Anon, you said your people knew the ways of war, Correct? Well the Griffon Imperium has invaded Northern Equestria and the Crystal Empire. We are asking you to be Shining Armor's adviser. Will you accept?
ok faggot, heres what you need to do. first off, get better helmets for these faceless guards. seriously, a fucking infiltrator could capture a single guard and wed never know about it. assign them into squads so they can watch over each other.
First step: Surround horse cocks in bladed armor
Second step: Make horses have a fetish for griffin warriors
Third step: Use some magic pheromone on horses
Fourth step: Watch as the horses mercilessly >rape
Yes, step one, we invent the most holy of my people's artifacts given to us by the saint of saints, the child of the murdercube itself.
Now, first and foremost, I'm gonna need a few battalions of these...
>You kneel in front of the Royal Diarchs.
"Of course you majesties. It is my pleasure to serve my new home.
>You rise and look over to Captain Shining Armor.
>"We are glad you accepted. We ponies do not know the ways of war."
>You nod curtly.
"Okay. Here's what I'll need. The total number of pegasi we have, the entire Canterlot Mages guild, a book on how weather control works EXACTLY, unlimited access to tea - milk, three sugars, not too hot - oh, and a spiffy uniform. Something with a cape and HUGE pauldrons."
>Shining Armor looks at you dubiously.
>"You better be worth this, Anonymous of Earth."
>You give him a grin which distorts your green mask into a creepy rictus.
"Oh, trust me Captain - this is my element. This is what my race is known for. This is what we DO."
You know, as I'm looking at the picture, it would be fucking neato if someone actually filmed an actually good movie about humanized MLP. Like, they wouldn't be ponies and the whole "pony" thing wouldn't be mentioned anywhere in the movie, but it would still be about the same characters, with the same personalities, same world setting. It would just be, you know, more realistic, with real world problems to solve, like was, social problems, and so on.
Now, which actors do you think are fitting for the respective characters?
I can give some advice on how to restructure your forces.... but I think for strategy and tactics it would be best for you to just read On War by Carl Von Clausewitz and The Art Of War by Sun Tzu.
I have some annotated copies if you'd like them. They've worn a bit thin over the years, but they're still good.
Maybe I failed to make that clear, but I was talking about an actual motion picture with actual, live actors, not yet another animated piece of crap, and definitely not anything like any of these chinese cartoons that barely have 10 FPS most of the time.
>"Come on Anonymous, I'll take you to the planning chamber."
>You nod and fall into step with him.
>While he's got four legs, yours are longer, so you keep pace with him.
>He leads you through the halls of Canterlot, up and down some stairs.
>Eventually your internal map fails as you enter a more disused section of the palace.
>Your path terminates with a wall after you climbed some stairs that felt like it took an hour.
>Well, guess you'll be skipping leg day.
>He points his horn at the wall, both of which begin to glow, and the wall just folds into itself.
>A spacious chamber opens up before the two of you.
>That's the first thing you notice.
>The second thing you don't notice because the dust makes you cough.
"Captain, when was the last time this place was used?"
>Shining Armor is coughing too, but still manages to do it in a more polite way than you.
>"Ah. The last conflict was over 400 years ago."
>He looks away.
>"Anon, we're a peaceful species. I only got this job because I'm strong in defensive magics and have a mind for strategy and tactics."
>You nod again and look around the room now that the dust has settled.
>A bunch of small bookshelves, a giant table, a chandelier, a couple of stools shaped for a pony, a bunch of smaller tables, and a giant window.
>Not much to go on.
"Okay, Captain? First question - do you have an adjutant?"
"An assistant. Some kind of lieutenant that you and I can boss around, tell to fetch stuff, and coordinate things?"
>He thinks about it for a moment.
>"Yes. His name is Comet Blaze."
"Good. Can you summon him here?"
>He walks over to the window, hoofs it open horn glowing, and conjures up a trumpet, which he then blows in a particular pattern.
>He then throws the trumpet out of the window, where it explodes in a red flare.
>You walk to the window and peer out.
>You see a red-white pegasus flying towards you.
>He hangs mid-air and snaps a salute.
>"El-Tee Comet Blaze reporting for duty SAH!"
>Alright, Shining, first we move our southern forces here, and here..that should open things up for allied Zebra and Dragon forces right here.
>"..Anon, what does 'Monopoly' mean and why is it on this 'map' of yours?"
>FOOL, ONCE WE TAKE PACIFIC AVENUE AND BOARDWALK WE'LL BE UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry, 4chan is being very slow.
>You and Shining Armor exchange glances.
>You feel an grin spread over your face and are pleased to see one reflected in your co-commander.
>He nods at Comet Blaze.
>"We have recruited the human Anonymous as our plurpotent war advisor. I hereby promote him to rank of Captain. He is to be shown the same respect and afforded the same authority as I am. Is that understood?"
>Comet Blaze snaps another salute.
>"SAH YES SAH!"
>He then turns to you, salute still in place.
"SAH, waiting for orders, SAH!"
>You nod at him.
"Okay. First off, at ease."
>He relaxes a bit, mid-air, and his hooves go slack.
>That's pretty cute actually.
"Now, I'm gonna need a lot of stuff. I'm also going to need this stuff FAST, y'know. So. I need maps. Maps of the Crystal Empire, maps of Northern Equestria, maps of the Griffon Imperium. Let's see. I need the results of the pony census, I need-"
>Shining Armor taps you on the shoulder.
>"Anonymous? That's HUGE. Maybe you'd better hold off on that, and just go down there yourself."
>Right, that makes sense.
"Okay, belay that last order. I need a beautiful serving mare who will pour me tea. I need a uniform, so if you could run over to the postal office and shoot a message to one Rarity, in Ponyville, and ask her to come here on behalf of the crown."
>You rub your chin.
"Okay. Next, I need you to summon whichever pony is in charge of the Canterlot Magic Academy, the Royal Historian, and the head of the Weather Patrol team for Canterlot. Got all that?"
>He snaps another salute.
"SAH! Maps of Northern Equestria, the Crystal Empire, and the Griffon Kingdoms! Message to Rarity of Ponyville, regarding matters of the crown. Find the head of Weather Patrol, the Archmagister, and the Royal Historian, SAH!"
>You raise an eyebrow, but then rememeber that you're wearing a mask, and lower it down.
"And the beautiful mare to serve me tea?"
>Shining Armor coughs pointedly.
>"Anon, the military cannot conscript ponies into service. Especially service that isn't integral to the war effort."
>You spin and glare at him.
"Yeah, well, if you want to win this war, you're going to have to. Ponies are NOT fighters, you said so yourself."
>You pull up one of the stools and sit down on it and raise your finger.
"Back on Earth, there were really two types of conflicts. Ones where large armies would crash into one another, and whomever would have more soldiers standing at the end of the battle, would win. Equestria would LOSE that kind of war."
>You lower your finger.
"The other option is technological and tactical supremacy. Since Equestria doesn't have technology but has magic, then that's what we're going to use. THAT kind of war, we WILL win."
>Shining Armor and Comet Blaze look at you with strange expressions.
>You stand up.
"Okay. Belay the order about the mare for now as well."
>They continue staring.
"NOW GET MOVING! DIS-MISSED!"
>This seemed to have an effect, as Shining Armor jumps back, and Comet Blaze fires off another salute, and flies out of the window.
>Shining Armor watches him leave and then turns to you.
>"Anon, I want you to understand something. Our military is pretty much all decorative. We don't give orders to civilians, they give orders to us."
"But you have one. And that's the important bit. And I'm banking on something that you ponies are good at."
>You point to his cutie mark.
"Highly specialized talents."
>You gesture towards the door.
"I think it's going to take some time before he gets back. Before we lock ourselves inside Command and Control - that's what we're calling this room now - we're going to the Census Bureau."
>He trots and you walk out of the room.
>"Funny enough, Anonymo-"
"Stop. Call me Anon, just like my friends do."
>He flashes you a smile.
>"Great! You can call me Shiny then."
>You stop suddenly and extend your arm towards him.
>He looks at you quizzically, then goes "oh," gives a laugh, and pounds his hoof into your palm.
>You grab it and shake it instead.
>You cough awkwardly.
"Yeah, let's keep moving."
>"Yeah. And we never speak of this again."
>You almost slip on the spaghetti that spilled out both of your pockets.
"Does your Census actually keep track of cutie marks?"
>"Sure. That's how we know if a specialist is needed. But I don't know what you're thinking. Nopony that I know of has a cutie mark related to tactics or combat. I'm one of the few, and my talent is more magical than cerebral. Unlike my sister, heh."
"Oh yeah, congratulations on that, by the way. A Princess! How cool is that?"
>He laughs and you actually hear how happy he is for her.
>"Yeah. She's an amazing mare. You were friends back when you lived in Ponyville?"
"Still are. We exchange letters often. Remind me to tell you the time when I tried fighting Tirek for her."
>You laugh grimly.
>If it wasn't for healing magic, you'd be in a wheelchair right now.
>"She told me about that actually. Your idea -was- sound. You forgot that he got Earth pony strength."
>Wincing, you hold the door for him, and follow out into the courtyard.
"Yeah, well. Which is why I have a bunch of ideas and we're going to pursue all of them."
>You are lost in thought for a moment.
>She was pretty smart.
>And she frequently fights badass threats to Equestria.
>You miss her.
>She has her Princess duties, and while you were more of a layabout, than a pluripotent ambassador of the humans, Princess Celestia was nice enough to give you a job managing and cataloguing pieces of Precursor human technology.
>What you wouldn't give for an archeological find that has an IS-2 tank or a B-2 bomber...
>Shining Armor pokes you with a hoof.
>"Anon? You're a million miles away."
>>She has her Princess duties, and while you were more of a layabout, than a pluripotent ambassador of the humans, Princess Celestia was nice enough to give you a job managing and cataloguing pieces of Precursor human technology.
>What you wouldn't give for an archeological find that has an IS-2 tank or a B-2 bomber...
D'aww, thanks you guys. It's good to be back.
>You give a sheepish grin.
"Sorry. I was just thinking... Twilight fights threats to Equestria. She's pretty much five-for-five, right?"
>He nods slowly.
>"Anon, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not? Hell, she's a genius. We wouldn't send her out to fight. She'd be safe here in Canterlot."
>He thinks a bit.
>"I'll send her a message. Technically, the hierarchy is Princess Celestia, then Princess Luna, then Heartfl-, er, Princess Cadance, and only THEN Princess Twilight Sparkle."
>You fix him with a stare.
"I would point out that Princesses Celestia and Luna already know. And how's the Crystal Empire doing? Oh that's right. It's already been conquered."
>He growls at you.
>"Take that back."
"I'm sorry Shining Armor. That was a low blow."
>He nods and holds a door open for you.
>"Census Office is this way."
"Thanks. But I am right though. We need to view the world as it is. The overall gist is to recapture the Crystal Empire and the lost North. Then we push back - hard. So that they don't think about doing this for another 1000 years."
>He grumbles a bit.
>"Fine. Apology accepted and you're right."
"I really gotta admit, Shiny - if we're gonna keep being this awkward around one another... let's go for a beer in the evening?"
>He rears and whinnies.
"I knew you'd approve."
>The two of you walk into the Census Bureau.
>Lots of ponies are scurrying about, forms in mouths, while others are sorting them.
>The sound of rustling papers and voices shouting about names and addresses fill your ears.
>The two of you walk up to the front desk, with Shiny flattening his ears against his skull.
>You envy him right now.
>You ring the bell.
>The Earth pony receptionist holds up a hoof at you as she's talking to a co-worker.
>"One moment please - yes, so you'll need twelve Bee Bee El You forms. Then run them over to Corrections."
But the Griffins also had an otherworldly general...
>She turns to you.
"Oh, Captain! Good to see you. And you, Mister
Anonymous. What can we do for you."
>The two of you exchange glances and then Shining
Armor speaks up.
>"Well, we'd like a copy of the Census."
>She beams at you, reaches down to pull a drawer open,
takes out two forms and pushes them over to you.
>"Here you go! Though I must admit, you picked a
rather odd way of going about it! You could've just filled it out at home."
>The two of you exchange glances again.
"Uhhh. No. I already sent mine in. No, you misunderstood us. We want THE Census. Like, the whole thing."
>She gives you a blank look.
>"The results of the Census? The completed information? You know."
>She looks fixes you with another blank stare and then nods with determination.
>"Right. Please follow me."
>She swings the door open for you and gestures for you to follow her.
>The two of you do so as she leads you through the maze of cubicles, filing cabinets, and ponies running around with papers.
>Eventually she leads you to a large door, which she opens for you.
>"You'll need to work in here for a bit. I'll grab Cipher Roll for you."
>With that she bolts out.
>"Huh. That was weird."
>You hold out your fist to Shiny who bumps it with his hoof.
"Duuude I was just thinking that."
>The two of you chuckle for a bit and then look around the room.
>Giant filing cabinets, twice your size, and maybe 3-4 the height of a pony.
>Shining Armor looks at you.
>"So... Anon. I'm guessing you want cutie marks that are war related? Shields, armor, spears, muscles, that sort of thing? We pretty much have all of those in the guard. Also we generally have cartographers, organizers, and so on and so forth on retainer."
>You sit down and pull your mask off.
>"Whoah. Dude, you look... whoah."
"Heh. Yeahhhh. Rarity broke it down why my face tends to unsettle ponies."
>You see his flanks tremble as though he wants to kick you.
"Yep, and you just saw my canines. Sorry."
Possible idea since you're already doing this. Ponies should play to their strengths fighting griffons and you're doing this already, but they should also avoid the griffons' strengths.
The most obvious is air supremacy. Even with pegasi, they're still going to win on that because they can ALL fly.
So using underground fortifications (earth ponies can dig) and forcing the griffons to fight indoors and in tight areas neutralizes their advantage there.
I'm having dinner, so I'm gonna take a 15 minute break.
Yeah, I thought about that. But there are gonna be time skips in the story, because I don't think it's necessary to detail everything out. Basically, Anon is gonna give out orders, some stuff happens, and then resolution. I do not know enough about warfare to actually detail everything down.
Ehhh, it's a thing I have. My headcannon is that humans are basically Precursors in equestria, and the reason why the ponies tolerate Anon is because he can actually understand what a hair dryer is for vs a tablet or something.
>He shakes his head.
>"No, keep it off. You don't need to hide your muzzle from me."
>"Right, face. Sorry."
>You start to grin at him, but then turn it to a polite smile with less teeth.
"I'll put it back on when Cipher Roll is about to come in. I'm sure we'll hear him. ANYWAY. No, we're looking for something else. Let me tell you the codenames we're going to use, and what we're looking for."
>You look around and find a convenient piece of paper, quill, and inkwell.
>You jot down two symbols.
>He looks at them and looks at you.
>"Y'know. It could just be me, but I got a bad feeling about this. These symbol look off."
"Yeah. The thing is, back on Earth, I was really not anything special. Just another person. But I always had a theory, that if war was to be waged, it should be waged to WIN."
>You tap the paper.
"And these two symbols basically prevented any sort of conflict from arising, ever since they were deployed."
>"Anon, Equestria is a peaceful place-"
"That is now at WAR! You don't get a silver medal being in second place!"
>He shrinks away.
>"I don't know if this is a good idea."
"Okay, tell you what? These will be "last resort" things."
>He shakes his head.
>"No. No. We shouldn't have gotten a predator from another world to do out planning for us! What were we thinking?!"
>Is this bitch serious?
>You smack him across the muzzle.
>He stares at you in shock.
"Now listen to me Shiny. You can't be second-guessing me all the time. I told you, you don't get second place... okay, hold on."
>You pull the mask back on your face.
>Shining Armor takes a couple of deep breaths.
>"Okay. Okay. I'm all right, sorry Anon."
>You nod at him, but give a wince that you hope he won't notice.
"Yeah, null sweat. Now, let's finish these off, and go to some of the other ideas."
>You tap the first symbol.
>You tap the second one.
>He looks up at you.
>"Why Manehattan? And what's the other word."
"Well, in case the griffons have spies. We now refer to these things by their codenames and if they spies, they won't know what the hay we're talking about."
>You just fucking said "hay" instead of "hell."
>You've been here too long.
>You shake your head and continue.
"So, what we need for Manehattan is ponies with that as their cutie mark. Any sort of glowing rock, anything that looks like multiple orbits around a center, and anything that looks like a wave made out of energy."
"For the other, we'll need ponies that have that as the cutie mark, anything that looks like an inverted onion bulb on spider legs, a hairy potato. We'd also
>"Okay. Now what were your other ideas?"
"Now, griffons are on average stronger than ponies, and they can all fly. Only some Earth ponies would be stronger than griffons and only a third of ponies can fly. How is griffon magic?"
>He thinks about it.
>"Not sure. I haven't heard about it, to be honest."
"Fine. We'll assume that unicorns aren't our ace in the hole. We also have the alicorns, so that's good. What about navies, do any of the races have those?"
>He shakes his head and mouths the word slowly.
>"No. What are those? We don't have one, and we would've heard if the griffons do."
>"Oh, well, everypony and uh. Everygriffon has those."
>You shake your head.
"No, Shiny. Warships. Ships that can sink and or neutralize other ships."
>He thinks about it.
>"Nnnno, I don't think so. And you said it yourself, griffons are flyers. I don't think they could sail their way out of a paper bag."
>Evil laughter bubbles from your chest.
"Excellent! So! There were three components in human warfare - air supremacy, naval supremacy, and ground supremacy. And each one makes the other easier."
>He nods slowly.
>"And because the griffons have no ships, we pretty much have naval supremacy."
>Attempting to create nukes and bio weaponry in Equestria
The official projects took years to complete, and that was in the 1900's. Imagine Equestria, a land devoid of all tech and possibly comparable to the BC times, if not at least the 1800's. Just imagine how long it would take for them to even scratch the surface on how both these weapons work.
"Yes. Almost. We'd need it to actually do something. But that's for later. Also, since this is a land of colorful equines, griffons, dragons, and all the rest of the sentients on this place, you all have magic. So we need to establish magical superiority as well. I mean, wouldn't it be terrible if we were winning, and then the griffons slap us with a Wrath of God or something?"
>He looks at you blankly.
>But your head feels like it's on creative fire.
>Visions of pegasi, unicorns, and Earth ponies dance in your head.
"Assuming you're matched-"
>You cut yourself off as the door opens.
>A beige pegasus walks in, with a cutie mark of a red scroll on his flank.
>"Ah, Prince Shining and Mister Anonymous. So good to see the two of you in our archives! What do I owe the pleasure of this visit."
>You wish you were better at reading ponies.
>You're not sure whether this guy is mocking you or not.
>Glancing over at Shiny, you notice that he seems at ease.
>So probably not insulting.
>SA:"Good day to you as well. I'm sure you've heard of what happened over in the north."
>He nods slowly and sadly.
>CR: "Yes. My apologies, Prince Shining Armor, for the loss of your homeland."
>He nods curtly.
>CR: "Though I must ask, how come you're not there, leading the charge? I would think someone with your magic prowess could turn the tide of battle all on his own."
>He gives a forced laugh at that.
>SA: "You do me too much honor. I'm a candle compared to the bonfire of my sister. And besides, the Royal Sisters decided to use the unique talents of the resident human. He'll be doing most of the planning."
>He smiles and nods vehemently.
>CR: "Of course, of course. Magic resistance, height, and excellent stamina should prove to be quite advantageous on the field of battle."
>You smile politely and incline your head at him.
"I'll risk repeating my counterpart - you do me too much honor."
>He laughs politely.
>It's like he and Rarity were separated at birth.
>CR: "Nonsense, nonsense. Now, what can the Census Bureau do for you?"
>Shining Armor launches into an explanation of what you need.
>You would make the joke that Cipher Scroll's face keeps getting longer and longer, but you'd feel bad.
>He is a pony after all.
>Also, Shining Armor is a smart motherfucker.
>He never mentioned what he needed this for, or what your plans are."
>Flickers of doubt flicker through your skull.
>SA: "And we finally we'll defer to your judgment. You see what we need."
>Cipher Scroll frowns, but nods.
>CR: "Yes... this is quite the pickle Equestra is in. I'll get assistants in on this. I assume you want them not to talk and gossip?"
>What a perfect set up."
"Yes. And you'll be held personally responsible if anyone outside of you, the Princesses, Prince Shining Armor and myself... and of course the assistants."
>You lift your mask up and smile.
>You show teeth.
>He backs away slowly.
>CR: "But of course - I understand completely. My lips are sealed. As are that of my employees."
>He winks conspiratorially.
>SA: "Good. Then we are in agreement."
>Cipher Scroll makes shooing motions with his forehooves.
>CR: "Very well then. Out, out, yon beasts of war! I shall send a messenger when this task is complete."
>You and Shining Armor exchange glances again.
"Yyyyyyesss. We'll talk to you later."
>SA: "Yep! See you around, Cipher Scroll."
>SA: "My bad."
>The two of you make your way out of the office.
"You know, I feel I could really use the beer now. Think we can take some back to Command?"
>He whinnies and rears again.
"You know, when my face freaks you out, that's fine and normal. When it's you about to kick me into next week, that's fine."
>He stands back on four hooves and looks a bit hurt.
>"Sorry, got a bit carried away. Anyway. Beer run?"
-END PART I-
So, I need to go do stuff, but I need a slightly longer break.
I agree with you on this one, they don't have the knowledge or industry to support that. However I would I would plan "Intel leaks" to make the Griffons think they do.
Bio weapons have been used in war for centuries, The unicorns could weaponise a plague meant for griffons, have a team of pegasi introduce it to the Griffon homeland (farm towns prefered), while having the Earth ponies work on entrenching the front. Wait for the plague to cause famine or kill them all. Either way the ponies could advance to reclaim their lands as well as cripple the Griffons by taking key locations.
Well, the way I see it, cutie marks (which means that fate itself wants you to do this) and magic (which nullifies the needs for centrifugation and conversion. Plus, alchemy.
Bioweapons are easier. I'm not saying the ponies are gonna have genetic engineering. Pretty much I'll answer stuff. Plus, there's other stuff that Anon is gonna do, that's more conventional.
The basic form of biological warfare consists of putting corpses in a populated area or its water supply. This was not a difficult concept.
Off the top of my head, the first record of biological warfare was from the 6th century BCE; the Assyrians poisoned water supplies with fungus as standard procedure.
I think you need this guy right here.
Yes, I can help your ponies but it will cost you princess. Be prepared to get me what I need after the deed is done and all will go as planed.
We will have peace in these lands, and through power it shall be kept
>Are you...sure of this request?
Celestia looks to Luna, nervously, than back to Anon
>For you have no comprehension, nor understanding of what you just said.
Celestia grew worried. "W-what do you mean Anon?"
>We do not now the ways of war
She, and Luna, and Cadence, and Shining Armor turned confused. Celestia raised her finger to interrogate-
>We know the ways of TOTAL and UTTER STERILIZATION of ALL LIFE AND NON-LIFE
"Celestia, I don't think you understand what must be done. Your precious ponies will be changed by the knowledge I can give them. There will be no going back."
>"We have no other options, Anon." Celestia said solemnly. "Do what you must."
"Adviser won't cut it. I need power and authority. Declare martial law, make me the Military Governor for the duration of the Emergency."
>"M-martial law! What about the civilian government?"
"Here by disbanded til the end of the crisis. There is a DAMN INVASION! I need authority to do what must be done! Homes are going to burn, families broken up, and ponies are going to die! Or would you rather your subject be slaves? You ponies are far to kind for me to let you condemn yourselves like that. This will take war will test all of us, we better not be found wanting."
>It made a stupid kind of sense, really.
>Ponies were herd creatures and they were quadrapeds
>Their non-magical combat naturally grew around tightly formed formations and momentum.
>Two groups charged at each other with sharp sticks, and the side that was more coordinated, had fewer weak spots, won.
>Sure, armor improved and the sticks got sharper, but...
>that was the sum of Equestrian ground tactics.
>jousting and friendship
>It worked well enough on the flat plains of their country but suicidal in the mountainous Griffon homeland.
>In truth, you didn't see any practical way to send troops in force deep within enemy territory
>that was until you remembered...
>ponies do stupid bullshit
I don't think you understand how complicated refinement of uranium is. Ignoring all the machinery, just look at all scientists who died before we learned how to handle radioactive elements. Now imagine that the only pony with the atomic cutie mark dies. You are now without the only person who has the ability to work with elements or whatever.
This is why cutie marks are a curse in disguise. A human can be trained to do anything anytime within reason. A pony has to stick to a picture on its butt.
I don't know what to say, other than I humbly accept my new position. I promise you that I will help make those Griffon's pay for what they've done to our homeland!
All my years of armchair general faggotry have led up to this point!
Praise Jeff Van Dyke !
GLORY BE TO THE MURDRCUBE!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
The specific bottleneck would be centrifuges that could separate out U-235. Also producing uranium hexafluoride gas in the first place.
You simply can't do work that precise with steam age tech.
So... Thread music?
Talvisota, sabaton. The USSR invaded Finland before and during ww2. Finns fought hard, and killed more commies than their casualties. But still lost.
I don't understand what you're saying.
So instead, more /k/ shit.
Oh I get it. I didn't know what you meant by bottleneck.
Yea precise centrifuges are a major problem, you you have other things to deal with as well. Finding uranium deposits, mining it, shipping it and getting it out of the ore form is harder than iron or other metals simply because of the radioactive nature. Not to mention building bombs and such needs high tech equipment too.
Wow I'm too drunk to be writing.
>The princesses seem shocked by your words, Shining seems pissed. "That is insane! The Guard has never-" You cut him off.
"Damn it Shining, do you want my help or not? I am not saying all this for fun. I CAN'T HELP YOU IF YOU WON'T LET ME! We are going to have to start a draft, seize supplies, rig the roads with traps, and a whole mess of thing ponies are going to hate us for."
>"Anon, what is a draft?" Luna asks. "What does alcohol have to do with war?"
"It means every able bodied pony over the age of majority is to conscripted."
>They just have a look about them that shows they don't understand.
"We are going to mandate they join the effort or face legal action, possible charged with treason."
I like this anon, taking more drastic measures to ensure a higher chance of victory, regardless of how unpopular it is.
>Three months later...
>You are in the "War Room", it was really a spare suite you ordered remodeled. Things are not well... while the Guard had managed to hold, the citizens are not happy. When your orders to place the griffon population in Equestria into detainment camps, riots broke out. Well more like food fights. You were going to execute the ringleader til Luna convinced you to have them imprisoned in stone til the war was over. Well on to current matters... Shining is informing you on how the draft is going, while you and Luna are planning strategy and tactics to teach the Guard. Celestia is still sulking, having been really down since you ordered the Guard to take no prisoners. There simply wasn't enough food. Not after you ordered the Princesses to go on strike. The sun has been out for the entire 3 months. You had order all food storage to be handed over, and were having teams set fire to the griffons food supplies.
"No we can fight them head on Luna."
>"Why is that?" She asks annoyed.
"Cause they will just take to the air, we will lose an airbattle. Let them continue to siege our trench lines. We will outlast them."
>And thus we got Total War: Equestria
Only one request. I get to be the master of sieges or a monopoly over the technology and sciences of the empire.
>I'm already breaking out the hair tendrils and Mechadendrite.
>They all give me a worried look.
All of our great weapons will be of my approval.
Now this is only a prototype.
but our enemies will fear this great war machine
Bitch these horses somehow managed to build fucking trains and airships Not to mention there are a few scenes from the show that include Albert Einstien-esque charicter doing a crazy ass math problem Im sure they can manage to make a single atom bomb
Airships aren't hard. I could build a small one with a balloon and a motor.
Trains are comparatively easy compared to an atom bomb - just a boiler powering pistons with an exit valve.
Atom bombs require enriching uranium or plutonium, surrounding it in an inert shielding material, covering it in high explosive material and then transporting it to the drop site safely... All without letting it reach critical mass.
>He thinks building trains and airships are comparable to an atomic bomb in difficulty.
>He thinks maths is the only thing necessary in making an atomic bomb.
You need to be 18 and above to browse 4chan.
Are Diamond Dogs the only group of their kind?
Surely, sleeper changelings traumatized majority of the pony population in Canterlot upon the revelation.
What stops them from doing a do-or-die invasion?
>Gilda was the only one we ever saw
not counting the background ones that never spoke, and she was a dick
>Griffons are most definetly predators, which easily makes them an antagonist nation when it's all about herbivore ponies
>Griffons are the only other nation
I think it was confirmed in that RD episode in cloudsdale with the wonderbolts? if not, it's still plausible as an intelligent race they have their own nation, with the exception of Saddle-arabia or whatever. Changelings would rather work in the shadows than do an up-front war.
The only other possibility would be diamond dogs
>Gilda was the only one we ever saw
True then, but not now.
>Griffons are most definetly predators
They could be omnivorous. The ones we've seen seem to be.
>Griffons are the only other nation I think it was confirmed in that RD episode in cloudsdale with the wonderbolts?
Not that I can find. If anything, I'd argue the opposite. They have their own flag and team at the Equestria Games. They seem to be a part of Equestria, like the Crystal Empire.
>"Will you accept?"
>Of course, you hadn't heard anything after the word invaded.
>Your people knew war. They knew it intimately.
>You find yourself falling into memories of your world.
>Of that beach.
>You can smell the ocean air, feel the cold metal of your seat, the wind blowing harshly.
>You remember all too well.
>The landing craft bounced across the waves, and anticipation raced through your veins.
>Your rifle was heavy in your hands, but still not heavy enough.
>Sergeant Jones was debriefing your craft.
>Your squad was going to make their way to a bunker and clear it.
>"Anon, are you alright?"
>The memory was your reality at this point, and you couldn't answer if you wanted to.
>The sound of bullets hitting the front of the landing craft drowned out what little chatter there was.
>It was time.
>Every soldier in the landing craft was standing, eager to rush out and onto the beach.
>The door popped open.
>And a hailstorm of metal became your world.
>"Anon, what's wrong?"
>Your eyes snap back into focus, and you find yourself in Canterlot once more.
"Peace has failed?"
>Your eyes are drawn out a nearby window. The Equestrian landscape is as beautiful as ever.
>"You know that we would never go to war willingly."
>You wrestle with the feeling in your gut. It's like a lead weight has taken up residence in your intestines.
>It would be so easy to walk away now, let the ponies fight their own battles.
>You glance over towards the small group of Equestrian royalty.
>Celestia's pleading eyes, Luna's cold gaze, Shining Armor's expectant stare, and Cadence's sorrowful face.
>You look back towards Equestria.
>As much as you want, no need, to say no, your conscience won't let you.
>Your training could save countless lives.
>Or take just as many.
"I'll do it. God knows I don't want to, but I'll do it."
>Once more unto the breach.
Saw this thread when I was listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZm4zseMok0
I've never understood the whole "Equestria would lose a war" thing.
>But they have no nukes!
They an terraform. They can manipulate weather, astral bodies, and reality itself. They can teleport, they can travel in time, they can fucking break the barrier of sound. A properly trained unicorn is a living nuke, a engine of destruction capable of readjusting his tactics in mere seconds. They don't need nukes because they ARE nukes.
>But only Twilight has that much magic!
Do you have any idea of how much damage can someone make if he has telekinesis?
Give that someone a nail, and he can pierce your cornea with a through. That's how much.
They can cure the effects of bioweapons with a bubble bath, and said bioweapons grow as a herb. What do you think would happen if 'murica is sprayed with consentrated poison joke?
Everyone in the white house would probably be transformed into literal dicks or assholes.
>But ponies are peauceful and stuff!
When Spike went on a rampage, an alarm sounded and three wonderbolts appeared, indicating than they are on a triggerhair for crap like that. Spike did beat them, but he is a dragon and they could've been scouts.
>But the rest of the world would ally with the humans!
Everyone would attack the raisers of the sun and the moon.
>Other race could attack them!
I MEAN GOD MAN YOU KILL ME
"Hey dude, let's kill the fucking immortal empress that raises the sun that our crops depend on! I am sure nothing could go wrong! I am sure the very embodient of chaos would be fine if we kill his only friends, especially the yellow one!"
Only humans are retarded enough to do that.
>Everyone would ally with the humans
What? No one said that. Did you read the tread or just let your autism flow?
The thread never said the ponies COULDN"T defend themselves. It only implies they are seeking advice. They have everything they need, but that does not mean they know how to properly conduct war.
Equestria wouldn't lose any war, no one said that
The idea of this thread is that they're just pretty clueless on what the fuck to do. They'd win, at best they'd just fuck up a lot at the start.
As for the wonderbolts/spike thing, with giant monsters living in the forest next to you and shit regularly happening, it isn't that surprising.
I'd imagine that snipers would take out the magical powerhouses, and from there it would just be a
cakewalk for us, considering we have more powerful military technology when you discount said magix.
>Having acquired the beer, the two of you make your way back to the Command and Control room, steady on your feet.
>The two of you aren't STUPID.
>You had two beers and that's it.
>Plus some of delicious salted cashews that the castle tavern had.
"I gotta admit Shiny - I really thought there would be a lot more panic at the state of war."
>Shining Armor laughs quietly.
>"Well, the ponies trust the Princesses. I would assume they'll be making an official proclamation soon. Probably when you present a battle plan to them?"
>You gulp nervously.
"Me? But you're the main guy. Stallion."
>"Nope. Technically, the original plan had me as your subordinate. But Cadance, Luna, and I raised a ruckus about it."
>You nod firmly.
"Yeah. This place is still sometimes... you know."
>The two of you walk in silence, hoofsteps and footsteps echoing through the halls of Canterlot Castle.
>Funny, other than his sounding a bit sharper, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
"You think Comet Blaze is back?"
>"Yeah. That was a good idea."
"We're gonna need more runners. Because I realized something else while we were drinking - I want to talk to the Princesses."
>He walks in silence for a bit longer.
>"Even I know this. The last time the Princesses engaged in combat, both of them? One thousand years ago."
"Still... ANYWAY! Marriage! How is that working out for you? Twilight told me you were thrilled."
>He bursts into laughter.
"Nice segue. But yeah, it's great. Cadance is a really sweet mare..."
>The two of you continue your ascent to the Command Room generally chit-chatting about life as a Prince. And sports coach.
>He tries to broach the subject of what you did before you fell out of that portal, but you give non-commital answers.
>While he is your friend, and it's already been 2 years, you're still having problems adapting.
>And you miss people.
>Not anyp- anyone in particular.
>Feeling a bit morose, you walk into the Command and Control room.
Have you ever tried to snipe a objetive that is around half as big as a person and can fly at mach 1?
Ponies are versatility itself. If for any reason there is something their magic, agility, or strenght can't do, there will be at least a few with a butt tattoo for doing that.
>Satelite approaches to the Equestrian solar system
>Celestia throws a solar flare at it
>It gets too close
>Luna hits it with the moon
And I haven't even mentioned Discord yet.
I can't really think of Equestria being that cruel, quite frankly. They would probably prefer to capture key pieces of the government to generate power vacuums and desestabilize their enemies, killing as few as possible.
I know war is ugly, but still.
>You were gone for, what, all of two hours?
>Already this place looks...
>The first thing that catches your eye is the giant map of Equestria.
>Seriously, the thing is like three or four times your height.
>Very detailed too.
>The candelabras and candlesticks somepony put in make the room seem warmer somehow.
>You're not sure whether this a good thing or not.
>In fact, this kind of reminds you of that Dragon Age game.
>Heh, Bioware eat your heart out.
>Anyway, ponies are here too.
>Comet Blaze is standing at attention.
>You quickly check his cutie mark.
>Son of a gun, his cutie mark really is that of a pony saluting.
>But Shiny made the right call in making him your runner.
>At least he's obedient.
>That's another idea...
>"At ease, Lieutenant."
>He does so as you look at the other ponies.
>You've met Bluestaff before.
>Granted, he usually talked down to you, but found you fascinating.
>So you had to endure his questions, because fucking with somepony who is an arch-anything is a bad idea.
>At least he's an archmage and not an archlich.
>You give the blue unicorn a respectful nod anyway.
>He bows to you as well.
>"Congratulations on your... promotion, Anonymous. I find the thought of you using our mages... exhilirating. And Prince... Captain... Shining Armor. Good... to see you."
>Next up is a pegasus you've met before but only briefly, at the less up-scale social gatherings.
>She's pretty much Rainbow Dash-Lite.
>Except more hardworking, more dependable, and less intense about stuff.
>Honestly it was as if RD and Applejack had a foal together.
>She notices you looking, smiles and waves.
>"Hey - Captain Anonymous. We've never been introduced - I'm The Oncoming Storm."
"Uh... pleased to meet you."
>You hear Shining Armor chuckling in the background, but choose to ignore it.
>"And Shiny is here! Hey Shiny!"
>She pushes past you and hoofbumps Shiny.
> "Manehattan Project."
A PMV to set the mood.
Not just any crazy-ass math problem. THE crazy-ass math problem. If you have Lorentz transformations, you have mass/energy equivalence. The reason E=mc^2 is the same reason things get more massive (and time dilates) as you approach the speed of light. Make no mistake, the canonical Equestria really wasn't that far from the bomb.
>"Cut the new foal some slack, Lilac Light - he doesn't have time for your manure."
>She bursts out into laughter, as you shoot Shiny a thankful look.
>You turn to the last pony - the one you've never met.
>A red earth pony with a pair of glasses as his cutie mark.
>OH SON OF A BITCH.
>One lens is circular and red, while the other is rectangular and green.
>Before you start hyperventilating, the pony moves closer to you, and sniffs you.
>"Oh fucking great, the high and mighty Anonymous has summoned me here. What the fuck do you want, dickhole?"
>This is the griffon expert?
>Their version of Spider Jerusalem - whom might I add is not even a real fucking person - is a scholar?
>Not a gentlecolt, that's for sure.
>Luckily you trained for this.
"What the fuck did you say to me you little bitch? I'll have you know-"
>"Cut the shit, I'm a busy colt. What the fuck do you want? I'm burning minutes and drugs just being in the same fucking room with you."
>You didn't even have time to recite the whole copypasta.
>Glancing back at the other ponies, you laugh internally as they stare at the two of you, mouths agape.
>The black Earth pony prods you with a hoof.
>"Well, what is it, fuckstick?"
>Fine, you'll deal with this now.
"Fillies and gentlecolts-"
>"-lend me your ears. I'll take care of the esteemed - what's your name, dickwad?"
>He glowers at you.
>"For you, my name is Twinkletoes."
"Right, Grand High Lord Dickshit, is going to sit down and patiently tell me all we need to know about griffons. He will then be led back to his cell where trained apes are going to fling shit at him until he learns how to behave in proper company."
>You see his facade crack as he fights off a grin.
>"Only trained ape I see here is you, human. What, did you run out of species to make extinct, so you want to take on the griffons? You're gonna lose, and by association, so are we."
>You sit down opposite of him.
>>They don't need nukes because they ARE nukes.
>Only 1 Pegasus has EVER broken the sound barrier
>Only 7 or so ponies have EVER done the tougher magic shit.
No, the number of capable "nukes" is too tiny to do shit to say a human mil, where logistics, tech, tactics, and years of experience win. Almost every mil aircraft can go mach 1 at least and we have thousands of them. We have a gun that 1 man can move, load up and launch a 1 kiloton warhead from 2.5 miles away.
When all those villains attacked, twilight, who's ability is magic, had to go through a gymnastic routine to remove them. Clearly showing there are limitations of magic.
>Thinks poison joke is a bio weapon.
Poison joke is tamer poison ivy. And that's saying something.
THIS is a chemical weapon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88tuv7AN_S8
>When Spike went on a rampage, an alarm sounded and three wonderbolts appeared, indicating than they are on a triggerhair for crap like that. Spike did beat them, but he is a dragon and they couldn't been scouts.
>Showed that their only airborne assault response was weak and incapable of handling a pissed off animal.
This goes against you.
>But the rest of the world would ally with the humans!
No one has said this yet, unless it's a prompt.
I mean it's unfair to compare ponies, a CLEARLY peace loving species, living on a planet that isn't very hostile, under the care of a benevolent goddess. To a inherently violent, predator, living on a planet where anything kills, and the only one watching out for you is yourself. Humans and war go together, ponies aren't even close.
Do you know what FLIR is? Go spend some time on /k/ and just bask in the human capacity for war.
>I don't understand science
>Celestia solar flares, damages the planet in the progress.
>Moon throw, causes floods as tides violently shift.
Math isn't the hard part it's everything else: >>21535689 We had most of the math in the 1800s, but we couldn't have done it then either.
I posted the wrong video, here's the VX vs rabbit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXUeLwAit3Y
I apologize, i've been really bummed out since moot left, and working overtime and not being able to writefag about spanking andfuck ing pones. It hurts more thanyou 'd think.
I just wanted to let flow my autism, i find it calms me.
Not really, internet argument just gives me a reason to drink, despite having work in the morning.
>Man, these stools are very uncomfortable for your glorious human behind.
"Keep talking. Why?"
>He clears his throat.
>"Well, what we have here is me condensing my supreme knowledge of griffons into a couple of short sentences, so pay attention - I don't want to get the chair leg of truth out."
>He begins to pace.
>"So, griffons. Tough little shits. They're fast, they're strong, and they're mobile. And war is all they know. Generally speaking only three outta ten chicks survive to adulthood, because they kill off their weak ones. They are constantly on the move and when they aren't harassing or invading Equestria, they're either infighting or serving as mercs over in Assfuckingstan. They pride themselves on their endurance, aerial maneuvrability, and absolute brutality and general dickishness."
>So basically Mongols.
"Fu- ugh. Dang. Okay. Three questions - who is their leader, what is their attitude towards magic, and how did Equestria win the last time?"
>He gives a snort.
>"What do they teach you in school nowadays? I'll answer them in whatever order I fucking want. So. Magic is shit. They can cloudwalk like pegasi, but they lack weather control-"
>Lilac Light gives a whoop.
>"-SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CELESTIA-DAMNED WHORSE I AM TALKING AND YOU ARE LISTENING."
>He stomps his hoof angrily.
>"Anyway. They lack natural weather control, but they have Weather Wyrd Witches. All-female group of spellcasters who specialize in weather control. Storms, hurricanes, typhoons, that sort of thing. Male griffons with a talent for magic are killed in a messy fashion. Let's see... that's magic, fuck yeah. Equestria. Equestria had a bunch of conflicts with the griffons. We're gonna look at the last two. The most recent one, we did a smart thing. Princess Suh-lestia shoved a whole bunch of bits, gems, and priceless works of art at the dragons. The dragons came in and obliterated the griffon army."
>Note to self, get expert on dragons and a diplomat.
>"The other time, roughly 650 ago, we didn't win. We pretty much paid them off and they left. The fact that the Princess and the freak aren't doing that means that Equestria's coffers are empty - otherwise we wouldn't have this trained fuckstick leading our glorious charge."
>He gives you another mean smirk.
>You return it.
>"Now, leader. They are actually lead by the Thegn. The title roughly translates to "warleader who serves." See, they believe that this Thegn is actually sacrificing personal glory and valor by commanding his troops and as such, he - and it's always a he - gets glory for overall victories. So, in fact, one of their warriors who has a lot of kills is going to be considered more "worthy" by the griffons. The Thegn usually has a retinue of specially trained griffons who specialize in infiltration, sabotage, and assassinations. They particularly like going against the "Thegns" of the peoples they're warring with. So, Anonymous, you'd better watch out - the Sky Spears are aimed at your heart."
>He looks at the gathered assembly - herd - of ponies.
>Shiny thinks about it a moment.
>"Yeah. Who's the current Thegn?"
>"One Ubijtsa the Cruel."
"Okay, fine. Last question from me and you can go back to your skulking - if I wanted to provoke them - like really get them to come after me, my army, my woma-er, mare, and my foals - what would I say?"
>He peers at you suspiciously and then breaks into a smile.
>"I like the way you think. Like a real bastard. Hell, like a griffon. The three things in order of importance - imply that their abilities do not match yours, showing weakness, and insulting their way of life."
>You are in the zone.
>...as it were.
"Well, Twinkletoes, this has been enlightening. There may be a medal in it for you at the end of all of this. We'll whistle you up when we need you."
>He barks a laugh.
>"See you later, human. Piss on their corpses when you're done."
Why develop shit like sarin and VX for poneland? Even the Nazis didn't use sarin, and they invented it.
Seems more practical to develop enhancements to conventional armaments that can be done quickly enough to deploy nearly immediately.
We're gonna need shovels.
>With that, he trots out of the room, as the rest of the ponies follow him with their eyes.
"Well, that was enlightening. And I know how we're going to win. I just need to iron out some details. Please, everpony - have a seat."
>Archmage Bluestaff levitates the chairs to the table.
"Our recent visitor didn't take up too much time. Now then, I'm not gonna talk strategy yet. I'm just gonna assess our strengths."
>You turn to Lilac Light and fix her with a stare through your mask.
"Now, Lilac Light - how high can pegasi fly?"
>She thinks about this for a moment.
"Uhh. Well, generally speaking a mile or two at most. The higher you get the colder it gets and the air gets hard to breathe."
>You steeple your hands.
"Not good enough, I'm afraid. The griffons have better endurance apparently. What's the historical record, and who is the highest altitude flyer that we have?"
>"Easy answer. World record is Stratos Fear. Granted, he lost consciousness when he was coming down - but he recovered mid-descent and landed. His record was shy of six miles. Five-point-eight or something like that."
>She taps her hoof on the table.
>"The current record holder is contested. Surprise is the highest flyer in the Wonderbolts, however, there's an up-and-coming pony. Name's Rainbow Dash. Supposedly she broke Surprise's personal record of four-point-two miles."
>She grins sheepishly.
"Damn. And with proper training, how many pegasi can match that?"
>"The Wonderbolts can. Rainbow Dash is a talent, but these guys are professionals. Plus, they might be more up your alley - they were founded by ex-military, way back when."
"Prince-Captain Shining Armor, do you have anything to add?"
>He shakes his head.
>"Nope. You're keeping me in the dark as much as the next pony."
"Yes, for good reasons. For now."
>You look at Bluestaff.
"Archmage, now for you - it looks like Equestria has the griffons beaten in the magical aspect. This is good. However, I need to know what exactly the mages can bring to the table?"
>He gives a polite chuckle.
>"Why, Mister Anonymous. What don't we? We are truly craftsponies. Any unicorn is a master of his or her craft. And the Mages guild is for those unicorns who go beyond the call of their cutie mark, who wish to expand the study, lore, and science-"
"Archmage please. With the utmost respect, you're not selling us something. What you're saying is that you have at your disposal roughly 200 Princess Twilight Sparkles."
>Almost wistfully, he shakes his head.
>"Alas, if only. No, Princess Twilight Sparkle is one of a kind."
>"Probably why she became a Princess."
>"Actually, Archmage, it's because she learned the power of friendship. Not due to her magical talent. Otherwise, Star Swirl would've finished his own dang book."
>Shiny sticking up for his lil' sis.
>Even though she probably outclasses him now.
>Actually Shiny brings up a good point.
>You wonder if it's possible to weaponize the power of friendship, considering the Elements of Harmony have been returned.
"Gentlecolts, please. This is a chamber of war, so please, no fighting."
>The two of them settle down.
"Now, I'm going to throw a whole bunch of ideas at you. Most of them are going to be stupid, because I do not understand magic, considering I'm a walking nullifier. So, please be patient with me."
>Bluestaff reaches out a hoof and pats you on the hand.
>"That's fine, Captain. Please go on."
"So. First question - can you enchant a bunch of pegasi for greater physical capabilities?"
>He thinks about it for a moment.
"Yes. There would be some logistical difficulties, but yes."
"Okay. Spells that can vaporize cities?"
>His eyes widen.
"N-no, Captain Anonymous. We don't really study combat spells. And one on -that- scale? Impossible."
"Okay. This is a two-fer. Finding certain minerals and blocking out some forms of energy, while letting others pass?
>You grin maniacally.
"Exceeeellent. Next question - bring the dead back to-"
"-not true resurrection-"
>That was Shiny.
"-more like a mindless drone capable only of-"
>"Oh for the Diarch's sake Captain, take a hint."
"Can't, or won't?"
>You drum your fingers on the table in agitation.
"Fine. Okay. Taking the traits of one animal and combining it with another animal?"
>Bluestaff coughs, Lilac Light looks a bit grossed out, and Shiny looks a bit confused.
>"Can we? Yes. Will we? Most likely not."
"You misunderstand me. We're at war. I'm not saying make airborne squid who breathe fire. This goes back to the question about pegasi."
>You stand up and look at the war table.
"Humans are -very- enduring. My ancestors would hunt - yes, I apologize for the gory details - by basically outlasting our prey. They would run and we'd follow. For days. Eventually they'd tire out. And we wouldn't."
>There it is again.
>The slight trembling of the flanks.
>You wish you were better at reading pony moods.
>Or just a better sense of scent.
>You sit back down.
>Remarkably, that seemed to have done the trick.
"So, final battery of questions - communication over vast distances, seeing things at a location far away, and teleportation?"
>Bluestaff seems shaken out of his horseshoes, but he still answers.
>"Ah. Yes, yes, no, with caveats. We can communicate over distances, but it requires two ponies with either the same cutie mark or a very similar one, who both happen to be unicorns-"
>He catches himself.
>"-or ponies that have long-distance communication as their special talent, of course. Now, seeing things far away - yes. But we need magical paraphernalia. Crystal balls, enchanted pools, magic mirrors - that sort of thing."
>"Only three ponies that are currently alive that are capable of it. Two of them are the Royal Sisters. Princess Twilight Sparkle learned to teleport before she ascended to Princesshood. We're currently trying to replicate it. So no."
>You take some time to process all this.
>Okay, so you might have long-range communication and views of the battlefield.
>Too bad no rapid troop deployment.
>But it looks like the Manehattan and Detrick projects are going to be a reality.
"Okay, fillies and gentlecolts. I thank you for your time. The first meeting of the War Council is over. Equestria thanks you."
>You stand up, and the ponies follow suit.
>Shiny nods at you.
>Comet Blaze stand at attention, hoofing a salute.
>Lilac Light snaps one off as well, trots over to the window, and flies out.
>Bluestaff nods at you.
>"Captain Anonymous, I urge you - do not underestimate your foe. Pony lives are at stake. Don't expect all your plans to fall into place."
>You smile at him.
"Archmage, we had a lot of military leaders back home. We also had people who wrote about them. One of them particularly said something to the tune of "Wheels within wheels." I assure you, the griffons won't know what hit them."
>You sort that sentence out mentally.
"Uh, actually, no. I'll make sure they'll know it was me. On that note - Archmage, how good are you at defensive magics and wards?"
>He seems a bit taken aback.
>"Well, before I became Archmage, I was the Head Abjurer at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Why?"
>You lean over to him and whisper something into his ear.
>His eyes widen and he lets out a laugh.
>"Easier done than said."
>His horn glows with an azure color, and you feel your mask eneveloped by his magic, which fades in seconds.
"It is done."
>With that he takes another bow and leaves.
>You sit back down.
"I gotta admit Shiny, I don't know how you deal with ponies. I'm sweating."
>He wrinkles his muzzle.
>"Yeah bruh - you are."
>You sputter momentarily.
>Shining Armor takes this opportunity to dismiss Comet Blaze.
"Wait just a moment, Lieutenant!"
>He stops, does a one-eighty, and faces you?
>"SAH Captain SAH!"
"At ease, but please wait a moment."
>You walk over to a restocked cabinet and obtain writing supplies.
>Scribbling some stuff down, you look for something that could serve as your signet ring.
>Then it hits you.
>Something nopony else has.
>You finish writing your letter, drip as much wax on it as you can, and press down with your bare hand.
>It burns a little, but it's a good pain.
>You hand it to him, who takes it, and shoves it in the crook of his wing.
"Please deliver that to the Royal Sisters."
>His eyes widen.
>"Sir? Er, Captain I mean. I've never - I-"
>Shiny puts a hoof around him.
>"Ease up El-Tee. Just go over to the seneschal, tell him that you're on behalf of Prince Captain Shining Armor and Captain Shining Armor. He'll do the rest."
>"SAH, understood, SAH! Letter to Ponyville has been sent, SAH!"
"Excellent! Now, DIS-MISSED!"
>He nods, fires off another salute and runs off.
>Shiny and you watch him leave, hoofbeats growing fainter and fainter.
>Shining Armor sits down opposite of you.
>"So. Want to tell me what your plan is?"
>Instead of answering him, you start writing another letter.
"Well... kinda. First things first - I'm gonna make you not a target."
>He stomps his hoof angrily.
>"Why, Anon?! I'm a grown stallion, I can take care of myself. Plus I'm a specialist in defensive magic - I could've cast a better ward than Bluestaff!"
"I know that. You know that. Bluestaff knows that. ALL the Princesses know that. As do most of the staff, servants, courtiers, soldiers, and so on and so forth."
"And so do the griffons."
>His face would grow longer if it was possible.
>You sign your name with a flourish, and do the same thing - dribble wax and handprint.
>Different hand this time.
>"But what they don't know, is you, Anon. So, you're gonna dangle yourself as bait. With insults. That's why you asked Bluestaff about it. Nice!"
"Yes. The next time I'm gonna use this trick, is when I attempt to gather their army in one place."
>"And what then?"
"Boom. I want you in my room."
>He takes a step back.
>"Uh, Anon, I'm a marrie-"
"Of all the things you have that are similar to my world?! And you don't have the Vengaboys. Er. Vengafoals."
>He shakes his head slowly.
>You bet you can read his mind.
>Oh no, I am in a room alone with somepony crazy.
>Like a fox.
"ANYWAY! Point is, I wasn't hitting on you, bruh. I was making a reference."
>"Uh-huuuh. Okay. You're a very strange individual Anon."
>You snort quietly.
"Okay. I'm off to the aviary. We'll reconvene at 0900?"
>He nods and smiles.
>"I'll tell Cadance you said "Hi," Anon."
>You fish in your pocket for spaghetti, but surprinsgly don't find any.
"Actually. Yes, tell Princess Cadance that she is welcome to come along with the Royal Sisters - and could you send a letter to Twilight? Actually, wait up."
>You scribble a letter.
>Not too awkward.
"And I guess the rest of the Elements."
>You add a post-scriptum.
"I hope the Princesses are okay with me inviting ponies over."
>He chuckles and pats you on the shoulder.
>His hoof is surprisingly soft.
>"Relax Anon. You can. And by the way, I think you're doing a good job."
>You exhale loudly.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence. So, you'll send the letter?"
>You feel your heart flutter a bit.
"Cool. See you tomorrow."
>"No sweat. See you later."
>He starts walking out.
>"You gonna go back to your quarters?"
>You shake your head.
"Nah. I'm gonna make some sense of these maps. Don't worry, I'll get plenty of sleep, MOM."
>He barks a laugh and leaves.
>You stand up, pop your back, and walk over to the couch, and throw yourself on it.
>This is working well.
>You've just been made responsible for the lives of thousands upon thousands of ponies living in Equestria.
>Including those of the Princesses.
>And the Elements of Harmony.
>And Twilight Sparkle.
>And you're fighting basically the Mongols.
>Who were, for the most part, undefeated.
>You take a deep breath.
>You take another deep breath.
>Why are you so short of breath.
>You take another breath.
>Fuck it's not enough!
>You start to pull at your mask.
>Why is it so hard to pull off!
>You gasp and gasp but can't seem to get enough oxygen.
>WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING THIS MASK?!
>You fall off the couch.
>The lights seem to get a bit brighter then they start fading away.
-END PART II-
Give them the B- Adolf Hitler
Fun fact: Nazis originally just shot the Jews and put them into mass graves, but this caused the people doing it to kill them selves or go insane. So that's why the gas chambers where built, to lessen the psychological effect on their own soldiers and officers.
The thing is, chemical weapons are ineffective for war, at least to humans. A rain suit a mask and some duct tape and you're immune to chem weapons, they are only useful for killing indiscriminately, that's why Saddam and Assad used it. Also chem weapons are area denial weapons, you may keep an enemy from moving, but you can't move either. Also wind effects chem flow. The only time a chem weapon can be useful is if you mix it into water supply or something, but even then it means you cant use that supply either and it's gonna flow.
TL;DR unless you wanna kill civvies, more than troops. Or have extreme targeting abilities, chemical weapons are more strategic than tactical.
>Also wind effects chem flow.
This and other things. They're vastly susceptible to contingency and random effects. They'd be good for mass casualties in enclosed places like subways (Google Aum Shinrikyo if you don't know what I mean).
They're basically weapons for terrorists, who want chaos. Militaries usually have to deal with enough chaos as it is. They want things they can control.
That and the fact they're evil as fuck and that's why even people like Nazis never used the worst kinds of chemical weapons.
That further showed how ineffective chemical weapons are. In the PERFECT condition for a chemical attack, granted carried out by a bunch of idiot lunatics, it only killed 7.
Hitler didn't like the idea of using chemical weapons at all, he was the survivor of a chemical attack in ww1.
That said, in EQ chemical weapons might just be really great. Think about it, ponies don't wear clothing, so they are easy targets for VX entering the skin and in to blood. They have no idea that the chemicals are there until it's too late, it would be scary as fuck to see their people die such a horrible death, and it would be cheap. Also, VX on crops, and if they start eating grass and such, VX all food sources.
Again this would mean your army can't move around without equipment, but maybe the massive psychological effect on a peaceful species would be enough to cause a surrender.
>In the PERFECT condition for a chemical attack, granted carried out by a bunch of idiot lunatics, it only killed 7.
It wasn't perfect gas. They'd destroyed the previous high purity product in a panic over nearly getting caught, and the batch they actually used was a rush job.
The nearly 1,000 casualties that did occur would have been fatalities if they had used sarin of purity like that they had previously manufactured.
Anyway, terror doesn't rely on body count but on spreading fear, but body count helps.
I didn't know that.
But still, a military wouldn't find it that useful.
Agreed. Bio is pretty similar. Rarely useful and can backfire. Most of the "successful" uses were things like catapulting in plague infected corpses, usually because your own troops were already dying like flies from it.
(Or shit like smallpox where you had guys who had already had it so it hurt the other side more than you. Hi Injuns!)
Well that was unintentional, the people coming over from Europe just happened to be carrying it, but immune or resistant. Spreading it to the Indians wasn't hard.
On the subject of human X pone war, why would we even do that?
Of course I do, your highness...
Hm. regarding the situation here's some advices:
The Griffon Imperium has grown and expanded and created alliances at a point this little nation on its fucking island has dominated the seas and most of the north. We must remain certain that the conflict does not comes to the Equestrian mainland for the following reasons :
- Our military effectives are small
- Our equipments are outdated, fighters, tanks, missiles would make it to defend a country that large.
- Even the Licornia has a better defense and could kick our arse if they wanted.
- Our generals still think they will win a battle like they did centuries ago.
- We don't really have any alliance, in fact we have more enemies than allies.
- Ponyland was the first to surrender, welcome the Griffons and Germaneigh is the only country in the region to stand.
in fact we are not getting invaded because so far, Griffons like our country as is, but if there's someone to blame, it remains the Crystal Empire. They started this shit and since we are their allies, we are de facto involved in this conflict.
to unite humanity, we demonize them, make them a danger to humanities existence, an escape goat if you will to unite humanity against this clear and present threat to our very existence and finally stand all behind one flag as one group of people instead of the 190~, nations the world holds now, for as long as we can before moving onto the next one
Well I have a plan that will make you even harder. still in my arc with OP's story.
let's admit it we won't make it in a conflict with the griffons, now they are established worldwide.
Look at the situation: many of these countries surrendered or decided to ally with the Griffon Kingdom somehow. they were shit anyways but now they are invading us, hopefully there's the Everfree forest right there so they won't pass.
Orange - the Griffon Imperium
Purple - us, our alliees
Gray - they don't give a fuck but don't want to get invaded.
Green - neutral or out of this shit.
The commies so far are not involved in any conflict with the Griffon Kingdom.
They hate us even more than the Griffons, so they are not engaging in the war.
The Griffon will be defeated if they enter in conflict with Industria, or any of the red block country, and they make sure it is not happening.
WHY, Celestia, haven't we performed a higly secret, horrible and bloody false flag attack yet against Industria or one of these countries, to ensure they nuke the shit out of the Griffons? Let's focus on doing this, like if the Griffons will launch a surprise attack against the reds, and the Reds will get rid of them for us, Celestia will just have to be like "Ha we told you!"
If we get caught, if we fuck up, these commies will ally against us with the Griffons and we will be even more fucked.
It needs of course to be horrible and credible enough. What should it be like? nukes?
Jews can be scapegoated, because they have historical properties i will not get into.
Religion can be scapegoated, because again properties.
The rich can be scapegoated, also because history.
But how do you scapegoat, nice fluffy little ponies, who have problems hurting a fly? Like literally, if those parasprites met humans, raid would become a military contractor. I bet if dragons existed in our world, humans would find a way to hunt them. Like we hunted mammoths scaring them into a swamp or trap that caused them to be stuck, then just stuck spears into it over and over.
I've been working on a greentext of similar properties, but anon is an average soldier, who gets moved around.
Thank Horse Jesus I brought a copy of The Art of War with me when I came through your little portal.
Sure, I can advise General Prince Shining Armor. But I want a dress uniform. A nice one.
"Uhm...Sure, your Highnesses. Can I ask what your stance on Warcrimes are?"
> I don't understand the question, Anon...
"....and how badly do you want to win?"
> It is imperative, Anon!
"...Okay. Can I get something in writing to make sure you don't murder me or imprison me forever first?"
And that's how Anon introduced the Ponies to the concept of the Nuremberg Laws!
I think than there is something you are forgeting. That everyone who touches this theme forgets.
We took so much time to reach nuclear development because we are omnivores, and as such our history is war riden. There isn't a single century on our five thousand years or so of history where we haven't started some war or another.
Ponies are herbivores, and their society is based on love and comprehension. Their technology will easily advance ten times as fast as ours because they have had like three wars total. I mean, Sombra, the "fight against the shadows" they reference in a Celestia comic, the three tribes war and that's it. They don't bitch about muh sins, they get shit done.
uh you got it all wrong mate since the ponies are a "peace loving kind" as you say then that means their tecnology will advance AT LEAST 10 times slower than ours since the level of technology we got in this age is all thanks to war never mind the fact that we have hands and they have hooves
School House Rock, while doing good with science and math, has some really iffy parts to it. To be specific, "No More Kings" and "Elbow Room" paint very biased views of history and historical figures by omitting specific info.
My favorite is "Electricity".
This is either b8 or you're a complete retard. Necessity is the mother of invention, if you don't have a need, you won't invent shit. It's simple logic.
A peaceful and very pampered species is not going to invent shit, a simple thing like a shaduf which is just a bucket on the end of a lever to help pour water on plants, won't exist if the land is fertile and doesn't need to be watered.
And war is just the ultimate driver of mankind.
>TFW have access to /k/
I am beyond ready.
>tfw i have acccess to /mlp/ archives
the gryphons should just pray...
If you have a few kilograms of U235, you can make a basic dirty bomb with a shotgun and a basic trigger mechanism.
Basically. You fire a slug of U235 at a larger chunk and reach critical mass.
Now, to do a proper, controlled chain reaction you gotta keep a lot of variables in check. But if you want a big explosion that gets radiation all over the place you basically just slam 2 rocks together super fast.
>Basically. You fire a slug of U235 at a larger chunk and reach critical mass.
>Now, to do a proper, controlled chain reaction you gotta keep a lot of variables in check. But if you want a big explosion that gets radiation all over the place you basically just slam 2 rocks together super fast.
>If you have a few kilograms of U235, you can make a basic dirty bomb with a shotgun and a basic trigger mechanism.
This is not in anyway effective enough to be considered a nuke, it is too small in scale, too simple in design and suicide. Sure you can wiki gun type nuclear devices and the CONCEPT is simple. But putting it into practice is very difficult to do, and also a little something known as classified, meaning we can't exactly pull up every spec of little boy.
>summon the Q-tinum
>discord anal raped
>ponies sentenced to 6 guadrillion years of human service
It isn't that difficult to just throw shit out there, and I haven't even brought in Goku or Doctor Manhattan yet.
Technology is not all about killing stuff.
Ponies can teleport. Do you know how complex teleportation is? The only characters we see doing that are either terribly old superbeings or Twilight, who spent all her life studying magic theory.
We would be above them in weapons, but not much else. Rainbow broke her wing, and they repaired broken bone in like a week in a small city hospital. Their specialisation is in support and defense, but even on that they are way, way ahead of us.
Take hidrogen for example. On history, motors using as fuel where invented, what, five times? before the general population knew about them, because the inventors kept dying mysteriously thanks to oil companies. Their general society is much more efficient than ours.
I mean, we spent like two thousand years in basically the same technological level thanks to the church.
>Lives in a planet with dragons that can kill an entire country by sleeping near it.
>And war is just the ultimate driver of mankind.
Just because we are territorial fucks.
We can't pull up specs of little boy but achieving partial nuclear fission is trivial. The average college physics student could assemble one given the right materials.
It is effective enough to be considered a nuke. If nuclear fission occurs, it's a nuke. Plain and simple.
We got this, just write the check to... OUTER HEAVEN!
That's not an invention more like learning a law of the universe, there doesn't seem to be a machine that can do it, just "special" people.
That ability goes to the organism it'self, not the process to repair. Even with the most advanced medicine some animals just CANT fix a broken bone, while humans it takes about 3 months of just not moving too much.
Even with modern tech, hydrogen power has the problem of needing more power to separate H2 and 0 than energy given back by burning them. It's simple physics, more energy to take apart a stable compound that put it back together. Nothing to do with oil companies.
>>Lives in a planet with dragons that can kill an entire country by sleeping near it.
And the fact that it took a group of young women and no serious response clearly showed it wasn't that big of a risk.
>two thousand years in basically the same technological level thanks to the church.
That's false, there's a pasta explaining how no historian refers to the dark ages as the dark ages.
Human growth is exponential, it started out slow, and gets faster with time. We went to the moon in 1 generation of inventing powered flight.
ponies are clearly still living in early 1800s, so their tech isn't anywhere near our level, its simply because they have no reason to get better.
Why would you want to invent an engine without the need to? Even if you did, why would someone invest in it , when it's not really needed? We invented the engine and saw no need in it, until someone figured out you can power machinery with it, and then the industrial revolution happened, mostly because of imperialism and a need to built weapons faster.
This has nothing to do with the inventor dieing, it's just was harder to get information around, and since ponies are still using letter and books, they still have the same problem we did.
No, the little boy had a conventional explosive firing a pill of 235 into a ring of 235, the least efficient method.
The airplane was just a delivery method.
You have to be over 18 to be here.
>The average college physics student could assemble one given the right materials
Then explain to me why 1: a student has not done it yet 2: why countries have multi-billion dollar programs to figure this shit out.
Unless by >Proper materials
You mean they are given everything, and just have to assemble it, Ikea style. Which is stupid, since it's those components that take years to figure out.
>It is effective enough to be considered a nuke. If nuclear fission occurs, it's a nuke. Plain and simple.
Natural fission happens all the time, doesn't mean it's a nuke. A nuke is weaponised and effective enough to be used as a weapon. Anything you make with a 235 slug is not going to be effective enough to be a nuke.
>You will never be blinded by the light next to your wiafu.
>You two will never watch the mushroom cloud form as your eyes acclimate to the conditions.
>You will never look at each other, shaded by the bright light.
>You will never passionately kiss in the warm glow of radiation.
>Your enemies will never face the horror of human destruction, as the two of you make love on a balcony while the nuclear blast cools down, falling asleep in the dark shadow of radio active ash.
It hurts anon.
>You mean they are given everything, and just have to assemble it, Ikea style. Which is stupid, since it's those components that take years to figure out.
This. The primary impediment to building a crude, Little Boy type device is actually getting a critical mass (you need more than a critical mass actually because the method is so inefficient).
This involves first extracting uranium from ore. The whole process, from mining uranium to extracting the metal, is highly dangerous and exposes everyone involved to hazards.
But that's probably within 19th century technology.
The tough part is extracting a specific isotope, U-235, when it is infinitesimally different in weight to the rest of it (mostly U-238) and comprises only .7% of it.
That's done by converting the uranium to uranium hexafluoride gas, itself highly corrosive and toxic, and spinning it in giant, incredibly sensitive centrifuges to get out the very, very slightly lighter U-235.
Then it's converted back to pure U-235. Only then do you have what you actually need. The difficulty of that step is why it's questionable whether North Korea, for instance, actually has effective nukes.
And it's why even a crash program to develop them would be years from success in Equestria, at least using technological means.
Considering that's the only step really stopping them, though, if they could magically extract U-235 from U-238, they probably have the technology to do the rest.
I don't think they would, though.
Consider this war won.
>That story about a guardsman conquering equestria with a trench
>"General, they've breached the outer perimeter! Orders?!"
>Shit fuck shit fuck shit.
>Okay, you can still salvage this.
>You look at Comet Blaze.
"Have the pegasi fall back! Tell Bluestaff to have his ponies provide some cover."
>You whirl around to face Twilight - who looks very concerned.
>"Anon, we're losing."
>You grit your teeth.
>Your mask was torn to shred days ago.
>Fucking griffon assassins.
>"We're not? They're past the Sky Trenches."
>She moves up closer to you and pokes you with her hoof - hard.
>"Anon, my brother is out there! If he doesn't make it back alive..."
>Her wings go limp and she leans against you.
>"Please, Anon. Just make sure he's fine."
"Okay, correction. Pull back the Royal Guard back to the palace - we need to protect the Princesses."
>And the ragtag remains of your army.
"Get Commander Shining Armor in here."
>You look at the ponies inside the Command and Control room.
>You lock eyes with 8 pairs of coldy seething eyes.
>And a pair of worried and concerned ones.
>You look at Twilight and Celestia.
"Your majesties, the situation is not un-salvageable-"
>"You said that when they took Baltimare."
>With a gesture of her wing Princess Celestia silences the Bearers of Harmony.
>"General Anonymous. You will reveal your plans to us immediately. You have squandered the trust we have placed in you."
>You slam your fist down on the table.
"Your majesty I did my-"
>"Which wasn't good enough. Had you been open with us from the start, maybe we would've told you why your strategies did not work."
>She gestures with a hoof towards the window.
>"And now my little ponies are being killed and eaten."
"Fine. Okay. It's still salvageable. We had a strategist back on Earth, uhhhh, Kutuzov. When his country was invaded, he let the enemy take the capital, but moved his army. He then torched it. The army was demoralized and took a lot of casualties."
>>"And now my little ponies are being killed and eaten."
That's a bit fucking extreme.
>You take a deep breath.
"And then he kept pulling them in deeper and deeper, killing the other guy by letting him lose his troops by attrition."
>You turn your attention to Comet Blaze, who just returned.
>The poor stallion is covered in blood.
>Luckily, Shining Armor is there with her.
>He gives you a long hard stare.
>You choose to ignore it.
>You've said all you could do one another.
"Okay, Comet. One last thing. Pull ALL our forces back to the castle."
>Your hear Shining Armor growl a bit.
"Try to stress that this isn't a retreat, but tactical repositioning."
>He fires off a salute and jolts out.
"Now, as I was saying - your majesties, how many ponies can you evacuate at once?"
>celestia exchanges a glance with Twilight.
>"Not many, we're afraid. If we stretch ourselves, no more than three."
>"And I've never done more than a pony and a baby dragon."
>You rub your eyes.
>Okay, plan B.
>Well, technically not plan B - more like plan W, but y'know.
>Other than the dead.
"Fine. Okay. You'll have to do decoys. Commander Shining Armor, once the decoys of the Princesses are released, you'll have to concentrate your forces and punch your way out.
>"Since we're mixed units, we'll have to hoof it."
>He goes over to his personal aide and starts giving out orders, as more troop leaders start coming in.
>You go up to Twilight.
"I need you to 'port me over to Project Manehattan. I'll tell them to evacuate with the rest of you."
>She kicks her hoof nervously.
>"Fine. What is your plan?"
>Her horn begins to glow.
"You escape. I stay behind."
>In a flash of light, you appear deep in the Crystal Caves beneath Canterlot.
>Nuclear Winter jumps away from you.
>You notice his assistants are scurrying around the lab, gathering papers and reports.
"Winter, you're outta here. Princess Twilight Sparkle will teleport you back to the Control Room. There you will report to Commander Shining Armor. He'll tell you where to go."
>He starts to speak up, but you hold a finger to his muzzle.
"Don't argue. I'll need the Horseshoe detonator."
>He gulps nervously, but floats the small clay cylinder to you.
>You snatch it out of the air, shove it into your back pocket, and nod at Twilight.
>With a <bamf!> Nuclear Winter, then Death Rose, and Blind Guardian disappear in flashes of light.
>You point at the giant horseshoe.
"Can you teleport that upstairs as well? I'll need it."
>"Anon, what did you mean when you said you'll stay behind?"
"Okay, Twilight - ever hear the expression that old sea captains sometimes say? Going down with your ship? I plan on doing that."
>She looks at you silently.
"I don't have a choice. Their commander will come down into CommCon. His top brass will be there with him. Then I activate Horseshoe."
>You shiver involuntarily.
"And then they burn. I burn. You, the rest of the Bearers, the Princesses and what's left of the Equestrian Armed Forces remain."
>She looks at you silently for a bit more.
>Then she nods and her eyes begin to glow white.
>She unfurls her wings and her horn turns incandescent.
>Horseshoe starts to glow a little bit, floats up in the air, and is 'ported out.
>She sighs wearily.
>"I added something extra to it."
>Your heart soars.
>"It wasn't an exclusion field. We can't target you specifically and making the exclusion too big would risk leaving some of them behind. No, I just enhanced it a bit more."
>She looks up at the twinkling ceiling of the Crystal Caves.
>"To think Canterlot was just sitting on a giant uranium deposit. No wonder Princess Cadance looked so haggard."
>She shakes her head and fixes you with a stare.
>"You know, it could've happened between us?"
>Your eyes bulge out and you just stare at her.
>Since when does Twilight Sparkle, nerd extraordinaire...
>Wait, no, dammit, focus.
"Princess Twilight, please, I need you to evacuate ASAP."
>Her voice drops into a flat monotone, which echoes through the cave.
>No wonder Princess Cadance looked so haggard.
>"Since you weren't so good on picking up social cues, I was just going to ask you when all this blew over."
>She gesture with her wing at the remnants of Project Manehattan.
>"And then you showed us what it did. How many griffons it killed!"
>Her voice is getting louder and louder.
>"And then you ordered it dropped on the Grand Roost?! With all their CHILDREN?! WHAT THE BUCK WERE YOU THINKING?"
>"But nothing, Anonymous. You're a monster. It's a shame it took me so long to see that."
>She hangs her head and her mane falls down over her eyes.
>You reach with your hand to adjust it.
>She takes a step back.
>You see two small drops land by her forelegs.
>They glitter in the natural glow of the uranium deposits.
"I didn't mea-"
>There's a flash of light and you reappear up in CommCon.
>Seconds later, Twilight appears next to you.
>Her eyes are puffy.
>Princess Celestia arches a delicate eyebrow at her, but remains silent.
>"Let's go, Celestia. Anonymous is staying behind."
>You notice that most of the ponies are gone.
>Shining Armor is still there giving Princess Cadance a passionate deep kiss.
>"Well get through this, Heartflanks."
>She giggles, spots you looking, and stares daggers at you.
>With her head held high, she walks out.
>Shining Armor comes up to you.
>For a moment you lock gazes with him.
>Then he sighs loudly, nods, salutes, and holds out his hoof.
>You slowly reach out with your fist and bump it.
>He gives you a small smile.
>"Give them Tartarus, Anon."
>Tears well up in your eyes.
"You got it, Shiny."
>He clears out of the room.
>You slowly walk up to the window.
>Bolts of green and red energy smash into the white-and-gold towers of Canterlot.
>You see a huge chunk of Royal Historian Society fall to the ground and smash a group of black-clad figures into thin red paste.
"Here's to hoping Twinkletoes - heh - got out alive."
>You move away from the window, walk up to the minibar, and pour yourself some cider.
>AJ was nice enough to share some of her personal stash with you.
>Before you let everypony down.
>You look down at the after-action reports, but can't focus on them.
>They don't matter now.
>You fish the detonator out of your pocket, click it, and place it on the table.
>There. Now one more click and then the whole place goes boom.
>Boom boom boom.
>I want you in my room.
>Did Twilight really-
>You can't think about it.
>You had your chance and you blew it.
"Hah hah hah heh heh heh heh haaaah!"
>You pull your mask off and place it to next to the detonator.
>Not like they'll be scared of your ugly mug anyway.
>You take a swig of the cider.
>It would be a fucking shame if it all went to waste.
"Cheers, AJ, you crazy horse."
>You take out 6 more bottles, hesitate for a moment, place them in a circle on the war table, and pop them open.
>It's like the Bearers of Harmony-
>Your ex-friends never left.
>They just had to go somewhere for a bit, but then they'll come back, and finish drinking cider, and telling each other scary stories, and you'll tell them about how Earth is a wonderful place where nobody has to die, and nobody goes hungry, and where the rest of the humans are really nice, and yet, how Equestria is still a better place.
>You take another swig of the cider.
>In retrospect, maybe you shouldn't have corroborated the stories that human were warlike.
>Maybe they would have used conventional methods of warfare.
>Instead of a scared guy who was afraid to lose his second home, so he came up with insanely destructive, and destructively insane plans.
>Or, hell, even diplomacy.
>Why didn't the dragons respond?
>You take another hit of the cider.
>Then again, you couldn't blame yourself for everything.
>Who knew that a third party was going to bust in and utterly smash both armies?
>Suddenly you hear the sound of jackboots coming up the stairs.
>Ah, that would be them.
This story got dark real fuckin fast.
I didn't come here for this!
Including rat piece of autistic shit "Alagaesia" from those crappy ass "Inheritance" books in this map proves the artist a resounding retard
That begs the question, how come no body ever talked about making automatic weapons. All I hear is nuke nuke and some bio weapons, no guns no even weaponizing the ever free forest.
>You stand up, face the doorway, and grab the detonator off the table.
>Hopefully they don't have snipers or something.
>You hold your thumb over the final button.
>The figures move swiftly, as two of them move in, pointing their guns at you.
>Two more take up firing positions, then a fifth one walks inside.
>He holds up a hand, looking in your general direction.
>You smile slowly at him.
>His palm is facing towards you.
>Fist means hold fire.
>Sideways chop right to left means open fire.
>If he moves his hand to the right, you click it.
>He says something, but it's muffled by his stupid faceless helmet.
>He repeats it louder.
>His arm is starting to waver a little bit in the air.
"I do not understad you."
>You watch his hand closely.
"I am Anonymous of Eques- of Earth."
>His hand jerks.
>You press the button.
>There was a terribly ghastly silence.
>There was a terribly ghastly noise.
Twas just the theme of the thread I suppose.
There have been others where Anon wins for the ponies throuhg military tactic, guns, bombs, but never nukes.
So you know, something new.
But nope, now we get a story that suddenly cuts to a depressing end of Anon's life out of fucking nowhere. IMO it would have been much better to have more than just a day of buildup.
Well i guess there's magnitude, to make a gun effective it needs to be able to arm all the military and maybe EQ doesn't have the factory base to produce all that.
But 1 nuke can do what a thousand soldiers can, so maybe it's more efficient for 1 nuke and not a thousand guns.
I wish i could writefag, i want something more realistic. but i have some important work due tomorrow.
That still seems hilariously awkward to aim and fire. A harness would require the user to orient their body with an impressive degree of precision and "gritting the teeth to fire" would cause damage to the teeth and jaw over time.
Thanks, I guess I'll give it a look.
I'm in the NE USA, so if I stop writing without a clear end means I either lost power or internet.
If self owned assault weapons won't work then show them the beauty of the tank (magically powered in a fashion from the flim flame brothers) or large long range barrage cannons or trench warfare. He'll just give the unicorns the assault weapons and give the heavy stuff to the other guys.
>Discussing ponies using guns
My god it's like this thread suddenly became /foe/ and didn't realize it.
Because it takes more time to make 1 million gunz than to make 1 nuke. Also it takes massive industry.
I mean first of all this writefag assumes ponies can into nukes, and then uses magic and QT mark to hand wave all the research and shit. So i mean i stopped right there.
But in a realistic scenario. What you would want is artillery, and snipers. Because with artillery you blow up a large clustered army, and keep them from advancing while snipers pick them off.
And for aircraft you want something like flack or artillery that fires a spray of shot. Again breaking up large divisions and some guns can take care of the rest.
But again my autistic realism is not what the writefag went for.
I wish i could write.
Have a headless turkey.
I think if you grew up in a race full of quadrupeds you would find ways to make weapons.
Because they can use that to sustain the force of a gun being shot off.
Aim wouldn't be a problem if they would be field combatants.
And if they need long range shooters they would create specialist shooters, which would be trained differently to shoot.
Aka niggers who camp.
>Trigger with mouth
So they can be as mobile as possible.
It doesn't have to be a switch trigger. It can be pressurized too. Hell it can even be a button. As long as they stay MOBILE.
Also what this nigger said magic kinda bullshits through everything.
>"ANONYMOUS OF EARTH!"
>WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!
>The image of the room shatters into a myriad of shards.
>The detonator disappears.
>The shards whirl off into the distance, until they seem to acquire a light of their own.
>They seem to form a constellation.
>Suddenly a blue background dominates your view, as the shards turn into stars and Princess Luna steps in front of you.
>"I must admit, Anonymous of Earth, your dream was very hard to find, and strange to behold."
>Remembering yourself, you drop into a deep bow.
>Actually, you fall to your knees.
>It was just a dream.
>That's all it was.
>None of this happened.
>"And yet, Captain Anonymous, you fear that it could."
>You look up at Princess Luna.
>Her expression is unreadable.
>She seems stern - but then again she's almost always stern.
"Your majesty, I-"
>"Normally I work with little fillies and colts who are having nightmares - but this? I would've heard you screaming in your sleep if I were on the other side of Equestria."
"Am I actually screaming?"
>"Neigh, Anonymous. You were not. Though it concerns me that your embarassment is greater than that of your fears."
>She unfurls her wings and an image rises behind her.
>You stand up and take a deep breath.
>"Anonymous, I am Queen of Dreams. Celestia may rule over the day, but the night-time is -my- domain."
>She takes a step forward.
>"And you dreamt of a weapon, that while I did not witness, could potentially destroy all of Canterlot."
>Another step, towering over you.
>"Make no mistake, Anonymous of Earth - I am far less forgiving than my sister. If thou shall not tell us of this Manehattan Project which burns wildly in your mind, we will rip it from your skull."
>She's not even using the Royal Canterlot Voice.
>And yet you're quaking in your shoes.
>"And if thou shall lie to us? We will imprison you within your nightmares for the next night. Only one night shall pass, but for you it will be an eternity."
>She falls silent.
I would love to, i just have a Uni project to hand in and it's not getting any shorter. If the thread is up tomorrow, i'ma take a paid leave from work (based Canada) And write.
I'm just well read and would use history, that's my shtick.
The two that stood about, are fake turkeys. The one that ran is real.
I was more referring to the fact the turkey still moved around for so long. It's like they barely need their tiny brains. Its head looks like a snake head too, reminding me how close they are to reptiles.
Kudos to whoever took the shot. It's hard to imagine a more perfect kill.
>>implying they can't adapt rail road factories to start mass producing weapons of war with the help of magic haxs
That's definitely a start, but you still need massive equipment, things like mills and stamping machines. Also stamps for each part would have to be made.
Again if we talk magic hax, there's no need to even write a story, why would you? It's all "lel magic".
There's more to war than just loads of guns. Tactics, supply, and other such logistics. Even moral alone can win or lose wars.
Diplomacy is cheaper than war. Since he mentioned mongols the counter to that is pretty simple, hall your ass into the hills, or counter with your own guerrilla tactics, Rome managed to beat nomads, work with the indiscipline. I wish writefags could into tactics,
or more /k/fags could into writing ;_;
>You look up at her, but for some reason she's blurry and indistinct.
>And your eyes are burning.
"Puh-princess, please, I don't know what is-"
>She lays a hoof on your shoulder.
>A coolness spreads through your body and you feel yourself untense.
>You quickly wipe at your eyes and notice that she is now back at her normal size.
>The stern expression is still there.
>You close your eyes.
"The Manehattan Project refers to our Manhattan Project. Roughly 70 years before I fell through the portal, one of our governments developed a weapon based on principles of-"
>She holds up a hoof.
>You fall silent.
>You're not gonna fuck with her.
>"Anonymous of Earth, please. You misunderstood us. Me. I do not wish for you to go into the history, although I do appreciate it. Simply tell us what the weapon does."
"As you saw in my dreams, your majesty. It is a relatively small explosive, based on some rare minerals that can destroy a city. The two times they were used, they killed approximately two-hundred and twenty-five thousand people."
>She makes a circular motion with your hoof.
>"Continue, Anonymous of Earth. What more does it do? Did you witness it yourself?"
>You shake your head.
>You feel really tired.
>Like, all of a sudden.
"No. More before my time."
>You fall to your knees again.
>You feel the cooling touch on your chin this time.
>Princess Luna looks at you, as teal eyes lock with the faceless mask.
>It's funny how it's so ingrained in your psyche that you wear it inside your dream.
>She leans a little bit closer to you.
>Her breath smells like mint.
>"Anonymous. Heed my words."
>When did Princess Luna get here?
>"Anonymous you need to focus."
>Her voice is so melodious.
>Like those white winter flowers.
>The image behind you shatters and turns into a blue vase with lily of the valleys.
>Which then shimmers and turns into a picture of Twilight trotting in place looking panicked.
Yea, but diplomacy isn't always cheaper. Depends on the whole treaties and deals thing.
>Training others not involved to fight your enemies.
This won't end well.
Kebeb gonna kebeb?
>"Anon, you need to help me! There's no books on being a Princess! What am I going to do?!"
>You see your hand reach out and gently touch her mane.
"Twilight relax. Calm down."
>She presses into your hand as you slowly start scratching her around the ear.
>"Anonymous, focus please."
"You know, it's funny - we had a guy back on Earth. Wrote a book called "The Prince."
>Her ear perks up underneath her hand.
>"Do you have it!?"
"Noo, sorry Twilight. It's been ages."
>There was another terribly ghastly noise.
"I'm awake, I'm awake."
>"Once again, neigh, Anonymous. You are still dreaming. And I am losing patience."
>She reforms the image behind her to the other human figures.
>Images of ponies being shot by their weapons.
>You looking out the window helplessly.
>Ursula, from the Little Mermaid.
>Taking your mask off.
>It's like a caleidoscope of failure.
>No matter how you spin it, you see your fears reflected upon themselves, and magnified.
>"Why do you feel this way, Anonymous. You seem like a capable individual. And you are good at choice."
>Luna is still cupping your chin with her hoof.
>"Speak freely, Anonymous. I will not judge."
>You -loathe- admitting weakness.
>"Anonymous, having fears isn't weakness. It's what makes us ponies."
>She coughs awkwardly and lets your chin go.
>"Er. And humans. Humans do feel fear, I assume."
>You give a short laugh and nod.
"Constantly. Some of us. For me-"
>You gesture towards the images behind Luna.
"They represent my fear of failure."
"I did not lie when I spoke of my people as a race of warriors. And I never said I was a warrior myself."
>The words are coming out of you like a jumble.
"I am what is known as an armchair general - I don't have any practical field experience. I have a working knowledge of theory-"
>She holds up a hoof to your mouth again.
Does the army even have real weapons? I mean, they can't use anything conventional, besides spears mounted to their shoulders. How would they even beat Gryphons? I mean, if they had an army made up entirely of Unicorns and Pegasi, then maybe, or if they had some form of archery. I don't think this is a winnable scenario Celestia. I could be wrong, but I know fuck all about your military.
>"Anonymous. I have witnessed you and how you interact with the ponies of Equestria. You did not run away when Twilight's dragon protege turned into a feral version of himself. You were willing to accompany Twilight into the pits of Tartarus itself. When Tirek attacked, you stood up to him."
>"Thou art not craven, Anonymous. I have an inkling of what you are afraid of. Speak from the heart."
>It's funny, you're dreaming, so you obviously don't have a physical one.
>But you still feel it beating out a drum.
"Princess - I am afraid of both losing Twilight and driving her away. I don't even know if she could even look at me the way I want her to look at me. I just..."
>You look at the image behind Luna.
"I don't want to lose the home I have."
>You stand up.
"I lost one before, Princess."
>You ball your fists.
"And I will NOT lose this one! Not to Tirek, not to griffons, not to humans!"
>Your vision is swimming with tears.
>Tears of rage.
"And if I have to do it?! If I need to be as bloody-minded as my ancestors to drive them off, then I swear that I will do my best to wipe them off the face of the Earth."
>You are taking shallow breaths as Luna looks on.
>She closes her eyes and gives a small sigh.
>"Anonymous, as I have said previously, I will not judge. I will also keep your secrets. Unless they endanger Equestria, in which case, I will speak out."
>She makes a pause.
>"I would advise two things. First, if you feel it is necessary, speak to Celestia. It gives me no gall to admit that she is wise. Speak with her, tell her of your plans, and work on them."
>She then smiles at you.
>Completely out of the blue.
>"As for my second piece of advice - while your fears are not baseless, they are normal. Do you not think Celestia and myself do not worry and overthink each and every one of our decisions? The fact that you are willing to consider the fact that you might be a monster already shows you are not."
>She pauses and looks off to the side.
>"Now, it is almost morning. What happened was that you passed out due to nervousness. We let you sleep it off. You are in your new quarters, so do not be afraid when you awaken."
>You scratch your head awkwardly.
"So, I went down like a bitch, huh? Good to know. Please don't tell Shiny about it."
>She gives a guffaw and punches you on the shoulder.
>You're -really- grateful the mask hid your wince.
>She hit you like a freight train.
>"My lips are sealed."
>She starts growing more hazy and indistinct.
>"And remember Anonymous, sometimes you need to face your fears - whatever or whomever they may be."
>And just for a moment, she looked like Twilight more than Luna.
>You sit up in bed, gulping for air.
>You're covered in sweat.
>Princess Celestia's sun is rising outside.
>You're still in your suit and mask.
>You think about what Luna said.
>But you also feel lighter.
>It's as though a heavy burden was lifted from you.
>You take the mask off, wipe your face off with your hands, and head into the bathroom.
>Time to save Equestria.
-END PART III-
Okay, we're actually going to move to the tactics/strategy part tomorrow. That's when the timeskips will start.
I also want to say
>Thanks for your kind words and encouragement and actually taking time to read this.
I haven't written anything in a while, so I'm very grateful for you guys.
I will also apologize for any inaccuracies in my stuff - I don't research it too deeply, so I know some of my numbers (or during the next part, my terminology) might be a bit off.
Are you basing the flashbacks from established/existing anon-in-equestria stories or just your original head-canons?
I'm pretty interested on how the events in the show would unfold if anon was involved.
Have to say, I try so hard to avoid fimfiction but the topic of this thread got me interested.
Finally, all those years of RTS will pay off. First, you have to build more collectors.
They are ideas that I had kicking around in my head. Most of the stories I write play loose and fast with the canon, so there is some stuff included. I am trying to mesh it all into cohesive stuff, but it doesn't always work.
And yeah, I'd love to write about those, but right now my "Anon vs Tirek" file has the words
>knigga knigga knigga
In a world where the greatest weapon invented yet was the sword, I'm just going to guess that the nuke wins the war. Effective or not, think of the shock value. In a world where every death was up close and personal, someone just wiped out an entire city in a matter of seconds from a million miles away.
I haven't seen a good front-line Anon story yet... (besides Lurkernon's stories) and I was wondering if anyone would be up to writing some green?
>Anon coming back from the range
>Anon ends up in mid-war equestria and is pretty much told fight for us or else
>Gets sent to front lines with everything he had on him from the range + some standard equipment from equestrian forces
>Gets into fire-fight (magic/musket - fight?) with gryphons
>Anon is kind of hated by most of the royal troops
>Troops make it harder for Anon out of spite
I can't write to save my life but if anyone wants to use that as a semi-starter I guess? Or is it just trash.
IVAN IN EQUESTRIA!
Also that better be a Nagant, muh perfect gas seals.
>no ammo for the revolver.
>7.62 X 39
My favorites the Canadian one.
I made an operator designed to hunt down slavshits like your operator :^)
>Having had a breakfast of dates and oranges you briefly reflect on the fact that they could've at least found some meat for you.
>Granted, the fact that you're about to lock wits in mortal combat with a race of carnivores might send everypony the wrong idea.
>Not to self - ask Bulk Biceps where he gets his whey from.
>You hop into the shower.
>Well, it's not really a shower.
>And more of a fucking four-person bathtub, with water massage, jacuzzi, a bubble dispenser, and a magical enchantment that automatically set the temperature to "just right."
>You wonder if they'll let you keep it.
>You climb out, dry yourself off, and finish making yourself look presentable.
>It would be terrible for morale if you looked like a messy hobo.
>That's actually a pretty good idea - you should give the troops a pep-talk.ast
>Where -are- your troops?!
>You've been so focused on your secret projects that you forgot about the cannon fodder.
>Alpha Centauri did not prepare you for this.
>Fine. You'll ask Shiny about this.
>You replace your suit and mask and head to CommCon.
>Nopony is here yet - but there are two sealed envelopes on the table.
>You sit down on one of the chairs-
>Note to self - grab the armchair from your room, it looked comfy.
>-tear the first letter open and unfold it.
>"To Captain Anonymous de Manus."
>"We have received your letter and shall join you in the Sky Lounge once we have finished Morning Court. Refreshments will be served. We shall discuss matters of both military and State. We shall see you then."
>"From the desk of Princess Celestia, Keeper of Sun, Diarch of Equestria, Sol in Lucem Aeternum."
>"P.S. Anonymous, I expect a full report on our battle readiness in three days. Other than that, congratulations."
>You slowly fold the letter up and shove it back into the envelope.
>What the hay was she congratulating you for?
[I will be posting slower because I have class tomorrow morning, and this update will be shorter. Sorry]
Cool beans, man.
If you're going to actually finish it, unlike some other writefags I'm sure we all know, I don't care how long it takes to get out.
Quality over quantity and all that.
>You open the second letter.
>"Captain Anonymous - I had my staff work on your request all throughout the night. The names and addresses of the ponies you wanted are at the front desk, sealed. Joyhoof will give them to you and you alone. Please pick them at your earliest convenience."
>"Respectfully, Cipher Roll, Master of the Census."
>They work fast.
>You glance at the clock.
>It's a little past 10, so you have time to grab it and get back here before Princess Celestia arrives.
>You quickkly jot down that you're retrieving the Census report, place it on the table, pocket your tables, and quickly make your way to the Bureau offices.
>Joyhoof sees you, but instead of being as pleasant as she was yesterday, she instead frowns slightly, and hoofs you off a giant stack of paper, wrapped up in more paper.
>She nods and waves you off.
>You feel like a kid on Christmas Eve with the heavy package in your hands.
>Almost impulsively, you start to unwrap it.
>Two folders, both unlabeled.
>You flip through the first one.
>One of the castle maids looks at you funny as you pretty much cavort down the castle corridor.
>You cough awkwardly, straighten out your suit, brush off some imaginary dust, and keep walking.
>But seriously, you couldn't be happier.
>You quickly peek into the folder you mentally labelled "Detrick."
>Yes, okay, perfect.
>Maybe this won't be so bad.
>When you get back to CommCon, Shiny is there waiting for you.
>You approach him to give him a brohoof/brofist, but stop suddenly.
>Princess Mi Amora de Cadenza, also known as Princess Cadance is there, looking at one of the maps.
>So instead, you bow to the two of them.
"Prince, Princess - so glad you could join me today."
>Shiny snaps off a salute, while Cadance does the pony version of a curtsy.
>"Captain Anonymous, good to see you as well."
>The two of them exchange glances and Princess Cadance slowly shakes her head.
Aw heck yes, I'm almost undefeated in risk AND stratego.
> Self appointed Commador Commander general in chief
>Also known as Comma Comma Genchee
>Stand ready at the table in the war room to plan the offensive and defensive lines.
>Move all the pieces from the back, where the base is, to the front where the enemies are.
>"B-but chief comma comma.... we need someone to defend our city in case anything goes wrong."
"Everybody! Everybody! Shining Armor has an announcement!"
>The room goes quiet
"Well shining armor, tell the cabinet how you think my rank means nothing."
"Or how being the human advisor to Equestrian relations means nothing."
"Or how my 300 confirmed kills on the Battlefield 4 combat simulatiom program means absolutely nothing compared to someone who has spent his life stationed in Canterlot. Unsuccessfully I might add, as your force field was unable to stop a changeling invasion."
>"That's not fair, I-"
"I should really be letting you talk now, right. Well go ahead, talk to us shiny. I'll just be outside advising quietly to the vending machine about what flavor of doritos I choose. Go ahead, take the millions of pony lives into your unexperience hands. Goodbye."
>As you begin to walk out, you hear a voice behind you.
>You turn around
>"So we move the guard units to the front lines then."
>You nod solemnly
>The war is underway
>It is a humiliating battle, many of the ponies are killed
>The griffons attack Canterlot
>When they arrive you shrug it off, feeling good that you had nothing to do with the faulty plan. Obviously the soldiers didn't stay together well enough.
>Shiny looks slightly apologetic and closes his mouth.
"So, uh. You're waiting for Princess Celestia as well."
>"Yes. She should be here momentarily - Morning Court ended early."
>You nod emphatically.
>To be honest, the few times you met Princess Cadance, you felt a bit awkward around her.
>Not like you had a good reason for it or anything.
>There's a bit of an awkward silence in the room.
>You decide to break it by putting the two folders on the war table.
>Shining's eyes light up.
>"Are these the Census reports?"
>You give another nod, as he and Cadance float them up and flip through them.
>You decide not to say anything.
>After all, you're fighting for her Empire as well.
>You wonder why she's a Princess, rather than an Empress.
>"Interesting selection, Captain Anonymous. I presume this will be part of your briefing."
>As you're about to answer her, you hear hoofsteps on the staircase.
>"Anon, that's probably Comet Blaze. I told him to get here before Princess Celestia does."
>Indeed it's Comet Blaze who immediately salutes the two of you.
"At ease. We're talking about two things before Princess Celestia gets here - diddly and squat."
>He steps into the room.
>"The Princess is actually on her way - I had to wing it here real quick to get here ahead of her."
>"Excellent, lieutenant, your vigor is appreciated."
>The four of you remain standing though, since you hear the voices of two mares, as well as hoofsteps.
>"It wasn't that dull, Tia. It makes sense that they would be worried."
>"You're right of course. It's just yet another crisis. I'm worried that my little ponies are becoming inured to them."
>"You're probably right."
>You did not realize that Princess Luna would be here as well.
>The two Diarchs enter and everybody in the room drops into a bow.
>"Please, no need for formalities. Captain Anonymous and Prince-Captain Shining Armor are the ones who run this campaign. We are here as observers."
>You straighten yourself up and notice Luna looking at you - so you give her a small nod, which she returns.
"Thank you for the kind words, Princess Celestia. I suppose-"
>"One moment, Anonymous. The staff is going to bring refreshments. We would all feel better after a cup of coffee."
>"Coffee would be great!"
>"What? I like coffee. I'm sure Anon does too."
"Of course. Wonderful idea, Princess Luna."
>She gives one of her wan smiles.
>And true to her word, a minute later two pegasi bring a table laden with donuts, small sandwiches, a pitcher of tea, and two giant pots of coffee.
>Everypony and yourself pour yourself some, save for Princess Celestia who makes a beeline for the tea.
>Once everybody has finished obtaining some kind of caffeine, you look at the assembled monarchs.
"Okay. So. Let's get this meeting underway. Lieutenant Comet Blaze, if you wouldn't mind taking notes?"
>He nods and grabs some writing supplies.
"All right. So, Prince Shining Armor and myself have worked some things out. And I am fairly sure I have most of our grand strategy planned out."
>"Yes, although Anonymous is being rather reticient about some of his ideas."
>You smile politely.
"All will be revealed. So. The general gist of the strategy is advantages and disadvantages. To put it simply, we need to have more advantages and less disadvantages than the griffons. Simple and effective."
>You tap your finger on the map.
"Now, the griffons have the more martial advantages. They're stronger, more vicious, and more enduring. And normally, this means nothing, if their notions of warfare are a pile of bull."
>You see the Princesses exchange glances and Princess Celestia covers her mouth politely.
>"And you have reason to believe this is not the case, Anonymous of Earth?"
"Unfortunately. From what the griffon expert told me, griffons practice a very modern form of warfare. They rely on mobility. Means that they don't worry about stuff like logistics, fortifications, and grand armies. They'll use their units to harass us, strike us hard, evade pursuit, and so on and so forth. Bad times for all.
>Princess Celestia nods.
"Now, first of all - is repeating history an option here? If we were to request aid from the dragons, would that work?"
>Princesses Cadance and Luna exchange glances while Celestia shakes her head.
>"Unfortunately, Captain Anonymous, we have exhausted all our diplomatic options."
>You shrug and nod.
"Okay. Relying on foreign armies is a foalish idea anyway. Now, the good news. We have advantages of our own. We have magical advantage, we have a better support system, we're fighting on home ground, we have naval advantage, and - well..."
>"Please, Anonymous, speak freely. I speak for all of us where if you have an impossible idea, we'll tell you why."
>Maybe you could save some time.
"Princess Celestia, you control the Sun. Is there any chance you could-"
>"No Anonymous. I am sorry. I would not risk altering the patterns of day and night and neither would my sister."
>"Indeed, Anonymous. We did that once. Never again."
"Ah... I wasn't talking about that, actually. In addition to being the source of light and warmth, the Sun is also a giant ball of glowing hot plasma. Is there any chance you could, y'know. Wipe out their army by using a tiny fraction of it."
>The room is deathly silent.
>Princess Celestia has her eyes closed, Luna has an unreadable expression as always, Cadance looks a bit shocked, and Shiny is shaking his head.
>"Anonymous, you do not- no, Anonymous. If I would do that - but no. The notion is off the table. And, suffice to say, Luna feels the same way. You know not of what you ask, to use our Wyrds for war."
>Shiny looks over at Cadance.
>"And I'll forestall your question, Anon. Cadance will not use her Wyrd in the war effort as well."
"Now just to clarify, is this a moral issue or... something else?"
>"A bit of both, Anonymous of Earth. We would not use the pull of the Moon to crush the opposing army. At the same time, if we use our Wyrd in such a fashion, it would permanently alter it. And we cannot risk it."
"Okay. Okay, I understand. No problem."
>They're not going to like this.
"Okay. Fine. It's off the table then. Okay. So then, I would like to get approval for Project Detrick and the Project Manehattan."
>Four pairs of eyes look at you expectantly, as Comet Blaze scribbles.
>You pick up the first folder.
"I have had the Census Bureau find me all the ponies that are skilled in what we would call nuclear physics. Properties of matter. Some of those properties is exploding when they reach a certain mass. There's some other bits to it, but basically it's taking two special rocks, smashing them together, and producing an explosion."
>Luna nods with approval.
>"With how much force, Captain?"
"Yes, well. That's the awkward bit. Theoretically, enough to level a city to the ground."
>Cadance looks pissed.
>But Celestia is the one who's opinion matters the most.
>And her expression mimics Luna's - entirely unreadable.
-END PART III.5-
Sorry guys, but I have to wake up in 8 hours. I have class and work tomorrow, but the story WILL resume, sometime at around 2-3 PM US Eastern time.
Good night silverslut, we'll keep the thread alive
"Everybody! Everybody! Shining Armor has an announcement!"
>The room goes quiet
"Well shining armor, tell the cabinet how you think my rank means nothing."
"Or how being the human advisor to Equestrian relations means nothing."
"Or how my 300 confirmed kills on the Battlefield 4 combat simulatiom program means absolutely nothing compared to someone who has spent his life stationed in Canterlot. Unsuccessfully I might add, as your force field was unable to stop a changeling invasion."
>"That's not fair, I-"
"I should really be letting you talk now, right. Well go ahead, talk to us shiny. I'll just be outside advising quietly to the vending machine about what flavor of doritos I choose. Go ahead, take the millions of pony lives into your unexperience hands. Goodbye."
Did u actual read Prince? Or Sun Tzu work? Cos u make my sides produce spaghetti, and those convirmed kills on the Battlefield 4 combat simulation program... Dude. I hope, in next life we will be brothers. Even in arms!
The only way to operate.
>If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight.
Sun Tzu said that, and he knows a little more abot war than you do, because he invented it!
I did, can't use it on my phone. Also no app. Does no one else see this having indie game capabilities?
Build an operator, send them on missions, fight other operators.
Granted it feels like a FB game and I hate FB so idk if it would even have an audience.
Did this a long time ago, I'm don't even browse /k/
>Welcome to /mlk/, when horsefuckers operate.
Tell me comrades, do I oper8?
No, and if someone was brave enough to do it, I would bone them for weeks. My inner operator and horsefucker will collide in such a way that the universe would not be able to handle it.
well fuck, is this better?
Meh / 10 not Bloods enough would not nig with.
>You take a sip of water
>Cold, crisp. Not unlike the morning.
>You can't let the griffon in front of you know it, but you're actually doing it to calm your nerves
>This entire scenario is set up to be as intimidating as possible to him—your slightly raised chair, the lighting, the time of day
>The fact that your mask has a skull pattern on it instead of a question mark
>But none of that matters if you're quivering.
>So you drink, to calm your nerves.
"You lost quite a while ago, really. I can't pinpoint the moment, though."
"Maybe you can help. When did you get the idea that you could beat Equestria? I think that was about the time of loss."
>"Are you finished?"
"We're not finished until I melt your crown into an effigy of my dick as my troops destroy your capital."
>"I did not mean the war. I meant this pathetic attempt to intimidate me."
"This? Ponies' idea. I know this shit wouldn't work. This doesn't scare you."
"What is going to scare you is the fact I have your favorite Concubine."
>His eyebrows move a bit, but otherwise no reaction
>Got him by the balls.
"You know. Cloudclaw."