Octavia is a Britbong

>>20202844
Oh god. My sides at the first sentence

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>>20202844
>YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SUM FREE GRUB ANNA SHAG!
You just made my day. Thank you OP. I can't wait to see what obnoxious britbong she spouts when anon plants his American flag in her ass.

>>20202844
As a britbong nothing turns me off more than whatever the hell this is.

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> "I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OV LIKKER ON THA MASH!"

"We serve food here ma'am."

>>20202979
OH god. Not you too! My sides!

>>20202844
>>20202859
>>20202894
>>20202920
>>20202979
>>20202984
samefag

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>>20202995
Nice try.

>>20202844
Oh man, this is great.
Part of me wants people to keep going with this, another part thinks this could wear thin quickly.
These short one-post stories could work, perhaps?

>>20202844
I still can't stand that they did this, I'm not even an Octaviafag.
But OP, you made lemonade out of pure piss. Cheers, you cheeky cunt.

>>20202844
... crap...
She's still cute.

OP ere. Dunt get upset Britfags. Oim a Britfag an all innoi. Before RR I always imagined Octavia had a sophisticated, classy voice. I think most of us did. Then she spoke.

Oi fakkin pissed meself diddentoi. Aw many edcannons died that day.

>>20203575
If I could figure out how to type like that I'd do so much fucking green. god this is gold. Anyone got the clip of her talking?

>>20203575
The funny things is that she actually wasn't speaking in her normal voice. She was yelling. I wouldn't go on and call her a britbong just like that.
But I still find these things fuckin' hilarious. Thanks OP, gg.

This was beautiful.

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>>20203575
>EqG
>destroying headcanon

>>20202844
I want to see a part two where they finish dinner and Octavia is randy as hell. Britbong sex!

>>20202844
i want a loud, aggresive britbong waifu

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>>20202844
Should've gone down the pub. They'll serve pie 'n' mash.
She'd also be sorted on the larger side of things.
I'd go for good ol' fish 'n' chips and a shandy cos I'm a lightweight.
I'm buggered on what to do after that.

Got a mate who talks like that. People keep telling him to stop effing and jeffing in public as there's usually kiddites in earshot running amok.

Octavia only had a hint of an English accent in the movie, certainly not on the levels of whatever this is.

>>20205032
I think the entire /mlp/ acknowledges this fact, but come on anon, this is fucking hilarious

>>20205032
>only had a hint
What? It was terrible. Nails on a blackboard.

>>20204963
*sorted on the lager side

>>20205123
It was a fragment. And it wasn't spoken in her "normal" voice, anyways. She was furious.

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>>20205143
Tavifag with freshly destroyed headcanon voice detected!

>>20205286
I would actually like to hear her speak in her normal voice, not in that screamy-angry voice
But I still find threads like these hilarious. Based OP is based

>>20205032
>in the movie
Damn: I haven't seen any of EqG.
Is there a clip somewhere?

>>20204101
i need more of this!!!!

>>20202844
>Despite everything, dinner was kind of a success. After the restaurant you took Octavia to a bar, and except for one small scene where she'd decided another girl in the room was 'lookin at me funny' you both had a good time.
>You walk her home. She goes to the front door, and turns to you.
"YOU CUMMIN' IN OR WOT?"
"Well, I..."
"YOU AINT GOTTA BE SHY WIV ME MATE. BOTH SINGLE INT WE? AND I'M GASPIN FOR A BUNK UP. AINT AD ME LEG OVER FOR A MONTH OR SUMFIN."
>It's too tempting to refuse. You just wish there was... a little more romance involved.
>Octavia gets a six-pack out of the fridge and leads you upstairs by the hand. You get an eye-level view of her perfect butt moving in her skirt, and start to get excited despite your misgivings.
>Slightly to your surprise, her room is feminine, neat and tidy. She puts some music on - Schumann's Ghost Variations.
>You watch as she peels down her long white socks, and lays back on her bed.
"WELL DUNT JUST STAND THERE YOU SOFT TWAT, GET YER KEX OFF!"
>You both shed your clothes and lay together. Your hand caresses her soft, grey curves. She smells wonderful.
"OY OY, NO TOUCHIN' ME TITS YET MATE! I LIKE A LORRA FOREPLAY ME."
>Ignore the voice, just feel the sensations, ignore the voice, just feel the...
WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
>Octavia leaps to her feet, completely nude.
"YOU AV GOTTA BE AVING A FAKKIN LARF!!"
>She hammers on the wall.
"VOINYL! TURN THAT FAKKIN NOISE DAHN!!"
"It's OK..."
"NO IT FAKKIN ENT! I CARNT BONK WITH THAT FAKKIN RAKKIT GOIN ON! VOINYL!"
>She grabs a dressing gown and dashes into the corridor. You hear her in the next room.
"OY!!! CARNT YOU SHUT UP FOR FIVE MINITS YOU FAKKIN JUNKIE TART! I WOS JUST ABAHT TO GET ME BUM DONE!"
"Well, don't let me stop you."
"YOU AV STOPPED ME! PLAYING THAT FAKKIN NOISE!"
"That NOISE happens to be Digital Mystikz ACTUALLY, and I don't complain when you play that viola all night!"
"ITS A CHELLER YOU CUNT!"
>You gaze wistfully at your now completely limp member.

>Octavia Britbong thread

I'm just gonna put this here

>>20202009
>>20202035

>>20205545
>"ITS A CHELLER YOU CUNT!"

kek. Proceed.

>>20205789
>no allcaps yelling

0/10 kill yourself

>>20203007
Kek

Britbong to Britbong here where in terms of England do you think Octavia gets her accent from?

im debating between London, Manchester, Kent / Medway

>>20205545
Oh lord. this is gold

>>20207168
do some brits really talk like this?

>>20207168
Well, I'm poor with telling people's accents, but whichever accent's stereotypical of a fat builder bloke.

>>20207168
Canada

>>20207566
Yeah, if youre cockney

>>20205545
... M-more? Please?

I'd write, but I can't do that accent justice. I have no idea how to write out a cockney accent

I read octavia part like a if its was a English guy talking I try to make her sound female but no it still sounds like a guy I watch soccer with

>>20209079
Easy solution: we use R63 Tavi for these stories instead

>>20209110
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Sob1t-iUCmE
It's her talking upper class

Can someone post a video or something of a person using the accent that Octavia is supposed to have?

>>20209158
Above

>>20209194
I mean the "britbong" accent

imagine phonesex with her

>>20209308
I have to admit I'd banger her mash.

>>20209390
>"OY! PLOYIN WIT YER TALLWHACKA TA ME CUNT MATE? YER A DIRTY LIL GIT! COR BLIMEY, ME CLAM'S WIT!

>>20209293
I imagine it as the big cog from conker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4g9RXcfypM

>>20209574
>that "Southern" cog
Jeez. Now I know how y'all Brits feel.

I'd only sixy bonger her tombly womly

>You are Anon, a student in Canterlot High.
>It is chemistry class, and the teach wants everyone in groups of two.
>You smiled to yourself, and gave Pinkie Pie -the eyes-
>She returned the gaze with a smug smile that said "we gon work together niggaaaaa"
>But that stopped once you heard the teacher say that your partner would be the person sitting next to you.
>Shieeeeet.
>You turn your head, and see... Octavia.
>She was scratching her crotch.
>Gross.
>"Hey Octavi-"
"OI OI ANAN. LOOKS LAHK WE WORKIN TOGATHER YE?"
>"Yeah, we are working together...."
>Kill me.
>Pinkie cringed in your direction and shrugged, turning away.
>"Octav-"
"WOT MATE?"
>"Stop yelling."
"ME YELLIN? MAYBE YOU NEED TA SPEAK UP ANAN. ME GRAN GRAN SPEAKS LOUDER THAN YOU SHE DOES. TWAT."
>r00d
"ANAN WOT THE FOK WE DOIN? BLIMEY IF A 'AD A NOTE FO' ERRY TIME AH PAID OTTENSION A'D BE A RICH CUNT I TELLS YA."
>Face. Desk.
>Its gonna be a long class.
"BLOODY 'ELL FOKS WRONG WIF YOU TODAI ANANEMIS. YER ALWAYS BEIN A QUIET ONE YOU IS. D'YOU FANCY ME? IZ THAT ET?"
>"It's definitely not that, Octa-"
"O SO YOU TINKS AM NAWSTY? BILLY-NO MATES SGOT SUM
BULLOCKS NAW. "
>"What!? No! I don't think you're nasty, Oc-"
"WELL TEN? WOT IS IT, DIVVY?"
>"Nothing! Stop fucking interrupting me!"
>>"ANONYMOUS. I will NOT permit such language in the classroom. I am calling security to escort you out. That is a zero for you on today's assignment.
>FACE.
>DESK.
"Gormless duffer."
>She scratched her crotch again.
First time wroitin. Be gentle.

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>>20210144

>>20209158
I all I can think of after reading the story is this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpokjMDGM60

>>20210144
So Octavia can say 'cunt' and 'foks', but Anon is on probation?

something like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-afCY7iTFnY

>>20205386
No.

>>20210257
>implying the teacher understands birtbong

does anyone have a link to a clip of britbong octavia in the new movie?

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>>20209079
watch MTV UK

then youll understand

>mfw watching BBC version of Jersey Shore when staying dublin for a couple of weeks

>>20209462
Please, ano,n my dick can only get so erect.

I would ask her to play Killing Floor with me

>>20210530
>"YA PECKA GETTIN ARD INNIT? WANNA SHOVE IT IN ME MINGE?"

>>20210571
>man wiping sweat off brow with a Union Jack.png

>>20210617
kek

>>20210737
Think I would ruin Burberry. Oi will fokin bash yer ead in m8.

>>20210964
MOIND YER FAKKIN MANNERS YA WANKER! OIL SMASH YA FAKKIN BACONS INTA A BARRY WHOITE ARMY! THEN SPLIT YE BISCUIT MATE! YA REEK OF BRIGHTON.

>>20211025
OI! YE FEKKIN MADE ME CUM IN M' KNICKERS!

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>there are people in this quadrant of the galaxy that vocalize like this
jesus, am i glad we kicked your fucking asses out

>>20210571
i dont feel comfortable sticking anything inside a minge.

g-guys, what's a minge?

>>20211623
>>20211623
A bajoiner, m8

>>20210467
whats the name of the show. "bbc version of jersey shore" isnt working

>>20210617
>man wiping sweat off brow with Octavias Union Jack thong.png

Fix'ed

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>>20211637
>bajoiner
>vajoiner
>vagioner
>vaginer
>vagina
oooooooooooohhhhh... i get it... ewww

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>>20211667
>mfw

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>>20202979
Sides... sides, have changed

any ye ave a video of er in EQG2. I fakkin sawr it in the talkies on openin day but I nary remember wot the fak she sounded loik

>>20211681
OI ADAM, AN EVE IT! FIS WANKER FINKS ME CLAM IS ANCIENT GREEK! YEH AUNTIE ANNIE IS ANCIENT GREEK MATE! YEH BARNEY MATE

>>20212321
neva moind m80s i look at me a camrip and sawr it agen an oi sey she's got quoitte the voioice

CAPTCHA: 2008

Here's how i would romances this little situation.
>Grab her neck and chock here until she passes out and goes completely
un-conscience.
>Get a handkerchief and tie it to her fucking mouth

>Take her to a fucking shead and brainwash her until we get rid if that rubbish accents, like in that one terrible episode of family guy. Except with dexters lab and no obmledo framage

>Three take here body home and put her to bed then spray some water at her and run when she wakes up
>Four rape her the next day cause you also brainwash her to fuck that English ass up

>>20212565
>Not wanting Chavtavia.
Is ye a fokkin bender m8?

>>20204101
Fuck that's really good.

Do you have the artist's name?

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>>20212565
>Everything in this post
>especially the grammar and spelling

>be anon
>you and Octavia have recently moved in together
>for the first time in weeks she and you have finally got some time to relax
>fittingly, it's snowing outside
>comfy_as_fuck.webm
>like a lot
>being good ol' bongland, snow usually comes in two flavours
>"what do you mean it's snowing?" and "ICE FOR THE ICE GOD CLOSED ROADS FOR THE INCONVENIENCE THRONE"
>guess which one it was
>it wasn't too bad though, the two of you were huddled together on the sofa under a Burberry blanket with hot chocolate (hers had a dash of white lightening in of course)
>you're watching the Jeremy kyle show when a familiar face arrives on screen, and the dulcet tones of an angel sound in your ear
"OI, IS THAT MOI FEKKIN NAN? HAS SHE BEEN STEALING ME BRAVVAS DOLE MONEY AGAIN? BLEEDIN COW"
>such is life in mother bongland with your waifu

>>20212990
>mother bongland
kejelol

be Anon
>your at home in human-ville and are watching a new show 'tavia-street' where a film crew follow the only britbong in human-ville
>"on today's episode Octavia goes 'shopping'"
"OYE YOU FOOKING PIKEY'S STOP FILMING ME IM TRYING TO SHUV DIS KATE MOSS PERFUME UP MAH MINGE"
>and later she discovers that she's pregnant with a mysterious lovers baby...
>you face palm as you remember that horrible night constant yelling of "STICK YOUR JIMMY IN MY MINGE AWWWWWHHH YEAHHHH DATS RIGHT UP MAH CUNT AND AFTER DAT UP MY ASS YOU DIRTY TWAT"
"HOLY FUCK I CANT BELIEVE IT... OYE M8 HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I COULD SELL DIS THING FOR DOWN THE ORPHONAGE?, BETTER YET HOW MUCH BENEFITS DO I GET FROM THIS THING!?!?!"
>"and finally she encounters some 'yanks' who give her a hard time"
"YOU DIRTY FUCKING YANKY CUNTS TAKING THE PISS OUT OF ME BEACUSE IVE GOT APPARENT BAD TEETH YOUR PROBERLY BROTHERS AND FUCKING SISTERS BORN OUT YOUR MOMS ASSHOLE, 1776 IS THE ONLY DAY YOU PEOPLE GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SO YOU CAN TAKE THE PISS OUT OF ME WILL FUCK YOU, YOU DIRTY CUN..."
>the camera goes to static for a minute and then returns to the narrator
>"yep all this and more on tavia-stree...."
>you decided to switch the TV off since even though taking all your aspirin and paracetamol and should actually be dead you've still got a booming headache

there is a mini-write fag don't hate on meh im still a scrub in terms of making green text spoiler text and all that good stuff but 'tavia-street' was supposed to be a rip-off of benefits street a show we have here in britbong land

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>>20213117
I thought it was pretty funny, one write-fag to another.

>>20213016
glad you liked that m90

>>20213240

thanks m8 you should have a go no one here is negative since its so 'unique' the way Octavia yells I bet you could write a Oscar winning piece in comparison to my first attempt

http://youtu.be/4ekLcUyDWaU
Octavia sound like the girl from brave

>>20213899
nice foking dubz, m8

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>>20202844

I fucking kek'd hard.

>>20213899
>scottish
>not cockney utonDis asd

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>>20202844
Never again shall I look upon Octavia without hearing the shrill, raspy cry of "YEH OLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT?"

>>20211639

I think he means Geordie Shore

>>20214130

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx2UB8WI8f8

what the fuck is this shit

>>20202844

hey OP its me the what accent do you think Octavia has I think after watching this video can we agree it being perhaps Geordie what do you anon's think??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYta-01f3lg

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>>20202844

11/10

>>20212894
>>20204101
I think catfoodmcfly did this

>>20202844
My headcanon is that Octavia acts all prim and proper, but when she loses her patience, she turns full britbong

>>20214130
>Geordie Shore
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vXj6EOMGLc
wtf is going on, there is no cronology, no one thing before the next... its very strange

>>20214562

So its just like this then?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r86BJkLZp9w

>>20214602
Yeah, but only more extreme.

"Vinyl please turn down your music, there's an audition tommorow, and I really need to practice, so if you would be so kinda as to-"
>"Sorry Octy, got hit by something, I don't know what, but I'm calling it inspiration, and I can't stop now. I'm in the zone"
"Look, Vinyl, I'm sure this is good for your music, but I just-"
>"Shhh, Octy I can't hear the music"
"Vinyl, please, ma patience is gettin pretty thin here, so I'm gonna ask again real nicely. Please,"
>WHAT WAS THAT!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE WUBS!!"
"I SAID IF I CON' PLAY MAH BLOODY CHELLAR I'LL BE SHOVIN ENTIER THANG YAR FOIKIN ASSHOLE, UNTUL YOUR COPHIN UP SPLINTAS YOU GOIDDAM SMEGPOT!!!"
>"... I'll just put on some headphones"

>>20212242
>Octavia has British accent
>edit her over Fiora
>has a French accent

OI YA FAKKIN IDIOT YA DUN REKKED THE HOLE FING

>>20207871
Needs more rhyming slang Octavia. I'll get some green done when I'm back from work if this thread's still alive

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Bump

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Don't kn ow why this hasn't been posted eairlier

Guy who wrote the thing linked in >>20205789 here.

I just wrote a little more R63!Britbong Octavia green for the R63 thread. Anyone mind if I crosspost it here, or would it be better if I just linked it?

>>20214996
>mfw i cum

>>20215056
Thanks guy. Glad you continued it. Keep us updated

>>20215091
Will do.

Anyway, since no-one's actually objected outright to the idea of me crossposting the green, I'm just gonna go ahead and do that.

===

>You are Octavius
>And you are in your dressing room, getting ready to head home after a very long performance
>Placing your cello away into its wheeled case, you raise your hooves to your throat to unclip your bowtie and collar
>With your throat now free, you grunt as you audibly crack your neck
"Bloody hell... I needed that."
>You unceremoniously dump your obtrusive accessories into the case, closing it afterwards
>Hitching it to yourself, you're about to leave when the phone sitting on the dresser catches your attention
>You remember that Vinyl has tonight off work, and you haven't really gotten to spend much time with her recently
>Trotting back in, you hook one hoof around the hoofset, using the other to key in Vinyl's number on the rotary dial
>You hold the hoofset to your head as the phone rings once
>Twice...
>Thrice...
>*click*
>"Yo, this is Vinyl," you hear your friend answer. "Who's calling?"
"Oi, Vinyl."
>"Octavius?! Dude, it's been ages!"
"I know, right? Been bloody donkey's years. Anyway, I was thinkin'..."

Whoops, left my trip on.

>>20215219
>Idly, you mess up your mane with a free hoof as you trail off
>"Yeah, 'Tavius?" Vinyl's voice sounds positively enthusiastic over the receiver. "What were you thinking?"
"Well... You free around six bong? Was thinkin' we could head out for tea tonight. Just you an' me."
>"Dude, are you..." Vinyl's voice quietens down to a whisper as she answers. "Are you, like... asking..."
>Though you hold the hoofset close, you can't quite make out the last few words
"You what, mate?"
>"Huh?" Your friend seems jolted by your question. "Oh, uh... nevermind, dude," she finally answers, sighing. "So, anyway, you said six? How about seven?"
"Seven bong? Eh, I'm easy. It's a date."
>You pause, realising the potential implications of what you just said
"Uh... that is, it's um, not in the romantic sense... unless you, uh... in which case..."
>Vinyl cackles hysterically over the receiver as you fumble over your words
>"Keep digging, dude," she finally answers, suppressing her laughter to snorts. "You might reach Ger-mane-ia at this rate!"
"Get stuffed, Vinyl. Just... gah. Seven bong. I'll pick you up. Cheers."
>Finally calming down, Vinyl hmms in agreement. "Pick up at seven. Got it. See you, 'Tavius."

>>20215233
>A few hours later, you find yourself standing at Vinyl's doorstep
>You raise your hoof, reaching towards the doorbell
>Pressing it down, however, you hear nothing but a dull click
>Quietly, you grumble to yourself
"Bugger."
>You clear your throat before taking in a deep breath
"OOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIII!"
>The noise you unleash is less of a shout and more of a guttural, earth-shaking roar
>Either way, though, it certainly seems to have gotten the attention of a certain blue-maned unicorn now poking her head out of her window
>Along with every other pony on this street, it seems
>"Dude!" Your old friend glares at you, clearly irritated. "I -have- a doorbell, 'Tavius."
"Yeah, but it's knackered, innit?"
>You push the button on the broken doorbell in full view of Vinyl to emphasise your point
>"Oh." Her expression softens as she calms down. "Actually," she continues, putting a hoof to her chin, "that does explain a lot...huh."
"Yeah. So, y'just about ready up there?"
>"Almost," she says, pulling her head back in. "I'll be right there."

>>20215240
>Surely enough, the door opens a couple of minutes later
>Vinyl stands before you in the doorway, her mane neatly tied into a bun
>Now that you see her close-up, you're fairly certain she's also wearing at least some makeup, complete with ivory lipstick
>It's quite the contrast to your now-thoroughly scruffed hair and total lack of accessories
>Looking your friend up and down, you reach behind your neck, scratching the back of your head in bewilderment
"Why're you all tarted up like that, anyway?"
>"O-oh, um..." Vinyl's eyes shift away for a moment, seemingly nervous
>Wait, nervous?
>Since when did Vinyl Scratch get nervous? Especially around you?
>"Well, 'Tavius, you said 'tea', right?"
"Yeah, what of it?"
>"It's just, y'know," she continues, looking back to you, "all the tea parlours around Manehattan are pretty swanky, so..."
"You friggin'... ugh."
>Sighing, you bury your face into your hoof as you shake your head
"Not -that- kind of tea, Vinyl."
>Deadpan, the mare stares silently at you, awaiting your explanation
"Uh... bloody hell, what's it in Manehattanish...? Right! Dinner. We're, uh, goin' to dinner."
>"Ooohhh," she responds, nodding. "That kind of tea. Now I got you, dude."
"Yeah. Sorry 'bout that."
>The pair of you share a brief chuckle over the misunderstanding

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Oh Yobtavia...

>>20215247
>As the two of you quieten down, though, you come back to the subject at hand
"So, what do you reckon of goin' to that pub down the road, the ol' Red Manticore? The drinks are a bit rubbish, but their salad's the dog's bollocks."
>"I dunno, 'Tavius," Vinyl replies, "I heard they had some kind of rat problem there lately."
"Rats? Gah. Grotty little bastards..."
>You shudder as the image of a rat-infested kitchen enters your mind
"Fuck that, then. Any places you fancy goin' instead?"
>"Well..." Vinyl grins as an idea comes to her. "We could try Pony Joe's Tavern."
"Wait, Joe's runnin' a tavern now?"
>You give your friend a nonplussed expression as you speak
"I thought that ol' sod just did donuts an' donut accessories."
>"Nah, dude does all sorts of pastries and stuff now. And," she notes, growing excited, "the cider's totally kickass! Apple Family stuff, straight from Ponyville!"
"Brilliant. Let's go, then."
>"Wait."
>Vinyl's voice stops you dead in your tracks
>"I should get... this... cleaned up before we head out," she explains, gesturing with a hoof towards her face and mane
>As she reaches up to undo her bun, however, you move in towards her
>You hold her hoof still with your own, looking into her bright magenta eyes
"You're fine as is. Let's hit the frog and toad."

===

And that's it for now. Will probably write more later.

>"Bloody hell, yer royal hahhness. Oi'm sorry bat am not lickin' dat aaht again." Said Starswirl, as he brought his dampened muzzle out from between the Sun princess' parted hindlegs. "It were like eatin' sushi off a barbershop floor, it were."

>>20215254
Also, bin link.

http://pastebin.com/V1n455uJ

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This thread has me positively frothing with patriotic fervour.

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>>20202844
>tfw your waifu's a roit propa geezer

>"Oi, Anon, give us a fag and Oi'll let ya' stick it in me arse, yeah?"

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>>20216258
Who the fok are yer calling poofters?!
We've all come ta see yer minge an' stonking tits!

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>>20216258
catfood-mcfly is dat you?

Not an UKfag here
But the term "Britbong" refers to British?
And are the British speak a little more... "Sophisticated" than that?

I think Octavia is Scottish

Oh, it fucks my headcanon so much

>>20216444
>the term "Britbong" refers to British?
Aye.
>the British speak a little more... "Sophisticated" than that?
Not the working class. They speak pretty much like that.

>>20216444
>I think Octavia is Scottish
How dare you, sir.

>>20216470
>working class
Anon, please, just call them scum.

>>20216444
britbong here
>implying we speak sophisticated

>>20216258
More of this.

>>20216470
Intresting

>>20216474
Anon plz
Playing with stereotypes is so amusing

>>20216480
>scum
The worker class deserves some respect, too
They build your houses/flat

Atleast they are not fucking niggers that doesnt do any shit all day; and they get subsidized by the loca goverment

>>20216486
Oh
That destroys my real-life headcanon

>>20216486
Jersey here and I used to speak almost impeccable Queen's English until secondary school during which time I started talking pretty much like everybody else. I've been told our accents over here are reminiscent of a South African's, but honestly I don't hear it. Not even when I'm calling people filthy fookin' prawns.

>"Give us a tenna, Anon, and I'll give ya' a wankjob behind the bins."

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>>20216480
Mr Cameron, please.

>>20216527
some britbongs do speak with the classic accent, but they're in goverment i.e the prime minister, queen ect
>>20216530
my accent is pretty neutral until i start saying britbong words

>>20216429
Fakking rite it is, you nonce.

Fun fact: My mother has a veneer of sophistication, but she was bladdy well born in Mile End 'orspital and at the least provocation she starts torking like that innit.

When Octavia was just cool and beautiful and I imagined spoke like a little Duchess I liked her, but I wasn't much interested. Since Rainbow Rocks, she is now my favourite background girl. It's orl them wogs cummin ova, innit!

>>20216577
They are scum. They're like this country's equivalent of inner city niggers except with the dress sense and alcoholism of a Slav.

>>20216574
Who the Hell would pay £10 for a handjob?

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>>20216527
We don't all speak like there's a foghorn lodged in our throats. There are plenty of us with neutral accents, my family being a good example. We're all fairly well spoken until we get together at Christmas and get drunk, and then it's all ROIT PROPER BRITSPEAK INNIT.

>>20216444
You are a fucking idiot. Just putting that out there.

Learn what British actually means.

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It's way funnier if she doesn't look as horrible as she sounds, but I still can't help but imagine her like this, the more of her speech I read.

>>20216625
CATFOOD SIR WE LOVE YOU

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>>20216734
ayy lmao

>>20216740
Octavia is Viki Pollard?

>>20216808
eeYup

>>20216740
This reminded me of this. This whole thread in fact, reminds me of this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb-f8CTafHs

>>20216808

Imagine if Derpy's life was life that of Andy and Lou

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Oy, ye been lookin' in me fookin eyes a wank-load , Anon. Aye, if I wasn't completely convinced otherwise, I'd say ye fancy me more than the most pompous fag in all a England.

>>20216845
>What time's Bottom on?
>Bottom
>Rik Mayall
I didn't ask for these feels.

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>>20216903
>I'd say ye fancy me more than the most pompous fag in all a England.

what do fags have do with being a toff?

>>20216947
Not that kind of fag ye ape, a fookin smoke.

>>20216903
Show us yer minge, love.

>>20216674
Somebody with no brains. Especially if they think Tavi won't just get some of her Burberry clad mates to fak 'em up proper.

>>20216955
We call em tabs now, ya fookin gobshite.

>>20216947
The chav on the left look arguably less scummy than the other two.

>>20216955

still, not a posh thing. They got cigars, demm big cuban things.

>>20216978
Well fook me straight up the minge.

>>20216890

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYIhH5fxMNI

>>20202844
At least she's not a fucking Australian.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmL72sgVdAQ

>>20216977
Timothy got his shit proper.

>>20216991

My little Britain

>Octavia is Vicky Pollard
>Carrot Top and Derpy are Andy and Lou
>Twilight is Sebastian working for Celestia

>>20207566
See the 'Bet free sicks foiv' adverts guy.

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>>20216926

Goddamnit

>>20217049
Oh crap, I just imagined Tavi as the birds on AbFab.
The old version.

>>20216758
Wait, there was an OLD Jersey?!

>>20217111
Or fuck it Billie Piper.

>>20217117

What if she was on Birds of a Feather with Vinyl?

>>20217129
Yes, but then we shipped all our idiots and degenerates to New Jersey.

>>20217129

Yeah, its an awesome little island, important to WWII, along with all the other Channel Islands

>>20217137
I can't read that name without picturing her getting fucked repeatedly in that "Secret diary of a callgirl" series and immediately popping a boner.

>>20217151
>awesome
Eh... The only good thing about living here is the gun laws.

>>20217138

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8d-2F9Uuus

>>20217049
Spitfire is Lewis Hamilton

>>20217186

True, but I was speaking as a tourist

>>20217186
You expected more from the islands France didn't want?

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>>20216903
Okay, this shit is starting to turn me on...

>>20216258
Please show boobies.

>>20217271
For an island they didn't want they sure seemed determined to take it.

>>20217284
>"Ya' lookin' at me arse, Anon? Get ya' knob out then ya' grotty little wanker."

>>20217284
Me too.
I even had a dream Octavia had her ass in the air with her cheeks spread, and she goes:
"OI~ DON'T JUST STAND THER YA SOFT TWAT! SLAM IT IN MY BUM, AND FILL ME WIF YA ARMY!"

>>20217369
It came part and parcel with England. You have to take them when you slog it out for a hundred years.

>>20217428
>Tfw Octavia will never kick you in the bollocks and call you a grotty little wanker.

>>20217137
>>20217173
Wait, she's still a thing?

>>20217631
I don't know, but that callgirl series is a good few years old now. Look it up on pornmd, it's pretty good as far as the sex scenes go.

>>20217665

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1eLExR1CJg

>>20202979
good shit m8 lost hard

>"Naff off, Anon, I don't do it up the shitter till the fourth date."

>>20202844
>"YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SUM FREE GRUB ANNA SHAG!"
I can't read Arab speak!

>>20218003
Allow me to translate.

"Yes, very well then, why not? Far be it from me to pass up the opportunity for a little conversation over dinner... and perhaps more.

>>20218103
Ah! We have a translator for the white people! Smashing!

>>20218213
Or

"Aight fo sho bae, I's gonna gets me sum frah chikun dem Imma ride yo black ass, bitch."

>>20218327
yet you suck as a black translator. We don't talk like that at all!

>>20218350
No, but niggers do.

>>20218382

shieeeeeeeeeeeet

wait you guys were all saying were britbongs but you know what fuck that we're actually eng-fags unless you come from Scotland, Ireland / wales I am just going to say all those in the English region of the UK are not britbongs but instead eng-fags so is Octavia with her Geordie / south-east accent fuck you Scottish bastards hogging our cannon

>>20218382
Pretty much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5MGJ87hPGw

>>20218382
Not even niggers. They have a new way of speaking now. You have to sound as close to a rapper as possible. Allow me.
>"YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SUM FREE GRUB ANNA SHAG!"
Nigger translation:
Yea boo. Let's do it. Get summa day gudda gudda, and later we can get it in...BEAT IT UUUUUP."

Note how nearly nothing in that sentence could be interpreted as "Okay. Let's go eat, and maybe engage in carnal pleasures afterwards!"
But it instead sounds like a down syndrome monkey talking out the side of its mouth.

I also appreciate you know the difference between those filthy, ebola carrying moon crickets, and black people

wait you guys were all saying were britbongs but you know what fuck that we're actually eng-fags unless you come from Scotland, Ireland / wales I am just going to say all those in the English region of the UK are not britbongs but instead eng-fags so is Octavia with her Geordie / south-east accent fuck you Scottish bastards hogging our theory which could become potential cannon GLORY TO ENG-FAGS GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

>>20218461
Is this a general scum thread now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqyU2z-FJr8

>>20218593
Are you generally a dumbass?
The thread is an Octavia is a britbong dipshit. Just because we stray off topic a little doesn't change its purpose faggot

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>>20218856

>>20218959
This isn't /pol/ moron. Start up some shit like a "General Scum thread" and this shit will get scruffed quick. Use your fucking brain for something more than deciding what reaction image to use faggot

>>20218479
>Yes, very well then, why not? Far be it from me to pass up the opportunity for a little conversation over dinner... and perhaps more.
Yo yeea , very well then, why not? Far be it from me ta pass up da opportunity fo' uh little conversation ova dinner... an' perhaps mo' in the hood

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>>20218991

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>>20212990
pls write more... I want to see moar britbong Octvia with anon madly in love with her despite all logic... preferably with Octavia scaring/offended the general populous as they go on fancy dates, or Octavia seducing anon with the subtlety and finesse of thrown brick to the back of the head

>>20204101
if it wan'st for that nose....

>>20219415
She's wrinkling it in disgust at your Anonny antics.

So any small clip about her talking on the movie?

>>20202844
>rip in kill my Austrian Octavia headcanon

the only times i heared this britbong accent is on movies about fat people on "pubs" plotting about doing something ilegal or just talking about soccer and hitting eachother.

>>20214147
My new
f
avorite youtube video

>>20214666
satan confirms

>>20203575
She had ONE line in the entire movie, and she didn't sound anything like the OP. She's probably the smart classy kind of british, not the bar-going football-watching swearing-every-other-word type british.

>>20212990
>DOLE MONEY
Is that a fancy word for money for buying bananas with?

>>20220351
It's job seeker's allowance that the unemployed get to make ends meet whilst getting employed again.
Of course, some people only claim to be looking for jobs whilst spending it all on booze and flat-screen TVs.

>>20220351
Dole is Commonwealth-speak for government-provided unemployment benefits.

>>20220409
Interesting.

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So can we call Cockney Octavia Cocktavia?

>>20202844

>>20220629
It's Chavtavia y' fakkin wanker.

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>>20220692
>mfw seeing this pic

>>20209158
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wgcOsTY1iY
I imagine it like Kelly from Misfits

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>>20202844

Scotland should be independent and not getting shafted by David Cameron.

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>>20220747
Hey, those aren't The Misfits!

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>>20220750

bruv, stop yer moanin you'll get yer devolution soon.

fucking bollocks, WALES GET BACK HERE MATE

oi, choice bit of waifu innit?

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>>20220781

You are an utter bitch.

VOTE UKIP

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>>20220817

ITT: UKIP RULES

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>>20220829

UKIP are fucking scum, but the BNP triumphs in racism.

>tfw UKIP will never get a majority government in Scotland
>tfw no feels

LABOUR 4 LIFE MATE

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>Implying any of you will be old enough to get this

>>20220864
What, spice girls?

>>20220864
i got it

>>20220864
>implying that wasn't the jam back in elementary school

>>20220864

Oh my god this throws me back.

Writefags please we need more. If not to wank, then to ave a giggle.

>>20220864
Also:
>Say the word minge once, and everyone uses it
You know I only heard it because I looked at that south park episode about oprah's pussy, and asshole angry due to neglect

>>20220817

Bloody nobody wants ta vote UKIP you walloper, I'd rather ave Brussels whip us o'er the back.

>>20220864
Wow that takes me back.

>>20220864
Oh, Tavi, we all know you hate the D

>>20220864
>implying anybody here doesn't know what spice girls are
m100 i have news for you

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ALBA GU BRATH!

>>20220907
I'd have put minge anyway m8.

It's all about minge, fannies or twats over here.

>>20220888
It wasn't like the movie

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>>20220924

Sorry Scotland, too busy repaying Celestia for bailing us out for the 9th time...

>>20220925
Say that one more time m8 I swear on me mum, I'll fill you full of me army right where your barry white stay. I'll make you a brighton boy m8

>>20220930
Are you saying Spice World was shit?

>>20220930
Everyone was over them by the time the movie came out. Plus they had to cut out the Gary Glitter cameo.
Good thing they didn't have Jimmy Savile in it.
Seriously, how did you Brits not realize he was a diddler sooner? Dude was creepy as fuck!

>>20220949
Fuckin' moan then ya wee arsecockle, square to go-like!?

>>20220956
Yep. It was.
Also this thread is fun.

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>>20220750

Alex, whit are ya doing ya fat fuck? Get out o' ere, let me do the workin'.

>>20220963
>>20220972
Damn teenage me was an idiot.

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>>20220750

INTO THE TRASH IT GOES

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>>20221034

the ride never ends

>>20221026
They got hot off one song, that teenyboppers, and 3dpd filth loved. They created an equally shit movie with NO FANSERVICE. I just wanted to see some scary spice headlights or baby spice underbutt, but noooooo Fuck the spice girls. Right in the douglas pouch

>>20221068
>not wanting to see Sporty's cameltoe.
>>20221034

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>>20221065

FUCKING GREEN PEOPLE, RUINING BRITTANIA!

>>20217173
You and me bof m8

>>20221087
Sporty was a dude. Those were balls not a cameltoe

>>20221120
I thought that was scary?

>>20220963
Chriist trust me, most of us knew he was a nonce

>>20219305
This, please.

>>20221120
You're thinking of Taylor Hanson m80.

We did miss out on Posh's anything and Ginger's minge, so at least something good came out of it,

>>20221170
>We are Anonymous, We are legion
Stopped reading right there.

>>20221167
Being American, I'd never heard of him until a few years ago when I got into Doctor Who. I watched the sixth Doctor 'Jim'll fix it', and fuck, that was creepy.

Welp if this thread gets deleted, we'll know why.

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>>20221210
Cause of the Spice Girls?

>>20221269
No, because they can't understand britbongistani.

>>20220864
i just graduated high school when the spice girls released wannabe

>>20221304
Oldfag. I was in, I think, fourth grade or so.
It WAS funny when a group of GUYS at a school talent show sang another one of their songs. That was explicitly about having sex.

>>20221304
Shouldn't you have a steady job and a family by now?

>>20221304
Couple years behind ya there.

>>20221327
>not wanting to be a wizard
Fuckin casual as fuck.

is it bad that this thread has made me want to hook up with a britbond girl and have her talk dirty to me about her "minge"

>>20220891

>you blinked your as you woke up
>you had fell asleep on the couch
>the tv just showed silent static
>the movie had been gone off
>you looked down to your side
>Octavia was asleep
>she was holding onto your arm, curled up beside you
>and she looked absolutely beautiful
>you almost felt like shedding a tear at the adorable sight before you
>she looked so peaceful...
>nestled up beside you like this
>besides constantly yelling "You what, mate?" she could be pretty sweet
>you felt her shiver a bit
>it was a little cool, and she did have a skirt on
>you moved your hand to reach for the cover on the back of the couch
>as Octavia started moving, you went back to being still
>you saw her soft, purple eyes open and look at you
>she took a deep breath
>then she lifted her dainty leg as she let loose a long, loud, massive, wet fart
"OH BLOODY 'ELL DID DAT FEEL GRATE!"
>you were pretty sure the couch moved
>your small smile had started to fade
"OI FAAK, THINK AHM GONE HAVETA CHECK MAHSELF"
>she reached her hands up her skirt, and pulled her panties to her knees
>they were cute panties, with a little treble clef on them
"THANK DA QUEEN, I CARN'T BE MAKIN NO MESS ON ME FAV'RIT TWATS KOUCH!"
>she looked up at you
"MOIGHT NEED'N LET DAT AIR OUT A BIT, DOE"
>she must have noticed the look on your face
>she grabbed you in a big hug
"TANKS FER PUTTIN' UP WIT ME, YA BIG WANKER"
>your small smile returned
>she was sweet, deep down
>you felt her hand grab your inner leg
"OI YAH TRY'N UMPRESS ME WIT YA MORNIN WOULD, M8?"
>you cracked a bit of a smile to her
"OH YA WANNA GO 'AVE A GO? LESGO MAKE US SOME BEDROOM MUSIC OR SUMFIN?
>she got up and started to lead you to the bedroom
"LES' GO SEE IF'N I CAN PLAY YER FLUTE"

>>20221511
Yes.

Christ go watch Eastenders and realise how terrible England really is.

>>20221591
Too forced

>>20216628
Fuck you. Us slavs have a method to our alcoholism. A culture even.
Britbongs just drink till they throw up, then drink some more.

>>20221641
that's fair.

I don't know too much about britbong

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>>20202844
She's like a female Noel Gallagher. This is perfect.

>>20220963
It was one of those things where he was so creepy, EVERYONE thought it, but nobody wanted to be so rude as to be the first one to ask "Do you reckon Jimmy Saville diddies kiddies?" Because he was so OBVIOUSLY creepy, somebody would have said it out loud already, right?

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>>20217049
the CMC are top gear

if Britbongland is so good, why isn't it America?

>>20221611
Dammit I can't drink my milk now over the fact that I'm laughing so hard from my own post and your reply.

>>20221591
Why did you stop? My boner was geting ready

Damn you all now cockny britbong dreck accents are my fetish

>>20223024
But it's so... vulgar.

>>20223052
so naughty

so... forbidden

unf

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>>20216258
oh i adore this woman, she reminds me of the hunt!

>>20223052
I know. That's what I love about it.
>>20223218
FUCK YOU I THOUGHT I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS CHEEKY MOTHERFUCKER WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT THE COCKSUCKING HUNT BUT NOW YOU WENT AND REMINDED ME OF THAT ASSHOLE'S FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT EXISTENCE. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY MOTHERFUCKER!

>>20221591
bump for this

>>20220925
Also clunge.

>>20222156
People did ask, and people did know. But the BBC keep it quiet. Saville was one of their major headliners. When he went to visit Stoke Mandeville hospital the nurses used to tell the little girls in the kiddie's ward to pretend to be asleep so he wouldn't start a conversation with them and get a crafty grope. He also raised a shit ton of charity money for the hospital, and that made him untouchable in the bosses thinking. Nurses were fired for trying to warn people. Shit was fucked up.

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Still alive, thread? Have a cartoon.

Less censored version: http://i.imgur.com/eCrRzhn.jpg

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>>20205545
>"OY!!! CARNT YOU SHUT UP FOR FIVE MINITS YOU FAKKIN JUNKIE TART! I WOS JUST ABAHT TO GET ME BUM DONE!"

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>>20214666
>Satan trips

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>>20202844
>It sounded like a broken-winded mule bellowing into a bucket.

>>20210257
>Teacher is a man hating old hag

>>20205545
Do moar. I just found a new fetish with this

>>20228063
Amazing.

Inb4 this become a general

>>20228332
>You are Anon. You have been dating Octavia for two weeks.
>She's beautiful. Her body is elegant. She's a wonderfully talented cellist. Everything about her says 'sophistication', until she opens her mouth.
>You spend your time together half in awe of her and half squirming with embarrassment.
>At this very moment, she's having what she calls a 'barney' with a teenager trying to serve her in McDonalds.
"WHAT THE FACK YOU CALL THIS THEN MATE?"
"That's a cheeseburger, Miss."
"DID I ARSK FOR FAKKING GHERKINS?"
"We can do it again without..."
"NAH SON, IT'S TOO LATE NOW INNIT? THERE'S GHERKINS ALL OVER THIS CUNT! I DUNT FAKKIN EAT VEGITIPLES, ORLRIGHT! I ENT A FAKKIN RABBIT!"
>He starts to sweat.
"It's really no trouble, to..."
"IT'S FAKKIN TRUBBLE TO ME THO INNIT! I GOT PLACES TO BE, INNOI! THE ONLY GHERKIN I WANT WAS THE ONE I HAD TO STICK IN ME TWAT UNTIL ME BOYFRIEND 'ERE TURNED UP!"
>Everyone looks at you. Their expressions imply Octavia can't help herself and you're responsible for her.
>In an attempt to get her to embrace the more cultured lifestyle your soul insists she should be living, you take her to the Opera. She gazes approvingly around the auditorium.
"Cor! I bet it's good acoostics in 'ere an all!"
>She cups a hand to her mouth.
"OY!!!!"
>It echos round and round the opera house. Some of the other patrons drop their programmes.
"Tavi, please! You promised to be quiet!"
"WELL I EM BEIN QUOIET INT I?"
"Ssssh! Shh..."
"Orlrite, orlite - 'aws this?"
"That's good! This is the Opera, it's Madame Butterfly! You're going to love it!"
>She stars cracking walnuts. The opera begins. Octavia appraises it and says:
"There en arf some fat old chinky-chonks on stage int there?"
>She WAS being quiet - for her. But she has this 'carrying' voice. Several audience members shush her. She spins round in her seat.
"Oy! Don't you fakkin shush me!"
"Ssh!"
"I'LL FAKKIN SHUSH YOU IN A MINNIT MUSH!"
>You wring your hands.
>If only she wasn't so damn good in bed.

>>20228063
*unzips todger*

>>20228399
I can't not like this. It's like some kind of universal constant. Please go on.

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>>20228538
Jolly good show govna

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>>20228823
ITT I love you guys

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I have a fetish for ass licking/rimming and facesitting.
Do my fetish in bong speak next.

>>20229126
"OI, WANNA ERE A TRUMP OUT ME ARSE?"
>Octavia lets rip in your face, the smell of rancid shit stinging your noise.
"COR THAT'S A BIT WHIFFY, AIN'T IT?"

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>>20229179

Chavtavia vs Gopnik Vinyl

>>20229225
> Gopnik Vinyl
Comrade Ivan, is that you?

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>>20214666
>"I SAID IF I CON' PLAY MAH BLOODY CHELLAR I'LL BE SHOVIN ENTIER THANG YAR FOIKIN ASSHOLE, UNTUL YOUR COPHIN UP SPLINTAS YOU GOIDDAM SMEGPOT!!!"
muh dick...

I'm sorry guys but every time I read Octavia's lines I hear a some Irish drunk. I've heard her line in RR but my autism won't let it process. Can one of you please say a few lines in her impression so I can get a good idea?

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>>20228063
>Wake up with morning wood
>this takes me from start to finish

Thank you based Catfood

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>>20229332
No
I'm just a friendly russiaboo
здравcтвуте товарищ

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>>20214666

>octavia confirmed to be Marika

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>>20229452
>Rusian commie
Бля, хватит

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>>20229501
И тебе привет.

In case anyone cares, I wrote more stuff for this story.

>>20215254
>Before long, you're in line to order at Joe's Tavern
>Up above the counter, you can see a large menu scribbled out in chalk
>Various pastry-based dishes are listed, all for fairly reasonable prices
>"Yo, 'Tavius," Vinyl asks, nudging you with an elbow. "See anything you like?"
"Hrm..."
>Scanning through the menu again, you try to find something that jumps out at you
"Well, bugger me dead..."
>A grin spreads across your face as your eyes lock onto one item in particular
"They got Cobbish pasties here! Haven't had one of them in yonks."
>"Cool. I think I'm gonna go with a potato pot pie."
"Righto then."
>Reaching into a pouch on your saddlebags, you draw out a small hoofful of bits
>"Here's m'dosh. Mind orderin' for me while I nip off to the bar to fetch the cider?"
>"Sure," she replies, grabbing hold of the coins with her magic
"Ta."
>As you turn to leave for the bar, though, a call of "yo, 'Tavius," sounds out
>You pause, looking over your shoulder to see Vinyl waving at you
>"Make sure you get me a large, kay?"
"Got it!"

>>20229564
>Five minutes and two large ciders acquired later, you're sitting down with Vinyl, enjoying a nice pre-dinner chat
>You listen intently as Vinyl goes on about last night at work
>"So then the cops came into the bathroom," she explains, gesturing with a hoof, "and they find Neon there with a bag of Mare Jane."
>Raising an eyebrow, you give your friend an incredulous look
"Wait, wait... THE Neon Lights? Into the wacky backy? Are you havin' a giggle?"
>"Nope. Totes 100 percent true," she states, self-assuredly. "But you won't believe what he did when they found him!"
"Oh? What'd the poor bastard do, then?"
>"Well, he says to the cop, 'hey, I was trying to flush them, but they kept turning up in my saddlebags right after!'"
"Wait, wait... you ARE havin' a giggle, aren't you! I've heard this joke before!"
>Vinyl raises an eyebrow at you, smirking knowingly. "Oh...? Do tell."
>You match her smile with your own before answering
"Yeah. The bobby calls him out on the porky, the druggo offers to prove it, then when the backy's down the loo, he asks, 'so, let's see those drugs pop up in your saddlebags again', and the druggo comes back, 'what drugs'!"
>"But that's the thing," Vinyl counters. "The cop who nabbed Neon knew that joke too."
"Wait, are you sayin' that..."
>"Yeah, dude," she says, cracking up. "Neon actually tried to pull that shit in real life!"
"You're fuckin' joking!"
>You burst into laughter, unable to do much else but struggle to breathe for the next ten seconds
"So... what'd the bobby do to the poor git when he called him out on it?"
>"Well, he..."

>>20229571
>Just as Viny's about to continue, however, you see one of the wait staff approaching
>It's a unicorn mare, toting your and Vinyl's meals above her with her magic
>"Alright then... So," she asks, bringing the bowl and plate down to eye level, "which of you ordered the pot pie?"
>"That'd be me," Vinyl replies, smiling greedily as her pie floats into position before her
>"And the pasty's yours, I take it?"
>Looking up at the server, you give a quick nod
"Yep."
>"Here you go, then," she says, bringing down the plate with your pasty on it. "You two lovebirds have a lovely evening, now."
>"Lovebirds...?"
"You feckin' what, mate?"
>"O-oh, I'm sorry," the waitress says, taken aback. "I... I just-"
>"Chillax. It's cool," Vinyl assures her, calming things down. "But yeah, me and 'Tavius here are just friends. Right, dude?"
"Right, right. We're just... ol' mates, catchin' up over a bit of a nosh-up. Yeah."
>"Of course. My mistake." The waitress bows before taking a step back. "Enjoy your meal, then."
"Cheers."

===

Will probably have more later, but that's what I have for now.