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Princess Applejack
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 506
Thread images: 28
Howdy, partner!

What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.

Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.

The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:


>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?

>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."


Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.

If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.

If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.

If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.

THREAD 116! Bringing in the new year, Apple style!
1. https://archive.today/f0oQ3
2. https://archive.today/dI35Q
3. https://archive.today/o0ktE
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29. https://archive.today/EP1S2
30. https://archive.today/0rb3f .5 version here https://archive.today/Y5NYc
31. https://archive.today/ONFET
32. https://archive.today/MpCy9
33. https://archive.today/Cqdkc
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59. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
100. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100
107. desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161
109 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25529408
110 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25616096
111 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25673487
112 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25717170
113 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25779356
114 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25832901
115 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943

Here is full archive of ALL the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:

Curious what happened last time, or just wanna know what happens during an active thread?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :

We have begun working on a big project to fix up old stories and make this crazy world more coherent and accessible to new readers who don't like the thread format.
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for sexy hooves, son!
Damn, that felt good....And now back to work after spending the last five minutes refreshing the page.

...worth it.
xth for weird Gayling vs Ghetto Mare catfights!
Damn, I was still writing. I'll get it next time, though.
To the victor go his sexy hooves.
You know what's funny, didn't 56 used to masquerade as a stallion named Quicksilver way back when?
Yes... because there was a guard named Quicksilver.

Who is Quicksilver.

Who is the pony.
I wonder if he even noticed....
Shoot, wish that'd been noticed earlier, coulda been funny.
Pinkie Preview Prophecies

>Mane 6 started out with a Hershey kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss. It was only a kiss!
>AJ bugs Rarity by eating a chunk of the Kit Kat instead of breaking off the pieces.
>PJ uses a potato quality camera.
>Don't go to Detrot.
>Lil Bon and Bulk Biceps work on a music video! Because WHAT?! YEAH!
>Silver Spoon secretly likes demon music.
>The CMC learn the pelicans can eat pigeons!
>resolution fanservice
The gag of him pretending to be a guard didn't last very long, as the whole 'gamer Luna' persona didn't really hit with anyone and after Molestia, the tumblr, went down it just kind of got forgotten.

Yes, all those Quicksilver interactions were... Gamer Luna based.

I would fuck Applejack so many times not even Discord could tell what her vagina looked like before I began. I would rape Applejack so much that her new cutie mark would be an imprint of my ball sac on her skin.


It was funny to look at a potted plant again.

Not that she had a choice, her seat was the one closest to the big window, and the ever worrying changeling remained ever worrying that his poor little sapling wasn't getting enough sunlight. A valid concern, she had to admit, even if it was a little overwrought.

Still, while staring at it, she couldn't help but feel a particular tingle in her hooves.


It's not like anyone was looking.

Maybe, just maybe, she could try to do it, just like she had before...


Maybe she could reach out...

Maybe that tingle could get a little stronger.

Maybe, just maybe....

"What are you doing?"



Maybe Sunset wouldn't be too mad at her.

>...ya' alright?


Momma always told her not to deal in maybes...

>Ok! So we need to be setting some ground rules before we go on, Lavan.

"Really? Because we are already going on, walking is occurring."

>Up bup bup! None of your literal talk! I need you to understand me one hundred percent, ok?


>From now on, whenever we come across some weird thing-


>You're cute-weird, you're an exception.

'Too right.'

>-whenever we encounter someone, I want you to describe them to me in the most excruuuutiating detail, understand?


>Good, finally we're getting somewhere-oof!

-Hey, watch where you're going now!-

'Sorry, sir.'

-Oh, a digger, eh? One of Birdie's? What are you doing with these two strays?-

'Lookin' fer eyeballs, sir.'

-Eyeballs? What nonsense is this?-


"We are talking to a goat. Of a sort, he has no fur, but rather patches of hair clinging to sagging skin, the usual 'beard' of his kind more a collection of roots as between his horns is a collection of luminescent mushrooms that also dot along his spine down to a surpisingly bipedal lower-half, his forelegs instead are minotaur-like arms, but more spindly and end in gnarled hands with long fingers and longer fingernails. He holds a cudgel and is looking quite skeptically at us over a pair of spectacles."


'...wow, sir, s'right accurate that is.'

"Thank you."

>You know what I said about describing everything in detail?


>Forget the detail part.


-Oh bugger this, I'm too old to be cavorting with vagrants, away with you, shoo!-


"He went into what appears to be a small house built into the tunnel wall. He is glaring at us through the moth-eaten curtains. Hello again, I'm Lavan!"

>What'd I just say?

'C'mon, mum, just a ways further now if we're hittin' residences. Birdie's office shouldn't be far away!'

"Hurray, I cannot wait to describe her!"




"But be clear about it!"

>Good boy.
Don't know why, but that face seems more terrifying than usual at the moment.
Way to go, 88. That's going to make total sense to the giant fire thing.
She STILL thinks he's just a big dumb unicorn, doesn't she?

The scream of 'WHAT THE FUCK!?' is going to break glass when she gets her sight back.
If she even believes it, she might just think she's hallucinating or something. It's what I would assume.
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But Anon, she just wants you to have a good night and sleep well. Don't you want to sleep well?
That's bad?

I was trying to get Gamer Luna to be a thing. xD
And extra sharp. Not 'cutting throu steel beams' sharp, but razor sharp is good.
>lets her talk through it
As in while holding it in mouth? Meh.
>communication with Pommel
>turns things it cuts into gold or "gold"
Make it pyrite, and make it work only on non-organics.

Also, add voice-activated auto-return enchantment.
Since I saw the screentime acquisition omake. To whoever uses Flim and Flam, they are currently out of the dungeon but still locked away in where Blueblood got moved to post Arana. They got the upgrade after they helped out during the zombie thing.
See...that's the thing. Look at those eyes man. Those eyes. Those are not the eyes of mercy or kindness. Those are the eyes of laughter as you choke on your own blood...
Yeah, you either have to get him out, or send whoever is talking to them to them.
Speaking of Blue, where is he in all of this? Potatojack and him aren't still polishing floors, are they?
You can't spell slaughter without laughter.
Last we saw Blueblood, he was being surrounded by a mob that Arana scared off while screaming "SPIDER NOISES!"
That is adorable.
Can you just "Nope" reality? She is gonna try.
Oh yeah, because my heart has a permanent crease from the contraction caused by that hnnnng, I remember now.
What's going on currently? Everyone on a train to the beach or what?
Not sure if being a gamer is all that special now, considering Fawntaine is putting out legit simulation tech if that arcade in Partyland was anything to go by
Kings are getting dropped off, Aj has no plans post that Chrysalis Shiny and Cell are gonna meet them when they arrive and no pllans, and the CE ponies are doing "Something" to get rid of the CE crew.
On the train heading towards the CE.

Also on that train, having got on when they passed through Canterlot after leaving Ponyville.

>Main Fourremaining
Getting ready for a trip, Pinkie is still waiting at the train station.

Currently heading to the station to meet the lings when they arrive.

>the other CE crew
Business as usual.

>The Crystal Ponies
Hatching a plot to get rid of everyone for a few days so they can investigate things and not look like dicks.

Still in the castle.
Hey, guy who wants that 'Guard fixes shit' Robot Invasion thing. Can I propose an idea?

It doesn't have to be Coltsly who fucks up Primrose.

One of the proposed spies was from Stalliongrad, right? Stalliongrad has worked with Fawntaine in the past, tons and tons of bots. What if that guy notices there's one Fawntaine bot around a bunch of third-party models and concludes that the Princesses would try and hide critical intel in plain sight. He tries to steal it, gets Home Alone'd for a while, then finally decides 'If I can't have it, they can't!' and tries to factory reset Primrose and unleashes the havoc?

>Mom? Mommy? Momma? Mamarelly? Mom-

"Yes, sweetie?"

>Yer' grindin' yer' teeth.

"Is that alllll?"

>Ah, no, actually Ah' was just wonderin' if there was a parade goin' on today.


>I like parades.

"Sure, okay, that makes sense."

>...ya' gonna-

"Sweetie, I'm reading."

>Oh, right, sure....



"Please, Two."

>Oh, okay.


>....I'mma go check somethin'.

"Have, fun!"


"Oh thank Faust, now I can finally get some reading done... what was she talking about with the parade anyway?... Meh, probably doesn't matter..."
Happy New Year in advance, /pa/ls, here's to another wonderful year.
Screaming the WORDS "SPIDER NOISES" or screaming out spider noises?

I must know.
Oh good we're
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I get ready for the New Years Party! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!!


>Yep, how goes the Dream Eater problem?

"Yes about that. We are concerned. You have been attacked by dream eaters 3 times now. We are beginning to think they target you because of your show. Perhaps it may be best to put the show on hiatus until the Dream Eater threat has been dealt with."

>Whoa what?! How long will it be?

"However long it takes to put an end to it."

>You can't do that!

"It'd be safer if you did. You were dealing with lone Dream Eaters. My nightguards have been expending large efforts to prevent them from organizing. What's going to happen when they decide to come in larger numbers?"

>If we put the show on hiatus then the terrorists win! Er the Dream Eaters! We can't let them spread their terror, it would only make the nightmares worse wouldn't it? Please, can't you assign somepony here for protection?

"We're stretched as it is.

>How about if I get my pinks together for protection?

"...hm, your group has faired well together. We suppose that arrangement can work."
A guard opens a door and waves for Luna's attention.

"If you can convince your friends then yes you can keep the show going. For now we must leave."

>Uh that's all the time we have everypony! Sweet dreams and here's hoping I get another season.
*we're back

God damn it. I can't even finish a thought.


The words.

Yeah, let that sink in for a bit, we have an ambulance on stand-by to resuscitate as needed.
Not him but holy shit, that is somehow even more adorable than her trying to actually make spider noises.
>AJ, despite her efforts from many, cannot get her armor all the way off, and decides to live with it.
>Refusing to let that get her down, she resolves that, instead, she's going to be a better princess! To try harder than ever before, to be the mare she was always meant to be! She was going to march up to Canterlot, and-
>...And learn from Dash that, in fact, that's not happening.
>And then she must scream.
>Meanwhile, SA questions what could have happened to the unconscious Chrysalis, getting zero helpful answers from anyone.
>41 and SP lament they missed the lucha show.
>13 walks in when Chitania hires a certain mailmare to fly to Canterlot to go tell Sweet Note to get on the train that will take them to the Empire. She learns this is because Chitania isn't willing to leave her even for a moment, and the two bond over it.
>Chrysalis wakes up and is immediately questioned by Shining Armor. She continually asserts she didn't make it worse, but Shining cannot care about any of that. He openly admits that he never cared about it for them, but because he was worried something was going to happen to her. Again and again, he questions Chrysalis who hurt her, but Chrysalis merely dodges the question and blows him off, acting as flippant as ever.
>Still, eventually she convinces him everything is okay, and he admits he doesn't need to make her promise not to mess anything up intentionally anymore, he trusts her now.
>Later, 42 asks if she requires an assassination.
>32's embassy is being shut down, so JJ convinces him to go to the Empire to show he's okay, never knowing that Chrysalis sent a spy to go make sure of that already.
>Quicksilver is not cleared of his debt. In fact, he somehow makes it way worse.
>Lavan takes 88 on a wild adventure! While trying to fix her eyes in a desolate wasteland, they literally pop right out of her head and roll off...He's not very good at this.
>Blind and reliant on Lavan to direct her, she gets into all sorts of strange situations when Lavan's magic makes it grow giant mushrooms everywhere the eyeballs land.
>She bounces around and eventually ends up underground, where she meets up with a strange mole... who is talking.
>This is gonna be a weird ride.
>56 learns from Harshwhinny that the Lunar Guard captains name is Mourning Mist... yes, you read that right.
>Yes, she is a complete fruitcase.
>AJ feels sorry for herself for about half a second before Dash knocks her out of it by pointing out that she went full Rarity.
>Sweet Note is so happy she's going to the Empire that she is literally swinging on Chitania's horn.
>She is literally doing that, swinging on her horn.
>Also she is super catty with 32.
>2 tries to keep Cadence company, but can't sit still.
>Twilight lost the keys to her tanks.
>Mane-Iac is mad that Chrysalis was in a battle and didn't invite her.
>Pommel wonders if he should say something to a sad 29, 77 tells him not to bother, as he'll only make it worse.
>Celestia bursts in while Shiny is lamenting what a terrible day he had, ready for fun and excitement!
>Then he has to tell her about Chrysalis.
>She is not happy.
>Pennydrop sends Flash and Fizzle on an assignment to go force the mare who's seeing 7 to break up with him.
>LD tries to be intimidating, Bulk makes this hard.
>The others, not including AJ, wonder what to do with their free time, and Pinkie insists they go have fun.
>Even though Celestia tries to chew out Chrysalis, the bug queen laughs her off and won't tell her what happened. She gets up despite Celesita's protests, and says she's going to meet the lings when they arrive.
>Shining is less than thrilled about this, and tries to take her back to be via force, but she convinces him not to.
>MM is wallowing in the pity of not being a good mayor.
>Then Trixie jinxes it and now MM is being investigated since, you know, her situation is eerily similar to the CE's one.
>She cries harder while Zecora stangles Trixie.
>Rarity and Spike talk about their relationship, and Spike admits he never really moved past her, and Rarity admits she wishes things had been different before resolving to go talk to AJ.
>The Crystal Ponies are worried about 18 or the royals being influenced in some way, but don't want to look like dicks by kicking out the guys who keep saving them to find the answers.
>So, they hatch a plan...

>Are you sure you're okay?

"Just fine."

>...She's not okay.

'Could not be more obvious about it.'

"Bah, I'm fine."

'Who do you suppose did it?'

>I have a hunch...

'Discord? Lavan?... Fluttershy on a bad day by accident?'

>I'll tell you later.

'Hearing that a lot lately...'

>Well, mine is because of the totally reasonable reason that I don't want to jump to conclusions or falsely accuse or mislead.

'Very smart!... yours?'


'I thought as much.'


'Oh you, never knowing how lucky you are that anybody actually cares enough to know.'


'Hm... maybe I was wrong.'

>...but seriously, are you going to collapse?



>You know, that would look worse than actually looking like you were wounded, right?

"Meh, I'll say I got a dizziness spell from the pregnancy."


'...I... I can hear the screams... through time and space... I can hear them...'



“I know. When I first found out, I was… honestly, it kept me up at night, just thinking….”


“I kept asking myself, would I go that far? Would I be willing to stop being… me… to do my duty?”


“Was performance even a question with the risks so high? Could I be counted on to give my very best when called, to be there when needed? So many questions, so few answers… Yes, I know your shock very well, I experienced back then and in mild intervals I’m experiencing it right now, through you. This a connection we now share as two insignificant specks of life on this great planet—a connection formed through secrecy and held through trust. We must cherish this moment, Fifty-Six, not only as bonded individuals but as pony and changeling. Strides are being made this day, strides towards a better understanding on levels we never knew could exist. I’m sure that you, as a changeling in the chitin, can understand the need to… alter one’s self, for the sake of accomplishing what needs to be done; surely you above all others must see her reasoning! The irony is simply too great to ignore! But… me? Admittedly, I find it rather hard to grasp, being only a pony, a stallion, all my life, but that’s what makes learning so rich and fulfilling. Tell me, Fifty-Six, how does this moment of clarity strike you? It is rare I ask but I must know, I want to experience sensations from the other side of the hoof as it were, so please, impart some wisdom unto me. What say you?”

>So that’s why her plot looks like I could bounce a bit off it….




>I mean, yeah, I can see it… if her real name’s Potsticker, gotta be some mad love for food there, ya know? An’ a mare like her, Lunar Guard Captain an’ all, she’s trainin’ day in an’ day out, doin’ squats, makin’ sure all that food goes to the right places….

“…did... did you not catch any of what I sa-”

>Moons has the bestest booty ever, ever, so it only makes sense that her es-eye-see would too!


>Ooooooo, an’ just think! I get to train under her once I find out where in the heck their common room is!

‘Hmph. I see ‘Sticks is still using the same tired ‘hide and seek’ approach for new recruits. I don’t see why she doesn’t just invite you cordially, like any normal pony would, but then again, we’re talking about Miss Drama over here. Takes right after her princess, I swear.’


‘Tell you what, little insect, when we reach the castle, barring some unforeseen circumstance, I’ll just show you where the nightguard common room is. You seem eager enough, ‘Sticks should be jumping up and down for some fresh mea-’

>Nuh! Thanks, Miss Wide Hips, but I gotta do this on my own! I gots a lot ridin’ on this, an’ it’ll mean nothin’ if I get help like that. ‘Cause after I finally make it in, I’ll be able to run up to my ‘cuz, show ‘im my diploma or whatever they give out… an’ then he’ll hug me. An’ he’ll know he didn’t waste his time savin’ me back then, that I CAN do somethin’! An’… an’ then everything’ll be awesome…


‘…Well, then.’

“I have never wanted to simultaneously punch and hug something so bad before....”

No on said anything about it, so I'm going to assume the usual guy didn't see it.

I got us new art.
...that's both painfully funny for Jetset and painfully cute.

I don't know how to feel right now.
I saw, and I had a moment, but I was at work and couldn't respond.

Your friends at is as awesome as ever, man. Thanks. ...And now to wait for the usual exclamation.

In fact, I have not! I've been traveling for the holidays and haven't even finished catching up on last thread! Thank you do much for pointing that out, I worry I would have missed it in my skimming!

Holy shit, I totally missed that!

How did I miss that!? That's fucking amazing!
Same way I did, I got lulled into a false sense of security after so many LNPPs with pics I already saw. I'm too used to other threads who do a big song and dance and solo posts just for the art.

But you, PP anon, you are still classy and bring the stories with the art, and you know what? That's goddamn special. You and your buddy deserve praise.

Happy new year.
Ah there it is.

It was the picture I used in my last story in the previous thread.

Aw shucks thanks. I'll be sure to make sure he hears. Happy New Years (eve depending where you are).
It was during the Omakes, which is why. Easy mistake.

Oh fuck, I can hear AJ just groaning.

This is perfect.
>It was the picture I used in my last story in the previous thread.
>It was during the Omakes,


I went to bed and missed the omakes, that's why. Okay, now I feel better.

I was weirded out because I ALWAYS check the LNPP picture just to see if something new pops up, so I was wondering how I could have missed something like that.

Okay, I feel better, it wasn't me, it was the unavoidable grasp of the need for sleep. DAMN YOU BIOLOGY!

He didn't know how long he had been staring out the window, or if he had ever even noticed at all. He had just been looking without seeing, waiting for something that just never seemed to arrive.

Waiting for something to happen, at last.

"Twenty Nine!?"

It had been the very first voice to say his name, the very first one to acknowledge his existence directly, and not just through hushed whispers between each other. So shocked was he that someone had even bothered, he couldn't help but at last turn his looks away from the thing he had long since stopped caring for.

The one speaking to him was, to put it simply, unexpected.


"What the heck are you doing here!?"

Strange, when he thought about it, that he had not spoken to the juggling ling since Partyland, when he had been callously blown off due to his, simply put, 'nature'.

Yet there the fool was, looking at him with honest, real concern. All past meetings seemingly forgotten.

>I am to see the Queen to show her my continued existence.

"Oh... but, I mean, aren't you going to be missed back home?"

The wince said more than any of his words could have.

"...No freaking way."

>I've been... ahem, requested a... leave of absence.

"Ahhhh... ahhh, fuck..."

Strangely, the other ling took the free seat next to him, plenty of space thanks to the wide breadth given, and seemed to slump in worry.

"Damn... you too?"

>Is this surprising to you?

"Well... yeah? I dunno. I just figured that, you know... I don't know."

>How clear and expletive, mine head spins at thine vocabulary prowess.

"It's just... I dunno, I guess Acty kind of skewed what I thought they could be. I thought... you know..."

Never before had he seen the changeling be so worried, never. Not that he had much frame of reference.

"You starting to worry about this too?"

>...I don't care about the brainless, witless masses.


His whole body shifted when he turned away, looking clear to the glass that separated the world outside from the warm air within.

"But they're like... everyone. I mean, Acty's... I knew he was kinda special, but I was hoping he wasn't super rare, you know? At least, not in his... himness."


"...You need to talk?"

It was a strange offer, one he truly never really expected to hear from him, or any ling really.

>No, thank you.

Which made it all the stranger when he would not bring himself to take up the offer.

>You uh... you want me to-

"I'm not in the mood for juggling.

"Ahhh... well, sorry, that's the only two things I'm good at.

>I thank you for the effort.

"Well, uh... hang in there, buddy, it'll be okay."

It was a simple, baseless, vague and ultimately useless placation, the posh ling was well aware. Yet, there was something special in the almost patronizing shoulder pat the other one gave him before getting up again.

"I mean... hey, we've survived worse, haven't we?"


If nothing else, that seemed to please him enough that the other one could shuffle off, as quietly as a changeling could.

>...Indeed, I suppose I have...

>...Alright, nobody's lookin'...

Time to try this again.

Reach out, just like before, talk to them and-

"Majesty, we need you to-"








They had waited.

They had waited so long.

Stealing away in the shadows, traipsing into their hiding place, then waiting.


It was truly the hardest part.

But soon, they would flee their best friend's suitcase and remind him of their presence!


...I totally forgot those two existed.
Right? Glad to see them still around, though.
Join the club!

There it was.

Coming around the bend, just barely visible in the snow and the hail.

That chugging, whirring, thumping sound of a train ringing out in the cool air, a sound that carried even through the majestic shield that protected this land and all it's inhabitants from the bitter freezing cold. That shining beacon in that frost deadly to the world raced on, plowing through the elements without a care. Power of ingenuity, and science. Power, to bring the changelings home.

>There they are.

"Right on time."

'As expected, I take it.'

"Of course."

>So... what happens now?

"Now, Shining? Well... now is a new day, isn't it? New challenges, new battles... but you know me, I so love to get into a scuffle."

'And lose those scuffles, track record wise.'

"I win in the end."

>Sure you do.

"Oh, have no worries... no matter what comes next, no matter what is to arise... I'm going to win."

Bright, gleaming fangs peered through the inky blackness of her lips, white signs of power in a void of impenetrable hide.

"Never forget, I, am Quee-"







>...Twenty Nine was on that?

"Did I forget to mention that?"

>You did.

"Forgot to turn off the shield that keeps him out?"

>I did.




...ouch. Poor Niney.
This is NOT his day.
What shield was in place to keep him out, I forget.
he kept trying to seduce Shining and Cadance, so Shining made a shield to keep him out

29 used to bug Cadence(and Shining) for sex all the time ala 18. Only he was a lot more insulting/annoying about it, and refused to actually do anything useful even when the opportunity presented itself. Oh, and he insulted Two and implied she was screwing Shiny once. Eventually it got so bad Shining threw up a shield to keep him, and only him, out of the Empire. And since those pre-days, he never returned except for the one ghost-orphan story when he blew up Sombra, the shield was still up then too.

This is the ultimate brick joke.
Thaaaat's what I thought it was, ha! Thanks for reaffirming that my memory is not complete shit.

>...Was... was that my dear brother Twenty Nine?

"That mareish scream seemed like that one I was chasing."

'That was Twenty Nine, yeah.'

[He just... flew through the walls.]

>I was unaware he was on the train. Why was he on the train. He has a home, he doesn't need to... why was he on the train?

"The fuck was that all about?"

'I...I have no idea.'

>Stop ignoring me.

[...Think he's dead?]



"...Why would he do that? There was already a hole. A big one."

'Well, almost all of the hive is still... pretty good.'

[...I think he's dead.]

"Ten bits says he's alive. The weaselly ones never die."

[You're on honey!]

'One of my hivemates just went through a train.'

"I look on the brights side of life, thank you."

>>I have a hunch...


Some certain Farmmare is going to be another addition to Shiny's "Get's throbbing erections from the prospects of their deaths" list...
She already broke the bitches arm, if Chrysalis isn't hounding for her blood he'll probably just give her a stern headbop at worst.
Nah, he's gotta unleash his pent up cock rage at some point.

All that blue balling just isn't healthy for the dude
Oh, well, then the answer is simple.

Hatesex that would break the city.
You know what, I really wouldn't mind that. Have mountains crack, clouds part, oceans ripple, fillies and colts singing in the background... yeah, I could rock that. Shame I can't write smut for my soul or I'd AD it in a heartbeat.
>AJ gets more dick from Shining Armour than Cadence will EVER get

Feels good, mayng
Next on /paj afterdark/

AJ vs Shiny

An Ultimate Surrender Crossover Story
Damn, them were some quick responses (including mine)!

AJxShiny must strike a cord somewhere.
>It ends with them genuinely cuddling each other out of a need for intimate contact, crying softly as they realise how empty their lives are.
Okay, you had me before the 'crying' part. Everything before that would be excellent to read.
>AJxShiny must strike a cord somewhere.

Similar character mindsets and a lack of stability in their life surrounded by crazier and wilder individuals and the pent up aggression that causes.

Plus, Hatesex with the straightman character is hot.
[Hey, you guys hear something else?]



"There goes Guard Captain-"



"-and the one-eyed one that really wanted to sleep. Lovely."
>whole series culminates in a AJxShiny end

Would not be mad. Bewildered, stunned, and fucking confused, but far from mad.


I prefer this more than Harem end.

It seems more..... "close the book" for the whole thing.

These two had to slug through the whole sojourn fighting for what was RIGHT.
You know what, even as one of the bigger AJxSpike cheerleaders, when I think about it, AJxShiny would be that unexpected win that kept me smiling long after the fact.


{So do we... help?}

(He needs this, Quicksilver... for his pride.)

{...So no.}

(Fucking no, that asshole called me Squalid... fucking show him who's squalid.)

{Do you actually know what that means?}

(It means shut up.)
FUCK no. Just NO.

Just...Hell Fucking No.

You want to write something in AD or NC Omakes? Whatever.

But as far as canon goes FUCK THAT.

Just throw pretty much every character under the bus for a ship that has pretty much zero background?

I am sick and damn tired of seeing shit like that.

Fuck this. In the ass.With a cactus. On fire. Until it chokes to death on it's own blood. And burns in hell.
I would argue that virtually everything started has 'zero background' until given background, but I won't.

I'll just sit here, sip my coffee, and... think.
And I thought I was prepared to go shitpost central over something in the thread
>I am sick and damn tired of seeing shit like that.

When has it actually happened?

Or do you mean "Sick of watching people talk about it, because people shouldn't be allowed to say things like that because I said so." Chillout, mein friend. You can't get so riled up until you see it in the actual store. I mean, we talked about making the Nightguard ninjas... we talk up some crazy shit.

That said, I would totally buy an eventual Shiny/AJ thing if they wrote it right, but right now goddamn you would have to put in some work.
It hasn't happened in this thread. But I've seen it more than once in other media I was enjoying right up until someone decided to pull something like this out and shit the bed right at the end.
Not the other guy, but dude, you know how things are done around here.

Throw it at the wall, see what sticks. Always been the formula, tested and approved.

I see that set off warning bells in your head but like that other guy said, someone would have to work double time for something like that to fly smoothly.

The others, all of them, had held back. Be they Prince or Princess, Captain or simple guard, changeling or pony, all of them held back as the Queen strode forwards with purpose, and without a single shake in her step.

Likewise, all eyes watched as the princess strode forwards, a solid hit to every step of her hooves, a strong straight back born through years of working hard, and toiling in the field.

They marched, two beings of seemingly untold power, each one surpassing an army in their own right, to meet in the middle of this platform that connected the trains stretching wide to the Empire's splendor.

There, surrounded on all side by watchful eyes, they met. Power danced between them as they locked eyes, and spoke with magic that could bring down nations.

>...He ain't dead.

"Oh thank fuck!"

>Right!? Why didn't ya' tell Shiny ta' turn off the dang shield!

"I didn't know he was coming!"

>Ya' had ta' have guessed!

"Well excuse me, I was a little out of it because of reasons!"

>Oh sure, everybody but yer' own fault.

"You knew about it too!"

>Yeah, but you knew it longer, so this is yer' fault!

"My fault?! This is your fault! You said you would look after them!"

>Ah' said Ah'd look after those ones! You count any of the ones Ya' sent off with me hurtin'? No? Well then, looks like Ah' succeded!

"That's not even- wait, where's the spider one or Potatojack?"




"Oh come on!"

>You don't even like either of them!

"That doesn't mean you can leave them behind! I don't like Twenty Nine either!"

>WHOA! Hold up now! He just got punched through a train, can ya' get a little sympathy here?

"I don't have to like him not to want him to get punched through a train!"

>Ah'm just sayin'!

"I cannot believe you! One job, Applejack! One job!"

>It was a lotta jobs, actually!




"...Is that fucking Thirty Two."

>Jugglejack made him come.

"You could've said no!"

>Oh sure, now ya' don't want me ta' bring changelings you don't like!

"He's different!"


"...Fine, you did a good job, Twenty Nine notwithstanding, which is totally your fault."




A long, awkward silence followed, with tall changeling and shorter pony shuffling uncomfortably in the interim.

>Want me ta' take 'em to the stadium?

"If you would. I need to brief them on stuff in a bit."

>Not feelin' up to it right now?

"Not really."

>...M'kay. Take it easy.

"You too... Glad to see you're all back! Hope you had fun!"

>Howdy ya'll! Nice to see you again!

That was all.

They just waved to the other's side, chipper as a sunny day, turned around, and started walking away, like nothing had even happened. Back to their respective corners to do stuff without a care in the world for the other or anything else.

All the while there was one single thought flowing though all the other's mind. A single mentality, as sure as a hivemind that sank deeply into them.

I know, I know...I'm usually pretty easy going... That just happens to be one of my biggest buttons.

Perhaps I am overreacting but I really don't think I can convey just how against this I am in less vitriolic terms.
>Sets up like it's going to be this big dramatic talk
>They immediately go to bickering like the other one forgot to let the dog out and it peed on the rug

I love it.
Perfect. Perfect and funny.

This is the start of something beautiful, ain't it?

Now in order to capitalise on this, we must have AJ tell her friends why she truly trusts Chrysalis and not to hold any real animosity to her, and same goes for Chrysalis and her own gang.

Actually, I should've elaborated.

A trusts B after a long slew of drama and fights culminates in a realising and resolution between the two.

C, D and E are friends of A, and do not understand why A suddenly changed their mind on B

A does not go to the lengths of explaining why she trusts B, through the reveal and resolution both A and B went through. A simply said "I trust B, and that's it" to them, C,D and E were now confused, and suspicious

This kinda issue happened in the thread way early on, and I'd like to see that not repeated.
>Ah' punched her a lot with rocks. Now we're friends.
"...Yeah, that sounds about right."
Come on desu snepai, you know there's more to that
Honestly, I'm not a big fan of a robot invasion. I'm stressed by what happened during the last arc already and I'd rather not deal with shit in the background. I'm strained as it is. Please let us relax.
I dunno I like it.

Chrysalis on the other hand....

>she hit with a bunch of rocks. Now we're friends.

"...excuse me!?"
Sometimes words aren't enough. Sometimes you just gotta beat the ever loving snot out of one another in order to feel each other and truly see eye to eye.

Happens all the time.
To be fair, even the punching wasn't really what it was about, it was just AJ realizing how far Chrysalis was willing to go for her promise to Shining.


"He's okay, right?"


'Is he at least blinking on occasion?'

[I... haven't seen him do it yet.]


"H-eyyyyy, budddyyy, great news! Uh... the prince is just... so sorry that he has officially lifted the ban he had on you entering into the castle and all that! Yayyyy! No more ban! That's... that's smile worthy, right?"


'It's blink worthy, at least.'


[Should I take him into the closet and try to cheer him up that way? I'll do it.]



'Look, Pommel, I will do whatever it takes, whatever it may be, if he just blinks. That's all I want... that is all I want.'


"Come on, buddy! It's not so bad!"

[...Really? Look, I'm optimistic enough not to have killed myself by now, but name one upswing to his life right now.]

"Not helping!"

[You didn't let me help my way.]

'Twenty Nine? Just... just let meee...'


"You're just poking him in the eye."

'His lids won't close! They just won't! Make it stop! I have seen the fires of tartarus, I have seen demons tall and twisted, I have smelled the rotting flesh of monsters that seek only misery and death, and nothing has disturbed me more than him not blinking!'

[...why hasn't that school been closed down...]


>I'm good.



[...So, that's what it sounds like when you are completely devoid of a soul. I always wondered.]

Yeah...he needs a hug. And possibly a cuddle pile.
>he needs a hug



>banana in the ear
Someone get Celly. She's got extracting to do.
Now that is how you start a new year.
Ironic that while things are looking up for them, for the rest of the changelings things are... uh... pretty bad.
to be fair, they've ALWAYS been pretty bad
...how long has it been since 29 did a ghost thing?
His mini. They came together to help save him.
christ on a pogo stick we haven't had 29 do stupid shit for ghosts since the DREAM MINI!?
...Well, no. After that AJ arrived, and he did stupid shit with Sunset and had his moment with 56, then uh... you know.

Literally, she arrived IMMEDIATELY afterwards and did funnytalk/shapeshifting shenanigans with Sunset.
Happy new year, /pa/.

Here's to some wacky adventures.
I kind of want these four to just pull a Hangover during the vacation arc.
You say that like it wouldn't be:

>Red takes over the robots
>Shenanigans of the yuppies, Coltsly, and the rookie guards trying to stop them failing ridiculously
>The Named Guard return and rally the troops to victory

It's makes me want to say the motto of everyone's favorite anti-alien military force:


Cuz EDF WINS their fights, XCOM Anon~
Happy new year.

And thank you for finally giving AJ her push.
Happy new year!
Happy New Year, here's to many an entertaining story here at /pa/!
I'm not willing to take that chance. They've gone through a robot invasion, and 2 doll attacks. Now someone wants to put them through another robot attack? I'm over the guards and would rather not have my focus split. There'll be other opportunities, but for now just beach episode. Leave your cellphones behind.
>not have my focus split

You don't have to participate if you don't want. This doesn't have to be about you.
So...on the beach arc...

Are chitania & co going to be there? Or will they be in the canterlot library?

Also, will DT and the CE crew be there right from the start or will there be a slight delay?

I have some things I want to do...but only on day 1.
I know what you mean.

And epic showdown.

Threads in the making.

Happy New Years from the west coast.
Look, the last three times I didn't participate, my stress levels were still way high each time. I'm expressing the desperate need for a breather before the next crazy thing happens. I can't stop my fellow writers from doing whatever, but I will voice that not all of us want a potential escalating situation so soon, so there. Peace good night.
I would agree with this. All I wanna do at the mo' is relax and have the sillies for a spell. As he said though, can't stop who wants to write what, I'll just sit on the sidelines and pen some fluff for awhile.
Good morning to a brand new year/pa/!
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and there's going a surprise!

"-and that was mah time with Pinkie. Ah' was just so tired in the morning."

'Could be worse, darling. I spent most of my time on a...throne. Yeah a throne.'

[That doesn't sound bad at all.]

'I...did a lot of things that I'm not proud of.'

{Oh my, I know that feeling. One time, I ended up scolding Mr. Bluebird because he kept being mean to another bird that was standing on a Zebra's shoulder.}

+So we're all here because Pinkie invited us to a dream party here right?+

^At least I got the invite this time. Where is she?^

"Don't look at me. Ah'm in the dark about this."

'Perhaps she's being fashionably late.'

[I'm sure Pinkie will show up sooner or later.]

{I hope it's not some sort of surprise party. I don't want to get startled.}

+There's cake over there, so I'm pretty sure it's a half right at least.+

^Dibs on the first slice of cake.^
Spike cuts into the cake when Pinkie pops out startling everyone.

>SURPRISE!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Don't answer that 'cause it's rhetorical and if we could we'd use gang signs~

[Pinkie that's not how the lyrics go.]

>I forgot how they went, but that's okay. While our time with each other here is brief, let's cherish the memories we've made in the past and smile for the future as we make new ones! You girls and Spike too, are the best friends that a mare can ever ask for. I love you all!


>I'm going to spend hang out with my friends now, but to my viewers out there, I wish you a better year than the last!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are the only ones you have to invent a reason for them to go. Everyone else is currently in the empire (sans 29's friends) and will take one big train when we are ready.
We really can just have them brush it off without a reveal. It doesn't change anything for us to let it out but give some anon an excuse to have someone distrust AJ..And yes the whole lying by omission lesson, that doesn't mean they have to spell out why they are on the same page now. We even had the only relevant to a reveal parties figure it out for themselves (shiny did and he will tell Celestia).
A and B were Shiny and Chrysalis
C, D, and E were Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack who all didn't trust her.
This time A and B are Chrysalis and AJ
C,D, and E are Celestia, Shiny, and Dash I guess
We are at a way different point right here since the one being distrusted was already friends with everyone else whereas when it was Shiny the entire Mane 6 hated Chrysalis still. So even if you want to bring up Rarity or Dash (the last two who don't like her), it isn't relevant since Chrysalis was the distrusting one going in and AJ had already made up with her before she left.

So we won't have a Twilight looking for ghosts and accidentally releasing a titan here. Because her friends are not going to put AJ under a microscope.

You can say that but through all of AJ's introspection it boiled down to a catharsis beating of Chrysalis for AJ to get over the grudge she still held.

>...so! How was your day?


>Aw, don't look so glum, my dear friend. Look at us, you managed to distract the titan long enough for our erstwhile apple to...well I wouldn't exactly call it saving the day but certainly calming things down. And I, well, I'm only mildly beaten-verging nearly on pulpish, true-but he who hasn't stared death in the face has never truly lived, right? Right.

"Yeah, I'm going to need a description of the ponies who beat you up. That's is deeeefinitely a crime."

>Oh pish posh, I couldn't tell you what they looked like if I wanted to. Sadly it was all a blur of pastel colors and gaudy jewelry. No no no, to focus on those ingrates is to bury the lead! Let them whither as footnotes in anonymity, I've got bigger fish to fry, and a brand new giant grill to do it on.

"What kind of grill?"

>Let's just say I have a new friend, lower-of course-than you in my heart, he being new to my inner circle, but I think you'll enjoy what he brings to the table.

"...I got a bad feeling about this..."

>Worst ling, ME, will they? We'll see how they like it when my new friend arrives, that'll-

"You're talking like Chrysalis again."

>Whoops...this is going to be a really big accomplishment and if they insist on calling me that afferwards, I'm going to be quite disappointed.


>Thank goodness.

As said before, as always done without fail, there was the target. Waiting, as if by invitation, sitting there and ready to be snatched up and taken away without a sound, as had been done so very many times before, also without fail.

With ease, that little bungle of energy could be gone in a blink, were it no for one single problem.

"Somethings wrong with the castle."

'I can see that, thank you.'

"Now, I'm not a stranger to getting funny looks, but-"

[That was most unprofessional glaring.]

"...What do you think happened?"

'That I do not know is... worrying.'

[Hrmph, everything was fine when I left... this is bothering me.]

Now, there were several problems.

Not that defeating them would not be an ease, an infiltrator of high caliber should be able to take on any two ponies, one of which is a mere earth pony, short of Alicorn or powerful magician. This could easily be solved with swift, powerful blows, a grip tight as death, and away the changeling below would go.



Infiltration was a fine art, and sometimes the needless fighting is best left to the soldiers.

'About time they said something.'

"...Hiya! Uh... who are you?"

Dropped down without a sound, all while brushing off that comment. Of course they knew, surely, they weren't just saving face.


>No worries about who I am, Majesty just sent me here to retrieve you and spirit you back to the Empire until this whole mess dies down. Not a kidnapping, so please stop looking like you want a fight.

Most times, in infiltration, not fighting is by far the most important task.

Not that the idiots lower on the rankings would know that.

"Oh... well, I can't!"

>I'm afraid this comes straight from... 'not-mom'.


The internal shudder would have made a lesser being wretch, but powering through it was key. It was supposedly a keyword to be used to force the matter, according to her Majesty, even if the thought of a mere stupid drone like that being on familial terms with her Higheness was like acid to the stomach.

"Ahhhh, she'll understand."

That even then he was flippant was... unsettling.

>No, she won't, she's recalled every other active changeling, even including the traitor.

"Whooooaaaa... she called Thirty Two? That's.... whooooooa."

>Yes... whoa.

Do not kill the target, do not kill the target.

"Well... I mean, I guess if it's serious enough she'll call him..."

Thank goodness.

>Do hurry, even Twenty Nine is to be recalled as well. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you as well.


Well, every infiltrator makes mistakes sometimes. From the look on the small lings face, that had been... a mistake.

Strange, the intel said they were close, that should have been a slam dunk finisher. Instead, it looked like he had been told the dentist was waiting for him.

>This isn't up for debate.

"Sorry, my ling from another mother, but I can't! Cause I've got to make it to the common room!"

>The... what?

"Can't explain, super secret you see."

'Even though he told it to both of us instantly.'

[That he did it to you is especially jarring.]

>I'm afraid we don't have time for this.

In brazen defiance, the little ling planted himself like a sprout.

"Can't do it!"

>And why not, exactly?

"Because Cuz... he's counting on me. And if that means I gotta fight to make sure I can prove him right, then that's what I'm gonna do!"

Hooves steady, head low, face smiling, he looked ready for a battle.

"I'm gonna make it to that common room, I'm gonna be a nightguard, and I'm gonna prove him right-"

That's enough of that.

The CRACK as he bounced off the wall was just a little satisfying.

[Was that really necessary?]


Strange, while the unicorn pony clearly had some sort of issue with his actions, the other one looked like they had been given a scribbled paper to grade.

>He said he wished to fight.

[Most children say that, beating them isn't supposed to be the go to response.]

>What can I say? He had something to prove, and I suppose he proved it. Why, do you have an issue? I'd rather not fight you, your princess and my Queen are currently allies.

[Me? Ha ha!]

Okay, even compared to the Queen, that was derisive.

And that was really saying something.

[Oh, please. I'm not one of those silly fighters, you unprofessional scrub. Does it look like I am about to break out into kung fu? Fight like some chineighs stereotype? Please. I don't fight, and I most certainly do not directly serve the princess. Seeing as I'm the Equestrian Games representative, that would be quite unprofessional to have a conflict of interest, no? I teach professionalism, I make you the most you can be.]


[Yes, and you, are quite unprofessional.]

>How do you figure?


There was a pain, a very peculiar kind of pain, a special kind, right in a special place.

[Because you forgot that little runt is damn near indestructible.]

Not true, in fact the opposite, as bruises would probably anger the Queen.

But that was a thought for another time.

"HA! I totally!... Huh, you know, most guys fall down after you kick them right there."

Right now was the stinging pain, and the need for clarification.

>...I'm a mare.




It was going to be one of those missions.

That is, without question, the funniest line Jetset has ever said.
>A mare who looks like a stallion.

Someone call Quicksilver, quick!

Also, happy New Year and stuff.
A whole year of LNPP, wow. It's been a trip man, and I can't wait to see what the next year hold with these Dream Eaters. It's going to be awesome!
How hard is "changelings are currently banned from the castle". I mean he is stupid but give him some credit.
He hasn't reached the castle yet, he can just see that something is wrong and others are glaring at him. If he had reached the castle he would have been arrested or something, or somebody would have told him or the other two with him. Last story all three were still on their way to the castle, they can just see something is wrong from here.

None of them know what's going on
Who's Masculing?
My guess? Just a new mook for 56 to shrek to 'prove himself' without messing with any of the other's storylines or getting into continuity problems.

I went and thought it was 42

Munch munch.


Munch munch slurrrrp...


Munch munch chomp slurp chomp

"You are probably wondering what that noise is."

>Noooo. Not at all, Lavan, not. At. All. Because you know what? I'm through trying to even understand the things you keep telling me are happening.

"It's not that complicated."

>No, it probably isn't. It's probably just some horrible monster that you will either undersell to a nonsensical level or tell me about with a horrible level of detail.

Munch schlrp crunch.

"Not reall you see-"

>Don't wanna hear it.

"But it's just-"

>No! We are going to ignore the awful noises and keep walking towards Birdie. Who is probably a big dumb bird that's a pun I won't get and have mushrooms all over her because you can't walk five steps down here without a mushroom being around! No more discussion of the noises! Nothing! None! Zip!



Munchy crunchy slurpy munch.


'Huh? Oh, sorry, mum. Your friend's fire keeps roasting these mushroom roots. It's a right good treat, it is.'

>...why...why did you not speak up?

'Ya said not to, mum.'


'...want some?'

>Yes please.


>Huh, it IS good.

'Told ya, mum.'
So do you think 88 just thinks this is all one big drug trip?

Like, nothing is actually happening, and the unicorn that brought her here just doesn't know how to describe stuff.

>Not recognizing 42
>So do you think 88 just thinks this is all one big drug trip?

I'm of two minds if she even thinks she's awake at all, or if being turned into a plantmonster made her more open to crazy shit.
...They're probably gonna hate him anyway.

At least, when Chrysalis stops screaming in terror.

Watching Applejack herd the changelings off was... amazing. In it's simplicity, there was a peace to be had with it, a sense of serenity the prince had not felt in quite some time.

Or at least for a couple hours, his date had been going off pretty good before this whole mess, thinking about it... lots had happened in a very short time.

But there was something inside of him, at ease, with watching the Queen not react has he had come to expect her to, even if it were as much for herself as his fellow pony royal. For the first time in a long time, he felt at peace.

Even if, if his suspicions rang true, he was going to say some things to the former earth pony.

Loud things.

In her face.

But now was not the time to think of a future where he let out that weird feeling in his chest, now was a time for living in the moment, for living in this brief spot in an otherwise cloudy day where the lights shined down on him, and he felt warmth.

This was that time.

>...Everything went better than expected.

"This is all your fault."

'You fool.'

Those, of all the multitude of the equestrian language, were by far the last words he expected to hear coming out of the mouths of the tallest royalty. Pretty far down on the list, at least.

However, they quickly shot to the top of his 'should have seen this coming' list the moment he turned around, and found himself face to face with what the twin statues of white and black themselves were facing.

And just when he had thought he'd had enough mobs for the day. Much like Two when she made pancakes, it seemed the universe had missed the look of bloated discomfort on his face at the mere thought of ever seeing another cake of any kind again and piled on more on his plate.



Seemingly the entirety of his Empire, or at least a positively massive chunk, were now a solid wall of bodies that had snuck up on him as if they had all be taking nightclasses to be ninjas. Which, of course, was silly, because everyone knew the ninja class happened at three o' clock, next to the kickboxing class whom which they were bitter rivals. Nonetheless, their sneaking prowess was to be admired, for they had crept upon a pony so lost in thought he could not feel the ground shaking.

He should probably make a trophy or something.

>Is there... something I can help anybody with?

There were three options here.

One, they were merely heading somewhere and he had gotten in their way like the rude fellow he could be sometimes, which was sadly not likely.

Two, the thought of deposing him and casting him out slash doing something far worse had become a troubling reality, and he was now going to have to go full bubble-death mode just to make it to the castle while protecting the Queen who, quite frankly, was more than likely able to be defeated by a particularly determined mouse in her current state, which... was far more likely than he wanted to admit.

Or three, they had all gotten the wrong impression from Eighteen's current status and now wished to form a massive citywide harem for him... he wished dearly for the days when he could say that was stupid.

He missed those days.

If option one wasn't on the table, option two wouldn't have been that bad. That said, option two at the very least looked least likely, seeing as every single one of them had the most massive, sometimes glaringly fake, smiles on their faces.

His options suddenly became universally bad. Just across the board, bad.

This shit never happened when he was a guard.

~Ahem! Prince Shining Armor! We uh... well...~


They all looked to each other in such a way that, had they literally not all been in there, he would have started calling the guard to arrest them. There was nothing okay about that look.

That look made him want to hide Two, and Cadence, and even Sombra. He wanted to hide Sombra right now, that's where he was at.

He didn't know whether to be thankful or terrified when one shuffled forwards.

At the very least, his smile looked slightly less fake? Small blessings.

For his blessings right now were as small as could be.

~Welllll, to be honest, we weren't going to do this. We figured, with all the whole... reveal thing and all that, this would look a little off, but you know what we thought? That's exactly why we should do it! We want things to get back to normal, and they can't get back to normal if we forgo our traditions!~


All of them nodded. All of them, at the same time, still smiling.

He was three seconds from running out into the blizzard and hiding in the snow, they would never find him there.

It was foolproof.

~Yes, sire! For, every... Equinox on this day of the year, we are supposed to hold a big celebration and send our royals out fooooorrr...~

They had to have choreographed it, no way could they all just snap up like that and throw out their hooves in such perfect formation otherwise.


He was now deaf in his left ear, he was pretty sure.

>...Vacation? But... but I already went on one a few months ago.

Was it possible for a crowd to go 'OH SHIT' all at the same time?

At least internally, it most certainly way.

~R-right! Right, of course, but that wasn't a ROYAL vacation!~

>Is there... a difference?


~Yep! Because on royal vacations, all top government officials get a break! All of them! The tradition was more for us than them, you see. That's why everybody clears out of the castle, except the guards of course!~

>Shouldn't they get a day off?

Strange, he thought he had asked about the guard.

From the look on the poor fellows face, he had actually asked for his wife's birthday, and it wasn't coming to him.

~They... theyyyyyyyy.... get a super secret day off! Later! At a different time! Which we can't tell you when because a duh, nobody can know when the guards are all not working, not even us!~


Left ear is gone for sure.

>...Why now? I didn't do this last year.

~EQUINOX!... Sorry, Equinox! You only get the vacation when the... planet is... like, aligned, just right, then on that year you get to go on the royal vacation! Wasn't all set last year! It happens every four years!~

>Huh. Sombra didn't mention that.


He deserved that one.

>Soooo, is this the celebration?

~Y... yes!~

Was that confetti, or just a ripped up newspaper someone threw into the air? The world would never know... assuming they were braindead and assumed confetti came in giant clumps.


~...whelp! All set! Here you go!~

A wad of tickets were placed right in his hooves, slammed in there without a care. He didn't even know how many were inside.

From the looks of things, neither did the guy who gave them.

>Is... aren't I supposed to choose where my vacation is?


There goes the right ear...

~Er, I mean, nope! Not at all! You see, we get to choose, because... we get to tell you if you did a good or bad job depending on where you go! It's all very subtle, but this is our way of thanking you, or if you're doing a bad job sending you somewhere bad... or nowhere, because you're a terrible tyrant who enslaved us all and wishes us to continue walking on chains and-~

~Stay on target!~


~RIGHT! Right! Ahem... point is, we choose! It's a gift! You wouldn't want to turn down a gift, would you?~

The fools. They were all trying the puppy dog faces.

First off, most of them were terrible at that. Second, by far, they had nothing on Two. He was immune to lesser puppy dog faces.

The fools.

>Do I have to take the changelings with me?

~NOPE!... er, nope! I mean, the ones in the castle, sure! They deserve a day off too, I mean, you wouldn't be so cruel to leave everyone who works so hard with you behind, would you? That would be a shame!~

So many shook their heads, so many did that 'brushing the top of the hoof' thing, so many just did a weird half-frown, keeping the rest of the smile there the whole time.

~Yep! Eighteen, that guest trainer, why, even Spitfire all deserve a break, right?~


~But the rest of the changelings get to hang out with us while we celebrate! Why, this can even be a bonding thing! Yep! We get to know them better while they're not getting kicked out and we're celebrating, yayyyyy!~


~Wooo! What he said!~


~...Yes, celebrate, because... we have fun while you guys aren't here! It's like the parents are out of the house, eh?~

From the way everyone chuckled awkwardly, one would swear they were all talking about all the sex they so totally have.

With supermodels.

On jetski's.

On the moon.

~Which is why you're totally invited too, misses Queen! This is for all the royals, and Crystal Pony or not, you're one of them! Yep! Totally! I mean, you're the most important one to have to go-BECAUSE GUEST YES AND... and that would be rude of us not to include you, then it looks like we don't want you around or like you and we certainly don't want to give that impression!



~You absolutely have to go! It would be rude otherwise!~

~SO rude!~

To her credit, Chrysalis did little more than drop her lower jaw and tilt her head.

He had expected lasers.


~Yep! So... you ready to go? All of you? Two is going to have so much fun!~

They were all waiting, all of them, waiting on bated breath, leaning in, hoping that he'd just say yes and be done.

They were all so... hopeful.

>So, let me get this straight, there's a tradition where, every four years, you send everyone in the castle sans guards off on a trip somewhere, to a place of your choosing, and it just so happened that the day of this event happened... now. Right after that whole... mess. And this has just never come up before now.

~...yes. That is all one hundred percent true.~

Was it pity? Was it fear? Was it even, dare he think it, annoyance?

He felt something right there, and he had no idea what it was.

~...WELL! Have fun on your trip, Highness!~


They all moved.

A mass of synchronized, perfectly moving bodies who somehow, someway, were stumbling all over themselves, wobbling and shaking while backing up, never once breaking eye contact with him.

And smiling.

All the while, smiling.

Until they all turned a corner, and were gone.



'...What the fuck was that!?'

That just plain did not do it justice.

>I have either been given a gift on what may very well be the weirdest holiday ever... or I have just been deposed in the most polite way ever.

"I... I don't know what to think now. Should we... do something?"


That was all he had.


It was all any of them had.


This was going to be hard to explain.
No no no. You misunderstand. My current planned execution needs them to not be at the beach quite yet on day 1.

Except for shiny who'll need to make a detour regardless. Rest of the CE crew doesn't really matter.

Though after that last 6 parter it might make things a bit more complicated.
Oh, Crystal Canada, never change.

You guys are adorable.
...Way to be subtle, guys.
>Or will they be in the canterlot library?

Canterlot library is in the castle, it's been said that a lot. That was a concern of Chitty's back in the day as to why just picking up the thing and running off isn't an option.

She can't go back.
You sure? Coulda sworn it wasn't IN the castle. Actually always pictured it as nowhere near the castle.
It's inside inside.

That's why Chitania was in the castle halls when she got blarsted by the mega-super-combo shot by the guards/lings/bots, and why she was carrying books.
Hm. Well ok. Minor issue really.
...So, everyone is doomed.

That is ALL she cares about.
Well...she's not like, banned for life or anything.
She might be if the investigation goes wrong.
Yeah, his nephews and nieces will probably hate him. His KIDS if he has any will hate him.

No good ends for worst ling.


>Really? You're going to make me drag you the whole way?


>Oh for the love of... I've dealt with children less dramatic than you! CHILDREN! When I sub in for Cheerilee they're better behaved!

"That's illegal."

>Oh sure now you talk, and it's to chastise me on the legalities of my fucking fiance's profession!

"Just saying."

>Well, I'm saying you're being a moron! Huh!? How's that, you like being called a moron!?


>Well, that's what you are!


>Save the apologies and get up!


>Why!? For the love of the hivemind, why!?

"I am waiting for it to hurt me again."

>Oh you prissy little... you overdramatic... that's the stupidest thing I ever heard! I don't know if you've noticed, I've only got one eye! But you don't see me crying about it, do you!? No! Because I, unlike you, know that the universe as a whole has better things to do with it's time than deal with one, tiny, insignificant, whiny little-









>...They... all of them, how... how did none of them miss...


>...Okay, when we get back, I'm having Cheerliee give you a once over.

"It won't help."

>It'll tell me if I need to skip your Hearth Warming card and have my kids avoid you.


Aw come on, 77, Niney's great around kids...granted they're the dead kind but still, you're probably going to have kids like what's her face from The Ring anyway.
Ha, fantastic. But who's the manly mareling?
Applejack 69
He's good with regular kids too. Just ask 56.

You mean 63, right?
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that used to be 29's designation
Seems a bit extreme...
It would just be changeling 69
Unless that particular changeling Really Really Really respected AJ. Like 2 & 56 & I think a couple others.

...which in no way would seem to fit the characterization being built here...but y'know...just saying.
Wait, does this mean that Applejack 32 is even MORE salty at the other 32?
Maybe he kept the AJ monkier out of spite.


"Um... maybe you should calm down?"


"We'll be leaving as soon as the others get here."


"I know you're excited, but it's not going to go any faster-"


"Pinkie, then need to pack-"




"...Stop, please! They will be here when they get here, acting like this is not helping! Now, sit down, and wait, please, or else... I'll make you sit down!!"



>I don't have to go anymore.



"...I regret so many things..."

>Join the club.
>You mean 63, right?

...that actually does fit...
Holy shit, Jetset just going "Bullshit" is so weirdly funny.

I don't know why, but that was my favorite line from him. Period.
Okay so who is that changeling, definitively? 69, 63, 32, who is is?
She hasn't been named yet, obviously.

I vote for 63, since 69 doesn't fit, and we've seen not-32 32 before, and he was a dude.(OR WAS HE!?)
Oh hey, this is finally a mare who won't set him off!

Everything is coming up Jet!

>Hrm.. I do not like that gathering.

"Said the special forces of the dictator who is thinking about punching innocent ponies."

>She is not a dictator.

"I like how that's what you take issue with."

>Not punching innocent ponies is a given, as that would make the prince and princess quite upset with me. I did not feel the need to clarify.

"She said, trying to act cool."

>I do not act cool.

"You're standing on the edge of the castle and looking down on them glaring."

>It's a good vantage point

"Uh huh. And totally not what you saw on the cover of the OnO manual."




"OW FUCK!... You said you don't hit ponies!"

>I don't hit innocent ones. You have committed a grievous crime.

"And what is that?"

>...Never mess with OnO.





[...Crumbles? Why did the Aircaptain just tackle Forty Two into a wall?]

{Because it's that day.}

[That.. day? What day?]

{The day you shut up and enjoy the fight! GO FORTY TWO!}

...That seems like an overreaction....
she messed with OnO
the punch wasn't hard enough
Yes, it was.

Clearly he should not have been cheering until the helmet came off, rrroowww.
He's still learning, anon, he'll have the etiquette down by the time Sweet Note and 32 have their cage match
I love that SN goes all catty on all the 'outsider' characters.

She was gonna scratch Sunset's eyes out too.
I love that to my knowledge the one character to go catty right back is the dude changeling.
Does that mean the only way to snap 29 out of his funk is to have SN catfight him?
>Implying anyone can follow the rule to hoebag fights

Dude, it's like calvinball, the only etiquette is 'no going for little kids, unless they were looking at you wrong.'
Well DUH there's no etiquette to the fight, but there's always etiquette to viewing it.
Of course.

Most Importantly, you are only allowed to cry for three minutes when you realize either of those hobags could kick your ass. No longer than 3!

It just wouldn't be proper otherwise.
You guys realize if we keep talking about this, Gambling will start channeling the spirit of Don King, right?
> implying that's not what we actually want...
Why anon, if only you had just said...



We accept bits and internets.
One internet on ling! He's got the experience and the raw strength on his side! And flight! And lasers! ....shape shifting, love draining, greenspit....
Don't underestimate a street tough. 1 on sweet note
Lazers beat eyeliner. Money on the ling
>implying Sweet Note would lose to 32
!0 Internets on the Prostimare
Was it mares in general, or the way they treated him? Seemed like he could handle the female variety, just not when they teased him ala Chrysalis.
Harshwinny has beat most of his mare issues out of him, but he still has problems when a mare teases him. However he seems to fumble around the likes of the homeless medic who fixed him up without provocation. So not JUST teasing but ones who are not being outright bitches to him set him off.
>Imblying rape-bug cannot rape a prostitute
>his training with Harshwhinny
Damn. What the fuck did she do to him...? I wouldn't mind some backstory on that.

And wasn't there a story where it showed she had a hand in training Shiny, at least a little? What, did he drop out of that or something?
>Implying a prostitute isn't a master of anti-rape techniques.

She's been preparing for this battle her whole life, and she never knew it...
Yes, he did. Jet even calls him 'Dropout'. And we have had minor backstory with Jet but nothing overly in depth.




"...That's fucking stupid."

>But they seemed so sincere...

"I... I just... WHAT?!"



>Totally what I was thinking.


>So... should we not go? Should we just confront them, make them actually talk about it?



"No. If... if they want us to take some time off so they can... reassess, then I suppose... maybe... you know, we should do it."

>...they're not kicking you out.

"I know."

>This probably is something silly.

"I know."

>We'll be fine-

"I know!"


"I know."



>...This is pretty dumb.

Fifteen bits on them ending up fucking and and Chitty spraying them with water like misbehaving dogs.


Outside the castle was a rather comical, if tiring, sight.

Comical to any who didn’t have to deal with it, and tiring for the stallion known as Fancy Pants, who sat behind a table positioned before a grand line of eager ponies.

They were all here to offer their aid in conducting his investigation.

Although Fancy’s eyebrow couldn’t help but give a twitch of annoyance when he spotted a few Gryphons, Diamond Dogs, and even a Yak or two in the extensive line, each trying to look inconspicuous, and failing horribly.

He sighed, re-stacking his papers and focused back in on his current pair of interviewee’s, a Mr and Mrs Hackaway.

>Well, as I’m sure you’ve no doubt heard, what with it being the hottest bit of news since sliced bread, there has been a rather abrupt… upheaval of royal officials until such a time as I can ascertain their part in an ongoing general consensus. Long story short, my dear, I’m in need of some bodies to assist in combing this castle. I need the unbiased help of ponies who only want the truth and nothing but. Can I count on you and your husband for compliance?

“Oh, but of course, Mr. Knickers!”

>…that’s Pants, actua-

“You see, I’ve always been very interested in the going-on’s of Canterlot Castle, whether they had skeletons in the closet they were keeping from the public! And it’s been dreadful, just absolutely crushing to know they might have been influenced by unsavory third parties! We are fully committed towards thumbing through every file, shining a light on every dark crevice we can to uncover any hidden delicacies--I mean, secrets! Isn’t that right, dear?”


“Dear agrees.”

>Well, I appreciate your support. I suspect this investigation won’t last longer than two or three days, given innocence is proven, of course.


“Oh, we have nothing but oodles of time on our hooves, Mr. Spats-”

>Pants, Mrs. Hackaw-

“-so even if this drags out into a full blown week, we will be here. As Dear will tell you, I absolutely looooove cutting away the pretentious surface layer to get to the meat of the problem. Don’t I, dear?”

‘Loves it more than she should.’

In the same moment Fancy Pants looked up from his paper, Mrs. Hackaway stepped on her husbands’ hoof underneath the table.

>What was that, Mr. Hackaway?

‘I said this table is made of some fine wood.’

>Hm? Oh, yes, I suppose it is, excellently seasoned mahogany. …And finished, here are your documents of visitation stating your clearance for the Canterlot Castle investigation. Just turn these in at the magistrate’s office to receive your badges and meet me back here.

“Oh thank you, thank you, Mr. Pantaloon!”

>It’s… you know what, close enough.

“We’ll get these turned in posthaste so we can begin the first incision towards cleaning up our beloved castle!”

>I appreciate your eagerness. Next!

As the Hackaways proceeded to leave, Fancy Pants could have sworn he sworn he saw Mr. Hackaways pupils flicker from a stoic black to something sickly green.

But the moment was gone before he could get a second look and he chalked it up to the tiring day.

Once they were a good distance away, the most insane smile overtook Mrs. Hackaway's face, making it appear almost clown-like.

“Well, I’d say that was a success, wouldn’t you? Dear?”

‘I’d say you look downright fantastic in that dress. Make sure you keep the ponytail… and those stockings.’

“Oh shut up, perv....”


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>Screwloose plot

Oh boyyyy

You guys ready for overly expository long streams of /d/ tier dialogue that's supposedly meant to be important to the story?

Or how about latent footfag fetishery and horrifically out of place femdom undertones every second line?

Or how about character actions that are borderline mary sue level and crap that works because lolol she's a cuhraaaazy scientist who can beat up anypony and outsmart anypony too if they try and do something she doesn't want to happen?

Cos I sure aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam
depends on the writer, with any luck this shit won't happen
Feel better with that off your chest, anon? Cool.

Now, let's see how this plays out.

>Alright, ya'll! Single file!

One by one, they walked back into the stadium, each one no doubt going home to roaring applause... or at least demands of trinkets and souvenirs. One of the two.

It was a little sad to see them go, she had to admit. For as wild as they had been while they had been in her care, it had been.... fun. She had enjoyed it, as little as it had been. Sure, herding dogs would have been easier, but nothing good came easy, at least not without leaving something important behind.

She knew that now.

Still, they didn't seem to mind returning, if anything they were happy to merge back into the fold.

Which made it all the stranger when a single changeling hung back, and came up to her.



For as little as he had spoken, this one had made quite the lasting impression on her. Mostly due to the unmistakable indicator he would always carry around with him.

"Um... so is this, like... all over?"

An indicator that shook just a bit with those words.

>Fer' now, looks like it...

That seemed to droop, when he himself drooped.

>Hey, come on now, it ain't all so bad.

"It's just... there's no room here, where am I supposed to even plant it when it starts growing too big? The fields are all taken and only allowed for trees that... you know, matter. I don't even know what kind it's going to be..."

He lowered, and lowered.

Until a hoof stopped him, and pulled him back up.

>Well, when that time comes... ya' gotta make yer' own spot. Can't just be waitin' to grow in someone elses orchard.

"But... what if there's no room?"

>Well then...

Up, and up, until he, and the little plant too, had risen once again.

>Ya' better find yer'self some room, or that little feller ain't gonna be able to get as big as they should. If there ain't no room here... find some, and make it there. It's a big world out there, plenty of room for everyone.

"But I don't want to do it all by myself."

>Nobody does. But sometimes...


A single, gently hoof cussed under the single, solitary, barely there leaf on the little sprout.

>Sometimes ya' gotta grow all alone, where yer' roots can spread out, and not get choked from a bunch of others crammed together. Sure, lots of plants thrive in bushels, wouldn't dream of bein' all alone, but some trees... they gotta stand on their own, and reach as high as they can go. Some trees need to be out on their own, or they just get stunted and never know if they can grow any bigger.

"I... I don't even know what kind of plant it is."

>Well then...

That same hoof reached up, to underneath his chin, and tilted it upwards just as she had the leaf before.

>Guess you'll have to see, won't you? When you know what kind of plant it is... ya' know what you've got to do.

Playfully, she shoved him, pushing him along towards the others headed into the stadium.

>Go on, git, ya' got a whole mess of lings waitin' to see you.

"Oh... okay. Thanks, Princess."

>And buddy?


>...It ain't done yet, not by a long shot. Not unless you want it to be.

He paused, just for a second, just long enough to stop, to look down to his little plant, to grip it tighter to his chest, and then continue on. Barely there, barely noticeable, but she had seen it.

It wasn't over yet.

>There's room fer' everyone ta' grow, little sprout... and if there's one thing we farmers know how ta' do, it's help things grow...

He couldn't see it, of course, but a part of her hoped that somehow, he knew.

>You'll find that out soon enough.
Goddamn it, I really want to see AJ teach that ling how to be a farmer.

I know it doesn't make any fucking sense for a changeling to be a farmer, I don't care, MAKE THAT LING A FARMER.

Let AJ do farm stuff damn it!
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but we are now hiring competent dreamwalkers! Now for our main guests...THE PINK PONY CLUB!!!
>And that's why I need your help. Any questions?

'...That was a really detailed .'

"I liked it when you used the puppets. Great special effects."

>Thank you!

'So you want us around for protection. Is this going to be a P-team activity now?'

>Yeah I guess it is. We can make it one anyway.

"Oh does this mean we're going to be integrated into the show like co-hosts? Do I get to stay the pretty one?"

'I'd like a turn to be the pretty one. It gets straining being the grumpy one.'

>But you're sooooo good at it. As good as I am the crazy one!

'How was being AJ's straight mare?'

>...You know maybe we should let her be something other than the grumpy one some times.

"Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your co-host Princess Cadence...I think I like the sound of that."

>Ehhh, that's going to take up space if we do that.

"Why don't we just do Cadence then? It's shorter than Pinkie Pie."

>Ehhhhh errrrgh...we'll talk about it.

'So what? Are we going to be coming here every night twiddling our hooves while you do your show?'

>But I'm going to have guests here. Having you two talk too is going to eat up characters that we don't have in the budget.

"What do you even mean by characters? Do you sacrifice ponies up or something?"

'If it's a money problem, we can help you know. I have a big allowance with my daddy doing repairs for every disaster and Princess Cadence is a princess.'

"Yeah I can probably squeeze some private funds if I ask around or get some pull somewhere. Budget doesn't sound like a big deal."

>You know what it doesn't sound like? It doesn't sound like we have enough time to talk, sooo thanks for joining us and have a good day everypony!

"'...share the spotlight.'"
Daaaaaaw... damn it that's cute.



Catching him was proving to be far harder than it had any right to be.

Zip this way, zap that way, keeping up was getting harder and harder to do. For one so small, for one so unskilled, what the little one made up for in lack of prowess and talent was unpredictability, and a small size that made it impossible to keep track.

Every time hooves nearly closed around that prey, he would curl up or twist unnaturally, as only a child could, and escape their grasp. An embarrassment, nothing less.


Made all the worse by their 'spectators'.

[I expected better of Chrysalis's agents, though I suppose if you're low ranking enough to be sent after a child, you probably aren't at the top of the class... less so if even that is clearly too much for you.]

Perhaps this would be over, if she were not so distracted by the pain of her own teeth clenching together so hard they threatened to snap.

>Get back here you little brat!

"Didn't you hear me!? I'm not going anywhere with YOU!"

He punched.

He actually punched her.

Held steady, cocked back, put his all into it, and punched her.

...Thank goodness.



The blow had barely even been felt, certainly not been a detriment. She'd felt worse from a particularly bad sneeze. That was nothing. But what it offered her was at last a still, steady changeling ready and waiting to be grabbed hold of.

And grab she did.

>Fucking little...

"Hey! Not-mom hates it when you say that stuff around me!"

>I don't give a shit!

"I'm warning you!"

>And here's how I'm warning you, you scrubbed flake little bastard! If you fucking act like this the whole way there, I'm going to shove my hoof right up your-OMF!

Well, that was an unpleasant taste.

'Swearing in front of a child... now that, I find distasteful.'

[Most inappropriate.]


Right in her eye, and he was freed again.


"Round two!"

Definitely one of those missions.
My sides cannot possibly be contained in this moment.


"You know, I got off the train specifically to avoid AJ being like this. That's why I left, specifically."

'...you made a bad choice-'

>Come oonnnnnnnnn!

"I can see that."

'...Do you even know where we're going?'


>Come ooooonnnnnnn!

'Shouldn't we ask?'

"Meh, I don't care, so long as it isn't Partyland."

'...That was pretty fun up till um... me, actually.'

"Bad memories."

'Oh... sorry.'




"They'll get here when they get here!"


"Everyone else!"

>Who cares about them! The machine won't drop my cookieeeesss!





>YAY!... What were we talking about?

"...I feel bad now."
Wow, Dash. You flew all the way back to canterlot because you didn't want to put up with AJ. Loyalty my ass.
When Cadence did the opening I just imagined it as her doing the "HI ANON!" thing in front of the camera.
She actually got off when they met up at Canterlot, we can see thanks to the chronology of the stories(She was on the train with AJ at first, but then when Sweet Note got on she was with the Main 5 when they decided to have a trip.) she didn't fly anywhere.

Disloyal AND lazy!
... fuck you... now I can't unseen it

"...this is stupid."

>I'm getting a lot of that.

"But we should do it anyway."


"Yes. It would be a good test of trust on their end, to know that we are not distrustful of them, and allow them to do what they wish. There is no better way to be rid of thoughts of tyranny than to give freedom."

>Huh... makes sense.

"...I'm locking my room, though."

>You don't have anything in there.

"Principal of the matter."

>O... kay?

"This is fine."

>...you just want out of the city, don't you?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that I have been stressed due to mob activity."

>Your nose is bleeding.

"How about that."
At first I thought Faustmom did that. I'm not the only one, right?
Dude you are so not, I just wasn't about to ask, haha. That was the first thing that came to mind.
I thought one of them just punched her, then I read it again and realized there was in fact a bar of soap involved, and then my sides went missing.

>What're you tryin' ta' grow anyway?

"I want to grow a love tree!"

>...don't wreck it yet, AJ...

"It's gonna be awesome!"

>...let him dream for a little longer...
I thought one of them shut her up by showing hoof in her mouth, but soap works just fine as well.
>inb4 it actually works
>all of 7's work goes to waste because now we have a fucking TREE that can do it
...oh shit
Aw fuck.
He never wins, does he?
No headpats, forever.
They are the Key of Honesty. But now they are also future Changeling love stock, as well as indicators of AJ fixing the various cites of Equestria through tree growth.
It sounds bad when his endgame is just getting a headpat from Chrysalis.
>It sounds bad when his endgame is just getting a headpat from Chrysalis.

He sets the bar low.

...he never quite reaches it.

>Okay, sensory overlord. And I have one less sense so that's even more of a pain.

Chatter chatter chatter

'Sorry mum, told ya we were getting into residential. It's a mite bit crowded here.'

"This is quite an impressive city, all these houses built into the cave walls, and is that some form of tower built into a stalagmite?"

'Yup, it's our best work if I do say so myself.'

>...Wait...how long have we been down here!?

"Two hours, why do you ask?"


"I said it's been two hours."

>How the hell do tiny moles make a city in two hours!?

'We're very hard workers, mum. Hey there's our headquarters, finally.'


"...I don't think you want me describing this."

>Why not?

"...you know, in my time back on this planet I haven't had much time to appreciate your artists but long ago in the time of ancients the Goats had an artist and his work very much resembles the giant stalactite looming down from the ceiling."

>...what was he called?

"H.R Grogar."

>Hoooo boy.

"It's lit up very well, little pinpoints of white all over it and-no...no those are eyes, my mistake."

>...f-for real?

'Yeah, dunno how Birdie installed all of them but she kinda uses them to keep an eye on things down here. She says it's good to keep-'

>A bird's eye view?

'How'd ya guess mum?'

>The tumor I'm slowly growing the longer I'm here is giving my psychic powers. How in the hell are we going to get in there? It's probably well defended-

Trot trot trot

>-guards out the ass-

Trot trot trot

>-and I doubt those eyes are JUST for surveillance. There must be weakness we can exploit to get inside it, some kind of-OOF! WHAT HIT ME!?

"The railing of the elevator platform."

'It's the guest entrance, mum.'

Well, that's not terrifying...
Better than Jet, he doesn't even have a bar and still manage not to reach it. He just wants to look confident at this point here
...Don't be a fucking secret agent in /pa/.

Just don't.
You know, 88, if you hadn't been throwing out all those blind jokes to fuck with 77&32, maybe everything you encounter wouldn't be some kind of pun. But as it stands, you deserve the tumor and see Twilight on the way out of Mushroom Punland to have her punch it out.
*Don't be a good guy agent.
Snake Eyes will never pay for his transgressions.
This is her hell.

Paying for all of the puns.

Hey now, you trying to say Seven and Jetset aren't 'good'?

The only thing Seven's done is... was he the one who slapped 29 something awful around that one time? ...Well, even if so, that's pretty it on his bad-o-meter.

And really, Jetset's only bad trait is his eagerness to silence an adversary, which he's trying to cut back on. When was the last time he even did that?
No, I am saying the opposite. The good guy agents suck and get punished by the universe while the bad guy agents get away with just about everything and run off with shit tons of money.

Take seven's replacement for example. Their mission is get 56 to the Empire. They are going to get beat up by 56 with assists from Jet and Harshwinny.

in fact, with how we just let 56 nope shit, he may just get to the night guard common room while the ban is in place. Because he is too indestructible to face consequence so no one is really able to stop him if he doesn't want to do something.
>When was the last time he even did that?

The last time he fought 7. He went for the eye with a knife.
...hold up, when was this? Where was I? Why don't I remember this? Archive-help?
So 45 threads ago/eight months ago?
It was the fight that ended with 7 being a smear on the ground and Chrysalis with a broken shoulder.

>He choked again, gagging painfully as his world started to spin. Smoothly, Jetset pulled another blade from his coat.
>“I should imagine... It's because you're not worth the effort.”
>He struck down, a blade poised right to Seven's left eye. He would not deal with this ever again.


Coincidentally, that was also Jetset's last fight.
Wow. So a very, very long time ago. And definitely before his personal pledge to do better. Got'cha.

I kept wondering why some people kept bringing up his tendency to 'kill first, ask later' when it's been so long and he's been virtually succinct. I get the feeling that particular tick to his murder-boner is all but gone now.
She's gonna have to go find 42 after this.

>She knows how to do them RIGHT, damn it!
He has dodge many many bullets...

>Was gonna have him take the 'Constantly burning in changeling fire' trap infusion but the arc ended before I could
>Was gonna have him take a daytrip beneath the mountain but nobody wants bad shit distracting from happy vacation times

The last is understandable of course.
You would think. But his main motivation is still, beat 7. All of his training and attempts to be better for his queen. All because he feels he must beat 7 to prove himself.
>I kept wondering why some people kept bringing up his tendency to 'kill first, ask later' when it's been so long and he's been virtually succinct.

Because it's happened in every fight he's been in. The only reason it's been so long is because he literally has not fought anyone in that timeframe.

Seriously ZERO fights since then, none. We have no reason to think his murder-boner is gone because we haven't seen him in a fight to gauge that, and his resolve to do better is entirely fight-effectiveness based, not being better as a person.

Why would his murder-boner be gone? He hasn't had any revelations as to the preciousness of life or anything. He's still kill-first ask-later as far as we know, he just hasn't been sent on any missions to indicate otherwise.
Actually he had one 'fight' after that. Being oneshotted by Chrysalis at the start on the rescue 12 arc.
I can see that. I can see setting someone as a goal to overcome in order to gauge yourself. That, I can totally see. Fits his character. Doesn't mean he wants to kill him anymore, and I base that on how he blatantly wanted to find Seven awhile back just to 'cheer him up' because he knew he was in a funk. Sounds the complete opposite of wanting to kill him.

>not being better as a person.
Not saying you're wrong but I'd like clarification from that story where he made the pledge, because it seemed kind of vague as to which he was referring to in my memory. And if it was entirely fight-based then when he inevitably gets into his next fight, we'll see what he's learned.

>Why would his murder-boner be gone?
After making that pledge, he seems a lot softer around the edges, what with the hairclips, the more-often-than-not slips in pose and his traditional etiquette, his and Spike's semi-feud for AJ's attention, the little nuances.
>Not saying you're wrong but I'd like clarification from that story where he made the pledge,


Correct, he's being vague, while mentioning "Someone" will help him get stronger, but-


Clarifies it.

>To help thine's enemy is to help one’s self.
Those words floated on the wind as Jetset’s very being began to flicker in and out of view.
>But to leave thine’s enemy to their own devices makes for a much better fight, don't you agree?

Pointing out he was looking for 7 to get better in all ways for fights.
>After making that pledge, he seems a lot softer around the edges, what with the hairclips, the more-often-than-not slips in pose and his traditional etiquette,

...A couple threads after the hairclips he was TORTURING SOMEONE.

Right, then.

Even when he doesn't actually have a 'fight' the dude is brutal.
....Well, don't I feel a bit silly. But I guess it helps in a way.

I wrote that second linked story there. Jet's fight-obsessed, no doubt there, but I certainly didn't mean to take away from however who wrote the first piece meant for it to be taken, whether he meant change for himself or entirely fight-based. I was picturing a friendly brawl myself.

I think I remember that one, kinda....





>...Yes, you can come on this one.



"I've been feeling left out."

>Know the feeling, trust me.




"...well yeah, no shit, right?"


"I'll just hang around Two then?"

>Right and-

"No causing another massive disaster, yeah, I can manage that."



>Still not letting you near the Hyperwars table any time soon.

On the positive side, he's not going to freak out anyone worse than the rest of them...

>So hi, your majesty!


>Aw, you having a bad day too?

"I'm talking to you, so what do you think?"

>Well get ready to turn that frown upside down, because your humble Worst-Ling is here with just the thing to put some pep in your ste-

"Worst Ling? Who the hell decided you were the worst?"

>I don't know, I think it was kind of a group think.


>Yes, I know, in times like these solidarity is what's needed.

"No, now I need to get a very big cake for all of them instead of just one."


"I reward creativity."

>Well then you're about to reward the everliving HELL out of me. Guess what I did?

"Oh did you WIN the catfight against that prostitute that hangs around with Chitty? Because I had a thousand on your losing."

>One, again, hurtful, two, they're still constructing the steel cage.

"Damn, take a dive in the fifth round, will you? I'll give you a leftover slice from the 'creative insult' cake if you do."

>Noted. Now! AT LAST! I am going to tell YOU how I have helped our Hive!

"Eh, save it for later, I gotta go get ready for my vacation."



*Ka-fireflight back*

"Oh hey, where's 88 anyway?"

>Huh, oh about that...

One explanation later!


>Do you want me to start over from the monopony or the piano bit? I admit they're kind of hard to visualize, but I swear they happened. JJ's got my back on this.
So... Jet made two pledges then? He said something similar back when Granny Smith was cutting AJ's hair and he sat out the window, didn't he?
SO CLOSE to her actually liking you too!

Instead you just said you let 88, the changeling she's terrified will get hurt, off with the thing she was pretty sure was gonna wipe them out a bit ago.

Eh, he was damned if he did and skullfucked if he didn't anyway.
The pledge to granny was "I'll defend her with my life next time, instead of running off thinking myself uneeded" and the pledge there was "I must get stronger."
>The pledge to granny
Unintentionally lost my shit.
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Aj princess of oranges

>Your majesty I'm here to show I'm fi...

"Come right in, 77."

'Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.'

>Is...everything ok?

"Just peachy."

'Splendrous even-ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.'

>Is there a reason you're bouncing my brother's head against the floor like a basketball?

"Oh why don't you explain, 32?"


One explanation later.

>Soooo...can I have next?

"You can have next."

'You HEARD the part where she demanded it happen or else she'd break the laws of biology and skullfuck me, yes?'


'Just checking. Resume. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.'

>You have got to be the single biggest moron in the history of time.

'You say that but my mother DID attempt to kill Chitania. Twice.'

>THIS is even more dumb than that!

"I agree, what were you thinking?"

'I was thinking, that this weird dumb face was offering to help her see again in exchange for me not immediately telling him to get away as well as telling him how changelings work-'


'It was just the basics, and it was what I was telling the ponies anyway. Not that they cared, those yuppy ingrates.'

"I am sooooo tempted to kill you."

'Oh go right ahead, it will make you look like even more of an imbecile when she comes back. Then instead of a top shelf infiltrator back, you'll have me all over again except far more competent.'

"...excuse me?"

'Unlike the two of you, I have faith in my sister to do what she set out to do. Or have you forgotten your own story, brother?'


'The mountain didn't kill 88, she fought her way through it with all of us at her side, even when we dwindled, she kept in charge. She died because she gave up hope, and I tell you both now, when I saw her last, when I saw how she moved, heard how she talked, I knew she wasn't going to give up again.'

"Strong words, but you forget, what happens if this Lavan turns against her?"

'Then she'll destroy him, though I doubt it. Frankly my incarceration was miles less than his and to my mind he genuinely wants to repent.'
"How can you be sure?"

'Oh fuck off.'

"...No, YOU fuck off! Explain yourself!"

'Second chances get thrown out like candy on Nightmare Night around here. The guy has literally done nothing to us, he probably wasn't even on the planet when our first Hive crawled out to greet the world. If I'm worth a second chance, he's worth a first one.'

"I am seriously regretting that second chance."

'Well, I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is. You were talking about bets, let's make a wager.'


'If she never returns or dies, I will undergo a fate worse than death. Any fate you can think of, far removed from where anyone can know about it. Inflict on me whatever you see fit, for I will be in too much despair to not believe I deserve it.'

"...and if you are right? She returns at all, even without her sight restored?"

'I will have my sister back, it'll be reward enough.'

"Very well."

'Also a cake.'


'I like strawberry, just saying.'

"77, you are witness to this deal."

>Your majesty I'll carry out the punishment myself if he's wrong.

'...and if I'm right, you make the cake.'


"Very well. Get out of my sight!"


'...so how's 29, hm?'

>You are an absolute lunatic.

'Maybe, but I'm a confident lunatic.'
If that figurine had wings it'd make a good OP picture for next thread.
I suppose i could tape some on
It happened
...That is weirdly adorable.
You know, I almost do legit want that to be the next OP.

>Princess Applejack: Live Action Edition
>Princess Applejack: Uncle Orange Massacre Edition
So while me and cousin Peach were visiting cousin Orange...there was an incident.
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He just fell on the knife i swear!
>Already cleaned the knife.

She's good at this.
>somehow manage to make live-action remakes of the scenes
That'd be pretty cool.

...too good. No need for worry though, eheheh....
>Claymations on the scale of Wallis and Grommit
I'm sure I spelled their names wrong but you get the idea, I suddenly want to do this, no idea where to start, but I want to do this.

>Mmmm… y’all know what would be great right about now?

“The sudden absence of somepony in particular?”

‘If a certain species of dragon were made abruptly extinct?’

>Naw, some pie. Some good ol’ fashioned apple pie.

“Oh, great idea! Wait right here, I’ll go get us s-”

'Allow me.'


“…that son of a-”


‘Apple pie for the princess as requested, heated and cut into eight individual pieces.’


>Well golly, thanks, sugarcube! Now iffin’ Ah’ only had a fork….

"Now how did you goof and forget that, eh, super colt?"




It was never not funny watching Spike burp up items, this time a pristine fork.

“Got you covered, applebutt.”

>And don’t Ah’ love it, thanks, loverboy.


>Jus’ need to hoof it to the kitchen right quick and grab that special bottle of cider the cooks’ve got hidden fer’ me.





The moment Spike latched onto Jetset’s tail mid-flicker, they both vanished, leaving Applejack and her soft smile alone.

>Consarnit those two're cute when they fight like that...
Ooooooh snap, if you could pull something like that off, you'd be my forever hero, that would be awesome.
i might do this tomorrow tonight i am sleepy
luckily theres still a bag of those cutie oranges left and i'm too lazy to rip the wings off
the way claymation works means unfortunately I wouldn't be able to do it solo and there's no one in my area I could convince to help me with it, like, ever.
But I really want to, really, really want to.
...anyone else get the feeling the jokes gonna be on 32 and the cake's gonna suck.


>This is gonna suck.

"Should I keep a running commentary of what I am seeing?"

>I'm kind of scared to say this, but yes.

"We are currently being brought up into the hollowed out stalactite, there are many small doors arrayed on a spiral staircase along the walls..."

'That'd be our rooms, oh hey Sandy! Don't mind us, just taking some guests to see the boss!'

"The eyeballs are on the inside as well...being 66% eyeball, this does not please me."

-Ahhh, there you are, Clay.-

"Oh, now a voice is coming out of these brass pipes also spiraling around."

-Where've you been? I've been waiting for your status update on tunnel 47.-

'Sorry, boss, found these two in the tunnel, they're looking for runaway eyeballs and I figured if someome knew where those would be, it's you.'

-Oh really? Well let me get a good...look...at them...-

"The eyes just narrowed. This can only mean good things, yes?"

-Clay, honey, babykins...you made a very big mistake bringing these two here.-

'Uh, why?'

-Because it means I gotta pull this lever next to me.-

'...is it the lever that gives me a cookie?'

-Nooooo...it's the one that triggers the trap door on the platform.-


Clunk! FWOOMP!




"Hi, I'm Lavan."

-Hi, I'm Birdie.-

"I'll be right back."

-Please don't be.-



'Does this mean I'm fired!? I can't be fired! I trained my whole life for this job! Ever since I was a young pup weeks ago!'


"Hi! I'm back!"


"How? I have no hands to catch you with! And I'd burn you if I did."



"Oh right, the wings."

'I thought they were for show, honest.'

>Are we still in the horrible eyelactite?


'What now, mum?'

>Now? I figure out why your boss tries to just kill us. ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!

They always forget the wings....
This... is probably going to be sad. Not that That's a bad thing, just said it's going to happen probably.
The joke is almost always on 32, so somehow 77 is going to channel Cadence and bake a monstrosity.
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and the guests come out to play! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!


>Have you ever had any trouble living with your aunt and uncle Orange?

"Some times. In fact this one time, when cousin Peach came by to visit, she was checking out their assortment of kitchen knives. You wouldn't believe how many knives they had. Anyway, at some point cousin Peach decided to test how sharp a cosmic knife is by slicing some Peaches. Turns out it's really sharp. It cut right through the cutting board. In a panic she managed to knock the knife set and sending a few knives flying into both Uncle Orange and me when we walked in. In fact Ah' still have the scar between my ear see? Uncle Orange had to be sent to the hospital so they could stitch him up."

>...did your cousin Peach get cut?

"That's actually the funny part. She came out unscathed that time. Uncle Orange took most of the injury. Though she did get run over by an ambulance when we came to pick Uncle Orange back up. Which brings me to another story where there was a misunderstanding at the hospital where she ended up pretending to be a doctor and-"

>Okay, that's nice, but that's all the time we have! Thanks for joining us and have a good night!

"Wait in this one she-"
AJ wakes up.
"Delivered a baby...Aw. It was a good one too."
You mean chrysalis.
No, I meant Cadence. Chrysalis can bake but burns anything else, Cadence creates eldritch horrors when she adds salt to a dish.
He means, Chrysalis is the one who's going to be baking the cake
Oh, so she going to be salty about worst ling being right, got it.
Huff, that might not be so bad, she can actually bake a rather well. I mean, she's not spectacular, but she can do OK.


>I mean, this could mean that-


>This is actually more serious than you're understanding-





"Has she been doing this the whole time? Just rocking back and forth rapidly, holding her hoof?"

'The whole time.'


"Seems kind of overblown, I only took an hour. She's making this seem like we took forever. And she didn't even stop when I did arrive!"


[Guess she's still waiting for Rarity and Spike to arrive?]

"Guess so. But still, the teeth grinding and red face is a bit much."


'This is annoying.'

"Seriously, there's no need to-"




"...What the heck did you just pull out of your hoof?"

>I had a MASSIVE splinter in there! Oh, WOW that hurt! And it just wouldn't come out!... you could've helped, by the way! Way to just stand there when I'm rolling in pain!

"...Well, now I feel bad."

'Welcome to the club.'

This had gotten out of hoof.

"Not gettin' me, dude-mare!"

>I'm just a mare!

"I'll believe it when I see it!"

At some point, this had just plain stopped making sense.

>...what does that even mean!?

"It means LASERBEAMS!"

For instance, when he did indeed shoot a beam of lasers right into her face, and all she felt were the tickle of the wind when it was gone.

"I need to work on those-WAH!"


'His dodging skills are impressive.'

[Quite durable too.]

'Sadly, his offensive capabilities are downright laughable.'

[His chances at victory against a rookie are downright remote with that, if someone grapples him it's all over.]

'Perhaps he should look into another line of work.'


Dodged again, hooves closing over air as he hopped right over them and fluttered away on tiny little wings.

"Cause Cuz said I can't quit with this one, and I'm not quitting on this one! I already quit like... all of them before that! He's gonna start regretting picking me up at this rate!"


The wall, her old friend, came to meet her again as he flew away.

It was a familiar pain.

"So I can't give up, and I can't go back to not-mom yet! Cause I gotta get inside that castle, and I gotta find the common room, and then? I'm gonna be a nightguard, baby! And there's nothing no dude mare could ever do that could stop me- Huh."


[I was starting to think changelings couldn't do that.]

"...This is cheating!"

If there was ever a time she should not be holding him in telekinesis, it was now.

For her mission was to bring him back to the hive in one piece, and she no longer trusted her abilities to do just that.


WHAM! Right into the ground.


WHAM, the little ling went down.



>...Are you done?!


And he never gave a care.

"Now put me down and fight like a mare! Or a dude! You look like you could do either one!"





"Nope! Try again, ladydude!"

The rage.

It was good.

>...I'm going to drain you dry.

The panic on his face.

It was good.


The feeling she felt when he drew nearer, and neared, pulled by her magic, ready to have all of his love sapped out of him.

It was good.

'Should we intervene? I feel like I should be intervening here.'

[That would be most unprofessional.]

'And why is that?'


Even the way he tore up the ground as he dug himself in, leaving trenches several inches deep as he tried in vain to stop the pull.

It was good.

"If you want me to go, you better be ready to make me dead! Cause I got a place to be!"

He pulled, with everything he had he pulled the other way, muscles and wings flared. All of it, a failure.

It was good.

"And I'm! Not! Giving! Up-WHOA!"

The pain.

It was not good.

>...Excuse me, misses mare? Might I trouble you for a second?

[Well, since you're being polite.]

>It's just an inquiry. Was I just kicked into a wall?

[You were.]

>Ah, I see. Thank you for your time.

~Hrmph, she almost had you, kid.~

There was a mare holding the changeling she had been sent to retrieve.

It was not good.

~So, what's this dude's problem?~

"Dude mare wants to take me to the Empire, Misses Nightgaurd Captain!"

~Wait, what? What mare now?~

"Dude's a mare!"


The rage.

...It was good.
...Well, that escalated quickly.

"Hello all! Are you all ready to-"




[It's probably nothing.]


{Trust us, it's... probably not what it sounds like.}

~Her popcorn probably just finished.~

'Are you sure? It sounds like-'

[Probably just finished a brain puzzle.]

{Or a bird off in the distance found it's nest.}

~Or maybe even a colt found it's mother.~

[Something like that.]

"...Pinkie? What finally happened?"

>What do you mean? You slowpokes finally got here! I've been sitting around doing nothing forever! GEEZE you guys take a long time! I mean, Gotta go already! COME ON! It's like, GNNNGNG and all that!



[Go low, I'll go high.]

~Fuck no, dibs on the face!~


"...I feel like we've missed something."

'Welcome to my life.'



-Oh right, I forgot about the wings.-

>Yeah, me too, weird right?


"Oh dear, Uhm, so every inch of the pathways up the wall are now occupied by moles."


"They're much larger than Clay. Like, much much larger."

'Yeah, I was always the runt of the litter.'

"And they are hefting very large rocks-"


"And throwing them!"



Bzzzzz! CRASH!


Bzzzzz! CRASH!



>Oh damn it, right! Eat this! EEEEKEEEKEKEEEKEKEKEKEEKEEE!!!!


"Aha, the moles are falling back, holding their ears!"

>You ok back there, Clay?





>Well if you didn't have your goon squad come after me, I wouldn't have done that, now would I?

-Whatever, it's not like you'll get up here anyway, once the elevator finishes coming up, my inner sanctum will be- -



>Forgot about the trap door?

-Forgot about the trap door.-

>Huh...y'know, now that I'm hearing you in person and not through a sound system, you sound familiar.

-Oh do I now?-

>Lavan? Wanna describe for me?

"Oh it's a pony."

>Frankly that surprises me more than anything.

"A mare, kind of yellowish. Got nice quite a mane."

'Er, buryin' the lead here, sir.'

"Oh, and she's wearing a mining helmet."

'Not what I meant! Duck, mum!'




-Lady nothing, my name's Canary Gem. And you're the jackass who STOLE MY LIFE!-



"Oh, a shocking revelation, this pleases me."
Oh thank god.

Lets just go to the beach already!
But 77 is the one who said fine.

>Not that I don't appreciate the... enthusiasm, but I have an investigation to get to, is this going to take long?

"They insisted."

>Yes, I get that, and I realize it would be quite rude to turn them down, despite their... ahem, incidents, but I do have a great many interviews to get through, I'm going to need all the help I can get to wade through the frankly abhorrent sea of papers needed for this.

[But that my friend is why you've been called!]

{Because you see it's all been solved!}

>...Are they singing?

"They do that."

[Now listen here, we won't waste your time!]

{Tell them brother about this invention so fine!}

[Indeed I will, brace yourself for the reveal!]

{It'll be so shocking you won't believe it's real!}

>It's rather catchy.

"That it is."

>Do I have to listen to the whole thing?

"They worked really hard on this."

>Oh, fine.

[Now step on back, and we'll show you how to find what is true!]


Proudly, the two behind the sparkling clean glass pulled off their bedsheet from whatever it was that it had been hiding, revealing a massive machine easily bigger than the both of them combined.

Arms akimbo everywhere, hisses of steam pouring out of every juncture, even a whistle or two that seemed to do nothing at all, all connected to what seemed to be little more than a box and conveyor belt.

[Now listen here, it's as simple as can be!]

{Saving time and money for you and me!}

[All that needs done, and trust us this is true!]

{Is to place the paper right here and send it on through!}

They showed the pair a paper, with the word 'changeling' scrawled on the top, passed back and forth with pride before it was placed on the belt, and soon enough carried into the box. Soon, it went wild, both of their magics straining as the arms went in and strange humming filled the air.


[Our machine will check it through and through!]

{Looking for key phrases of any color or hue!}

[If in its looking eye it comes across the word or phrase...]

The thing let out a massive BZZZT! and soon the paper was shot out into the 'suspicious box.

{Then that infiltration has reached the end of it's days!}

[Any word you can think, any collection imagined in your head!]

{Our great machine right here will find it so you may make it dead!}

[Hours of work saved, leaving plenty of time to spare!]

{And any bogus law will regret the infiltration it did dare!}

[You can find any of these notes in a jiffy, and then sleuth so fine!]

{All of this is possible with the Mega Paper Scanner Inspector Looker Number Nine!}

Their musicless song came to an end, and they both struck a pose.

{[What do you think!?}]

>...How am I supposed to get it out of the cell?

They looked to the massive machine.
Then to the door.
Then to the machine again.
Then the door.
They stretched out both hooves to the door.
Then connected it to the machine, which was far larger.
Then they looked to the door.
Then the machine, once more.

>relocate prisoners
>bring papers to the machine
>moving the paperwork
>the SOMEWHAT ALIVE paperwork
Nah, that paperwork is already done, it doesn't move anymore.
That's what you get for trying.
Weh-hell shit... I... Just wow. Didn't think she herself would intervene. And so dramatically at that.
Hey, something dramatic she did worked!
...see, now its gonna backfire. Thanks anon, thanks a lot.
To be fair, it was probably always gonna backfire.

>Still stiff, is he?



"You were thinking it-WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIM!?"

'Uh, actually, he kind of got... run over.'

>By what!?

'Ponies, mostly.'


'Also a train.'


'I dropped him, okay!? He was all limp and hard to maneuver, and he just flopped around wildly and before I knew it BLAM! Everywhere!'



"Too obvious."

>Are you alright, brother?

~I'm fine.~

'Wow, okay, wow, nothing about that was fine. Just in general.'

~Just fine.~

>You were run over by a train, and ponies.

~It wasn't so bad.~

"...Pommel, there's only one way to make up for this mistake-"

'I'm not sleeping with him.'

"Fine, then go get Daw, she'll have to step up, LAZY."

'Thirty Two stop.'


'Oh shit wha-AW CRAP!'


"REALLY!? You dropped him in the fucking fountain!?"

'He flops I said!'

>Dropping the ball, Pommel! Dropping the ball!

~..thibsb ishbsb fbfbine...~


[And uhh... is he okay]

'Oh, Prince! He's... recovering... I may have dropped him into the fountain, though, he's kinda limp...'

[....Enh, no biggy]

"He's not normally this dismissive, is he?"

[...Got any room in there?]





[...Yolbu alrighblbt?]

And thus, at last, 29 joins the suicide squad.

Who's next?

It never takes because her heart just keeps going.
>She just shifts around uncomfortably in the tub as Shining and Celestia drown right next to her. Awkwardly poking at her magical chest organs, wondering where it all went wrong next to two dopey faced royals.

....Are we opposed to fixing Sunset via magic-bullshit heart transplant or are we just being lazy bums not fixing things?
Well, what's your reason?
I can't write good

We know already, it's AJ.


>She is loud.

'And fast. Just... so freakishly fast.'


>She's also draining my wallet.

'You could just not give her money.'

>I don't want her mopey, she is annoying when she is mopey.



'You haven't stopped her yet.'

>Child, I have held up mountains, I once caught a floating city in the air and held it aloft, but this...


>...This is beyond my power.

You could just punch her.

...Just saying.



>Oh, right, I can do that... holy shit, have I really not fought something in so long I forgot I can do it!? I need to change that!

'Don't think that's going to be a problem.'

>Why's that?

'Because you just blew a hole in the Crystal Empire, and now they're all charging you.'

>...So they are.


>.....BRING IT!

>Huh... that was really easy.

'Was a LITTLE unfair when you broke the damn top off the castle and ate the fucking Crystal Heart!'

>Details... well, now what?


>Hence my problem. There's nothing left!

'I... I just... what!?'

>...Want to go get ice cream?


>But there's still ice cream! Yayyy! Ice cream!


>I'm a good mom.
Well, someone has been watching One Punch Man.

Though Chitty would be more like one of the guys who gets one-punched, I don't think she'd get existential and bored like he does.

Like not being able to write well has stopped any of us. Most of us write one shot silly.

Grow a pair anon, and give it a shot.

[Wait! I've got it!]

{Tell me, my brilliant brother!}

[What if we lifted up the cell up over the machine!]


[...It'll work!]

{Please pay no attention to him, that is not indicative of our planning abilities!}

>It seems like it is...

{DAMN IT! This is why mom hated you!}

[GASP!... i-I know...]
>Implying this won't be the one time it works, because it's her debut fight.



>Thank you!

-Stop that!-

"From the right!"


>Thank you!


"I cannot, I promised that she would not be harmed...admittedly that ship has sailed but I'm not letting you just beat her up."

'This bitch deserves, if not death, the single biggest ass whipping I can give her, so stay outta this!'

"I have reservations..."

>Don't worry, Lavan, I can handle this! Yo, Ms. Mole, take THIS: EEKEEE-



'Yeaaaaaah, can't do your obnoxious echo shit with a great big mushroom in your mouth, huh?'

Chomp! Chew chew chew...

>'m nvr et'n mshrmms agin!

'Oh, too bad, here-'


'-have some Bitchslap Ala Flambe, because my left hook is FIRE, BABY!'

>FfffffUCK, think I lost a fang...

'Ha, that's what you ge-'



>Lasers. Cuz Changeling. Did I get her, guys?



"In a manner of speaking. Hey guess what's in her mane?"



>Red ones?

"I'd say more very pale pink."

>Huh, well that's weir-

Trot trot trot, SLAM!


'Ha, high school hoofball pays off! I gotcha on the ground now, bitch, what now?'

>I drain you like a chocolate milkshake?



"...oh right, they're all made from my magic. I don't think there's much in the way of love in there, 88."




Thwack! Smack! Pow! Whack!

"Go 88! Go for her eyes! She cannot go for yours, you have the advantage!"
>A catfight where you can't go for the eyes

You monster!



-How long have they been at this?-



'Ha...thas...nuffin'! Hya!'


"Time is relative down here, I believe. You appear to have memories of a full life despite my only experiencing two hours. For all we know, there could have been hours of struggle taking the place whenever either of us made the mistake of blinking."



'Gah! Leggo of my ear!'


-That right? Cos I swear it's only been fifteen minutes. Hey how long's it been for you two?-


'Aha! You stopped...biting!'



'Damn it!'

-Guess your topsy turvy time theory holds water. So should we blink until they tire themselves out?-

"It depends, are you out of popcorn?"


"Then yes."


'Haaaate you!'

"Three two one! Blink!"


>Ha! Gotcha...in...the camel clutch!





'Eat speaker system...body snatcher!'






'I'm walkin' on bug spine~! Whooaaaoooaaa~! And I feel GOOD~!'

"Oh this is taking forever, let's just close our eyes for a while and hope it's over when we open them."

-You got it!-

Okay, that singing bit was clever.
Morning, /pa/ls.
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and you got to keep them separated! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!!

"Did they agree?"

>Yep yep! As long as we look out for each other, the show doesn't need to go on a hiatus.

"We weren't concerned. We expected them to agree."

>...Is that suppose to mean something?

"They are part of your dream are they not? Why wouldn't they agree?"

>Wait, are you saying they're not real?

"As I've said so before. They are a part of your dream. They are as real as any of your guests that have been here."

>...so my guests weren't real either? But but my time with Applejack! The cardboard cutouts!

"Did you ever wonder if your friends here are acting just like they do in the waking world, or are they a little...off? Why would Cadence and Diamond Tiara stay around all this time when they barely know you in person? Did you ever wonder if you got your way a little too easily? Everything has been a dream up to now."

>But the shadows! The Dream Eaters!

"You wanted an adventure and your mind manufactured it. You got your wish."

>Are you real?

"We are as real as you believe us to be. While we are in your dream we can only say what you think we would say. That said, you have been trapped in a dream for some time."

>H-how long have I been asleep?

"Do you remember when you had to call for my help because you couldn't wake up...do you remember what I talked about in the dream city about kids in comas?"

>...Mother of Celestia.

"You must wake up soon. They are going to pull your life support."

>Oh no! What do I do?

"I have a mouse trap. Stick your tongue out. The pain will wake you up."

>OWTH...it didn'th workth!

"No it didn't because I made it up. That's for your 'Christmas' gifts that one night...That's all the time we have so have a good night."
A door opens and Luna leaves.

>...okayth I'th deserthed that.
But it has too. Because despite what Potsticker and 56 want, if he gets spotted going into the castle it invalidates Fancy's investigation AND gives vindication to Canterlot's suspicion. We'll have to move everyone to Canada!
Everything in the dream, was a dream. Damn that is a good twist.

Also LNPP Anon are you planning to finale Dream Pinkie soon with that reveal? Cause that sounds like something that is a precursor to either Luna isn't real and is trying to get rid of Pinkie or She wakes up and has to find the point of continuing her dream show with the knowledge that almost everything she encountered has been her own mental constructs.
We don't know if she wants that, maybe she's eager to tell him off.
Will see, but it really looks like she is just defending 56 because Luna made him her pet project.
Luna wins


>This is getting uncomfortable.

"No no! Hold your fleeing, we've got plenty more to show!"

'Like this little thing that swings to and fro!'

"Damn it Flam! That's just out little desk toy!"

'Well I'm sorry, he didn't care about the Super Staple Stamper Six Thousand, he didn't need the Mega Magnifying Megasizer Twelve hundred, and he didn't even react to Matchstick number Nine!'

"Because it was just a matchstick! How's that supposed to help!?"

'Burn the evidence?'


'I DON'T KNOW, OKAY!? I just want to do some kind of community service of literally any kind to reduce our sentences below 'life', that's all!'

"Well, Flam, I don't know if you've noticed but I'M IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU!"

'So you try something!'

"...Look! It's a Fantastic Filer-"

>That's a filing cabinet.



'...Ahem, can we have a moment?'

>I really need to get back to work...

'NO DON'T LEAVE PLEASE! Then... then you'll miss out on our great deals!'

>I don't feel like that will be missing much.

'JUST WAIT... now, here's what we're going to do...'

>Should I slip out now?

[MISTER FANCY! We have a problem!]

>Drat. What is it now?

[Uh... we've found a... problem, holed up in the castle?]

>And what would that be?




{That's all I got, everyone else just ran away. Um... wooga booga?}

>... Maybe I should have left this to Hoity Toity...

This had been a weird day for him.

"That was very unwise."

'Doesn't look like it from where I'm standing.'

Was already gonna be weird because of his talk with his Cuz, but then all this? Meeting agents? Fighting other Lings? And now Miss... should he call her Mourning Star or her real name? Real name seems like it would make her mad, and she's gonna be his boss, should probably play it safe.

Anyway, she just jumped out of nowhere and kicked dudemare! This was crazy!

Crazy awesome!

"I'm fucking done, I want you to know."

>Wow, good thing Cuz isn't here.

He would probably tell him to sit in the corner or something, Cuz could be a real nag sometimes. Most times. About as much as he liked to talk in a school play.

Cuz liked to nag a lot, is the point. Not like Not-Mom, Not-mom let him do cool stuff.

He didn't know that this stuff could be AWESOME!

'Well, if that kick wasn't enough to show you why messing with me is a bad idea, then maybe-




"...Why was there lightning inside the hallway?"

'No reason.'

"And... and was that sulfur?"


"Is that a smoke machine!?"

'It's not.'

[Really, Potsticker?]

'MOURNING STAR! I demand some respect here!'

>I respect you!

'I don't respect plotkissers!'

>...then you're really not gonna like me.

{How long did that all take you to set up?}

'I didn't set anything up-'



"Oh come on, a speaker system!? This is weirdly elaborate!"

'Which is why it's not mine!'

"I just... what the fuck?.. You know what, I don't even care, give me that changeling."

'Oh, you want this changeling?'


'You want him?'

"Yes I said!"

'You suuuure?'





So that's what it felt like to be a bullet.




'And that's one changeling infiltration put in it's place. Good job, me.... and fucking terrible job, mr I-Wear-Sunglasses-indoors.'

[The devil are you talking about?]

'Oh, shit, are you really that far out of the loop?'

{Actually, yes, we are. We've been away for a while.}

'Wow! Oh wow, well, bad news is, it turns out that Princess Cadence has been handing off all her official paperwork duties to a changeling.'

Oh, neat!

That's what it looked like when they were actually shocked, he was starting to think they only had one mode, 'passive smug'. Cool!

[...You must be joking.]

{That... that is the most unprofessional thing I've ever heard!}

'Yes, it turns out that she's been living a lie, and her duties handled by a possible infiltrator. And as a result, Canterlot's elites are under investigation, and changelings are barred from the castle while this infiltration is sorted out.'

>Pffft, Eighteen isn't an infiltrator anymore, I think she retired or something!


>That's her name, Eighteen.

[You.. knew about this?]

>A duuuuuuhhhh! I hang out in her office all the time!

...Was that the wrong thing to say?

He felt like that was the wrong thing to say right now.


'Hrm... I might've jumped the gun here...'

[I should say.]

'I actually thought he was trying to protect the castle from this infiltration.'


{Yes, about that...}


It was around this time a balloon reading 'you've made a terrible mistake' finally floated down from where it had been stuck in the ceiling.


It felt appropriate.

{Most unprofessional-}

'Oh shut up!'

Cuz was never gonna believe this one.
>'I don't respect plotkissers!'
>>...then you're really not gonna like me.

Lost it.

The explanation had been long, if a bit overly descriptive. He hadn't spared much, if only because the surprise of just what he was saying was as much something that needed to be clarified by himself as it was for her. He had said it all, and nothing less.

Which was why her utter, complete silence unsettled him like very little else in this world.

>Soooo... yeah. That's about the short of it.

"...I'm not going."

At last, a reaction. He thanked those above for it, as little as was given, just for the sheer fact he had been given it.

>I really don't think that staying would be a good idea. Come on, it'll be good to get away for a bit! You, me, relaxing, no worries, nothing but fun, it'll be great!

"I'm not going."

>We can get away, spend some time with Two-remember Two? She's going to have a ball here, don't you think?

"I'm not going."

>And hey, maybe Chrysalis will finally calm down some, even! She's been really stressed and-

"I'm not going."


"I'm not going."

>Cadence, we have to go, they're... look, either they're doing this because they want to show us they're not mad, or they're doing this to prove something to themselves, or what, but whatever the reason, they need this. We need this


Internally, he could not help but curse.

The real name, not "Shiny".

"...I don't know if I can do this..."

Nothing more needed said, he was already on it.

Grabbing hold with all he had, and holding her tightly.

>Cadence you can't do this alone, and like it or not, the rest of us have to go. I couldn't leave you behind, but even if I did... I wouldn't want you to try all alone.

"I just... I want to get better."


>And you will! Honey, you will, I believe in you, but you're too stressed, you're not learning anything, you're going to burn out at this rate. You need to relax, this has all been really hard on you... just come with us? You can still study all you want, just... not in here...

In the cold, empty room, filled with nothing. No sounds, no brightness, no light.

Nothing but papers.

>Please?... For me?

She was silent. He hadn't wanted to play that card, he really hadn't, but he had been given no other choice. He had no other choice at all.

Because even still, she was silent.

"...I'll pack a few things."

It wasn't much.

But, to him, it was all he ever needed.

>We're going to have a ball, you'll see.

It was all he needed.

>You'll see.

This would all work out he was sure of it.

>...Think we took a wrong turn somewhere, this don't look like the right way back to Canterlot.

"What makes you say that?"

'The abandoned buildings, the terrible road conditions, the dumpster fires and the bunch of ponies walking around with guns.'

"Don't be racist, Scootaloo!'

'W... what?'

[Vekir is reminded of home... but it is worse somehow.]

>That ain't assurin' me none.

"Aww, it's not so bad! It's got some good parts! Look at the water over there, looks great!"

'There's a pelican over there.'

"Rich with wildlife!"

>He's blue.

"Unique too!"

'And it's holding a sign that says 'will do anything for a trip to the beach, anything.''

"Hard working!"

>Now it's gettin' mugged by a pigeon. Someone should probably stop that.


"Wow, competitive job market!"

'Annnnd, now he's eaten the pigeon.'

~Dang it! I called dibs!~

"Wow! It's like you don't even need the guard at all!"

[That is muchly good, as Vekir has not seen any since we arrived.]

"Yep. This place is pretty... Vekir, what are you wearing?"

[Vekir was almost robbed.]

>Then... then why are ya' wearin' a purple fur coat and giant hat?


>...Detrot is messed up.

"I like it here!"

[Vekir does as well!]



~Well, good thing I sharpened my sword on the way here.~
Oh god, don't let Vekky anywhere near Sweet Note.
The flashbacks...

She will never stop begging Chitty to kill her.


Damn it, that was good.

>What do you mean, you didn't kill her!?

"She stole my crown."


"...I... I am afraid..."

>So... uh, hey, guys. Long time no see, eh?


'Do we know you?'

[I feel like I've seen him before...]

{Like, on the tip of my tongue... did you used to work at the coffee shop on Trottington?}

>...Well, that's not soul destroying or anything.

{Aw, come on, I'm sure you only messed up once or twice!}
Go onto the hub RIGHT NOW and look at which servers are the most popular
Awwww, poor guy...
I have no idea what you are talking about.
...Do you think it was a swapped post?

I remember seeing posts on /mlp/ be sporadically replaced by posts on another board.

One time, managed to get one autistic shitposter on /vp/ banned because his post was replaced by poni

>Aha! Pommel! You recognize me, right!?





(...no, actually, I don't. Did we ever... talk?)

>Well, no, but... I mean, it's me!


>...My mom is that really crazy guard mare who won't quit.

(OHHHHHHHH! Last Act! Right! Youu! I remember you now.)


(Oh come on, you look like every other guard. Well, now it's look like a pony who looks like a guard but isn't I guess.)


(You having fun not being a guard?)

>...I-I need some juggling, if you don't mind...

(You sound like you're having fun.)
Same, same.
Pom, Pommy? Pom Pom Pa Pom?

Don't piss off the guy who fixes your Best Friend's coffee.

He may be too good-natured to spit in it, but come on.
Nah, Luna's just messing with Pinkie for giving people wet dreams during Christmas. The number of complaints would have been pretty bad.
I also like a good mind fuck by bringing in the metaphysical, and questioning the nature of our reality, so it scratched that itch. After all, if you were aware that you were in a dream, does it matter if the experience is real or not?
As if!
32 just waits for when Acty looses it and adds some extra cream, he's THAT desperate.

>So you claim you've taken up residence here, and that is why you were on the premises.

"Actually, I said I lived here and I was here cause they were trying to hurt Bluey."

'I'm Bluey, don't let the... interesting connotation of the name confuse you.'

>There is a changeling who lives in this castle.


>Specifically, the... new princesses office?

"That's right, up in the corner where Winona can't bite me, and I sleep in the vents!"

>...You sleep in the vents.


>In the vents that go through the entire castle.

"Those ones! But I had to move from my first one, cause it got melted... by Queen Chrysalis."


"She was maaaaaddddd."

>I see...

'It's not as bad as it sounds.'

>Do you happen to possess mind control powers, by any chance?

"Yep! I can make mindweaves!"

>And these mindweaves can control ponies.

"Uh huh!"


'I reiterate, it's not as bad as it sounds.'

>Can you show me one, perhaps?


>And why is that?

"I don't wanna die. Makin' them is uh... kinda dangerous unless I got somebody to hug, and you don't look like you wanna hug me."

>I do not, please do not take it personally, it is simply a professional matter.

"It's okay, almost nobody wants ta' hug me! Right, guys?"

The two ponies hugging each other in the back of their cell nodded.

[That is very much true.]

{Dear goddess, Flim, what is it!?}

"I'm Arana."

>So you've said... and why are you on the premises? I was under the impression all who associate with changelings were to be barred.

'I'm in a rather peculiar predicament. Mostly that I am not allowed to leave the castle under threat of re-imprisonment barring catastrophes.'

>Hm. Quite the predicament, yes.

"So, uh... you want a hoofsie? I took the bombs out of this one!"


'Not as bad as it sounds.'

>That's getting rather hard to believe. All the same, sorry to say but you are now officially a being of interest, Miss Arana.



>Your placement in such a politically vital place coupled with your sudden appearance and powerset means that you are quite suspect in the matter of infiltration of the royal household and therein the ponies within it.

"...I understood like, some of that."

'He means you're now under suspicion of mind controlling ponies, specifically Applejack.'



"I didn't do that."

>Yes, well, you can see why that would be hard to believe.

"But I didn't..."

>With you being in the castle, it is now imperative that we detain you until we can contact Queen Chrysalis for extradition rulings.


'He wants to arrest you until he can call Chrysalis to have you moved to her custody.'

"Ohhhh... why her?"

>She is your Queen, isn't she?


>Come again?

'Arana is from a different hive entirely, and until a short time ago wasn't even allowed within walking distance of the Hive, she's no more a citizen of Chrysalis then you or I am. To the point that upon her arrival, the Queen tried to set her on fire. '

>...Well, now I feel a touch racist.

"Got a hat to make you feel better!"

>So you do... well, still, it would look rather terrible of me if I didn't investigate something like this fully. You will have to be detained until I have thoroughly examined your place of residence, and held an interview with you to ensure you were not present in any illegal mind related or other activities regarding the royals of Canterlot.


'He wants to-'

"Think I got the gist of it. Sooo... do I have to go down to the dungeon?"

'Mister Fancy, if that is the case then I insist that I be sent with her to-'

>Don't be silly, she hasn't even been accused of a crime. Though, thanks to your status, it would be wise if you joined her in being detained.

"Theeennn... what? Ya' want me to hang out with you?"

>Clearly not during the investigation, no.

"So what do we do?"

[W-why are they looking over here?]



Being Actarius never stops being suffering.
> not taking one of Ara's hoofsies
And to think I once considered Fancy bro tier until this point, the heartless cur.
we all know he wanted to on the inside, but he has to be professional, and I'm pretty sure he knows Changelings drain via touch, didn't 2 or 56 explain that to him at some point?
Sorry man, Fancy is pure Professional. He's doing an investigation! He can't be accepting gifts from suspects, come on.

He'll buy her a marshmallow filled balloon when he's done and not a second before!
Neither of them did, at least not that we saw.

He did go visit Two though.
...Well Sweetie is getting fucked again...


"I... I don't know."




[Gonna just keep staring at us or what!?]


{Oh dear...}


(I told you this was a bad idea!)

'I didn't see you stopping me!'

~All you did was get one of those chocolate kisses thing! That was it! THAT WAS ALL YOU DID!~

"How were we supposed to know it was going to end up like this!?"


'Because I'm Pinkie.'


[She has a point.]

"Look, just... get on, would you? We're going on a trip."


'We already stopped by Ponyville and got your stuff!'


[You just going to keep staring or what?]



>Nice to see you too, Centitrain.


>Ah' wanna go back ta' mah farm...

Taking requests.
Delivery time may vary.
What's the limits here? Because I would looooove a pic for 55, have been wanting one of that goofball for a while now.

Or, barring that, Fluttershy going crazy with her chaos powers would be the tits if you're up for something more complicated than a happy changeling on fire.
I'm a passerby. Who is Chitania?

Just explain 55 to me and I'll do what I can
>I'm a passerby. Who is Chitania?
He means this character. http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Queen_Chitania?file=Queen_Chitania.png
Pic related is what she looks like.

TLDR for her is that she's a changeling Queen who's special skill is shapeshifitng to Godzilla sizes because she's a Godzilla homage, sorta.

Just something like this fighting alicorn AJ is what he wants.
oooh, someone doesn't know anything about this general.
We run a continuous storyline here, with our own canon.
just read it again and realized he meant pictures, not writefaggotry
wow I feel stupid, sorry, though it probably still applies.
>Just explain 55 to me and I'll do what I can

Like I said, he's a super fucking happy changeling, but his gimmick is that he's on fire all the time. Blahblahblah magic portal mishap blahblahblah, just think Human Torch+Changeling who is the happiest motherfucker you've ever seen.

Or like said, Fluttershy(Who's an alicorn here) doing shit with her chaos magic, Discords to be precise, which she has in this timeline. Her thing here is that she can't really control it so it goes wild.

Or AJ petting a smaller changeling holding a potted plant.
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Shit, THIS pic related. Knew I didn't click it...
I would love a pic of Alicorn AJ hugging a tiny little changeling with a crown who is holding a bag of marshmallows. If the bag says "Marchmalleys", that would be perfect.

He's not a frequent, needs to be updated on who that is.

And for this, she's an earth-pony businessmare who is obsessed with power and is an antagonist She's never been described in canon color wise, but the closest thing we've got is that she looks a lot like the Galacon pony.
Man, I don't want to overload you when everyone else is jumping on, but that story above makes me really want to see Applejack, princess version obviously, riding Centitrain.

She's a giant centipede that was going to be a train, so she has railings on her back and spits lightning.

Yes, She.
I'mma save you some work and just second this.

Princess AJ vs Dinosaur sized changeling just sounds fuckawesome.
I'll try and get these all done as soon as possible!
Godspeed, anon!

>and then anon was never heard from again, buried under the all the arts
That said, you have my blessings, man.
All of the thanks, anon.

All of them.
>All those requests.

While admittedly two of them were a mistake someone made and one of them was clarification, still can't wait to see what comes out of that.
>'Because I'm Pinkie.'
>[She has a point.]

She does, man. Nobody to blame but yourselves.
Come on ride the train
Come ride it
Come on ride the train
Come ride it
Come on ride the train
It's a Cent-a-train~
Sweetie Belle. The one character who actually gets laid in /pa/ all the time and whose life isn't suffering (mostly due to her own affable ignorance)!
Nightlight and Velvet's life is pretty damn sweet.

They're kinky as shit too.
Well, it IS, but like 55 she just doesn't let it get her down.
She's actually rather untouched as far as bad shit happening goes. She almost caused the apocalypse and didn't even get a reprimand.
>She was maaaaddd

Oh, hey, neat continuity.

I forgot Arana's OG vent got melted by ragylis.
Both are dumb as rocks too... Coincidence?
...probably, yeah.
Acty just go find Punch and 41, they know you.
But it's wrong
But they don't like him.
Based on this comercial https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBl81cxHjWA
It's been in my head for years and I want it out.

>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I'm a corporate sellout! Now for our main guest...RAINBOW DASH!!!
Rainbow Dash flies through the clouds.

[Bad girls bad girls, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when we come for you~]
Upbeat music as the Pink Pony Club surprise Rainbow Dash from behind.

>"'Wanta Ponka? Don'tcha wanta? Wanta Ponka? Don'tcha wanta? Wanta Ponka? Don'tcha wanta? Wanta Ponka? Don'tcha wanta?'"

[Pinkie? What are you doing h-]

>"'If you want some action then drink a Ponka for your satisfaction!'"

DT uses TBDRLIATU to shoot a bottle of Ponka at RD's face.

>"'Wanta Ponka? Don'tcha wanta?'"

>Don't you wanta?

...Huh. I guess if we work this right, AJ&Rarity will never have to know about any of this.

Checklist o latent fetishery we've confirmed in /pa/

Hoof fetish
Succubus fetish
Drowning fetish
Foalcon fetish

Any more?
Interspeices-AJ/Rarity/Spike ChangelingxAnyone else
Weapon DT/Tibblewibble
Vore Pommel arc start off
Macro Chitty
(It counts) Ass fetish 56
Mind control (see /d/)
fem dom
Pony equivalent of horsefucker in Sunset.
I don't know why this is a thing but 29's crew has an accent fetish.
BDSM Screwloose
>Vore Pommel arc start off
>Macro Chitty

Well, not the CREW, just MM
Actually any non named pony has swooned over his accent. But MM is the only one who seems to get off on it.
For some reason I thought this was going to break out in a certain spice girls song...
~if you wanna be a Ponka...~

Shit, now it's in my head.
Because it isn't sexual until you make it so, it's never been treated as such in story.

That's right, you didn't uncover anything about the story, you found out something.... About yourself. Congratulations.
Not that anon but You literally made me chuckle out loud and ask "what?"

Neat, we have that many?

Now rank em, best to worst.
>Pony equivalent of a horsefucker in Sunset

>mfw Sunset is one of us, in reverse
>mfw she gets Twilight to spread the Internet in Equestria
>mfw she creates pony 4chins to shit post about celestia, then /mlh/
>mfw she creates a thread called Princess Southern Belle
>mfw it's /pa/, humanized, with ponies lurking and writing one ongoing long story while the rest of the board is full of fetish fuel and generals

...Am I going too far?
Bit meta

>Oh thank goodness! You guys remember me, right?

"...he does look familiar."

'I almost have it...'

>Come ooonnn...

"...Oh hey! I do know you!"

'Yeah! I know who that is!'


"He's the moment ruiner!"


'You ruined our moment back then!'

"Eat hoof, jerk!"



"Hate guys like that."


>... I'm going to need a lot of juggling to fix this.

"He's still awake!"


>... So much juggling.

'Stay down damn it!'

Jesus, did we just dispel all of AJ's suffering to the side guys?

It's like, without the Chrysalis/AJ conflict, the universe just doesn't know what to do.
>AJ's Suffering
You mean Chrysalis's suffering You know the one who is a stiff breeze from falling over and not wearing pieces of the power armor she used to beat said Ling.
AJ just has stress from being main character. You all would go her life is suffering if she got a papercut. Now, Jetset or 7, no arguments, they suffer. AJ, has a bit of strife but no real suffering.
AJ's suffering rarely extends to the physical.

Mentally? She suffers worse than anyone. All that inner turmoil or trying to be a good princess, what she just recently went through going all the back to when she had to decide whether to give Blueblood an extra day.

Her suffering is in the head.

"I don't like this."

She had been grumbling like this a while, a long while.

A long, long, long while.

A long while filled with her flopping on her bed, decidedly not packing anything, yet also not lifting a hoof to stop him when he did said packing for her.

>I know, Chrysalis, but just be happy they included you.

"I'm not."

If she was trying to sound dangerous with her mouth in the pillow, she missed by just that much, coming off more like a grousing child.

>Well, you should be.

"They want me to leave."

>They want all of us to go out for a few days, not leave, you're not special. It's not like they're kicking you out again.

"I don't feel like leaving."

>And who's fault is it that they don't know how bad off you are right now, miss "I'm gonna hide behind my disguise because sky above forbid anyone see me in any state besides perfect"? Maybe if you actually looked like your normal self when you went out, they would have reconsidered asking you to go on a trip.

Almost poignantly, her flame covered her again, once more disguising the rough state she was in.

"It's not about that."

>Then what is it about? Is it because you don't want to hang around a certain someone, perhaps? Because if it's that you have nobody else to blame for not telling me-

"It's not about that either."

>Well, then share with the class, I'm not hearing anything but mumbling.

She sighed deeply, her breath heating up her pillow something terrible.

"I don't want to leave them alone, alright."

>Oh... oh.

Well, that certainly took the wind from his sails, he was forced to admit to himself.

>Look, they're not going to-

"I'm not worried about them being attacked, they could kick your guy's ass."

>...Charming. But if you-

"I'm not worried about them being harassed, they're used to that."

>Ohhhkay. Well, if you're-

"I'm not worried about them blowing something up."

Finally frustrated, he could take no more, and slammed her favorite towel into the suitcase.


>Alright, fine, what is it then?

"I'm worried they're going to do something stupid."


Once more, all the wind, just gone.

>Chrysalis, you can't live in fear of everything they do.

"Shiny, you know as well as I do that if one messes up, just one of them, then they all get blamed for it. It just takes one idiot."

A tired breath left him as he clicked her suitcase shut, a short pause filling the air before he shuffled over to her, flopping down on his back beside her on the bed.

>I know, but... you know.

Her head rolled to the side, letting her see the side of his face from behind her curtain of green mossy hair.

"No, I don't know."

>Yes you do.

"Fine, what do I know?"

Slowly, his head rolled to the side as well, allowing him to look her right in the eyes.

>You know that this isn't ever going to change unless you let them be defined by more than just... being a swarm.

"They're not ready yet."

>They never are going to be.

She couldn't argue that, emerald orbs flickering away from his gaze.

"...Why now?"

>Why not?

"...I don't like this."

>Me either, but you know... maybe this will be good? We could use some time off, Chrysalis, you know that.

His hoof reached out, just brushing by the edge of her cheek. The bruise on it, no longer hidden, faded just a bit without needing any contact at all.

"...I don't want to go."

>Chrysalis... for me?

He hated playing that card, he really, really did. It made him feel dirty just to say it.


Even if it was so very effective.

>Thank you... so, is there going to be a problem between you and the 'mystery' pony?

"No... There won't be."

>Good. But Chrysalis... if you need someone to talk to said mystery pony about this....

"... I know. You don't have to say it."

>Maybe not... but I want to.


They lay there, looking to the other for just a second longer, just long enough for their bodies to relax, and grow limp on the bed. For a while, they felt it, the strange ease that overtook them, the relaxing, soothing feeling of simply being, and not fearing what may come next.

They lay there for as long as they could, before the chime of the clock took it all away, and life had to resume.

"I'll go tell them to behave."

>All you can ask for.

"What happens if they mess this all up?"

>...Well, I've been looking into turnip farming here recently...


That familiar feeling, that fantastic cackle, so genuine and real unlike before, he had missed it so.

He had honestly missed it.

"Chrysalis, Queen of Turnips!... HAH!"

>I like how you assume you're just coming with if that happens.

He said it, trying to sound sarcastic. Needless to say, he was fairly certain his smile gave it away.

"I like how you assume you'd get away."

>No no... I've given up hope on that one.

Playfully, she shoved at him to push him off the bed. Perhaps out of a bit of pity, he 'helped' when her strength proved not up to the task.

>Come on, we've got prep to do.

"Yeah, yeah... Shiny?"


"...Lets have some fun."

The smile never went away.

If anything, it grew.

>Already am.
>trying to be a good princess
>don't want to make hard choices

That is all work related stress, not suffering. No actual pain or loss. No Suffering.
DAMN IT! Beat me to my SA/Chrysalis story!


She was sitting on his bed. Legs tucked in, ears flickering, eyes sparkling, and most of all... she was grinning. Oh, how she was grinning.


Her wings twitched on her back as her head rested between her hooves, and oh how she grinned.

>You're going to make me say it, aren't you?

Oh, how she grinned.

>Oh, fine... would you like to come with us on the trip, since you have nowhere else to be?

Her hoof mashed into her own cheek, her tongue popping out as if sprung from the action, and her gaze rolled to the sky.




>You're going to do this?

In fact, she was, as she proved quite assuredly when she rolled over from side to side before flopping onto her back, wings spread all the way out.

"Hm hm hm hmmmmm!"

>You're doing this right now.


>...Celestia, are you seriously going to-

She snapped out, quick as white lightning, when he walked close. The fool, walking just a step too far, to ever go within her reach. The fool had no chance before she grabbed hold, and yanked him to her chest.

"Oh, Shiny..."

She hugged him, with such power he could barely breath did she hug him, all limbs wrapping around him tightly.

"We... are going to have fuuuuunnnnn."


A part of him wished for the days when these actions might have unsettled him.

"Bring the boogie board."

It was not a big one.
God that's cute.
>>trying to be a good princess
>>don't want to make hard choices

One of these things is not like the other
But both of them describe AppleJack. It was why she flew off to the tree of harmony and why she wanted to use the mind control apple on the populous and why she struggled and bitched about having to sign off on Blueblood.

>So do ya'll have any idea where she's takin' us?


>Do ya' have any idea how long this is gonna be?


>How much it's gonna cost?

"Nu uh."

>Iffin' we're even allowed over there?


>...Yep, sounds about right.

'LEFT CENTITRAIN! LEFT! That's the shortcut!'

>That's a mountaaaiIIINNNNN



>If you wanna be a Ponka, you gotta have lots of friends! Party's last forever, Friendship never ends!

>If you wanna be a Ponka, you have got to twiiist! Shaking is too easy but that's the way it issss!

>If you wanna be a Ponka!
Damnit we keep trying to give her the suffering stick but is it just not enough?
She needs to be beat with it like everyone else, not just hand it to her and think when she uses it as a comb that that counts.
Meh, we'll worry about that after beach arc. Plenty of time to have some fun before we need to think up something for her to do.
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I wouldn't say it's Alicornshy going crazy, but she's definitely got the magic.
Yeah, really lay into her with it.

Kill Spike, kill Applebloom, cripple Big Mac, burn Arana at the stake! Steal Granny Smith's soul!

I'm just happy it got fulfilled!

Thank you!
Dubs confirm, time to get to work.

Irony aside, what do we REALLY do damnit?

I'm getting tired of these "Hurp der AJ is shit tier character Mary Sue woop woop"
>Upside down teacup

Nice touch.
Love the Alice in Wonderland feel you got going there, though admittedly that looks more regal than crazy.

Not that that's a complaint, she looks weirdly... I dunno, powerful or something. It's nice.
Funny. That is the other extreme from protecting her so much she because irrelevant to the plot.

When I say suffer, I don't mean kill and hurt those around her, I mean have her commit actions that hurt her fur covered friends and not have the bad things she does put in a vacuum or swept under the rug because she'll be sad if her friends are mad at her for more that two days Real Time.

Last arc was a good start, but it became her just punching her issues away until she decided to do what she should have from the start. She needs more of how it ended, her facing consequences (but actually give her some) and not just throwing temper tantrums until she gets her way.

Fuck go the Sweet Note path, have her visit the shit cities and have her be hated (not with Changelings) until she actually starts helping them and even then have to accept that the populous can be ungrateful but she still has to help to be the bigger mare.

That's new!
Pretty excellent start, way better than I expected from such a short time. Shading on her hair was pretty nice as well.

Now you've got me hyped for all the others.
>have her visit the shit cities and have her be hated
Issue; waaaaaaaaaay too far into OC territory, would effectively remove her from the stage for goodness knows how long, almost Pommel tier amount of disconnect
Alright what's your plan for what she can do
>Go Back behind the desk only coming out to be the straight mare?
>Take Changelings to the only other area in Equestria that we already established characters, Apploosa?
>Beat down Chrysalis again?
>Learn magic for one post?
>Fuck Spike?

>Alright, before I go, are there any questions?


>One, not a question, two, no fires!

"I mean-"

"Can we leave the stadium?"

>Yes, in fact I encourage that.

"Can we fly?"

>...I'm going to pretend for a moment you're not asking if you have the capability, and instead say yes, you have flight clearance.

"Good... it was the-"

>I know what it was.

"Can we leave too?"

>Wouldn't advise it until this whole investigation stops happening.


"What about eating food, should we avoid that?"

>You... you don't have to eat...


>Yes, fine, whatever.


>Anything else?



"Can I still gamble?"


"Can I write my stories?"








"But my action movie!"





>...There's something on fire over there, isn't there?

"Why did you think I kept saying that?"

>...I so fucking need this vacation.
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I don't know
Who fucking knows? Whatever it is, no one's actually going to be happy for a real stretch of time.

>Alright, we all ready to go? Honey, you got your eighty seven bags packed?


>Or the one. The one bag being packed is fine too and not at all worrying. Everyone else?

'I call the front!'

>You can't call the front on a train!

'Watch me! Any place can be called!'

[I call Shiny's lap!]


{Can I call the top of the train, then?}

>Why... why would you want that?

{It looks really cool when I stand on the train. I've got a pose and everything.}

>Are you even packed?

{I need nothing but the helmet upon my brow and my own two hooves.}


{And my toothbrush, for the teeth. I have good dental care.}

~I'm packed! Because... you know, I was already packed to come over here. Ahead of the game, that's what I am.~


>And other stuff, right? Not candy stuff?

^...probably in there too!^

>I should really have supervised you more.

(I packed the four things I own, because most of what I had I had to sell when I lost my job.)

-Oh boo hoo. Do you see a bag on me? No? Why do you suppose that is?-

=AHHHHHAHAHAHAH! BECAUSE LIKE MEEEEE, you NO LONGER neeeeed such silly things as BAGS filled devices of EEEEVVIILLLLLAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!... And nobody buys you stuff!=

-...I call the luggage rack, I need some time alone.-

'Can I claim that I need to use you for love-recharging and change my earlier seating?'


'I demand sympathy!'

[I demand you choke on it!]

'...You have made a powerful enemy today...'

>Alright, enough! Lets just all get on, and have a nice, happy, painfree vacation! NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN AND WE ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN!


~Shiny, you fool.~

>Knew it as soon as I said it...





"...This is gonna be fun."
I'm trying to think if that or something silly like >>25973784 would be better for the next OP.

That one seems like it would be really badass for a Fluttershy mini-arc, like with the 7 thing, and the other one looks like it would be better for this kind of silly arc, but that's some nice art.
"Crystal Ponies"

They watched, every one of them. Waving, smiling, giving out calls as the royals went off on their 'special' holiday. Rows upon rows of citizens so different from the norm of Equestria. Be they ponies with strange skin or monstrous looking being, all of them knew what it was to be different in this world, despite looking so much like ponies.

That said, there was something telling about both standing off to their own sides, not intermingling in the least as they waved, and called, and watched the royals with their heads hanging out of the windows as they waves right back, a certain small little limb by far waving the fastest and hardest.

They waved, and they watched, as they train started up, and they waved, and they watched, as the train went down the tracks and left, never looking away as it grew smaller, and smaller, and smaller into the distance, and was gone.

They slowed their waves, they slowly looked away, as the cheers died down, and the silence grew.



And soon, there was simply two sets of beings, one sparkly and bright, they other chitinous and black, looking upon the other from what may as well have been an impassable chasm of a mere few feet.



They watched the other, as the minutes flew by, not a movement between them, not a sound.


"...We could do that."





It was the start of a beautiful friendship.
...deep down, they really are children, aren't they
Fuck if that isn't exactly the note to go to Omakes on!

>Where are we goin' anyway?

"To the edge of the universe."

>...Sounds about right. By the way, did we forget anything? Ah' feel like we did.




'Alright, Princess, the changelings are all loaded up, do you want us to... Princess? Hellooo? Princess Applejack? Uh... the... the guards are all wondering what to do. Applejack? Princess?... Applehorse?... APPLEJACK!?... OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!'

>Welp... A' guess we can wind down now, that load of Development sure got to us, huh?