>Anon... what's your real name?

>>21315120

>implying I have one

I am Spartacus.

>>21315120
Candle ja-

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Names are fleeting things.

>>21315120
I am G prime!

>>21315145

How do you manage to kidnap yourself?

>>21315120
James

My name is chck chcka chck slim Shady

>>21315142
I am Spartacus!

>>21315120

My name is Cuckold Cucky McCuck Cuck.

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AND I'M JAVERT!

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>>21315120
In that moment, try as he might, Anon could not remember even a whisper of who he was.
He was not himself any longer.
There was only Anon left.
"I...I don't know!"

>>21315142
>>21315186
No, I am Spartacus!

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>>21315120
I am Legion.
I do not Forgive.
I do not Forget.
I am a faggot.

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It's Steve

>>21315247
>Then anon goes to look in the mirror for a vague memory of who he is.
>mirror says no picture available
>Mfw
>Mfw I have no face

>>21315120
I use anon because if anyone knew my real name they could attack the ones I love. For that reason I wear this green mask and protect the city at night

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>>21315244
I STOOOLOOOLLLEEEE A LOAD OF BREEAD

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>>21315272
>No face

>>21315120
BANE

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>>21315120

>Anon... what's your real name?

Whatever you feel like screaming while I ravage that ass.

>>21315295
Shut up 24601

>>21315244

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEVago2PKn0

>>21315313

Brad

>>21315330
rekt

>>21315120
Gaylord.

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>>21315247
>tfw Anonymous is literally that Anonymous
>tfw the background pony's have an actual purpose in life via their cutiemarks while anonymous cannot even find out who he truly is
>tfw anonymous doesnt know his own father / mother / brother / sister / children
i think dementia anonymous forgetting who he 'truly' is would be one of the greatest feels story's ever if we had the right write friend

>>21315253
>>21315186
>>21315142

These guys are Spartacus, you should crucify them and let me go.

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>>21315120
My name is barely mentioned in Lake Town. They remember well the destruction I wrought upon the land when I arrived.

But I shall fly above Lake Town once more, just to show them that they live only by my will.

I shall show them that I am stronger, more powerful than them, and that I always will be.

I will sow the seeds of destruction once more, to teach others a lesson about how I am an impressive force to be reckoned with.

I shall not leave the town until it is no more.

But, Pony Princess, I shall seek you out personally; I shall seek you out, for you took from me a cup, encrusted with jewels and made of gold.

Have you not heard of how closely dragons guard their treasure?

Have you not heard of how unlucky it is to invoke a dragon's wrath?

You are a fool, Pony Princess.

You speak not of wishing to reclaim my gigantic horde of jewels and gold and armour; instead, you claim that you and your companions have come to the Lonely Mountain for revenge.

Revenge? Ha! I laid low the warriors of old that once defended the Dwarven King and his mountain halls.

The so-called Dwarven King under the Mountain is dead by my claws!

I am the rightful King under the Mountain, and shall be forever!

The jewels and iron scales that cover me give me armour like tenfold shields!

My teeth are swords!

My claws are spears!

The shock of my tail is a thunderbolt through the sky!

The clap of my wings is a hurricane!

My breath of fire, my signature, is death.

You will understand, Pony Princess, that I am the Great Wyrm Smaug, Destroyer of Dale and Terror of the Lonely Mountain.

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>>21315120
"I'm spiderman. Now bend over while I shove this katana up your ass"

>>21315353

Honestly, that seems like a normal AiE story for me. It's so much easier to write about someone who has no relatives and no memory. It's a blank slate.

>>21315120

OH. MY GOD.

You can't just ask a human their NAME twilight, holy fucking shit do you even know how rude that is. A humans name can only be told to their most intimate partner.

Do you...still want to know my name?

John. John Doe. You can call me Jack if you like. I'm sorry I haven't told you before, back on Earth defending my identity was really important, I guess that stuck with me. I hope you're still up for cuddles tonight after I fuck you silly, that is.

My names Jeff

>>21315120
My name is not important.

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>>21315443
>"HI YAH NOT IMPORTANT!"

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>>21315353
I can see it now: Anon with dementia the green text story. So bitter sweet and crushing that it gets capped and reposted in every feels thread for the next 2 years.

>>21315461
Now I'm imagining Pinkie always calling anon "Not important."

>>21315170
That's the magic of candl-

>>21315353
Writefags please.

>>21315120
YOU KNOW MY NAAAAAAME

>>21315379
We were suggesting a story in which Anon had a full life and backstory. Family, friends, job/school, dreams and desires and maybe a relationship.
You know, someone normal, but content and happy with his life.
Then he gets sucked into Equestria.
First he some finer details, maybe about the place he worked, his distant family, small things.
Then it piles on. The ponies questioned him while his memory was still relatively fresh, so after that they didn't delve too much into his personal life.
But soon, without Anon even realizing, he starts slipping away. His memories and the place he worked, his daily schedule, what he liked to eat and do for fun.
He forgets who his friends were, who he worked with, what his job even was.
Soon his family fades, his siblings, what his father was like, his mother's face, where they lived.
All this fades without him realizing. After all, how can you realize you've forgotten something when you've forgotten it?
Maybe in time Equestria will become all Anon knows, all memories of earth forgotten. He would become a true alien, no past to speak of, drifting through life in a strange exotic world in which he does not belong, never truly being accepted.
Try as the ponies might, they could never get rid of the tiny seed of doubt and fear they have of Anon, as much as they hated it.

And then, one day, Twilight got curious, as she does, and asks this of Anon.
And Anon was nobody.

My name is Dr. Leonid Pavel.

>>21315510
That's not how it fucking works. You have to say candle jack's full name bef

>>21315551
Candle Jack isn't real, Anon.

>>21315573
You aren't real

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Not Sure.

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>>21315120
Shepard. What do you need me to do, sir?

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>>21315185

>>21315601
A better ending.

>>21315120
"I like you and all Twili, but I'm not gonna tell you my name."

I'm Luke Skywalker and I'm here to rescue you.

>>21315120
kunta kinte

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No Robert Paulson yet? oh man...jeez oohhh....

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>>21315612
Download a mod or play ME2 again, sir.

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>>21315120
The Doctor.
Just The Doctor.
Hello!

>>21315622
I'm Han Solo and I shot first

>>21315120
I'm CIA.

I am the law.

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>>21315660
I AM ABOVE THE LAW!

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>>21315548

>>21315142
>>21315186
>>21315253
>>21315356
No, I am Spartacus!

>>21315649
Mesa Jar-Jar and mesa officially part of Star Wars too!

>>21315120

My parents never took me to a priest to be baptised. Many state organizations have me registered as "NFN". No first name. Irl I actually *am* anonymous.

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>>21315219
The name is Word, Buzz Word.

>>21315691
[Muffled spooge in the distance]

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names are for friends, so i dont need one

>>21315506
You should look at
>>21315593

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HIS NAME IS WANKBALLS, DON'T LET HIM TELL YOU ANYTHING ELSE!

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>>21315120
John.

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>>21315818

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>>21315120
>I have have had many names Twilight, Clint, Alex, Jacob, Dimitri, Ezra, Mordecai, Obidiah, Tobias, Roger, Uriel, and Constance. To be honest, it doesn't really matter that much to me. After all, who I am is not important, its whoever you want me to be that matters the most. Call me what you want, and I'll be here to help as best as I can.

>>21315725

What religious country do you live in?

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You know it already.

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>>21315120
At the moment, Randall Flagg.

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>>21315547
n-nigga...
what if anon forgot about the mane 6 and his pone friends and goes all apeshit thinking their burglers breaking into his house and he attacks them forcing them to take him to celestia who cannot cure his 'madness' and therefore he has to see a psychiatrist and at this point anon can only explain simple things in drawing or grunts

>>21315120
Anon.

>>21316156
W-what is this, Anon? Why are you doing this? Why are you giving me this feel for ants?

>>21315356
>Somewhere in the back of the crowd, a man is yelling "YOU FUCKING COWARD!"

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>>21316178
sometimes the smallest feels can make you feel the most

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>>21316126
Maybe you should remember it so she doesn'y have to

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>>21315244
>mfw me and my brother have a Les Mis joke going on for months
>mfw the punch line is "and I'm Javert"
>mfw I see your post

many keks were had.

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>>21315547

>>21315120
Marty

>>21316089

>>21316089

I'd rather not say where I'm from since it often attracts hate from other eurofags. The local religion is orthodox christianity. It's so lax and accepting that I can only regard reports of christian zealotry in the States with disbelief. Even going to church every Sunday is a bit too much.
Anyway, the country isn't religious, it is customocratic. It is customary for kids to be baptised and registered with that name. Bonds of blood and clan are way more active (and choking) than religion.

>>21315120
Tyrone

>>21315120
Michael

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>>21316230
you fucker
i wasn't ready for those feels

>>21315120
Elmo because my parents hated me.

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>>21315120
. . .

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>>21315385

>"Anon... What's your real name?"
>Twilight gets your attention from the desk you were writing on.
>You've been here a few months, but Twilight's been a good friend and host while you're here in the land of pasty hoofbitches.
>Or was it pastel? You can't remember anymore.
>Either way, this is the first time that she's been so blunt about a question.
>You must've taken just a little too long to respond, because she speaks again.
>"I mean, it's just that Anonymous is such an odd name, and it literally means 'unknown'. Most of us are aware that you just used it as a cover. Would it be alright if you told us what it really was?"
>You're not quite ready for this shit.
>As in, you're not done having your fun.
>In fact, you could have quite a bit of entertainment if you play your cards right.
>You mentally strap on your rainbow suspenders and tip your fedora for that little extra pinch of autism that you need.
"OH. MY GOD."
>She stutters at your outburst, now obviously flustered that she might've offended you.
>Perfect.
"You can't just ask a human their NAME, Twilight! Holy fucking shit, do you even know how rude that is?"
>Her ears fall flat as she tries to find any words to speak.
>"I-I.. I didn't mean to... I'm so sorry, Anon! I'm still getting used to your culture, uh, w-why is it rude?"
>Time for bullshit.
>You turn away from the desk and look her dead in the eyes.
"A human's name can only be told to their most intimate partner, the one they know they'll be spending the rest of their life with."
>It's like turning a switch on a stove.
>Her cheeks redden to the point that she almost looks like Big Mac.
>"O-oh... That's rather peculiar... S-so, I basically just asked you to...?"
"That's right."
>She rubs her shoulder with a hoof, avoiding all eye contact from you.
>"I'll.. just go see if Spike needs any help, then!"
>She turns to leave.
>But we can't have that, can we?

>>21315120
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0Zz5S90su0

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>>21319520
>Trigun
MY. FUCKING.NIGGA

>>21316230
Why?

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>>21319397

"Twilight."
>As she turns around, you stand up so suddenly that you knock over your chair.
>You stay silent for a minute, making the most stereotypical anime love face you can.
pic related
>She looks at you with a mix of confusion and awkwardness, still flustered from before.
>It gets worse when you don't say anything for an entire minute.
>"...Are... you okay?"
>When the air's thick enough with tension to slice it with a knife, you finally enact your plan.
"Twilight... Do you still want to know my name?"
>You make sure your voice is as strong and calm as possible.
>"..."
>If there was ever a pony that gave a good 'Oh shit nigger what are you doing' look, it was Purplesmart, right here and now.
>"Oh... Anon, I really, uh, appreciate the gesture, but I think it's best that we, you know, stay friends?"
"Dickmongler."
>"..Uh, I'm sorry, what?"
"That's my name. Dickmongler."
>She squints her eyes for a second, trying to decipher what you said.
>"...That's your real name?"
"Yeah."
>"You can't expect me to think that's what people called you back on Earth."
"Of course not! People back on Earth called me Dickmongler Shitfaced McGee."
>"They did not!"
>You raise your hands up for dramatic effect.
>"Well excuuuuuuuuse me, Princess! But between the two of us, who's been to Earth?"
>She sighs heavily, knowing you're not going to take any other way.
>"You have."
"And who here -hasn't- been to Earth?"
>"Anon?"
"Ah ah, my name isn't Anon."
>"Right... D- I really need to check on Spike now!"
>The smile on your face only gets wider.
"Good! Let's go tell him my real name, now that it's out of the bag."
>She rolls her eyes and starts walking upstairs.
>"What happened to it being only for the intimate partner?"
"Yeah, that was bullshit."
>"And this isn't?"
>You stop behind her, a hand lazily placed over your heart.
"Oh, I am offended, Twiley! What did I ever do to make you think that of me?"
>"What you just did!?"

>>21319397
Moar

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nomen_nescio

my names Jeff

>>21319808
Fuckin' thumbnail.

>Damn, she still thinks you're being genuine.
>This might get interesting.
"Well, apologies for the joke. My name's still Dickmongler, though."
>She finally stops right outside of her bedroom door where Spike lay, probably reading a new issue of Power Ponies.
>"Wait... Anon, I need you to be completely honest with me. Is that really your name?"
>She looks a little worried, now.
>Like, worried-that-her-child-might-be-half-zigger kind of worried.
>You feel a little bad for what you're about to do, but your sides need a good devastation.
"It really is. Dickmongler Shitfaced McGee."
>She tries to read your countenance, but you stay stone-faced.
>After a moment, her pupils dilate somewhat, realizing that you're as serious as Sam.
>"It... It really is?"
"Yes! Now are we going, or not?"
>She takes a moment and clears her throat.
>"O-of course... I suppose we should let others know, right?"
"I can't wait. Living under the tired facade of Anonymous all this time, telling you my real name is a real weight off my shoulders!"
>You even swing your arm at the last part for added effect.
>It's cheesy as shit, but in the land of idealistic rainbow equine world, it's just fine and dandy.
>Like using the term 'fine and dandy'. What the fuck, author?
>Either way, you look back down and see Twilight breathing in, like she's preparing herself.
>A little shine of her horn opens the door, and the two of you walk into the bedroom where Spike is reading a comic with PP on the front.
>Fucking called it.
>"Oh, hey guys! Did you see the new issue? Radiance got this new yellow bracelet that gives her powers based on fear-"
>"Don't remind me about that fiasco, Spike. I'm still getting over getting marehandled by that crazed Mane-iac. I was just checking in on you, since you've been quiet."
>Good thing she interrupted him, or you would've had to call heresy on that fear shit.
>Oh right, you're here for a reason.
>You nudge Twilight with your leg to get a move on.

>>21315120
Gabe.. Gabe Newell

>>21315120
Chris Chan :^)[spoiler/]

>>21319989
Anybody still interested?
I'm going to bed now, but if this thread's still up tomorrow afternoon, I'll keep going if you guys want it.

Steven

>>21320098
Still here, writefriend.

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>>21319989
>>21320098
It's absolutely Dandy, I fund it.

Rick.

>>21319166
Cheeky bastard.

I just finished watching that for the first time a couple of weeks ago.

>>21315120
>The question startles you. You fumble your drink, nearly choking on your straw.
“It’s.. Anonymous, Twi’. You know that.”
>The mare gives a slight tilt of her head, her curious frown never faltering.
>“Are you sure?”
“Yyyeah?”
>She’s still looking at you.
“Yeah!”
>you add, with extra conviction. You can’t help but loose a nervous chuckle.
“That’s what I said when we first met, remember? Remember? Pinkie was screaming about the pony-eating ape monster, Dash looked like she was ready to bowl me over.”
>You pause a moment, remembering fondly your first, tumultuous moments of meeting the best friends you’ve ever had.
>They’d been nervous at first, riled up by Pinkie taking an excuse to act scared, but in time they came to accept you, welcome you. Care about you even.
>Ponyville was home now.
“And you.”
>You continue.
“You came and you said your name. Introduced yourself and asked me--”
>“I remember.. Anon.” Twilight says softly, kindly.
>Violet eyes that had been downcast, thoughtful, now rose to meet yours.
>“But I also remember when I asked you your name. And it’s that memory that I keep coming back to.”
>You smile at her, trying to look casual, but don’t know if it even looks halfway genuine.
>Twilight approaches, taking a seat in front of your likewise seated person. She looks up at you.
>“When I asked you your name, you hesitated.”
>Shit Anon. Keep on smiling. Don’t let her see it.
“I keep trying to figure out why, why you would hesitate to say your own name, but I can only think of one reason.”
>She knows, doesn’t she?
“You don’t trust us, Anon? Don’t trust us to know your real name?”
>She doesn’t know.

>>21320538
“Twilight, that’s ridiculous, of course I tr--”
>“Then why? Why won’t you tell us your name?”
>You can’t meet her eyes anymore. You drop your head, burying your face in your palm. Memories of home come flooding back.
>When you were a human -- not *the* human, *a* human, one of many -- you had a name. A real name. It was the name of a man nobody would remember. You had nothing, no one to call your own, no friends and family. That was you. A living ghost.
>When you came here, when Twilight asked you who you were, you were ashamed. You didn’t want to be that person anymore.
>That’s why, when she asked you your name, you thought about it. Blurted out the first thing that came. It was Anonymous. And Anonymous was nothing like the man you left behind.
>You had a good job, you knew everyone’s name who lived in Ponyville, and they knew yours. You had friends. You had a home, a warm bed, a life, and good things within that life.
>Things worth living for.
>When you lift your face from your hand, it feels cool.
>Your hand was wet.
>Twilight doesn’t say anything. First, she wraps her hooves around you, hugging you.
>Here was something else you had now, now that you were Anonymous.
“Anonymous.” Twilight whispers, squeezing you a little. “It’s okay. I’m not going to think less of you no matter what. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
>You sniffle a little.
“You really want to know my name?”
>Twilight nods into your shoulder.
>You lean forward, and into her ear, you whisper your name.

end

me can’t write too gud, but the concept I thought of sounded nice to me, so I tried

>>21315120
PAULBRERO NOW GIV MI BURRITO

>>21320098
Still lurking, god stuff you got here

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My name is jeff

>>21315120
I ain't giving out my true name in a world where magic exists.

youtube.com/watch?v=xybLsPwa-HU
Anons chill out

>>21320570
I dig it.

>>21320570
Brilliant.

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>>21315120
What is in a name, sweet Twilight? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

DO NOT FORGET MY NAME
DO NOT FORGET ME
TWO FOUR SIX OH ONEEEE

>>21315120
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9jWxLonMHU
They call me Bond

>>21315120
My real name is Twilight Sparkle. I just call myself Anonymous so that Derpy won't lose my mail.

>>21322412
Then Anon forever got every piece of mis-marked postage ever sent.

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>>21315443
I get it

>>21315120

If you really want to know, Twily, then I'll tell you. But I'll only whisper it into your ear as we embrace sensually...

Do we have a deal?

>>21315120
>Anon... what's your real name?
>i want to shout it while we have sex

His name was Robert Paulson

My name means nothing to me now.
I live here in Equestria now and with the turning of a new leaf, I decided to take the name Anonymous. I hope you respect my decicion.

>>21316361
>hate from other eurofags
>religion is orthodox
Russia!
Either way, Happy Orthodox Christmas!

My name is not important, what is important is what I am going to do
I just fucking hate this world and these pony worms feasting on it's carcass
My whole life is just cold bitter hatred, and I always wanted to die violently
This is the time of vengeance, and no life is worth saving, and I will put in the grave as many as I can
It's time for me to kill
And it's time for me to die
My genocide crusade begins here
>"W-what?"
WHHHUUUUUUAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
>You pull an M16 out of your trench coat
>You fire into the crowd around you
MY NAME IS EDGELORD!!
>RATATATATATATATATATATA
>STABBY STABBY
>FUCKIN BOOM
>RATATATATATATATATATA
>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>PEW PEW KABLOW FFFFBOOOM!

>"ANON!!"
Yes?
>"THAT IS NOT A STORY TO BE TELLING FILLIES IN A LIBRARY!"
What? Seriously?
>"YES, ANON!"
...it's not like it's real or anything
>"I DON'T CARE IF IT'S REAL OR NOT"
>"NOW YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME AND NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL CHANGE THAT"
Aww fuckin g-
>"YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I SWEAR TO CELESTIA I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL"

David Davidson

>>21315547
There was a story kinda like that, called "Rebels in Equestria." Deep stuff.

>>21315120

It never was important enough to begin with, why does it matter now?

>>21316141
I can actually see anon as that guy.

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>>21315120
I AM THE STRELOK

CALL ME PRINCESS MI AMORE CADENZA

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>>21315120
>"Giuseppe Petri"

My name is Sn-
…Pliskin. Iroquois Pliskin.

>>21315120
My name is Phin Pie

>>21315184
Rolfe?

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>>21322996

>>21322998
No, I am

>>21319166
Ending sucks, fucking waste of time with no resolution and no punishment

>>21322998
#phincon2015

>>21322998
Cloudsdale Splash was a fuckup

Think about it, anons, if you were to go to Equestria (provided the rest of the world didn't know about it already and set up checkpoints and required identification and all that), you could change your name to anything you wanted and they'd believe you. Would you do it?

>>21322998
I am actually Lawrence.

>>21315120
>You know.
>You know exactly who I am.
>Say my name.

>>21315120

Adam Nonne.

>>21315120
Fuck you fuck you and fuck you. That's my real name

>>21315120
Sierra parson

>>21323058
No my name is awesome and so am i

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>>21323110

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>>21323197

>>21315120
Dick Johnson

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>>21315120
Gabriel. Dr. Gabriel Faustus

>>21315120
my name is Faggot the sucker of many dicks

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>>21315120
My name is Jeffy, and I like to eat apples

>>21315636
Where is this from?

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>>21315142
I'm Spartacus and so is my wife.

My name is Smith, Miss Twilight Sparkle. Agent Smith.

>>21315513
Expect me to publish something something on it within the next decade or two. I got plans and shit, but this kind of thing is right up my alley.

>>21315120
Anthony Fantano

>>21315120
>using tears to try to convince me to tell you my name
That's low, Twilight, even for you.

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>>21315120
DICKS

Are you a boi or a grill?

>>21316230
i will find you, and im gonna [spoler] hug you, and never let you go [/spoiler]

>>21323814
You dropped your "i".

>>21323620
kek

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>>21315120
My name is not important. What is important is what I'm going to do...

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>>21319989
kbk

>She looks back at you, unsure of whether to try and get out of this or if you were still joking.
>You nod your head to Spike to make your point, and she turns, giving a big awkward smile to her apprentice.
>This is gonna be good.
>"By the way, Spike... You know how Anonymous is named just that?"
>He looks up from his comic, a little more at you than her.
>"Yeah, I gotta say dude, it's kinda weird having a name that's-"
>"Well, that's what I'm getting to... Anon just told me his, er, r-real name..."
>The pint-sized dragon starts beaming at the two of you, his comic sliding out of his claws in neglect for this revelation.
>"Seriously?! It's about time, what is it what is it?!"
>Twilight clears her throat again, trying her best to keep composure for what's about to happen.
>"His, uh, real name is... H-hey Anon, why don't you-"
>She looks back as she attempts her last ditch effort, but your steely gaze stops her intently.
"Is there something wrong, Twi?"
>"NOPE! Nothing at all, hahaha..."
>Spike raises an eyebrow.
>"You're acting a little weird. Just tell me his name!"
>"...d..m..."
>Spike's ear twitches as it tries to hear Starass's wonderful impression of Butterhush.
>"I'm not a diamond dog, Twi, speak up."
>Twilight's blushing furiously, and once more she clears her throat to be heard more clearly.
>If she does it again you're going to stuff a lozenge down her throat.
>"Okay Spike, you're getting older, you're more mature... Anon's real name is Dickmongl-"
>She didn't even get to finish before Spike snorted loudly, covering his mouth with both hands to stop himself from laughing.
>It didn't work very well.
>"SPIKE!"
>"B-buthaha- y-you said D-dic-"
>"I know exactly what I said, and it's not funny! His name is Dickmongler, honest!"
>The dam breaks before it even gets erected.
>Spike's laughter fills the treebrary with its off-tune guffaws and snorts.
>Twilight promptly leaves the bedroom with you two inside, cheeks red as apples.

>>21315120
JOHN CENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>21324250
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN

>>21324164
this is gold

>>21324164

>The sight of Spike losing his shit makes your own sides launch into orbit, and the two of you share a really good laugh.
>Probably the best since you've gotten here.
>"Hhhahahahaa... Oh man, that was awesome... How'd you get her to say that, Anon?"
>It must keep going.
"My name's actually Dickmonger."
>Spike laughs much more calmly now, and waves you off.
>"C'mon, seriously. What'd you do?"
>You give him a stinkeye to accentuate your point.
"What do you mean? My actual name is Dickmongler Shitfaced McGee, but you can just call me shit."
>Spike now has a rather stunned look that reminds you of Twalot.
>"Wait, really?"
"Yep."
>You let it sink in for a moment, and Spike suddenly holds his head in surprise.
>"You're really being serious! That's awesome, I gotta go tell Snips and Snails about this!"
>With that, the little drake flings himself out of the petbed and runs out of the room, presumably to tell them.
>Oh, how your reputation will be tarnished by this...
>Who are you kidding, you don't have a reputation, do you?
>Most ponies in Ponyville know you as 'That bipedal green guy that cockslapped the Princess as a greeting.'
>You're pretty proud of that title.
>Dr. Dick Shit McGee, Professional Princess Penis Pounder, M.D.
>You step out of the bedroom and slide down the stairs' rail, and stop short to see Twilight sorting more books.
>She gets a fleeting glance at you, but ignores you completely.
>#rude
>Either way, you're not concerned with her, right now.
>The real question of the day is, who should you tell next?...
>...Fucking brilliant.

>>21324536

>...
>Day DICKSHIT in Equestria.
>After a wonderful morning of Twilicorn Tizzying, you take a nice stroll down to the Boutique.
>Your suit is stained all over the place with white goopy j- er, paint.
>Yeah, paint.
>You decided to go down and see if she can't rub one out- er, rub it out.
>Yeah, rub.
>And you're walking down the street, already seeing a few of the fillies and colts starting to snigger at you.
>Apparently rumors travel faster through the foals than they do on /b/.
>Wait, wrong board.
>Getting your mind off that subject, you arrive at the Carousel and give three swift knocks like Mr. McFeely from that one pedo show with the talking train or some shit.
>You know the one.
>A resounding lady-like voice is heard from inside.
>"Just a minute!~"
>Damn, you just thought of something awesome.
>Would it make you look childish, though?
>It probably would.
>Worth it.
>You turn around and unbuckle your pants, making sure nobody was close enough to see what you were doing.
>You slide them down a peg and bend over, starting to bang your abdomen like Dong Bongos.
>A few more seconds, and the shop's door opens, revealing a pristine white pony.
>"Hello, darl-"
>PHHHHHHHTHPTHTHPTHPTPHTBBHTBHTPH
>You unleash what's probably the most monstrous beast Equestria's ever faced.
>A triple-stacked burrito, cake-stuffed, ice cream-covered shitass pooter man.
>Your fart echoes out throughout the village, and goes right into Rarity's open mouth.
>The instant it happens, the realization of your ass in front of her face makes her back up as fast as she can, but its too late.
>Rarara wretches and gags as she tries to get the disgusting air out of her mouth and nostrils, while you quickly pull your pants back up.
>"Cghhuhuh- A-heeuuugh.... Anon, why-heEEeuUUHhh..."
"Oh, sorry Rares. That was pretty shitty of me, wasn't it?
>It looks like your backdoor bash was just a blitzkrieg, because she's already recovering, giving you an exasperated look.

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>>21315120
I am Alpharius.

>>21324595
>face farting while wearing a jizz suit
fuck off

>>21324621
I am Alpharius

But Twilight

Star systems would rise and fall in the time it takes to pronounce one letter of my true name.

>>21315120
My name is the Dawn of a New Age. It is the Bell that Tolls But Once in a Generation. It is the Sky that Calls, the Sea that Roars, and the Air that Flows and Breezes. My name is Eternity, and Time, and Space. FOR I AM ANONYMOUS!
>'I'll call you Dawn for short, then'

>>21315443
Not Important in Equestria fic when?

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>>21315120

>>21315551
>you have to say it
>writes it
>pretends to be kidnapped
C'mon now neger.

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>>21315120
I am like you, I have no name

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>>21324812
>I cum in pies

Muh sides

>>21315120
Jack T. Herbert

>>21322932
CHEEKIBREEKICHEEKIBREEKI

>>21324908
/k/ pls stay

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>>21324812
So I guess you could say that Buzz creampied a cream pie

>>21322932
AVVVV NUUUUUU

Israel Goldbergsteinwitz

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>>21315120
Just call me your mutually beneficial ally

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>>21323001
If dubs, then yes.

>>21315120
My name does not matter, what matters is my plan

>>21316253
are you going to cut people up with that edge?

>>21315120
Patrick Bateman

>>21315536
You know my number.

Discord.

*unzips mask*

>>21315146
underrated post

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My name?
Not important

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>>21315362
Sorry man, it looks like no one liked this.
>mfw also trying to impress people who do not care

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It doesn't matter who I am, what matters is my plan, which involves high impact sexual violence, >rape and marshmallows

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>>21315120
Decius Brutus, Purplebutt!

>>21315120
Mooseknuckle McHugendong.

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>>21315120
I am groot

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The closer you are to death, the more alive you feel. It's a wonderful way to live. It's the only way to drive

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>>21315120
I was the rape sloth this whole time, btw I always wanted to "RIDE" a pony.

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Frank West
I've covered wars you know

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People just call me coach.

>>21327359
beautiful edit anon

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>"..."

>>21315120
MY NAME ISNT IMPORTANT

I'm dirty dan

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>>21315120
...John

>>21315120
It's a me, Mario!

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>>21324744
No, you're Omegon. I'm Alpharius.

>>21315170
You doubt his skills?

Biggus Dickus.

>>21326940
>>21328431
These always get me

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>>21327025
It's okay. I realize that it's currently in the mind of popular culture, and therefore totally uncool on fortune. I understand. I, understand.

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>>21328210
Coooaaach

>>21330327
Cunting fuckbags
I meant to reply to
>>21327682

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They used to call me Prophet. Remember me.

>>21328899
double dubs confirm Monte python in equestria.

>>21330433
My name is Naughtius Maximus

>>21330327
Kiddieland!

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>>21331497

MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIID!
KID ROCK!!

>>21315120
faggot

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>>21322932

"I? I am a monument to all your sins."

>>21315120
Cotton eye Joe.

Walter

Brian Hugh Warner

>>21315120
My name is…

Shake zula, the mic rula, the old schoola, you want a trip, I’ll bring it to ya

>>21315120

I AM GROOT!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htWFMyKSy8o

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>>21324595
>Jizz painted suit
Reminds me of that one greentext story with anon and Flitter You Can't Outfly the Helicopter pic kind of related

>>21315120

Chris Chandler

>>21315120
Thomas the Tank Engine

>Implying namefag
Jesus fucking Christ Twilight Spergle!
I'm genuinely insulted that you would think so lowly of me!

>>21316253
Oh hi, Orochimaru

no more bumps, only sleep now

>>21315120
> Oh, "Anon" is actually A.N.O.N, aka my full name initials, Twilimp."

>>21324621
>Shut the fuck up Omegon, people are trying to tell who we fucking are for once

>>21315120
I told you, I have amnesia. I think. I don't remember anything before I got through the portal. Am I even speaking English or is this some sort of universal translator?

>>21315120
That's one of the biggest immersion breakers for me. I can't help but imagine the characters saying 'Anon' or 'Nonny' so it just saps whatever was set. Especially when it's supposed to be first or second person. Just doesn't make sense.

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Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz!

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I, AM VIKTOR REZNOV! And I, will have my revenge!

>>21338115
I killed the thread and I'm amused by it.

>>21315120
Anonymous

My name is anon Y. moose its a common name in my world

Lauren Faust

>>21315353
It's also a scary thing because it can happen at anytime in a person's life if they enter a fugue state.

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>>21315120
Slab Bulkhead!

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>>21339783
Buff Drinklots!

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>>21339795
Crunch Buttsteak!

Et cetera.

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>>21339783
>>21339795
>>21339804
So, you guys saw 'Space Mutiny', too?

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>>21339881
>Not recognizing blatant samefagging

The 1 minute between posts gives it away.

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>>21315120
I'm the driver

>>21315120
My name cannot be pronounced in pony tongue

>>21315120
William Fisher

>>21323827
i had one job...

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>>21324164
>The dam breaks before it even gets erected.
I like that, I'm gonna use it.

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>>21315120
Halo. My naem ees Inigo Motoya. You keel my father. Prepare to die...

>>21341676
*Montoya

>>21315145
>>21315510
Retarded cancerous newfags need to leave. They don't even know how to candlejack prope

>>21323357
pls?

>>21315120
Dixie Rekt

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>>21315120
I am The Revolution.

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>>21343473
This board has more need of me than I have of this board.

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>>21315120
Say it.

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>>21319722
trigun's the shit

>>21343500
>Implying we need imperialism right now

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>>21325994
you can borrow my pair for jamesy

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>>21343565
You motherfucker, I read that in his voice.