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My Little Progress:Technology Isn't...
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 489
Thread images: 101
TS: I can't really believe your story Anon, buildings with over a 100 levels? Flying boats bigger than Ponyville? And yet there's no magic in your world? Please.
>Growing tired of Twilight's berating, you go out into the world to prove her wrong.

That's the prompt that started it all. So what is thread about? It's about Anon bring human science and inventions to Equestria and a disbelieving Twilight.

Thread Story List.

previous thread:
I really want to start a greentext story in this universe. Just thinking of ideas.
> mfw were actually 15 threads in
>Legend tells of the human race, who briefly appeared for a time, then mysteriously disappeared
>The last time humans appeared, the minotaur race emerged, an evolution from normal bovines brought about through human intervention
>Minotaurs still hold the belief that one day the human race shall appear again and bring them into the next step of their evolution

My problem is that I love writing about boring things in different universes. Like, how would Anon build a skyscraper? How would he design it when even Moondancer's skeptical that it's possible? What kind of blunders would he get himself into while trying to build this?

In a similar vein, a census would be fun to write. Or maybe a road trip through Anontopia from someone else's point of view? Or (similar to the first one) Anon trying to solve an overpopulation problem by expanding rapidly, which would mean that Anontopia would have a bunch of world records (tallest building, largest building, highest urban density) that Equestria wants to keep? It's not fighting monsters or griffin bandits, and I'm not sure if it'd be worth the time.
>Tfw i want to write for this thread again after what happened last time
>Finds an sorta interesting prompt but cant care for minotaurs at all
>Prompt wont work with any other race
Why must life be so full of suffering........checked
I say go for it. I personally would like to see that stuff. I mean a story doesn't have to be about some grand adventure. A story about having Anon with the knowledge and drive to improve the quality of life of those around him in such drastic ways and having to contend with challenges such as limited resources, or knowledge of how to do so, or even unexpected problems (Like trying to feed enough people due to a huge flux of immigrants to his town and causing a overpopulation crisis) could be an interesting read. If you have the idea on what to write you should owe it to yourself to try and write it.
well, theres always pones and making Centaurs or satyrs
Yeah, I'm sure if you add a bit of comedy or slice of life everyone would still ready it.
Fuck it, I'll see what I can do.
Cool,l i'm looking forward to see what you write
Potential writefag here. I just fleshed out a huge outline and I'm going to write some green in a few minutes.
We need more Vikings in Equestria.

Gather Sons of Odin!
>Bat Ponies are the result of ponies brought into space/used to colonize the moon by humans
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Previously on: http://pastebin.com/HuM8TczH

>The guards quickly jump at Mythic Crown, but he casts a spell which summons a force field around him.
>The guards crash against it, hurting themselves as Mythic Crown casts another spell; teleporting himself out of the room.
>”Where is he?”
>”FIND HIM!” Celestia orders.
>”Yes your majesty,” the royal guards reply.
>They quickly exit Anon’s house.
>Celestia lets out a sigh.
“I’m sorry about this Anonymous…I should’ve been more careful.”
>”Don’t worry Princess Celestia. If your guards catch him you’ll give him a proper punishment right?”
>She nods.
>Princess Luna looks at Starry Sun.
>”We’ll do the same with him…a few years in the dungeon ‘wise them up’.”
>That pun was so lame it made you roll your eyes.
>Katya and Silk Ribbon walk up to the Princesses.
>”Princesses… Lunch is served.”
”I don’t know if we should eat something, especially when Mythic Crown escaped like that…”
>Just as you finished saying that your stomach rumbles once again.
>”It’s okay Twi, The royal guards will find him. Wherever he is…” Anon says in a comforting way.
>”Tell me human, will there be more of that ‘toast’?” Luna asks.
>”Of course Princess Luna!” Anon says with a laugh.
>The Princesses walk out the door, and so do Laika, Silk Ribbon and Moondancer.
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>”Yes Twi?”
“I’m so sorry about-”
>Anon shushes you up.
>“Shh…don’t say anything Twi, as you can see we’re all doing fine here. There’s no reason to feel guilty.”
“Y-yeah…but the diamond dogs, and…the monsters and-“
>”About the monsters, as you saw earlier; Celestia, the most benevolent pony in Equestria didn’t touch her heart to order her guards to imprison one of her ‘wise’ ponies. See Twi? Those decisions are though to make, but she had to do something about it.”
“Yeah I guess…”
>Anon smirks.
>”Hey Twi, cheer up! I’m kind of surprised she didn’t send you to do her job this time.”
>You both laugh.
>That comment made you feel a bit better.
“Aww, Anon…”
>”It’s so good to see you again Twi…I kinda missed you.”
“I missed you too Anon. But at the same time I feel proud that you improved the lives of many ponies and diamond dogs.”
>You look at the window and see everyone happily eating with the Princesses.
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>You look at the window and see everyone happily eating with the Princesses.
>(”What is this sorcery?!”) Princess Luna gets startled over the toast jumping out of the toaster, which makes everyone laugh.
>(“Please pass the egg salad Boris…”)
>(“Here you go Katya…”)
>(“GAH! Ryzhik! Don’t do that again!”)
>You giggle.
“So, Anon? What’s the next step?”
>”Oh you know, now that the Tatzlwurms will leave us alone we will be able to keep building stuff. I guess we’ll have to finish that hospital and build a hotel to receive newcomers with open arms.”
“Seems you have things figured out.”
>”To be honest Twi…I don’t, this whole diplomacy and politics thingy is quite exhausting.”
>You giggle.
“Told you! Now who does the smile and wave thing?”
>Anon rolls his eyes in a friendly way.
>”Let’s eat something, I bet you didn’t eat some breakfast before coming here huh?”
>Your stomach rumbles once again.
>”I think we both know the answer. Come on, let me show you why this place is called the Valley of Abundance.”
“Before we go Anon…”
“Could you please show me how a fridge works without magic?”
>He lets out a chuckle.
>”Sure Twi…”
LP is back!
He's been back for while
>The Nightmare Moon incident wasn't about making night eternal
>The humans offered an alliance to conquer all surrounding territory to expand their crowded borders
>Celestia refused the offer, not wanting any unnecessary bloodshed
>Luna thought otherwise and believed that the way to attain peace with the other nations is through fear
>If they lead a successful invasion, then the other nations would be too afraid of their military might to attack
>She took her own nightguard and helped lead both forces with the human general
>She took on the form of Nightmare Moon to appear more frightening in the battlefield
>Before their first invasion, Celestia caught wind of Luna's plans and stops the invasion
>Fight ends with Luna being banished to the moon along with most of the humans' army
>With no soldiers to defends themselves, the human nation dissolves and they eventually go extinct
>Thousand years later and the batponies become members of Equestrian society again
>They still regard humans in high regard, even after all this time
>When a lone human is found outside a batpony colony, they believe it to be a sign that he will lead the bat ponies to greatness
>(“Please pass the egg salad
I like you.
>Age of empires 2
My nigga
Favorite civ?
LP's what we called my grandfather. Makes me smile whenever I see it.
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Here goes.

>Be Anon
>You wake up alone in your bed, as usual
>You step into the bathroom and take a quick shower
>The water is heated by a water heater you designed and is brought from the river and filtered by systems you designed
>It took you almost a decade and a universe jump to do something with your life, but here you are
>When you get out of the shower and dry off, you walk over to the closet and choose one of your suits
>The gray one feels like a good choice today
>You walk out of your room and downstairs
>North Point is already cooking breakfast
>Minuette is already sitting at the table
>You sit down and North Point levitates a plate of food over to you in her blue magic grip
>”So, Anon, you have anything good planned for today’s speech?”
>Today is the five year anniversary of the founding of Lancaster
>You’re supposed to give a speech in front of all the residents of the town
“Yeah, I know what I’m going to say.”
>”Well, what are you going to talk about?”
“I’ll keep it short, but there’s a lot to say. I’d like to keep it a surprise, though.”
>North Point shrugs and sits down

>Minuette looks over at you
>”You two have any bright ideas to solve the overpopulation problem?”
>Ever since you founded the town, all sorts of ponies poured in from around the world
>Hell, there are even some griffins and a few diamond dogs here
>But you couldn’t build enough houses to satisfy demand, and living conditions are cramped at best
>Luckily, you have a solution
“North, do you remember the first drawing I showed you?”
>”You mean the impossible one?”
“Well, it’s not impossible. I think our refineries have progressed far enough to make steel.”
>”You think so?”
“Yeah. That’s the one reason I couldn’t build it until now. I think it would solve the problem and give us some experience.”
>”I hardly think building something like that can just be experience.”
“But it has to be. Point is, I think we should start drafting plans for it, and I’m going to talk about it today.”
>”I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell the world about this before we even have plans drawn.”
“It’s really the only way to solve the overpopulation problem, though. It’d be relatively quick, and I already know about the engineering aspect of it.”
>”If you think so, then I trust you.”
>You stand up, put your now empty plate in the sink, and head out into town
>Minuette and North Point follow close by you as you walk down the street
>Your house is almost identical to the other few on this block
>It almost looks like something you’d see in a neighborhood from Earth
>Ponies wave to you as you pass by on the cobblestone streets
>You turn the corner and arrive on Main Street
>The houses here are the first in the city and are made from adobe bricks
>They may look primitive, but you know firsthand about the massive power grid and water lines that run the city
>A throng of ponies, griffins, and diamond dogs is growing right in front of you
>Someone sees you and lets out a cheer
>The crowd erupts into cheering and applause as you make your way to the small stage
>On your way up, North Point stops you
>”Blow them away.”
>You walk up to the stage waving to the audience
>The crowd cheers loudly and the ponies all clap by stomping their hooves on the ground
>You smile at the sight
>You sure have come a long way in the seven years you’ve been in Equestria
Okay..what the hell happened to to the dashxanon story about anon helping her fulfill her moms wish to build tech and all that shit while twiggy acts like a stuck up poner?
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>Minutes later.
>You finish eating the delicious lunch made by Anon’s citizens.
>That meal sure filled a hole!
>”Now it’s time for dessert~” Silk Ribbon sings.
>The small puppy called Ryzhik serves each pony and diamond dog some ice cream.
>”Why thank you little puppy,” Celestia says in her motherly tone.
>“I hope you like it your Higness, we prepared it with a fruit we found growing here the first time we arrived…we ate it pretty much everyday because the monsters didn’t let us make our farms in peace, we ate it so much Anon eventually got tired of it.”
>Princess Celestia giggles.
>”Very well.”
>Both Celestia and Luna try the ice cream.
>They open their eyes, and their pupils go small.
>”Uhh…Princess Celestia?”
>”Dear sister, is this what we think it is?” Luna asks.
>”I’m afraid yes dear sister…it’s the Golden Sprout! I thought it went extinct eons ago…”
>Anon grabs a fruit from a basket and places it on the table.
>”What, this yellow fruit?”
>They both clap their hooves.
>”Yes! This fruit makes everything taste way more delicious when mixed with any other food. It was very valuable back in the day, but all the trees in Equestria were burnt down in one of those fights the Pegasi and the Earth Ponies used to have.”
>”Please take good care of these fruits human,” Luna says, “maybe they can attract investors and you’ll country will grow up.”
>”Huh, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind Princess Luna.”

>All of a sudden, an injuried guard arrives to the town.
>”P-Princess Celes…” that’s all he can say before falling on the ground.
>Anon and his citizens stand up and help him.
>”What happened?!” He asks, “Doc! Get over here!”
>The doctor arrives to assist him, his students follow behind.
>The weakened royal guard mutters some words.
>”Mythic Crown…Manticores…coming to town-”
>The guard faints.
>”Manticores?!” Autumn Tulip yells.
>”C-calm down dearie!” Her husband says, “if you get stressed you’ll harm the foal.”
>Some ponies start to panic.
>Anon stands up.
>”Okay everybody, you know the drill! Mares! Take cover in the shelter! Silk Ribbon, guide the girls and calm them down!”
>”Y-yes Anon…”
>”Guys! You know what to do…”
>They nod.
>Moondancer teleports Anon’s weapon with a box full of small yellow cilinders.
>”Be careful okay?” She says.
>Anon grabs his weapon and stuffs it with the metal cilinders.
>”Come on guys!”
>You stand up.
“I’m coming with you…”
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Shit's about to get real.
>Anon's face when he confronts Mythic
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>You look at the injuried guard, blood pours out of his body profusely.
>”Get me some bandages!” The doctor yells.
>So it was for real.
>How could you be so insensitive?!
>The monster threats Anon’s town suffered since they settled down must’ve been pretty intense if he had no other choice but to fight back.
>And you’ve done nothing but call him a murderer.
>”No Twilight! Stay here with Luna and Celestia!”
>The Princesses want to fight as well, but Laika and Katya prevent them from joining Anon and his team.
>”It’s for your own safety…please come with us to the shelter,” Silk Ribbon says.
>You’ve seen it happen once to Anon.
>”Please, do as they say Twi…I don’t want you to get hurt.”
>You follow Silk Ribbon and Moondancer.
>”Be careful okay Anon?”
>”I already said that…” Moondancer adds.
Will Anon to learn something from Moondancer and Twilight's beliefs of the magic of Friendship?
Will he stay true to his ruthless philosophy of kill or be killed?
Will his ideas clash with the compassionate nature of Celestia?
Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z!

Over six years earlier:
>You flipped off Twilight one last time before turning back to the road ahead of you
>That stupid bitch didn’t believe you? Well you’ll have to show her.
>But, more importantly, right now you have no place to sleep
>There might be one pony who can help you, though
>Applejack’s farmhouse is dark at this time of night
>You knock on the door and the tired mare opens it
>”Anon? What’re you doin’ out here this late at night?”
“Twilight kicked me out because she thinks I’m lying about all the things that humans have done.”
>”Well, what kinds’a things?”
“Skyscrapers, electricity, planes, space travel, cars, running water, and lots more. Basically, anything that can be used without magic.”
>”Well, shucks. If she’s really kickin’ you out, you can stay. Ah don’t got a spare bed, but Ah can let you sleep on the couch.”
>Better than nothing
“Thanks, AJ. I’ll definitely make it worth your time.”
>”Darn tootin’! You think Ah’m gonna let you stay here fer free? Big Mac needs help fixin’, well, just ‘bout everything right now! Tell you what, Ah need my sleep, and you need yours. Breakfast is at dawn. We can talk more then.”
>She trots upstairs, and you lay your head on the couch, hell-bent on proving Twilight wrong

>You wake up to the sound of hooves trotting across the room
>You crack an eye open and expect to see Twilight pacing around your room
>Instead, you’re met with Applejack’s farmhouse
>You grind your teeth as you recall last night
>What a great way to start off the day!
>Your stomach growls and you walk into the dining room
>The table is full of different types of food, apple-related or not
>The Apple family is already seated and waiting for you
>You sit down and take a bite of an apple fritter
“So what’s the plan for today?”
>”Big Mac and Ah were plannin’ on liftin’ some hay up to the hayloft.”
“Perfect! I can help with that.”
>After breakfast, the three of you go out to the barn
>A big pile of hay bales is waiting by the doors
>Big Mac opens the door and Applejack climbs up to the hayloft
>”Grab one of them there bales of hay and throw it up to me, Anon!”
>Really? They’re going to just throw them up in the air?
“Hang on, I have an idea! Do you have a pulley?”
>”A what?”
“A small wheel or something. And some rope!”
>You spot some rope on the floor and carefully take a wheel from your wagon
>After a few minutes of work, you get the pulley on the ceiling and ready to go
>You tie a bale of hay with the rope
“Pull the end of the rope up there!”
>Applejack grabs the rope in her teeth and smoothly pulls the hay up to the hayloft
>”That’s mighty nifty, Anon! But it wasn’t as quick as just throwin’ ‘em up here.”
“Mac, you like this idea?”
>”Mac threw out his neck doin’ this last week. It may not be as easy, but we need him healthy.”

>You kept working until the sun set
>Applejack started to realize what other things pulleys could be used for
>”And when Ah want to raise a barn, Ah could do it with just mahself and Big Mac!”
>”What other stuff you got in that head of yours, Anon?”

>Six months later, and you’ve worked your ass off
>Big Mac taught you everything he knew about hard labor
>Applejack let you test some of your ideas on Sweet Apple Acres
>You put plumbing and electricity in the entire house
>You’ll never forget the look on Granny Smith’s face when she saw the house lit up
>You wanted them to come with you to help build a town, but you knew they’d stay in Ponyville
>Still, you know where you need to go now
>Dodge Junction
>From what Applejack says, there are lots of ponies there that would love to help
>You wanted to cut through the Everfree to get there, but AJ insisted you take the long way
>”Ah’m not lettin’ you go through that there forest alone. Go up through Canterlot and down the river to Dodge Junction. It may be longer, but it’s safer than the forest.”
>You decided to accept her advice and left for Canterlot the next day
>When you walked past Twilight’s castle pulling your cart, she stood in the doorway
>”Come back so soon, Anon?”
“Go to hell. I’m not going to let you call me a liar. My goal is still the same: build a city and prove you wrong.”
>She rolled her eyes
>”Well, good luck. I’ll see you in a week.”
>She slammed the door and you walked off again, seething with anger

That's it for tonight. Tomorrow, Canterlot!

>You are now Anon.
>And you’re nervous as fuck.
>Manticores coming straight to the town? That has never happened until now!
>It must’ve been the work of that bastard of Mythic Crown.
>Some of the doctor’s students follow behind in case Celestia and Luna’s guards are injuried.
>They are very young, but you’re sure that they’ll do their best.
>Laika and Katya scout ahead.
>You make sure the ponies and the rest of the diamond dogs come well armed.
>Although the diamond dogs made spears for the ponies and taught them how to use them, you’ll make sure they don’t have to.
>You feel some familiar teeth biting on your butt once again.
“GAH! Ryzhik! What are you doing here?!”
>He releases you.
>”I want to help!”
>Fucking kid.
>You grab him and put him back on the ground, then you order him to return to safety.
“Maybe when you’re older…leave the fighting to us okay?”
>”…Okay, take care of my sister, she’s all I have.”
“Don’t worry little buddy…”
>You turn around and keep running.
>You spot some guards laying on the ground, about to be eaten by the manticores.
>This is it.
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>You aim your rifle and shoot a manticore directly on its head.
>The bullet pierces right through its head.
>Your citizens help the guards by fighting the manticores with their spears.
>Laika and Katya viciously attack a manticore biting its neck.
>You go girl.
>Chrome Craft and Thunder Soul lift some rocks and throw them into the air, so they can kick them with their hind legs.
>They might not do any sort of damage, but at least they serve as a distraction for you to take aim once again and shoot.
>You really need to build another gun.
>And you need to make models for diamond dogs and ponies as well.
>”Anon! What’s wrong with that guard?!”
“Shit, he’s paralyzed! Give him some of our potions before he dies!”
>One of the doctor’s students runs to the paralyzed guard and injects him with a potion Moondancer developed herself.
>”There are dozens of them!” Laika yells.
“Yeah, and I have dozens of bullets as well…”
>You keep firing at the vicious manticores, while Laika kills another manticore with her bare claws and sharp teeth.
“Watch out for the poison! Don’t let them sting you!”
>All of a sudden.
>Many of those disgusting insects crawl their way out of the underground.
>One of them spits acid at Laika.
>Luckily it missed.
>This has never happened before…
>Two species of monsters attacking at once and wanting to go to the town?!
>A loud roar is heard from the distance.
>You and your citizens spot a hydra from far away.
>It’s coming close.
"Why is this happening!?” You yell in frustration.
>”…Okay, take care of my sister, she’s all I have.”
>“Don’t worry little buddy…”
Fuck, Mythic Crown is a crazy sumbitch!
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Dwarf Fortress it! Shut the gates release the magma!
If Anon loses this fight, Crown can claim that Anon is unfit to rule.

If Anon wins Crown can use it as proof that Anon is too powerful and too much of a threat.

It's a win-win for Mythic Cock
I miss that story too
That would be grasping at straws in my opinion.
the dickbag has no credibility as this point
Anon is like a Legend of the West with his rifleing at this point.
>Anon stares at encroaching horde
>With no hope for victory he issues the command
"Initiate Project Fuck The World"
>With this order he hopes to wipe out the monsters with flood of magma while his citizens hide in their safehouse
> However due to a tiny mistake in construction instead of flooding the city and the surrounding area with magma he floods the safehouse killing everyone.

10/10 would play again, best city
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>Anon didn't label his levers correctly
>Accidentally opens the floodgates that lets him refill his well
>Three of his city's lowest levels flood before Anon notices
>Fucking ponies decide to throw a party in the dining hall instead of pulling the lever to close the floodgate again
Byzantines, Spanish and Teutons


>”There’s too many of them Anon!” Laika yells.
“I know!”
>”What should we do?!”
>Concentrate Anon, just concentrate…
>You close your eyes for a couple of seconds to think.
>The words of Laika’s father, the one who has survived long enough in this hostile place, come to your mind.
>[“If one day you’re outnumbered, just make the monsters fight between each other…then run!”]
“That’s it! Laika! Throw me a spear!”
>She throws hers and you grab it in mid-air.
>One insect flies to your position, but you pierce its body with the spear.
>Acid starts pouring out of it, and you have plans for it.
“Eat this!”
>You throw the dying insect to a vicious manticore, which lands on its eyes.
>The manticore cries in pain as the acid starts to burn its flesh.
>The monster grabs the dead insect and throws it someplace else, luckily the dead insect lands on another manticore, but this time the insect explodes, and so does the manticore’s head.
“Oh crap!”
>Looks like you discovered a new weapon.
>”Quick! Everyone! Throw the insects at the manticores!” Laika yells.
>And so did Laika.
>The diamond dogs and ponies obey the order.
>Eventually, the manticores fight off the insects themselves.
“Well…that’s one issue taken care of.”
>”Watch out for the Hydra!”
It might be me, but it feels like your problems get resolved too easily and quickly.
It's like "Oh we have a problem. Wait, nevermind Anon solved it."
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>How are you going to fight that?
>It’s so damn big!
>You aim your gun at one of the heads, but miss the shot.
>”Try again!”
>More insects crawl out of the underground.
>Three spawn behind you.
>”Anon! Watch out!” Laika yells.
>One of them makes a superficial cut to your gut with its sharp claws.
>Another insect makes another cut to your forearm, the pain makes you lose grip of your weapon.
>They might not look like it, but they are actually heavy.
>You fall on your back.
>The insects get on top of you.
>They open their mouth and prepare to spit acid at you.
>Guess this is the end…
>You close your eyes and hope for a quick and painless death.
>Both Katya and Laika punch the insects to quickly get them off your body.
>”GET BACK IN THE FIGHT!” Laika yells as she grabs your hand with her paw, forcing you to get up.
>”Laika! Can’t you see he’s hurt?! MEDIC!”
>Another stallion arrives with potions and bandages.
>”Anon! There’s too many of them! What are we gonna do?”
>The manticores killed plenty of insects already.
>Well done, the only thing you managed to do was piss them off.
>You can’t do this.
>But if you retreat, the monsters will attack town and kill the rest of your citizens.
>Some of your stallions rescue the injured royal guards and get them on their backs to carry them to town.
>”We have to go Anon!”
“Take the guards to the shelter! This isn’t over yet!”
>”What?! Are you crazy?!”
>The Hydra is quickly moving to your position.
>The stallions are hesitant to leave, but they obey anyways.
>The diamond dogs stay by your side.
>”Any other brilliant idea super genius?” Boris says.
>You aim your gun once again and keep firing at the manticores which are closing in.
>”Shoot at them until they die? Gee, great plan…”
I now want either a story or a series of snippets of an Anon who played dwarf fortress running his town like a real life version of dwarf fortress
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>Back in town.
>You’re now Twilight Sparkle.
>You’re waiting in a shelter full of scared and nervous mares.
>”This has never happened before…” they say between each other.
>”I hope Vasily is okay…”
>Autumn Tulip sobs.
>”Calm down Tulip, your husband is okay…” Silk Ribbon comforts her.
>Princess Celestia and Princess Luna feel responsible for bringing Mythic Crown here.
>All of a sudden, some ponies open the shelter’s door violently.
>It’s the injured royal guards being brought in by Anon’s citizens.
>”Princess Celestia, we got all of them…”
>She lets out a relieved sigh.
>”Thank you, where’s Anon and the rest of the citizens?”
>”They are taking a beating! There are just so many of those monsters.”
>”Anon refused to retreat…both him and the diamond dogs are fighting more monsters, and a Hydra is approaching!”
>”They need help!”
>”But how can we help them out?!”
>You stand up.
“I’ll help them…stay here!”
>You cast a spell and teleport out of the shelter.
>You reappear on the outskirts of the town.
>You find Anon and the diamond dogs being overrun by manticores and weird looking bugs.
>”AAAAH!” Anon yells.
>Twilight Sparkle
>Element of Magic
>"You’re waiting in a shelter full of scared and nervous mares."

I don't understand.

Also, weren't the Princesses there too? The three most powerful ponies visiting is a bad time for Anon to show off his big dick.
>Elements of Harmony are all female
>Vast majority of heroes in the show are female
>Hiding in a shelter while the big strong men fight
Exactly What I was thinking.

it's not like she has faced an Ursa minor before, or anything, and army of changelings, a Tatzlwurm, Tirek and other threats before.
i think he wanted to show that he could take care of themselves withouth magic

also this >>26016473
it is a matriarch sort of world so either they re keeping them all hidden since privilege and men gotta do the dirty work or it got reversed and stallions were the ones who should be taken care of and kept safe, since mares greatly outnumber them and all that
first answer was meant to link to this post >>26016460
>>”It’s for your own safety…please come with us to the shelter,” Silk Ribbon says.

>>”Please, do as they say Twi…I don’t want you to get hurt.”

>>”Okay everybody, you know the drill! Mares! Take cover in the shelter! Silk Ribbon, guide the girls and calm them down!”

>>"calm them down!"

translation: mares are so useless that they need to be protected from ANY threat. Even giant magical immortal goddesses.

The white-knight is strong in this one.

"You have to eat all the eggs"
>>"i think he wanted to show that he could take care of themselves withouth magic"
>"Mares! Take cover in the shelter!"
That is never stated, i understand where you are coming from but the phrase no smoke without fire is wrong in this case.

Rather it would seem that since we are not in a reversed gender roles world the men are meant to deal with the giant monsters. Though you do make a good point in the case of the princesses
I wouldn't have an issue with it if they hadn't herded away the giant immortal magic goddesses with the power to move celestial bodies. Maybe he wasn't trying to make them eat all the eggs and instead he wanted to show of his tech, but he's showing some unbelievably unnecessary white knightery. "No, Princesses, hide away with the other GIRLS. Let me and my penis take care of things, don't you worry your pretty little heads."

Other than that, I love the story. It's well-paced, the tech is realistic, and the character development is pretty good.

A+ if you disregard the white knight parts.
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now is not the time for anger
that comes later
>HURR DURR black and white fallacy
There are more stallions in Nova Rohan, Anon comes from Earth and acts according to Earth's rules.

Kill yourselves
Can we just accept that the writefag ain't perfect and enjoy a great story whilst pushing him to write better?
>pushing him to write better
no, they're only trying to push an agenda. You can't tell someone they're writing badly just because it doesn't fit with your philosophy or political agendas.

I'm not even sure why everyone fucking blew up over this
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>All this tumblr in here
Cause they want to get rid of what they see as white knighting.
>they complain about white knighting
>in a life or death situation

ok, tell someone to fuck off while they're trying to save your life. See what happens.

god, these people are stupid
itt: white-knight faggots patting each other on the back

we've done it, boys. anything that isn't an autistic circle-jerk of hat-tipping is now tumblr feminazis pushing an agenda

even thou i m guilty of saying that he shoulda ve took mares instead i can agree with this argument >>26016775
>"Anon comes from Earth and acts according to Earth's rules"

and besides that, as a fellow write, i know first hand how annoying it can get when people try to push stuff into your story, so just do you LP its a pretty darn great tootin' awesome story so far
>trying to save your life
>squirrel away the immortal goddesses and the Element of Magic because reasons

I don't give two shits about feminism, first off. Modern women are fucking children most of the time, so don't start that shit with me. My problem is that it's a dumb fucking direction to send the story, sending away THE FUCKING PRINCESSES b/c the author couldnt think of a better way to resolve the issue of showing off his technology dick in the presence of literal goddesses .
that may be due to Anon refusing to use magic in any way, even if others have this ability

maybe he's trying to prove himself, and is acting dumb in the process. A matter of Pride, so to speak.

At least this ain't a feminism thing

It's in name of diplomacy. You can't ask them to unfuck your shit up, Anon is trying to fight the threat with his citizens. If something happened to the princesses a canterlot's wedding he'd deal with so much shit. The show has proven several times how useless the princesses are.
wtf happened to this thread I started from the top where the thread was about small ponies and technology and I get to the bottom and its all about 'white-knights' and faggotry...

Can we please return to the OP topic?
A fair point, the only reason they ever seem to have been a threat was because they wielded the elements of harmony.
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I'm glad to know that some people ITT didn't blow in from stupid town
Well I'm glad that argument seemed to die out
True but the writefag died during it.
Hopefully he's just leaving us on a cliffhanger of sorts until later tonight or tomorrow. I would hate to see one of my favourite stories die because of a few shitbags trying to push an agenda.
True, or he got dragged away by real life
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>>”Shoot at them until they die? Gee, great plan…”

It's not just a great plan, it's a protip!
Before I continue, I realized that I might not have been clear enough about a detail. The railgun is very important to this story, but I didn't really give any explanation of its firepower. http://www.wired.com/2014/04/electromagnetic-railgun-launcher/
Kinda like that, but a (much) smaller projectile. I'm arbitrarily pinning it at about mach 5, slower than the navy's cannon because Anon's power grid wasn't designed to discharge that fast.

Continuing from >>25993130

>You are Shining Armor.
>You are getting annoyed with this cyclical debate.

“I understand your concerns, and I agree. That doesn’t change the facts though. We need to attack.”

>”I am not going to order an attack on that thing! The cost of victory is too great!”

“You AREN’T LISTENING! I’m not suggesting we charge, I’m saying we need to pressure it somehow! Look, the longer we leave this thing, the worse it’s going to get!”

>”Surely you don’t suggest that this beast can get stronger?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying! Look, the first fight Twi and her friends nearly beat it. The second, our joint armies were humiliated! And now? Who knows! We’ve got some insight into the machines it builds, but the most massive structure is still a total mystery. And even IF that structure is benign, what’s stopping it from making more weapons?”

>”I… I suspect it has been. It has been processing an absurd amount of metals since we got here. I believe that the only reason Twilight survived was that it was undersupplied and unprepared. I worry that, having been given more time and resources, it is even more dangerous. I’m scared, Shining Armor. I. Am. Scared!”

>That was unexpected!

“YOU? I didn’t know you were capable of feeling fear.”

>”Yes, I. I’ve been wounded before, Armor. I’ve been wounded worse than that, too. The worst injury I ever sustained was at the hooves of Lu- of another alicorn, but that was after days of battle. I feared for my life for the first time after that battle, the pain and exhaustion were so great and they only grew worse over the coming days. But that was a prolonged battle between equals, whereas this was two strikes! TWO! Who’s to say that a third blow would not have been my end? Or a fourth? And what if it has a greater weapon? Or if it were to strike a more vital point? I don’t think I can muster the courage to face that monster again.”

“What about indirect attacks? If we were to bombard its position-”

>”And aggravate it? Prompt it to retaliate?”

“If it does that, we win! Remember what Twilight said? They nearly subdued it with just their hooves! And Luna says that its claws are a bloody mess, right? And it felt the need to wear armor! This thing isn’t invulnerable, princess. We just need one good shot, but it’s never going to give us that chance. Not unless it has to. That’s why I pro-”
>Princess Luna chose that moment to burst through the door.

>”I have returned!”

“We’ll discuss this later when everypony is present. Welcome back.”

>”The answer is LIGHTNING! The ape uses lightning to power its devices!”

>”Lightning? Could a pegasus operate them using a thundercloud?”

>”Unlikely. Too little and they do nothing, too much and they are destroyed. A few of the artefacts are lost to us, sadly.”

“Destroyed? Say, how big of a thunderstorm could we get out here?

>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>You’ve got a new pet project.
>You had been trying to figure out why the projectile was stuck in Luna.
>It struck you as very odd that the first two would punch clear through Celestia, while the third failed.
>You have your doubts that Luna is that much harder.
>But that research was a dead end.
>There were just too many unknown variable.
>This research looked promising!
>Sure, you had no idea what the glyph did.
>And it would be a week before your courier came back with the spellbooks you asked for.
>But the effects of the spell were of secondary importance to you.
>What you found more interesting was what the spell was inscribed on.
>There’s no way your hunch is correct.
>If this were to work, somepony else would have figured it out by now.

“I am wasting my time.”

>You draw out a simple levitation spell on some paper.
>You feed it some mana.
>Nothing happens.

“Obviously. There’s no way.”

>Ink doesn’t really conduct mana very well.
>It conducts decently, but not well.
>You’ve got some arcane dust though.
>You brought it in case you needed to make a warding circle, but it doesn’t look like that will come up any time soon.
>There doesn't seem to be any evil magic to worry about.
>You sprinkle some dust onto your paper, drawing a levitation rune.
>You add a little mana.

“Yeah. Figured as much.”

>But then...
>Paper’s not that resistant to magic.
>Few organics are.
>Sure, it’s not a great conductor, but still.
>Maybe some mana is leaking out?
>You go to the kitchen and steal a cookie sheet.
>You return to your bunk and draw the glyph on the metal sheet.
>You touch your horn to the glyph and add a little mana.

“Yup. Waste of time.”
>The ape’s boards have clear inputs and outputs.
>The conductive glyph isn’t a proper pathway.
>The mana can go in, but it has nowhere to go out.
>What if the endpoints on the glyph were connected back to your horn?
>You redraw it.
>You tap your horn in, and feed it some mana.
>The cookie sheet crashes into the ceiling.

“This is HUGE!”

>You rush back to the kitchen to get more sheets.
>You gallop back to the war room and burst in.

>”Oh, hey Twily. Luna’s made an important discovery!”

>”Indeed! It would appear as though the ape uses lightning of all things to power its devices!”

>You ignore them.
>You place a cookie sheet on the table and draw out the revised levitation spell.

“Touch that with your horn!”

>They all look at you with confusion.
>Shining Armor is the first to react.
>He lowers his head to the glyph.

“Add some mana.”

>He rolls his eyes.


>The sheet smashes itself into the ceiling again.

>”Armor, why did you do that?”

>”Princess Luna! I swear, I didn’t!”

>You let out a giggle.
>Oh sure, this is serious.
>This might be a massive revolution for Equestria.
>But first...
>You’re going to have some fun with this.

>You are Fluttershy.
>Your bruise is fading.
>You DID wind up going for a medical checkup after returning.
>And you DID have a few cracked ribs.
>But nothing was too terribly serious.
>Breathing still stings though.
>You were tempted to ask Derpy to continue tending to your animals while you recovered.
>She had done a surprisingly good job, after all!
“Oh, that was mean…”

>You shouldn’t be surprised when somepony else does well.
>Even if they had so many other things to do at the time.
>But as great as she was, you didn’t want to impose any longer.
>So you’d taken over again.
>All the animals had been so well behaved and helpful.
>So much so that you had some spare time despite how slowly you were working.
>And so you’d invited Discord over for a visit!
>It had been too long since you’d last seen him…
>But he was busy doing… whatever it is Discord does.
>You’re actually not sure.
>You should ask him!

“That will have to wait until he gets here”

>”Until who gets here?”

>Discord walks out of your kitchen wearing a frilly apron bearing a floral pattern.

>”I hope you don’t mind, but I prepared a few things. Some tea, a few biscuits, and of course my favorite, a strong feeling of unease.”

>Sure enough, he’s got a tray holding exactly that.
>But you didn’t see a tray a moment ago…

“I’ll pass on the unease thank you.”

>You have no idea how he can eat that stuff.
>It tastes so… uncomfortable!
>But to each their own.

>”Oh my, whatever happened to you?”

>The tray disappears again as he rushes to your side, examining your bruise closely.

“Oh. The girls and I were on another adventure to check out a new kind of metal bird. Princess Celestia wanted to know if it was dangerous.”
>“Oh, that was mean…”
>”Figures. Something as interesting as a metal bird shows up and she’s only interested in it because it might be dangerous. She can be such a bore. And to make matters worse, she didn’t even have the common decency to investigate herself! It clearly WAS dangerous given what happened, and now you’re hurt because of her.”

“Oh, I’m not upset. I was just supposed to look, I wasn’t supposed to start a fight.”

>Discord takes a seat and takes a bite out of the unease.
>He stares at you with a raised eyebrow as he savours the emotion.

>“Oh that’s good. Now tell me, who's idea was it to fight the bird? That doesn’t sound like you at all. I bet it was Twilight’s, she a bad influence you know.”

“Oh, we weren’t fighting the bird. We were fighting the ape that built it.”

>He drops his treat.
>It fall between the cushions of your couch.

>”Ape? An ape that builds? A clever, or perhaps CUNNING ape?”

“Oh, you’re familiar with them?”

>”They are just so interesting! They fight each other over any old thing you know, they even fight when they get bored! Never a dull moment with apes around. But you really should have just left them, you’re lucky you only got a little bruise.”

“Oh… well, it was unarmed and alone. We thought that the six of us could handle it, but that was clearly not true…”

>”Well, I might have to take a trip out to see these creatures. I haven’t seen one in so long, you know”

“You might be too late. The princesses and the royal guard went to deal with it.”

>”Well then I’ll have to hurry! I don’t want to miss this! Where are they?”

“In the badlands, about three days away. I’ll draw you a map if you want.”

>”And how long ago did they leave? I need to know how much time I need to make up.”

“Umm. about a month?

>Discord surges into the air, a look of mad fury plastered on his face.
>You can feel the hatred radiating off of him.

>”You mean to tell me that that injury is a MONTH OLD?”


>You’re not sure you actually said it.
>You tend to get quiet when you’re afraid.
>And for the first time since his promise, you ARE afraid of Discord.

>”So it’s been healing for a MONTH? Meaning it was worse? Did the ape do that to you?”

>He suddenly relaxes and sets back down on the floor.

>”Excuse me, I must be going.”

>He calmly walks out the front door, before rocketing into the sky.
>There is a small crater in your pathway now…
>Better fill it in.

That's it. I'm not particularly happy with this part, but it wasn't getting better no matter how I tweaked it, and these events are too important to simply skip. If you're worried that the printed spells are too big of a deal, their limitations will be explored later on.
I love how this story is slowly turning into Xcom magic horse edition
Damn how is Anon going to deal with a pissed off discord? I mean what do you do to guy to whom physics is but a suggestion?
We take the star trek method and science the shit outta him
Science is dangerous to discord. It makes too much sense.
So is this Anons Factorio Vanilla or something like bobsmods?
so discord turns out to be a supercomputer controlling the civilization? like Femputer!
Just checking, but wasn't Fluttershy the one who said, "hey, we need to kill this thing?"
From what I remember, Fluttershy just went terminator mode and denied all suggestions of being friendly to it too.

So frankly all of this and the impending battle in the future is all her fault.

anyone else feel like this is Factorio but with ponies
Why is Fluttershy lying?
Well, she isn't lying. Anon did hurt her, but only because he was provoked. He probably assumed that he hurt her for food or whatever. Either way, I don't think Discord would care if there was a reason or not.

Writefag from last night. Taking a new approach to the backstory.

Back to the present:
>You step up to the podium and collect your thoughts
>Here goes
“Welcome everyone to the celebration!
“Over the past five years, every single one of you has helped our town become a city. We built this city together when no one else believed we could, and we did it. And every single one of you helped. Today, we’re not just celebrating the anniversary of a city. We’re celebrating the creation of a world of equals!”
>The crowd cheers
“I want to thank each and every one of you, because together, we have created the most advanced technology in the world! You put ideas into motion! You made the impossible possible! And we’ll keep innovating and we’ll keep building, and we’ll keep going towards the future!”
>Short, but passionate
>You walk off the stage and the applause follows you

>You roll out a fresh sheet of paper
>North Point pulls up a chair and sits down next to you
>”So explain to me how we’re going to engineer this. How will the exterior walls hold the weight of the building?”
“They won’t. We place steel columns inside the building to form a skeleton and carry the weight of the structure. Then, we drive those into the ground and build footings so the weight is carried into the ground.”
>”How far down will we have to dig?”
“Into bedrock, or else there will be nothing solid to rest the building on.”
>”That makes sense, I guess. So why am I here? I don’t know anything about engineering on this scale.”
“But you know what kind of spaces ponies like.”
>”Why does that matter?”
“Where I come from, these buildings can top one hundred floors, and have walls made of glass. Would you want to live in a glass building?”
>She looked pale
“Exactly. There are small differences that I’m not used to, but you are. You’re here to keep me from designing human-sized rooms for ponies.”
>North Point took out a pencil and grinned
>”Where do we start?”

>You drive the fourth and final stake into the ground
>North Point measures the distance between them one last time
“Is this the right size?”
>”Yep! This is exactly what we need.”
>You drive a sign into the dirt
>Houses weren’t built very large, so the blocks in Lancaster were small
>Perfect size for buildings like this
>”This doesn’t seem like much land. I mean, it’s not even a full block.”
“We’re not building out, North Point, we’re building up.”
>A griffin walks by and reads the sign
>”A skyscraper? What’s that?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.”
>”Well, if it’s anything like your other inventions, it’ll be worth the wait.”
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>designing homes for pones
Never though i d be so curious pver such a piece of info, go on
Not really sure how to explain this well. Ponies are much shorter than humans, so they'd be more comfortable in smaller rooms with smaller furniture. A ten foot by ten foot room is tiny to us, but it would be comfortable for a pony. The doors would be smaller, even with griffins living there. And there's definitely a difference in the type of building a pony would want to live in vs what a human would like. The whole "modern" thing hasn't really caught on in Equestria (or Lancaster). Ponies, from what I've seen, would much rather live in something more down-to-earth, homey, and traditional.

TL;DR Ponies are used to pony buildings.

>Two months later, the plans are all but finished
>All that’s left to design are the details, and North Point takes over
>You have bigger fish to fry
>You’re in Canterlot, trying to get Equestria to recognize you as a nation
>But the princess doesn’t run that department
>She lets her advisors work out the details and then finalizes everything at the end
>They are the biggest pieces of shit you’ve ever met
>Today, they drop another stack of papers into your hands
>”We’ve reviewed your city-state’s trade proposals and think that, with these improvements, they could be beneficial to both parties involved.”
>You read it over and, just like the last few “revisions”, they’ve screwed you over again
>Hang on
“Did you say city-state?”
>The stuck-up fucker smiles
>”Yes. After reviewing your plan, we decided to reclassify your nation as a city-state, seeing as there is only one city.”
“Well, show me the differences.”
>He levitates another stack of papers into your arms
>”That should just about cover it, ape.”

>You spent the whole night poring over the walls of text Celestia’s advisors gave you
>Being recognized as a city-state would limit your power and prevent you from expanding
>You can be classified as a nation if you can prove to have other permanent, influential cities
>So all you need to do is build another city, which isn’t going to happen
>Then again, with immigration the way it is, you might need to
>You return to Lancaster and tell your problem to Minuette
>”Those assholes! I can’t believe that they’re making it so hard for you!”
“Minuette, you lived in Canterlot for a while. I’m sure you believe it.”
>”They’re a bunch of racist sacks of shit!”
“Pretty much, yep. So either we bypass them and go straight to the Princess, which I’ve tried, or build another city.”
>”Maybe your skyscraper will convince them.”
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>You fly towards Anon and his citizens as fast as Rainbow Dash to quickly cast a protection spell on them.
>The vermin jump at them, but they are quickly deflected thanks to your shield.
>”What happened?!”
>”I thought we were goners…”
>Anon turns around and finds you flying over them.
“Well well well, it looks like you’re happy to see me this time…” you say in a smug tone.
>”Yeah, thanks for that save Twi…” Anon says in a relieved tone.
>All the dogs and remaining stallions let out relieved sighs.
“Oh my…are you okay?” You ask after noticing his wounds.
>”I’ve been better!” Anon quickly responds as he reloads his weapon and fires again.
“If my magic saved you twice I’ll-“
>Anon lets out a groan.
>”Could we please talk about that later? Now’s not a good time!”
“Hmph…you’re welcome.”
>An insect climbs up to your leg.
>Boris punches it away from you.
>”Watch out Princess! These are not your average everyday monsters!” He says while punching more insects away.
“Phew~ Thanks…”
>Anon takes his time to reload his weapon once again and then he keeps firing.
“If you really needed help then you should’ve asked for it Anon!”
>”And put the princesses at risk because I couldn’t protect the town? Are you serious!?”
“Stop being so stubborn! There are multiple things you can’t do by yourself!”
>”This time I’m not alone! Dammit Twilight! Why can’t you support me for once?!”
>Many monsters keep punching the shield you casted.
“GNH…I can’t keep the shield up for much longer! We have to go Anon!”
>”No! I must kill the monsters! I can’t let everyone down!”
>A manticore punches the shield with all its strength, making your head hurt so much.
>”Princess!” Katya yells before getting you up on your hooves, “are you okay?”
>You nod.
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>You notice rage building up in Anon.
>”AAAH! Fuck off already! We’re full!”
>Anon gives the manticore a melee attack with the butt of his weapon.
>The manticore falls on its back, and Anon makes sure to kill it off by clubbing its head with the butt of his gun.
>You try to cast another spell, one that sends off the manticores and bugs flying a large distance away from Anon and his friends.
>Your magic was powerful enough to even hit the Hydra that was approaching.
>But all it did was anger it more.
”We have to go Anon! It’s not worth it!”
>”NO! I’ve done something right for once in my life! I’m not letting some monsters to destroy everything I’ve worked for and harm the friends I’ve made that actually like me and care for me!”
“I care for you Anon! And I don’t want you to die over something stupid! I’ll let you in my castle once again and we can work on technology together, but please stop…just stop!”
>”No you don’t! You just don’t get it do you?! I can’t let these hellspawns and that horned fuck of Mythic Crown to take away from me the best thing that has happened in my whole life!”
>”Anon…” Laika says.
>His determined look…his fiery eyes.
>He really cares for his citizens.
>Maybe life in Earth wasn’t as good as he said it was.
>The Hydra closes in.
>”I won’t give up…” Anon says in a defeated tone before falling on his knees.
>The manticores get up and run once again at you.
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>In that moment…
>It’s Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!
>And the rest of the town and some of Celestia’s guards are here as well!
>You can feel an impressive amount of magic coming from them.
>They both cast a very powerful spell.
>A loud boom makes the earth tremble and sends the monsters flying miles away from there, including the Hydra.
>”What the-“
>The ponies and diamond dogs cheer.
>Anon turns around and finds Moondancer running towards him.
>She jumps at him and starts pounding his chest.
>”You dummy! Why didn’t you retreat!?” She says while crying on his chest, “I thought I was going to lose you!”
>Anon hugs Moondancer with all his remaining strength.
>Moondancer keeps crying on his chest, and he wipes her tears away with his bloody fingers.
>”I’m sorry Moony.”
>Moondancer takes off her glasses to wipe the tears away as well, before giving Anon a kiss on his lips.
>Laika rolls her eyes, while everyone present just goes ‘aww…’
>Princess Luna and Celestia teleport behind Anon and Moondancer.
>Anon turns his head over his shoulder and finds Princess Celestia and Luna standing in front of him.
>He’s so getting it now.
>They both look pretty angry.
>”Uhh…princesses, I can explain.”
>”Anonymous…today you put many lives at risk in a selfish action, whilst murdering Equestrian wildlife. What do you have to say in your defense?”
>Anon lets out a sigh.
>“I bit more than I could chew…I’m sorry everyone.”
>Some guards walk towards Anon and prepare the hoofcuffs.
>Anon places his wrists in front of the princesses.
>”I guess you have to do what you have to do…”
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>Princess Celestia giggles.
>”Congratulate you maybe?”
>”What?” Both Anon and his friends say at the same time.
>”I-I don’t understand Princesses…”
>The princesses both smile at each other before bursting out in laughter.
>”We haven’t seen such a strong willed and selfless creature like yourself in a long time…you actually care a lot for your friends that you would put your life at risk for them.” Celestia says, “you absolute madman…”
>”Indeed…and even if you were outnumbered you kept fighting. Even when everything was lost you just wanted to keep everypony safe. I must admit, I’m impressed.”
>”We both are, congratulations Anonymous…you’ve shown up once again you’re fit to be a leader, so we have a little surprise for you.”
>Princess Celestia casts a spell which summons a parchment out of the thin air.
>”We, Princess Celestia of Equestria-“
>”And Princess Luna of Equestria-“ Luna says while winking.
>”-declare that the terrain known as the Valley of Abundance belongs to the human being Anonymous and the citizens of Nova Rohan and shall be indexed in Equestria’s list of officially recognized territories, granting the country the ability to trade with other countries and be annexed to the maps of each nation. While at the same time, respecting its own form of government, policies and laws.”
>Celestia summons a quill and signs the bill.
>Luna does as well.
>”It’s your turn my faithful student, do you recognize Anon’s little town as a country of its own?”
>You look at Anon’s hurt body.
>You take another look at Anon’s weapon covered in blood.

>Then you look at the ponies present.
>They all nod.
>Then you look at the diamond dogs.
>”If she says no does that mean that we’ll have to return to the underground sis?” Ryzhik asks.
>”Maybe lil’ bro, maybe…” Katya says while giving his little brother a hug.
>The puppy gives you the sweetest look you’ve ever seen.
“I do…”
>”Yes!” Both ponies and diamond dogs cheer.
>Boris gives Laika a kiss on the lips.
>”Why you little,” she says before grabbing him from his tiny jacket and preparing to punch him.
>”Hey hey, easy there Laika! It was just a joke!”
>Everyone cheers at this historical day.
>“There’s something I just don’t understand…” Anon says.
>”What is it Anon?”
>“It’s just…all the noise we made, that loud spell and everything. I’m glad it didn’t escalate into something even wo-“
>Before Anon could even finish that sentence, the ground opens under his feet and some tentacles drag him into the underground.
>A Tatzlwurm just ate Anoymous.
>You honestly aren't sure what you expected to happen when you told Twilight about your world.
>You've been her friend for almost an entire year, and you know that despite how genuinely good of an individual she is, she can be incredibly stuck in her ways.
>You swear she has some mule blood in her for how stubborn she is.
>You'd heard stories before on how she reacted when she encountered something that didn't fit in with her world view.
>Smug, arrogant dismissal and demands of an apology for lying.
>You thought for a moment that she was going to exile you from Ponyville when, after she called you a dirty liar, you straight-up called her a self-assured, closed-minded arrogant bitch.
>But she took a deep breath, did her best to calm down, and asked you in a very terse voice to demonstrate your human technology.
>Failing to have any actual physical evidence with you, you explained in as much detail as you could how some of your devices worked.
>You started out with technology that was similar to (and built up upon) existing Equestrian technology, then slowly expanded towards more modern electronics.
>She even sheepishly admitted that a light bulb sounded like it could work, despite having flatly denied such a device's existence just two hours ago.
>It took you another two years, but with Twilight's help you've upgraded nearly all of Ponyville.
>All those who doubted you gazed in awe as their buildings lit up the night with a warm, yellow glow.
>You don't know what you would have done if Twilight hadn't cooperated with you.
>Probably run off and try to build a city in the badlands.
>You've always had a terrible temper like that.

>Soon, it’s groundbreaking day
>It’s been a busy few weeks
>You had to refine iron in much larger quantities than the city was used to
>Luckily, things went well
>You stand up and prepare to speak to the crowd of citizens
“Today marks a step forward for Lancaster. I’m sure by now you have already heard about the way we were swindled out of recognition, and I’d like to offer my thanks to those who expressed their interest in starting another town close by. But that won’t be necessary, because hopefully, this will prove it to them.”
>You gesture to the plot of land, and lift the sheet off of a sign
>North Point’s final drawing of the building is shown to the public
“This is where we are building a skyscraper. Ten stories tall, with four apartments per floor. We are using structural steel to make large, open rooms, and I’m personally seeing to the creation of an elevator which will be able to, with the power of electricity, take a pony from the bottom of the building to the top quickly and easily.”
>Ponies stomp their hooves and cheer, and you finish the formalities
>As the crowd disperses, diamond dogs start to dig out the large foundation

That's all for tonight I'm afraid. It only gets better from here.
I-is the story over? Was that it?
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Anon jinxed himself, hard
Just ten? Hardly a skyscraper; but a good enough starting point, I suppose.
Welp.... at least he died doing what he loved. He will never get to see the fruits of his labor.
>he died doing what he loved.
Being slowly and painfully digested.
Twilight has always been an open minded pony, ready to learn new things everyday and has many times before admitted to being wrong.

The prompt that started the general had a bit out-of-character Twilight, but Im happy it was posted.
>needing another country to recognize you as your own country
>not fucking saying this is your country, and if you gotta problem with that fuck you
Now I want to play Warband, fuck RtR and start my own empire, and just fucking fight everyone who has a problem with me.
I doubt it's just going to end there. My guess is either Twilight rescues him or Anon cuts and shoots his way out.
is this the part where Anon becomes Marcus Fenix and fights his way through a giant worm?
>Being slowly and painfully digested.
In modern day context you're right, ten stories is practically nothing. With pre-19th century tech though ten stories is massive. It's all about perspective.
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Oh shit indeed.
This reminds me of all the trouble.
Good going And GJ LP, GJ.
gg no re
This is what I want. Someone make a green with this Anon
but what about trading and alliances and all that stuff? if anon really went this route he d be done before he even started since he d be enemy of all other nations by default
That's got me thinking about what if Anon founds a city based around trade and export and uses various technologies to get an edge. An example being buying cheap Iron and using the Bessemer process mass produce much more expensive steel. Another idea might see Anon creating standardized parts and assembly lines to simply out produce the other nations.
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Wormhole buket spy pg. 9 save!
You are a man of good choice.
May you join the great shpee up above.
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Not really surprising that XCOM is leaking in. I loved the original and I love the remake. Anyone who hasn't played with the long war mod should.

Correct. What she'd read didn't pain apes in a good light, and she wanted to stop another slaughter from happening. While she loves animals and nature, she is not totally ignorant to how brutal the wild can be. Think of it as being comparable to a game warden shooting a rabid wolf that's walking around the city.
Did I imply that Fluttershy didn't start it? Discord assumed that it was Twilight's idea, but the conversation was derailed before Fluttershy said otherwise.

She's not.

Correct. Anon hurt Fluttershy, and Discord neither knows nor cares why. Fluttershy would have said she'd started it had she been given the chance, but the conversation ended pretty abruptly. Even then his reaction would be much the same.

Continuing from >>26018808 with all 50 remaining characters.

>You are Anon.
>You are much happier with your lot in life now.
>Yeah, you’re still stuck on an alien planet and all that junk.
>But you’ve done your part to fix that.
>Now it’s robot work!
>After building the first one and programming it to build more, you took a quick nap.
>Now you’ve got thirty construction bots walking around.
>You’d wanted to go with a flying model, but your batteries are still too heavy for that to be practical.
>You should really work on that…
>Really, how hard could it be to make an antimatter battery?

“Inform me, super brain!”

>Yeah, that’s going to take some work.
>No flying robots yet.
>You’d considered a wheeled model, but the terrain here is kinda uneven. You don’t want to have to run around and help them get unstuck all the time.
>So you settled for a bipedal model
>Now you’ve got to decide what to make them do.
>You were going to have them build trains out to some resource rich areas.
>But you’ve apparently depleted your mines.
>All of them at once…
>Now that you think of it, that’s really weird.
>Probably best to get them going again before you undertake any big projects.
>You have a decent stockpile of metals, but you’d rather not run out.
>Besides, you’ve got more immediate problems.
>Like that giant storm brewing.
>Looks like it’s coming your way too.
>You’ve got a lot of electronics that couldn’t take the hit...
>Easy solution to this.
>You’re limited on metals, but you’ve got a decent stockpile.
>Time to see if your robots can build lightning rods.
>It doesn’t take long before you conclude they can.
>Looks like you’re mostly limited by materials and energy now.
>All that time being limited by something so mundane as labor was insulting.
>With a contented groan, you stand and stretch.
>You don’t need to labour, but you still need to work.
>Time to fire up the car and check out your mines.
>Hopefully it’s a simple fix.

“The hell is that?”

>Super eyes engage!
>Giant flying snake with claws?
>That’s trippy even for this place.
>Did… did it just lock eyes with you?
>Did its eyes just MELT?
>A blood curdling shriek fills the air as the thing charges toward you.
>You rush toward your turret and order in a new target.
>It rotates and fires a slug, leaving a ringing in your ears.
>The snake is knocked of course as the shot cuts through its body.
>Its rear half hangs limp.
>The front half SPEEDS UP!
>Its maw hangs open far too wide as black ichor seeps from its mouth.
>Another slug strikes, slamming into the thing’s side.
>It lets out a loud, maniacal laugh as its limp appendages fall off, and new tissue surges forth.
>You bring your sidearm to bear and empty your magazine into the thing.
>Three shots go wide, four hit its head, the rest enter its body.
>It falls limp, dead.

“Holy hell. What is this thing?”

>You walk over to the corpse to get a better look.
>The ground is melting where the ichor lands…
>Whatever that thing was, you’re glad you were able to stop it.
>This world is even more dangerous than you though…
>Maybe it’s time for more gun?
>You reload as you turn around, deciding that you need way more firepower.


>No way.
>No fucking way.
>You turn around as the creature climbs to its… feet?
>The bullet wounds in its skull start falling to the ground.
>The beast springs toward you, far slower than it was before.
>Its long body wraps around you, as though it were trying to constrict you.
>You’re not worried. There’s no way it can crush you through your armor.
>You were wrong!
>You empty your weapon into its head again as the pressure around your torso builds.
>The pressure slackens...
>The thing sinks its fangs into your arm!
>You let out a scream of agony as the ichor works its way through your steel and starts to dissolve your arm.
>With your good arm, you grip the monster by the neck and SQUEEZE.
>You feel a satisfying crunch as its neck breaks.
>It stops squeezing.
>The beast bursts into a cloud of smoke, disappearing from sight.
>No time to gloat, your arm is MELTING.
>You run to the car and grab your first aid spray..
>You shoot the cleansing agent into your slowly expanding wound.
>The spray bursts into flame!
>The wound is SPREADING.
>You need to hurry before it hits your torso!
>Desperately wishing for some painkillers, you head over to your ship.
>You grab one of your remaining canisters of first aid spray, and grab your plasma cutter.
>You fire it up, and with a shriek of agony, you lob your arm off.
>You drop the plasma torch in your state of shock, and it starts to melt its way through the bottom of your ship.
>You quickly mist your stump with cleansing agent before emptying the entire canister of sealing agent.
>You’re so cold…
>So tired…
>Maybe just a quick nap?
>You are Twilight.
>You are testing out your brand new scrying table.
>It turned out to be a bit harder to make than the cookie sheets.
>But you figured it out.
>The biggest problem was that you had to cover the glyph with iron on both sides.
>Turns out air is too good of a mana conductor for more complicated spells.
>But now, everypony can watch the enemy!
>With just a little bit of magic provided by yourself, everypony can watch.
>That’s what you’re doing right now.

>”So this is what scrying’s like. Feels weird.”

“I didn’t know you couldn’t scry, Shiney.”

>”Yeah. Never quite had the focus, the spell always fell apart when I was trying to define the location. But that’s not important right now, why are there so many apes?”

>”Those are not apes. Those are slaves that it built earlier today.”

“Oh come on Luna. Is slave really the right word? If it’s just a machine I’m not so sure that it counts.”

>”Perhaps not.”

>”Lu, I thought you said it only built one.”

>”Indeed, Tia. The one it built made more. If we don’t control this somehow, the ape will have an inexhaustible workforce.”

>”Hopefully the lightning storm will take care of that.”

“But they’re building lightning rods. Sorry Shiney, it was a good idea.”

>”Bah. Might as well send them in and hope.

“No, hold on. I’ve got another idea. It’ll take some work, but the lightning could still be useful.”
>”Very well. Should We continue producing?”

“Not yet, Princess. Not until we know it’ll work. Luna, are the pegasi in your guard busy with anything at the moment? I might need their help.”

>”I shall instruct my elite to assist you. The Shadowbolts are at your disposal.”

“Wait, Shadowbolts? Seriously?”

>“What? ‘Tis a fine name!”

“Yeah, it’s just a bit…”

>”A bit what? Do you object to my Wonderbolts too?”

“No, it’s just… you know what? Never mind. What matters is that DISCORD IS HERE!”

>Everypony else snaps their attention back to the vision as the first shot strikes.


>”I thought you hated him.”

“Shiney, I-”

>”He’s fine.”

>Both princesses reassured you in unison.

>The second shot hits Discord.
>A crazed laugh roars through the camp.

>Celestia continued.

>”Look at his face. He’s trying to intimidate the ape. I’ve never seen Discord take a fight seriously before, I think our war may be over.”

>The ape pulls out a small weapon.
>Several blasts strike Discord.
>He fall to the ground.

>”Still fine.”

“Wait, never taken a fight seriously? What do you mean? Didn’t he own the entirety of Equestria for a while? Didn’t you need the elements to beat him? Didn’t WE need the elements to beat him?”

>”Discord never sought to win, Twilight. He’s always just wanted to have fun. I’m sorry, but he was toying with you. He always was. This… Something has him angry.

“He was… he was playing? Was it such a good idea to let him loose?

>”Do not question my sister on this decision. Discord was going to break free, there is no doubt about that. Some day, Discord would start another rampage, some day he would be sealed again. ‘Tia felt that you and your friends could break the cycle. It didn’t go according to plan, but the outcome was most satisfactory.”


>”That is super creepy.”
“You think that’s creepy? Have you- Oh. You’ve never met him, have you Shiney?”

>”Thankfully not.”

“Yeah. He’s completely insufferable. But Fluttershy seems to like him well enough. Say, is he constricting-”

>Another round of shots.
>Discord bites the ape’s arm.

“So… what’s that goop?”

>”No idea. Lu?”

>”I’ve never seen it before either, but I suspect it has something to do with the dissolving arm.”

>Dissolving arm?
>She’s right!
>Discord’s neck is snapped, and his body falls limp.
>His body turns into smoke.

“Is he… still fine?

>”He’ll recover. He’s simply tired.”

>You’re not so sure…
>But Princess Celestia should know.
>And you DID see Discord un-die already today…
>The ape sprays fire on the wound for some reason.
>It runs off into the bird.
>No matter, this table has a sub-glyph to follow it.
>It picks up a wand of some sort and cuts off its own arm!
>Blood starts flowing everywhere…
>The scrying spell collapses as you rush out of the room.

>”Yeah… Twily doesn’t like blood.”

That's it for now. Hey look, something finally happened! And Anon actually ran into some difficulty, imagine that!
So the answer to the question is to keep firing until Discord is too tired to fight back, or in other words to use more gun. Now I'm picturing the Anon in this story as the engineer from tf2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNgNBsCI4EA
Do I smell automail coming on?
Holy shit! I REALLY hope anon has something to fix that arm of his. Perhaps a bionic arm? Or does he just have some sort of medical material to grow it back? After all, we have been able to grow back finger tips through the use of STEM cells. Imagine what advances would have been made in this story's timeline!
>lost an arm
Is this the part wear he finally gets those leather gloves he's been needing?
Is this the end? is Anon ded?
>We’re celebrating the creation of a world of equals!”
This seems to be a common theme of the technology thread...I wonder what Starlight would think of it.
>“But you know what kind of spaces ponies like.”
>“Exactly. There are small differences that I’m not used to, but you are. You’re here to keep me from designing human-sized rooms for ponies.”
Neato burrito
>Is this the part wear he finally gets those leather gloves he's been needing?
Hmmmm, now I'm curious too.
>You drop the plasma torch in your state of shock, and it starts to melt its way through the bottom of your ship.
Sounds like a pretty shittily designed torch.

If Anon doesn't replace most of his entire body with a new, cyber-bio ultimate super body and that's not even his final form to prevent this sort of event from happening again, I'll be greatly disappointed.
>If Anon doesn't replace most of his entire body with a new, cyber-bio ultimate super body
Is it RULES OF NATURE time yet?
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With only the missing arm it's going to be THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR REAL time first
Well he said replace most of his entire body, so that's what I was going with, but if he only replaces the arm, yours is more accurate.
We Spencer now.
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>Moondancer lets out a scream that is painful to listen to.
>The ponies don’t know what to do, they are in a state of complete shock after seeing their leader getting gobbled up like nothing.
>You see Anon’s hands hitting the tatlzwurm from the inside.
“He’s still alive! Quick! We gotta get him out!”
>Some ponies quickly react and grab everything they can to harm the tatlzwurm.
>The Tatzlwurm opens its mouth once again and tries to eat more ponies.
>You cast another spell and shoot a magic beam at its tentacles.
>It doesn’t do much damage.
>Celestia and Luna fly to the tatzlwurm’s head, but they are instantly attacked by its tentacles.
>”GAH!” Celestia yelps, as a bunch of tentacles grab her hind legs.
>”Unf…” some ponies say at the same time.
>Luna helps her sister out by shooting a magic beam at the tatzlwurm’s eyes, which makes the worm release your mentor.
>”That’s it!” Laika says, “I just remembered! The tatlzwurm’s weak point are its eyes!”
>Celestia casts a light spell directly to the tatzlwurm’s eyes.
>The creature goes blind and uses its tail to try crushing some ponies.
“But how are we gonna get Anon out of the tatlzwurm?”
>Laika looks at some of the dead insects pouring acid from its lifeless bodies.
>”By making a hole on its body obviously!”
>The tatzlwurm looks more and more angry.
>It emits a loud roar and dashes at the ponies on the ground.
>When the effect of the light spell wears off the tatlzwurm jumps at more ponies.
>This time Silk Ribbon and Aegis get eaten as well.
>This tatzlwurm is not like the one you and Cadance fought against.
>“See Princess? I told you these monsters were merciless!” Boris says.
>”If we cut its eyes off would it die?” Socket Weld asks.
>"It would be extremely painful!" Bass Strings replies.
>"That's a big worm!"
>"Enough!" Laika yells," We have to come up with a plan!"

>She lets out a sigh.
>“We might be able to scare it off, but we need to get Anon and the others back first!”
>Laika grabs a dead insect with the spear.
>”We’ll serve as a distraction, do what you need to do!” Vasily and Thunder Soul say.
”Hang in there Anon!”
>You see that the tatzlwurm is pouring some blood.
>”That’s it! Anon shot the worm from the inside! We need to pour the acid there!”
>”Princess? Can’t you get Anon and our friends out by teleporting them?”
>You do as suggested.
>But fail.
“W-what happened?!”
>Celestia and Luna try the same, and fail as well.
>”Forget it! We’re going with plan A!” Laika says, “gather as many insects as possible and we’ll throw them to the tatlzwurm.”
>Another wound made by Anon can be seen on the tatzlwurm’s scales.
>Laika throws a spear with a dead insect to pierce the tatzlwurm.
>The insect’s blood starts harming the tatzlwurm.
>The worm lets out a roar, but this one is a painful one, so it makes its retreat back to the underground.
“Oh no you don’t!”
>You cast a fire spell and burn the pit the tatzlwurm was trying to hide into.
>Laika and the others keep throwing dead insects to the hole forming by the acid.
>You see a hand trying to make its way out of the tatlzwurm.
>”It’s working!”

>You cast another spell.
>This one will require a lot of magic, but it won’t be able to stop the Tatzlwurm for long.
>You cast an ice spell to prevent the tatzlwurm from moving, making an exception for the wounded area of course.
>Laika and Boris grab their spears and stab the tatlzwurm open.
“Hurry! I can’t hold it any longer!”
>Eventually Laika rescues Anon, covered in a blue slime…
>Boris gets the other ponies out as well.
>They fainted, but Anon is still conscious.
>The tatzlwurm breaks free from the ice spell, and it immediately dashes towards you.
>You get caught by the tatzlwurm’s tentacles.
>”PRINCESS TWILIGHT!” The ponies yell.
>Celestia and Luna cast another spell.
>”Get your tentacles off my faithful student you vermin!” Celestia yells before casting a powerful fire magic on it.
>It’s so intense, the tatlzwurm starts to melt.
>Celestia and Luna make the fire beam even bigger and hotter.
>The tatlzwurm’s flesh and internal organs burn, and it dies in a matter of seconds.
>Celestia and Luna fall to the ground, feeling exhausted by the immense amount of magic they had to cast.
>Anon coughs up some more of that blue slime.
>”Oh goodness…this is wrong, I’m spitting blood that isn’t mine…”
>The ponies and diamond dogs cheer.
>Moondancer jumps at Anon once again.
>”Eww…you’re all sticky.”
>Everyone present laughs.
Awww yeah Anon's safe
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>Many hours later, that very same night.
>”Well, according to my father’s diary…the remaining monsters will leave the Valley of Abundance within the next hour and now they’ll immigrate to other lands.” Laika’s dad says, “we’ll have to make sure to be well prepared in four years.”
>”Thank goodness…” Anon says, “we can finally catch a break to work on some stuff.”
“Now now Anon, stay still;” you say as you prepare a magic spell.
>”You don’t have to do this Twi…”
“Don’t be so stubborn Anon, I gotta cure your wounds before they get infected.”
>You heal his battered body with your magic.
“There! Much better!”
>”Thanks Twi…”
>”So Anonymous. We’ve already recognized your little town and the huge territory as a country of its own, but are you sure you want to keep going with this?” Luna asks.
>Anon looks at every pony and diamond dog living here.
>”Well, ponies like it here, and so do the diamond dogs. Yeah…I’ll keep going.”
>”Very well then,” Celestia gives Anonymous the parchment, “sign here and from this very moment your country will live on.”
>Anon smiles, but before he signs the parchment, he looks at you.
>You giggle.
“Come on Anon, sign it…I know you’ll make a great leader!”
>Anon gets on his knees and gives you a hug.
>You hug him back.
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Check' em

>Then, he stands up and signs the official bill with the seal of Equestria.
>The diamond dogs and ponies rejoice at this moment.
>One of the ponies takes a picture.
>”Very well…we must leave for now, but don’t worry. We’ll be sure to aid you all if you need help.”
>”Thanks a lot your Highnesses.”
>They giggle.
>”Goodbye everypo- I mean…everyone!”
>Everyone waves.
>”Twilight? Aren’t you coming with us?”
“I’d love to Princess Celestia but…”
>You turn around and see Anon’s charming little town.
“Anon said he’d teach me how his fridge model works without magic…” you say while winking at Anon.
>”Very well then. I’ll notify Spike that you decided to stay a little longer okay?” She says with a charming smile.
“Thanks Princess Celestia.”
>Princess Celestia and her guards leave first.
>”Bye Princesses.”
>”Take care now.”
>Princess Luna grabs a small present that was sitting on her chariot.
>”What is this?”
>She opens it and finds the toaster she was obsessed with.
>”HAHA! Thank you Anonymous!”
>He gives her a respectful nod before she leaves with her night guards.
>You let out a sigh.
>”Alright…we have lots of work to do tomorrow,” Anon says.
>Anon chuckles.
>”Nah, just kidding, we’ll take the day off tomorrow…let’s make it a holiday okay?”
>Everyone cheers.
>”How should we call it?”
>”We’ll come up with a name tomorrow…for now I just want to sleep in my bed. You should all do the same. It was one helluva day.”
>You giggle.
“Oh Anon…”
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>“Come on Anon, sign it…I know you’ll make a great leader!”

Wow, I didn't know how much I wanted her to accept Anon. I have legitimate feels.
I was wanting a bit of catmanesque "ha ha ha i was right and you were wrong" complete with anon licking her tears
Well the next day should be taken off, but the holiday really should be the day they fought for independence. Hmmm, thatsounds familiar.
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>The next morning…
>You open your eyes and let out a yawn.
>Moondancer’s bed sure is comfortable!
>You take a look outside the window and hear the beautiful singing only birds can do.
>You jump out of the bed and quickly make it with your magic.
>How nice of Anon and Moondancer to let you stay with them for the night.
>You walk to the small bathroom in Moondancer’s room to take a shower.
>You open the hot water tap and wait for a bit.
>And it doesn’t work with magic.
>You gotta give Anon credit for that, even if he’s a bit stubborn from time to time.
>It looks like he was able to fulfill his promise.
>The tech he works on is quite amazing, and it doesn’t need magic at all.
>When you finish taking that relaxing shower, you step out of the bathtub and rinse your body.
“No way…”
>Anon built a hair dryer for Moondancer?
>Oh no, he just reverse-engineered it, because you can’t see the little magic barrel attached to the dryer.
>You turn it on and dry your mane with it.
>Well, that’s convenient.
>When you’re done you walk out of Moondancer’s room.
>”Twilight! Breakfast!” Moondancer calls from the kitchen.
>You quickly walk downstairs and find Anonymous reading the book you got him for his birthday during the time he was living with you; he’s also enjoying a nice cup of tea and eating some pancakes.
“Good morning~!”
>”Hey Twi! Slept well?” Anon asks.
“Yeah, I did…I slept better than ever.”
>”Maybe because you were away from your castle and your obligations,” Moondancer says.
>You giggle.
“Yeah. Maybe it was because of that. You two better get used to it, there’s sooo many problems you have to deal with as a princess.”
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>”Princess Anon?” Moondancer says with a laugh.
>”Nah, Princess Moondancer sounds better,” he replies, “yo Twi, where can Moony get some wings like yours?”
>The three of you laugh.
“I still can’t believe what happened yesterday, and you’re all acting like nothing happened.”
>”Well…nothing happened, we are all alive and well, now eat your breakfast Twi, if you don’t you’ll get all grumpy just like Moony.”
”Hey!” Both you and Moondancer say at the same time before breaking into laughter.
>”Here you go Twi, enjoy~”
“Thanks a lot Moondancer.”
>“It’s a beautiful day today isn’t it Anon?”
>“Yes…it seems that nothing can go wrong.”
>Anon looks at the floor and jumps out of his seat.
>”Phew, the tatzlwurms are gone, just like Pops said.”
>You let out a relived sigh as well.
“Say Anon, how did you manage to make peace between diamond dogs and ponies?”
>”It wasn’t so hard Twi, have you ever heard the saying: the enemy of my enemy is my friend? Laika told you how rough conditions were in the underground, and how those freaking things killed many of their packs.”
>You smile.
“I see…you did well Anon. And I’m glad those diamond dogs aren’t like the ones near Ponyville. Did I ever tell you about the time Rarity got abducted by those diamond dogs?”
>”I don’t think you have…tell us more.”
>“Yes…it seems that nothing can go wrong.”
And then everything went wrong.
Its like the old bait and switch, call out trouble when your prepared.
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Finally caught up again, sweet work mate.
It really feels like a happy ending right here, but then there's the saddle arabians who were introduced and haven't done anything storywise, and I'm pretty sure Mythic Crown hasn't been caught yet as well. This leaves me to conclude that the next part of the story involves Mythic Crown going to Saddle Arabia to work with whoever is in charge there to take down Anon.
>Mythic Crown knows he's ass is done for, there's no going back
>his only desire now is to destroy Anon
>and not in any bullshit 'destroy his life/credibility' way
>no, just good old fashion 'make him dead' way
>he could go with some roundabout cockamamie plan involving some other nation, or something like all the monsters in the area he set loose onto the town
>nah fuck that
>he's a unicorn
>wait's till night when everyone is asleep
>and just turns Anon's head into jelly
>fucking magic, bitch
>where's your tech now?
I would imagine Mythic Crown would rather eradicate everything related to Anon and his legacy to stamp out the belief that non unicorn races could equal unicorns. To do that he may need more than just himself.
>kill or be killed

Friendliness Pellets!
bump for LP to return
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I want to see the saddle Arabians go to war with anon
How would that happen?
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Remove Horse Kebabs.
I UnderSans what you just did there...
Well, Mythic Crown is basically Undesirable #1 at this point in Equestria. He can't go back after going against the crown, so his only options are go into hiding forever or what >>26036901

Although, I'm not sure how the Saddle Arabian part would pan out. If females are mistreated as badly as they said, I doubt that they would lead a mission to go retrieve them. I can understand Celestia and Luna not doing anything in Saddle Arabia do to treaties, but if they attack and Equestrian annexed country, then they would have to face the Equestrian army as well. They may work around it if they claim the runaways as wanted criminals and demand that they be returned.
Not an oversight. Anon was supposed to be misreading the situation because he was in shock.

>You are Shining Armor.
>You are champing at the bit.
>The enemy is critically wounded, your every instinct says that now is the time.
>But it’s STILL not safe.
>The weapon was apparently still functional after all.
>You had been entertaining of tricking it into friendly fire…
>But it didn’t attack Discord when he was constricting.
>You doubt it would work.

“New objective everypony. We aren’t here to rout the enemy, we’re just here to keep them vulnerable for when Discord comes back. He will be back, right?”

>The alicorns in the room nod immediately.
>Looks like there’s really no room to doubt it.

“Great. The ape is heavily wounded, and unconscious. Its workers seem to be idle, likely they don’t know what they’re supposed to be doing.”

>”All but one. One is still making more workers.”

“Good point, Twilight. It’s still getting better established despite being incapacitated. We need to sabotage something. Cutting off the supply of materials was a great start, but we need to sabotage it further. You said you had an idea?

>”On it!”

>She teleports away, presumably to find the shadowbolts.

>”I’d best assist her. I doubt she’d be able to find them on her own.”

>Luna teleports too.

“Couldn’t find them? Aren’t they officers? Shouldn’t they be obvious?”

>Celestia seems a bit torn, as though unsure if she should speak.

>”It’s not my place to discuss the inner workings of her forces. If you want details, you’ll have to ask her. However, I can say that her soldiers work on a slightly different philosophy than yours or mine.”

>You’re very interested.
>You’ll have to ask.

“Considering the success of our last raids, I’m going to organise another attack on the remaining devices. Apparently, they both look to be pumps.”

>”And I shall… Err, plan my next move?”
>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>You’ve been trying to find the shadowbolts for nearly an hour.
>Every time you ask somepony where you can find them, they just laugh at you.
>It’s really annoying!

>”Hello, Twilight.”

>Who said that?
>You look around, there are plenty of ponies. None seem to be particularly interested in you.
>Except the darkish grey pegasus that was standing right behind you!


>”You didn’t find me, I found you. And only because I was told to. The shadowbolts are at your service.

>She has hooves down the most boringest voice in this entire nation of Equestria.
>Her cutie mark is just a rain cloud, nothing particularly interesting for a pegasus.
>From what you can tell, there is nothing special about her.
>It’s hard to imagine somepony like her attracting enough attention to get promoted.

“Are you sure you’re one of Princess Luna’s elite?”

>”Do you want our help or not?”

“Is this how you’re supposed to address your superiors?”

>”Are you even part of your command structure?”

>This is so surreal.
>You’ve never seen a soldier talk back like this.

“Very well. How many Shadowbolts are there?”


“What is your name?”


“Are you the captain?”


>You rub between your eyes with your hoof.
>This is going to be frustrating.

>”The fewer questions you ask, the better. Believe it or not I’m here to help, you’re just not making it easy.”

>Believe it or not?
>You don’t.

“So you’re secretive, then. If I want information, it can’t be specifically about the Shadowbolts?”

>No reply.

“How many Pegasi do we have access to? Not specifically Shadowbolts.”

>”Just under a thousand.”

>A direct answer!
>Looks like you’re on the right track.
>Wait, that few?

“Why so few? Is Luna’s guard that small?”

>”Relatively recently formed, highly selective.”
>So it could have been larger.
>Luna’s screening most of them out.
>She’s looking for particular traits.

“How many are trained in weather manipulation.”


>Classified, then.

“I need you to process the clouds into enclosed balls. The idea is to use magic to push them to the top of them hill, let them roll down, and then remotely detonate them. If they’re low enough to the ground, the lightning rods shouldn’t work. Do you think you can do that?”

>”Consider it done.”

>She just stands there.
>Not moving at all.

“Well? Aren’t you going to relay the message to anypony?”

>”Not while you’re watching. Leave.”

>With a groan of frustration, you start to walk away.

>You are Anon.
>You feel really sick.
>You’re not sure how long you were asleep…
>But you were woken up by pain as the numbing agent started to wear off.
>Instinct demands that you go back to sleep.
>You’re really damn tired.
>But your first priority is more gun.
>Your robots are building more static turrets for you…
>But your power grid is already strained.
>Your generation is adequate if you’re not constantly firing…
>But your discharge rate is lacking.
>Looks like your ship was designed for consistent drain, all this on and off stuff wasn’t planned.
>It takes a few minutes for it to get warmed up as it stands.
>So any sudden draw really screws with your power supply.
>You appear to be suffering from a significant voltage drop after just the second shot.
>It’s unlikely you could properly fire more than a few rounds.
>So you’ve ordered a massive battery bank be constructed.
>Thoroughly grounded and totally enclosed, of course.
>That lightning storm seems to have stopped approaching, but that’s no reason to risk a power surge.
>Sure, this won’t exactly solve the problem, but it should smooth it out at least.
>All this is going to overburden your printer…

“Right then, print some printers.”
>Easy, right?
>Turns out that, yes. It is pretty easy.
>20 should do for now.
>You’ve got a healthy supply of materials for the moment.
>But that’s no reason to be too liberal.
>With no resources coming in, everything you build cuts into your stockpile
>You’ve got to get mining operations going again.
>But defence first.
>Second, extend your power grid.
>Your robots aren’t going to be able to go anywhere without it, and that’s not good enough.
>You aren’t leaving your base ever again!
>Whatever that thing was, you barely stopped it WITH your static weapons.
>You’re NEVER exposing yourself
>Let the robots get killed. You’re staying safe.
>Maybe best to build some combat bots, too.
>You walk back to the front of your ship…
>And almost fall through the hole in the floor.

“Right… The torch. Which only works when I’m holding the trigger. What?”

>You check the schematic you used.
>Sure enough, that torch should have shut down the instant you dropped it.
>You look through the gap and find a large, smooth crater in the ground below.
>No sign of your torch.
>Or your arm.

“Was that the black stuff?”

>Could that stuff really have been that corrosive?
>It was just a few drops!
>But you can’t think of any other explanation.
>You check your database for extremely corrosive chemicals…
>No matches.
>Whatever that stuff was, it doesn’t follow the laws of chemistry.
>Perhaps some kind of exotic matter?
>Whatever the case, you need to watch for more of those things.
>And you need a new set of armor.
>You try to take off your current gear, but it’s bent too out of shape.
>Looks like you’ve got to cut it off.
>And then what? Replace it with more of the same?
>This set was useless.
>You need an upgrade.
>And MUCH heavier personal weapons.
>Which require energy.
>Energy you don’t have.
>Sure, your personal battery pack is better than these primitive lead-acid ones.
>But it’s still chemical energy production.
>You need antimatter!
>No way your current power supply can handle that.
>Not enough for your plans, at least.
>You need to build a reactor.
>How far away is fusion?

>Depends on resource availability.
>How about nuclear?

>Again, resource availability.
>So you’re stuck once again.
>Best set some teams of bots out to explore for you.
>You need something to make superconductors and some deuterium.
>Or you need a supply of fissile material.

“Right. A few bots to lay power lines, a couple combat bots, and a prospector bot. Anything else I need?”

>Yeah. A nap.
>Why are you in such bad shape?
>Sure, you lost a limb, but your spray should have patched you up.
>Brain chips say…
>You’re low on blood!
>AND you’ve got no way of recovering!
>Your implants only recycle material inside you, they don’t actually add anything!
>Every single cell you’ve lose since getting here…
>You NEED food.
>And you’ve no idea what on this planet is edible.
>Looks like you’re getting into DNA printing.
>And… you have everything you need?
>That’s new.
>Sure, you don’t have the chems themselves.
>But they’re easy enough to synthesise.
>Chem lab time.
>Damn good thing you had robots.
>There’s no way you’d be able to get all this done in time.
>But you’re a human, damn it!
>Your job isn’t DOING stuff.
>Your job is PLANNING stuff.
>Like what kind of arm to make.
>You could easily make a brand new arm with a tissue sample.
>Or you could go full on cyborg.
>You’ve got no microsurgery, and it’s unlikely you will any time soon.
>Not until you can properly mass produce nanomachines.
>So augmenting anything made of flesh would be nearly impossible.
>And while controlling a metallic appendage would be relatively easy, you’d have no tactile feedback.
That's it for now. Kinda short but I updated yesterday, and I'm not as awesome as LP.

I had already planned out what to do to replace Anon's arm, but a lot of you seem to have strong opinions, so I'm going to do something I was never planning on doing.
If you care strongly enough, go vote. If nobody cares, that's fine too.
oi, don't sell yourself short. You're not bad as a writer, and you're consistent with your updates. I'm sure this thread is glad to have you here

don't compare yourself to LP, because every writer is different. Just focus on yourself and how you write.

Also, if you don't want people to vote on ways to change your story, then don't bother. If you have plans, go through with them. Don't let anyone stop you from writing what you want
Your story is coming along nicely even better than LP's
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This is why we can't have nice things...
This story = very satisfying (even if nothing actually happened this update, other than obnoxious non-Maud pegasus being a cunt).

Now that Anon is modifying himself, it's a great place for creativity. Now, if I were him, I wouldn't just replace my arm, I'd go full-on animu levels of bionic nonsense. Instead of an arm, I'd build myself a reconfigurable vaguely arm-shaped robot bigger than the rest of my body. My arm would have legs. And artillery. And glowing electronic tentacles.

Now that's how you cyborg it up.
They're both great stories, but WIK's story has more scifi potential while LK's is more about 1950's tech vs magical monsters.

That being said, I want to read more of both.
I'd say having a Hyperion arm like from Tales from the Borderlands would be cool. You could control all the robots remotely from your arm and see what they see. He could even point the turrets and tell them to shoot even if the auto-aim can't see anything.
Tfw I'm the only anon who thinks a normal arm is a better idea. Why live?
Put speakers on that arm.
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If you're going to mention self replicating machines, take for example "Total Annihilation" and its successors: "Supreme Commander" and "Planetary Annihilation". Maybe you can make the prospector bot to create blueprints for an advanced printer.

Seconding this
Alright, guys, i'm a writefag from way too many threads back Also the one who accidentally made Anon into Picard for a sentence but I was hoping to see if anyone had any worthy ideas that could be spawned generically i.e Robotic Limbs, Mech Warfare, etc.
You fucks have played Mechwarrior, haven't you?
I don't really like LP's story kinda boring
I played Mechwarrior 2 once, but I'm more of a commander than a warrior, if you know what I mean.
Thanks. I know I shouldn't compare myself to LP, but I read his story so it's hard not to.
I don't want people to vote on my story, but I also don't want them not to. I really don't care. And it doesn't really matter which way you decide since both options yield interesting possibilities.

Anon is modifying himself out of necessity. He still lacks the medical capabilities that he had before leaving sol, so any changes he makes to his body will be a downgrade.
For now, at least.

Great idea. I wanted Anon to have some means of controlling his minions built in to his body, but I didn't want any parts that he was sent with to have wireless capabilities because Ghost in the Shell. Any parts made after launching need not be designed with that in mind, unless ponies start building computers. Thanks for the suggestion.
Never played a Telltale game, btw.

Blast Final Countdown across all of Equestria!

I've never played any of those, so I'll have to look into it a bit before I can take that under advisement. Thanks though.

I thought I'd played a lot of vidja, but here's another that didn't make the list.
One idea that I discarded because I couldn't make it work properly was a crashed probe or ship. Have the ponies try to piece together what it's about without any input from the creators. Like I said, it seemed to go nowhere so if you take it, good luck.
Supreme Commander's a li'l far fetched for me. if I get your reference.
Mechwarrior seems like a good situation with a Battalion of 6 horses to take on rogue enemies.
Plus, I'm more comfortable with mechs for some reason, and i have no clue why.
But i'll always be comfy with StarShips. Fuck you.
This was possibly the finest in the series.
It was short lived but had a lot of hope to it. The nostalgia of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLan9dguo2s Always gets me in feels.
But you sickos are disgusting. Honestly though, it's worth a play, Number 3 is.
I never judge someone's vidya taste. And I understand your point, because commanding a ginormus army require timing and patience.
>any changes he makes to his body will be a downgrade.
So basically, Anon is absolutely fucked, since even his best quality body and tech isn't enough to stop the Equestrian forces, and all they really have to do is wear him down.

Good going, humans.
You know, this whole situation makes me question the wisdom of sending out your biggest, most expensive piece of potentially world destroying wormhole technology to the opposite end of the universe in the care of a single undersupplied worker.
But really, I mean, what could possibly go wrong in that situation, you know?
Cyborg gunarm, like that dude in Deus Ex HR, with the Gatling gun in his arm.
Anon needs to put some of these up https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gryazev-Shipunov_GSh-6-23 , less strain on the grid, more dakka.
I suddenly want the anon in the story to now have a Mega Buster arm. Barring that, Vash the Stamped's emergency gun arm.
Are you implying Walmart sent him? Because if you are I agree, only they'd be fucked enough to do that.
I only had one idea come to mind.
Samus, the only woman who did her job right. I honestly think we need Samus-Like Anon now.
I want to do that but other writefags are probably still here and writinng.
>emergency gun arm
You mean the hidden machine gun or his Angel Arm?
This would be sweet.
What was it about
this actually got really fucking far since the first few threads

Im thinking about continuing my old story, I hated how it was written and kinda want to steer it in place. But If noone's interested I won't, that would make me a bother
Machine gun, Angel Arm's a bit op isn't it?
It was about Anon going off to settle the badlands, one of the first few to be written here.
Explain a bit, please?
Guns like this and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GShG-7.62_machine_gun would be perfect for Anons power grid, because they're not externally powered, but gas operated, and require very little or no electrical beyond whats needed for targeting.
I don't know, 2 immortal god horses and a spirit of chaos seems to have the scales tipped to one side in my opinion.
Original prompt, Twilight is a stuck up bitch and anon decides to leave. Spike sets out with him because he's tired of the glorified slave labour, and they spend a night homeless. They recruit Canterlot's derelict and 4 out of the mane six.

If you want to skim it, its in the pastebin list on the sticky
>It was about Anon going off to settle the badlands
>describes just about every story in the thread
Gotta be a bit more specific dawg.
What if Anon talks with a megaphone at them?
If you're a fan of Borderlands, I highly recommend it. The creator of Borderlands had his hand in creating the script so it has the same humor as in the games. If not, then it's still a good game on its own. And from what I heard, unlike several Telltale games, your choices from the earlier episodes have a lot of significance to how the final episode plays out.
It sounds like it'd be interesting, but would need loads of planning and development.
Is there some point or reference here I'm not getting?
Sorry anon, I'm not too keen on talking about my shit that often. It makes me feel like im advertising and I don't want to be that kind of faggot

See >>26041476
for a gist. I wasn't too proud on how i wrote it and Im thinking about continuing it to do it more justice
Just the ramblings of the mad on 4chan
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>tfw Nostalgiac feels from NES Metroid soundtrack.
>tfw about to write a story with power-suit anon.
>tfw you remember your days as a Nintenfag.
Hey If you want to do a rewrite I say go for it. I really like the idea of building a nation with the help of the poor and downtrodden.
Are we gonna have Lenin-like goods in there?
Not Stalin.
Eh? People are still making this mistake? I need to work on my writing.

Right! They'd be a downgrade.
>For now, at least.
The core concept is that knowledge isn't the whole story when it comes to tech. Anon knows how to make all this stuff, but he can't go to Radio Shack and buy an actuator. He was sent to do one job, he was well supplied to do that one job, and he blew it. Any machinery that wasn't useful for that one job wasn't sent, and so he needs to improvise or rebuild. Every piece he remakes gets him slightly closer to what he'd have back on Earth, giving him more options and power. If he had been augmented to be a soldier instead of a builder he'd be be unassailable, but he wasn't.

You could criticize HQ for not arming him well enough. Granted, they haven't encountered alien civilizations yet (this has been established in the story) so they wouldn't be expecting anything too powerful. Especially not Discord.

This is canon now.
Do it.
Aight, I'm actually writing for another thread, so its gonna be a bit later
the bourgeoisie need no stopping yet anon
Doesn't have to communist, after all it could be like pre-19th century america.
The Statue of Liberty does have the following engraved on a plaque
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
Money ruined America then
It'll ruin Equestria now.
better than supporting fucking communists
That was the original idear
Communism is actually a pretty great system, If you like in a world with unlimited expendable resources, and have just leaders who are immune to corruption and vice of any kind...
That's easy.
Give control of the military to the citizens in the case of that time. Have it written in a communist Doctrine.
Got to give them props for having a pretty good anthem.
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>and have just leaders who are immune to corruption and vice of any kind...

Reading comprehension Anon, learn it.
how's that extra chromosome working out for you?
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It can't happen your communism may "work on paper" but it will always lead to suffering and corruption. It's not as efficient as capitalism.
>Replace politicians with monopolizing companies and you get America.
Gee sure is a lot of irony now a days.
Back to the Science!
Who the fuck wants Mechwarrior or Metroid-ish Green?
Because I'm fucking bored.
And I need to practice.
I do

Best version, anon
Mechwarrior was badass, but the mechcommander series would be better, I always loved watching my lance tear shit up.
A lone SCV with 400 minerals drops into the badlands...
/a/ was right. Anime was a mistake.
yep, but if it didn't exist we wouldn't be here

It was a HUGE mistake
as much as anyone picks on horsefuckers/bronies/whatever the fuck you faggots are.... weeaboos are about 9000x worse.
great thing about mechanical is that when you're done with this crazy world you could just make a biological arm again.
Is it wrong i now want a green where, after anon leaves twilight he goes to celestia and it turns out a world war is around the corner. She hires him to lead the research and development of new weapons and tactics. Problem being that all of equestrias leading commanders are like the generals of WW1, stuck in their ways and un-adapting to new techniques.

So anon, whom knows what tactics will work along with what technology, has to convince the people of a nation which have been at peace for literal centuries. Dealing with nobles whom bought their way to command, shit like that.

Way too convoluted anon. Or it at least it was for me. I spent more time researching about generals than I did about writing them. Damn hide sniffer Ulysses. I bet he's in hell right now bragging about his day sucking horse cock.
I miss Machiavellian Anon.
Didn't they later rename MechCommander to Mechassault? Because MicroProse was with BackBone when I had found my old copy of Mechassault Phantom War.
Why do I feel this dude's trips practically force me to do this.
You guys alright if I shit up the thread, or would it destroy it for you?
I'd go for a Metroid type.
In mechcommander you're the guy in charge of a mech lance Mechassault is another game where you're the pilot.
I'm alright with it
>Only one person Specified Metroid Style.
>mfw I'm gonna go grab my nostalgia tracks.
Fuck you all.

Well, I remember MicroProse working on MechAssault one time sooner, couldn't remember if it was really them or not.

Time to autism.
MechAssault: Phantom War.

Mechcommander 2.
>As Celestia looked at the sky, awakened from her sleep by a vision, she stared up to the stars, a brilliant flash catching her eye as Luna stood beside her, the crisp cold air of winter and the light of the moon the only source of comfort in the night.
>"Sister, why dost thou stay awake at this time of the night?" Luna inquired to Celestia, as she pointed her hoof out to the stars in front, noting a spec that seemed to flash.
>"That, my dear sister, isn't a star. I saw something that isn't like what we've faced before. My dreams have been shunted away as I've seen what awaits us soon."
>"Sister, what has thou seen?" She said with a hint of fear cracking her voice, Celestia staring at her from the corner of her eye.
>"A warrior, from another plane of life, clad in armor. He wields light like a swordsman, but yields no sword to bear. His face is obstructed, but he... I don't know, the vision only told me of him."
>"But... How much longer until the foreign one arrives?" Luna inquired.
>"Soon... Have the Guards summon the Princess, and have them take watch on the horizon star. We can't allow any threat to set foot in Equestria." Celestia's voice sounded the most tensed, but eased as Luna nodded in response, trotting away as her hoof steps silently interrupted the peace.
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i miss big boss anon
>Be-Rooo. Be-Rooo.
>The Klaxon sounded off as you opened your eyes, your Cryochamber opening in an emergency response to the ship's crash being imminent but there still being oxygen on board and a stable hull integrity.
>Your boots clank against the metal grates as you rush to your control board. Cryosleep had taken you a long time, but you somehow managed to survive.
"Computer, replay logs from current time period to departure."
>"Recognized. Retrieving..."
>The computer was showing the dates it had stopped itself near stars to recharge, but had entered a strange log.
>"2 weeks prior to arrival, energy boundary with no consistent mass opened. Electromagnetic and Ionic waves disrupted navigation and propulsion temporarily. Entered rift 3 hours after loss of systems. Current location: Not on Star Charts. No current location can be determined."
"An energy boundary with no mass... Dimensional wormhole?"
>"Not enough evidence to complete analysis."
"Computer, straighten up angle to make landing as easy as possible."
>"Aligned at 30 Degrees. Preparing for landing on surface."
>Within seconds, you saw the landing plots pull themselves up on screen as a geometric lot points were shown, and the closest and safest spot was pointed out as calculations were thrown up on screen and you felt your ship's thrusters firing.
>Taking a seat, you sat in your metallic alloy clothes as you quickly began to examine the readings from the ship's scans.
>Atmosphere: Nitrogen with CO2 and O2 Concentration.
>Life signs detected. Agricultural development and Industrial development detected.
>Looks like this was gonna be a bad time if you didn't play it right.

>However, back on the surface, the sun was already rising as Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash were standing with guards outside of the Everfree forest.
I hate you so much.
>He wields light like a swordsman, but yields no sword to bear.
That's a really good line
I'm sorry if I messed that up, I really tried to have some sort of "vision vocabulary" going on.
Also almost forgot the name.

>"Why are we here again?" Dash said in her tone of boredom as she cracked her neck.
>"Princess Celestia says there's somepony on the way here, and they may not know the world like we do." Twilight said wearily as she looked up, seeing a flash in the sky.
>"It means a new friend, and a new friend means a NEW PARTY just for THEM!" Pinkie exclaimed ecstatically as the guards could see Twilight looking up, staring at the sky as they joined her, seeing the flash as Twilight's eyes immediately diverted to Rainbow Dash.
>"Dash, fly above the forest, I want to know where that thing lands!" Twilight ordered as Dash just grunted like she had a ton of bricks on her back.
>"If anything happens, you owe me!" Dash exclaimed before soaring up into the air. She could see what Celestia was talking about now.
>A big, shining thing falling from the sky,a bit of fire from the rear as she shouted down.
>"It's landing near the center!" She echoed as they could hear the groaning metal as the thrusters were spewing fire from the bottom and the large metal beast began to slow, and stand up, taking refuge in the forest.
>"Twilight, it's near the castle's Entrance! Hurry!" Dash shouted as she had taken off towards the direction of the ship's landing area, the rainbow trail making the direction easy to identify as the guards began to hurry up, hut-ing as Twilight and Pinkie were leading them, keeping track of the Rainbow Trail.
I was hoping for battletech..
>As Rainbow Dash stood near a line of trees, the troops were quieting down as the metal monster was flaming at the rear, but had set itself on what looked to be props of sorts.
>And within seconds, a creak was heard as you had stepped outside of your ship, the dark forest blinding you a bit as you activate your lights, shining upon all that was infront of you.
>You heard a branch go as you pulled your right arm up, your arm cannon ready to fire, finger on the trigger as you backed up, trying to show fear to whatever was watching you.
>"He's afraid..." Dash whispered to Twilight as she and Pinkie hid behind the treeline with Dash, the guards spread out around the position as you slowly walked to the rear of your ship, lowering your cannon as you could see the obvious result of coming in too hot.
"Computer, begin nanofactory reconstruction of rear port thrusters, and begin Solar Recharge cycle. Stay locked from all life signs but mine."
>Be-we-boo-woo. The computer chirp was the signal you had known all too well as 'operation successful' as you could hear your ship's repair functions begin to work, and in a moment of curiousity, you looked up.
"Seems like the air's breathable..." You mutter as you put your left hand's finger tips upon a set of buttons, and pushed them in a sequential order.
>And in a second, the neck-bind was gone from your suit's helmet as you removed it, taking a deep breath.
"That's the stuff..." You muttered as you sat against your ship's landing prop, sighing.
>That wasn't a coincidence.
>In a hurry, you put your helmet back on, suit protocols locking the microfibers back around your neck and helmet as you pull your right arm up, aiming as your HUD began to display your current sight and energy readouts for your suit.
>Life support, operational.
>Scanning Utilities, Operational.
>Basic Energy Ballistics armament, Online.
"Whoever, or, whatever you are, I do not want to fight," you say, backing up to your ship as you lowered your arm cannon to the ground, only to let the lights from your suit show what had just begun to walk out of the woods.
"Dear God..." You mutter as your eyes seemed to deceive you.
>"Hello, uh... We don't know what to address you as, so..." It was a purple unicorn with wings.
>A fucking legend.
"Anonymous," You say, trying to seem genuinely calm as your hands seemed to clam up and your breath was rapid. Your HUD Seemed to silently alert you to that.
>"Anonymous, uh.... I guess you're a male, are you?" Twilight asked nervously. Your only response was a nod.
"I see we share development of the same language, my a mile of miracles."
>"Yes, um..." Twilight said nervously as Pinkie sprang up with a smile, Guards starting to appear out of the woodline as a Rainbow-maned horse with a blue coat trotted carefully, but one ran to you with a smile.
>It was pink as hell.
>And a practical blu-
>"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!" You could hear as she had leaped up, hugging your suit's iron torso as your helmet adjusted with your head, the visor dimming a bit as you saw big, blue eyes staring into your visor.
>Panic was surging into your veins but you remained calm as she smiled, and Twilight spoke up.
>"Hah, Pinkie's just glad there's a new friend here. We're sorry if you don't take this gesture the same way that we do-"
"It's alright. I just don't hug much," you say, putting your left metallic arm around pinkie and her body, gently getting on a knee as you stared at the hoard of ponies before you.
>"We can't really see you. Is it alright if I can use some magic?" Twilight said, lighting her horn up as you raised a brow.
"Sure, go right ahead," you mutter sarcastically. It had to be bullshit
>But you were proven wrong as a flash had shown you and your armor.
>The shoulders were flat, the chest and and torso all had been flat but had the bulk metal design like an old hydraulic armor suit.
>The helmet was squared in front and around, giving a slightly hexagonal look in front but pentagonal look from the side.
>Your arms and legs, however, seemed slightly thinner than the rest, but still had a wierd, squared shape to it as you backed up a step, staring at the unicorn as the guards took a position that looked like offense.
>"It's alright," said the blue-coated pegasus."I'm Rainbow Dash and this is Twilight Sparkle." She seemed calm and collected, like she had seen one of your kind before.
>"Yes, I am Twilight," The purple winged unicorn stated as she bowed in greeting. "Our princess wishes to see you concerning your arrival, and I am to act as the ambassadorial voice."
Gonna continue this tomorrow, starting to lose my steam for the night.
If this thread survives, I'll give it a quick shot and try to do better.
If the green flows we will be here.
This general has been pretty lively lately. Even if this thread did die, somebody would remake it.
Well, fun thing is I don't do Pastebins.
I trust others to read it in the moment, to enjoy it as it comes, and to use the moment to help another anon.
If they wanna save it they can, I don't care. I just want people to cherish moments, even if they are bad.
One last entry for the night.
"I suppose I should come along to keep those other... Uh.."
>"Ponies?" Twilight sparkle interrupted.
"Yeah, ponies, from having to drag me in by force."
>"It'd help," Rainbow Dash said as she flung her mane a bit,letting her head shimmy a second before resting as she cracked her neck.
"I suppose I have no choice. Lead the way," you say as you're only greeted by a look from Twilight.
>"On one condition. You've gotta remove the suit."
"I can't, it's... Practically me. It'd be strange to walk without it," you say as Twilight's only response was a stern glare as you could only sigh. "Fine," You mutter as you look at your arm cannon, flipping a side panel up as you hit a few buttons, and your suit began to glow bright in the damp, dark forest, letting it dissipate slowly as you stood infront of the group, wearing your tights as your boots hit the ground softly.
>Gasps rang from the mouths of all the ponies, and you stood tall, overlooking each of them, your superior height and bipedal build giving you a mobile reign over the equines.
>"Wow. I've never seen your kind before," Twilight says, examining you for a second before she shakes her head, and snaps into her normal state. "Alright, let's head back." She orders loudly as you can only watch the ponies begin their trek back, following at the rear as guards made sure to keep watch on you.
>It was a rough half hour before you had come across what seemed to be a small town, each pony giving you an awkward stare of horror as you and the brigade had passed through, arriving at what seemed to be a castle composed of crystals, colored purple as you had begun to grow nervous.
"Who am I going to see in here?" You ask a bit shakily.
>"The Princesses," Twilight muses to you as the guards disperse, the gates opening slowly as you watch Twilight slowly walk inside, following reluctantly as you can see out the corer of your eye two following guards, meant to ensure you didn't attack.
>just giving in
Should've told her to piss off.
>Well, you're making first contact,, surrounded by guards, and your weapons aren't that powerful, you don't have much of a choice.
I have no idea how strong the gear is, I just assumed if we're traveling through space our weapons and armor should be more than enough to handle some waist high ponies with spears.
First Contact is something very hard. You don't want to come off as hostile, and you don't want to seem weak either.
If anything, I have a plan.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to the bed.
And remember,
Follow your dreams.
I really need to replay the series again. That was some fun times.
Interested to see where this goes because I have no idea where you're taking this ride
looking forward to more!
Moved way to fast through initial contact to an ok ill do whatever you want cuckattitude for me
>Actually got a 12 Hour sleep cycle in.
>Just awakened with no need of coffee.
It's been a long time since I've really felt this good. It's time to see if I can't keep the steam going. Gotta move furniture in an out in an hour so I'll try to keep it good.

I'm trying not to do some shitty beta anon story here. Bear with me.
>As you, Twilight, and the accompanying guards proceeded down the castle corridors, it reminded you of the old Federation Starships, how they had some of the deepest corridors and how the light was dim in some areas because the desk wasn't top-level of important. Eventually, you came to a room with chairs, seeing two other winged unicorns sitting with their hooves in front of their torso, one being white with aquamarine, pink and a gentle cyan blue mane, while a darker, slightly shorter blue with a mane that seemed to have transperency and the look of stars as well.
>"I brought him back Celestia. He seems peaceful," Twilight remarked as the white-coated pony stood off her seat, walking towards you. Knowing that she was the one who rose when her name was called, it was obviously Celestia.
>"So you are the one I saw..." Celestia said, looking into your eyes as you took a nervous step back.
>"Wait, what Celestia?" Twilight interrupted, now sounding a bit confused.
"Saw?" You asked, a tad more nervous.
>"You were in my visions. You arrived here after a month of taunting my dreams. Why?"
"W-What?!" You said, taking another step back as your suit's no-power tights had a light going off in the chest area.
>Your heart was racing, and you didn't know what she was going on about.
"I can't do that! I-I mean, it requires telepathy to do that! My race isn't even that evolved to modify our bodies, nonetheless use our minds to tamper with others!"
>"Twilight," You heard Celestia say. "I want you to take this being into your care for the night. Do not let him leave."
Celestia comes across as a bit of jerk. The "Do not let him leave" part makes it feel like she's treating him like a prisoner despite being so far cooperative.
Gotta keep in mind she may have seen more than she bargained for. Or that her visions weren't all revealed to Luna.
There's some things you have to keep in your head,
fuck it.
>You are Anonymous, it is 1 am and are walking towards the farm Applejack.
>While dry your tears, you're going through what you're going to end up doing.
>Why dry your tears ?.
>Twilight and you had a fight.
>This time was calmer.
>If you are wondering as he learned, it was that Dr. Stable saw the castle.
>You forgot the hospital bill, damn you and your nonsense.
>But hey, what's done is done.
>There is only moving forward.
>Also, today is a special evening.
>If this device works properly, no more dirty showers or filthy water in which you have to wash.
>As you move through the village still considering a few things.
>The time you have been here, most of the employees in devices they need to do things, they need a unicorn.
>Each device requiring specialized work use magic.
>The crystals act as not only jewelry, but as ways of containing magic energy.
>Prices for these crystals are too high and require government persimmons for use
>No mentioning its maintenance and recharging it is somewhat inflexible.
>You wonder why it is that.
>Prices for each repair should be high if Rarity prefer to buy a new one every time one is damaged.
>You've also seen that the places that most businesses have at least a unicorn.
>Lucky bastards.
>You have to deal with mediocre jobs when the money is in the magic.
>But sadly, you being a human born in the earth, using magic would have been cool.
>But good to will think about magic at another time
>You arrived to the farm.
>The air is cold and the coat that Rarity made for you, covers your upper body but not the face.
>You have to move quickly yet do it carefully if you want everything to remain secret.
>Secretly enough to realize that is early morning.
>You're the little howdy filly Applebloom and you just wake up.
>The sound of bells you awakened again for the fourth time this week.
>And for the fourth time I get up at 4am.
>It's time to see what happens.
>You go to the kitchen and the pantry, take a big frypan.
>You may be small, but you'll do battle.
>A wicked cold outside caresses your body.
>The jingle was heard toward the water hole.
>Sure that beast was comfortable with food and water for free.
>But it is already just his luck.
>As you approach the foza you realize that your main pump been dismantled and is in the pulled floor.
>Damn animal, entering your property and destroying your home.
>Maintaining composure, you approach more and more to be near them.
>It is doing something to the pipe.
>It is time to stop.
>Of a sudden, the monster rises calmly.
>It is very high.
>And with a jump, you get a hit directly on it's head.
>After the coup, your body reacts in a manner known.
>Only you turned around and hit the tree.
>Just listen as the beast fell like a sack of potatoes.
>That'll teach it.
>But now that time, the monster has a strange skin color
>While you sift through, you realize that it was not skin which covered it, but clothing
>And whom you've hit it was none other than that huumend Anonymous
>That guy as problematic.
>You are Anonymous, and you've just woken up.
>Last night, just when you finished placing your device and replacing the old pump, you were attacked by something.
>You can still feel like your head hurts just at the part where you were beaten.
>And your waist say the same, with a piercing pain in it, making it somewhat difficult to get up.
>when you open your eyes, you realize there are 4 ponies of different colors in surrounding you.
>"Look, the youngster just woke up"
>You hear a strong and somewhat raspy voice, the voice of an old woman
>another voice is heard, even with closed eyes you know that even distinguish the voice that is heard across the room; you know it's masculine and deep.
>"I can not believe what my little sister said to me, someone got into our farm at night, I can not believe who was the pony"
>A voice with a certain something, female and sounded accent appears.
>You know where you are.
>"Hi Anon, good morning"
>Says a voice while a yellow blur tackles you to your back.
>"I hope you are well, sorry for the hit on the head"
>Says the little filly, snugling away your pain.
>"Do not worry sister" Applejack says in a tone somewhat angry - "Thieves like that kind of treatment they deserve"
>"Wait a minute, young lady" - the voice of the Apple family elder is bring back loud and clear, and clearly, is angry "That is not the way, no matter how or what they have done"
>While they argue, you come to your senses.
>We living in the house of the apple family, you are sitting on the floor.
>and it is noon.
>"But Grandma"
>"Never mind, moreover, he is not the thief apples"
>No caps.
>No punctuation.
>Not even green.
Best to take this to AiE Generals.
>not even green.
I meant no White text for Anon.
Holy shit is my autism spiking.

>Apple thief?
>Since when this happened?
>"How do you know Grandma?"
>The orange pony say while you still looking disdainfully
>"Why was I who has been watching over him"
> You say without hesitation. You did not know you were watched.
>"So little young man."
>"I know what you've done"
>Self-preservation activate
>run run run run
>you're paralyzed!
>use the healing potion!
>It can not be outside of battles!
>NOOO Abort Abort, CTL + ALT + DEL !!
>"My question is..."
>This is over, you will reveal.
>"How did you do it, son?"
>The look of the old mare is of curiosity, even if it is a bit off
"Study and design to both so they were fine."
>"What kind of magic did you use ?, boy" Granny Smith moves in his chair closer to you giving small jumps.
"W-works without magic"
>You hear movement on your right. The small Applebloom this to your left, bigmac this with his grandmother in front of you, leaving your right to Applejack
>You hear the sound of water running in the kitchen, still you do not know which is the only place with water.
>"Anon" - claims applejack with a glass of water placed on the floor
>"This water is of high quality, how is it possible to achieve something like this without using magic?"
"But i did it, and doesn't requires water!"
>Applejack looks at you, like trying to find something lost on your face.
"That's why I wanted to do"
>"But how did you do ?, each Part should cost you a lot of money!"
"Not really..."
>"You helped our farm, you expect a payment?"
"Well ..." - That's what comes out of your mouth, your eyes focus on the big green orbs earth pony with Stenson
>An awkward silence fills the place
>Big Mac's voice resonates in the air while he launches a threatening look
"Not really ... I did it because I knew you needed it"
>"What do you mean?"
>Applejack said with doubt in her voice
>I think it's time to say the novelty.
"Applejack, I can not drink water from the house, less bathe in it?"
>"That water you talking about?"
"grrrr, that water ... the water container you assigned ME since I began to work!"
>"what container are you talking about?"
>"You have to drink from the tap or house, that was from the beginning"
"That's not true, the container is in the room you assigned me to clean!"
>"Just apples are cleaned on that container!"
>"Yes, that container has water for cleaning apples, changing it each half day to keep them fresh and sweet"
>A mocking smile appeared on the face of the family
>"You've been bathing with dirty water without knowing it!" Says the small Applebloom while rolling on the floor laughing, and then continue with the rest of the family only in the giggles.
You are Anonymous and are currently working with the Apple family.
"And so, cleanliness is maintained without problems"
At this point you're teaching the family how to clean your device, how it works and more.
>"It's amazing how you designed this thing, and think you have no cutie mark and you're not a pony!"
>The apple matriarch comes closer to see you desing, even if she has seen better times by now, you can still see some shine in her eyes.
"Grandma!" - Says Applejack while looking at a little blush is noted even in his orange fur
"Do not worry, just one day came to me as a necessity"
"I know that child, but what I want to know is why you did for the whole farm, not only for your container?"
>You think for a second, guess the best polity is to be honest, even more if the element of honesty infront of you, damn with that green eyes.
"I did it because I thought we needed, not only me, if not all."
>A look of confusion was in the farmer orange horse.
"I thought everyone used water with the same quality of wather,the change thought would be a good way to solve the problem"
"I don't belive that you can't stand that quality of water, hell even i took a swing or two in the liquid, but for me is not right that if i have the answer to the problem and didn't do a thing about it, even more if that way the life of someone can improve with mine."
>I've commited sins and fails in the past, but if my knowledge and strenght can help others, even with the little resources and time tha can i have, it can and will be done.
>"And that why you will keep doing it, sonny"
That was 3 days of going work, sleep and then write, reading, editing, tranlsated, reading, editing.

Damn, even with the tips of the Writefag guild. is hard to keep up this.
You're writing it in your main language and then translating it to English, right?
Try using short and simple sentences.
What >>26050428 said. When trying to learn a language you're more likely to make a mistake the longer an individual sentence goes on for. As sentences go on, they become more complex. The more complex a sentence the higher the chance for something to get lost in translation. >>26050173 really demonstrates this well.
>double dubs
M-may i have some numbers too [email protected]?
Off by one Kenobi there, buddy.
>No caps.
Major exaggeration.
>No punctuation.
Major exaggeration.

I agree that it could use some editing and proof reading, but cut the guy a little slack.
Writing in a foreign language? I do not envy you.
This was before I knew of Foreign language man.
Now that he's in a foreign language I can't help but feel empathy
That's fair. It would have been pretty bad for a native English speaker, and it's reasonable to assume any random person here is a native English speaker.
Sorry if I came across as too harsh.
Yeah. It's alright, you were stating your point. >>26050268
Yo, KiloVAnon, Apologies. I thought you were a shitty 12 year old. Trust me, I apologize now that it was known you were a foreign language speaker and had no way to write in English like us who speak it. i admire your effort though.
pg9 bump
pg 10 bump
Bump, slow night tonight.
especially compared to the day before
LP is kill
/r/ing Tatzlwurm bane
Hey give the guy some slack, he was updating fairly regularly for a while there. Holidays also ended so he may not have as much free time to update daily.
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>After having a nice breakfast with Anon and Moondancer Anon said he wanted to show you around.
>The citizens that live here are very friendly.
>You even talked with some of them about their lives.
>Many were unhappy living in Dodge Junction and decided to follow Anon and they also expressed how incompetent Dodge Junction’s Mayor was.
>You let out a relived sigh, thinking that Anon were brainwashed like Starlight Glimmer’s ponies.
>Then the diamond dogs.
>As peaceful and intelligent as ponies from your beloved Ponyville.
>They are eternally grateful towards Anon for giving them another chance, even if they met each other for the first time with the wrong hoof.
>Some pegasi heard rumors that there was a town being built here and decided to come check it out.
>They liked it here so much that they decided to stay.
>It’s weird how they trust a being that they have not seen before and start their lives once again.
>But then again, all Anon wants is to make everyone feel comfortable, even if they don’t have the same abilities as their neighbors.
>It’s cute how Anon was able to eradicate some tense barriers between races and species.
>A mare kissing a diamond dog? Diamond dogs living on the surface? And they all follow a being from another world that you summoned?
>Maybe it was bound to happen.
>You’re glad you didn’t summon the wrong type of guy Anon kept talking about back when he lived in the castle with you.
>”Say Twi? What do you think so far?”
“It’s just…wow, Anon. I’m really impressed with all the things you’ve achieved so far.”
>”As I was saying, our pumps work really well and provide us with water blah blah blah…”
>You look at the farms being watched by a mare.
>They look like they work really hard.
>And that makes you happy.
>You knew that Anon could share some of his strong work ethic with his friends.
What are /mlp/'s favourite Technology vs Magic fanfics?

>”Hmm? What is it Twi?”
“How do you assign ponies work? Are they comfortable with doing things they were not used to do back then?”
>“Some of them are really skilled when it comes to farming, building, etc. But many are aware that everyone here has to do their part you know? I taught them that it’s part of a learning experience, and that they all need different skills to help their neighbors.”
“Really now?”
>”Yeah, and I help them out, so they don’t see me as some sort of tyrant that stays at home doing nothing…for example, I hate mining, but we all need the minerals which this land provides by plenty, to build say…this lamppost right here!”
“Oh, so you work as well?”
>”Why shouldn’t I? Look, it did wonders to my body!”
>Anon flexes in front of you in a funny way.
“Oh you! Stop it…” You say while giggling.
>”Haha, you reacted just like Moondancer, aren’t you her distant twin or something?”
>You bump his leg with your hoof.
“Reeeal funny Anon…”
>”Now let me show you how some of my tech works Twi, I’m sure that a smart mare like you can give her input to my designs and even work on her own don’t you agree?”
“Why thank you Anon. Yeah, I’d like that.”
>”Maybe some unicorns won’t like the fact that their magic won’t be needed for the appliances I’m working on…I hope they don’t get mad at me.”
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>Many hours later.
>You’ve learned how Anon’s tech works, and even made some corrections to some of his blueprints.
>And you finally know how to build a magicless refrigerator.
>It’s so complicated, but you’ll know that making a few adjustments here and there to your fridge you’ll get it to work once again.
>You should’ve listened to his words back then.
>Maybe the two of you could’ve achieved something together as a team.
>But you had to be rude towards him…
“Well, that was very educative Anon. But I have to go back to Ponyville…Spike is probably worried sick over me.”
>”Alrighty then Twi.” He says before letting out a yawn, “it was good to have you here.”
“Thanks Anon, I enjoyed my stay here; and although I hate to admit it, you were right and I was wrong.”
>Anon starts jumping and pumping his fists in the air.
>”HAHAHA! There we go! See Twi? That wasn't so hard,2 was it?”
>You roll your eyes.
“Easy there genius, you still haven’t built those planes and cars you talked about.”
>”That’ll take some time to develop, maybe I won’t even be alive to see that day…it depends on all the help I can get my hands off. The Flange Sisters are pretty eager to work on some stuff you know.”
>Anon touches your wings.
>”The day I build a plane then you can say goodbye to these,” he says while fondling them, “holy smokes they are so soft.”
>You swat away his hands.
“Careful! They are…sensitive,” you say as you feel a blush forming on your cheeks.
>”Oops, sorry Twi.”
“Well, I gotta go Anon. I’ll come here another day.”
>”You’re always welcome here Twi, you can bring your friends as well.”
>You smile at him.
“Sure Anon…take care.”
>Anon gives you one of his bear hugs, but instead of pushing him away you hug him back.

>After you break the hug you teleport out of his shed and reappear in Moondancer’s room.
“Hello Moondancer.”
>”Don’t do that! You scared me…”
>You giggle.
“Sorry Moondancer, what are you working on?”
>”I’m writing more laws, now that we’re a country we need to make sure everypon- I mean everyone that desires to live here quickly adapts.”
>She has lots of papers on her desk.
“Alright then. Well, I just came here to say goodbye.”
>”Leaving so soon Twilight? Aww…that’s a shame.”
”Don’t worry, I’ll come to visit when I have a chance. But now I must leave.”
>”Alright Twilight, if you drop by Canterlot remember to check up on our friends okay? Tell your Ponyville friends I said hi as well.”
“Will do Moondancer, take care okay?”
>”Wait Twilight!”
“What is it?”
>The shy unicorn lets out a sigh.
>”W-well…I hope this question is not too personal but; how much time did it take your brother to ask your sister-in-law to marry him?”
>You let out a giggle.
“Oooh…I see what’s going on now, don’t worry Moondancer, Anon will ask that question soon enough, and in a moment you weren’t even expecting.”
>”Y-you think?”
“Yes! It took my brother a longer time, but I assure you that you’ll call Anon your ‘hubby’ soon.”
>Moondancer lets out a giggle.
>”Thanks Twi.”
“Bye Moondancer.”
>You teleport out of Moondancer’s room and reappear flying over the town.
>You can’t wait to see check up on this town’s progress.
>You spread your wings and fly back to Ponyville.
Ahh but the question is will she be the only one calling Anon "hubby"
Any good Tech vs Twi on fimfic?
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>implying Moondancer won't leave Anon because she wants foals as well.
>implying it won't be the same with the rest of the females there.
>implying Twilight won't be the true waifu
>”Alrighty then Twi.” He says before letting out a yawn, “it was good to have you here.”
“Thanks Anon, I enjoyed my stay here; and although I hate to admit it, you were right and I was wrong.”
>Anon starts jumping and pumping his fists in the air.


>Where is this hidden DJ?
>Why is everyone not dancing?
>Why is hidden party tech not activated?
>Why is everyone not saying "in your face", "WOOOOOAH!" and "oh snap"?
>Why haven't the Princesses and all of twilight's friend and family jumped out of hiding and shouted "serves you right bitch!"?
>Why is Anon not carried onto throne and made new princess of technology?
>Why wasn't twilight's title and castle revoked?
>Why wasn't there a flash forward to show she regretted her actions for the rest of her life and died a virgin while Anon had sex multiple times everyday with his harem?
>So disappointing

I followed this story for nothing.
10/10 Buildup and Hype
0/10 Delivery
>“Easy there genius, you still haven’t built those planes and cars you talked about.”

Can't call it a day yet.
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>Anon flexes in front of you in a funny way.
>>”W-well…I hope this question is not too personal but; how much time did it take your brother to ask your sister-in-law to marry him?”
>>You let out a giggle.
>“Oooh…I see what’s going on now, don’t worry Moondancer, Anon will ask that question soon enough, and in a moment you weren’t even expecting.”
>>”Y-you think?”
>“Yes! It took my brother a longer time, but I assure you that you’ll call Anon your ‘hubby’ soon.”
>>Moondancer lets out a giggle.
>>”Thanks Twi.”
just wait until the other shoe drops, then this scene will be heartbreaking.
Is this 4chan? I thought this was 4chan.

So, the poll was fairly decisive. Don't worry if you chose wrong, biotech will be a thing later.

>You are Anon.
>You have decided.
>You need to be strong now.
>While you’ll miss having a real arm, the strength provided by machinery is too valuable.
>Once you have a proper microsurgery, you’ll reconsider.
>And Microsurgery is definitely going on the list!
>But for now, you’d be limited to just flesh.
>Lacking any and all mechanical augments?
>No thanks.
>Even with genetic tweaking, you’d be lacking in strength.
>This world hit you way harder than you’d expected.
>You’re going to make damn sure that next time, you’re ready to hit back.
>Time to become a warrior.

“Bellator ex machina.”

>You had the best civilian augments available.
>But the corporation couldn’t get you military augments.
>This op was too high profile, they couldn’t get away with many illegal dealings.
>Out here? You are the law.
>Or probably some horse more likely.
>But that doesn’t matter!

“Well, Anon? How are we going to do this?”

>At first you were going to make it out of steel.
>But you don’t feel like using such primitive materials.
>This thing is going to be a part of you, after all.
>And you’ve got access to something far better.
>You’ve got the means to make a high temperature pressure chamber now.
>Carbon’s pretty easy to get ahold of.
>Why not go for nanotubes?
>Time to get a schematic…
>Yeah, this looks doable.
>It’ll take a few days to get production going, though.
>You COULD make one out of steel in the meantime…
>But if you’re going to do this, you want to do it right.
>Not like you’re in good enough shape to use it at the moment anyway.
>You order your newest batch of robots to get started, and go back to bed.
>Damn chem lab can’t be done too soon.
>You are Celestia.
>You are scrying.
>You’re also starting to feel useless.
>Twilight and Shining Armor have done everything since you got here.
>All you accomplished was getting your sister wounded.
>Oh sure, at first you had a decent excuse for being worthless, what with the absurd injuries you’d suffered…
>But now?
>Now you’re just sitting here, watching an ape sleep.
>Oh! It’s getting up!
>The silvery sheen over its stump is still unsettling…
>It goes over to the glowy box in the front of its home and presses a bunch of buttons.
>It looks outside.
>Then goes back to bed.
>It certainly seems to be weakened.
>It can’t be the amputation alone, the other apes handled those with much less trouble.
>Based on what you’ve seen from this one, you’re almost surprised it hasn’t grown a new limb yet.
>Despite how absurd that would be.
>Perhaps you can be of some use if you figure out why it’s struggling.

>”Got a fresh batch of muffins for ya, Princess!”

>Pinkie drops a tray of banana nut goodness in front of you.
>Strictly speaking, she’s not supposed to be in here…
>But you’re willing to be lenient with the elements.
>Besides, it’s Pinkie.
>You’re not sure you could keep her out if you tried.

“Thank you Pinkie. They smell divine.”

>With a happy squeak, she bounces out.
>You grip a steaming muffin with your magic and bite into it.
>It would likely burn anypony else, but you’re not too worried.
>Heat never bothered you anyway.

“Mm! Nopony knows what they’re missing.”

>Best when fresh, freshest when scalding hot.
>Wait a second…


>You hear her groan from the next room.
>Was she sleeping?
>No way. It’s only…
>High noon.


>She sounds annoyed.
>You can’t blame her.

“Uhh.. muffin?”

>She just glares at you.

“Right. Maybe when they’ve cooled a bit. Sorry. What has the ape been eating?”
>She seems to wake up a bit at that.

>”I do not recall ever seeing it eat.”

“Interesting. Despite all we’ve seen, that’s a bit far fetched. It’s done too much work to not eat, yes?”

>”Perhaps it eats lightning? It seems to use that for everything else, and we’ve seen it connect wires to its chest.”

>You were going to mock her.
>Gently, of course.
>But it almost makes sense.
>It would get the energy it needed.
>And nothing else!

“It’s struggling to recover from the wound. I think it’s malnourished. Which means it’s going to try and find food. Which means…”

>”It’s going to try to hunt!”

“We need to watch it at all times-”

>”Not enough! What if the machines it sent out before are hunting parties?”

“Mother of me...”
>You are Classified.
>Yup, that’s your name.
>Classified Document.
>You’re named after your grandmother.
>But that’s not what matters right now.
>You’ve been working in the assembly line for hours now.
>Making storm clouds into highly compact balls.
>You, and the other Shadowbolts.
>They need to work on their stealth, though.
>It only took you a couple hours to find them.
>Both of them!
>The single most important trait a Shadowbolt can have is subtlety.
>Or perhaps endurance.
>Well, none of that matters without loyalty.
>Of the MANY traits that are important to being a Shadowbolt, subtlety is high on the list.

>”Step it up, colts! Do you want to be here all night?”

>Subtlety that will prove handy right now.
>The mission you’re about to undertake hasn’t been approved across the board.
>In fact, only one princess has approved.
>The most important one.
>You wait…
>And snap into action the moment nopony is watching.
>You quickly make your way to the front door and crack it open.
>Then slip your way back into the production line.
>The foremare takes nearly five minutes to notice…

>”The door’s open? Did somepony sneak out?”
>She leaves to investigate.
>What an idiot.
>The entire production line dissolves into chaos as everypony decides to take a break.
>It’s trivially easy to fill a bag with storm balls and leave.
>Your queen’s plan was aggressive, and you liked it.
>While everypony else was bickering about how best to hide from your foe, she ordered you to strike.
>After all, you already knew how to hide.
>You slip on the pendant you’d been given when you were promoted to the elite.
>A relic imbued with your queens blessing, crafted specifically for you.
>Light starts to slip through your body.
>Seconds pass before you’re less than a shadow.
>Now nopony could ever find you if you stay quiet.
>And you’re GOOD at being quiet.
>You take flight and make your way to the designated location.
>You’ve no way of knowing if your cohorts have done the same…
>But that question never even occurs to you.
>They will succeed, just like you will.
>You follow the lines outward, travelling as fast as you can without making too much noise.
>It takes nearly an hour to reach the target location.
>The ape’s constructs work FAST!
>But there they are…
>One drilling holes deep into the earth, and planting tall spires.
>Another stringing wires from spire to spire.
>A third, walking around, seemingly looking for something.
>And finally, two more.
>Turning to face you.
>Raising their appendages your way.
>They’ve spotted you? But how?
>You hurl your clouds at them as you begin to retreat.


>Something tears through your body, knocking you from the sky.
>Your consciousness is rapidly fading as you lose altitude.
>But you can see the clouds hit home.
>The constructs twitch violently as they explode…
>Several of the spires explode too.


“Take that, you ugly monkey bastard.”

>You prepare to meet the ground, but it never comes.
>You are Luna.
>You are starting to relax.
>It’s been a hectic day, running around ordering all those evacuations.
>But you had to make sure everypony was safe.
>Oh sure, you had a plan to stop the hunting parties.
>But you’re not sure it will work.
>You trust your Shadowbolts entirely, that’s not a concern.
>You’re just not sure the storm balls will work.
>Now you’ve got a difficult decision to make.
>How to tell everypony else you went over their heads.
>You’ll know soon enough it the storm balls worked, and that is important information.
>You need to tell the others, but they won’t be happy.
>Perhaps if it works, you can just let them find out for themselves?
>It’s not like success would change their plans in any meaningful way.
>But if it doesn’t work-


>You’ve got a much bigger problem.
>You run back to the royal bunk.
>You rip the door off its hinges with your magic.


>You strike Twilight, Shining Armor, and your sister in their faces with your magic.
>A chorus of pained protests greet you.
>The third is down!

>”Sister, what’s wrong?”

>You don’t answer.
>You draw on as much magic as you can gather.
>You hover in the air as mana crackles about your body.
>You focus on the arcane signature of the pendants you’d given your best fliers...
>You violently rip the fabric of space as your summoning spell activates.


>Three bleeding and battered pegasi lay on the floor.
>All three…
>Two have clearly crashed, their bodies only vaguely resembling those of ponies.
>One is in better shape, but still bears two wounds that are far too familiar to you.
>Your stasis spell activates, slowing the flow of time around their mangled bodies.
>Your sister is the next to act.
>Finally, Twilight does her part.

>”I don’t know how to cast a stasis spell!”

“Then you are WORTHLESS!”
>The prince shies away, but offers no objection.
>You pump everything into your spell, nearly collapsing from exhaustion.

“How… How slow?”

>Twilight pants a bit before speaking.
>It appears she exerted herself too.

>“Not sure. That’s a lot of power. The temporal dilation must be massive, probably… a couple seconds per year? What happened to them? Who are they?”

>Do you trust these ponies?
>You owe Twilight a great deal...
>But you barely know her.
>No… this is absolute top secret.
>There is only one pony alive who you trust enough.

“Sparkle. Armor. Leave.”



>You try to grip them with your magic and push them out the door…
>But you’re too tired.

“What are you still doing here? GET MEDICS!”

>That did it.
>They scurry out, finally leaving you in private.

“Sister… meet the Shadowbolts.”

I remembered to update the paste this time.
This part was hard to write without a pre-reader. I'm not entirely certain how clear some things are; everything makes sense to me, but it can be hard to divorce what I know from what the reader knows. If anything doesn't make sense, please say so. I might clarify in this thread, but more likely I'll just go into more detail in a later update.
Bah. The Shadowbolts are supposed to have become visible again when Luna exhausted herself. See? I had trouble with this part.
BRB editing paste.
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The mother of me line's supposed to be part of the Luna and celestia conversation, right? I ask because the lack of spacing between it and Classified's part is tripping me up visually.
I'm surprised that the stealing of Anon's production didn't go unnoticed.

I think what Anon should have done / should do now was/is to send out a bunch of nanomachine observers to scour the area. The fact that Discord came should have made him understand that there is hostile wildlife and that he should catch their movements.
Yeah now that you mention it I'm kinda surprised he doesn't have something to check over his inventory, if only just to know what his supply limits are and not to see if anything is stolen. Then again maybe he does have something but he isn't checking how much he is using and he's assuming anything he's missing he spent building something
Yup. Funny, that's not even the kind of mistake I was worried about. That's probably why I missed it. Yup. Totally not that I'm just careless.

I'm confused. He noticed his mining had stopped last time, he just hasn't gone to check why because he's feeling too weak. Do you mean that he should know why the machines are offline? Those were the first things he built since landing, and they weren't even connected to his power grid. It seems reasonable to me that they'd not have much integration with his network. Am I misunderstanding the problem here?
I think that to covers and explains it, but would it not be possible for him to send a robot to go pick up his old mining equipment see if stopped because of damage?
Oh, that. It would make sense for him to have checked by now, but I wrote myself into a corner in that I'm relying on that discovery to prompt him to change tactics a bit. A better writer might have found a way around it, but you're stuck with me so Anon isn't allowed to know yet.
The building regarded as the world's first "skyscraper", Chicago's Home Insurance Building, was only ten stories tall.
Turns out it didn't have that many stories to tell.
You are terrible
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looking forward to that
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anon builds a droid army?

or maybe a Mann-droid army
When I read this, Anon reminds me of this song for some reason.
what about a terminator army?
Once again, robots prove themselves to be superior to magical creatures.
Especially smart mouthed magical creatures who Luna makes entirely too big a deal out of. I mean, jeez. It's like she thinks she invented spying or something.
... Well, maybe she did, but she doesn't have to be so up her own ass about it.
What did the robots do anyway? Clamp her to death?
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>What did the robots do anyway? Clamp her to death?
Pic related, its what I first thought of.
combat models with massdrivers i think.
a machine that bumps?

Yes. In the future, everything is accomplished with some variety of clamp.
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Androids in sci-fi are generally a sign of laziness. Authors can't be bothered to design something that makes sense, so they rely on something familiar. The human form is quite versatile, but it isn't really optimized for anything. Combat robots should be fliers as much as possible to maximize mobility. Furthermore, military robots that are expected to receive fire should be much blockier, placing as much vital machinery as possible in a heavily armored central location to maximize survivability without having to deal with the cost and weight of armoring everything. A 'head' is a terrible idea.
As are flat surfaces. As much as possible they should be angled surfaces to minimize the rate at which kinetic energy is transferred when they are hit. The idea is to deflect the shot more than withstand it.

I've never watched RotM. Is there a good reason why they have a lady android? Why would you want two designs? You'd need two factories!

Mass driver. I thought that was implied pretty well, since it's how his other weapons work. Plus, she was flying, and then Luna was familiar with the wounds. Did anyone else get confused by this? I specified in this update, just in case.

They're more than just spies. I'll explain later in the story, though I'm honestly not sure when.

Continuing from >>26062424

>You are still Luna.
>You are somewhat shaken.
>You wouldn’t have believed it if somepony, anypony had told you they’d found a shadowbolt.
>But here all three lay, clearly brutalised after multiple failed mission.
>You let out a quiet sob.
>They were relying on your magic, and you failed them!
>They pledged allegiance to you, and you got them killed!

>”You owe me a hundred-thousand bits.”

>Celestia snaps you out of your mania before it could set in.
>You can still feel the panic attack encroaching, but right now confusion is taking over.
>Confusion that must have been obvious, as Celestia elaborates.

>”The wager, remember? You’re getting off easy though. If memory serves bits were pure gold at the time.”

“Th- that was nearly two thousand years ago!”

>”I believe you said I’d never find a Shadowbolt in a million years. Two thousand is less than a million, yes?”

>You know what she’s doing.
>She doesn’t care about the money.
>She’s just trying to distract you long enough for you to calm down.
>It’s working.

>”But first is the more important issue. These wounds are familiar, just smaller. Perhaps a mobile version of the weapon that wounded us? I’m sorry, Luna. I am so so sorry. Odds are we can’t save them.”

“I won’t accept that.”

>”I know. We’ll keep them in stasis as long as we can, and hopefully we can find a way to mend them. Just… please don’t lose heart when the medics arrive.”

>She places a wing over your shoulder.

>”They won’t bear good news.”
>You are Anon.
>You are struggling not to vomit.
>You’ve been drinking highly nutritious slurry for the last few days.
>Three vials.
>You’re already feeling way better.
>Great for your health.
>But it wasn’t designed with flavour in mind.
>It was, however, designed with your blood tests in mind.
>Every dose is tailor made to meet your specific demands.
>Your body should have everything it needs to operate properly now.
>Everything except Lefty.
>You look at your stump with annoyance.
>You look at your stump with annoyance.
>The silvery sheen of your medical spray is starting to dull.
>The nanomachines are losing power.
>Some have fallen off, roughing the surface and robbing it of its mirror like shine.
>That’s okay though, they’ve done their duty.
>Now you need to make a replacement.
>Not out of anything so pedestrian as flesh or steel.
>No, you’re going with carbon allotropes.
>Nanotube structure, hyperdiamond plating…
>You sorta wish you had a sample of that black goo to test.
>For all you know, it’ll melt through this even faster than your own flesh.
>Maybe you could find something it wouldn’t react to.
>But for now, you’ll have to settle for being only ALMOST invulnerable.

“And now for the annoying part.”

>You need a microsurgery to properly connect your nerves…
>But there is a crude workaround you can manage.
>Your nerves are still sending signals to your missing appendage.
>You just need electrodes to pick up that signal.
>Then you can program your arm to interpret your mental commands into ‘muscle’ movements.
>It takes nearly an hour.
>It’s worth it though.
>Your new appendage is just as responsive as the last.
>Less about 25 microseconds.
>But you’re not satisfied.
>Why settle for being as good?
>You have plenty of nerves you’re not using.
>Like, when are you going to need to wiggle your ears?
>No reason why you shouldn’t add some functionality.
>You flare your nostrils and the plating on your forearm slides off to reveal a portable terminal.
>Not much of a computer on its own, but it’s connected to your mainframe.
>You can manage all your robots from the comfort of your own appendage.

“That’s weird…”

>Some of them aren’t responding.
>looks like three of the teams you sent out are down.
>The remaining one is going fine…
>You need to check in on that.
>But first, another vial of the vile slurry…

>Nothing’s coming out.
>Arm terminal says…
>No water pressure?
>Something’s weird here.
>All your mining goes offline at once, most of your away teams go offline despite being armed, and now you’ve got no water?
>Everything outside your base is down.
>Except your oil pumps.
>Oh come on!
>Your refinery’s not getting anything either!
>For so many things to break in such short order…
>It wasn’t unreasonable when it was just your mining, those deposits were running low anyway.
>But this is more than just that.
>All that can wait. You’ve got toys to test out.
>You take a moment to wire your appendage to your main power grid.
>It feels a bit weird to have an extension cable hanging from a power pole running into you.
>But it’s necessary for now.
>Your new arm CAN run off of your built in battery.
>But you want to test it at full power!
>You pick up a rock and grind it into fine powder.

“Less satisfying than I’d expected.”

>You turn to face the hill.
>Smoke is gently rising from the other side…
>Looks like that camp is still there.
>You raise your arm as the elbow hinges backward, exposing a barrel.
>You launch three rounds into the hill.
>Low velocity munitions sadly.
>Less than mach. The ammo for this is pretty heavy. The recoil was throwing you off balance.
>Three massive clouds of dust erupt from the hillside.
>Low velocity, high explosive.
>Thank you chem lab.
>Your forearm snaps back into position.
>You’ve got more toys to test.
>Your finger tips swing aside.
>Drill, spot welder, laser pointer…
>Your wrist swings open and a jet of plasma erupts forth.

“Hell yeah!”

>You swing your arm and cleave through a nearby boulder.
>You punch at yet another rock, then cut the plasma.
>A smoking hole runs clean through it.
>Your arm terminal chirps out an alarm.
>Looks like you were were starting to overheat.
>Looks like you can only use that for a couple seconds…
>Unless you tone down the heat, of course. Maybe two settings are in order?
>But is that really worth it? It’ll cool almost as quickly, after all.
>Decisions, de-

“De hell is that?”

>Heaps of black balls crest the peak separating you from the camp.
>Tens of thousands of them.
>Well, if the horses are sending them your way, you don’t want them.
>You use your terminal to order your cannons to open fire.
>Slugs slam into the balls which erupt into an electrical discharge.
>That’s different.
>A bit unorthodox.
>Sure, they could kill you.
>But it’s not exactly what you expected.
>Another volley of slugs strike, there are still way too many to count.
>But why electricity?
>There are much more direct ways to kill a person.
>And you could easily outrun this.
>You’re not in any danger.
>It’s a stupid way to try and…
>They’re not trying to kill you!

“Oh shit!”

>You quickly expose your grenade launcher and empty your arm.
>Nine more explosives scatter across the hillside.
>The electrical discharge is blinding, the thunder roaring louder than your own explosives.
>The hillside is unrecognizable after your assault.
>But hundreds of shock orbs are still coming your way.
>Another volley of shells hit home…
>But it’s not enough!
>Some of the orbs roll up to your turrets and detonate.
>Your arm terminal whines as half your defences go down.
>More of them make their way to your oil refinery, and a burst of lightning engulfs the building.
>Another alarm as the circuitry inside is fried.
>For an instant, you’re thankful your pumpjacks are offline.
>You don’t want flaming oil pouring everywhere.
>The last of the orbs seem to change course on their own, and slam into nearby robots.
>They burst, and of course, the bulk of your workforce goes offline.
>Thankfully, not all of them.
>All the orbs seem to be gone now.
>It’s going to take a while to repair all that.
>Rooting through the wreckage in the aftermath, it seems your power grid is unharmed.
>Surge protection is a good idea.
>With luck, everything should be online in a couple days.
>If you help, you can have your defences working again in… half an hour?
>Assuming the damage is limited to the replaceable parts.


>You recognize that laugh.
>You recognize that monster flying in!
>Could it be the same one?
>The three turrets still at your disposal open fire at the beast.
>As expected, it shrugs off the wounds, single mindedly moving toward you.
>No black goo this time?
>Does it have something else in mind?


>It charges straight at you, seemingly intent on tackling.
>You activate your new favorite weapon, and hold the plasma blade in front of you.
>The beast has a clear expression of shock as it slams into its doom.
>The two halves of the creature’s head sizzle as it slides through the plasma.
>It lays on the ground, seemingly dead.
>But you don’t trust it.
>You rush to your chem lab and grab another batch of grenades.
>You launch one into the corp-


>The shockwaves nearly ruptures your eardrums.
>The blast knocks your remaining robots off their feet.
>Your terminal doesn’t whine, apparently they’re still functional.

“That grenade had some extra… it wasn’t the grenade.”

>Your blast wasn’t supposed to be that big.
>No way your machines overcharged it.
>Something else had to help with the blast.
>Was the beast explosive?
>Was it going to blow itself up to kill you?
>You didn’t need to add kamikaze fliers to your list.


>For some reason, you suspect you haven’t seen the last of it.

>Better get busy.
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>You’re Luna again.
>It’s been three days.
>The medics gave up on your Shadowbolts almost the instant they saw them.
>You’re not sure what you’re going to do, but you’re going to do something.
>In the meantime, you’ve got other issues to worry about.
>You’ve managed to dodge most questions by saying it was a recon mission gone bad.
>Twilight’s suspicious, but she hasn’t pressed the issue.

>”Ladies and brother. I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve called you in today.”

>”Because the storm balls are ready?”

>”Oh for the love of- Shiney! You ruined all the dramatic tension! Yes, the storm balls are ready, and in position.”

>”We saw them atop the hill when we came here, Twilight. Your brother didn’t need to speak to ruin the surprise.”

>She pouts for a moment at the words.
>Looks like this was quite the let down.

>”But I had a whole speech planned out and everything!”

“You can still deliver it.”

>”No… it’s ruined now. Okay, look. They’ve all been charged with a spell to attract them to metal, so they should seek out the ape’s machines. When they come into contact with something sufficiently conductive, like metal, they should discharge on their own. Questions?

>”Indeed. What is the ape holding? It’s been fiddling with it for a while now.”

>The scrying spell shows it fiddling with some sort of prosthesis.

“‘Twould appear to be an artificial limb. Nothing special about that.”

>The digits move.
>The elbow bends.

“We’ve all seen such devices before.”

>”Magically powered.”

>Your sister is right.
>This is somewhat interesting.
>The side slips off to reveal a glowy box.
>You’d very much like to know the purpose of that.
>It presses a small button on the side of one of its constructs.
>Nothing happened.

>”What was that supposed to do?”
“It used to dispense a liquid of some sort, Armor. I know not the purpose, but its health started to recover fairly quickly when that structure was completed, so I suspect it is related to that.”

>The ape crushes a rock, to your surprise.

>”Pinkie can do that. That’s no big deal. Right?”

>Twilight sounds unconvinced by her own words.
>She seems to understand that the beast is literally growing stronger.
>It turns to face your camp.
>The front half of the appendage falls off!

“Ha! Such poor craftsponyship! If this is the best it can muster-”

>Three massive explosions ring out.
>The limb snaps back into shape.
>You are silent.
>Everypony is silent.
>The digits of the limb move aside, though you can’t quite see from your perspective what terrors hide behind them.
>And finally, its claws snap off, and a blade of angry purple light juts forth.
>It cleaves another rock, before impaling a third.

“That thing is becoming more dangerous every day. I’d rather not have any more delays. Are the preparations complete?”


“Then what are we waiting for? Attack!”

>Twilight’s horn glows for an instant.
>You can see by the scrying table that the balls are falling into the beast’s encampment.
>It seems to notice quickly.
>Its arm slides open again.
>Moments later, the stationary weapons starts firing.
>The orbs detonate when struck.

>”Don’t worry, I anticipated that. That’s why we have so many, it can’t hit them all. I hope.”

>Another round of shots, another round of ruined balls.
>But their numbers are still overwhelming.
>The ape raises its prosthesis.
>And fires a volley of explosions into the hillside!

>”Though I might not have anticipated THAT. Oh look! It didn’t get them all!”

>She’s right!
>Many balls strike home.
>The afflicted machines cease moving, wisps of smoke rising from them.
>The damage appears quite widespread!
>But not universal.
“An impressive effort. Not the decisive victory we were hoping for, but this marks our first successful attack on the beast’s encampment. I must-”


>”Twily, did you coordinate this with Discord?”

>”No, I haven’t heard from him in a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was waiting for an opportunity, though.”

>He shrugs off several blows, charging straight at the ape.


>”Perhaps this whole ugly business is concluded?”

>Your sister is too optimistic.
>The light blade emerges, and cleanly cleaves Discord.
>He lay on the ground, motionless.


“He’s fine, Twilight.”

>You and your sister answer in unison.

>”Well, we had some success today. Discord’s attack was a bit underwhelming, but we managed to seriously damage the machinery.”

>A massive explosion rings out.
>You didn’t need the scrying table to hear it.


“Still fine.”

>Again, you answer in unison.

>”As I was saying, Twilight’s method worked far better than anything else we’ve tried so far. Which is mostly nothing. Let’s get a repeat of that, shall we? My away teams should be back soon with reports on the remaining harvesting structures, the ones that look like pumps. If we’re lucky, the only things it will have left are the ones we see here, and most of them seem to have stopped working. We’ve got it backed into a corner, let’s keep up the pressure!”

>What he said is true…
>But you can’t shake a feeling of dread.

That's it. >>26075702 pic related is what I straight up stole for the plasma blade. The blade is nitrogen plasma though, so it's purple.

My keyboard kept changing languages to french. I think I caught all the errors that caused, but I might have missed some.

Was it worth describing the attack from both perspectives? They each reacted differently, but it's a bit redundant. Thoughts?
Any reason why anon hasn't built a coal or gas/oil fired power plant yet? there has to be subterranean water available.hell, why not a crude nuclear plant? a breeder reactor could be used for weapons too.
Remember how terminators are also infiltrators? That's why they also have female models. Also I'm pretty sure Skynet has several factories, they are fighting all of humanity across the entire world.

Also another spacing issue in >>26075665 where the line ”They won’t bear good news.” is a part of the Anon text.
Or hell, if theres's no water coolant why not a VHTR GFR?



after all, it seems he could make the gasses easily enough.
Has anon done anything in the way of erecting walls or trenches. There's obviously some intelligence behind the attacking force. So why not have the workers erect walls with point defences.
I personally liked showing both viewpoints however I think I would have prefered it showed in the opposite order.

Go from Luna and Celestia in the tent talking about the Shadowbolts
Transition to Luna's viewpoint of the battle
Then finish on Anon section.

Part of this is because you put the "It's been three days" line makes it feel like it takes place three days after the attack at first. Another reason is that the way the pony pov is written it feels like Anon's state is a lot more dire (due to not knowing his condition after the explosion and them stating that his machinery has stopped working), but it feels a bit undercut because in Anon's part we know he's fine and that his defenses will be up in about a half hour while the rest of the machines should be easy to get back up in a few days

Admittedly you lose a bit of dramatic irony with the ponies thinking they got a strong upper hand/hoof but I would rather the update end on the reveal that Anon's fine and can get back into the fight.
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Whenever Discord gets violently injured and the princesses assure Twilight that he's alright I'm immediately reminded of pic related
>Purple blade.
I've gots to defend the Saints.
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When I hear purple plasma blade I think of Mace Windu first.
>>You look at your stump with annoyance.
>>You look at your stump with annoyance.
>The stump will remember this
Can't wait for Anon to finally kill Discord and everyone collectively shits out their internal organs.
That truly would be glorious
maybe some sort of psionic disruptor to disable their magics?