark magic’ the fillies visibly shudder.
“Now, because Twilight is so famous, nobody will believe me without hard evidence. Thus we need said evidence before the town will agree to give Twilight an… intervention.”
>With fire.
>Best not to spook the kids too much.
“I know exactly where that evidence can be found, but I’m going to need all three of you to help me.”
>”Sure Anon, you just have to ask.” Sweetie adds in.
>”That’s what he’s doing right now.” Scoot quips.
>”Quiet you two; I want to hear his plan.”
“Thank you Apple Bloom. Now, you’ve probably heard that a few dignitaries from nearby cities are meeting with Twilight today. That means that she’ll be unable to catch us while we get the evidence.”
>”Where exactly is this evidence mister”
“I’m glad you asked Apple Bloom, the evidence is in the dungeon of Castle Eyesore. We are going to break into Twilight’s castle.”
>Silence, as the young ones look at you in shock.
>Perhaps you’re asking too much of them, after all you did just ask them to break into the home of one of their monarchs.
>”I wonder what that cutie mark would look like…”
>The girls descend into their discussions about their ‘marks’ while you get the rest of your supplies ready.
>Rope, check
>Grappling hook, check
>Lock picking set, check
>Matches, check
>Should be everything you need.
>Before setting off you stare into your mirror.
>This ‘denim’ and ‘flannel’ that Rarity crafted for you holds up quite well, and ‘cotton’ undergarments are much more comfortable than woolen trousers.
>You beard has been growing quite nicely, and the scar over your left eye is ever present.
>Unfortunately for you, however, apparently facial hair and scars are seen as attractive to females here.
>You enjoy the company of the ponies, but you don’t enjoy the COMPANY of them.
>Many a mare have been let down easily by you.
>You are unsure if you will ever ‘adapt’ that much.
>Anyway, Twilight is set to introduce the delegates about now.
>By the time you reach the Castle, she should be well into talks.
>Get in, get to her secret room, get evidence, rally the townsfolk, burn the witch.
>What could possibly go wrong?
>”Hey Anon, What’s this?”
>You look to Sweetie, who is un-crumpling one of your discarded schematics.
>”And what’s a Twi-Bridge?”
“I’ll explain on the way. Put that back and let’s go.”
>Locking up your home, you set off for the center of town.
“Now you see girls, despite Apple Blooms insistence that witches melt when in contact in water, Twilight proved to be insoluble.”
>”In solve you what?” Scoots asks.
“Non-melting. Anyway, I needed proof, so I used basic witch logic.”
>The fillies follow you and listen with glee.
>The one thing they certainly don’t lack is enthusiasm.
“Now, one of the sure fire witch tests is to weight down the supposed witch and throw them into a body of water. If they float, then obviously witchcraft is involved. Taking into account that wood-“
>”What about the ones that don’t float?” Sweetie speaks up.
>Word this carefully.
“Well, that means that they probably were just hiding their dark magic.”
>”Then what if they didn’t have any magic.” Apple bloom asks as the obvious next question.
“Uhh… God will watch over them.”
“Back to the point: Witches float. Wood also floats.”
>Also both witches and wood are highly flammable.
“So, I asked myself. How to prove that Twilight is in fact made of wood, therefore a witch.”
>”I don’t think that’s how it work-“
“Quiet Scoots. The genius overcame me; bridges are in fact made of wood. Thus to prove that Twilight is a witch, I would make a bridge out of her.”
>”But then why are we breaking into the castle.”
“I’m glad you asked that Sweetie.”
>You stop on the main bridge in the center of town.
“You see this bridge?”
>The fillies nod.
“Made of stone.”
>You stomp your foot on the bridge a couple of times.
“And stone sinks. That kind of ruined the whole ‘Twi-Bridge’ idea.”
>You resume walking.
“Come now, just a bit further.”
More coming in a few hours.

>You and your squires circle to the back entrance of the castle.
>The roads seem to be quite empty today, probably for the best.
>You attempt to push the door open.
“Damn. It’s barred from the other side.”
>No lock pick can help you there.
>You stop for a minute to think and review options.
>1) Break the door down, probably alerting everyone inside.
>2) Circle around to the main door, probably encountering Twilight on the way.
>3) Taking your-
>”Hey Anon.”
“Yes Scootaloo?”
>”Look.” She says while pointing to the upward.
>The door itself is some twelve feet high, but another couple feet above that is a window.
>An open window.
>Too small for you to fit through, but one of the young ones might be able to squeeze through.
>You begin tying a length of rope to your grappling hook.
“Scoots, I need you to climb this and remove the door bar on the other side.”
>”Ah Mister, why does She get to go?” Apple Bloom asks.
>You throw the hook, but miss the angle and it comes back down.
>You catch it and try again.
“Because the drop will be around fourteen feet: You or Sweetie would injure yourselves from the fall, but Scootaloo can flutter down.”
>Scoots has a wide smile on her face, probably from you placing faith in her less than average flying skills.
>”I won’t let you down.”
>The second time you toss the hook it catches.
>Picking up Scootaloo, you help her as far up the rope as you can reach.
>Soon you see her toss the hook down, and squeeze through the window.
>Now it’s up to her.
>Thankfully, you don’t hear a loud crash on the other end.
>You hear a bar slide against the door.
>And see the door creaking open.
“Good job, but we’re just getting started. Stay close and be quiet.”
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