>You rouse from your sleep.
>The smell of warm pancakes drifts from the kitchen.
>Who the fuck is in your house?
>You walk out and see a girl, just making herself at home, and she has a dog?
>"Hi there sir, my name is Twilight Sparkle, I'm sure you're wondering what I'm doing in your home."
"Yeah, I am wondering that."
>"I-if you'll just have a seat, I've prepared you some pancakes, a-as a sign of goodwill!"
>You walk over sitting down at the table.
>"I'm sorry in advance if the pancakes aren't very good."
"Quit stalling, you'd better tell me what you're doing here or I'll call the police."
>"R-right, well, you see, I kind of don't have anywhere else to stay.. I figured I'd take a chance, and hope you were in a good mood-"
"I hope you aren't planning on staying."
>"Well, actually I was.. I don't have any money, but, I was thinking, if I do all your cooking and cleaning for you, and help you with whatever else, that maybe possibly you'd let me-"
"So tell me, whats an obviously intelligent girl like you doing out on her ass homeless, humor me."
>"Well, there was kind of this thing with Principal Cinch, and she sort of blackballed me from getting a lot of my scholarships and grants.. My schooling is paid for, but as far as a place to stay.. Well.."
"So, you, a high school nobody, planned to waltz up in here, ask me if I could give you a place to stay? You realize I can cook and clean on my own don't you? Do you realize, the food and utilities cost of letting someone stay with me does not equate to any physical labor you could provide?"
>"B-but if I can't stay here.. I'll either have to be homeless, or get a job as a prostitute in order to pay for somewhere to stay.."
"Not my problem."
>"P-please, I'll do anything you want!"
This is bad.. You don't want this freeloader mooching off you... Should you call the cops and have her removed from the property? Or try to reason it out with her and tell her she can't stay?
>anon: bla bla bla suck my dick
>twilight: big dick and stuff *slurping in the distance*
>anon: jada jada jada love and shit
>spike still cucked by rarity
>anon fucks anything up
>twalot mad and breaks up
>anon: sry, yo
And they suckt each other of happylie ever after
Like in the eqg thread
>The smell of flapjacks rouses you from an otherwise peaceful slumber.
>Glancing at your alarm clock, you see it's 6:00 a.m.
>You live alone in this one bedroom apartment, so the scent is somewhat frightening to you.
>Maybe it's just coming from someone else's place?
>You slide out of bed, noticing the lights in your kitchen are on.
>"Ssh Spike! You don't want to wake him up before we can surprise him!"
"What the fuck...?"
>You enter the kitchen, and find some purple chick cooking.
>A small dog is tucked under her arm, as she flips pancakes.
>The dog looks at you, wagging his tail enthusiastically.
>"What's that Spike?"
>The Purple broad looks at you with a welcoming smile.
>"Oh! You're up! Good morning!"
>Your eyes go big, and you look to your door which is still locked, then to your window, which is shattered.
>"Wh-what? I'm not--"
>You rush to your closet brandishing your Composite Louisville slugger, and head back to the kitchen.
>The trespassing mauve swimfan holds up a hand trying to settle you down.
>"Pl-please wait! I'm not a stalker! I just wanted to ask you--"
>You swing at her, colliding with her left set of ribs.
>She's barely affected by the blow, as her dog was there instead.
>This bitch is gonna learn not to break into your fucking pad.
>The little canine coughs up speckles of blood, as he slinks from her grasp onto the ground in a heap of dog shaped meat.
"YOU GON LEARN BITCH! YOU GON LEARN!"
>She kneels to check on her pet, not paying attention to your next attack, which clocks her in the temple, sending her rolling into an endtable.
You guys got cucked realy hard faggots
If a bitch breaksin you break her nose
But you tawts would have a massive boner and die of dehydration cuz the thought of any cunt in your home makes you cum for eternety it is like an actual visit from twiligh with a naked creber riding atop
>The girl wiggles, and twitches from pure pain shock, with wide open eyes.
>You pants, and lick your dried lips.
"REAL NIGGA SHIT BITCH. GET CHECKED."
>You kick her in the thighs a couple times, before dialing 911.
>"Operator. What is your emergency?"
"A BITCH BROKE INTO MY HOME AND GOT DAT ASS WHOOPED."
>"..I-I'm sorry sir?"
"JUST SEND A CAR TO , OKAY?"
>"A squad car will be right there sir."
>You hang up, feeling fucking fantastic.
>The adrenaline pumping in your veins has you feeling powerful! Like you could fight a fucking bear.
>Blood oozing from the intruders mouth begins to soak into your carpet.
>Eh. Seltzer water will clear that up.
>You sit on your sofa staring daggers at the felled girl, breathing hard through your nose.
>Not soon after do the police arrive, with a loud banging on your door.
>Two officers greet you.
>"We got a call about a breaking and entering?"
>You point to the shattered window, and the grounded dog, and girl.
>As you provide your statement to one of the officers, the other revives the criminal scum, and cuffs her.
>"W-why am..why am I getting arrested? I just wanted a place to stay..!"
>"Don't worry. We got a cozy little cell with your own roommate waiting on you."
>He pushes the cuffed whore out the door with one hand, and carries her partner in crime in a trash bag. Little bastard didn't survive his just desserts.
>Whatever. All dogs go to heaven.
>You watch the car drive off into the slowly rising sun, and with a yawn, you take your pancakes to bed.
"Well, I'll be damned. She can cook!"
Can I make a request to whoever is actually gonna write this?
No bullshit. Just realistic character interactions.
For what NOT TO DO.
In all honesty, if some weird girl borke into my house, I'd attack her and call the cops. Maybe not say some of the stuff this anon said, but it was pretty realistic to me. What you want is exactly what you don't want. Bullshit. You want a greentext story that plays out like some cheap, cliché anime where the protag just says "HURR DURR. QT GRILL! OTAY! YOU CAN STAY!" and stupid awkward sexy moments, and bonding blah blah blah. This is a refreshing change.
Who honestly reacts like that? "Oh stranger in my home! Better calmly ask them to leave!" Only someone naive, and twice as stupid wouldn't panic in a realistic situation like that. Oh silly me, expecting faggots to >react reasonably
If she asked me without breaking into my house I'd think about letting her use something, but letting someone live with me in the exact same rooms without being married is just off
See, that's the difference. She didn't break in in your scenario. On this one, not only did she break in, she started using your stove, and your food. I'd be fucking terrified she got in in the first place. That's stalker shit.
>"Hi sir, my name is Twilight Sparkle. I'm a student at Crystal Prep Academy."
>"I know we don't know each other but, uh, well, you see, I had this sort of problem with the Principal there, and uh, she may have wanted me to do some... let's say questionable things that I didn't wanted to do, a-and she might have rejected some grants I had..."
"Uh huh, interesting."
>"So, uhm, uh, I don't really have a place to stay--"
>"Quiet Spike. Anyway, as I was..."
"You need money. Is that what you want?"
>"What? N-No, I'm looking for a long term solution. I..."
"You want monthly donations."
>"No! I... I wanted to ask if I could... Ask if I could stay here? I--"
>You try to close the door.
>"Wait! Sir! I-I'm not some freeloader or anything. I-I can cook, and clean dishes, a-and cook..."
"I don't care. Go ask somewhere else."
>"B-But I've been asking everywhere and nobody wants--"
"Well it must be for a reason."
>"Please, I really need this! I've worked so hard just to get here and I don't want to drop off just because I don't have a place to stay."
"I'm gonna call the police if you don't go away."
>"No. No! Sir, I beg you! I won't be a bother, a-all I need is a corner! You won't even notice I'm here... O-Or let me stay for tonight! Yeah! Just this night and tomorrow I'll be gone! Please please please sir!"
>somebody; ANYBODY begging and pleading for a place to say
>just one night
>have gone door to door; nobody's biting
>offers housekeeping services in return
>"all I need is a corner [to sleep in]"
>>"I'm gonna call the police if you don't go away."
itt: people pretend to be edgy fucking sociopaths
Like any of you have the balls to do anything but stutter uselessly
She. Broke. In.
Twilight isn't going door to door. she B&E some random guys house, and started cooking in it. How is anyone telling her to fuck off or freaking out "edgy" or "sociopathic"?
Huh, what would you guys make Twilight if she stayed at your place.
Make her pay through different things?
Example: >MAKE HER EAT THE EGGS
Example: >Tell her to drink a glass of your cum. You would just tell her that it's milk.
Get the girls from Crystal Prep to come over my place. Make them think that there is an event for the best, but really just roofies and aphrodisiac candles/drinks. Or just really strong aphrodisiac pills in drinks.
"You'll do anything I want huh? Well how about getting on your knees and suck my dick?"
>"I-i'm sorry what?"
"Get on the fucking ground NOW!"
>You stand up knocking her no doubt poisoned pancakes on the ground as you squash them into the tiles with your combat boots.
"Stupid fucking whore breaking into my house, I will make you pay the price!"
>Twilight Sparkle gets on her knees before you, you unbuckle your pants exposing your magnum hard cock.
"Now get to doing what women do best."
>You pull out your glock 22 and shoot her dog in the head.
>It explodes in a rain of blood and brain matter.
>Twilight trembles as shes drenched in her dogs blood spraying everywhere.
>She starts screaming loudly.
>You slap her in the face hard.
"Now, get to sucking my dick before I do the same to you!"
>"Y-you just killed my puppy! He didn't do anything!"
>You pistol whip her.
"Stupid bitch LISTEN when I talk to you!"
>Shes trembling and stuttering, her eyes wide still covered in the blown 'shrapnel' of what was once her dogs head.
"Looks like I'll just have to do everything myself."
>You say as you shove your massive cock into her gaping maw.
"Oh yeah.. Now that's what I'm talking about, yeah suck it!"
>Tears dripping down her face as she applies a weak suction.
"You should have obeyed when I told you to, otherwise this wouldn't have happened."
>Her weepy teary voice..
"From now on you're going to be my personal cocksleeve, you will also have this place spotless by 1700 hours, every single day. You will refer to me as Master and you will know no other."
>She moans weakly with your cock in her mouth.
"Thats a good cockslave, I can tell we're going to get along just fine.."
>explain to her why breaking into someone's houses is a bad thing to do
>explain to her why she can't stay
>either she leaves or else the police's going to get her out of your home
>tell her you have a gun
>later meet her again
>she doesn't look to good
>buy her a meal
>find out what she said was true
>invite her over to use your bathroom
>but she can't stay
>try to find a place where she can sleep
>you can't find any
>Are you really going to let a stranger who broke into your home stay overnight?
>let her sleep for only one night
>you wake up
>she made breakfast
>not too bad but you can cook yourself
>she goes to school
>still can't find a place
>she broke into your home and used your stuff
>What would Jesus do?
>let her stay for some days while you're searching for a stay for her
>get more accustomed to each other
don't tell her she can stay
>aid her in her wishes
>care for her
>groom her into your perfect waifu
>marry your perfect waifu
procreatewith your perfect waifu
>grow old with your perfect waifu
tell her she can stay
>awww fuck break in time
>you grab your obrez and head into your kitchen.
>turning the corner flailing the gun you casually spit out
"ANU CHEEKI BREEKI VI BOVDA"
>theyre stunned af.
>"alright on the ground cloths off, lets not turn this rape into a- wait, you're a girl making pancakes."
>"hi, my names twilight sorry about breaking in, I just needed a place to stay and was hoping youd let me stay here. I made pancakes as a sign of good will. "
Here's how this is gonna go:
Take your vest off and turn down your shirt collar. I want you to look like this. Provided you maintain that appearance you may stay here as long as you like. Don't touch my stuff though.
>"I-if you'll just have a seat, I've prepared you some pancakes, a-as a sign of goodwill!"
>Well, purtlefuck, u have 1 minute
You know in ancient Greece, if a stranger came to you looking for help, it was customary to feed them and clothe them and help them however you could before you even asked their name. This bitch gives her name, story, and makes you a nice breakfast. The least you can do is hear her out.
But then we wouldn't have all these people being edgy and telling us how they'd kick her ass and give her the ol' what for!
For DARING to enter the private home of Anon E. Motherfucking Mous!
But seriously, I'd just give up on this thread, we are sixty posts in. And it's been nothing but edgy retards and shitposting.
Its better than most of these guys. I can respect that at least someone offered a logical solution.
Now if we had a story version of that, maybe with Anon slowly warming up to her, I could dig it.
>You rouse from your sleep.
>The smell of warm pancakes drifts from the kitchen.
>Who the fuck is in your house?
>Oh, that's nice. Your wife is making you pancakes.
>You should just go back to sleep and...
>Wait, you're not married.
>You don't even have a girlfriend.
>Slowly rising from your sheets, you crawl out of bed and make your way to your closet.
>In there lies a shotgun which you arm yourself with and exit out into the kitchen.
"Hold it right there," you shout, turning the corner. "My state respects the castle doctrine and will totally be ok with me shooting a catholic schoolgirl. Why is there a catholic schoolgirl in my house?"
>The purple girl, with a frightened face and arms in the sky, pleads with you to not make her insides into outsides.
>"H-hello, sir! My name is Twilight Sparkle."
"What are you doing in my house, Twinkle Sprinkle?"
>You lower the gun and set it down, figuring your brute strength alone should be enough to subdue a ninety pound girl if she tried anything.
>"R-right, well, you see, I kind of don't have anywhere else to stay.. I figured I'd take a chance, and hope you were in a good mood when you woke up."
"What are you going on about?"
>"Well I recently got into a college in the area, but due to a few choice words from the principal of my high school before I graduated, I was denied most scholarships. I don't have any money to pay for an apartment."
"You parents can't mail you any?"
>"Anything that isn't keeping a roof over their head is invested in this school now. I already told you I couldn't get the scholarships."
"Right. So you just decided to breeze in and stay at my place until you got on your feet?"
>"Well, ideally, yes."
>You eye her closely and order her to sit.
>While she does so, you whip out your phone and do a quick Hoofle search for any "Twibright Sparks"
>After being redirected to a few porn sites, you remember her name was actually "Twilight Sparkle" and search that instead.
>This time you find a few links that seem to work with her story.
>You sigh and look at the stack of pancakes she made you.
>They do look quite good.
>"I'm a great cook. I can do this as much as you want. I can clean, too. I'll help however I can. Please, I just need a place to stay."
>A little help around the place wouldn't be so bad.
>It'd also be nice to not feel so lonely in this big and drafty house.
>After a long minute of consideration, you nod and sit down at the table with her.
"If these pancakes check out, you can stay."
Please sir, I require more of this.
>"Hello Ms. Sentry, and to you Ms. Shimmer."
>"Wow Twilight, it's been forever, ooh, what happened to your eye, wow thats a real shiner!"
>You stare at Twilight as she holds her head down.
>"I-i just tripped, down some stairs is all, please, come right inside, I've prepared a full course banquet."
>"So how did you two get to know each other?"
"I was just minding my own business when she just showed up in my life, and she's been a part of it ever since, isn't that right sweetie?"
>"Y-yes, Anon, he gave me a place to stay.. He took me in when no one else would.."
>"Aww thats so sweet, man I wish Flash could be as nice as Anon is."
>"Relax, I'm just teasing you."
>After dinner, Twilight does all the cleaning up after it.
>Doing every single dish by hand and putting them all away..
>Later while you're on the couch she massages your feet while you talk about dumb stuff that happens at your work.
>Life is good being the man of the house.
Wow, it's like I'm looking at a genuine 14 year old spouting dank maymays.
I'm sure it's real fucking happy in lala land where you live, but anyone of high school age or older knocking door to door in the middle of the night looking for free board is going to be turned away simply on matters of trust, sob story or no. The best I would give her is directions to the local shelter, and even then I would consider calling the police to report a possible runaway, for her own safety. True, that Anon got ahead of himself by threatening to call the police right off the bat when he could have just closed the door on her, but it would be within reason to do so if she continued disturbing him after that.
As for breaking an entering, she may not be have to be met with violence, but she's already breached common decency. It's well within anyone's right to toss her out or call the police. You're free to keep her detained without hurting her until law enforcement arrives. In many cases, depending on where you live, the police won't even help you if you own a firearm, so you have to deal with potentially dangerous trespassers using your own judgement, wherein fear is often louder than reason. This isn't even mentioning the often irrational fear people have towards dogs of any size.
Life isn't a cartoon. This hypothetical situation is being met without the meta knowledge of who this girl is. She's being treated like any other stranger. I don't own a gun and it may seem like a double standard, but if I stumbled across a strange man in my house, I'd hit him with a frying pan first and ask questions later. That's the kind of neighborhood I live in.
europeans are filthy cowards telling you "just call the police". I literally lost a couple of friends after I punched an intruder within an inch of his dear life and made selfies of it.
>I'd hit him with a frying pan first and ask questions later.
Uh, but Twilight is a girl.
A GIRL. Are you this much of a bitch?
A little girl with a cute little puppy makes you pancakes and suddenly you're the goddamn punisher/edgy the hedgehog?
Come on.. Really?
Oh gee wow you're soooooo right.
Yeah, you're such a biiiiiiig man standing your ground against a little girl who makes you pancakes!
Next you'll be beating up women on the street cause they give you funny looks.
Yeah man, you 'stand your ground'. You're totally not the biggest bitch I've ever met. I totally wouldn't laugh my ass off at you if I met you in real life.
Haha the Europoor calls me the European when it fact it is he who is the European!
I'm just telling our dear fellow about how he's being "so brave" AND "NOT A BITCH" for cowering in the corner from a little girl and her puppy.
Yes I do recall the last time I cowered in the corner from a small thinly framed docile girl.
Oh wait, no I don't, because I'm NOT A FUCKING BITCH HOLY SHIT.
>Sat down in a room with a dim flickering light overhead.
>Looking across the room you see a motionless lump you can only assume to be your new room mate.
>Your eyes begin to moisten.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this."
>A sob and hick up emits from your tightly clenched maw.
>"Shut up over there."
>The motionless lump across the room barks an order you readily comply with.
>No sheets, no mattress.
>You lay on your less than comfortable bunk.
>Only a cold harsh reality blankets you as you hug the wall for warmth.
>Minutes pass like hours as you begin to lose track of time.
>A single thought crosses you mind as you wait until the morning when you can make a call for bail.
"I probably should have made Anon Waffles. Niggas love waffles."
>kicking out/calling the police/attacking someone who just broke into your home
Ok dawg, next time you go to bed, leave your door open and see how that works out for you.
>It winds up with some woman breaking in and sucking my dick while I sleep,
>except she's dirty, smells like shit, is missing half her teeth, and is clearly insane as she scratches bloody marks upon your thigh with long fingernails
>you caught the double aids that day
>there are people on this world not condoning killing an intruder
>there are people comdemning killg an intruder
>there are people thinking killing isn't neutral
>there are people thinking killing is bad
world isn't gonna be better
My personal philosophy on the subject is that there aren't many good reasons to hit someone, but any good reason to hit a man is an equally good reason to hit a woman. This situation is not a good reason to hit someone. The person in question is being perfectly polite, has not offered violence, isn't stealing, ect. I'd hear her out, help how I could, and probably set her up a room in the garage. It wouldn't be the first time I helped someone back to their feet
So you're a sucker? You can't be serious m8. The person in question broke into your home, and used YOUR kitchen utensils and supplies. Keyword "yours" so STEALING. Breaking into someone's house may not be violence against your person, but it is violence against your property. If she wants to play Swiper, she better be prepared to dodge some swipes from my bat
Different anon, but if she managed to break into my house, clean my kitchen, and make breakfast without waking me up, I might as well just go along with it because I've got a crazy ninja stalker and no amount of violence or police will stop her from making me her husbando.
The sooner I accept it and play along, the less painful it will be.
This. Except with less hate.
Nothing wrong with prompt threads popping up, as long as the ones that are already a planned story go to the general.
You're not wrong, but also keep in mind that a lot of things you post anywhere won't get picked up. It's entirely random based on the writefags who happen to stumble on it or not.
With that in mind, just remember that you are also a person who can write this story. Your prompt is a little longer than other prompts and shows promise that you could keep it rolling.
I wanna ask, how many of you people saying you'd take her in are only saying it because of the prompt specifically, and how many of you would actually in real life be seemingly ok with some complete stranger breaking into your house and making you breakfast, and then going so far as to let them live with you?
Cause unless its the same couple of people, it seems like a lot of people are ok just letting her in, and that's just insane to me.
Meh, some of us get benefits from doing so.
Extra cash and food come in if the stranger works.
Get some work done around the house, like cleaning and cooking. Like prompt said.
Not being alone.
Just make sure that the stranger isn't some druggie or insane bitch.