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Princess Applejack
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 504
Thread images: 28
Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.

The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:


>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."


Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.

Thread 117, and we're off to the beach, because of course we're going to the beach in the middle of winter, it only makes sense!
1 https://archive.today/f0oQ3
2 https://archive.today/dI35Q
3 https://archive.today/o0ktE
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29 https://archive.today/EP1S2
30 https://archive.today/0rb3f .5 version here https://archive.today/Y5NYc
31 https://archive.today/ONFET
32 https://archive.today/MpCy9
33 https://archive.today/Cqdkc
34 https://archive.today/tts5W
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45 https://archive.today/42Hp9
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47 https://archive.today/Eh4Jl
48 https://archive.today/siDSi
49 https://archive.today/VFpsr
50 https://archive.today/kh6Md
51 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
100. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100
107. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161
109 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25529408
110 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25616096
111 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25673487
112 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25717170
113 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25779356
114 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25832901
115 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943
116 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25941085

Here is full archive of ALL the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:

Curious what happened last time, or just wanna know what happens during an active thread?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25941085
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :

We have begun working on a big project to fix up old stories and make this crazy world more coherent and accessible to new readers who don't like the thread format.
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
Well, that one's new.
I don't know if this is amazing or just fucking hilarious.
>AJ is boring because she doesn't get the suffering stick but Chrysalis does

I mean Chrysalis is the bad guy, the antag, the one what makes things bad.

So y'know, s'deserved
Figured I'd do something different.
Hoo boy, here we go again~!
Can't say it wasn't unique!
With the filename, it looks like AJ popped out of the orange.

Try to wrap your head around that one.
As always, Applejack is the only one pointing out the stupidity of it all.

>...Applejack? I have a question.

"Wow, this is... friggen weird."

>Am I going too fast?

"No no, you keep on like ya'll were doin', Ah'll... adjust."

>Yes, well... I have just been wondering, did you ever have to file any paperwork when you were made a princess?


>Just something to make it official, is all I wonder. Is that a process? Twilight didn't mention signing anything, but you'd think that would be one of the most important things, right?


>For that matter, were we given any land or anything when we became royalty? Twilight remained around Ponyville, does she... oversee that? Is this a regional thing? How does this work?


>For that matter, do our families get ascended status, or-



"We're on vacation."

>...But... this seems like something important-



"Va. Ca. Tion."

>...Oh, I suppose it'll wait till I get back.

"That's better... was two friggen seconds from jumpin' off this thing."

>...But what about-

Pinkie Preview Prophecy

>Mane 6 kill some time by passing around a shake weight.
>Spike is not sure if he wants to fap to this.
>Pinkie taught DT and Cadence well.
>Celestia is still an annoying big sister.
>Luna shares some moon cheese.
>Berry Punch likes to feel loved.
>The Crusaders find out it's not Lupus.
>Fun in the sun fanservice!
>First post goes to Rarity
>It's a "Gotta Question' comedy one.


Notice no Spike in there....
I'mma just say, I wish we had given Spike more Shiny moments, which is less "He's useful and totally a cool fighter and all that" and more "Look at them cuddle and talk and have all that chemistry, they're adorable!"

Maybe this arc is a good time to fix that, as Spike is really lacking in genuine heartfelt moments.
God I hope so
Spike's at a bit of a disadvantage because unlike Shiny, he has to prove he's actually useful, Shiny you just assume is a little capable, but Spike has to be built up because he's already dirt low in the show.

That said, yes, I hope we get some Spike/AJ moment with like... emotions and stuff, well written emotions.

Like the Celly/SA or recently Chrysalis/SA stuff, that stuff is really damn good. The dialog, the chemistry, the back and forths, I feel it, and it makes me like seeing these characters together more, I'd like something like that from Spike.
Someone better, because I can't provide two way character dynamics at all
As the guy who wrote a lot of the Celestia/SA things(but not that recent one), uh...

I can't write Spike.

At all.


Just, can't write him. I try, and all the dialog comes out so unnatural and forced, I've deleted THREE five-part stories because I was like "This is so fake." He is my "One character". You know, that one character you just plain can't get a hold of. He is that to me. I wish it wasn't so, but it is.

I can't write Spike.
congratulations, you could join the show staff and no one would notice the difference!
Hey, that's not true, he said he tried.











Should we make overtures to the fanfic general for help?
...Jeeeeeeesus we are real desperate aren't we?
>AJ considers trying to use her magic some more, but keeps getting interrupted.
>88 continues her wild trek, following the mole Clay into a weird underground city, where he takes her to meet the mysterious 'Birdie', who oversees it all.
>But when the group arrives in the stalactite that houses her, they find that unlike what you would expect, she's not a bird at all! She's a pony!
>More specifically, CANARY GEM! She's the one who 88 replaced when she awoke after being taken over, and Canary is none to happy about it, attempting to kill her with a trap door!
>...But 88 can fly.
>So, instead, a fierce battle begins between the two while Lavan and Clay look on! Their anger keeping them going while Raging on!
>And on... and on... and on... and on... and- we'll come back to that one later.
>Two notices all the Crystal Ponies marching and bugs Cadence about it.
>56 continues his time with Jetset while making his way to the castle, noticing it looks quite weird from here.
>But, before they can make it, they are confronted! By none other than... A CHANGELING...Just a changeling infiltrator, not named yet.
>They say they're going to take 56 to the Empire, but he's having none of that! He kicks that ling right between the legs... and it turns out it's a mare.
>Even Jetset calls Bullshit.
>A battle begins with 56 struggling not to be caught so he may reach the castle and find the Common Room, but just when all seems lost, he is saved by none other than the Nightgard Captain herself with a dynamic kick! Mourning Star!... Who's real name is Potsticker, but she felt that was not befitting a night gaurd.
>She brings Jetset and Harshwhinny up to date with the goings on, and then realizes she's made a terrible mistake when she finds out the changeling she just beaned in the head wasn't an invader...
>And is pissed.
>SA helps Chrysalis make it to the train station to meet the others, and all watch with bated breath for them to arrive! Chrysalis's eyes go narrow, and she hungers for-
>...It turns out Shining forgot to turn off the shield for Twenty Nine, and terrible things have happened.
>After that mess, AJ and Chrysalis confront each other, and bicker like AJ was her roomate and she brought back a scratched CD, instead of foes. The others are not complaining.
>Chrsysalis asks her to take the changelings back to the Stadium, as she's not up to talking to them right now because of rockpunchrealted reasons, and AJ agrees, both leaving amicably.
>While doing so, AJ is confronted by the changeling with the potted plant, who asks her if this is the end, since there's no room in the Empire for his plant with all the land taken. AJ assures him, and insists if there's no land here, he'll have to set out and find it, wherever he can to let his plant grow.
>And she's gonna help him.
>Back at the train, Pommel, 32 and 77 are helping the now slightly depressed 29, who will not blink. He just won't.
>In helping him, they have him run over by rampaging ponies, dropped in front of a train, and then face down in a fountain.
>They are not good at this.
>But Sweet Note is having fun with Chitania and 13 and having a ball in the Empire, that's nice.
>While walking away with Chrysalis, Shining is confronted by his entire populace, who all have something to say.
>And that is that it's a very special, totally not made up holiday! Yep! This absolutely real and in no way made up so they can have Shining and co out of the castle holiday is how the CE ponies show their royals how good a job they're doing by sending them all on a trip, and if they did a good job they go to a nice place! That makes sense!

>This holiday that is SO REAL means all the upper CE government get the time off, so everyone has to go! Everyone! Including Chrysalis who they are including to show they consider her one of them and totally for zero other reasons! It's so real!
>Having no choice, Shining humors them, and decides to take the time off, thinking they just need some time to assure themselves their royals can be trusted.
>It takes some convincing, but he gets Cadence and Chrysalis to agree to go, with the others including Celestia needing no argument.
>Pinkie seemingly gets impatient as one by one the main six arrive to get on the train, but it always turns out to be something else.
>Until the end, that is, when it turns out she was being impatient. Huh.
>Long story short, she got a hearshy kiss, and now it she and the other four traveled to the Empire on Centitrain and picked AJ up... yep.
>Fancry begins his investigations! First off hiring some assistants. Such as a Mrs and Mr Hackaway.
>Who are totally not 12 and Screwloose.
>He is then called down to the cells, where he is spoken to by Flim and Flam, who try to pitch their sorting machine to speed up his search. It's good in theory, not so much when they realize they can't get it out of the cell
>Their breakdown realizing is interrupted when a certain someone is found in the castle, someone who scrams "SPIDER NOISES!" a lot.
>Arana and Blueblood are questioned, and it's determined they're officially POI thanks to where Arana lives and what she's capable of.
>So, despite the fact they're terrified with her, she's rooming with flim and flam!
>32 tells Chrysalis all about the new ally he's made!... And the fact he let Lavan take 88 to restore her sight.
>When 77 goes to tell Chrysalis he's okay, she is using him like a basketball, and 77 is not mad.
>BUT! 32 convinces them both to give Lavan a chance, and if she does not return, Chrysalis can punish him however she wishes, but if he does, Chrysalis has to provide a cake... that 77 and Chrysalis has to make.
>Nobody remembers Actarius, except 41 and SP... who punch him.
>Applejack does not question it when the other main five and Spike arrive, and have her bags all packed and ready for a trip.
>She just gets on the fucking Centitrain.
>Chrysalis tells the changelings not to fuck up.
>After finishing packing, Shining, Cadence, Two Chrysalis, 18, 42, Spitfire, Sombra and Mane-Iac all head out to the train station!... Two gets a hold of the controls.
>This isn't going to end well.
>But, left behind, all the changelings and Crystal ponies aren't sure what to do at first, giving each other a stare down for a little bit as they assess the other.
>Then they realize their royals are gone.
>And decide to party.
>...it's gonna be fun.

Wow, this was REALLY disjointed and hard to keep in a straight cohesion for the recap, so if I missed something oh god I'm sorry but all the scrolling up and down is not healthy for me.

Set a good example for the new year and take it easy on me.
It occurs to me...is Chrysalis actually going to have to legit say 32 was right about something?

And not just mindzotz him after so he forgets?
Psh, I want some Sparijack.
>Fanfic general
In other words, you want us to make Spike the prince of all dragons who goes out on a journey randomly and comes back an untouchable badass.

Next you'll be telling me we should make Trixie be Luna's student... wait.
You got better ideas, Johnny High-Horse?

How about we just make him a changeling? Then the reeeeeal writers will get ahold of him and the situation will resolve himself.
>Next you'll be telling me we should make Trixie be Luna's student... wait.

...has 29 guy ever written for Spike? Like... ever?

Don't ask me why I'm asking this.
Probably in one of the ghostkids things, but I can't remember off the top of my head, I wrote a lot of those. Wh-
>Don't ask me why I'm asking this.
Well shit, now I'll just sit over here and be confused I guess!
>You got better ideas, Johnny High-Horse?

Make him the straight-guy?

We wanted to have AJ be less of that anyway, someone needs to take over.
Can someone in the know give me an overview which characters are now beach-trip confirmed?

And maybe which characters are tied up where in general? It gets so confusing whenever I feel like writing for a character I haven't written for before.

>Ce crew consisting of Shining, Cadence, Two Chrysalis, 18, 42, Spitfire, Sombra and Mane-Iac are heading out to the Beach right now

>Main Six and Spike are also on their way there right now presumably(Neither destination is confirmed yet, they're just in transit.) riding on Centitrain.

>13, Chitania, 41, 77, 32 and 29 are in the Crystal Empire with the rest of AJ's lings
>As are Sunset, Pommel and the five other guards + Daw.

>88 is currently in Fucked-Up-Wonderland with Lavan.

>MM, Zecora and Trixie are back at Ponyville, as is Cheerliee.

>56 is with Jetset, Harshwinny and Nightguard Captain outside of Canterlot Castle, fighting Changeling-mare-who-looks-like-a-dude

>DT and SS are in Canterlot.

>PJ is MIA

>7 is hiding out in the woods

>Arana and Blueblood are with Flim and Flam.

>55 is still in Apploosa.

Anybody I missed?
>Anybody I missed?

>Celly is on the train with the CE Crew
>Luna ran off somewhere.
Thank ye kindly. Now let's get these typing fingers warmed up. New Year Hype!
> Spike isn't that hard to write, just don't ask the show writers.

>He's more mature than he lets on, or should be. Sarcastic, snarky especially with Twilight when they have a chance to play off one another. I prefer to write him as annoyed when others just assume he's a little kid simply because he's a 'baby' dragon. Likely very knowledgeable about magic while not being to do it himself. Likes pranks, generally carefree when not put on the spot.

>His conflicts are generally stemming from the contrast of his seeming young age and occasional bouts of immaturity and wanting to be seen as just as adult as the rest of the main cast. There are a lot of in-canon ways to play with this. One that I am surprised isn't used more is the idea that dragons grow with their hoard. Spike may gather up a small hoard in order to make himself grow, sacrificing his apparent childhood as a way to be more useful, or to catch Rarity's attention.
>Well shit, now I'll just sit over here and be confused I guess!

Oh, shit, that was such a fast response I missed it.

Anyway, only reason I asked was because of this>>26009544

It's just... that's kinda how 29 is, being sarcastic and full of himself and egotistical, as is Trixie, but I DON'T find either of them unbearable, is the thing. They're both characters who are like that, but usually you write them in a way that not only can I bear them, they're actually funny.

Was hoping for a reference to see if you did the same with Spike is all.
See? Sometimes an outside perspective helps.
Ok cool

So, how would you write him away from a very edgy characterisation?

Anonymous 01/06/16(Wed)03:38:59 No.26010175 ▶
>>26010151 (You)

Depending on the premise, I suppose a few ways. I guess I'd go with being more reluctant in direct conflict unless sufficiently motivated. Protecting his friends and those he cares about are the big ones.

If he's got a reason to go all out, he will. He's not edgy at all, the show seems to show he's pure-hearted in a naive sort of way. So basically the opposite of edge, which is better anyway.
I have no problem writing for Spike, but I haven't written any canon stories in ages.
>. I guess I'd go with being more reluctant in direct conflict unless sufficiently motivated.

Well, shit, that's not helpful. He's already supergung-ho in the rest of the thread.

>ne that I am surprised isn't used more is the idea that dragons grow with their hoard.
Show canon contradicts this, saying that he goes crazy if he grows up just a little bit. Him going to pony size alone made it impossible for him not to hoard, and he didn't lose his hoard when he snapped out of it and shrunk, he was still holding it and Rarity when he did, which means his growth is a state of mind, not based on how much stuff he has, and is reversible.

It's just hard to write that when that's essentially a hulk-state that doesn't make him want to fight, just steal shit.
In house please. The way we started. Despite popular belief, it's not hard to write Spike.
>that non canon turned canon story of Spike playing Russian Roulette with Mayor Mare
That was a good'n.
Huh... never really thought about writing for him. Not anything against him, just never had an idea
Well, why the fuck not!?

>Alright, we're coming up to a stop off... anybody want anything? I'm going in for some hard candy, you guys want me to pick up something in there?

"Sure, can you get me some of those twisty sticks while you're in there?"

>Can do! Anyone else?

'Nah, I'm good!'
[Ah'm fine sugar cube.]
{None for me thanks.}
~Um... I'm good.~

>Well, alright!


>Alriiiight! Here's your candy, here is my candy, and we are ready to go!

'OH! Before we leave, can you go get me a chocolate bar?'

>I... I already asked and you said no.

'I didn't want it then.'

>...fine! Just fine, always happy to help!


>Boom! Chocolate bar for the pink madam!

'Thanks, Spike! You're the best!'

>Aw, shucks. Okay! We ready to go?

[Oh, shoot, they got apple slurpees in there!? Hot dog! Ain't never seen a place that has 'em! Spike, ya' mind hoppin' off and goin' and gettin' me one.]


[Didn't see it, is all, sorry!]

>...It's okay! It's okay, because I am here to help, and I like helping, and I am getting you that slurpee!

[Thanks, Sugar Cube!]


>And, something for the lady!

[Awww, that was sweet of you! Owe ya' one, Spike!]

>And it was all worth it. Welp, now let us head off to-

{Well, now I'm thirsty.}


{I wasn't when we started, but this has taken forever!}

"It has been really long... you mind?"

>...NOPE! Nope I do not mind, because I am Spike, and I am the Number One assistant, and that means I do the number one job every time! What can I get you?

{Sweet Tea, please!}

>Yes! Yes I will do that, I will go do that, but before I go, just ONE MORE TIME, does ANYBODY want ANYTHING else!?

"...Nope, looks like we're good."





{Oh, thank you Spikey Wikey!}


>Kisses! That makes everything better! That makes it all better! ALRIGHT! For the last time, it is time! To! Go!

~Wait, we can't!~


~Um... that's okay.~


~...Dash isn't out of the bathroom yet...~



>...Ahem. I um....


>...I have dropped my hard candy, and feel like getting myself some more, I'll be right back.

"Oop! Too late, Dash is here, it's time to head out!"


"You don't have to be loud about it, you can get some at the next stop!"

{Have a little patience, darling!}

(What's his problem?)

'He wants some candy.'

(Awww, no worries little guy! I'll go grab one for you lickety split!)



"Much! Thank you, Dash. Isn't that right, Spike?"


'Hey, maybe we should make you number one assistant!'

(As if!)


"Ohhh, this is so fun... well! Time to g-Spike! Stop playing with Charity and get strapped in, we're leaving!"

(Move it, slowpoke!)

>...I'll burn it all to the ground one day... all to the ground...
>Are we still doing the Widow's regret Reunion or just leaving Pom Pom, Daw, and the Guards?
>Is 29 anon going to do anything with MM and co or are they just going to get high until this all blows over?
>Can we at least have a throw away line that SOMEONE gave the guard orders before leaving?
>Doesn't Sunset have to go to her cell since her parole officers are all gone? Or are we just poofing her with the CE crew?
>Is the person who planned on coming up with a reason for DT to show up still doing it?
>Are we going to have the crystal Pones interact with Chitty (who saved their lives) or Sunset (who almost killed them all)?
>I think you missed Screwloose and 12 who somehow (Power of crazy) got onto Fancy's investigation.
>PJ is fucking off in the woods for this arc
>>Are we still doing the Widow's regret Reunion or just leaving Pom Pom, Daw, and the Guards?
That's up to if someone wants to do the reuninion or not. If so, he has the excuse and the reasons to leave, and Daw and Pommel are together, the setup is there.
>>Can we at least have a throw away line that SOMEONE gave the guard orders before leaving?
Sure, if you want? I don't have anything, and AJ was abducted.
>>Doesn't Sunset have to go to her cell since her parole officers are all gone? Or are we just poofing her with the CE crew?
No, and no. She's barred from the castle and she doesn't have 'parole officers', she was walking around unsupervised before she met up with AJ and the lings in Canterlot(before the loveletter business), you can do whatever you want to her, since she has reasons to go and reasons to stay, it's all just if you want her at the beach or not.
>>Are we going to have the crystal Pones interact with Chitty (who saved their lives) or Sunset (who almost killed them all)?
Sounds fun.
>>I think you missed Screwloose and 12 who somehow (Power of crazy) got onto Fancy's investigation.
He did miss that, but Recap anon did not. Even got their names, the glorious bastard.
>PJ is fucking off in the woods for this arc
...Is that a suggestion, or... I don't know what you're doing with that one.

Other two questions will be answered by who you're asking.
>Is 29 anon going to do anything with MM and co or are they just going to get high until this all blows over?

No, they're leaving Ponyville. Haven't decided if I'm sending them to the beach or not, but I AM using this opportunity to change their normal scenery. That's why there was that one story with MM getting investigated too, she's not held down in Ponyville right now and if she's going after 29(She is) then the others are going too. I am considering beach though for... reasons... story reasons...

Just as soon as I stop having fun hurting 29...
PJ thing was more throwing in the blanket built in explanation that PJ has for being MIA at any time. She fucks off to the woods randomly.
Also thanks for the Sunset update, thought the only reasons she got out was AJ.
Pommel wrote standing orders for the guard and Daw delivered them
Kek, awesome.

Kinda makes me want to do a different version of the Where do you want to eat? story.
That was the unnamed guard back in Canterlot, I meant the named guys that had nothing to do after deliver Changelings.
I think he means AJ gave the CE guards, the ones IN the CE not the... you know who I mean, Haymaker and the others. She gave them, or didn't give them, orders before fucking off.
Yup. It's just that easy but I know it's in our nature to over dramatize a lot of stuff in this series.
>PJ thing was more throwing in the blanket built in explanation that PJ has for being MIA at any time. She fucks off to the woods randomly.

She has a legit excuse this time too.

>OH SHIT! Canterlot is hot! Better lay low until the heat dies down. Survival and all that...
>>Are we going to have the crystal Pones interact with Chitty (who saved their lives) or Sunset (who almost killed them all)?

Oh fuck, now I want to see this, just to watch them keep treating Chitty like she's her comic book self.
Huh, not bad.

Maybe do some more, you managed to make me like 29 and get angry every time a certain SOME FUCKER doesn't give him his hugs, could work for Spike. Not trying to force it on you if you don't wanna write him, though. That's not fair. Not like I'm gonna write Spike, so it would be pretty shitty to ask the same of another writer.

"Aaaaaand OPEN!"


"Oh, well this is suggestive."

'Get...your...fat...ass...offa me!'

>No! Not until...you give up!


>Then...we'll look silly for the rest of eternity.

-Should I get a boombox with a Marvin Braye tape?-



>Just...tell me...where my eyes are, damn it!

'Why should I!? You stole...my life!'


'Bullshit that's bullshit!'

"I have no context for this."

'She masqueraded as me...for who knows how long...with that mushroom pulling the strings!'

"Suddenly the motif of the valley makes sense. Clarity, this pleases me."

>That's the thing, the mushroom WAS pulling the strings! I was a damn hoof puppet!

-Technically a marionette.-

>Details! Point is, I had no say in any of it!

'Sure you didn't.'

>I didn't!

'You didn't drown yourself and floated your bloated little carcass on down that underground river to Cordyceps land?'


'Face facts, you idiot, you caused it all, you decided you didn't want to live anymore, and you left your little brother alone because you. Gave. Up.'


'Now get the hell off me.'


'Sheesh, should have said that a lot sooner, would have freed you up for a lot more efficient ass kicking. It's what you deserve. You ruined my life.'


'What was that, you what?'


'Out with it.'

>I'm sorry...

'Bet you are, and you should be. You nearly condemned the world to die and those eyes of yours were the price for coming out the other side. Now here you are trying to get your sight back and you didn't think there'd be a price for that too?'

>...no, no I knew deep down it was going to be something...granted not this, but something.

'Good, now...'

Trot trot trot thumpf.

"Ooh, nice chair."


'You're going to convince me why I should help you.'
I don't know why, but the fact you he is floating there being so confused is somehow the best part of that.
Sorry if this is getting a bit heavy, I swear it's just minor speed bump.

I'm mostly just trying to motor through this so I can focus on super happy fun times.
It's fine, I was waiting for this anyway
G'night thread
Good morning sleepy pinky
And good morning to you
"Hi and welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your co-host Princess Cadence and the pinks! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we're the best part of waking up!"

>...why are you doing my opener?

"Because you said I could during our last meeting."

>...I feel like I would have known if I said something like that.

'Was this a secret meeting because I would have said something if I knew about it.'

"It was a regular club meeting. Remember?"

"Ayy PPo. What up?"

>Heeey it's Princess C. What's good?

"I see you there D-Titty. How's my homegirl doing?"

'Gurl you know how it is. Making the money and being sexy with my sexy. Hows you hanging?'

"Oh you know, been busy running my crew and crib. Things have been busy yo. Just trying to make things better. You know what I'm saying?"


"P-Piddy, could you hook me up and let me do the opener?"


"C'mon. We should all be your co-host. We'd be good at it I swear."

'Yo we got history, PPo. You owe us a little something something fo' dragging us wit ya so many times. Know what I'm saying?'

>Ooooh alright you got a point there, Lil D. Okay you can do da opener.

"Thanks, D-Titty. Did you want to do the opener instead?"

'Shiat, ain't no thang. Go ahead. Just doing a solid for my grill. You're practically the smart big sis that I could look up to. Know what I'm saying?'

"Gurrl, I know exactly what you're saying."

~End Flashback~

>...I guess that's what happened?

'...was I high or something? I feel like I said things that I normally wouldn't say.'

"Nope, that's what happened."

>Huh...well, don't expect it to be a permanent thing because I'll be doing the opener from now on.

'Wait, that's not fair. I should get a turn too.'

>Right, okay fine. Let's just do this.

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one...'

>And I'm the crazy one!!! ...Oh we ran out of time. Oh well, sleep well everypony!
>Return of Blingee vision

My life is complete now
I've been so patient, and it finally happened...


>You're sitting so still...


>I... I'm actually a little unnerved here.


>Two? Honey? You okay?


>You're just... you're not moving, at all.


>Did you stroke out? Tell me you didn't have a stroke or something.




>GAH!... It's like... I feel electricity in there! I feel like you skin is electrified!


>...Y-you're going to... explode when we get there, aren't you?

"...Almost there, Shiiiinnnnyyyyyyy..."

>...You're sitting next to Not-Mom when we arrive.


The beast below them screeched, herded on as if her words had inspired it to push harder. The speed of the world around them picked up, wing whipping their open hair as more power was fueled into each of the hundred legs, and the electricity that arced around them carried them on faster, and faster.

They had left the rails behind, gone off the tracks without a care so long ago they scarcely remembered it, or even acknowledged it. They were racing, with all they had. Where to, only one of them could say.

Or maybe she couldn't say, she was crazy like that.

"Alright, taking all bets."

'I bet ten bis we're just going to her parents house or something.'

[Fifteen that it's another amusement park.]

{Oh, um... maybe it's a nice hotel?}

(Ah'll beat all of you, and lay fifty on the table it's another Partyland.)

~Don't even joke about that, mare!... But I'm so going in on that, fifty as well.~

'You're too young to be gambling.'

~Not too young to burn your ass!~

'Yes, you are. That would be illegal somewhere.'

~I'm willing to take the jailtime.~

'I meant me beating up a minor would probably be illegal.'

~No courts out here I can see! Bring it-~

A magical double slap stopped both of that.

'...Friggen stupid powers.'

"Awesome powers, you mean."

~I'm telling Celestia you're abusing your powers.~

"And I'll tell her what I'm using them for, and she'll give me a medal."

(She will too, Ah've seen it.)

{Do you suppose we're going somewhere with some new kinds of animals? I haven't gotten to have any real time with my animals in a while.}

[Then what on earth have you been doing?]


[Uh huh...]

'Look out everyone, Rarity is looking to reveal something else-'

What followed was not a slap.

It was a crack.


"Gonna stop?"


"Not ruining the trip?"


"Good girl.'

The silence that followed was nothing short of deafening.







"...Hey, Pinkie, are we-"


They would have expected more of a warning before the train jumped into the air, had they been fools. As it was, they simply grabbed on to the nearest thing that could be gripped and held on as they flew through the air.

And flew... and flew... and flew....

>So, did you guys see the hoofball game last week? What an upset!

~I thought it was stupid, the ref totally shouldn't have called a foul in the last quarter.~

>Well, you think that, because you're wrong.

~I am not!~

>I can prove it.


The flying then stopped.

For six of them, at least. One poor fool who's claws had gone up into the air in exasperation found his flight did not end when the rest of the groups did.

His flight ended a short time later, just a bit harder than theirs did.

>Would a right dragon currently be headfirst in the sand? Didn't think so!


Ignoring the grumbling and flailing limbs for a second, they found that, sure enough, there was sand.

A lot of sand.

And water. Lots and lots of water.


>Welcome to SUNNY PARTY BEACH! This is where we're having fun!

[Why... here?]

It certainly didn't look like much. The sand was nice and all, but it was also rather barren, to put it simply.

>Because this is my auntie's cousin's cabin! Isn't it great!

She pointed, looking quite proud, but all anyone could see was a tiny little wooden structure, looking more like a lifeguard's storage house than anything.

(...Is it behind the shack?)

>What shack?

Their hearts did not stop sinking for a little bit.


"Which room?"

>You'll know... cause there's only two, it'll be hard to miss.

And sinking, and sinking, and sinking.


The enthusiasm did nothing, for once, as they all hopped down.

It was only watching her slightly deflate that finally pushed them to act, before her precious dreams were crushed.


"Well, at least we're all together!"

'Yeah! That's something!'

[Friendship and all that, darling!]

{It'll be fun, I'm sure!}

(Can't be any worse than back home.)

>Great! That's the spirit!... Bye Centitrain!

'Wait! Where's she going!?'

The thing screeched, all of it's legs moving in perfect tandem as it turned around, and tore off. Several of them tried to follow, instinctively, but it was too late. The sand created a perfect cloud that made following her impossible, and soon even the screeches of her electricity was gone, leaving only silence.

>She's not staying, silly! She's a train! She'll come pick us up when it's time to go home!

(That was... awfully fast, ya'll ain't just doin' this so we can't run, are you?)



>No chance!


>...Bye Centitraiiiin!

'Uh, Pinkie, think you jumped the gun a bit.'

>Nope! Cause we're all on the beach, and we're going to have a beach party! Fun in the sun! Wooo! No worries, no more running off in every direction, we're all right here, all together, and we're gonna have fun, just like old times!

"That isn't the issue, it's-"

>Nowhere to go now, let's parrttyyy! Oh! I know! Let's play volleyball... huh, where's my...

Slowly, the realization came to her, just as it had all the others a second ago.

>...All our bags are still on Centitrain, aren't they?

The silence was all the answer she needed.


Slowly, they all realized that, for better or worse... they were stuck here.

No telling which way civilization was, no telling which way to a hotel or store, no nothing. They were all on their own, alone.

With Pinkie Pie.

And she wanted to party.

"...So is someone gonna help Spike out of the sand, oooorrr...."

>No time for that, let's get settled in!

She grabbed them, all of them at the same time somehow, and their worst fears were confirmed.

It was going to be a long trip.
>Pinkie took them out to a remote location just so they couldn't run off and go do their own thing.

...That's adorable. Creepy, but adorable.
"Crystal Pony"

"Wow, looks like your um... friend is having fun."



"...Can you sign my comic book?"

>Fuck off.


>That's your response, really?


>What do you want?!

"Are you Titania?"


"Are you? You don't act like Chitania, you act like Titania does, she's mean."


"No you don't, you're supposed to be all... cool."

>Don't tell me how I'm supposed to act! I know how I'm supposed to act!

"Well, you're acting like Titania does.... can you turn your skin to titanium?"

>What the fuck are you even talking about!?

"Well, can you? Titania can do that."


"Can you?"


"Oh... why not?"

>What the fuck do you mean, why not!? You see us changelings just running around changing our skin to fucking metal!?

"No, but why?"

>Because, oh, I don't know, it's not organic!

"Neither is hair."


"Hair isn't organic, it's dead skin cells."

>... It's different!

"Wasn't Queen Chrysalis disguised as Princess Cadence? So... she was wearing a crown, right?"


"I'm just saying, if you guys can shapeshift so you feel like ponies and not changelings, doesn't that mean you can change how your skin feels?"


"Why can't you do metal stuff, then?"

>...Because shut up.

"No, really, what's the reason?"

>I'm done talking to you.


>Shut up.


"...Are you looking at your hoof because of-"

>Shut up.

"You're kind of mean."

>Just give me the fucking comic book to sign.



"See, she gets it."

>I wanna go back to the library...
Hey, at leas there's no risk of a Partyland situation.
Yah, put the explosion next to the injured one when you have bubbles to protect yourself. Good looking out Shiny
It's an explosion of love, though.

Yep, pretty smart, isn't he?

Gonna have that bitch fixed in a flash.
Because Love Magic explosions can be absorbed by her. That's why she has ruled Canterlot for the last 3 seasons.

But 2 isn't actually going to explode, just bolt off the train to separate our characters a bit
Well, there WAS a changeling Queen who could make their skin impenetrable, but it also turned them into a statue, and Chrysalis can turn her foreleg into an actual blade, but it's next to impossible to change it back if it goes all the way, she has to back off mid transformation.

I mean, it's feasible, it'll just horribly backfire.
>Because Love Magic explosions can be absorbed by her. That's why she has ruled Canterlot for the last 3 seasons.

The season 2 finale wasn't a love magic explosion, it was a shield. Shiny's Shield. The same shield that kept the changelings out not ten minutes before that scene. The shield he couldn't keep up because Chrysalis drained him of love. A love drain that, you know, got reversed... by love magic.

It was his shield, they made that pretty clear.

>Wow, you know what? You were right, this was a great idea.

"Told ya'."

>Crystal Berry icecream? When are we ever going to get a chance to get some of this!


>Yep, stopping by for this? Perfect.

"Aren't I always?"

>...Hey, which way did the princess go?

"Hm? Oh, who knows."

>Bahhhh, I'm sure she's just around the corner or something.

"Yeah, probably."

>I'll just ask a guard real quick, they'll know... excuse me!



"Don't laugh, don't laugh...."


"I'm gonna laugh."
>Out in the middle of nowhere beaches
>No stuff
>No buildings
>No room
>No hope.

...this is the setup to a COMEDY arc, not a HORROR arc, right?
It's Pinkie.

Could swing either way.
"Crystal Ponies"

>No no, please, keep giving me a wiiiiiide berth, I like this, doesn't make me feel bad at all.

"Oh... good!'


"You're not going to turn into that giant monster again, are you?"

"Or the small one? Can you just be exactly no monsters today?"

"I'd like that too!"

"Whelp, it's decided, no monsters today!"



"Dodged a bullet there."

>Fuck, when is Applejack getting back so I can just leave?




"...You want to tell her?"

>Tell me what!?


To be fair, did anyone actually know Sunset was with her?

Also, Sunset's banned from the castle anyway...
Being Sunset is suffering.
She can go have a club with 32, 29 and Actarius.

JJ can look in from the window, because fuck you, your life is fine, don't play that game.

>...Well, while nobody is lookin'...

It was just sand as far as she could see, nothing but sand in every direction, but maybe, just maybe...

She reached out, just as she had with her battle with Chrysalis. Reached low, reached deeply, searched beneath the sand for something, anything at all.

At first, she could feel nothing, sense nothing, it seemed as barren as it looked.

Until... just out of the corner of her vision-

"Hey, AJ? Thanks for getting me out of the sand-"




How, exactly, he landed in the exact same spot, she would never know.

Nor did she know one other, very important piece of information.

Better question, why are you so violent? FFS Chitania doesn't pull this shit.
She's embarrassed she'll never live it down if they find out.

Or, more likely, Twilight will never leave her alone.


To say they were shocked when they stepped off the train simply did not do it justice. To say they were stunned when they saw what accommodations they had been given could not put it to words.

To say said accommodations were, as the 'hip yougin's' put it, "Swank", did not even come close to doing it justice.

It was nothing less than a five star villa, decked out with impressive commodities, gorgeous views of the majestic sea upon pearly white sand, and even a hot tub.

Yes, just off the back, aligned perfectly to see that beautiful sea, was a massive hot tub.

It was nothing short of beautiful.

"...Dibs on whatever is in the fridge."

'On what planet can you do that!?'

[The same planet I can call dibs on exclusive hottub rights.]

{Do you need help reaching that planet? One blow is all it will take.}

(Wooow... this is way nicer than the places I got to go to when I was a celebrity.)




=What? It is, you know.=

~I don't even know why I bother questioning you.~

>Well, if I did just get deposed, this sure beats a revolution. Two? You wanna-


She was gone so fast, no one had seen her move. It was merely a blur, a feeling, and then nothing else.




'Oh my, how adorable!'


[Whelp! I'm getting unloaded, you all ready?]

{I didn't bring anything.}

"How was the ride up there by the way?"


'Scale of one to ten, how many bugs did you hide under your disguise?'


(Ha!.. sooo... who's gonna go get Cadence?)

"'[(~=... RIGHT BEHIND YOU, SHINY!=~)]'"

{So... is the answer me?}

Not a one of them responded verbally.

Instead, every single one let out a whoop of joy, and charged the beach.

{...me it is.}



{...this is the life I chose...}
Chitania can't. They'd fucking die.
>Main six get the crappy shack
>CE crew gets Swaggerville Villa

...sounds about right.
Mane 6 have no Changelings or OCs in their roster.
>Mane 6 have no characterisation or enjoyable traits

Fixed that for you

Remember, competent writers choose changeling~
Does Sunset count? She's pretty much half one of them at this point. But I don't see her getting any development. In fact, she went from 'voice of reason' to 'asshole' since her apearance.
It makes sense, wouldn't want them to just be a repeat of each other. That said, we are obviously going to do the very different, comedy on either one. I think it'll work out, like it worked out at the gala
I don't know, she always kind of came off as a know it all who thinks she knows everything and is totally right now ever since her introduction. She was always an ass hole.
Are, are you implying that the changelings get good accommodations most times? They lived in a crappy ballroom that somehow had a draft for like 100 threads. Sure, the main three big ones get decent places to sleep, but... So does literally every one of the main 6. Even the ones that don't actually have super nice places to sleep in canon get some in this one.

Changeling or OV mean shit, it is all about being a main character baby
I want this meme to be strangled in it's birth
You can start by not replying to it... I mean, come on buddy. You're better than that
Acty accidentally absorbed all his suffering somehow. Don't ask how that works, it makes no sense, but you just gotta roll with it.
>No Changelings or OCs
>Mane 6 all in one place.
I must begin writing. I don't know what, but I must write something.
Did you miss the story by chance? Well, get writing! Main six and their dragon alone in beach with a tiny little shack for shelter.
Or, y'know, write whatever they damn well please.

It's obnoxious that people are so butthurt about what people choose to write, be it comedy vs drama, OC's vs Canon Characters, Changelings vs Ponies.

We're assholes on 4chan, as long as the result isn't fucking heinous, write what you want, nobody's going to stop you.
I actually wonder if that one guy that kept saying he wants to write for Canon stories, but couldn't because of all the changelings beings so ingrained and all that, and they would have to write around them, is even still reading. This would be his opportunity! Can't complain about being in grey now when they're literally in fuck all nowhere with nobody around.
>Two trying to go see the fishies.



"Oh dear..."



"Ahem, Shining? Do... do you want me to go... retrieve her?"


"I'll take that for a yes... Two?"


"Yes, well, your father is rather unsettled with you next to the water like that."

'But Ah'm not touchin' it!'

"He's just worried you'll fall in."

'Awwwww... okay! Can I go get mah' snorkel and promise not to swim out too far?'

"I see no problem with that!"




"Problem solved!"


"...I will promise you all the bits I own for your thoughts right now."

>All I can tell you is what I'm not thinking about.

"And that is?"

>That literally everyone else could have flown up there and grabbed her.



"Yaayyy, vacation!"




"I'm going to go help her with her snorkel."

Awwwwhaha.... fuck.
Well, at least this one isn't Rarity's fault.

Someday, Shiny. Someday.
holy shit my clementine massacre actually made an OP
What should I be getting here...

That EVERYONE is grossly negligent or we just narrowly dodged Two joining the super happy drowning club.

...why the fuck do you bring all the ones that biologically cannot swim to the damn OCEAN?!
>That EVERYONE is grossly negligent

...They... they all charged after her.

Shiny was RIGHT THERE and could have swum in after her if she actually fell.

The problem was she was flying above the water, so Shiny couldn't reach her. So Celestia, who was ALSO right there, flew above the water to go talk to her, which Shiny cannot do. Because flying.

Get it?

>...why the fuck do you bring all the ones that biologically cannot swim to the damn OCEAN?!

The CE ponies were kind of panicking...
Oh right, the wings thing.

Dude, you gotta let that shit go, it's not a good thing to dwell on.

But yeah, how do the CE ponies panicking mean you can't go to some cute pony pun for Aspen?
>But yeah, how do the CE ponies panicking mean you can't go to some cute pony pun for Aspen?

Because they literally had to buy a super fucking swanky looking place(since they don't want them to think they did a bad job according to their explanation for the holiday) literally on the spot that they could go move into that day?

When the travel agent says "We have a nice beach property since all our mountain stuff is booked for the holidays", you take what you can get and don't think too hard about it.
Wait...they're not all going to the same beach?

Well fuck, now it'd just be stupid if the other characters went to a DIFFERENT beach. Guess they'll all be wallflowers at Crystal Canadapalooza.
>Wait...they're not all going to the same beach?

They're all on *a* beach, we don't know if it's the same one.

The Main Six might just be further down the way from CE Beachplace, whole point of M6's thing is they don't know where they are.

>Well fuck, now it'd just be stupid if the other characters went to a DIFFERENT beach.

Seems to just prove we're all factionalized and shit.

Mane 6 and Spike get their little province.


Do we just throw whoever's left down into a tourist town nearby? I mean fuck either I get the feeling it'd just end in another 'STOP WRITING FOR (non-Shinyharem) OC'S!' Argument and I'm just tired.
I can't see us putting them on different beaches. We would lose so many great character interaction opportunities for pretty much zero benefit.
>Seems to just prove we're all factionalized and shit.

You are waayyyyyy reaching there. It's just a story measure to explain why Pinkie and co aren't in the big expensive place(because them all being in a tiny shack is funnier), and to setup potential future gags about the two, while also giving a highlight to Pinkie's state of mind(in that, she's looking for being it with just her friends to be like it was in the old days when they went on adventures) and her trying to force the matter.

>Do we just throw whoever's left down into a tourist town nearby?

Put 'em wherever you want. Hell, have them literally camp on the beach or something. At least one set of characters is going to have a particular location, I can tell you that.

It's a fun arc, man. Have some fun. Think up a crazy scenario where they, yes the OC's if you want, end up on the beach. Or hell, have Sunset chase down AJ and end up way off course, have Chitania chase down Chrysalis just to get away from the CE, have 77 decide to go hiking in the woods just to fuck with the formula, do whatever.

It's the fun arc man, put your fears of arguments to rest for a time, go wild with your ideas and have some FUN!
I literally never for a second thought they were on different beaches. I'm not kidding when I say that if we did reveal they were, I would call it a twilight-zone-esq twist, I am being 100 percent serious. Even though there is nothing to indicate they're on the same stretch of beach, I would call shamalamadingdong if they weren't. Hell, I'd call bullshit just because we'd miss out on Main Six Shack VS CE Villa shenanigans, if we don't get a prank war out of this I will be utterly mortified.


"WHAT!? HOW!?"

>I tried to bring a LITTLE CULTURE to this place and these Fillystines decided I was a threat.

-She tried to fiddle with the crystal heart.-

>All I wanted to do was adjust how opaque it was so I could grab a projector and show movies on the dome, is that so wrong?

-It is when your method is flying into it again and again like a fly to a lightbulb.-

>It's called percussive maintenance.

'Well you tried, that's all I can ask for.'

>Thank you!

"Don't enable her."

'Oh to hell with this nonsense, are we to just be a bunch of on-lookers to a party we weren't invited to? I say nay! It's obvious our respective rulers have gone off to party like its their last days on the planet, and speaking as someone who may well be living his own last days, I call for us to do the same!'

"What was that last bit?"

'Never you mind! I say we gather all our confederates and set out for the vacation to end all vacations!'

-You better not be talking about- -

'Puerto Burro!'

-Fucking Puerto Burro...-

"What's Puerto Burro?"

-A place our team infiltrated once upon a time.-

'And no finer place for us to spend agonizing over whether our professional or literal lives will be over before the week is out.'

-It is the single most garish tourist trap I have ever been to.-

'Bah, come on! Make some memories to share with your future brood of children, live a little! We'll have Ms.Daw head out in front of us to tell your lady love and SOMEONE'S friends to prepare and we'll all of us have a grand old time.'

~M'not going...~

'You are if I have to drain you and drag your dessicated carcass!'

>It'd be nice to be near the sea again. Pom?

"Aw what the hell, I'll go get the guys, maybe Sunset too if she wants."

'That's the spirit! And I'll find out where my two pet oafs are hiding.'

-...fine, but if anyone comes near me with a sombrero again, heads will roll.-

'Duly noted! Let's go!'

>Okay, so, after two hours of math, I've figured out how all six of us can sleep in this room. Now, those of you contesting my naming of it as 'room' instead of 'the whole thing', I would like to remind you that Pinkie is in that area at the top, which she insists on calling 'a room'.

"YEP! It's the lookout room! Don't worry, no Seawolves are going to be bugging us tonight!"

>...That is not as assuring as you want it to be.

"But I've got Great Great Grandad's old bow and arrow up here! It still has some spring in it!"

>...Moving on. Well, so long as we assume the positions I've calculated here, we'll all fit!

'Can't one of us just go sleep outside? Ah' don't mind.'

>That would be an amazing idea, if some pony had let us check the weather of this area before taking us to here.

"But then you'd know where we are!"

>And of course we can't have that. Point is, if any kind of rain happens in the night, you're screwed if you're out there, you will for sure freeze to death, because no sleeping bags.

'Then Ah'-'

>And if you come in here when you're wet, you'll possibly help US freeze to death. Because no sleeping bags to keep the water seperated.

'Point taken.'

[Oh, pish posh! It'll be fun! It's like a great big sleepover!]

"Rarity's got it!"

-Oh, yeah, just like that... sans sleeping bags, and food, and a tent, and... everything?-


{...But it'll still be fun!}

'Yeah! Still fun!'



>Oh dear, I seem to have stepped on your hoof. Sorry about that.

-N-no problem...-

"Alright! Everybody get all settled, fun starts tomorrow!"

>Right... so much fun tomorrow.


-...Can I just say this is really weird?-


'Nahhh, what's weird about all of us huggin' in a big pile?'

-...Sarcasm? I can't tell.-

[Darling, you're kind of... ahem, pressing.]

'Ain't a lot of room sugar cube.'

[But it's... really irritating my Cutie Mark.]

'Oh fer' the love of... just lift yer' dang leg.'

[Like... thi- Oh! Oh my, that is much better! You're actually rather soft, Applejack.]

'Please stop remindin' me bout all the muscles Ah'm losin' at that desk...'

[No no, it's a compliment! Why, this is downright... nice!]

'Well Ah' glad someone's enjoyin' this, yer' tails tickling me.'

~...N-not in front of everyone, Spike... not here...~

>Did you say something?


>You don't have to yell.


"Shhh! Will you all be quiet!? Are you TRYING to call seabears!?"

{I thought it was Seawolves?}

"Well, yeah! The seawolves show up and then the Seabears come to eat them and whatever they were attacking, Seawolves attacks are guaranteed to call Seabears! I can't believe someone who knows so much about animals doesn't know that."

{How silly of me.}

[You smell nice, Applejack!]

'Please stop smellin' me.'

~Nooott heeeerrreeeee.~

>...this is gonna be a fun trip.

Oh no, it's more of a sudden realization of a rare opportunity.

The benefit for me is that I wouldn't have to write for any of Shiny's crew or OCs and I'm more than okay with that. I don't want to touch them.

Except I was too slow on the draw, damn.
Okay small wrench, I'll see if I can still salvage my story. Mine will either have to be an alternative or take place the next day.
Keep it in little guy, keep it in. Or else this is going to get really really awkward really fast.
Well, you already don't have to, but never mind..

'Have a seat.'

>Sure, cover your ears.

'Thanks for the warning.'


'What was that?'



>Should've kept your ears covered.

"I have no ears, so I can't cover them."

>Ah logic. So! Let's talk turkey then-damn this is a nice chair...

'I spare no-ffffuck that hurt-expense. Now, cards on the table, I don't know EXACTLY where your eyes are.'

>...ok, well then I will be taking my new shaggy dog and going home then.

'But I DO know who's got them, for a given value of having them.'

>Well shit, guess that'll have to do. I'm guessing you're not going to take making me remember I jacked your existence under the influence of a mushroom and saying I'm sorry as a good enough exchange.

'Not a chance.'

>Ah well, such is life. What's it you want then, huh?

'You ever wonder who I was? Who my friends were? Who my family was? What my goals in life were?'

>Ok, I'm not going to bullshit you because honestly, you already know I didn't. I had other things on my mind, so wondering about the backstory of the corpse I impersonated was on the backburner.

'You can see how I don't think that's fair.'

>No...no it's not. Fuck, you didn't even get to quietly reflect as you died, you had to look at my ugly mug skulking up to you.

'Exactly. So here's my deal for you. The information in exchange for you doing a simple task.'

>Find out who you were?

'Find out who my family was, tell them what happened to me...and also give them money. A lot of money. With the shit you pulled? They deserve sooooo many bits. Enough for a funeral and then some.'

"I can provide free cremation!"

>Not helping. How do I get money?

'Think it's called a job.'

>...ok, fine, anything else?

'One proviso: You do this even if you don't get your sight back.'


'Good. So...guess who has your eyeballs.'

>Seriously? We doing this?

'Go on. Who's the one entity you DON'T want having your shit.'

>Oh...Mother...FUCKER! CORDYCEPS!?



'Well look where we are, honey. This valley is a neat little cross-section of your mind, right? We're down in the deep recesses, we're all made of discarded ideas, broken dreams, and derailed trains of thought. Now the surface, hoo boy, that's a whole different matter. Ponies, Changelings, those weird pale things...'

>Morlocks too!?

'Morlocks huh? Hey I read that book! Cool. But yeah, they're up there on the surface, where the mushrooms are so dense the light doesn't come down, or when a certain giant mushroom at the center of the valley belches out a cloud of some of those damn pink spores, making a cover for them.'

>Oh fuck...

'Thankfully, the spores aren't what they used to be, big old case of infectile dysfunction. All they're good for is blocking the sun and giving the damn Morlocks a way to attack folks. But honestly, we're digressing here, your eyeballs were last seen deep in Morlock territory and heading deeper. So there's only one place I can think of them being.'

>Guess I should have expected this, can't have a mushroom forest without the mother of them all.

"I look forward to meeting this Cordyceps, let's depart."

'Hooold on there. In the interest of getting my end of the deal fulfilled, I'm gonna call on a favor I have from up there. Clay here is going to take you down a special tunnel we had built, right in the Changeling Court. If anyone's going to be able to help you get to that shroom, it'll be the Queen's Chrysalis.'

>Huh, well, thanks a bunch, I guess, I-...when you say Queens Chrysalis, do you mean there's more than one or...



"I apologize."
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No kidding? You don't say? I...already...don't..have...to. It never occurred to me that I already don't have to write about the characters I don't want to write about and should instead rip the mane 6 from whatever location, plot, or even if they're in the middle of interacting with said characters I don't want to write about, so that they're together in canon. Welp, you sure informed me. I'll definitely remember that. I don't know why I even brought it up. :^)
I'll just go back to writing stories instead of arguing.

>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I take opportunities when ponies are asleep! Now for our main guest...SPIKE!!!

"Hey hey hey."

>Do you want to stick your claw in it?


>Do you want to stick your claw in both of them?

"N-no! No I don't! I would never!"

Pinkie smiles wide.
>I know you're thinking it. Eyyy don't worry about it. In fact, as their close friends of AJ and Rarity, I'm giving you the consent.

"I don't think it works like that but...thanks?"

>Don't mention it! That's all the time we have, and thanks for joining us! Sleep tight everypony! Oh and Spike, don't get a boner right now. You're on top of Twilight.

Spike wakes up and looks who he's on top of.
"...Damn you morning wood."
Don't have to be a dick about it, dude.
So wait, remind me, how does that work?
All this shit in the valley(or plains, dont remember) is caused by Lavans magic.
And its all taken from 88s memory.
Does that mean that Canary 88 is talking with is just a memory of real Canary that died way back, given physical form?
If so, MemCanary shouldn't remember her family, or anything from her real life, right? Because 88 doesn't know it?
Unless you say it's somehow tied with Cordy taking over everyone and getting all that knowledge and all that info somehow still lying deep down in the back of 88s mind.
Or just classic 'its magic'.

Also, will shit stay weird over there after all is said and done? I would like that.
It was a wasteland, nothing in it.
Now there is whole ecosystem there, it would be shame to let it wither.
I'm not. Didn't you see me smiling? :^)
Totally agreeing, and delivering at the same time. I'm productively not arguing.
Now sh sh shhhh I write za sleepy time stories, so go to sleep. It's Twilight's turn.

>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I think I'm shotgunning episodes tonight! Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT!!!

"Hi Pinkie. It feels like it's been a while since our last one on one inter-"

>Would it be weird if Spike got an erection if he slept on top of you?

"No it wouldn't. It's a natural bodily function. Why would I-"

>I'm glad you think that way, Twi but that's all the time we have for now. G'night everypony!

"I see you still keep your show very-"
Twilight wakes up.
"Short...aw don't be embarrassed about about that Spike. I know anatomy. It's a perfectly natural thing to have an erection in the morning. If you need to take care of it, maybe we can ask Pinkie if she has any magazines. What do you say?"
I assumed it had 88 scoop out what little mind stuff she could from the dying real!Canary -recent things and basic info to help her better fit in. MemCanary doesn't know is the thing but assumes there's gotta be SOMEONE as ponies just don't suddenly exist outside of 88's current wonderland fuckery.

As far as what happens to the valley afterwards, I do intend to leave it there with one canon debatable story add on:

"Huh...Hey, Starlight, was there a valley full of mushrooms next door to us yesterday? No, right?"
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and yep I'm totally shotgunning episodes tonight! Now for our main guest...FLUTTERSHY!!!


>Sorry for not putting you on the show in ages. I bet you missed this!

"Um...not really."

>Did you ever enjoy watching animals mate?


>Your animals. You know, when they mate, do you watch?

Fluttershy's nose grows a little longer.


"Uh that doesn't mean anything!"

>And that's our show for now. Sleep well everypony!

"No Pinkie, don't leave it like that. Ponies are going to think I'm a-"
Fluttershy wakes up.
"pervert...oh dear."
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and whew sure I have a lot of friends! Now for our main guest...RAINBOW DASH!!!

"Hey hey Pinkie."

>Do ya wanta?

"Wanta what?"

>A PONKA! The refreshing soft drink that's sure to quench your thirst!
Upbeat music plays
>Wanta Ponka? Don'tcha wanta? Wanta Ponka? Don'tcha wanta? Wanta Ponka? Don'tcha wanta?

"You're really doing a commercial now?"

>Do you wanta Ponka drink though?

"Naw not really."

>Oh okay. That's too bad. That's all the time we have for now, so I'll catch everypony later!

"...I might want one when I wake up."

RD wakes up, stares at her can of Ponka next to her and drinks it.

"...it's...actually pretty good."
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and wow...this is really tiring! Now for our main guest...RARITY!!!

"I'm ready for my close up. Pinkie what are you wearing?"

Pinkie's in Rarity Pyjamas with hoodie.
>I'm dreaming of what's it like to be inside you!


>...That was funnier in my head, but that's okay because I got you matching Pinkie pyjamas! Now you'll know what's it like to be inside me!


>...That was also funnier in my head. Can you wear it? Pretty please?

"First of all neither of them have accurate manes and second, I'll look ridiculous, darling."

Pinkie gets sad.

"...*sighs* fine, just please don't make that face."


Rarity puts on the pyjamas.

Pinkie kisses Rarity's cheek.
>Mmmwa! You look great! I Wuvs you! That's all the time we have for now, so I'll see you next time!

Rarity wakes up and sees the Pinkie pyjamas next to her.
"...I suppose it'll look much better once I modify it a bit."
Ho shit, LNPP explosions
It's 4am and this is exhausting why am I doing this?
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we push it to the limit! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!

"Howdy ho, Pinkie."

>Great to have you back on the show!

"About the what's been going on in the dream world, Ah've been meaning to ask-"

>Nope, my show my questions. I need to know though...can I expect you to have my back?

"...fer' what?"

>Just a yes or no. When things start getting really wet. Can I expect you to have my back? I'll have your back if you do.


>Perfect! We're going to be a dream team! That's all for tonight folks. Let's hope we get to have a fun beach adventure!

"You know, Ah'm reminded of the time me and my cousin Peach were-"


AJ wakes up.
"Aw...oh wait, I don't think the gang heard any of them."
Well, goddamn someone worked a little tushy off. Good job
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and oh...I guess I covered everypony. Time to call it and wake up!

"Ahahahaha aren't you forgetting somepony?"

>...who said that?

"C'mon when are you going to address the elephant in the room?"

>Tch, is it a dream eater? I'm warning you! I leveled up hard!

"HAHAHAHAHA no I'm somepony even better. Go to your dressing room and you'll see me."

Pinkie kicks down the door.
>HIYA...there's no pony here.

"Oh I'm here...just look in the mirror."
Pinkie looks to see a sharped tooth version of herself grinning back.

>No...that can't be right! You're suppose to be gone! I beat you!

"Oh did you? The others defeated and destroyed their shadows...you ate me."

Pinkie glares at shadow Pinkie in the mirror.

"Heh speechless?"

>Just go away!

"I'm not going away because I'm stuck inside you now, but that's okay. I'm fine being a prisoner in you. There's one little thing though...you know what I want. Don't you feel me gnawing at you from the inside? I know what nightmares taste like now...I want more. C'mon, you know how good it felt to take a bite out of AJ's Shadow. Maybe if you went around eating nightmares you can be a better dream eater than the dream eaters themselves."

>Just shut up!
She punches the mirror.

"...that doesn't do anything and it's going to be our producer who replaces it."

>Dang it!

"You can keep clinging to your 'I don't have to be consistent' all you want, but you're going to have to face me eventually. Remember that when you're alone."
Pinkie wakes up.

>...you'll have to get me alone first.
>Morning girls~! Help yourself to what's in the fridge. There's plenty of pickled vegetables in there. Pickled plums. pickled lemons, pickled cabbage, pickled carrots, pickled cucumbers...oh wait that's just normal pickles.

"...What a wide variety."

>There's some canned goods too. I saw a can of peaches somewhere.

AJ tests the sink.
'Ah'm glad that there's plumbing at least.'

>*gasp* I got a great idea! There's a box of water guns in the closet. Let's have a water fight!

[Huh, I don't think I've ever had a water gun fight before.]

>Then you're in for a treat! There's water balloons too, so let's fill those up. I need to set up outside though. Don't go outside until I come back!

'Yer' tellin me you never had any water fights growing up?'

[I didn't want to get my books wet.]

"Don't forget, darling, she never had a slumber party before either and needed a book."

[*gasps* I don't have my book on beach parties! How am I going to know what to do!?]

'Ah' think you'll survive, Twi.'

RD opens a closet and rush of stuff pour out.
=Are you okay Rainbow Dash?=

{Oh my gosh oh my gosh, I'm better than okay. I found a slinky! Awww yeah.}
Shifts it around in her hooves.
{Isn't this awesome Fluttershy?}

=Um...it's okay.=

{WHAT?! Okay? Everypony loves a slinky. Look at this.}
Makes the slinky walk around her right foreleg, behind her neck and to her left foreleg.
{Still got it baby!}

=Not bad.=

{Not bad? Sheesh, I didn't know you were hard to impress.}

=I'm sorry. I'm just a little desensitized.=

+If you're done, we could use some help filling the water guns.+

{Alright alright, hold your horses.}

Pinkie comes back in.

>It's ready come outside!
They begin shuffling outside.

+Good timing. We just finished filling up the water bal...+
he looks up.
Pinkie is on top of the center tower of a giant Sandcastle.

>I say we play Queen of the Hill. What do you think?

So... much.... I am honestly Impressed
Wooo! Guessing this means LNPP is taking a break? Well, guess that's okay, can't wait to see what you do with Canon stuff.
Well, that's really something to wake up to
Right? Bye bye good morning anon.
And finally, you make it to Canon. Congratulations.
>.and also give them money. A lot of money. With the shit you pulled? They deserve sooooo many bits. Enough for a funeral and then some.'

All I saw was that ASH VS Evil Dead moment with 88 going

>I'm not a fucking bank.
'...Party money?'
>...I can do party money.
'Yeah, party money, guys!'
So not only is apple princess more... malleable, she's self conscious about her newfound softness.

That's adorable.

She was a good infiltrator.


She really was, it wasn't just her imagination. She hit her targets every time, she never even came close to being detected, not a once. And never did the Queen ever imagine that she was secretly an heir, she never even suspected it. For fucks sake, even after she stopped hiding it the Queen still couldn't believe that she was secretly a mare, she was just that good.

Which is why she had to admit that, perhaps, she was acting just outside of her best interests of her continued profession when she devolved into charging blindly and swinging.

She would at least lean upon the idea it was, if nothing else, effective, if the bat-pony were not so easily outpacing her.

"Ya' made her mad, Miss Captain Mare."

'I can see that.'

[Hrmph, this is pathetic.]

{Most unprofessional behavior.}


She didn't care who she had to punch, who she had to bite, who she had to kill.

She was going to get that changeling.



It didn't hurt.

No matter how much her head literally being jammed into the ceiling may seem to hurt to the uninitiated, it did not hurt. Now, the fact the captain had done so by backflipping and not giving a single fuck while she was doing it, that hurt, just a bit.

"...Can she breath?"

'I hope not.'

[It would make everything a lot easier if he just suffocated.]

{She, Jetset.}

[I know what I said.]

And though he did not know it, it was exactly the wrong thing.


She would not be paying for the ceiling. That said, it didn't matter if she had been forced to.

The looks on their faces when her magic exploded and grabbed them before they could react was simply priceless.


She struggled, of course she did, but the magic was too strong. The rage was too strong.

[Well, this is embarrassing for you, Potsticker.]

'Shut up.'


{No, really, being caught by magic? So embarrassing.}

'Shut uppppp.'

[How are you going to get out of this one, or are you simply going to kill yourself in shame.]


She pulled, with all her magical might she pulled, dragging her closer like a spider to their prey.

"Ya' don't look worried, Misses Captain Ma'am."

'I'm not.'

"Ya' got a trick up your sleeve?"


"...Uh, don't wanna give strategy tips to the captain, but-"


'It's okay.'

[No, really, do you want me to intervene? This is getting sad.]

{I feel honest pity right now.}

'You're going to feel something else in a second here.'

[Oh? And what's that?]


[Shame? For wha-]

He was cut off. In fact, it seemed time itself was cut off when they descend. The 'They' in question being bodies. Lots and lots and lots and lots of bodies.

Nightguard bodies, to be precise, all of them raining down from the ceiling.

She hadn't noticed a one.

'Shame that you didn't notice my backup.'

[...I actually do feel a bit ashamed at that.]

{You should be.}

[Did you notice them?]

{Silence, things are happening.}

Those things were a lot of swords.

A lot of swords.

'Gonna drop me, or are my backup going to have to make you regret it?'

>...Wait, didn't I beat up most of you guys?... YEAH! Yeah, I did! I remember you! I kicked you into the store, and you went onto the couch, and you I stepped on, and you I shot with lasers!

'That's beside the-'

>And you I punched into a fountain-

'-this is really getting off topic-'

>-and you I tripped-

'-I assure you they've trained a lot-'

>-and I slept with your wife!

Everyone went silent, with the nightguard in question that she had been pointing to dropping his jaw in stunned shock.

>...No, wait, was it yours?... It was one of them! They all look the same!



>Look, who's almost or recently divorced? I don't know if that was enough to last a whole year, but... look, it was before the invasion, and she REALLY needed that, so- whoever it was, go down on her more often, would it kill you to give a little reciprocal? Come on! This isn't fair! She has needs to, YOU!... Or was it you?..


>I'm just saying.

'Look, we're getting really off topic here!'

>Oh, right... point is, I can probably take you all.

'I really doubt you won all that much without reinforcements.'

>And who says I don't have them?

Every nightgaurd tensed, teeth sinking into their blades as they stood poised, and ready for battle.

"She doesn't."


"Not-mom doesn't send reinforcements for you unless it's a super important mission, she likes swarm stuff at the start, not later."


It sucked so much to see that mare smile.

'Well then... shall we test the theory? Guards! Get ready!'

They went low, preparing.

'Get set!'

They tensed, almost ready to jump, and she knew right away the hardest battle of her life would soon begin.



They froze, all of them, when a voice came from the darkness above, and a changeling dropped down.

~...The fuck, sister.~


~Majesty was wondering what was taking so long, she was worried he got arrested or something.~

>WELL SHUT UP AND HELP ME! I have the target right there!

Her fellow hivemate mashed a hoof to his face, slowly dragging it down as everyone hung around in awkward, half-running positions.

~You were just supposed to make sure he was okay and take him home.~


~Stop yelling.~


~Look just... what's the problem?~

"I've gotta find the common room so I can start training to be a nightguard!"

~You're not allowed in the castle.~

"Slight speedbump!"

~You'd get arrested, and nightgaurds can't have criminal records.~

"...Misses Captain?"

'He's right.'


"Ah, I see... can I hold off on the search til it's legal? I don't want to break the law."

'An admirable stance on the matter.'

"Kay! Guess I should see how Cuz is doing anyway, he probably got yelled at or something."

~Alright. Then you can come back to this spot so it's fair and you're not cheating.~

"Awesome!... You can let me go now, Misses Captain! And don't worry, when this is all over, I'm gonna prove I can be the best most super nightguard there ever was!'

Everyone of the nightguards, the captain included, gave little more than a raised eyebrow collectively as he hopped down and walked up.

Naturally, he moved past her, and to her brother, giving her the stink eye all the way, before sitting down next to him.

"Thanks for sticking with me, Mister Jetset! Miss Harshwhinny! You guys are awesome, but I gotta wait till this is legal! Then I'm coming right back here to go back to looking, no cheating!"


{Professional, I respect that.}

'I suppose... we need some time to reevaluate.'

"Ain't gonna have too much time, so get ready! I'm gonna make it!... We ready to go, Dudemare?"

She stared, she stared to them, her hivemates, her foes, and her spectators, she stared to them all, every one.

She stared, and stared, and stared.

And then she lied down, and curled into a ball.

"...Ya' need a minute?"

It had been one of those missions.


And she needed this.

'...So, that whole wife thing was made up, right?'

She needed her moment.


She was a good infiltrator...
They said beach episode, not ski resort episode (which surrounded by snow, the empire is). Add to it we already did ski and snowboarding jokes with the cast and water is the joke of the month. This was all started because we wanted more drowning jokes and Anime filler.

In canon reason
they wanted them to go away and this was what they came up with

Also Changelings are weak to cold and water, so they are in danger regardless.
Pffft, I actually feel bad for her.

Now go do the thing, 56.

You know what I'm talking about.
>This was all started because we wanted more drowning jokes and Anime filler.

We're deep into the cancer stages so why the hell not
I loved the escalation and de-escalation there, it just rang so perfect, tense but the avoided angst of conflict was great, and 56 being the sensible dunce that he is... 9/10 could've used a plotsnuggle.
Starlight Glimmer and a village of nerfed ponies VS. 88's pun filled and mushroom infected memories of ponies, changelings, and pre-32 Morlocks. That won't be fair but I can't argue that it wouldn't be great to see.



"S-shut up."

>Is... is that the entire train room?

"S-she wouldn't... HRN... wouldn't leave the t-train... HRNK...."

>So you picked it up, the whole freaking room, a giant chunk of a train... instead of going inside and talking to her. You would really rather rip out chunks of metal and carry her, train and all, instead of actually talking to her.

"I found this... HRRKK... to be the most... EFFFiiicent way..."



>...Forty Two-


>Well at least you're honest.
He's not going to hug him. The most he'll get is a status report before he is off on an ass sidequest.


The inside, unsurprisingly, was every bit as spacious and extravagant as the outside. Rooms upon rooms, a living area that was quite decked out in rather nice amenities, complete with fully stocked kitchen and fridge, and even-

"HOLY SHIT! They actually have a projector for movies! HAH!"

'I must say, this is... nicer than my last vacation, actually. I feel slightly ripped off.'

The stallion whistled as he walked down the hallway, peering inside to see bedroom after bedroom. Each one was unique in it's own way, one of them had a mini fridge, one of them had a water bed, one of them was plain and simple, and of course there was the massive bed in the main bedroom.

>Wow, full theater, three bathrooms, nifty little storage closet... oh hey! They even have an office-

There was a sudden, rapid, thupthupTHUPTHUPSLAM!

All he had a seen was a blur, something that passed him by in an instant, there and gone. Nothing but a flash of pink before the door he had been poised halfway in was slammed in his face, quite literally, and a loud CLACK of a lock falling into place rumbled the door.

He stood there, a single drop of blood dripping down from his nose, still frozen in the same expression he had made the second before.

>...ahem, honey? Do you want us to-

He heard scraping of something being pushed in front of the door, and watched as a sudden weight was pressed upon it.


The changeling let out a cry of exhaustion, flopping painfully to the ground just outside the building, and dropping the massive structure she had been carrying with a sand-scattering boom behind her.

{I... you just... the whole way...}

>Moving on!

{The whole way...}

His insistence did not stop until she did.

>As I was saying, moving on!... Okay, so, since Cadence has picked her room, why don't we all pick our own? We can all sleep in our own places now-



SLAM went the door, with the Queen gone before he or any other could challenge her.

>...okay! So! She has that one, that's fair, she got that first, what about-


SLAM! And away that princess went.

>...I think we should start-



>...maybe taking stock and then-



>...Really, Forty Two? Betraying me now?



>...okay, that one actually makes sense, as that's clearly a childs bedroom, but-



>Did that even have a bed? I don't know why they would have a-



>Theater... that's... that's the theater, there isn't- Maney? Mane-iac... ugh...


>...Well, Sombra, there's one room left, I guess we're-



The ghostly thing, now free of the sand he had been holding in his mouth, charged into the room, and soon enough...


>...okay! That was... that was the last room, guys!... That was the only one!... I need one for me too, you know? Prince of the Empire! They technically gave the trip to me!... Can I at least stay in the bathroom? They're all connected to the rooms! I can't... there's no not-connected bathroom, even!... Guys?... GUYS!?

Silence was his only answer.

>...Guess I'm sleeping on the couch...

He said, before turning around and noticing that said couch was gone.



=AHHHHAHAHAH!... Sorry! But they forgot to put a bed in here!=

>T-... theater, that's the-



>How did she even... she wasn't carrying that when...

In this, the single most expensive, opulent, downright lavish looking villa he could ever vacation to, Shining Armor found only one simple answer.

>...I'm sleeping on the fucking floor, aren't I

His question was met with silence.

He already knew the answer.

>Yayyy, vacation...
Not true Shining, you can always try sleeping with the fishes
That's what you get for having such a fuckhuge cast.
Harem ain't so fun when the logistics get involved, huh, Shiny?
She's going to be quite disappointed
...Don't you crush my dreams.
>Cadence is ignoring him
>No vacation sex
>No spending time with everyone
>No bed to himself
>Can't even drown himself because it's in public, and he can't reach the bathrooms


Feels like classic thread 1-3 all over again.


"I think she's taking this too far."




'...Ah'm not seein' it.'

Feels like this whole arc is back to basics.

Just the main six, the classic CE crew, and no drama.
Heh, I like this. Kinda like Pinkie waking up from her dream to finally go have fun.

>Well, at least I get first dibs on the fridge! Annnnd, what snacks do you have for me?





"Shiny? Something wrong?"

>Uh... Eighteen? Do you have any idea who stayed her before us?

"I don't think they give out that information."

>Well, I can tell you one thing... they uh... they loved meat. Rabbit meat, being specific.


>...Don't let Two see.
And thus, even this nameless-er, numberless changeling joins the ranks of 'if you are a secret agent for our heroes, your life sucks.'

Good to know it's universal.

[Well, that's not so bad-]


...Who the fuck in the MLP world eats rabbit?

Griffon's don't eat meat in the show, do they? I can't recall ever seeing them eat meat.

Diamond dogs? I mean, they can't eat the gems they mind, probably them.
>the five star villa they're staying in is something straight out of a horror film
>disturbingly comedic findings everywhere
>...Sorry, Sombra.
"No offense taken."
I think Gilda ate meat early thread. No, they don't eat it in canon, but Gilda Spike and PJ all eat it despite it not being their actual food in showcanon, I guess because they like the taste?
So the princess and her five friends plus dragon are in a shack on a beach, right?
Yes. Main six and the dragon are out in fuckall nowhere beach, no bags, no nothing. Just the stuff in the shack that can barely fit them and each other.

>Alright! PHEW! That took for fuckin' ever, but at last! Made it to Equestia again and outta the fuckin' frozen hellhole that is that place... seriously, who builds a goddamn city in the middle of icy wasteland? Just don't make no sense! And this is comin' from a bugger who used to live on a bunch o' water you can't drink and was full of things tryin' to eat'cha! And even I think that's dumb!... Moving on! On to this, the land of Equestria, and now I've just gotta go find patchy's lady love and that one poor sap's friends and we'll be off!... Just as soon as... just as soon as I remember who they are....


>Because I know who they are, I totally know who they are, I know exactly what their names and descriptions are, despite the fact I've never met them. I know who they are because there is no way, there is no damn way, that I flew out here without knowing that. There is no damn way that changeling would tell me to go get some ponies... and I'm assuming they're ponies... without informing me of exactly, EXACTLY, who they are, and what they look like, because there is no way I ever met the fuckers before now, there is no way I did all that. Not now, not here, out in fuckin' Equestia, did I do that.


>No fucking way.


Trips dont lie.

32 is still worst ling.
The one downside to never getting laid and having a ton of mares in your house.
It'll allllll pay off.


Well, Chrysalis can't pay off till later. That one guy said he'd get mad and complain a lot and post a lot saying he was mad and upset.

Can't have that.
>Implying that has stopped literally anyone in this thread

Dude, remember thread 42?

Shit ain't even a thing.

>...Rarity, that is a flagrant abuse of your power.

"P-shaw, since when is making a giant sand effigy of yourself an abuse of power?"

>...Are those parts of the shack?

"I needed stability."

>We need that not to die.

"Well, YOU do..."



>Friggen alicorn powers.

"Such language! You'd be arrested so fast in Raritopia."
No skin off my bones if it happens, then we'll just have her be god mode 24/7 and then she'll be Two levels of invincible.

If we're truly cancerous as that one anon said, should we put ourselves through misery with treatments that will only prolong the inevitable or through caution to the wind and end up wiping out breaking the speed limit on a suped-up Harley?

I know the one I want.


'Sorry, Rar, this space has already been claimed fer' the greater Appleburg good, Ah'm sure you understand.'

"This means war!"

'Now, Ah'm sure we can come to an agreement. Why don't Ah' just take this here land, and you go somewhere else!'

"...That doesn't sound like something I would agree to at all!"

'What iffin' Ah' added glitter?'


>Psst, totally take the deal, Rarity! Glitter! We could do a lot with glitter, trust me!

"You're a terrible adviser!"

>Hoo, no kidding. I was gonna backstab you and take your son!

"I don't even have a son!"

>I play a long game.

'Do ya' mind? Yer' messin' up the future Appleburg city square.'

"Well, darling, I don't think such a thing would look good there."


"Yes, clearly it should be an affordable FLAT!"


'...yer' gonna regret that.'

>I feel like relations are breaking down.

It's all fun and games until someone breaks out the Nerve Staples

[THE KINGDOM OF DASHTOPIA WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! Your are disrupting us being awesome!]

"You can't be Dashtopia, I've already named my place Raritopia!"

'Does seem derivative.'

[Pssh, who says I didn't name it first?]

"Common sense. Logic. An understanding of the progression of time."

[Pffft, who needs those.]

"Just pick something else."

[...Dashdale? I like Dashdale.]

'Wow, just when Ah' thought ya' hit the bottom.'

[Dashdale is fine! Right, Pinkie?]

>....Try something new, it's good for you!

[Oh for the love of... Dashland!]

'Ya' know what? Let's give her that, this got sad real fast.'


"Please stop."


>At least there's two Ds in there?

[Hall of Dash?]

'What even.'

[Dashie and the Squares.]

"Now you're just saying random things!"


"What!? That doesn't even fit with the others!"

[Yes it does.]


[There's a Dash in there.]

"No there..."
>...You win this round, Dashie.

[And that is why I'm the most awesome.]
... okay, that was clever. You get a point for that one.
Applause, sir, applause.

As it turned out, their own little patch of ‘paradise’ had a pier. It was the most ricketiest pier in all of Equestria, surely, but they had one.

And it was upon this one that Spike stood.

>We want something besides pickled stuff to eat, they says. Pickled this, pickled that, I’m sick of pickled things, they says. Don’t worry, guys, I’ll go get us some fish, I says... moments before realizing I didn’t pack a fishing pole.

He gave Charity’s barrel a good spin, then pointed her at the healthy looking blueish-green waters. There were plenty of fast moving blurs just underneath the surface. Plenty of plump fish and crab and who knows what else.

He closed one eye, poked out his tongue, put a claw on the trigger.

>One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish… now who’s gonna wind up on my dish?

Almost as if summoned by his question turned rhyme, the flickering black shadows gave way to a much bigger shape that slowly burst through the oceans surface, arching and reaching, towering over Spike and casting a shadow over a great majority of everything.


He stared, mouth agape, firing arm dropped, trying to make sense of this massive amphibian creature now staring down at him from it’s height in the clouds.

“Excuse me, little dragon.”

Its booming voice resonated with all the power of a volcano erupting, albeit with a feminine edge, though how Spike picked that up he would never figure out.

“I would greatly appreciate it if you did not shoot my babies. I cannot stop you but I am quite sure neither you nor your patrons would appreciate the fatally immediate consequences to follow.”

Dimly, Spike’s eyes found his weapon, and he started to chuckle.

>What, you... you mean this? Oh, ha! No, no, no, I wasn’t about to shoot anything, I was just checking the sights, is all, making sure everything was straight. And it is! Allll straight! Yes, ma’am, no shooting going on here, especially not at your babies, I would never, nope, for I am a good dragon who wants to live a long time and not an idiot.

“I thank you, little dragon.”

And the creature sank back into the astonishingly deep depths of the ocean just like that.


‘Um… darling? You seem to have returned without fish and... and good heavens! Have your scales turned white?!’

>I don’t wanna talk about it. Here, I got us each a soy cube. Eat up.
...Godzilla's wife is particularly well spoken.
Clever as fuck.
Soooo how long before Chitty beats her up just cuz?
Chitty doesn't beat up random folks, she only attacks when she has a mission or they pissed her off by attacking her, anything short of actually being attacked she laughs off.

She'd probably insult her for not just punching the guy who pointed a gun at her kids, though.
It occurs to me, would the Crystal Canadians be so happy to see Chitty if they knew she used their favorite tiny cute bug as a battery?
Er, they know. It's not like it wasn't a widely publicized event when she was grabbed and Shining Armor punched her with a robot into a volcano. They also know she stomped Canterlot into nothing, a lot of them volunteered to go help rebuild it.

They weren't happy to see her when she arrived to kick Variolus's ass, but seeing her openly cry in public and seeing Shining Armor, the Prince, publicly forgive her probably means they're gonna put it past them, since if he can they can. That was literally why they weren't afraid of Two in the first place because if Shining Armor who they did so much to wasn't afraid of them, why should they be?

Public image is everything.
...I don't get it
It's not a funny way to write it for the joke, it's actually written out like that in the text it was first mentioned in. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shangri-La
Ok, nevermind.

They're still Equestria but better in every way.
Nah, Shiny just did it better than AJ did. He actually got out in public with this "See? They're not so bad" at the start, AJ just kept sending the one changeling out randomly and never being seen with any of the others or stopping the guard from harassing them. It literally took, like, two days in Canterlot for them to go 'hey, maybe they aren't so bad?' when AJ did her field trip and Ponyville was almost easy with it that day, it's just bad timing that it wasn't already fixed. If anything, what proves that they're really the same is that they immediately started wondering if Chrysalis was really still evil, even though she's saved them twice, they just didn't want to look like dicks about it while they snooped around in her stuff, all because Chrysalis didn't go out and mingle with them. They're fine with the other lings, because they do mingle, but instantly they got suspicious of the one who didn't.

Public image is everything.
Clearly, AJ should have adopted Two.

...Actually, that does sound like a pretty funky ass AU. Best fuckin' believe AJ wouldn't be standing for Anti-Changeling shit if one of them was family.
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She totally fucking would have too, if she knew how Two was living.


Name would make a ton more sense too...
Basically if literally every engaging changeling hadn't been foisted onto the Shiny train, things would have been much less Shiny-centric? Color me shocked.
Huh. You'd think Chrysalis or 18 would insist he sleep in their room....
Anon, you gotta think strategically

You get the REAL ESTATE then ya lure him in.
Where's Caddy in all this?
She just ran into the villas office and locked the door after slamming it in his face. That was the, pink blur, that he saw. She's trying not to have any fun or get any distractions.
First you get the power
Then you get the room
Then you get the Shiny
Oh, hey! We even have the suicide thing down! Just like old times
So I've just been wondering... In episodic terms, how much content do you think we have thus far? How many seasons you think? And how many episodes do you think each arc and mini-arc we've had would be?
Lots, probably. Over 100 episodes to be sure, and that's if we leave out most of the fluff. Just the first three arcs alone are enough for their own seasons. Or if we cut it down immensely and made Chityy just the season finale, two of them at least. Cordy for sure is its own season.

Maybe 6, if we did it right? Could probably cut it down to 4 if we really skimmed
I don't even know. Between the robots, the gala, the giant monster, the neverending mess that was Partyland, the freakin zombies, the move, the rescue / other invasion, and of course this recent one where AJ goes nuts, is a lot to take in. And that's not even getting into Mini's like to sleep over, or going underneath the castle, or just so many others. It would be a lot of seasons, or a lot of supplemental material.
Way too damn many. Is all I'll say
Jesus, I'm going nuts just thinking about it.

>So that was a hell of a thing.

'You lot think I'm fired? I hope I'm not fired.'

>Ahhh, she wouldn't send you out to guide us through here if she wanted to fire you.

'That's a relief.'

"Though the jury is very much in deliberation on whether or not she wants to trap us and kill us."


>Nah, I don't think so. Ya don't go through this kind of trouble just to send someone to die...well normal ponies don't...and she's actually a weird memory pony made from unnatural magic. Hey, we might die!


"Do you not know this tunnel?"

'Yeah, kinda. My aunt helped dig it back in the day and she kept the diagrams. The buggers -that's what us moles call 'em- hired us to make an escape tunnel in case their big plans for the surface went haywire...well, MORE haywire and they had to get out with their big 'ole silk sovereign in tow.'

>What the hell happened with the changelings?

'Ohhh they were high on the hog for a while. Damn near invincible with enough love, practically undetectable, and with their Princess leadin' 'em, nobody could outthink 'em. But then the Princess declared she would become a Queen and cocooned herself-'



'-an' she left her little lieutenants handle things. Unfortunately, the two best ones ended up ganked by the Morlocks and the guy they got running the show now...well he had pretty colorful ideas regardin' how to make the ponies their slaves...ya want the long version or the short version?'


'They took over every station of the the pony government. Every official from the Princess to the lowest Guard is a Changeling. But halfway through the ponies went paranoid and a rebellion happened...and they took that over too.'

>...so what, we just won?

'Welllll both sides are in deep cover, like, DEEP cover...so uh...eheh...'


'War is still goin' on, and everyone fightin' on either side is a bloody changeling. Everyone's bloody stirred up about double triple quadruple agents so they all think the one side has somehow caught on and turned a changeling against them. Meanwhile the ponies are just kinda...frolicking, farming, living the good life. It'd be funny if it weren't so bloody dumb.'

"Sounds ridiculously complicated and doomed to failure."

>...oh fuck, I think I know who's in charge of the changelings.


>That tumor? It now has competition because I am about to develop one hellllll of an ulcer. Lead on, moley.

Good night, thread
Good morning pal.
>Over 100 episodes to be sure
So enough for at least half a decade, especially the Partyland arc.
Tumors don't compete with ulcers, that's just silly!
'Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your co-host Diamond Tiara and the Pinks! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and you dream of us! Now for our main segment...PINKIE'S DREAMHOUSE: PINK PONY CLUB EDITION!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one! Hey, want to know why I have a bedroom in the dreamhouse?

'...because that's what most houses have?'


"Because you dream of having somepony to sleep in it with since you can't find anypony?"

>...ow, but no.

'We're not going to stand here and guess all night. Just tell us already.'

>It's so that when my sleep schedule is so messed up, I can go into a deeper sleep...like now!
Pinkie jumps into bed and goes to sleep.

"...what happens now? I thought there was going to be more to this."

'Beats me...um...I guess that's all for tonight because Pinkie decided to sleep in...while she's already asleep.'

Life in the dreamhouse~
You're right he/77/29 wouldn't and she isn't that stupid. But while it is funnier this way, we kinda need her to get them and not do a partyland-esc looking for someone for 5 threads.
Yep, and
>Celestia would still hate him
>Spitfire wouldn't have a place to go
>He would be working himself to death
>Sombra wouldn't have got a pass because no 2
>The Crystal army would still be full on PTSD and decked out with nice looking but impractical armor/weapons
>Mane-iac would either have been in Canterlot or fucked with Luminous Shield to no end
>He would still hate Changelings and we would have probably gave his role to Twilight/AJ in every arc
>With 42, Spike doesn't need to be the gun of Equestria
>Canterlot becomes accepting of lings with Chrysalis actively trying in the only place that will take them
>And most importantly, Cadence would never have to get past spending all the budget on lip gloss but she would still have the favor and trust of her people.
She means which would end up killing her first
>>Celestia would still hate him
That's the only thing I miss, really. And not just to spite Shiny, but because her clapbacks with Shiny were funny as all hell. Also, did she truly 'hate' him, or just find him an incompetent annoyance? I saw it as the latter, personally.
>would have probably gave his role to Twilight/AJ in every arc
>With 42, Spike doesn't need to be the gun of Equestria
I'm ok with that
It seemed like hate early on but later on after all the development it seems like what you said
Not all changes are bad Anon
You forgot
>Chrysalis never stops plotting to take over or changes her mind on ruling the place.
>Chrysalis doesn't back down during twi-crazy
>>Canterlot becomes accepting of lings with Chrysalis actively trying in the only place that will take them

Wouldn't Canterlot accepting them lead to other towns in Equestria doing that as well? I mean it's one thing for the crystal utopia in the far north to do it, but the place that they actively tried to attack doing it would be far more effective.

Public image is everything.
Oh I didn't, but we had Pre-CE Bitch realize she couldn't do it. As long as she is caffeinated she is smart enough to know she can't win and she won't know about the heart so she won't have a way around not getting Shiny love

Also there is NO Twi-Crazy. Because Twi-Crazy is her guilt for Chitty arc, which only started because Chrysalis was telling Shiny about the other queens. No Shiny love, no Chitty, No Airhead Twilight.

Went small ball because RAWR NO OCs.
If No OC's then wouldn't we have to not include 2 and 42?

Or is that actually no 'Approved' OC's?
>She didn't know about the heart

Not like it's going to stay hidden all that long. Then she's going to start plotting and never stop until she gets a hold of it, only this time she's not going to be trying not to blow up certain people, she's going to be worried about takin over, which she can do now. She's going to devote all her time to stealing that thing.

And the Chitty arc happened because she was suspicious of chrysalis, Shiny just showed her where Chitty was thanks to chrysalis asking him to go check on her, she could have done that herself just as easily and set the whole thing off.
More, We can't go to new places because named characters don't exist there Than cull are current lot.

Okay, who does she tel the story to to go check if she is still dead so Twilight can be suspicious and go release her? In fact without Shiny we don't have stupid changeling powers or movie night so Chitty doesn't even become a concept. And she didn't ask him, HE wanted to check.

I mean I know you want her to be evil but she wasn't even that much of a bitch or that good at scheming until she left Canterlot. She was just an idiot watching romance movies and content not to do anything.
No, she asked him to go check because she didn't want to look suspicious by going out and leaving her self. That whole, whether or not she would even exist, that's a bit meta so bringing that up is kind of a moot point. And she was always good at scheming obviously, she just didn't get her drive back until she had a way to win. He just kind of gave up when discord kicked her ass. She wouldn't have him to go check on the ice in this timeline, but she still wanted to do it, so she would still be under suspicion by Twilight, and the whole thing will get set off anyway. Assuming that the guy who wrote that had the same idea of course.

She wasn't content not to do anything, she had given up because she didn't think she could win. With the heart, that all changes.
Okay, smartass. Pick a pony in Canterlot to plop in Shiny's spot. One she can trust enough to share with, (Twilight was the only other one she shared anything with early thread as she let her do medical research). Because this entire discussion is a Meta "What if we just kept lings away from Canada" saying "Well that's meta it doesn't count" is not an argument. Just face the fact that the ling you love to hate wouldn't be a threat, Twilight wouldn't almost kill everyone, Changelings wouldn't be the root of all problems, and AJ would have all the development.
>I mean I know you want her to be evil but she wasn't even that much of a bitch or that good at scheming until she left Canterlot


Search for >My most loyal minions, I am in need of your services.

She was actively trying to capture the CE.
You mean the plan of "Fuck Shiny" You know, the guy we aren't having them interact with.
If we treat the filler as filler eps and include the fact that we have the first 78 episodes of FiM in our canon as well huh....
Being that the res of season 4 is only 13 eps and we only get 26 a season Add to it we need to edit the format to be 1hr long and have Soap Opera esc bouncing around and we get
>rest of Season 4
Opening, Pit-mini, 77 story is CMC episodes and end at the end of Blueblood's insurrection
>Season 5
Starts with the Gala 2.0, mid-season is gun club fights, Chitty's release and defeat end the season
>Season 6
Pommel replaces 77 as CMC episodes, starts with getting Arana, season ends with Partyland setup
>Season 7
> Season 8
Fillydelphia fight, 18 mini, all the cordy hints from early thread to now are just put in episodes during this season to make it a continuous slow burn end with that dipshit hitting 88 with a Changeling infusion
>Season 9
thread 50 is episode 1, Pommel end episode 2, the rest of the season is Cordy and aftermath, ends with AJ leaving the farm
>Season 10
First 3 Eps is her return and Glimmer&NTL’s baby, Mid-season is Spitfire fight and Sunset arrival, season ends with Chrysalis and Hallucinated Chitty after Pommel’s elevation the captain
>Season 11
Everything from Armbreak to Rage-mode
>Season 12
First half is 12 and Varry, second half is Sunset and Christmas
>season 13
DnD&Wonderbolts are first half, everything to the end of thread 99, thread 100 ends the season
>Season 14
Thread 101 to AJ’s speech in full power armor
>Season 15
Setup and Beach arc
So at the end of this arc we should have 377 episodes.
>Pick a pony in Canterlot to plop in Shiny's spot.

I can't, none of them fit, so she would go check herself, which means Twilight would be extra suspicious of her, which means she would still get followed, which means she would still let Chitty out.

If we kept the lings from Canada, then Chrysalis's gag becomes about trying to break in there and steal the Heart.

>Just face the fact that the ling you love to hate wouldn't be a threat,


>Twilight wouldn't almost kill everyone,
Assuming the guy didn't have the same idea, the setup is there, Twilight just doesn't feel AS bad afterwards, and thus misses out on her development.

>Changelings wouldn't be the root of all problems,

Yes they would, as Chrysalis's gags were still pretty damn prevalent wellllll before she moved over there. Like, she was pretty much second billing from thread 2 on.

>and AJ would have all the development.

...From what?

Her just going "Alright, stop worryin' about the changelings!" isn't development, especially not early thread, it's her telling everyone what to do again because she wants her way again and is too stubborn to do anything else.

And I only say "Going all meta if the idea would exist at all" is moot is because, you know... maybe things just get boring with no conflict and the thread ends after the gala, because nothing else really gets set up and without Chrysalis's parts there's no 32 or whatever, so maybe interest just wanes because it's all about Spike right then, and he clearly didn't manage to really hold on to the spotlight or peoples attention, and this whole thing just ends around thread 10. Going down if someone would have an idea or not is a dangerous road.

> You know, the guy we aren't having them interact with.
So then she does something else to get the Heart? Which... is what we're talking about, yes.

She'd still go after it, and never stop trying to take over, is the point.
This all looks good, just one slight change.

>Season 6
Pommel replaces 77 as CMC episodes, starts with getting Arana, second half is Hunt for Chitania and Trainfight, season ends with Partyland setup after the fight
>she sent him because she didn't want be suspicious If she doesn't have him she suddenly doesn't care about raising suspicion
That is what you said
>the setup is there regardless
except literally everything but Twilight doesn't like her
>Changelings have to be causing everything bad
Blueblood, Flim and Flam, Fawntine, Stallingrad, Pennydrop, Gryphons, Pirates, the populous. All could be motivated without bugs
>AJ would develop because she would solve it instatly
No, she would get development because everyone would gravitate to her and Spike by default.
Speaking of Spike, I already had 42 being taken in by Equestria instead of the empire and supplementing Spike, So he doesn't get pigeonholed into "Asshole with a gun"
She didn't know about the heart until she was already there, her plan until that point was fuck Shiny, drain him, and win. and so what if she gets the heart, she is all powerful for 10 mins and then dies because no one gives enough of a fuck about her to revive her.

You're clearly baiting at this point. I'm done with you.
I forgot about the Trainfight, good looking out.
>Blueblood, Flim and Flam,

Those would happen regardless, the setup was pre-Chrysalis even.

>Changelings have to be causing everything bad

Didn't say that, just saying that nobody really cared about setting anything up with them or continuing with them early thread, so saying "Well, maybe this guy didn't have this idea" is the same principal.

>No, she would get development because everyone would gravitate to her and Spike by default.

First, that didn't answer my question of 'from what?" but i'm not getting one for that, clearly.

Second You mean Spike. Not Spike and AJ, Spike. Which is what we did, the not-CE writer guys gravitated towards Spike and made him the star of the Canterlot side, and essentially made AJ a side character in the arcs while he was there. There's still nothing saying she'd get development and not just be right all the time while Spike goes out and does all the arc stuff.

Speaking of, I kind of wonder if we would have gotten that hugeSpike VS Chitania fight in this timeline... I mean, if we did he'd win because he's the hero, but still might've been cool.

>Speaking of Spike, I already had 42 being taken in by Equestria instead of the empire and supplementing Spike, So he doesn't get pigeonholed into "Asshole with a gun"

Why? The tournament happens anyway, Chrysalis and the Lings had no effect on that, so he still gets put in that role.

>and so what if she gets the heart, she is all powerful for 10 mins and then dies because no one gives enough of a fuck about her to revive her.

Reasonable... if we have the same ideas.

See the problem? Why is that the same for Chrysalis, but the one guy never dreams up a dino-changeling? The burnout wasn't ever hinted in show canon, so why is this a thing?

>You're clearly baiting at this point. I'm done with you.

I have no idea what gave you that idea, but okay.
>You're clearly baiting at this point. I'm done with you.

Awww man come on, the discussion was so friendly up till here.

Don't be that guy and ruins it. This was fun!
1) was there two of you?
2) I have been told to contain my autism when the conversation starts to become Queen bug centric.
3) the heart being a power item for lings was ALSO our idea. As it was hope, not love, powered in show.
I agree, I think he just got a little jumpy because of past arguments, no need to really hold it against him. Come on, we have gotten pretty passionate in some past threads, it's understandable.

That said, one thing he brought up was 42 taking Spike's place... would that have meant no A-team in this timeline, or what?

Like, does this also mean that 56 never goes down to Ponyville and DT never gets Tabbbleable?

...I cannot believe there is so much shit in those first few threads for setup...
>Entire point of the thread was to give AJ character development
>Thread 117

Ladie and gentlemen, the biggest waste of time in linear time.
>1) was there two of you?


>2) I have been told to contain my autism when the conversation starts to become Queen bug centric.


3) the heart being a power item for lings was ALSO our idea. As it was hope, not love, powered in show.

Ehhh, it was kinda vague with just 'good emotions' in general, and love magic specifically hurt Sombra. Concept still works.

56 was sent down by AJ, so DT being Mareguyver still happens.
Actually the point of this thread was to counter-troll an asshole claiming alicorn AJ for the Season 4 finale by taking the concept and running with it.
>Country Farmer becomes political leader
>Has no idea what the hell she's doing
>Things generally get worse

AJ is Jimmy Carter?
>>Entire point of the thread was to give AJ character development

...Who the fuck told you that?

No, seriously, go back to thread one, and you tell me this was about giving AJ development. Hell, go to thread SEVEN and tell me that.

This was 'Equestria is fucking broken, lets make fun of it... heh, all these jokes are connected... keep building it, this is fun!... Oh wow, Chrysalis is entertaining!... Hey, what if we did like... a whole story with this?' And then it just never stopped.

This was always about the world, man. The world.
Ah, my apologies, it's just every time I scroll past this thread, every post just appears to relate to how she doesn't have development (or as much development as Chrysalis) and this has been going on for how long now?
The problem with the development is a lot of writers didn't want AJ to have any real conflict (hence the AJ is always right meme) but was fine with nearly killing Chrysalis every other arc. Without any real conflict to build her, the development stopped for awhile after "wants to fuck Spike and distrusts Chrysalis" which was thread 10. While said bug was in every conflict and got developed because of it.
She's going deeper.
>Stopped for a while
>Thread 10
>Thread 117
>STILL not developed as well apparently


You guys really shit the bed.

Good luck with that.

>Okay, Jackie, THINK! THINK!... Okay, just gotta use the old Pirate wit here. Yeeeahhh, gotta get back into the groove. I can find this out... first up, gotta hit me a bar, yeah, hit me a place where a guy's gonna know a guy, then they can tell me who's been seen with a ling or two. Oh yeah, then I just gotta shake someone down, get some names and faces, shouldn't be too hard. Maybe gotta spend a bit or two, but I can manage. Then I just gotta make it into their houses to confirm, should be... I dunno, flakes? Do aliens shed? Looks like they should shed flakes or something. There's gotta be traces left behind. Then I just gotta look at what they own... which I don't know, because I don't know what they're like, cause I spent like two minutes with them and one of them was all sad and shit... should not have been quick to run. But no problem! I can do this! I can find who knows the changelings!

"Which ones?"


"Hi, names Berry Punch, can I help you? You're standing in the middle of the street talking to yourself about changelings."

>Er... do you know who the two changelings that live here hang out with? I need to tell them something.

"Cheerliee, that's the teacher of the school over there, and the mayor, she lives over there."





>...Well, holy shit! You just saved me a bunch of time! Thanks!

"Awww, no problem!"

>No, really, you're the best. Thanks!

"Well, I do try to help."



"...O-oh, no hug? I um... you were coming in like you were going to give a hug there... was hoping for a hug too much?... Probably too much... you already left and I'm just talking to myself now... I just wanna feel loved..."
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It's too late.

We're too far deep slurping from the OC titties of the changelings and living our weeb fantasies by giving SHining a PG 13 harem.

I want it to not be like this, it's not right.
Keyword. Apparently, to some. If you actually paid attention to this series you'd know we typically bitch about AJ and her development and Chrysalis and her changelings.

That's our nature, that's what we do. It's never serious, just our way of venting. We talk, we deal, we move on.

Case in point. Thank you, anon.
aww Berry. Someone give Drunk pone a hug.

>...I'm noticing a flaw in the location they've sent us to.

"Really? You're only noticing this now."

>It's more it just hit me how bad an idea this was... Chrysalis? That isn't going to help.


>No, what's stupid is strapping on yet another floaty to yourself if you're not planning to go in the water.

[WHY WOULD THEY SEND US HERE!?... Oh, crap, are they trying to kill us!?]

"Only if they think you're dumb enough not to know you can't swim... Chrysalis, might want to stay back."


"Her swearing when Two is around is adorable."

>Come on, it's not so bad!


>It's just a little-


>I'm not... Two, no, you can't surf.

^But I wanna!^




>Stop rubbing it in.


'We are now enemies.'

[I'm losing your paycheck paperwork!]

{I will punch you the MOMENT you get away from that deep... endless... c-cold... so cold... so cold....}

>...Forty Two?


>Bring it back, come on.

{GAH!... I mean, punches or something.}

>I feel like this was a mistake.

"Strangely, I do not."



^...Wait, Ah' thought Shiny said that was the shallow end?^




...the image of Two carrying around a little surfboard is adorable.
>Unable to write favourite pone because depression has been creeping back and I don't know how to stop it.

I am suffering /pa/
>Wait...where'd Sombra go?

^Over there, Shiny.^



>...h-how's he keeping the surfboard from...

^Don't question it, Shiny.^

>Good idea.

>Hello? Misses teacher pony? I need ta' tell you something....



"Class is out for the day."

>Can see that.

"So sorry."

>Not your fault.



"Did you have something you wished to ask?"

>...where's your skin?

"Oh... I've misplaced it, I'm afraid."

>Uh... huh...


>...Have a good one.

"You too, miss!"


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If fav pone not enough to break depression, maybe not fav pone? Maybe try new pone break depression?
Oh we are NOT going there, my friend. We most certainly are not, so you can take your bundle of pink and bake it into a delicious pie for apple pone to eat.
Depression no worko like that friend

"...What are you doing?"

>It's called sunbathing, darling, try it!


>Yes, Twilight dear?

"...I... I don't..."


"You do know that you can't..."


"It's just... do I really have to explain this!?"

>Explain what?

"That you can't tan..."


"...Without proper sunscreen?"

>Oh, how silly of me! Get my back, would you?

"Don't crush her dreams, Twilight... don't crush her dreams."
I could totally see her trying that too.
>I've seen weirder.
Damn it, Daw, get back in there and tell her about the vacation!
>nd I'm assuming they're ponies

Huh. Has Daw ever met a Zebra before?
She's ostensibly been all over either as a pirate or traveling with Pommel. It stands to reason if she knows camels, she'd know zebras.
>It stands to reason if she knows camels, she'd know zebras.

WOW, Buddy! Racist much?

Because of course all them other species just hang out all the time, if you seen one you seen 'em all!

No but seriously, has she ever said she saw/met a zebra? Don't wanna conflict with canon because of a gag.
I'm just saying, if she knows all these obscure ass racists what's his face pulled out for no real reason, she'd probably know what a zebra is. Pommel anon probably just couldn't be bothered to write rhyming dialogue for his novel.
...races, obscure ass races.

You know what I mean.
>You know what I mean.

I know what you REALLY mean, yes.


It wasn't awkward at all.

Nothing awkward about the Titan and the being who was once a demon who blew a hole in her sitting side by side, not at all.

Nothing at all.

>...Is there a particular reason you're hanging around me?


>There had better be.

"There isn't, you're just near the statue. I like the statue, it reminds me of my old school."


"...They like your friend."

>I notice she's pretty popular.

"Maybe you should stay here forever then and stop messing around in Canterlot."

>Maybe you should go fuck yourself.

"Pffft, not like I would even feel it."

>Not my problem.

"...I'm not supposing you have Applejack detecting powers, do you?"




"...wanna talk about science?"


"Yeah, didn't think so."


"...This is awkward."

>Yeah, little bit.
She hasn't but it stands to reason she has. But if you want to do a "The Fuck are you" gag, go for it.
Ssssh, the time for development will come later. For now let our Apple Princess frolic in the waves. She deserves it.

Others will say she does not, but screw them. I will not make the Apple Princess suffer ON A BEACH! I am not a monster.

>...Huh. That ain't good. Okay, Daw, think. Why would there be a ton of guards snooping around inside of the mayors office... well, obvious answer is someone killed her. Whelp! That solves some problems!


>...Can I help you, buddy?... Oh hey! You're one of the guards, guy I'm banging is your boss.

"What the fuck did you just say!?"

>I said the guy I'm banging-


>Hm?... Oh! I said if someone killed the mayor, it solves a lot of problems.


>Cause I don't have to find her and invite her on the vacation.


>I see the confusion.


>...So is the mayor dead?

"She... she left already, the administration is currently under investigation, and last we saw she was getting on a train out of town."


"Little suspicious when you think about it, but she was drunkenly screaming that we're all a bunch of ingrates or something, and the investigation so far isn't turning anything up, sooooo..."

>...Well, shit. Which way did the train go?

"That a way?"

>... isn't that the Crystal Empire line?

"I think so?"


"Uncalled for, they're nice ponies."


"...Yeah, they're kinda hard to look at, being all sparkly, you got the right idea."



"...nice talking to you!"
Wait, you still left Cheeri...fucking Pirate.

Ok, fine.

She tries to develop the plant powers with kelp.

You're welcome, I take my payment in checks and ketchup packets.
>AJ accidentally magics some bizarre seaweed/cthulu monster into being.
>AJ and the Mane 6 now have a real fight on their hands
Reading these brings me back to this >>26038015 Just something that needs to be yelled out every now and again. Sometimes necessary, sometimes unnecessarily. It's but one of our many meme's.
>The Six have to create a sand golem to fight it.
>Godzilla's wife is just off to the side looking very confused
>Spike just shoots it
>Which actually works for once
>>Godzilla's wife is just off to the side looking very confused
>every time the fight looks like it might head near the ocean and her children she casually suggests they keep it on land









"-Berg? Seriously? That's gotta be the lamest name-bit to name a sand fort with"

'It sounds like burp! How's that meant to be intimidating'

>...Cos...Cos Ah' built mine the biggest!

'No it isn't, mine is!'

>Without using any planks

"Mines taller than yours!"

>-And not compensating fer anythin'

"Excuse me?"

'....Waaaaait a tic, did you just... cover as much of the beach in your own turf and steal all the land?



>Yeah well it worked back in the Administrisations games Ah' played Shinin' at, so it'll work juss' fine here, so HA!


'Oh noooo, what ever am I going to d- WATER TSAR BOMB!'

Over the sandy ramparts flung a horribly destended balloon, bulging and creaking with water, sea shells, kelp and seaweed flying through the air towards Applejack with all the grace of a fat stroke victim.

>Oh no ya don't! Not this time!

Applejack's horn ignited in red sparks, this time she'd use her magic properly, she'd stop that stupid balloon right in mid air, then chuck it back at Pinkie, that'll show her-


The balloon however, was waaaay heavier than it looked

"Uhh.... wow"

Instead of plummetting quickly through the air onto the Princess, the balloon sort of ambled, awkwardly towards the ground, where AJ experienced the cascading emotions of regret and futility.

'Ohhhhhh, so that's what it looks like in slow motion.'

The balloon didn't so much fall onto AJ, as much as each individual roll slowly folded onto her, still dumbstruck by her strained attempts to arrest it's movement completely.

"That's, wow, that's weird, is it gonna-"







Applejack just stood there, soaked, and looking like an ugly rendition of a classic painting of a Merpony

>...Why must it be this way

She said as she spat out a soggy lump of kelp,
Why must war tear us all apart...

Can't we all just feel... the magic of friendship?
Do you want to help Cheerilee get her skin back? Cause I don't.
We sure that was even Cheer?

Could have just been a demon.

>Come on... come on...

She was trying.

She was really, really trying.

She had her brow furrowed, she had not looked away from the paper for a moment, she was trying, she really was.

But still thinking about it was so hard.

All these numbers, all these facts, all these words, she could only barely make sense of them. All this information about percentages of taxation on goods ranging from Crystal Berries to even a slight cost of production tax on Flugelhorns to minimize the environmental damage done during production, things about which roads need which particular blend of crystal because mixing them is apparently dangerous and all the different jobs needed to finish just a single pothole, so many numbers, so many words so long she couldn't pronounce them, so many.

She tried, she really tried to focus on them, but all she could hear were the cries of joy, the laughter, the fun just outside her door. The one in a lifetime event of hearing Shiny tell Two not to get on a surfboard, something she could only visualize as she heard the scraping of what was doubtlessly a massively oversized board across the floor, but not see for herself.

She tried to focus, she really did.

Because she knew if she moved that desk out of the way like she wanted to, like she truly wanted to, she wouldn't ever put it back.

She wouldn't come back into this room, period.

She tried.

For once in her life, she really tried.

...And it was making her wish she didn't.
someone help her
...are there intelligence enhancing spells? It would make sense given that there are literally age spells in canon.
>intelligence enhancing spells
Sounds an awful lot like cheating to me, anon.
Chrysalis has coffee, cadence can have some intelligence boosters
Probably, but no way are they permanent/don't have terrible downsides.
... When is the last time she used that anyway?

Also, Chrysalis's thing was learning not to need it, so...
Not that anon but I miss Coffeelis. One part funny, one part tension, whole part yes. Part of the main reason I started to like Chrysalis in the first place.

Now she trains herself in secret, ain't it? Or has anything changed since her run-in with Luna that while back?
I like her more when it's not just a video game powerup, that she actually applied herself and now is as dangerous as she was on Coffee, but all the time, and still her cackling self is way better than it was.

Always hated those instant boost things in storytelling, felt lazy.
Meh, to each his own. Not saying this way isn't fine, I just preferred the silly that came with it.
Agreed, can't knock the classic "seemingly inept one is suddenly dangerous" trope, it does work, just my preferance.

>... Did you make a boat out if driftwood?

"Twience never sleeps, Spike."

>Uh huh... Pinkie will just shoot you down if you try to escape.

"W-whaaaa? Me? Escape? Nahhh."


"....let me dream."
>someone help her

That's the problem, everyone did.

When she slipped in her duties Shining covered for her, when he got overwhelmed 18 covered for her so she didn't have to help, when she needed to haggle to keep her shopping numbers down Chrysalis covered for her, when she needed someone to find the Crystal Heart or prepare everything for the Equestrian Games representative that was inexplicably meeting with them THAT DAY, Twilight covered for her. Everyone always has to cover for her and help her so she doesn't have to handle it.

Now she has to handle it, on her own, because nobody can just make her understand this, she has to actually work and understand it herself.

And it's hard.
okay, let me rephrase that
someone help her understand, give her and 18 a heart to heart moment while they're figuring out what makes her learn, because she memorizes shit like how to do makeup and plans her whole day out with spa visits and shit like it's nothing. she must have SOME organizational skill, she just needs to figure out how to apply it to this, and 18 can help her learn that.
Given the two parties are at the same beach, what's the diagram of their lodgings?

Like, are they on opposite ends of an island or something? That it? I'm trying to figure this out for future stories.
Dude. Friendo. Bro.

Some fruends just cant be taught. For 18, it's a talent. Some are born with it.

Thats the difference between a prodigy and the average jane. The average shmuck has to.make up for it with hard work, dedication and the occasional al setback.

What you seem to want is an instant solution, so she stops beating herself up over it. But it's far more satisfying and likely to stick if she overcomes this on her own. The best you can do is write her making step by step progress at this point, or else it'll all be moot.
>Puerto Burro

Since the other two parties are in the middle of enjoying themselves, should we speed up the third party going to their spot before Daw looking for everyone drags out too much?
A fair point

She had spent the last 10 minutes staring at this paper.
this one, simple paper.
>I have to do this
She read it over again, it was a requisition for materials to repair a piece of the stadium, all she had to do was fill out the amount of material they needed and sign it.
That's all, just put a little number in there and sign it.
>I can do this
she looked over the pages of calculations she had done, the books she had looked over for information on this, it had all been carefully put together, and she finally had her number
>127 kilograms of pure crystal, sign it, and done!
she slapped it into the "done" pile, which contained one other sheet of paper
>Next! uhh...
she looked at the pile of paperwork she had brought with her, and died a little inside
>is this growing?
Think two california beaches.

Same coastline on a massive land structure, just spaced out so far that they're literally miles apart.

Theoretically, they could be within two miles of each other for line of sight to be just enough they can't see(to do a "If we just walked half a mile we could have seen that!?" from the Main Six for a gag if you want), or more if we want that. It's up to you, just same coastline and far apart enough they don't have direct line of sight.
Atta. I like it.

Just clean up the spacing next time, and it's a perfect little insight on her improving her game bit by bit.
>didn't realize the implications of "Is this growing?"

She had not stopped crying since they got on the train. Nor had she let her ice cream tub go.

How it had not run out was a mystery to them all.


'Is she going to do this the whole trip?'

"She needs her moment, let her have a bit. Though if you reach for that ice cream, you will lose your hoof for it."

'Trixie is hungry!'


"You're not dear, of course you are not! It is just shocking reveal, given them a shot. Your work will be recognized, of that I am sure. Just wait, and let time be the cure."

She sniffled, leaning into the kind pat on her shoulder from her zebra companion, and soon into a gentle hug.

>...I-I'm not a bad mayor anymore, I'm noooot...

"There there... take care..."

'...So can Trixie get some of that-'

That Zecora could throw a pillow without moving the mayor in her grasp at all spoke of nothing less than perfect skills.



All three went still, and silent, when the tapping began.


When it picked up speed, they were still no more. Finding the source was easy.

Keeping their cool when the mashed face pressed against the glass, not so much.

>GAH!... What the fuck!?



Too late, fireworks a plenty exploded out, shattering the glass, and knocking away the one on the other side.

'The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie wins again!'


'Wha-OH SHIT!'

For all her magic, for all her power, she was still frozen and helpless when the mare on the other side, singed and quite angry, charged in. She could do nothing to stop the charge, nothing at all.


That fell to the striped foreleg that locked onto her mid flight and effortlessly flipped her around and back out the train.


'...Trixie could have handled that.'

>She's coming back!


Come back she did, now covered in branches and dirt, wings pumping with a fury.




Trixie fell to her knees in sadness, reaching out as the mare disappeared once again, this time covered completely in ice cream.

'You... you monster! It wasn't worth the cost! IT WASN'T WORTH THE COOOOSSTTTT!'

>Trixie? Crystal Empire sells Ice Cream.

'Y-you promise?'

>I promise.

'Oh... kay...'

They sat in silence, and mourned their fallen confectionery treat.


>Oh come on!

Once more, now covered in ice cream, branches, dirt and quite a lot of bugs, the mare flew next to the now destroyed window.

>What is your deal!?

~You wanna know what my deal is!? WANNA KNOW WHAT MY FUCKIN' DEAL IS!?~

She crawled inside the shattered window, like a monster emerging from a nightmare. As one, they all three stood together, poised, ready for another attack, ready to take on any foe.

As allies.

~MY FUCKIN' DEAL IS... Pommel wants to know if you guys wanna go on a vacation.~


~Yeah, Pommel's friend alien roped the patchy one-~

>Seventy Seven?

~-that one- into going on a trip, and then Pommel wanted to go and the alien said he was bringing on your pal-~


~-that one-, and they wanted to invite you cause you're their buddies or something... up for it? I think he just doesn't want it to be a sausage fest, but eh.~

>...Niney is going, right?

~Whether he wants to or not, apparently.~

>...Meh, I'm down. You girls down?

"Of course! This is just what we need to take our minds off the troubles at home. I can think of no better time when all of us should go and roam."

'Trixie didn't bring her sunscreen, will that be a problem?'

~No fuckin' clue, what's Trixie look like?~

'...Trixie hates that joke.'

~What joke?~

"You must give some space, Trixie my friend. Your method of speech is unique on their end."

~The fuck? Why do you rave ponies always gotta talk funny?~


>...she's a zebra.


~Oh... OHHHHH, doy, thought those marks were like tattoos or.... huh. So, wait, is the Mohawk a zebra thing?~


~Do all Zebras talk funny? I can't remember ever hearing anyone say they talked like fricken kids book bout a funny cat.~


~...Do all Zebras have that mark, or is it a cutie mark thing?~


~... I don't feel bad, I'm not racist. Some of my best friends were dogs.~


~D-...diamond Dogs, not.. not the...~


~I'm not comparin' you to a...~


~...Ahem, so you all down?~

>Well... I was planning to stay in the Empire for my vacation, but... I guess I can do that next year. Zecora? You still good?


~Ha! Now she stops...~


'Even Trixie thinks that was silly.'


'This is gonna be a loooong trip.'

~Uh... Bout to get longer. Anyone know how to get back to Ponyville to tell who's his oneyed face's fiance that we're leaving? He wanted to bring her.~

>Cheerilee? But.. she's on the train, she's just in the bathroom right now, I wasn't going to leave without my old friend when her fiance is in another country.

~...then... then who was...~


~...Nevermind. Ain't askin' shit about that place.~

>School house?



~Whelp, in that case, we're off to Puerto Burro! Wooo!~



>You uh... might want to get cleaned up.



~Oh, if you think this is bad, try living on a ship for a couple months... this smell is almost like home.~

"...Who's paying for that window-"


She crashed back out, already flying before another word could be said.

"-because it was caused by Trixies lightshow."

>Should we call her back?


>...You need a hug?


>There there...

'...Who the fuck was that mare?'

>"NO idea."

'Just checking...'
Damn it, Daw.

You have made a powerful enemy today.
The undercard for 32 vs Sweet Note is filling out ever so nicely.
>Zecora will remember this
Whelp, guess that answers that.
>War...war never changes...we all tried to claim our own piece of land, but our ideals...well mostly architecture designs would clash. Soon it spun out of control and the ones that came out on top were Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie...and they called themselves, the Queens of the Hill, ruling from their sandy tower, but it was not the end as they predicted. It was simply another chapter of-
A water balloon pops on Spike's face.

"Spike get down!"

Squirts of water shoot down from the center tower of the sand castle.
Spike ducks behind the cover of a sand wall.

"Oooh if only I read up on water fights before we came."

Fluttershy gets into a fetal position.
'I only wanted to make a greenhouse...and a chicken coop...and a rabbit hutch...and a turtle...maybe an amphitheater...my penguin army was pretty cute...oh dear, that might actually have been a lot.'

[This is no time to be cowering, Fluttershy. We the rebel alliance will topple their regime!]
[Can't you use your chaos powers to get those penguins moving or something? We could use an army.]

Fluttershy concentrates, but a water balloon falls nearby splashing her. Fluttershy's horn flops.
'It's no use, I can't get them up and moving. I can't work like this.'

[Of all the times to have performance anxiety.]

"We control the water hose. All we need to do is keep the siege up and they'll have to run out of water eventually."

~Meanwhile on the tower~
{Big Apple to Red Lobster, what's yer status? Over.}

Rarity is wearing a red rubber cap from popped balloons and aims down with a huge water gun.
=Krrsh, Red Lobster here. I've got my sights on them and keeping them pinned. They're probably trying to come up with a strategy, over.=

{Roger roger, Red Lobster. Pink One, how are we doing on water balloons? Over.}

+Pinkie One reporting. Thanks to our water pump and hose that connects to the ocean, we've got plenty of water balloons. I'm loading more water balloons into the mortars now, over.+

{Copy that, Pink One, fire mortars on their position when ready, over.}

+Krrsh, roger roger!+


=Splashdown, darling.=

{Woooo, good hit, good hit, Pink One. They're scattering. We are the Queens of this Hill.}

Ahhhhh, hahaha, nice.
Such lives... such horror...

And they're totally fucking losing with the most powerful mare in Equestria on their side.
>Rarity is wearing a red rubber cap from popped balloons and aims down with a huge water gun.

Because of course she is. Couldn't go a beach arc without that reference.
Kinda wish we hadn't made AJ such a paper savant, this is pretty interesting stuff.
How quickly friendship breaks down. Soon, they will control the pickles.

Would make you know who looked kind of silly if that were the case...
Missing the point that by the time they head back to the empire she will be completely past this problem and doing paperwork like the rest of them. Even if Canon real time it has been a week.
Soundproofing spells. You have soundproofing spells
Everyone of them but Pinkie can fly or use magic to get them out or both. Heck Dash&Twilight could have ran down Centitrian to get their shit.
But anon, Pinkie Pie is winning .
Let the anons have their Rarity fights giant crabs humor. Or is this referencing the book fort comic with rarity wearing a lobster on her head.
>Heck Dash&Twilight could have ran down Centitrian to get their shit.

They didn't see which way she went, she kicked up a dust storm and was gone. Seeing how fast she is, if they don't know her direction following her would be impossible. They'd be more likely to get lost.
Good night, thread.

'Shouldn't be long now, mum. If I remember it right, this should put us in an alcove in the Queen's Court.'

>Oh thank goodness, I am getting so tired of stumbling around in the dark.

"Are you-?"

>Yes I'm speaking figuratively. We get up there, we hob nob with these idiots-who I'm realizing are probably idiots because I think they're idiots, how's that for a mindfuck?- get the help we need, go chop us down a mushroom, and get my eyes back...what the hell is my life right now?

"Very odd?"

'Bollocksed beyond all reason?'

>Yeah those.

-And it's simply why you have to die!-

>Oh fuck, what now?

-Your crimes against the Hive have grown too much to bear! If there is any justice in this world, any at all, I will see you executed this day!-

'Oh hey, that's coming from above us, we must be there!'

>I know that voice...

~Oh spare me your nonsense! We both know how this is going to end, you're just leaving yourself blind to the truth! So help me Love I shall drag you and any who will listen kicking and screaming to enlightenment!~

>Aaaand that voice.

"Aha, I have found where the tunnel lets out! We need only push this stone thing out of the way."

>Welp, time to go from dumb to stupid in two seconds flat, gimme some help with this...


-32, how do you plea!?-

~Not guil...ty...~

-Aha! Let it please the court that the accused has shown hesitation with his protests at last! Truly this is a sign he is guilty!-

~You fool, look behind you!~

-Ha, think such a thing will distract me? Try to run and the guard shall run...you...through...-

>Hey 32.


>And hello to you too, 50.

It was the bookfort comic.
good night
Morning, buddy.
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we bake delicious pies! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!


>Tell me, do you want apple pie, or pink pie?

"What's in the pink pie?"

Pinkie gives a sultry look.

Applejack wakes up and sees Pinkie in her bed.
She gives a mischievous smile.
>Was I delicious?

AJ rolls over to face the other way.
She rolls back and Pinkie's gone.
"...what just happened?"
Fun facts:
1) Regardless of what AJ picked there was going to be pie in both.
2)I was quite tempted to crop this image
for use, but didn't want to risk it.
Oh mmmmyyyyyy~
Dammit Takei!
How much you want to bet they don't even look like changelings?

>Bad news everyone, it ain't lupus.

'OH NO!'

~I... I have brought shame to you all.~

(Erm... that's a good thing?)

>No it ain't!
"It's awful!"
'The worst!'

~Wow, angling this sword to my chest is really hard.~

(...what do you think Lupus is, exactly, and why are you sad your dog doesn't have it?)

>Yer' tellin' me mah' dog ain't got no wolf in her!


"Canis Lupus, the most common form of wolf in the canine family."

'They're known for sturdier bodies than the average dog, more aggression, and better natural instincts.'




[Machine of much vending has stolen from her!]

(Riiiiiight... that's not what Lupus is, Lupus is an inflammatory disease.)


>Well, shoot, glad she ain't got that.

"So what does she have?"

(Looks like it's just a rash from some irritation. Has she been rolling in any gravel lately?)




>Alright, girl! Just a little more fightin' and we can afford a trainticket out of here!



>...Yep! You know dogs! Just... rollin' around, playin'...

"Dodging wolves with knives in their mouths."

(What was that?)



>So, how much is this gonna cost?

(Oh, this? Pffft, think nothing of it, it was barely even an examination! I'm just happy she's... where's my vending machine?)

[THIS IS VEKIR'S NOOOOOOooooooowwwww...]

>...We're gonna have ta' pay fer' that one, ain't we?

>...Whelp! Hope yer' all limbered up, Winona!
>...F-for playin'! And not pitfightin'!
>....Here's twenty bits.
(Didn't see anything.)

"Detrot is weird."
The odyssey is fucking nuts.

>You ever worry we're not a kind, gentle glorious land?


'Pinkie? Where do I put the biological weapons?'

>Next to the fortress to detain any POWS!

'Of course!'


"...Seems good to me!"

>That's what I thought, but it never hurts to check! LAUNCH THE LEGOS!

Oh shit just got serious.
>Pinkie would later be charged with several war crimes and sentenced to hanging.
>She would later still slip out of such hanging claiming "It was funny"
>this is literally the CMC odyssey
oh my god I thought I couldn't lose my sides any more
Kinda ironic they've been to more places, and seen more races, then our political main characters...

They're second only to Chitania and 88 in places they've been.
>~Wow, angling this sword to my chest is really hard.~
My fucking sides.

Giving Winona a weapon was one of our greater moments.
Friendly reminder that neither AJ or Rarity know that AB and SB are gone.
>they just show up on the beach
>how'd ya find us?!

>Spike? You know you’re our number one assistant and we would never ever doubt your abilities to get the job done-

“Never. We’d never do that. Anything we need, we rest easy knowin’ y’all can handle it, sugarcube… it’s jus’….

‘Just… what? What’s just? What?’

>It’s been awfully nice eating what we have so far, you know-

“An’ yer' soy cubes're powerful delicious wit’ some seasonin’ an’ whatnot….”

>It’s just…

‘There it is again. Just what? What’re you trying to say?’

>It’s just… we’re kind of on a beach, right?

‘No, not kind of, we are.’

>Right, right, sooooo… with beaches usually come fish. Tasty… flavorful… fish….

Spike had never seen Twilight drool like that before.

“Fish that can be cooked any number ‘a ways…”

Now AJ he’d seen drool before.


And then they both leapt on him.





He waited until they’d finished shaking his scales off.

‘Every time I go to get some fish, this big ass monster thing that looks as tall as Chitania in Titan-mode pops up from the sea and gives me some very subtle warnings that she’ll kill us if I shoot one of her babies, and her babies are the fish. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to die. But she’s not completely heartless. She gives me the soy cubes I keep bringing back. Here, have some more, I’ve got plenty.’




The sound of two mares simultaneously hitting the ground would never not be funny.

‘…So does that mean I can have both your shares, then?’
Can ponies eat fish? I thought herbivorous couldn't.
>Can ponies eat fish?

Yes. In iceland it's common.


>"The main protein sources in Iceland are fish and fish products, for example has salted herring been used as protein supplement for winter fed or grazed horses for many decades."
They can, and it won't upset them or make them sick, but they don't unless it's fed to them. Generally it's only done in coastal areas because Fish have a high salt bodies in them, and salt is good for horses. That said it doesn't give them what they really need, it's more like a vitamin pill.

But they CAN eat it, they just don't, and at best it's a supplement and not a primary food source.
>dat story save

>You know, the point of this is generally to get out in the sun, have some fun, do some beach related things?


>We have a theater back at home, this is entirely pointless.


>So much you could be doing right now.



"...hee hee, he fell down the hole..."

>Rotting your brain in there!

"Is not."

She had gotten two down. Two whole papers down.

Not BLUE down, TWO.

Without question, she was most proud of that. Two whole papers down... In several hours.

>You can do this...

She tried not to think about how easily she had seen Eighteen fly through them tried to force from her mind every niggling thought that hinted to her that even if she tried to help she would be just a drop in an overflowing bucket. She dared not question how much she would really be able to do, tried her best not to wonder just what it was she could accomplish with a turnover rate so poor for single page forums that required only basic math and a signature to complete. She did not think about it at all.

Nor did she think about the sound of someone bouncing a beach ball just outside her door.

She could already see it, the muticolored ball flying back and forth through the air, she could hear the laughter in her mind, practically taste the sand and feel the warm sun on her fur. She would look so much brighter with a good shine to her coat, and she had been working for so long...


She dared not think about it, not a single part. Not the fact she was already getting up, not the fact her horn had glowed with magic, and certainly not the rumble of her barricade from the world.

She did not think of any part of it.

For her mind was needed elsewhere.

>...Requisitioning an expansion of a household to better accommodate a change in family must follow strict regulations.

Form number three was waiting.

And she wasn't anymore.
Damn, I can respect that.
I would love to have such strong will, the drive to keep on going....
She's strong now, but wait till she realizes she's missing romantic Shiny time and hears him applying Sunscreen to somebody.

She's gonna lose her shit.

"Shiny! I want you to come help me decide what swimsuits to wear!"

'But... you're not swimming.'


'This looks more like floss of some kind.'

"So do you like that one?'

'...Let's cycle through the options.'

CMC ambassadors!
shit, how are we gonna do their marks? keep them as the canon ones or change them?
...it just occurred to me.

Has Vekky gotten a SINGLE signature like she was supposed to?
She got a fuckload of them, Pennydrop used the fact they were nearby for the demonstration of the new Metal Deer Hawk to get them to sign the book so she could 'trade' with the morlocks.

Now, whether or not she still has that book is another story...

Canon ones, obviously.

We'll just figure out a different way to activate them.



>Are... are you the one who lit this fire in the back, next to the kitchen?

"I can see why you would ask that, but nope!"

>...This is... interesting.

"Should we do something?"

>It's... probably nothing.


Annnnd now she's doomed.

Nice attempt at least...
>Vekky has to go back to get the book
>Ends up stealing the Hawk instead
>Forgets the book AGAIN
Yes, but how long until she steals Gwen's Heart?
>Not BLUE down, TWO.

I didn't even notice that she did the numbers right in the previous story.


>Gals, this ain't gonna be easy to tell you, but... they got a hold of the pickles.



"We'll starve!"

>Ah' know, Ah' know... but that's why Ah'm thinkin' we gather our forces, and charge them.

"But they have the left side of the shack! That's the sturdiest!"

'Our weapons can't penetrate them!'

>Maybe not, but we got somethin' better... moxie!


>The moxie ta' get up, even when we're hungry, and get back in the game!


>The moxie to stand up when everythin' is comin' down around us and charge right back in!





"YEEE... what is that?"


'Sticking out of the side of your hat, what is that?'

>...Oh hey! Ah' got the candy bar Ah' got on our last stop in there, what'dya know! Hey, looky there, Ah' got me somethin' other than pickles, ain't that neat?



>...Over mah' dead body.

"'GIVE IT!'"


[Hey, has anyone seen Charity? I don't want to get sand in... was that a gunshot?]
>No charges would be filed, because killing someone over a candy bar in that situation? Totally justified.
>Kill best friend
>Or eat nothing but pickled stuff for a week.

....I love you /pa/ls, but it;s not even a question.

I'd kill you all, and not lose any sleep.
remind me not to let you on my pirate ship
kinda have to salt/pickle anything unless you have the space for live animals
Sure, if you don't know what solar panels and refrigeration are...

Or if you have a time machine and all you want to do is be a pirate, we have way bigger problems.
I do /tg/'s Jumpchain in my spare time and my ongoing theme is being a pirate, most of the time I'm in a world with no refrigeration/electricity.
Speaking of jumpchain, note to self: make a Princess Applejack Jump, because the only other MLP jump to exist is fucking shit
So... so does nobody want to know where Nicezilla is getting these soy cubes from? That's a legitimate problem, you have to do all this http://www.soymilkmaker.com/making_tofu.html to make them into cubes.

You know what's even weirder? Soybeans are FRESH WATER only. She lives in the ocean with her kids, presumably salt water fish.

How the fuck does she get soy cubes!?
...she's the queen of the seaponies and they send some up to trade every now and again?
I don't fucking know
She goes to Puerto Burro a few miles away and buys them using treasure from sunken pirate ships
What are they going to do when they find the remains of her Apple Slurpee in there?

The bloodshed will be legendary.
Made me crack up like a fuck
> implying mother's can't do the impossible
Do you even Nicezilla?

>You are a jackass.

-Sieze herrrrr!-

"I apologize, but this is really my magic's fault."


>Your magic's a jackass!

"It's also probably due to...well..."


'Ya maybe got a bit of a...sense of superiority to your kin, mum?'

>...oh, I'm a jackass.


~No, please, keep resisting, I've never been so amused in my life.~
Eh, just got a reminder of something.

Can an archiver find me the story based off the April fool joke? The space adventure one?

If looks could kill...

Well, they probably could, he's seen weirder stuff, but this thankfully was not one of the Titan's many powers. Still, if the option for being killed via a nasty look was an ability held by her, he would be dead. Really, really dead. He still might be, even if it's not by that.

Hence why he had to handle this himself, and not send one of his other soldiers to deliver this news.

>What. Did. You. Say.

"Ahem... due to the ongoing investigation regarding the possible influence of changelings towards the royalty of Canterlot as presumed by the possibility of outside influence by the compromised nature of the current royals of the Crystal Empire, no changelings are allowed onto the premises of Canterlot Castle until such time-"

>Are you stupid?

She let him get a lot father in his explanation this time. He did not call this a good thing.

>Are you really that stupid?

She brought it in close, uncomfortably close. A lesser pony would have moved away. Or, smarter pony, he clarified to himself. A smarter pony would have backed off just a bit when that growling, snarling face neared him.

>Listen to me, you pathetic thing. I care about one thing, exactly, in that place. There is but a single thing in all of Canterlot that makes stomping it to the ground yet again not worth the effort, and you have the sheer, blinding stupidity to come to me and say that I cannot go there?

"You can't."

>All because you fear politics, and influence... must I really show you, and all those idiots, what you should really be afraid of? Mind control is pathetic next to what I can really do.

Despite the power radiating off her, despite the sheer energy he could see rippling beneath her chitin, despite the heaviness her gaze alone pressed down upon him, all he could find himself focusing on was the fact that, weirdly enough, she had really nice breath. She must have been dropping breath mints like candy or something.

>Now, say it again?


"If you're trying to be intimidating, you're not doing a very good job, I've faced way scarier than you."

She let out only one, single, solitary chuckle.

>And what is that? The 'god' you supposedly killed, but didn't really kill? The one that's oh so powerful, but can be held inside of a tin can like some sort of rotten sardines? Please, that's... hrm, up to par for the rest of the so called 'gods' of this world, now that I think about it. Disappointing.

"I'm not talking about him."

That should not have elicited an amused raised eyebrow, but there it was.

>Oh? Then who?

"Brahmos was way scarier than you."


"He was a very large, very strong minotaur."


Even Chrysalis couldn't laugh that loud, he was pretty sure.

>AHAHAHAH! A-a Minotaur!? A Minotaur! That's your bar for terrifying! That! A great big bull with sharp things on the ends of sticks! How terrifying! Who knows what those sticks are capable of in all their massive power!?

"That's not why."

>Oh? Oh please, tell me, tell me little pony! Please tell me what's so scary about this big old scary bull thing, clearly he's beyond the dragons I've ripped to shreds, right?


>Then what!? Tell me, right now, then what so ever is more frightening!

"...Ahem, Queen Chitania, if you attempt to return to Canterlot Castle, I'll have to fight you."



Her previous laugh had nothing on this one.

>AHA! AHAHAHA! AHAHHAHAAH! W-what!? You can't be serious! What!? I'd murder you in one hit!

"Probably. But that doesn't really matter, the important thing is fighting you."

>...wait, what?

Finally, something that stopped the laughter.


"Listen, I'm going to be blunt with you right here... you'd probably kill me. Super easy too, just no effort whatsoever on your part, just dead. And the sad part is, the one thing I usually rely on here is thinking quick and coming up with something on the fly. But that might not work either, would it? You're not just a dumb bruiser, you're smart. You're a damn smart fighter, I can tell that just from what I've read and seen. You think quick, you learn every time something new comes up and never let it hit you again, you know when to go full on and you know when to go to a sneak attack. You've got the power, and you've got the smarts. In a fight, me and you? I probably lose every time unless a miracle happens."


"So, the important part... is fighting you."

>... are you really so pathetic as needing something like this to prove yourself?


>Then what, exactly, do you hope to bring to this?

"Showing that Equestria is fighting you. And if we're fighting you, our allies are fighting you. And if they're fighting you, THEIR allies are fighting you. Then you lose."

She had changed. Any amusement she held before was long, long gone. Something else had replaced it. Something dangerous.

>And how, exactly, do I lose? Do you really think your pathetic armies can defeat me?

"Judging by how the Variolus thing went, maybe not. But I didn't say us, or even our allies, I said theirs."

>...And that means?

"It means..."

For the very first time, he was the one who went closer.

"That I am well aware that you'd rather let those changelings shoot you till the end of time then watch your daughter cry because you killed one of her hive. And she would, she would cry, and she would hate you if you killed a single one of them."

She had gone silent, cold, deathly so.


"Fight us? The Empire will join in. If they join in?... Chrysalis is going to want to save face, and guess what? She's not your biggest fan right now. Shining Armor and Princess Cadence... that's another story, isn't it? She'd order you to protect them, and all of Canterlot, in a heartbeat, and who do you think Thirteen is going to join, you?... Or them?"

She couldn't argue that.

"It's not permanent, you can go back when it's done."

>And if I cannot, assuming they find something?

"That?... That's the reason Brahmos was scarier."

He shuffled past her, the conversation done.

"He would've known already what he was gonna do, and he would have done it already, and he wouldn't have cared."

She didn't watch him as he started walking away, eyes trained dead ahead.

>You didn't answer my question.

"No, I didn't. You'll have to do it for me, if it comes to that. Let's hope it doesn't, for both our sake."

He kept walking further, and further and further.

She never pursued.

"Have fun spending time with your daughter, she's got plenty of free time now, just like you do. I'm sure you'll pass it somehow, together."

She left without another word, for she had other places to be.

"Me?... I'm gonna go party like it's the last day of my life."

So did he.

CTRL F The sun had just broke over Canterlot
.... did Pom just call out Chitty and get away with it?

Damn, Pom, way to be slick.

Now get the hell out of there before you're told off by 13 or the hooker.
Thanks man, record timing as always.
Oh no you don't! He doesn't get away without knowing how the Princesses are the literal worst and he is a tool of the Mare to keep the common ponies down!


I don't know how to take what he just said.

Like... is he actually calling her out? Giving a subtle compliment? Is this a threat or something?

I get what he's saying, just not sure how to interpret his side of it. Closest I can get is that he essentially just went "I see your real weak spot now".
he figured out Chitania
straight up he figured her out, he now has a general idea of how she will react to most things and how to make sure she's complacent.
She has no hope of ever beating him now, because she can't even fight him anymore.
And she can't do anything to change that because she won't ever be able to abandon her daughter.
speaking of 13...
Chitania was never said to have been sealed 1000 years ago. In fact, everything points to it being WAY more recent.

The fact she only knew about Celestia, the fact that Momsie was the one who sealed her up and even 10 was around in Momsie time, and how long she survived in the ice all point to the fact it was wayyyyy more recent.

Further evidence, her mother was terrified of Celestia, specifically, not Luna. This would make more sense if it was after Luna's banishment.
we really need to get a history lesson on about how many years ago this all was. because for all we know the only reason 13 even looks like an adult is because she was low on love in the previous years and she's actually only like 10
...holy shit this makes much more sense, why would Chrysalis wait so long to get desperate like that? She wouldn't, so it HAD to have been a recent development.
>Closest I can get is that he essentially just went "I see your real weak spot now".

That's what I took away from it, which kind of takes away from the whole 'based' thing for me. It's just not a real 'threat', you know? He's pretty much saying "I know your weakness, and that it's the fact you care about your daughter!" Not really something that makes me think that's impressive.

I personally still liked the scene just because I liked seeing Pom reconcile the fact that he HAS seen scarier, and it's got nothing to do with power levels or anything, but just at what they're willing to give up to get their goals and what they'd want to protect.
I don't think it was supposed to be impressive, more something to showcase Pommel's travels helped him understand some stuff, and like said have him understand just what Chitania is.

Like, she's not like Brahmos, she doesn't kill on a whim, she's not obsessed with taking everything over and she's not one to end everything just because she feels like it. She has power, more than Brahmos ever could, but she doesn't have that same mindset. At least, not anymore. She probably would have killed without reservation if the opportunity had presented itself before Thirteen's re-emergence. She didn't have anything to care about or anything to hold her back before, their lives were just there because of her convenience. It's not about what she can destroy, but who. I liked that he pointed out that, capability wise, she could probably wreck most anything, the whole army included, but that wasn't what was important. What was important was who she was fighting. Brahmos was scarier, because no matter who you put in his way he would cut them down if it meant getting to his goal. Chitania's less scary, because put 13 in her way and she won't move an inch.

I loved that last line "I don't know, you'll have to answer it for me", because he acknowledges that despite it all, it's up to her if she wants to break free and just do it anyway. If she wants to be like Brahmos, he can't stop her, nobody can. Might be reading too much into it, though.

TLDR, it didn't make me think he was a badass, because obviously there's nothing brave about what he just said essentially if you try to hurt us, your daughter is going in the line of fire too! but there's a lot about his character in that.
>It's been a long time, old friend

"Indeed it has, a whole week even!"

>I got the permit right before the princesses left

"You mean..."

>It's time

A short while later, the two looked up at the gleaming metal tower that had been erected in one of the poorer regions of Canterlot city, and the small building beside it.

>Are we ready?

"Of course"

They stepped into the building, full of electronic equipment, and each put on headsets




I think he's a bit less cold than that. I think he knows that when you have people that care about you, you have different perspective on things and the fact Brahmos seemingly didn't and was a complete socio/psychopath made him a more dangerous person.

Maybe he understands how gutted a person can be when losing a family member considering he saw Daw's foster father die right in front of him. If Evergreen somehow came back with his head stitched back on, but cautioned Daw against a dangerous life, odds are she'd listen to him.

It's not about weaknesses, it's about people, and understanding people could make Pommel a very effective captain.

...also it occurs to me, does he have the authority to investigate the guard of other cities? I remember a crooked guard being one of Sweet Note's gripes and I doubt he'd be down for that happening in his hometown.
I'm sadly not the normal fuzzy and the buzz guy and I couldn't ever write their show, but I feel like this had to happen.
Motherfucker I'm happy now
>...also it occurs to me, does he have the authority to investigate the guard of other cities?
If they're Equestrian cities, sure? I mean, he is captain of all the guard, right?... or is he? We never see him deal with non-canterlot guard...

Huh. Maybe not? I guess it would be out of his jurisdiction, the head of the LA police force can't go check on the Miami branch, obviously... HUH.

I dunno.

...Why you gotta crush my dreams, anon? Why?
>...also it occurs to me, does he have the authority to investigate the guard of other cities?

If it's like real-world, no. That's an outside agency(think FBI or whatever)

In magic horseland, if you want it to. Maybe he gets a special permit or something, since he's the head guard of their capitol.
I suppose I could look back through previous threads and take up his mantle, but I don't even know what happened to the guy that normally does it
He got it in his head to do what was supposed to be a mini-arc with AJ that spiraled into something bigger and longer and ended with armor-AJ giving a speech, and didn't have time to continue doing their show inbetween, and it kind of slipped my mind.

Honestly? I didn't even think anybody missed them.
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....wait wait wait wait, the guy who does Fuzzy and the Buzz is also the guy who did that fucklong really well detailed and written AJ thing recently? Why... why is that so weird to me. It's not just me, right? That's weird to you guys too? That's fucking weird.

And of course we missed them you doof.
Damn son, talk about your humble beginnings...
....no fucking way
that's just fucking amazing
yes, we missed them ya doofus
Dude. Fuck. You're the same guy? Just... Dude, fuck.
... well, that is by far the least likely piece of information I thought I was going to get tonight. I don't even know how to respond to that. That's just interesting.
Good night, thread.
>they're all fucking tiny


I have waited so damn long to someone to give the fuck off speech to big ol' "I AM THE BIGGEST! I AM THE STRONGEST! MANIFEST DESTINY! MUH GODZ! MUH DAUGHTER! YOU ARE ALL INFERIOR! RAAAAARGH!"

Pommel, you're well up in my faves now, great job mister writer man.

Chitania can cry in a ditch for all I care
Did Twilight's 'This is dumb, you are dumb, if you weren't such a bitch all the time, you wouldn't have had to take all these precautions just so I could heal you' speech not count?
It just said "You are a prideful cock"

This one did in her smashy smashy "WE WILL BURY YOOOOU" attitude she has when someone tells her to please not shit on the dinner table

Fucking glad too cos goddamn she was fucking impossible to get to without major arc shenigans

>And let's see here...yes, seems we'll have enough room for everyond in this car, now to check the-



>Oof! What in the hell!?

"Snrk! Whu?"

>Get off of me! What on earth were you doing in a luggage compartment!?






>Wha-oh right, the alias. What were you doing in there?

"Trying to get noticed by green faced people in suits."


"Ok, I'll just have to say it, I stowed away after I kept sleeping through the Canterlot stop every single time, hoping I could get close. Are we close?"

>...we're in the Crystal Empire.

"Snickerdoodles! Everybody's so happy here all the time, they never need me for any-SEE!? They're throwing a party right now! It's like the place is utopia twenty-four/seven here!"

>Well, if you're interested, we're all about to go on vacation to Puerto Burro.

"Really!? Oh I'd love to go, let me get my marachi costume!"

>Fine, but no La Cucaracha, it's insensitive.

>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I bring two groups together! Now for our main guests...THE PINK PONY CLUB!!!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one! Guess what?


>I'm letting in a friend to join in our Pink Club activities this time! It's APPLEJACK!


DT angrily pulls Pinkie to the side.
'What is SHE doing here?'

>What do you mean? She's my friend!

'Well she's not mine! We are not on good terms, Pinkie. She's the one who-'

>Wouldn't it be nice if you two could patch things up together and make amends? You two have more in common than you think and could learn a lot from each other. I really care for the both of you and it hurts me to see you two have such bad blood. Could you at least try for me?

'...Pinkie, I-'

>Unfortunately, we don't actually have time for that kind of heart to heart dialogue, so I'm going to expedite things!
Gives a pink injection into DT's neck.


>Any opinions Cadence?

"...but Applejack's not even pink."
She gets an instant syringe to the neck.

[This is sweet that you're trying, but don't you think you're going a little over-]
Pinkie takes out a 3rd syringe.

>This has been another night of your favorite dream show! Tune in next time for- OH MY GOSH DON'T TOUCH EACH OTHER LIKE THAT!

Technical difficulties.
*Bossanova music*
Oh myyyyyyyy~

Right this has completely spiraled out of control
I'm uhh... not seeing any references to /pa/ here, unless it's the idea that Tia can't have normal sex so she has to pull shit like this
but I doubt it's that
Good morning

It's very fucking cold outside
welcome to my world
....Did she just fucking drug them?

Friendship at any cost, anon.


~Fuzzy and Buzz in the Morning, 97.1!~

"Top story toDAY! This trash pickup detail has really been slipping, hasn't it?"

>Hadn't noticed, I hang around you all the time so I'm used to the smell.


~When the bubbles stop, he's clean.~

"But clearly it's a serious issue that needs discussion and-I'm totally kidding obviously! It's time for INVESTIGATION, CANTERLOT!


>With the royals under fire, everyone is scrambling to find any evidence that mayyyybe someone has been pulling the strings.

"And not just the bell to switch on Fuzzy's speed date night."



"But the princesses assure everyone this is just a measure to prove definitively there is no wrongdoing, and there's no influence whatsoever."

>That said, ooof, gotta be rough to be kicked out of your house because someone things you're getting brainblasted.

"As opposed to getting kicked out of your house because your parents want to have company over, eh Fuzzy?"


~It's not you, it's us... and how little we want to be near you.~

"But FUZZY AND THE BUZZ are going to be right here every step, keeping you updated every time they find some dirty laundry!"

>The literal kind, in Buzz's case. He's got a problem.



"Now it's time to celebrate our return with the new hit single, Love is My Life(literally) by the Queenlings!"

~Dis gon be good.~


By far the best thing that came out of the hallway fight.

It's just so perfect having them back, damn.

>...Hey, Spits?


>Was that picture always upside down?


>Why would it be upside down?

"You tell me, you brought it up!"

>...It's probably nothing.

"Wow, gee, thanks. Way to waste my time."

>...who would turn a picture of this villa upside down?...
And that's when Filthy tried to kill Pinkie.

True story.
>He does it as his dream-superhero persona


Three sets of eyes peered over the side of their impressive sand structure, darting back and forth as they looked for their most villainous of foes.

>So is this here a cease fire, or...

"They're quiet... too quiet..."

'How can someone be too quiet? Either you're quiet or you're not! Make sense, darn it!'

[We're taking a break!]

"What!? You can't take a break! This is war!"

{Wars have breaks all the time.}

"They do not!... Do they?"

>They do.

"Huh.... so, what're you doing?"


"Now that I can get behind!"

-Well, you'll have to wait, we'll pass you the shaking weight thing when it's your turn.-

>...Shaking weight thing?

[Yes, you know those weird weights that pump up and down so you work your whole foreleg better? We found one of them under one of the floorboards!]

{It's pretty worn down too, but it still works!}


>Huh. Pinkie? Did ya'll work out around here or something?

'...y-yep! Total exercise nut, that was my family! Mom totally worked out all the time on vacations, yep yep!'

"Oh... well, that's cool I guess."

'Did, um... did you guys wash it first?'

-Hm? Oh, no. Didn't even think about it, why?-

'...Sand! Worried about the sand clogging up the gears!'

-No worries, the thing was pretty well contained in the box, no sand at all.-

[And it's practically shining, darling!]

>Huh... well, guess Ah'm goin' after Dash! Need ta' keep mah' girls all ready fer' the Applebuckin'. That works on hind legs too, right?


"Did you want a turn after her?"

'...I'm, uh... I'm good.'

>Well, more for us!


-Wow, Spike! You are really, REALLY good with that thing! You'd swear it was made for you.-

[Have you been practicing without telling us?]



"Is... is she serious right now?"

'Be kind! She has been through a most trying ordeal. Can you blame her for wishing to hug something to know it is real?'

"...She literally picked him up off the ground after she watched Pommel drop him from that second story balcony. In that order, smack and then she picks him up and starts crying."


[Trixie understands needs for hugs. It's something lesser ponies feel, sometimes. She pities them.]

"That... that's not the point...."


"She is just choking him. Can he even breath?"

'He will be fine. Never doubt Twenty Nine.'


{...there there.}

[See? Twenty Nine is fiiiiine. He's almost as good at accepting when everyone dislikes him as Trixie!]


[Wait, that came out wrong... Trixie is not saying she is disliked, just... look, you know what Trixie means! She is the best at everything and that is that!]

"...And he hangs out with you willingly?"

[Trixie is so welcome with him she stays in his apartment and helps herself to whatever she wants, thank you!]

"And he's... okay with this?"

[He hasn't managed to stop Trixie yet!]

"...Seriously, can he breath?"


"Guess so... wow, I was hoping this would cheer him up, maybe I am going to have to take him into the closet. You all okay with that?"


[Trixie is only okay if she can watch!]


[Trixie makes ZERO apologies for liking hot stallion on stallion action, thank you!]

'...Please do not molest my friend when he is in this state. Unless you are fine with having your balls cut off, then everything is great.'





"Wow, we need this vacation..."
.....He's alive?

He's seriously been on that train for almost 20 threads.

...Wait, you don't suppose... he took the PL curse with him, do you?

Is Cheese the hero we needed?

>You know... I like this! Just... spending some time on the beach, having some fun in the sun, doing some tanning and swimming and making sand castles... it's nice, you know? It's really, really nice. I don't even feel like anything bad is happening. I really just feel... at peace. I'm really happy we could spend this