You know, Anon, in the ancient days when the three pony types first asked us to protect them, Equestria was a wild and lawless place, full of tinpot dark lords and vicious sorcerers. This is to say nothing of the numerous horrible beasts, dragons and balors and such, which were far more prevalent in those days than in the present age.
Celestia never quite got the taste for destroying these abominations. I did, though. I got rather good at it, too, and it's because I always struck first and I always struck last. I eventually became quite efficient at extermination. Why, once I immolated an entire army of warlocks with a single pass of fire magic. You could hear their screams and smell their cooking flesh for miles. Sometimes I was in such command of a situation that I would allow the enemy to feel terror before I wiped them out. Their fear radiated off of them. It was delightful.
So then, who was that mare I saw you with yesterday?
Fleur, she said she'd suck my dick for an hour.
I'm pretty tempted to take her up on it. If only I knew someone else who could do something like that, then I wouldn't have to walk aaaall the way to her place.
And oh look, my clothes have fallen off.
>Not wanting someone so crazy to love you
>Not wanting someone so crazy to love you and kill everybody else for you
>Luna looks serious
>You didn't want her to find out yet but you have no choice
"I was hanging with Pinkie." You say while putting on a shit face grin.
>"The pink one?" Luna stares down at you "And just what were you two up to? "
"We were uh..."
>Luna raises an eyebrow noticing somethings amiss.
"I can't tell you." You flatly say.
>Luna looks annoyed.
>Well if you choose not to tell us, we can just pry the information from within." Luna asserts
>With that said, Luna's horn began to glow white.
>2 white tendrils enemate from it and connects with your temples.
>Your vision goes to a field of white
>and you feel dizzy.
>Luna reappears before you.
>Worry not fair Anon, we are inside your conscience and seeking the answers thou art hiding from us.
I'll never talk!" You protest.
>Luna giggles " We'll see about that. But first when was the last time you pissed yourself Anon?
" 2 nights ago." You quickly state.
>You clasp your hands over your mouth.
>"As you can see Anon, you're not in control here." Luna says.
>"Now I'll ask you again Anon... What were you and the Pink one conversing about?"
>Your mouth forcibly opens against your will.
"We were planning a surprise party."
>"A party?" Luna confusingly asks.
"For you." You flatly reply. "But now the surprise is ruined."
Luna book from the chapter book series. Looks like it was out about 2 months ago. Here's a link if you're curious:
Shes cool but it isnt a faggot about it. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Aside from the first three words and the last sentence, this would be a pretty interesting prompt.
Knowing that this thread is yet another Gary Sue self-insert story though... Why even bother?
"I don't fear you, Luna. And you want to know why?"
>"Very well. Enlighten us, Anonymous."
"Because I'm able to defeat the mare that once immolated an army of warlocks. I'm able to defeat the mare that brought death to those abominations."
>"Pray thee," she smirks "how exactly do you find yourself capable of such a feat?"
"Because I have one thing you don't."
>"And why on Equestria would that give you an advantage over us?"
"Because... TICKLE FIGHT!"
>"Anonymous, you will not- EHAHAHAHA- w-we command thee- AHAAHAHAHAHA- stop! Stop this at onc- BAHAHAHAHA*SNORT!"
"Who's a silly pony? You are! You're a silly pony!"
>"WE SHALL NOT BE SWAYED BY YOUR GOOGOO TALK, ANONYMOUS! NOW ANSWER OUR- Yeeep! Do not b-blow on our belly, so! EEEeeeeheeheehee~!"
"Silly pony doesn't know her own lunar guards when she sees them. She betta reck-a-nize!"
>"W-We, that is, I... uh, oh..."
>"Anonymous! Stop assaulting our abdominal regio-AHAHAHAHAHA!"
Geez mom, It was just my biology teacher, chill.