[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
Homeless Anon in Equestria
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.

You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 489
Thread images: 63
File: image.jpg (124 KB, 466x604) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
124 KB, 466x604
>It's been 2 years since you have been transported to Equestria
>It's nothing close to what you expected
>You have been alienated, embarresed, ridiculed, and even beaten
>Rough times are behind you, and ahead of you
>Friendship is Magic
>It's a cute thought
>But that's all it is
>A thought
>An idea
>But even if it was a reality
>Who would want to be friends with a two legged monster like you
>The shelters don't even take you anymore
>It "ruins" there reputation to be harboring you
>Lately, you have been sleeping under bridges, in the lowest living conditions possible
>You stink
>You're hungry
>You're exhausted
>You don't have a soul to talk to
>Everything has been an endless struggle since the day you got to this nightmare
>The worst part is the crippling loneliness
>No pony would even give you a chance to speak
>Your mind has been broken
>Your heart aches without friendly contact
>You are going to die alone, in this cold, unforgiving "paradise"
>Or will you?
Hmm... I'll watch this thread
>Not moving away from Equestria if your life ends up like shit
The griffins probably wouldn't mind you.
File: 1409073777139.jpg (50 KB, 287x350) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
50 KB, 287x350
if the ponies don't even like you the griffins would tear you to shreds in second
Ponies hate anon, Griffins hate ponies
Griffins hate Anon
Plus griffins have claws
This is kind of interesting
I shall wait for a writefriend, unless OP is writing
That picture is kind of cool
Another general?
I don't know, maybe. No writefags are present. Maybe it will die
File: 1405649007447.jpg (51 KB, 359x305) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
51 KB, 359x305
I will lurk in case something happen
Same, seems like a different concept then I've seen lately
File: image.jpg (333 KB, 1080x808) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
333 KB, 1080x808
>grab sks
>go innawoods
>fuck manticore pussy
Why would you have a gun if you were homeless without money?
>going to Equestria
>not bringing gunz and ammo
fuck that, writefag incoming:
>you wake up in your little "shelter" on the road
>after some fillies found you under the bridge, their parents came and beat the shit out of you
>you had no resilience to their magic
>nor could you use it yourself
>you got tossed out of town after that
>maybe it was finally time to move on
>wasn't like you had anything in ponyville anyways
>maybe the crystal ponies will be kinder
>but first you had to survive the journey north
>you had shit for clothes
>thankfully not literally
>but still, you hadn't had new clothes in two years
>they were more than a little worn
>you look around at your meager surroundings
>the pine tree you had hidden under
>your tattered piece of cloth that acted as a bag
>your pocket knife
>the only thing that had come with you when you found yourself in equestria besides your clothes
>yeah, if this was the life you were living around here, you needed to get the hell out
>you clamber out of the pine tree's covering needles
>the forest at least had been kind to you
>providing fruit to eat
>a meager shelter
>and the flint to start a small fire
>granted, it was also more dangerous
>but if you could survive a unicorn attack, you could survive timberwolves
Maybe he didn't get a chance
Thank you dear writefriend
that was fast
File: image.jpg (16 KB, 204x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
16 KB, 204x250
>not having a moist nugget duct taped to your body and a thousand mags of ammo up your asshole at all times
Bad times up ahead for out hero
This seems like the best setup for survival/homeless or just homeless anon to move and make a home in the forest and run into zecora or work and share a home with her.
Dont know why but i have a strange need for some zebra.
Sounds a lot like this fic http://www.fimfiction.net/story/186589/the-love-of-the-sun
Fucking writefag isn't delivering anymore,hope I find good stuff here
I hope so too. I like this thread a lot
I see Trixie incoming
>The sun isn’t even up yet, but you have work to do.
>You spot your first target; you briskly walk over to it, grip tightly and pull it out of the ground.
>You move down the street pulling mailbox after mailbox out of the ground.
>The first rays of light are beginning to shine over the horizon, time to get going lest the guard catch you again.
>Well they didn’t catch you, but fuck running, that shits unpleasant when you ain’t got no shoes.
>It’s a short walk to the tree line where you dump the mailboxes behind a bush and look down the street.
>The ponies begin to awake and check for their mail, which isn’t there.
>They look at one another and shrugging and asking the obvious question.
>With a snigger you gather up your mail boxes and head back into the woods some ways.
>It isn’t long until you reach your spacious abode, it’s a small cave.
>But hey, it’s got a mattress (stolen)!
>That’s not all folks, there’s a blanket too (also stolen)!
>With a clatter you dump the mailboxes in the middle of the cave, and begin tossing the stakes into the small tongue of fire you have kept going for the past couple of days.
>You settle down on the edge of the mattress and pull up the first mailbox.
“I love going through people’s mail, federal offense but I don’t care, because fuck those mares.”
>Fucking regular poet right here.
“And the stallions too.”
>Maybe not.
Second writefag please put name
>granted, by "survive" you meant run like a little bitch
>but you lived
>that was all that mattered
>your knife has a built in compass that you assume works since you know that ponyville is north of you and the compass points towards ponyville
>so you follow it out of the woods with a small bag of fruit and brave ponyville's streets for the last time
>no one really looks at you
>it's like you don't exist to them
>good fucking riddance
>you walk through town square
>a few looks your way
>oh shit
>you walk a little faster
>those were the same ponies that kicked your shit last week
>you make it through unscathed
>thank fuck
>you continue your way through ponyville's twisting streets
>at last you're ou-
>a giant glass wall just tried to brake your face as you ran into it
>well fuck
>that just happened
>you're stuck here, it seems
>the glass extends all the way around the town
>oh shit oh shit
>no way out
>all the ponies are about to be very pissed
>and who are they going to blame?
>the freakish two legged creature
>you needed to hide
>the bridge isn't going to fly this time
>you need some place no one will ever look
>you need a pile of trash
>looking around frantically, you find none
>this town is too small for that
>then you spot it
>it's perfect
>a box
>it's full of wagon wheels
>you pull them out and stack them neatly
>then you pull the box over yourself
>and hope to god this all blows over soon
>One by one you tear open the letters and pour out the contents.
>Hey now! This one has some shiny in it!
“God bless insecure grandparents.”
>You put the bits in a pile with the rest of your haul and read the letter, hey, you gotta do something for fun.
“Dear grand son, I’m a massive kike and you’re a flaming faggot. Lets go spit on the ape man!”
>Okay, sometimes you just made up what they said.
>You toss the letter into the fire, giving a new lease on life.
>Next letter, oh pardon me, next package.
“Happy birthday, from your special- fuck it.”
>You tear off the wrapping paper and carefully open the box.
>A box is manufactured material and too good to waste.
“Sweet baby jesus.”
>This is a great day so far.
>A shiny new multi tool, it looks something like a Leatherman, maybe a little smaller.
>This you immediately pocket.
>Next letter.
>It’s hard to contain your glee, it’s like Christmas.

>giant glass wall
>what is magic duel
this guy called it
File: 1408317365690.jpg (7 KB, 125x125) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7 KB, 125x125
hardcore lurking this thread
Has he met the mane 6 yet?
>The worst part is the crippling loneliness

Pretty used to that by now actually.
fuck yes, moss is in this shit
Also bumping
Interesting concept mate
It's cool seeing Anon as a bitter homeless fellow
Lurking the shit out of this thread
File: BaitShopSignSIZED.jpg (79 KB, 600x490) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
79 KB, 600x490
>not SKS
Made me reply
Noice trips mang
>it's been almost a full day since the wall went up
>you heard flashes of magic a few minutes ago
>must be serious
>through a hole in the box, you see the glass wall disappear
>oh thank god
>you can get out of here
>you throw the box off of you and run out of to-
>god damnit
>not again
>you are halted and picked up slightly by a force
>fucking unicorns
>"oooh yes, you are my meal ticket out of poverty!"
>oh fuck
>this is worse than normal
>you're spun around to face the unicorn
>blue coat
>white-blue mane
>saddle bags
>wizard's hat and cape
>oh fucking great
>"I see fear in your eyes, creature, it is good that you are humble"
>"it will make you all the easier to train"
>your voice cracks as you use it for the first time in months
"Put me down!"
>"ooh! you talk too! this opens even more opportunities for Trixie!"
>you are carried along as she picks up the wheels and makes her way to a covered wagon
>you are shoved inside the wagon as the wheels are reattached
>when you try and climb out and run the fuck away, you are shoved back by her magic
>looks like you're stuck here
>with this crazy horse
I'm all for this story
>Second order of business, food.
>You ate your reserves for breakfast, but these now empty mailboxes have a second purpose.
>Yeah you now had money, but best to save those for tools or things you couldn’t get from the land.
>With a smile you bury the now full box of bits and other valuables a few paces outside the cave,
>but Anon? You don’t have a shovel.
>Correct, but you do have hands, beside, you’re gonna dig it back up by the end of the day.
>You wrap the mailboxes up in the tarp that you took from SAA.
>Ponies man, heavy sleepers.
>Before you leave though you grab your second most valuable tool.
>It’s a fence post with some barbed wire wrapped around the end and grip tape wrapped around the other.
“Off into a new day!”
>It’s only maybe a five minute walk down hill to the river.
>Roll up the pant legs and wade in, small crustaceans and fish part before your feet.
>The river only comes up to your knees but it’s pretty wide.
>If you weren’t so destitute this would be the perfect place to paint a picture or build a vacation home.
>With one hand you begin to dig into the river bed, the other holds your tarp of mailboxes.
>Mostly out of habit you begin to mumble sing to yourself.
“Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten!”
>Standing upright you swing the tarp to your chest and take out the first mailbox, and open the flap.
“Look away, look away, look away Dixie land!”
>You shove the mailbox in the pit with the flap up; you walk a little downstream still singing.
Ha!I knew Trixie was coming!
Bumping for more
Whore Anon Thread? xD
Anon is fucking out of his mind
I fucking love it!
File: 1408581793196.png (322 KB, 500x348) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
322 KB, 500x348
I chuckled
File: 1408646915306.jpg (20 KB, 277x182) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
20 KB, 277x182
>bumping while the thread is still active
>Anon wears tinfoil hobo hat
>Constructs soup can grenades
>Innawoods ammo made out of bear teeth and dragon shit found in Everfree Forest
>Attacks ponyville hellbent on building a proper squatter shack this time in peace
"All I wanted was some change..."
Terrorism Anon?
That gives me an idea.

>Alright that was the sixth mailbox, the rest you have other plans for.
>You set your tarp down, as well as your beatin’ stick on the bank and begin to strip down.
>Even though there’s no public decency laws you still can’t bring yourself to take off all your clothes, just the outer layers.
>You begin to wash yourself in the river; it’s a rather calming process.
>Or it was, half way through the process you begin to hear movement and voices on the other side of the river.
>The voices are indistinct at this point, as is the size of the creatures, your gaze zeroes in on the source.
>While the river may be a neutral ground for the forest animals in never hurt to be prepared.
>”Boy-howdy it’s been too long since I jus took the day off fer some fishin’”
>”Hey Applejack, ten bits says I catch a bigger fish.”
>”That’s ten bits yer gonna lose sugarcube.”
>Acting quickly you push the tarp into the bushes, god forbid she recognizes it.
>You return to washing yourself, no reason to let some unwelcome company stop your life.
>While you have your head in the water they break the tree line, you raise your head and squeeze out your hair.
>They obviously had forgotten that you existed.
>Without acknowledging their presence you finish up and gather up your clothes.
>”Hey chimp where you going!”
>You turn around and raise a finger.
“Wait, do you hear that noise?”
>The blue-ish one cocks her head to the side.
“There it is again!”
>”What in the name of tarturus are you talking about?”
“Again! You know what that is?”
>Silence, and strange looks are the only response.
“That’s the sound of a moron talking out her ass!”
I gotta run.
File: hobo-with-sg.jpg (121 KB, 486x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
121 KB, 486x720

Anon is this guy.
I like it but please don't make it an edgy story where anon blows up a hospital
>“That’s the sound of a moron talking out her ass!”
Sides status: lost
File: 1-criminal.jpg (1 MB, 1500x2000) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1 MB, 1500x2000
Or he can be slav hobo anon?
Are you still alive friend?
>a few moments later, the mare herself comes inside
>oh no
>this can't be good
>that manic smile on her face can't mean anything good ever
>"we're going to train you to fight in the arena!"
>you didn't even know this world had an arena
>"why of course! Celestia herself just announced it last week!"
>that explains it
>can't catch up on the news while you're in a woods
>not like you had a choice in the matter
>looks like you had to fight
>just not the fight you originally planned for
"not like I have a choice, do I?"
>"well, you could go back to the woods and die, but I don't think you want that"
>fair enough
"fine, where do we start?"
I may retcon this part if you guys think anon going from zero to gladiator hero is bad
>the mouthpiece of the snorkel is in front of the barrel

Yeah, there's other things wrong with it, but I that is my favorite part.
>zero to gladiator hero
pick one
File: image.jpg (64 KB, 470x383) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
64 KB, 470x383
Yeah, not where I was looking to go
To be honest, I don't know what to expect so take it away, bruh
more original than most
File: MahNigga.jpg (28 KB, 329x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
28 KB, 329x400
I need the "he's right you know" pic, but I don't have it, so have this instead
True, it will make an interesting story seeing how he embraces fame
Not really.
Anon gets abducted by Trixie, edge faggotry, then revenge and more edge is common.
Maybe it will just be a pony version of Gladiator. I'm good for anything though
>implying he would take revenge
this isn't caravan's story where he gets degraded quite yet anon, I intend for him to earn Trixie's respect after some time
Makes sense. Continue
You better not end this story here, writefag.
go into the wood
find food
make a shelter
find gems
work with the dark arts
make small kingdom out of human ideas
fight back
Noice. Except gems aren't that rare if you can just dig and find them
>beaten by tiny horses
What the fuck man, at least avoid poisoning the prompt.
>what is magic
>what is dive bombing Pegasus
>what is earth pony strength
>tiny ponies
Yeah you know, the ones that took out the god of chaos, dragons and giant fucking monsters
Plus they can fly and use magic. I don't know one human that can fly through the air and cut multiple trees in half with his feet. Educate yourself you fool
>what is magic
I thought the average unicorn can't do much more besides regular levitation and/or whatever fits her cutie mark? I doubt your everday unicorn could make use of that to stand up to Anon.
>what is equestrian guard
>what is wonderbolts
>what is bulk biceps
Plus they also have really fucking sharp horns
>Day number hello in Equestria
>Be Herpa Derp
>Finished delivering mail to Ponyville
>Go by the park and see Anon at a pic-nic table
>He's a tall hooman, which means he walks on two legs instead of four, has things called hands on the end of them, and only has fur on top of his head and on his face.
>Even though Anon was twice as tall, and totally weird, he was always nice and kind and acted sorta like grandpa
>Fly over to him
>"Hiya Anon"
>He's broken out of his solitary state and looks over at me, and smiles wide.
>It looks funny when he has a big white beard covering his face and upper lip
>He talks like one of those miners from a cowboy movie
>"Howdy, Ditzy Doo. Good to see my favorite mail mare again."
>He gestures with his hands to the checkard board on the pic-nic table
>"Wanna play a game?"
>You always came every weekday of every week for about a month now, to play some checkers with Anon.
"You know I'm always up for a game"
>"Well then come on down here and take a seat, before ya get your whoopin," He said with a hearty chuckle
>He already put out the pieces
>Like always, he gives me the first move
>We'd talk and play. Usually he'd have me talk and he'd just listen. Sometimes I try to get him to talk about himself or what he does all day, but he usually just gives me a sad smile and tells me nothing's happened.
>I'd hate to think this, but I think this is the highlight of his day.
>I know he isn't doing well, because of how worn out his clothes are. Usually a pony would wear clothes unless they were rich, but he was always insistent on having clothes on, even if he didn't have a job.
>He asked Applejack for some work on the farm, but AJ was insistent that it was a family business.
>He tried to ask Rarity to patch up some of his shirts but he said that she always told him she was too busy.
>He tried going all around town, but it seems like no one was hiring
>From what he told me, he seems like he just didn't get any luck.
File: doom ponk.jpg (95 KB, 481x762) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
doom ponk.jpg
95 KB, 481x762

If you don't like the premise then maybe you should not post in the thread?
This is a really cool premise
File: 100% Sexy Rifle.jpg (162 KB, 1024x768) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
100% Sexy Rifle.jpg
162 KB, 1024x768
>>grabs sks
>posts slavshit 2.0
Always fires, never hits.
Escuse me while I grab best rifle.
File: americapone.jpg (158 KB, 1194x1024) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
158 KB, 1194x1024
>american rifle
I came.
That picture is really good OP
Bump from The Coliseum
Just ignore the beating part, its a thread prompt, you as a writefag add your own cannons and shit. You don't have to be beaten to be homeless.

Oh come on, the Equestrian Guard is useless, and Bulk is just a mutated monster who would probably fall over from his own weight if you tapped him.
Not really. That's basically the plot of Conan the Barbarian starring AHNOLD.
based writefag pls
>"well, we can't let you walk into a battle arena looking like you do, can we now? you need to build some muscle to be useful"
>she tells you that you'll be pulling the cart
>and she'll be feeding you protein and magic packed food
>holy fuck
>for free
>you are now feeling much better about being "kidnapped" by this mare
>granted, you were probably going to regret this in a few days
>but you were getting fed and you had a plan
>that was better than the past two years had been, that's for sure
"didn't you say you were in poverty too?"
>"poverty, not destitute, and besides, there is plenty of food if you know where to look and aren't afraid of eating new things"
>coming from a pony, that probably means meat
>which would be fucking fantastic
>but no matter what happened, at least you wouldn't be a skeleton anymore
>so why did you have a feeling this was a bad idea?
and that's all for tonight
expect training montage tomorrow if I have the time
I'm pretty sure he meant more original than most greentext stories.
I will be waiting, sounds exciting. Would like to hear how the arena rules got enforced
even better
>Gladiator anon
Now this is the type of shit I'm talkin about
I can't wait to see where this goes
Respectable, but not enough homoerotic undertones.
>not picking Mulan
you should all be ashamed
Yeah, you're right
>The griffins probably wouldn't mind you.
On a platter maybe. If the candy horses won't even like you, the odds of anything else is slim.
Requesting another writefag
>one of the Mane 6 has a hobby of killing homeless ponies and/or humans on the side
It's not even worth arguing over, dude. It's just a kink for some people. I hate it too.
How is that a kink? Did you even read the replies to the post? They all have pretty valid points Anon. And if you hate it so much, why don't you just go to a different thread?
File: 1404674501645.jpg (79 KB, 419x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
79 KB, 419x720
>How is that a kink?
Some people get hard-ons for getting the shit beat out of them. And so many of those points are cartoon physics, I want to play by those rules too.

>why don't you just go to a different thread?
File: 1404846438917.jpg (56 KB, 300x647) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
56 KB, 300x647
>Anon becomes gladiator
>Becomes famous
>Royalty see potencial
>Become slave/soldier of royalty
>And finally he becomes knight of the sun
There's this
>What is cartoon.
Wait! So this is all based on a cartoon?
How come that's always an excuse when there is an argument within a thread. The whole board is based off a cartoon. All these threads are based off the cartoon. And most of the threads still go by the cartoon rules. And even if they are weaker than him, they have magic, and I'm sure they could over power a single human if they tried.
Just stop arguing wait for writefags to return
edgy fags general
Sure how? Assuming we're fully susceptible, the only ones who use magic to that degree are alicorns. Outside of that, what heavy lifting has really been done via magic?

Sorry, but if they go by cartoon physics, I invoke the Slam Jam rule.
How is this even edgy, Anon?
File: image.jpg (71 KB, 700x479) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
71 KB, 700x479
>thread is out of the norm
Judging by the way in previous episodes the ponies gladly accept minotaurs, sea-serpents, bulls, cows, donkeys, meat-eating griffins, draqonueses, zebras and all manner of other sentient species, this idea seems implausible at best, even if we are attempting to apply logic to a fucking cartoon
Just don't reply
Because there's a certain sort of autist who is extremely insecure. This sort of autist only makes it through life by imagining how they could go to Equestria beat up everyone there, rape anything with his tiny penis (although it would be considered big in Equestria, our little autist has made numerous charts to prove this).
He has literally invested every scrap of the little, pathetic excuse he has for an ego into his delusion. So whenever he sees someone suggest this would not be possible (nevermind that it isn't possible to go to cartoon horse world anyway), he becomes filled with rage and shitposts everywhere.
>making cute, nice cartoon characters assholes
>somehow NOT edgy
This is the most basic stuff
It's just a story...
>So whenever he sees someone suggest this would not be possible (nevermind that it isn't possible to go to cartoon horse world anyway), he becomes filled with rage and shitposts everywhere.

You just described probably 70% of the threads on /mlp/

And when our precious little warlord is told his fantasies of rolling over Canterlot in tanks is pants on head, autistic enough that Rain Man complains about the spaghetti, drop dead retarded, they scream muh santhropy.
Regardless of this being the case, any attempt at trying to take such a concept seriously (the feels) seems futile when consistency can't even be met. Face it; the more you all try to project your misery and self-pity on to a happy cartoon world, the more out of character you make that world
>pants on head, autistic enough that Rain Man complains about the spaghetti, drop dead retarded
Holy fuck why did I laugh so hard at this
The point of this thread was that some pony would come across Anon and feel bad for him and see through all the bullshit. It wasn't meant for him to beat ip all the ponies but it was meant to have a pony lift him up back on his feet
So threads about giant ponies eating humans aren't out of character?

Stuff like that is why God invented generals.
yeah but sometimes this isn't that bad anyway, when they are not making stupid shippings or shit like that,many good official characters are born just because the fans have those weird interpretations, without those, none of the background ponies would have any personality today
So is this referring to OP or the edgy guy
Of course they are out of character, but how is that proving my point any less valid? I support peoples flimsy fetishes regarding massive carnivorous ponys as much as I do the idea of a sentient creature being shunned in a cartoon magic-land filled with happy ponies that believe in the magic of tolerance or whatever

OP is fine, as is the general premise, at least if you give some reason why the ponies are afraid of you other than just being assholes.

Something like this makes more sense if there's been some human villain in the past, or if for some reason they associate you with a monster like Ahuizotl.

And it takes the Anon being kind of clueless or antisocial himself, because otherwise they'd get over it eventually.
I'm sorry to inform you but most of the threads here aren't cannon so the Anons make threads that would never happen in the real show. These threads are ment to entertain the idea of a different type of equestria, where there values are different. And what's the problem if they are staying in the thread? If the few Anons enjoy the story and the premise, why is this a bad thing
>Day lost count a LONG time ago in Equestria
>You've been in this piss poor excuse of a shithole planet, dimension, universe, not better earth place
>All you can do is eat out of trashcans, drink from puddles and sit there, wasting away
>How many diseases have you contracted?
>You're not sure, seeing as the worst you've got is the flu
>But that's much more than enough to finish you off
>Every moment that you're awake is pain, you are ridiculed every time you go out in public, the 2 legged freaky alien
>You know that they're basically terrified of a damn zebra, let alone an alien from another planet
>Every time someone comes along to mock you, you sit there and do nothing
>Let them continue to talk, and hate
>No point in going hostile on them, since hate fuels more hate
>Today you're going to see if anyone is gonna bother to listen to you
>You decide to move your box to an opening of an alley today
>It's about 7:00 AM, you judge by the sun, which you theorize is actually moved by the planet's rotation itself
>As in, the princesses don't move the sun, they move the planet
>Makes them seem much less powerful anyway...
>The few ponies that pass you shoot you angry glares and looks
>You simply smile back at them in the most friendly, warm possible way and wave at them
>You're going to die from this flu soon, anyway so might as well leave a good impression on them
>You hear the usual "Ugh, it's that disgusting creature again" or, "Hey look, it's the freak"
>Each time you hear one of those phrases, you simply point a thumbs up in their general direction and continue to smile
>By now it's probably around 7:30 AM
>Some young ponies are going past you, probably to school, judging by their bags on their backs
>One of them picks up a rock with their magic, and throws it at you
>It hits your box, and the only thing you do, is nod at them, and say
"Good shot"
>"Just look at him, disgusting"
The development of background ponies doesn't directly conflict with ideals established by the canon the same way that any form of cruelty (ie: cupcakes) does. So that can work I admit. But this particular idea goes against the very fundamentals of what makes equestria the, dare I utter it, loving and tolerant place it is.
Why are all the Anons getting mad about this particular thread?
See I'm completely fine with ponies being terrified of Anon so much so that they won't let him get close enough to just explain he's looking for help. But getting bullied by them? Cmon
Seriously? Like why is this thread getting shit on so much?
He never said the nice ponies are the one bullying him. There are plenty of occasions where ponies bully other ponies. Some are just immature
because nobody likes faggots who self pity.
It isn't a bad thing, I just personally find it silly (not that anyone should care to be honest) how one can still call equestria "equestria" after turning it's core ideals on it's head. At the very least it is plausible, shaky perhaps, but plausible that ponies would want to engage in sexual activity with one another, and even that can be stretched without completely changing what mlp is at it's core. But this idea is almost the polar opposite of anything that resembles equestria, which is why it strikes me as completely absurd that it can still be entertained in such a way.
Exactly this
The capability to do so is what I mean
Shut up faggot go read more self-insert sex fantasies you fat virgin.
>"Uhh, mister, y'all right?"
>A young filly just asked you if you're alright
>This is strange, very strange
"I-I'm fine, thanks for asking, miss.. Y'know, you're the first one to ask me if I'm alright the whole time I've been here, thank you"
>"Really? No one?"
"Yup, everyone hates me, don't you know?"
>"I've actually never seen you before, I don't usually go this way to school, but somethin' told me to go this way instead, dunno what or why"
>That's strange, well, first person to NOT hate you since you've been here, let's see if we can get this anywhere
"So, why do you want to talk to some old, homeless, smelly, outcast?"
>"Well, you just looked so sad, y'know?"
>Oh, OH, you know, you know how sad you are
>You are the most lonely human being in the history of the human race
>The only other person who ever came close to your loneliness would be Micheal Collins, the astronaught who stayed in the capsule orbiting around the earth, millions of miles away from the earth, and miles away from the nearest 2 other humans, with no way to talk to them or to the mission control
"Yeah, I'm lonely... actually, lonely is an understatement, Do you know what it feels like to be the only one of your own species, race, everything, and to be hated by everyone?"
>"Well, no, I don't"
"Well, that's what I'm feeling right now"
>"Really? you're the only one of your whole species and race?"
"Yeah, have you seen any other humans around? Of course you haven't, I'm the only one who got stuck here, I want to go back, so badly"
>"I'm.... sorry mister... how about I come back and talk to you again after school? I might be able to make you feel a bit less lonely?"
"If you want to, sure, It's your choice"
>And at that, she leaves, she'll probably be late to her class, but you can tell she thought it was worth the wait, to make the only human in all of equestria, not so lonely
>Orbiting around the earth
Goddammit, I meant moon, he went to the far side of the moon...
This is actually a pretty interesting story. It won't end well for Anon, seeing he is talking to a filly, but I'm hooked
keep it going, friend. namefag to distinguish?
makes it easy for some of us
there is no point in mocking you since you enjoy being shit on.
It's just their opinion. It's fine
This. It's okay, they don't have to like what ever we like
thats right anon, just sit there and take the insults like the self pitying faggot you are.
Okay fags, keep your pedo\rape fetishes under control...let`s see how that goes
Is it bad that I haven't had any sexual thoughts yet, just cute Anon x filly friendship
no fags what I meant to say was that this story needs to end in a rape/murder.
Yeah, I'd rather it didn't
but thats what homeless people do.
>After that whole ordeal, you decide to try and rest, you are damn tired, after all
>You fall asleep quickly, in seconds
>You are nudged awake, and you can make out some voices, one of them familiar, with 2 accompanying it
>Perhaps she brought some friends?
>As you open your eyes, you see that you are correct, as 2 other fillies stand next to her now
>"So, sweetiebelle, why did you bring us to the alien?"
>"Cut him some slack, scootaloo, I talked to him and he says that he's the most lonely human ever!"
>"uh, what's a human?"
"Ah, hello again"
>"Hey, these are my friends, scootaloo and sweetiebelle, oh, by the way my name is applebloom"
"Alright, applebloom, it's nice to meet the rest of you"
>Smile at them, and nod, the usual to strangers you meet, want to make a good first impression
>"So,applebloom tells me that you're the only human" in equestria, is that true? 'cause she exaggerates a lot"
"She's not exaggerating, and I am the first, and most likely, the last on this... planet"
>"Well, I guess I'm sorry.."
>"How did you get here anyway? did you do it on purpose?" applebloom asks
"Well, no, actually, you see, one day when I was out in the woods, I became lost, no way of finding my way out, after the first night I managed to sleep, and woke up in a completely different place, no pine trees, no familiar birds chirping, just the ones in that forest over there"
"The everfree forest? you came from there?"
"Yeah, but I didn't know that it was the everfree, instead I decided to keep moving, bad idea if I want to be found, but I thought I'd better find an easier to get to spot If I was gonna be found quickly by the time I was missed, but turns out I didn't have to stay put, because I came across this town, I thought I would be saved, but rather than be greeted with open arms, I was rejected, and forces to live a homeless life here"
File: image.jpg (21 KB, 460x276) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
21 KB, 460x276
Pic related
I want this too
c'mon anon I'm gripping my cock, bash there little skulls in already.
Yeah, no that's not gonna happen

Anon is looking for a friend, not a cocksock
What's with you faggots
fuck it, break there necks, hide they're bodies and fuck the rotting corpses daily.
What a waste of perfectly good food.
Don't do it writefriend. There doesn't have to be murder and rape
This guy's right. Rape is just fine
>implying this is a self-insert for me
This is why you get called autistic.
File: download.jpg (8 KB, 300x168) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
8 KB, 300x168
No he's not he is training to be a gladiator pulling and or pushing somthing? Its this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e43RPVFINPs

>"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but hey. maybe I can help you find a proper place to sleep, and eat... and bathe" Applebloom ever so kindly offers you
>You make one friend here, and they seem to be willing to help you, amazing
"Really? You'd help me that much? You'd really house me and feed me?"
>"Sure, I mean you'll have to work a bit, but hey, hopefully it'll be better than laying out here in this nasty box"
"Anything would be better than this.. aside from the holocaust"
>"What's a holocaust?" Sweetiebelle asks you
"Uh... I might be able to when you're older"
>"Why might?"
"Because, I'm actually slowly dying, if you haven't noticed, not that you could have, I don't blame you"
>And you DO NOT intend to rape or kill them, or anyone
>You intend to give them a reason to actually like humans for a change, killing children would do the exact opposite of that
>After a while of walking, you come across what you assume is her home, which is a farm, coincidentally
>You can actually get some manual labor done, it seems
>"uhh, you might want to wait out here, and you two might want to go, since if you're seen with him, might make people think you actually care for him"
>They both retreat to nearby trees, hiding behind them
>She walks up to the house and enters the door


>You are now applebloom, and you just met the only human in existance
>Now you hope to give him a home, even if your family says yes, he's probably gonna have to stay in the barn, poor guy, can't even get a break from the suffering
"Hey, everyone"
>"Well, applebloom, you're home late, you been off crusadin'? Your older sister asks you
"Actually... I was wonderin'... do you know who the human is?"
>"What's a human? some kinda animal?"
"No, he's a 2 legged person, who can talk, so he ain't no dumb animal"
>"Two legged? you better not be talkin' about that freak alien thing, I don't wanna see you around it, you could get hurt"
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the Armies of the North. General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife – and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
File: hitlerboard.png (70 KB, 900x481) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
70 KB, 900x481
>And you DO NOT intend to rape or kill them, or anyone
>You intend to give them a reason to actually like humans for a change, killing children would do the exact opposite of that
well you blew it anon, no filly pussy for you.
Shit, I haven't watched that movie in a while. It was pretty good of I remember
Hue. No filly rape for you today Anon
of course I was such a fool you need to earn there trust, then rape and murder they're children.
We need to rename this filly murder general, I mean thats what the thread is really about anyway.
>there trust
>they're children

Same word wrong two different ways. Are you literally retarded?
when is lonely anon gonna update i need my pedofillia fix.
now you`re thinking with portals my friend
File: 1410207290596.jpg (96 KB, 466x604) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
96 KB, 466x604

File: Perfection.jpg (30 KB, 512x288) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
30 KB, 512x288
"Well... I have actually, He's a really nice guy, actually, he's not gonna hurt me, I assure you"
>"Applebloom, what where you thinking talking to him? He could have hurt you, could have... touched you"
"No, he wouldn't have, he just doesn't want to be alone, he's so sad, and... he's dyin', he needs a home, a place to stay, I was wonderin' if he could... stay here?"
>"... Ugh, okay, I'll ask granny, but just so you know, he's probably gonna stay in the barn"
"That's fine, since he's been living in a box on the sidewalk, barely even alive"
>"Oh... I didn't know that, I heard he's been stalkin' people and killing small animals, poisoning crops and water supplies and stuff..."
>What? who would say that?
>Doesn't matter, now that he might have a home, that should cheer him up
>After a few moments, applejack returns
>"She said okay, since we could always use more help"
"Oh, thank you, I'll go tell him"
>You run as fast as your little filly legs can carry you, to.... huh, you don't even know his name yet, gotta ask him


>You are anon again, and you've been sitting by the entrance to the farm for a few minutes now, and you can see applebloom running back, with a huge grin on her face
>"*Huff* You... can... stay... *huff* in the barn"
>What wonderful news, you're... wow... this feeling, is this what happiness is? strange, it's so unfamiliar
"Thank you, so much applebloom"
>"No, thank you, for not giving me that empty smile that you've have plastered on your face for the past few days"
>Wow, she saw through your smile, that's not an easy thing to do, since you always bury your emotions atleast a mile underneath the skin
>"Also, what's yer' name? I forgot to ask, sorry"
"My name... it's... hmm... anon, Anonymous, it's alright"
>"Well, suppose I'll show you to yer' new home, huh?
"Lead the way"
>A short walk and you end up in a barn, at least it's warm, so there's that
Liking it
File: Waiting.jpg (3 KB, 146x80) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 KB, 146x80
These aren't pre-written, takes a while to write a story that doesn't blow major horse ass, so it's gonna be a while between each post, after next one I'll be off to bed
not nearly enough horrific sexual crimes against children for my taste.
liking it. Don't go crazy on us though. No Filly Fiddling or anything like that
Sorry this will end in the RAPE of CHILDREN.
>>"Oh... I didn't know that, I heard he's been stalkin' people and killing small animals, poisoning crops and water supplies and stuff..."

He's an evil enchantress
And he does evil dances!
>Muh head cannon

Whats with these people arguing about head cannons?

On one side you have some kind of self pitying faggot on the other some over cocky macho "bro dude".

Its like when India and Pakistan try to fight.


The only persons who's head cannon matters are the writefags and theirs only matters in their stories. So really you faggots can argue all you want, all that matters is the writefags choices and if it was implemented well. If a writer wants to make anon the most beta thing ever, so be it. On the other hand if anon is the most Rambo like motherfucker ever, than so be it. And all that matters is: Did you or did you not enjoy the story? Just give feedback about your opinion (writefags like that, i know i do) and we will chose whether to trash it or keep it.
No I'm pretty sure it's better to just call shit shit and hope they stop.
hey /int/, is that you?
>Well todays haul was especially shitty.
>Just some clover and half a loaf of bread you took from some picnic while they weren’t looking.
>The suns down and the fires doing well, which is good considering your current task.
>Melting tree sap and plugging the holes in the mailbox.
>Soon you will have a several suitable water containers; it’s been a few days since your last one went missing.
>In a futile effort to stave off boredom you fall back on your old habit.
“Just got home from Illinois, lock the front door oh boy!”
>Wrapping your remains of a shirt around your hand you reach into the fire and pull out the tin can of sap.
“Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch.”
>you pour in the charcoal and mix it with your trusty fire poking stick.
“Imagination sets in pretty soon I’m singin’!”
>Using the same stick you begin to glob the home made glue around the screw holes.
“Doo Doo Doo lookin out my-“
>The shockwave from teleportation threatens to put out your fire as you sit on your mattress unfazed by the sudden appearance.

He's right.
"So... when do I get to eat?
>"Oh, well... I suppose I can bring you in to the table to get some food in you"
>She walks you over to the house and you see what you assume is her family
>"... ah.. hello there... mister"
>The orange one says, she's looking at you with eyes filled with distrust, you do your usual smile back at them
"Hello, all, I won't bother telling you a sob story filled with self pity, It's just that I've been homeless, and well, now I suppose I have a job in which I am payed in being allowed to stay in a place that is marginally better than a box on the sidewalk"
>The old green one seems to slightly nod, as if she was expecting you to be one of those moochers who was hoping for a real job just like that
"Now, to actually work, I'll need to improve upon my personal well being, so being fed, and bathing"
>"Alright... so, what exactly do... humans eat?" The old one asks
"Well, we can't eat straight up plants, but we are what you'd call omnivores, we can eat both processed plants, and meat"
>"Well... we ain't got any meat, but I think we got some apples around here..."
"Yeah, apples will work, I love apples, actually, haven't had one in months, at least"
>"Uh, in months? When was the last time you ate SOMETHING?"
"Never, the entire time I've been here"
>"And.. uh, when was the last time you washed yourself?"
"... same amount of time"
>"Oh, so that's what that smell was, I think you could use a shower"
"I'd like that, very much, please"
>They show you to their shower, how to use it, all that
>Showering montage, feeling rejuvenated, oh... but now you have to put on those clothes... the ones you've been wearing for a month straight
"Uh... you wouldn't have anything you can wash my clothes with do you?"
>"I'm not sure... what even are clothes? you don't need 'em do you?"
File: obamasatan.jpg (41 KB, 1024x532) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
41 KB, 1024x532
>hey /int/, is that you?
No, satan. I frequent most boards if not all, /int/ is one that is too boring for my taste.

What does /int/ have to do with anything?
File: 1409007020344.gif (799 KB, 200x189) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
799 KB, 200x189
>>19648745 Well, until now and late tomarrow, there will no longer be official posts...
And no, this will not become an anon fucks a filly story... or murder, or some strange fetish story involving apples and orifices
>tfw no apule buttplug greentext
This whole thread ignores the fact that Lyra would immediately take anon in and give him a job using his hands on her mane.

Before molesting him.
This means that anon has not eaten for an entire month.
What the fuck? How the fuck is he alive?
Perhaps he was overweight before?
Topics like this are part of why I often find myself looking at videos about how to make primitive tools. In the unfortunate event of being stranded somewhere with absolutely nothing, perhaps I could make things to improve my lot in life.
Though, I'd likely wind up getting desperate for food and eating something that'd kill me.

I don't leave my house without a small backpack of things, a ka-bar knife and some other stuff. I want to give my self some chance to survive given extreme conditions of one sort or another.

And yes i realize i probably will die. But 15 inches of steel are pretty nice weapon at least.
>Oh look, some of the friendship brigade came to see you.
>Namely miss prissy, hat, and ms. I live in a castle isn’t friendship grand.
“Looks like I have company! I’ll break out the good china!”
>The purple one’s angry… Twigs is it?
>Who the hell calls their kid Twigs, that can’t be right.
>”Anon, there’s been a recent string of… mail… box…”
>She’s staring right at the mailbox in your hand.
>Well shit. Quick take the initiative.
“So just because something gets stolen you assume it’s me?”
>It’s impossible to say this with a straight face, the edges of your mouth giving you away as much as the mailbox in your hands.
>Twilight on the other hand is unamused.
>”Oh yeah? So I assume that is just a model you made?”
“Nope, this is soon to be my water b- hey.”
>She magics it out of your hands.
>”Where’s the rest?”
>There’s a clatter as AJ pulls the chord out of the hanging tarp causing the remaining mail boxes to fall.
>This also reveals the painted insignia of SAA.
>”I thought I was losing it when this here tarp went missing!”
>Twilight counts up the rest of mail boxes, with a tired eye roll she asks her question again.
>”Where’s the rest of them.”
“Lets consider the tarp as a trade, shall we.”
>The boxes drop to the floor, you’re pushing all the right buttons.
>That is if you want to be a smoldering pile of scorched ash, you’ve seen her magic.
>Scary shit.
>”The tarp was already AJ’s, you stole it, just like everything else.”
“Not like I have a lot of options! I can’t get a good job as I seem to lack the qualifications, and I can’t get shitty job because those are already taken by pizza faced kids.”
>She takes a deep breath, and does that weird hoof stretch motion.
>”Just give me the rest of them and I won’t call the guard.”
Well, it means that he hasn't eaten REAL food, hr's been eating out of garbage cans mostly, so that's how he's still alive on mobile, btw, can't writefag on mobile, just clear things up
hoh fuckin shit best writefag ITT is back and I cannot contain my erection
>"Call the guard, jail just means I get a meal for once"
That's actually pretty sad.
escpecialy if anon got >raped in prison
Or Trixie realizes he is as lonely as she is.
Someone would rape something twice their size from another world?
>What are clothes
Remember, this is 4chan, where >rape is like saying "hello."

Plausible or no, someone may already be writing it.
>Wow these things get heavy when full.
>In the sun the water was nice, now it’s kinda really shitty and like ice.
“Couldn’t you just magic them out of the sand, oh mighty one?!”
>This time it’s actually Rarity who calls back, AJ having her tarp in her mouth, and Twilight seems to have stopped talking entirely.
>”Just do what she says, this humidity is simply horrid.”
“Working on it!”
>You stretch your arms out and give some hearty jazz hands before slowly milling about and feeling about for the boxes.
>It is night after all and the running water isn’t helping, but you manage.
>You begin to wade back to the shoreline and begin to set down the mailboxes.
“See, all accounted for no need to call the guard, don’t want a repeat of last month do we?”
>It seems like it’s AJ’s turn to speak, it’s a little muffled by the tarp but still surprisingly clear.
>”No one does.”
>Last time you went full Vietcong, hiding in tunnels and pits until they gave up, you ain’t going to jail.
>Actually you managed to convince them that there was some deep evil in the forest.
>It’s amazing what leaving random fire pits and crosses can do.
>Twilight picks up the mail boxes in her magic.
>”C’mon, were going back to your camp.”
“What? Why?”
>”This is the second time this month, Mayor Mare asked me to search your stuff... Quite frankly I agree with her.”
>You lead them back up the hill and gesture to the cave entrance.
“Search away. Actually, let me make this easier on you.”
>You point over to the mattress and rolled up blanket.
“Here are all of my worldly possessions. Careful, you might be here all night rummaging through grand stacks of –“
>Rarity magics up the blanket and looks at the pattern.
>”You stole this from little Spikey!?”
>This was honestly news to you; you just grabbed it from an open window.
>Twilight seems to lose it at this point, using her magic to toss the mattress over.
>Rarity is still looking at the blanket, face scrunched in anger as she tries and fails to speak.
>AJ is simply leaning against the cave wall waiting to leave.
“You ponies think you’re so smart and egalitarian.”
>You crouch down and begin opening the mail boxes from the river, most are empty, but one has a couple crawfish in it.
>Who you promptly trap under a rock.
“If that’s true then why aren’t there more Griffon or Minotaur immigrants if shits so grand.”
>You grab hold of your fire poking stick and begin to poke the ground.
“If you’re so dammed smart why are you still using steam power, ya’ll can’t even figure out how a fucking two stroke works.”
>You begin to draw a simple diagram of the two stroke engine in the dirt.
“See, fucking port to chamber to crank to port to chamber to port, and here’s the fuel flow. Simple!”
>Twilight takes the blanket from Rarity and they proceed to march out of the cave seemingly satisfied with their search.
>She glances down at the diagram before continuing outside the cave.
“Finally, thank Christ.”
>Hey, it’s not all bad, dinners still trapped under a rock.
File: 1344713602476.jpg (87 KB, 476x495) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
87 KB, 476x495
This anon is my favorite hobo ever
File: Bump AJ.jpg (594 KB, 2400x2400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Bump AJ.jpg
594 KB, 2400x2400
See you all tomorrow.
File: image.jpg (72 KB, 590x547) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
72 KB, 590x547
Bump before bed.
Good night homeless Anon.
>It’s been a few weeks, no incidents either.
>With the money you managed to hide from the pony inquisition regaining your status as cave dweller was very easy.
>Heh, ponies wouldn’t hire you but they’ll take your money.
>This time you kept the receipts as well and bought yourself an actual canteen.
>If you have the bill of sale there’s no way they can claim theft… right?
>The money went pretty quickly and it was back to taking random bits of food from unsuspecting ponies.
>Or on slow days like today, trying more creative methods.
>Which is why you are lying in a shallow pit with a tarp over you.
>The tarp had a nice layer of dirt and a leaf to conceal it’s in manufactured nature.
>On top of that was a little slice of bread, just the crust thought, no way you’re gonna waste a whole slice of bread on something like this.
>Incoming movement!
>You grip down a little harder on the beatin’ stick and prepare yourself.
>Whatever it is, its big enough to feed you for at least a few days.
>Let’s just hope it isn’t made of wood like those damn wolves.
>Twilight, the voice is pretty easy to recognize.
>You release your grip on the improvised bat, no point now.
“What the hell? You’re scaring all the animals away.”
>”Anon I just want to talk.”
“Come back later, I’m trying to catch dinner… scratch that, don’t come back at all.”
>You can still hear her walking around, trying to find you.
>”Anon just come out and talk face to face. I might have work for you.”
>This perks up your ears, you curl over the edge of the tarp so that only the top half of your head is showing.
>Twilight is actually standing right in your sight line, she looks fairly confused.
“I’m listening.”
>”…What are you doing?”
“This is how I hunt, I’ve been walking all around town for the past two weeks, and my legs feel like a bunch of midgets took mini bats to them.”
>She’s not getting it; you roll your eyes and let out a very exasperated and irritated sigh.
“Ignore this situation, what is your employment opportunity?”

I'm out for the night.
Feels!! To many feel my heart can't take this.
Dat cliffhanger
>inb4 he is asked to become a male prostitute
>inb4 he hardly makes any money
>inb4 he sleeps in a box
>inb4 WhoreAnon
Please be joking
He is
Bump for writefriends
Le bumpity bump
>you had pulled the cart all night
>plenty of sleep was had inside the box, so you were good to go
>you stop when Trixie wakes up and tells you to pull off
>you hear rustling in the wagon, then the mare comes out with what looks like eggs and a skillet
>"start up a fire and I'll get you started"
>all of your yes
>it's been ages since you had something other than fruit
>you pull out your knife and a piece of flint and get to work on the wood you had collected on your trip
>a few moments later is springs to life
>moments after that it's big and hot enough to cook on
>you knew your stuff
>but it was time to learn something new
>trixie levitates the pan over the fire and cracks a single egg
>more rustling in the wagon
>plates and silverware fly out and float over to the two of you
>you sit on a log
>that was a mistake
>you turn away from the fire and stretch your legs out against the sudden cramps
>too late
>she noticed
>"are you alright? you look like you're in pain"
"f-fine, just, gah, cramps"
>"let me take care of it!"
>oh shit
just a quick update before I go to work
Reading from Ap Chem
Fucking cramps man
You knew Princess Celestia?
I did not say I knew him! I said he touched me on the shoulder once
File: image.jpg (514 KB, 2197x1463) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
514 KB, 2197x1463
>you are Anon
>you drank the magic bleach and ended up in Equestria
>can't believe it worked
>or maybe it didn't work
>because this sure seems a lot like Hell
>nobody likes you
>everybody hates you
>you're eating worms
>this is bullshit
>you're pretty sure you've acquired a taste for the damn things
>you only wanted to be with your waifu
>feels bad man
>this has been your life for two years
>decide to end it all
>sit down on the ground
>grab one of your spears
>point the stone blade toward your abdomen
>wake up
>in another Equestria
>everyone is a rainbow power alicorn with an Equestria Girls form
>everyone wants to have a tea party and play dressup with you
>the blue glow encases your tattered pants
>and they finally fall apart
>you sit there in your equally worn underwear as the cramps magically fade
>this is awkward
>the made looks you up and down
>"those were your only pair, weren't they"
>you deadpan at her
"No, I'm made of money and chose to look like a pauper"
>she snorts
>"yeah right, it's not like you needed clothes anyways, you're not at a ball"
>oh how wrong she is
>the leaves are slowly turning yellow and red
>winter is coming
I hate writing from my phone, but writefag bump was needed
I'd actually be okay with this
reading on
I can't wait for Gladiator battles
Blump from university
>you needed clothes to survive
>and not be embarrassed
>but now your cramp is completely gone
>thank fuck
>"here, eat"
>she passes you a plate
>scrambled eggs
>you notice she has one over easy on her plate
>you both eat slowly, you savoring the taste, her simply watching you
>you finish your meal and look up
>full for the first time in two years
>feels good
"So where do we start training?"
>might as well get started
>the more in shape you are, the better chance you have to win this 'arena'
>she blinks
>"uhh... let's start with basic strength building, since you already did plenty of cardio last night"
>her horn flashes, and suddenly she's wearing a whistle
>here we go
>you fall to the ground and attempt a push up
>walking was easy for you
>but you hadn't used your arms for much since you got here
>your arms give out and you fall face first to the ground
>"damn, here I was hoping you had a chance without much work"
>yeah right lady
>you don't go from skeleton to Hercules in a day
>but you're willing to do this if it means getting out of this hole that you fell into
>a hole dug by ponies who couldnt be assed to give you a chance
>it was time to prove them wrong
>you were going to fight
>for your right
>to party
Music and montage when I get home
>”That engine you were talking about a while ago, I seem to be having trouble with it.”
>You throw off the rest of the tarp and toss the beatin’ stick outside the pit.
“You actually made it?”
>”Yes, now, I would like to ask for y -“
“I’ll do it.”
>He eyes go wider for a moment and her ears swivel forward.
>”Well, I was going to say-“
“My terms are ten bits an hour and free reign over whatever food you have in that there abomination of a castle.”
>She considers for a moment, you know that ten bits an hour is below the minimum wage but she hasn’t seen how much you can eat.
>”Yeah, okay.”
“Hot diggity damn! Free food!”
>Her ears falter for a moment along with her expression, she already regrets this decision.
>Whatever, unlimited free food.
>You pick up your beating stick and drape the tarp over your shoulder, it’s off to the castle… tree… thing.
>”Don’t you need to get your stuff?”
“I ain’t got anything else except the mattress.”
>She has to gallop to catch up to you, throwing up some amount of dust.
“I’m also using your shower.”
SOOO much story
>you were going to fight
>for your right
>to party
Is that a hint for our montage song?
>The walk through town is reasonably short, your legs still quietly complain.
>Not that it really matters, Twilight moves to open the door only for it to be opened from the other side.
>What the hell is this?
“What the hell are you?”
>”My that’s quite rude.”
>Twilight seems more irritated than anything, it brings a smile to your face.
“I don’t know who you are but if she doesn’t like you, then you and me are gonna be friends buddy.”
>The Frankenstein of a creature curls around at impossible angles, detaches his own lion paw and levitates it towards you.
>”Discord, pleased to make your acquaintance.”
>You reach out your hand to shake the levitating mass, you squeeze down and involuntarily yelp.
>He has an electric buzzer in his hand, you rub your palm as he falls back cackling at his own entertainment.
“Oh yeah!? I’m gonna pimp slap you so hard you’ll be my bitch for the next five dimensions!”
>The laughter stops almost immediately, as he melts into the floor.
>Honestly this doesn’t surprise you anymore.
>”Just ignore him.”
“Done and done… where’s the kitchen?”
You guys got pastebins
When I get home
Are you writing this from mobile
Right now? Yep
>Discord and Twilight were having a conversation in the foyer.
>Perfect time for you to take everything you can out of the kitchen.
>You begin to dump any and all non-perishable food into the tarp.
>you tear open the next cabinet and let out a whistle.
“Hey there pretty ladies.”
>You take a couple of the ticker handles and wrap them up in dishtowels.
>You wrap up the tarp as it’s already having trouble closing, the grommets strain against the chord.
>Well, it’s time to stop planning and start having fun.
>There’s the vodka, here’s the orange juice.
>No container is big enough for the amount you made; as such you have several mismatched drinking apparatuses.
>Grabbing as many screwdrivers as you can you make your way back to the foyer.
>You use your back to push open the door and call out.
“Alright! Who wants a screwdriver!”
>Twilight raises her eyebrow and her ears flip back as you set down the drinks.
>”It’s ten in the morning”
>You grab the first one and begin to slam it down .
“You tryin’ to say this is a bad idea?”
>”Well it’s just that we have work to do and-“
“It’s fine, I can hold my liquor.”
>Discord takes one of the screwdrivers, snaps his fingers and settles in on a newly formed couch.
>”This should be good.”
“Hey up yours buddy I can hold my liquor.”


Give me a minute to upload this story.
Bravo! Writing from mobile is so hard. I had to write a couple posts in a greentext from mobile and it was brutal. I had such a bad headache after
I fucking love Anon
“Theeereee’s a yellow rose in Texas… I’m going theres to see!”
>You couldn’t hold your liquor.
“No odther feller knows, nobody onshly me!”
>After all, if you could you wouldn’t be in the library singing from the top of the stacks.
>How did you get up here, no clue, but Twilight left some time ago to fetch her prototype.
>You go to take another drink, aw what? It’s empty already.
“Hey-ey! Discoman how bout you make yer shelf useful and top me off here… eh, buddy?”
>Discord claps his mismatched limbs together and the glass was full again.
>”This is great.”
>He settles himself further into his seat and magics himself up some potato chips.
>The door swings open, Twilight trots in levitating a bunch of tools, behind her is spike.
>Migit dragon pushes the engine, thankfully there was a cart there to aid in it’s transportation.
“The engines here! Time fer work… Magic dude! Give me a hand here, or claw, or whatever.”
>With that you down the last of the screw driver and roll off the top of the stack.
>He doesn’t slow your fall at all, you hit the ground with a resounding thud.
“Ma-magic man… fix my bones please.”
>”Only because you asked so nicely.”
>A series of cracks comes from the lower half of your body as the bones men themselves.
“I’m back in the game! Letsh what you managed to put together.”
>You push spike out of the way and begin to inspect the 2-stroke.
>”Anon, are you sure you’re in any condition to-“
“Quiet you.”
>Your hand closes around her muzzle, if your focus wasn’t on the engine you would have been able to see expression.
>Discord does however, and he can’t contain his giggle fit, the look of surprise and discomfort pushing him over the edge.
>Suddenly you raise your glass, it’s still somehow intact after the fall, you pull it back down already full again.
“Thanksh you kindly.”

I'm out for now, got shit to do.
>running hurts if you dont wear shoes

what kind of pussy faggot are you?
I feel like anon and Spike would get along in this scenario. Basically, Spike is the only Dragon in Equestria, so he would kinda get how anon feels and they'd hit it off.
Obviously you haven't done enough barefoot running over hot tarmac.
>Spike is the only Dragon in Equestria
What do you mean? Spike already met some of his kind unlike Anon.
>Obviously you haven't done enough barefoot running over hot tarmac

Obviously, YOU haven't done enough barefoot running over hot tarmac. It only hurts the first week or so. Afterwards, you just get wooden skin.
>That Pic
seems like Robin Williams isn't having such a good time
Yup. Up in Alaska I lived in a trailer park with gravel roads. As a kid I'd run around barefoot all day. I had the strongest feet
I hope for your sake you only did that during the few months there isn't fucking snow on the ground up here
fuck frostbite man
fuck it up the ass with a cactus
File: 65354354635436543.jpg (7 KB, 205x246) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7 KB, 205x246
too soon
Alaska durring the spring and summer is pretty great. It really isn't the Icecub people think it is
I mean he's the only one that lives there. I mean I guess there was that Dragon that lives in the Everfree Forest, but the dragons during the dragon migration or whatever were just passing through. I mean yeah, he can go and meet other dragons whenever, but he's in the unique situation where he doesn't really fit in with them but he also doesn't really fit in with the ponies either.
More please
This is awesome
Anon and discord becoming buds... I'd love to read that
If you've been waiting for the next part, it's coming soon (In approx 1-2 hours, maybe less)
I am not kill
Fucking right!
Waiting for your story too mate
We didnt forget you
Dont forget that we love you and all writers__

"Well, I do and don't, you see, humans aren't built for "lone survival", if you will, as you can see, I have no fur, so I can't keep warm, I... I... also... uh.."
>"What's wrong? Why'd you get so quiet all of the sudden?" Applejack asks, concern in her voice
"I... I'm all skin and bones... wow... there's my ribs...
>"You can see your RIBS?!"
>More concern from ponies? Seems like you've grown on them quickly, it's nice that they're so accepting
"Yeah... I also don't have any fat... to keep me warm, so I guess I don't need em for the in doors, but out doors, absolutely, also if you don't mind seeing a naked human walking around in the house..."
>"Well, it's not like we wear anything, so I guess it'd be alright"
>You gather your damn disgusting clothes off from the floor, and open the door, she seems shocked
"Something the matter?"
>"You... weren't lyin', that's for sure, you ARE just skin and bones"
"Heh, yeah, so, I don't mean to be rude, but may I have some of those delicious apples you talked about earlier? I am understandably hungry"
>"Oh, yeah, sure, you can have as many as you want, we won't have a skeleton working the fields, unless you want to be a scare crow, heh"
>Cracking jokes now? How long until you're basically family?... Family? huh, that's odd... you just realised, you haven't had one the whole time you've been here... you've been completely lonely... lonely... no friends, no one to help you, until just one little girl decided to help you out
>You walk into what you assume is the kitchen, a nice bowl of apples on the middle of a table, no one's here, you assume they all went to bed, since this is a farm, and the sun is making it's descent down towards the horizon
>"Dig in"
>You dig in, alright, you dig in with more ravenous hunger than a man who walked across the Mojave desert
>All the apples are reduced to cores in mere seconds
Hit the limit
Anon becomes friends with mane 6 I'm going to guess
>"Also, we decided that you won't be in the barn, instead you can sleep on the couch, out here"
>She points with a hoof to the couch in the next room
>That phrase is enough to bring tears of happiness to your eyes
>Quietly, you say
"Thank you... so much, for all of your help, I'll be in fields before you know it, bringing in plenty of crops for you, I owe you big time"
>"Sure thing, also I know a friend who should be able to help you with your clothes, seeing as these probably won't help you much, we could get you some new ones, and perhaps get you trimmed up? I know you said you don't got fur, but I'd say you got plenty on your face"
>You touch your chin, huh, you have a full beard, you really need to start caring for your body again
"Mind if I hit the sack?"
>"Not at all, there's some blankets next to the couch if you need em', g'night"
>You lay down on the couch, grab a blanket, and fall asleep almost the instant your head hit the cushion


>The next morning, the family gets up at their usual time, but decide to help their newest addition to their farm
>"I'll take these over to rarity's, see if she can fix em' up"
>She puts anon's clothes into her bag, and leaves
>"I think I'll stay here and keep him company, I think he'd like that" Applebloom suggests
>"I'll also wait here, I wanna ask him some things about himself" Granny smith says
>Big mac goes "Eyup" and leaves (I have no idea what he'd do)


>You are applejack, and you're gonna help the human in your house, with new clothes
>Rarity's the element of generosity.. so she'll help, right?
>Maybe you can convince her to expand her boundaries or something
>You make it to her house, and knock on the front door, a few second later rarity answers
>"Ah, applejack, you're just in time, I need you to-"
"Uh, holdon, I got somethin' that's kinda urgent that I need you to do."
>"Oh? what do you need?"
He might, might not, it'd help him though, since he is the lonely anon
Looking good
I feel like Applejack is being too nice too him.

Racist Barn Racist Barn 1 2 3 4
>Ahm the element of honesty here, ya now mister anon, and Ah just have to say that you're some stinkin' filthy one hell of a nigger, boy.
"I need you to make clothes for... the human"
>"The what?"
"Ugh, the "Freaky alien", don't ask why, I just need some clothes for him, can you do that for me?"
>"Hmm... I don't know, I might be able to, It'd be a good challange to test my skills, do you have something I could perhaps have a reference from?"
"Well, yeah, let me take them inside"
>You walk in, and lay the clothes out on a table
>"Uh, why do they smell like something crawled inside of them and died?"
"Well, he's been homeless, not any more though, you don't need to keep these, just make something like them, not stylish, I need something sturdy, since he'll be wearing them out in the fields"
>"I never said I'd only make one set of clothing, why not several? Although I'm doing this for me, not for him, understand"
"Yeah, whatever your motives are, I just need some new ones for him"
>Rarity makes a sketch of the clothes, without all the holes, stains, rips, marks, and dirt


>You are anon, and you've finally woken up from the first night you've gotten actual rest
>Look over, see that applebloom and granny smith are sitting in the other couches in the room
"Ah, good morning"
>"Oh, you're awake, I didn't know how long you where gonna be asleep" Applebloom says
>"I almost thought you weren't gonna wake up, glad I'm wrong, because I want you to tell me about yourself" Granny smith says
"Alright, can I tell you about it during breakfast?"
>"Sure, applebloom, would you mind making something real quick? maybe some pancakes?"
>"Alright, granny"
>as she goes and prepares to cook breakfast, granny smith asks you several questions
>"So, where are you from?"
"From a planet called "Earth"
>"That's an interesting name, what's it like?"
"Hmm, where to start? well, It's got 7 continents, many languages, almost too many to count, Most of the surface is covered in an ocean of salt water..."

File: IMG_5241.gif (329 KB, 363x436) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
329 KB, 363x436
>Freaky Alien
Yeah, but character developement is boring, and just assume that applebloom convinced them all to pity him enough to not be such a bad guy
Ol' ways die hard.
> character development is boring
u dun goof'd with that post.

Don't get me wrong I'm liking your story so far, a solid 7/10.
But good character development can make or break a good story.
Minion_Dribble's Rarity and Trixie stories are a perfect example.
>Anon wants to give up and die alone
I'm sure there will be more development. He just didn't want to kill too much time at the beginning of the story explaining why Applejack decided to help
That I can understand and support.
I've just seen so many stories with good potential end up pic related
due to half-assery
I wrote a green text once, and my story started out really slow, due to development. But I think it was worth it at the end of the story. It just makes the story that much more realistic and believable
>>1965743 If you want some more character development, don't hesitate to ask

>Back at rarity's, she's been making a up a storm, and had applejack wash anon's clothes, which she could have done herself, but wanted to start making new clothes before she fixed those
"Well, they look a bit better now, not as dirty and filth covered anymore, and the soap should help to get that awful smell out..."
>"Applejack, I need you to come in here and tell me if these are alright"
>She's done already? that was fast
> As you walk in, you see many sets of clothing that are similar to anon's old ones, but you're not sure if they're acceptable
"Well... these aren't for me to judge, they're for anon after all"
>"Is his name anon?"
"Yeah, but he'd have to come here to look at em, or I could take them back to him, but I think you'd rather have him give his criticism"
>"Hmm, I suppose"
"Also, can you finish cleaning these? and fix em up, too, since they're the only thing that I know he can wear"
>"Fine, allow me"
>With a shine of light, and a burst of magic, his clothes look, and smell, much better
"Alright, I'll be back with him"
>"I'll see you then, now to get back to..."


>You are anon again
>Well, you've finished giving granny smith all the information about earth you can, you wonder if she'll remember any of it, who knows
"So, yeah, our planet doesn't have some powerful being raising the sun every day, it just rotates all on it's own"
>"That's odd, I can't imagine there not being a princess around to give us the sun every day"
>Just then, the door opened, and in walked applejack
"Ah, hello again"
>"Hey, I got these fixed up for yah"
>she pulls out your old clothes from her bag, and they're not fucking disgusting, how about that
"Hey, thanks very much"
>"Ah, don't mention it, since we need you to be healthy and comfortable if you're really gonna help around the farm, and my friend made some more clothes for you"
File: oh-fuck.gif (473 KB, 500x200) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
473 KB, 500x200
Alright, I see, I'm not gonna half ass my first REAL write faggotry, I'm just trying to fit a bunch of shit into a 2k character limit post, so I'm always rushing a bit, these would be much longer if I could make em
I was also listening to When I read that post https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9IbQpHP03g
>Anon working in fields
>Twilight comes to see Applejack
>Dash sees Anon
>Twilight and Anon become friends
>Twilight understands Anon's problem and tries to make a machine to send him back to Earth
>During the process they fall in love
>Happily ever after

There wasn't much need to develop character to explain it. It's already in character. Remember Apple Bloom was the only one who didn't completely sperg out about Zecora.
Waiting for that Rocky 4 montage
Will this story end up like
>Pic related?
If so I'm so excited
File: Happy_Place.jpg (5 KB, 258x196) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
5 KB, 258x196
writefag is kill
He definitely is not kill. He's been gone for like 6 hours
>Not homoerotic undertoned Rocky 3
It's good, but were going great here anon
This...this is true
>not Mulan
I thought we went over this
Who the fuck are we going to be homoerotic with? Literally the only other character in the sotry is Trixie.
Not this again.
>>19659290 Mah nigga gets it

"So, should we go over to your friend's house?"
>"Yeah, let's, also her name is rarity, she's amazing at creating clothes and accessories for fancy ponies and all that"
>Neat, the farmer happens to be a friend of a fashion artist...
>You put on your old clothes and find that they're not filled with dirt, sand, or some dead rodent in one of your sleeves
>You walk back into the town, clean, not covered in mud or wet from the rain
>You don't even acknowledge most dirty looks and glares from the townsfolk
>"Well, here we are" applejack says as she knocks on the door of the building in front of you
>A white mare with a poofy purple mane opens the door
>"Ah, hello again Applejack, you must be anon, good to meet you"
"Yes, and I assume that you are rarity, so I hear you've made me some clothes?"
>"Why yes, I have, come take a look at them"
>You walk into the building, and see 5 racks in which appear to be your clothes
>The first one is what seems to be a short sleeved plain white T-Shirt, with what appear to be jeans
>Strange, somehow she knows what casual wear looks like
>Next one is a Brown trench coat with black pants and white buttoning shirt
>The fuck, how does she know what you actually enjoy wearing?
>After that it's another plain shirt, with some shorts that are black with blue stripes
>Not bad, either
>After that it's a damn suit
>No seriously, the fuck?
>After that it's a flannel coat, much like one you had before you came here
>Last one is a Pair of overalls with a brown shirt
>Fitting for the farmer appearance
"I'd say that they're perfect"
>"You really think so? not just saying that to flatter me?"
"Nope, completely honest from the bottom of my heart"
>"Well, thank you, I worked hard on these"
"So, do I just take em with me? do I need to pay for them?"
>"No, I did this as a favor for applejack"
Gonna take a break for a while, I'll be back
I'm not sure if Rarity genuinely wants to help Anon. And have a good break friend
Well, maybe we call upon Apollo Creed Tupla? That way it looks totally wierd to Trixie when she can't see who we're training with
I will be waiting. Hopefully a writefag comes back soon

Well, I think she does, but she is also always interested in a design challenge to improve her skills.

Reminds me how Lauren Faust actually wanted to make Rarity the Element of Inspiration, but Hasbro thought that was too complicated for kids or something.
File: 1363691321319.jpg (52 KB, 498x453) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
52 KB, 498x453
File: image.jpg (54 KB, 496x368) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
54 KB, 496x368
I will begin again shortly
>>19661131 Whoops, forgot to namefag

>Take the clothes off their racks and walk out the door
>Equestria's finally feeling a bit like home, except you've never been a farmer, or used a farm instrument, or lived on a farm
>But you have clothes an a home now
>"So, do you like your new clothes?"
"Yeah, they're all pretty good, amazing, actually, don't even know how she knew what I'd like"
>"Yeah, that's rarity for ya, knows just what a person wants before they do"
"Ah crap, I still need a haircut"
>"Oh, yeah, you do... you don't need anything fancy do ya?"
"No, a buzz cut would be just fine, actually, or just extremely short, so long as I lose the beard"
>"I think we got something you could use, if not we can go over to a barbershop"
"Yeah, that'd be nice, I prefer short hair"
>Once you get back, you set your things down on one of the couch arm rests and take a seat
"So, when can I start working?"
>"Ya sure are eager for work, it seems"
"Not much of a workaholic, just that I want to repay you for all that you've done for me in the past few days, giving me a home, clothes, food, I don't want to hold up on that"
>"Well, I think we can get you started tomorrow"
>"So, what'd you talk about with granny while I was away?"
"Ah, just where I came from, and a brief history of our planet"
>"I see... where did you come from?"
"Well, I came from a planet called earth... and it's an interesting place... I need to share with you some music from there"
>"What do you listen to on... earth?"
"Oh, where to begin... well, we use instruments made out of metal, and some made out of wood and...."


>You are applebloom
>Today hasn't been going well, as most of the kids are making fun of you because they saw you talking to what they called "the freaky alien"
>You already learned something from anon, in which you should never bother arguing with someone to prove your point, as all it'll do is make them hate you more

>Diamond tiara is the one who started most of it
>But, coincidentally tomorrow is like a genealogy day, you think that anon is close enough to a relative, and he is pretty old
>Well, he looks really old, anyway, and he seems as wise as old guy stereotypes
>He should be able to give some really interesting stories, being from a different world and all that
>You're excited to be able to show your class exactly who he is, and maybe people will stop being so harsh to him
>Thankfully, school ends quickly, and you rush home to ask him if he can come and give a story


>Back to anon, you finished telling applejack how humans make music and the different types, along with how it's changed over time
>you intend to bring some of it here, you just don't know yet
>Well, there's magic, maybe they can extract the knowledge directly...
>Just then, applebloom walks in the door
>"Hey, anon, I was wonderin', if you can come to this thing that we're doing in my class at school, all I need you to do is tell a story from your world"
"Oh? I'd be glad to, actually"
"Yeah, but I won't be able to stay, since I'm gonna start working tomorrow"
>"That's fine, you just need to tell a story real quick"
"Does it have to be about me? because there's not many interesting things that happened in my life, but there are however stories from an even known as World War two I can tell.."
>"Uh, what's world war two?"
"Well... it happened about 80 or so years ago, not quite sure, but, what happened was..."
"Hmm, y'know, it'd make a lot more sense if I could tell you the full history of earth in your class instead"
>"Well, yeah, but... I guess you could give some history before you gave your story"
"Yeah, that'd help, also I really need a haircut if I'm gonna stand in front of a bunch of kids, don't want to look menacing"
Moar story
>"Well, you look old with that beard, anyway, maybe we could straighten it out, make it look right"
"I guess I could, it'd still be easier to just cut it, but anyway, I guess I'll tell a war story or something, yeah that'll work"
>"Alright, I guess I'll see you there tomorrow"
>she leaves, and you just noticed it's getting late
>well, time to sleep again, probably gonna have to wake up early this time


>Next day
>Walk with applebloom to her schoolhouse, see some other people doing the same thing with other fillies and colts
>Y'know, you're getting less and less dirty looks and glares the more you go out, good
>Take a seat in the classroom, many of the younger ponies are glancing back at you, but they're not glaring, probably just weary
>wonderful, even the kids are getting used to you
>a few stories later, many of the kids and adults are half asleep already
>Your turn
>"And now we have... anonymous" the teacher says
>Walk up to the front of the class room
"Hello everyone, my name is anonymous, from earth"
>You have the entire room's full attention, time to tell your story
"My story takes place in a time long ago, eight decades in fact, on earth, during a time in which my race was at war with each other, the main Perpetrator of the previous war was a Neighboring country, Austria Hungary, who where allies with Germany at the time, the leader of Germany at the time, is a man known as Adolf Hitler, who is still upset about what the allied countries did to Germany after the First World war. So one thing led to another, and this happened. At the time, allied forces are invading Germany, wars on earth are fought with what are known as Aircraft, which allow humans to fly through the air, and tanks, giant armored monsters meant to terrify the enemy and protect those inside"
>All faces in the class are full of interest
Cool way to introduce him to the class
>You tell them about a typical Dog fighting story, since I'm sure they'll be surprised to learn that humans may be better at flying than they are
"In the skies of Britain, over London, the German Luftwaffe attacks, using their Infamous, although outdated Junker 87 Stuka dive bomber, this bomber is equipped with Jericho Trumpets, so that whenever it uses it's airbrakes, it makes a terrifying Siren sound, directly over it's target. Imagine, walking on a street when suddenly, right above you "WHIIIIIRRR" Getting louder and louder until it suddenly stops, and then BOOM, the bomb hits shortly after, causing heavy damage to roads, buildings, and lives, Often traumatizing those who are unfortunate enough to survive the attack, usually live on with PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, An unfortunate fate for anyone, and that is my story"
>That wasn't nearly as good as I'd hoped...
>Goddamn stukas? yeah, makes them think humans are great I bet
>"That was... interesting"
"I think that sucked... ugh, next time let me just give a history lesson or something"
>Thankfully you have work to get your mind off of that, since it blew ass
>Go back to sweet apple acres by yourself, since applebloom had to stay behind for school
>Walk into house and see applejack
"Hey, I'm ready to start working"
>"Alright, let's get to it"
>Applejack shows you how to use the tools, and... farming things
>Do these farming duties throughout the day
>Come back to the house after a while
>After you eat dinner, you take a shower and get into your Trench coat with black pants
"Alright, Applejack, I could use a haircut now"
>"Alright, let's get you over to the barbers"
>Go back to the town, into the barbers shop which is still open, even though it's getting late
>"How may I help you... sir?"
"I could use... let's see, a shave for my beard, and a trimming for my hair"
>An exchange of cash and one haircut later
Goddamnit, that was shit, can we all pretend that the story telling part never happened? ugh, seemed way better in my head...
It wasn't as bad as you think man. It's fine
It wasn't bad
He made sound effects while telling a story
Is he autistic?
Try to keep in mind the age of the ponies he's talking to.
Or the mental age of the writefags audience.
>"I'm gonna head back home, see ya later"
"Yeah, I'm gonna wander around for a bit, then come back"
>You go your way, she goes hers
>It's not long in your casual walk, until you spot a pony sitting alone on a bench
>She looks sad... in fact, she's crying
>You decide to talk to her, She's a Pegasus, and she's got a fairly pretty Golden Mane with Grey skin
"Hey, what's gotten you so sad?"
>She looks up with a start, you notice that one of her eyes is seemingly a lazy eye, always looking in the wrong direction, kinda cute actually
>"O-oh... it's just that... all the other mares have been making fun of my eyes"
"I don't think that there's anything wrong with 'em, In fact, they make you even more unique and individual"
>"D-do you really think that?"
>She perks up a bit
"Yes, absolutely, don't let anyone put you down for being different, don't give in, just continue to be yourself, don't even acknowledge them, they're not worth your attention, not even a little"
>"Oh, okay then... thanks... Y'know, I wouldn't have expected the... um... I'm so sorry, what are you?"
"Hehe, It's alright, my name is anonymous, I'm a human"
>"Heh, I wouldn't expect the human, from another dimension to be the one who comforts me, rather than another pony, thanks"
"Don't mention it, it's what I do"
>Not many other ponies out right now, so not really anyone to notice the good deed, well, she'll probably be able to spread the word herself
>"Oh, by the way, my name's Derpy"
"Ah, nice to meet you, Derpy"
>Well, you've made another friend, alright
"Well, I have to go now, maybe we can talk again another time"
>"Yeah, although I'm not usually down here, I'm either at the PO box or up in cloudsdale"
"Ah, that's fine, I'll probably end up being at the farm most of the time"
>"Oh, is that where you live? I think I deliver the mail to there every once in a while"
"Well, I'll be off now, try to keep in touch, eh?"
>"I will"
File: look its a.jpg (19 KB, 304x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
look its a.jpg
19 KB, 304x400
File: dubz.jpg (34 KB, 800x472) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
34 KB, 800x472
Trips and Dubs make me feel a bit bitter
It was for the kiddies... and the fact that none of them probably even know what Jericho Trumpets are, so y'know
ebig simbly ebig d:^)
>Walk back to your new home, sweet apple acres
>Nothing really eventful happens for several weeks, aside from the residents beginning to accept you being there
>Most of the townsfolk now know your name, and you've actually made friends with many of them, no longer do you have angry glares or hateful remarks
>Now it is a smile in your direction, a kind wave
>And today is your day off
>By day off, it's more like, now you're selling the apples that you've harvested in the town
>You are currently manning the apple stand, with applejack
>Over time, you make a few profits here and there, eventually, though, some of Applejack's friends actually drop by to say hello
>The first one of her friends to say hello
>actually hello is an understatement
>Is a mare who is entirely pink, save for her eyes
>"Hey, AJ, and... are you the one everyone's been calling anon?" The pink pony asks
"I sure am"
>"I've been needing to throw you a welcoming party, but somehow I could never find you"
"Really? a party?
>"Yeah! all for you, and I also want to get to know you better"
"Well, sure, since I could always use more friends"
>"Oh, and it'll be a surprise party, so you won't know when it hits you"
>She then leaves as fast as she appeared
>The next one to show up is an interesting one, that's for sure
>Rainbow mane, blue skin
>"Hey, AJ"
>"Hi, rainbow"
>"So, what're you up to?"
>"Well, I'm just here selling apples"
>"That's pretty boring, you should come and hang out with me"
>"Well, I can't in case you didn't notice, I can't just leave the stand"
>"Just dump it on him, then"
>"That's the reason why, I'm not gonna do that to him, and he's my friend, by the way, thanks for asking"
>"Well, okay then, if you want to stop being lame just join us"
>Barely even acknowledged your existence aside from someone whom work can be dumped on
Limit, also running out of ideas for things to have anon do, any suggestions?
File: just die already.gif (980 KB, 245x180) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
just die already.gif
980 KB, 245x180
Also this'll be the last post until the same time tomorrow
have anon do something to change skittle's opinion
not my intention
more like being helpful or whatever
I'll be waiting anon
There's no one in town that I know
You gave us some place to go
I never said thank you for that
Thought I might get one more chance

Goodnight /mlp/
File: 1409254281853.png (283 KB, 500x533) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
283 KB, 500x533
More like surprise intercourse
Rainbow Dash wouldn't do that you dick
damn me to hell guys, I got sucked into playing Destiny, I finally managed to get away from it in time to get some sleep, I'll be writefagging from my phone today as self punishment later, pinkie swear, cross my heart and hope to die, if I don't may I forever be known as a massive fucking faggot, all that crap, it's going to happen damnit, even if I can't post montage music with it
Waiting intensifies
File: image.jpg (68 KB, 500x496) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
68 KB, 500x496
>we're talking here about RD... faggot
>not greentexting properly
mossbergison pls
Newfag detected
No, just leave
>It's been a month since you started this
>magic food has reverted your skeleton status
>exercise has turned that weight to muscle
>and time has brought you closer to the arena in Canterlot
>traveling on foot means it takes months to get anywhere
>but that time has already shaped you
>you sit up from your mat on the bottom of the wagon and squint in the pre-dawn light
>time to train
>you get out and start the cookfire again
>then you do exercises
>50 pushups
>50 sit ups
>50 jumping jacks
>and the new one
>5 pull ups
>you'll ratchet that number up this week
>just like you did for all the others
>when your done, you sit by the fire and wait for Trixie
>a few moments later she shuffles out of the wagon
>about time
>she smiles at you
>her horn glows, and in your waiting hand appears a sword
>it's purple
>because it's magic
>like the skeleton ponies she just conjured
>your targets, and the only thing your sword could hit
>you sidestep around the fire, putting it at your back
>then you leap forward, sword first
>the lead skeleton is impaled in it's face
>it drops and dissipates
>two left
>they're flanking you
>so you spin
>it hits nothing
>but that's what you wanted
>some breathing room
>you turn to the skeleton on your right
>it charges
>and you know the one behind you is mirroring him
>so you stand and wait
>when they get close enough they can't change course, you jump and raise your legs above them
>they run into each other comically
>then you crush them under your bare feet
>ashes to ashes
>dust to dust
>magic to magic
>"that was fast"
"Two weeks of practice will do that"
>"good, because tomorrow we'll be at the arena"
>damn straight
>you are ready
Aww yes
It`s time they returned to the life thread
Hang on a fucking minute weres the mane six
That's up to the writefags
who said we have to write about ponies?
For those who know me, I will be putting Nightshade anon on hold for a while. to much bug pone for now. i'll announce on the wednesday thread, of course
I've got something going, will post sometime today
Good idea. Excitedly awaiting
“I can tell ya now that the compression ratio is absolutely fucked, and the exhausht ports are unnecessarily big.”
>You take you hand off her muzzle and reach into the bag of tools and draw out what you assume to be the correct wrench.
>Take a sip, and start taking the engine apart.
>Of course being drunk you forgot to drain any fluids into the pans laid out for you.
>Of course being drunk you don’t exactly keep it clean either.
>Fortunately the only being you manage to paint with oil and fuel is you.
“Egh. What ish this stuff?”
>”It’s a 1 to 2 mixture of kerosene and oil.”
“Kerosene, well I hasth heard of people using that before.”
>Like a good drunk you managed to keep your drink free of the hydrocarbons.
>Knock back the rest of it and set the glass down.
>You begin tearing out parts with little care for cleanliness.
>Out comes the piston, you raise this up and wipe away any obstructing liquid.
“Where the hells are the rings?”
>Peering back down into the chamber you make another statement.
“I, cansh also tell ya now that your tolerances are waaaay too wide.”
>”Wait, before you move on can you tell me what rings you are referring to?”
>With a sudden burst of movement that you thought would be impossible in your state you grab spike by the shoulders and pull him into you.
>He is uneasy to say the least.
“Spork, wheresh the design sheet for this here… abomination of science?”
>”Twilight keeps it in her room, wh-“
“We musht adjourn… to the… to the place you just said.”

Just realized I did kinda fuck up that part, eh, one bad line won't destroy the whole thing.
It won't, and is OP still here? Just wondering
>Getting up the stairs was a massive pain, after all you were maybe 8 or so deep.
>Eventually you managed to piss off Twilight so much that she teleported you straight to the room.
>Spike left to go help out at the boutique, but Discord stuck about for some reason.
“Alshrity then, letsh see whats what.”
>You stumble your way over to the design plans, it’s pinned to the wall.
“Firsht order of business! Another round of drinks.”
>With a small flash a new full glass appears in your hand, as well as Discords.
>Twilight snorts in anger, her stance dropping, ears back.
>”For Celestias sake! Stop giving him liquor.”
>”But it’s so funny.”
>You ignore the exchange behind you and take a smaller sip, already having decided to taper off.
“This won’t do at all!”
>Both Discord and Twilight look over.
“Thish is wrong, and this, yer gonna want some vanes if thish air cooled.”
>Since grabbing a quill would be too much work you decide to mark up the paper with the oil on your hands.
>”Why! Why! There’s a quill right there.”
“I already took sheh time to learn your assbackwards fokin language. So shut it short stuff.”
>More giggles behind you, whatever, keep editing.
>It takes you a good hour or so, but you manage to correct all the problems.
“There… done.”
>Twilight comes up alongside you and looks it over; you take another sip before continuing.
“Sh-ship this off to the machine shop and welsh see how it works.”
>Without saying anything she magics over a bag of bits, and continues looking over the design.
>Discord has since fallen asleep on another one of his couches.
>You walk over and tap lightly shake his shoulder.
“Discord… Disco man! Discord!”
>He wakes up with a start, making a few sputtering noises.
“I’m hungry, and I got some money now, you wanna go get some food or somethin.”
File: 1402703883747.png (403 KB, 764x1060) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
403 KB, 764x1060
> tfw no whore Anon waifu
they're becoming buds, hell yeah !
Exactly what I thought
File: 1406557093749.jpg (15 KB, 292x257) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
15 KB, 292x257
>”You smell overwhelmingly of sweat and booze.”
“Yeah, nowsh who’s fault is that?”
“Mebbe so, but you comin’ or not? I’m paying.”
>”I’m the prince of chaos, food is least of my concerns.”
“Well schleepy you fellsh asleep on a couch so I’m inclined ta disagree… ya coming.”
>He wearily regards you for a moment.
>”Yes, but please, grant me a few moments so I may dress in proper attire.”
>There’s a series of flashes as the couch disappears and a Hawaiian shirt appears on him.
>He holds his talon out and a cigarette holder appears with a piece of taffy sticking out the end.
>”Whatever shall we do with Twilight?”
“Eh, she seems a might bit busy like.”
>The two of you make your way down the stairs, stopping only to grab the tarp full of food and booze.
>You sling it on your back and rendezvous with Discord in the foyer.
>Spike comes back in as you are about to leave, allowing you to drink the rest of your screwdriver and palm the empty glass on a confused spike.
“So what’s this reform stuff I’m hearing about?”
>The walking and fresh air are sobering you up pretty quick, you rate yourself a tipsy.
>”My my, word does take a long time to reach your ears doesn’t it?”
>He suddenly appears inside your ear as a miniature version of himself.
>”Not that I can blame you, after all your ears seem rather small. I would barely call these living conditions at all!”
“What are you trying to say you magical ponce?”
>”Simply that it’s old news and hardly worthwhile of gossip.”
“Egh, whatever, just needed something to t-“
>With a flash he appears next to you full size and grabs your head with his paw and turns you a to a specific little café.
“Easy! Easy now, don’t want me to vomit on ya.”
>”Fluttershy is always telling me about this place, lets go here.”
“Well it seems the yellow one was correct. That was good.”
>”Oh she’s simply marvelous, actually she was…”
>You tune out the rest; you can’t mention her name without Discord going off on a tangent about her.
>”So that’s how I found out She-“
“Dear god, just shut up and bone her already.”
>”So coarse! I prefer to handle this matter with tact.”
>His exclamation drew no attention from the other patrons, especially since you were actually being served your food in an alley.
>The café was willing to take your money, but not willing to be seen serving you.
>You set the now empty plate down on the milk crate in front of you.
“Hey, you done with your food?”
>”Yes, why do you ask?”
>You take a quick look at the shadows on the street.
“The waitress has been coming back every twenty minutes, that gives us another ten minutes before she drops off the check.”
>With a quick shift of your body you bring the tarp to the front of your chest and open the drawstring.
>Using a practiced hand you quickly scoop up the plates and cups and dump them in the tarp, squishing down the food a little.
“C’mon lets go.”
“Dine and dash, lets go.”
>”I thought you said you were paying?”
“I was until they shoved us in this alley.”
>The door to the café bursts open it’s a rather large earth pony with an apron and a frying pan.
>Behind him is the unicorn server, they must have heard you through the door.
“Bail! Bail!”
>Discord teleports away immediately.
“What about me!?”
>The cook and server look over at you, time to run.
>Being homeless and a thief for so long has given you lots of practice at escape.
>With a fair amount of grace You jump atop the café’s dumpster and clamber onto the roof.
>The two ponies look a little dumbfounded, teleportation must be a little too advance for the unicorn.
>With a flash of light discord appears next to you, another flash of light and the two of you are on the edge of the forest.

Taking a break, I'll be back though.
>alone and homeless
>decide that this is my final chance
>run up to a pony

Mabinogigamer777 her skype. holy shit i've never got off to a RD cosplay in V chat before. not like this!
Please leave
Lurking as always
File: 1408308279046.jpg (3 KB, 225x225) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 KB, 225x225
>report spamming assholes
>hide spamming assholes
>ignore spamming assholes
Who are you quoting?
I couldn't find the pic, so I quoted it
someone here must have it
File: image%3A1.jpg (54 KB, 600x452) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
54 KB, 600x452
>“Easy! Easy now, don’t want me to vomit on ya.”
Why did I have to laugh so hard on this
Waiting mate
As am I
Dubs must have given me inspiration, because shortly after putting that out, I got an idea... will be posting soon
oi m8s I'm w8ing 2 we should start a l8 d8 night club for m8s where we can w8 until the d8 when writefag sees fit to rel8 the rest of his story to us m8s no h8
>A few moments after she's gone, a purple unicorn with a darker mane walks up to the stand
>"Hey, are you anonymous?"
"Yeah, you need something?"
>She seems a tad excited
>"I was wondering if you could teach us about human anatomy, at the schoolhouse, your audience will be medical professionals and scientists"
>Oh, you can tell them about your anatomy? that's neat
"I'd love to, let me ask AJ first"
>as you turn to her she just nods
"Alright, when do I need to be there?"
>"Tomorrow, at 8:00 AM"
"I'll be there"
>After that, not much conversation is struck up with anyone, aside from the occasional transaction of bits
>AJ actually lets you keep half of today's profits

>The next day, you arrive at the schoolhouse at around 7:40
>already, ponies with notebooks and check boards are filling the room
>guess the usual classes where either cancelled or moved somewhere else so this could happen
>"Welcome, everyone, to Twilight's Human anatomy study session"
>She motions for you to stand as she takes a seat near the front
"Well, hello everyone, my name is anonymous, and I'll be telling you everything I know about my own anatomy"
>You draw a rough sketch of the human body
"I'll start with the vital organs, in the head, surrounded by bone is the brain, it is comprised of.."
>You tell them your full knowledge of the human anatomy, which is enough to give them an understanding of your circulation, organs, veins, arteries, muscles
>7:00 PM
>Begin to walk back to sweet apple acres, when suddenly, you get an incredibly strong feeling
>almost a voice in your head
>Go back to the everfree, back to where you first appeared
>oddly enough, it sounds like a good idea
>If you remember correctly, which is highly unlikely, since that was almost a year ago, it only took a few minutes
>and this spot is eerily familiar
>this is where you first met the ponies
>you begin your walk, and it feels like something is guiding you in that direction
>Something is definitely pulling you in the direction you're going
>but it's comforting, you don't know why
>comforting in a way that tells you, you'll never be alone again, you'll always have someone
>5 minutes later, you arrive at the clearing you first appeared in
>something's off, however
>even with the light slowly fading, you can see something in the middle of the clearing
>a pure black puddle, a few feet across
>that something is telling you that this is where the feeling is coming from
>and that feeling is much stronger here
>greatly tempting you to go over, and touch it
>you're going to be cautious, however
>as you move into the clearing, you grab a stick about 2 feet long
>upon closer inspection of the puddle, which has actually made a depression in the ground, you can see it's actually comprised of... what seems to be liquid and living things
>things that are squirming, reaching, crawling, swimming
>some of the things are constantly surfacing, going under, and coming back out
>as you put the stick lightly into the pond, several tendril like structures suddenly appear to grab it
>it shocks you, but you keep holding on to it, the feeling is now telling you, do NOT let go
>the tendrils begin reaching up the stick, running along it, moving towards your hand
>less than an inch away from your hand
>a brief moment passes, and from the stick, many of these tendrils suddenly extend onto your hand and wrist
>you fall back, pulling your arm back, but you don't get far, as the tendrils suddenly constrict your hand with a crushing grip, and straighten out as they pull against you
>the tendrils move up your arm, up to your elbow in seconds, and stopping for several more
>as you stop pulling on them, they somewhat release their grip.. and you feel glad that they're holding on to you
>their grip is now only a firm grasp, as they lightly tug at your arm, edging you towards the puddle
>you stand, and lean forward
File: 1406676501096.png (586 KB, 850x1100) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
586 KB, 850x1100
I wish there were more stories like that. There's something about ponies liking MLH that really tugs on my heartstrings.
>you lean forward some more, and fall in
>as you suddenly plunge much deeper than the puddle appeared to be, you are overcome with joy and peace
>a voice speaks to you, from seemingly everywhere
>"...call on the lazy ledded stepping hours, whose speed is but the heavy plummet's pace.."
>Your arms and legs, deconstructed ever so lovingly and gently by this mass that is now embracing you
>"...and glut thyself with what thy womb devours, which is no more than what is false, and vain, and merely mortal dross, so little is thy loss, so little is thy gain..."
>something pushes into you, and you welcome it, becoming overwhelmed by the happiness you are experiencing
>"then long eternity shall greet our bliss, with an individual kiss-"
>your skin is opened, and in floods this presence
>"and joy shall overtake us, as a flood, when everything that is sincerely good, and perfectly divine, with truth, and peace, and love, shall ever shine..."
>your mind is opened up by the mass
>"are you happy?"
"...Is... is this heaven?"
>"It's the next best thing"
"who.. are you?"
>"you do not need to know, only know that I will be with you forever, for I am so tired, of existing by my own efforts, I will give you my body"
"well... why me?"
>"I chose the one who I thought deserved it, I chose you, so you don't have to be so alone all the time, now, shhh..."
>You are no longer human
>How long has it been? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Years? you can't tell
>you can't see
>or touch
>or hear
>or anything
>nothing but joy
>and love

>unfortunately, you are snapped back to reality, and realize, you are actually blind, as your mind begins to work again
>what just happened to you?
>luckily, your vision begins to fade back, blurry and distorted at first
>slowly, you are able to see
>you're in a shallow hole
>in that hole with the puddle
>you try to move your arm, when you realize, you don't have one
>It’s been awhile since you touched up on Sparkles designs.
>Maybe like three weeks or so?
>This last week has been both lean and boring as hell.
>No work as per usual, but now Disco was out on some assignment or task, or something or other.
>Discord was pretty cool guy, helped you steal shit all the time.
>Hell you even took the drive shaft out of some steam car, fuck those singing brothers.
>Their just dirty con men, not like you, you make no attempt to trick ponies.
>Why? Because it was fun.
>He did invite you over for tea with the yellow stutterer a couple times, on the condition that you didn’t steal anything.
>You agreed, because why not it’s free fo-
>Come to papa, it sounds big, gonna be a feast tonight.
>You grip down on your beatin’ stick and prepare to drop out of the tree.
>It’s passing… right… now!
“Time to die fuck nuts!”
>As you drop you swing the stick, the deer below you looks up.
>Its mouth unhinges and widens so that it covers the forest floor with thousands of little needle like teeth.
>You hit the ground only to realize that the demon deer was in-fact just a portrait on the ground.
>”You really should relax more, they say this high blood pressure isn’t good for you Anon.”
>you try to look down, but you don't have a head either
>or anything
>you are the puddle
>except, not nearly as full as before
>put forth some effort to move, and notice some of the liquid is massing near the wall
>continue straining, when you see it's taking shape
>no longer a liquid, now a mass of writhing tendrils and other smaller limbs
>near the base, they begin straightening out
>combining into larger structures, grafting each other together
>skin begins to appear
>same with your other arm
>try the same thing with your head
>feel your eyes move upward, when suddenly
>you begin breathing again
>struggle to open your mouth, when it suddenly forms, you gasp, breathing heavily
>you feel you don't even need to breathe, it just feels right
>ears must have formed now, as you can make out noises of insects and distant creatures
>also notice that the moon is directly over you
>must be midnight
>oh, you've been gone for a while
>oh shit
>begin panicking slightly
>arms form more quickly, as you can see your fingers beginning to take shape
>push your new arms and hands into the wall, attempting to lift yourself out
>you end up lifting out developing shoulders and your still developing head
>your head feels almost done, but your shoulders are still just black masses
>lifting your pseudo human form out of the bottom of the pit, shoulders done, but now your torso is developing
>you'll also need legs
>the liquids begin to condense, forming two structures you presume are your legs
>torso almost done, legs beginning to form
>drag yourself entirely out of the pit, feeling like you've forgotten how to walk
"alright.. let's see.. what am I now?"
>legs mostly formed now, all that's left is your feet
>moments later, your fully skinned, and humanoid again
>feel your own body, but many things are still off
had to restart compy, forgot name
What the fuck is going on here
magic, anon
pure magic
>"Goddamn it, Fluttershy! Stop sneaking shrooms into my tea."
>First thing you notice is your skin
>Parts of it are incredibly rough, others baby smooth
>most of it in between, seems to still be adjusting itself
>you also can't feel any bones, but it's still solid below the skin
>what is wrong with your new body?
>it's kind of like...
>a lot like when you first arrived here, which you find is insanely funny
>legs are done
>time to haul ass
>get up on your new legs, and begin running
>you're running faster than ever before
>and you're not tiring out
>at all
>still sluggish, you run into a tree, landing hard a few feet away
>once you try to get up, you realize that you've lost something
>half of your body
>is all over the tree you ran into
>you are split vertically, missing most of your left half
>your left half, however, seems to have plans of it's own
>as it begins rapidly pulsating, expanding and contracting, when small tentacles and tendrils reach around and up the tree, all over it
>tentacles and tendrils thicken and expand around the tree, until it is completely enveloped in your other half
>the tree is then quickly crushed, the remains being quickly grabbed at and pulled into the mass
>leaves, roots, dirt and all, gone
>then your other half... gets up, using some small limbs being used as legs, scuttles over to you in a terrifying fashion
>arm and leg flailing, grabs on to you and quickly merges with you, your arm appearing on the other side, your leg twisting back into the right direction and place
>not enough time to wonder what happened just now, time to keep moving
>and you just noticed, you are extremely hungry
>get up, ignoring your ravenous hunger, an annoying familiar sensation
>manage to make it back to sweet apple acres, going just barely around the town
>move to knock on the door, when it flies out of the way when your hand touches it
>The portrait consolidates in front of you into the odd assembly of parts you call Disco.
“One of these days I’m actually gonna have a heart attack, but I’ll let it slide.”
>Discord pulls a chair out from behind his back and sits down as a table with a couple plates and glasses appear.
>You simply fall back into your own chair; you know how he operates at this point.
“So how goes it?”
>”Mostly just little errands that the royalty can’t be bothered with, but I apparently can.”
>It’s odd, the more you get to know him the more he talks normal like.
>A rather bulky minotaur butler comes sauntering out of the woods.
>”Afternoon, are we ready to order?”
>Once again this doesn’t faze you in the slightest
“I’ll take a seven and seven, with… a Philly cheese steak.”
>Discord hands his menu to the butler, like everything the menu was pointless, but part of the fun.
>”I do say that sounds rather enticing. I shall have the same.”
>The minotaur takes his menu before pulling out his eyes and dropping them in the glasses.
>They immediately turn into the specified beverage.
>”Your food shall be out in just a moment.”
>He turns and walks in a perfectly straight line a couple paces before he disappears into a flash of light.
>You take the drink, as always it’s perfectly chilled and mixed, you extend your arm raising the glass.
“Fuck the system.”
>Discords arm detaches and melds with the glass so it raises its self up on a single arm leg.
>”Fuck the system.”
so right now we have three completely different stories:
>Zero to Hero Gladiator anon
>crazy anon
>wtf magic anon
and this all came from the idea of a homeless anon
I love this place
I have the sudden urge to want to hang out with Discord.
I like crazy anon with his ripped jeans and his "fuck you" attitude.

>You are applejack
>anon didn't come back from his human anatomy thingy that twilight was hosting
>she better not have kidnapped him or..
"what in tarnation?"
>run around the corner, and see anon
>he looks different, not like before at all
>his face is deformed, and his eyes, one of which hanging by a few strands, are full of ravenous hunger
>"I'm back.. a-"
>a river of blood suddenly erupts from his mouth and nostrils
>shortly after, anon falls over backwards, on to the ground just outside the front door, blood still flowing steadily
>"What just happened?"
>applebloom's already up? no matter, she can help you get anon to the hospital
"I have no idea, applebloom, you just need to help me get anon to the hospital as fast as possible"
>"anon's hurt?"
"Yeah, he just now showed up like this"
>she helps you lift anon onto your back, as you begin to move him to the hospital


>you are anon, once again
>out of it, once more
>as soon as you tried to explain to applejack what happened, you felt all the blood left in your body get projectile vomited out of your mouth
>and you can hear voices
>none of them that comforting, godly voice
>"so, is he gonna be alright?"
>"well, we're going to have to wait for one of those professionals that was there during the human anatomy-"
>"I'M HERE! DON'T WORRY, ugh, just had to wake up in the middle of the night is all"
>that sounds like twilight
>"so, what's wrong with him?"
>"I have no idea, he just disappeared for a few hours, and when he came back he was like this"
>"Oh good, he's awake"
>as soon as you open your eyes, everyone notices
"Do I look that dead?"
>"Well... you don't have a pulse, or heartbeat, or anything that would match vital signs, according to the human anatomy session"
"What? that's impossible, my pulse is right here"
>Place your oddly shaped fingers on your jugular pulse
>check your wrists
>nothing there
"that's... not possible"
nah i'll just post this around byes
don't be mad
File: 563454365436.jpg (83 KB, 500x500) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
83 KB, 500x500
>You close your eyes and take a sip of the highball.
>Good stuff, for a being of pure chaos he sure knew how to mix some good old timey drinks.
>When you open your eyes the whole area had been transformed into a 50’s era diner.
>Disco was even wearing a pinstripe suit and matching fedora.
>Huh, apparently it can be worn right.
>He even changed your clothes and hair, now sporting a rolled up shirt and pompadour.
>Oh, there’s even a soft pack rolled up in the sleeve.
>Yet another flash of light signifies the appearance of a griffon in horn rimmed glasses.
>”I got two philly cheeses here.”
>Discord drops down the front of his newspaper to look over the top at the food, you take the soft pack out and tap it gently against the table.
>”Excuse me miss, but the menu said that these come with fries.
>You draw out a cigarette, and find a zippo in your pocket, it wasn’t about your desire to smoke.
>It was about completing the image.
>”Oh, I’m sorry sir I’ll be right out with those.”
>Disco puts his newspaper down and rubs his eyes.
>”Can you believe the service here?”
“I always wondered how they stayed in business.”
>The griffon comes back with the plates, now with fries.
>”I’m very sorry about that sir, enjoy.”
>You quickly pull the plate over and take a bite out of the greasy sandwich.
“Now I see why, this magnificent.”
>”Truly it is… Here this article might interest you.”
>He slides the newspaper across the table, you go to put down your cigarette.
>An ashtray immediately appears underneath it, using your now free hand you pick up the paper.

And some mood music:
>Next, you try your chest, you can always feel your heart
>... nothing, nothing at all
"no, no, this isn't right.."
>"You didn't lie to us, did you?"
"Why would I do that? and no, I didn't, I was... changed, in the forest"
>"In the everfree?"
"yeah, that one, something made me go in there, and now i'm like this"
>"what made you go in there?" AJ asks you
"Just a powerful impression, one that was so... comforting and oddly familiar"
>take a look over your body, notice that you lost your trenchcoat, boots, and the rest of the things you had with you at the time
>you where hauling ass through the forest like that completely nude?
>notice that your veins are also in the wrong spot
>and there is no usual blue line, instead black ones that coil around your arm, occasionally moving, and slithering under your skin
>your torso looks fine, aside from skin being there that doesn't look like it should
>some of your skin has an orange, yellow, or green pigment, others are slightly whiter or even pink, grey, or blue, and a bit of purple
>what the hell are you?
>"Well, we still need to open you up, it's just that we didn't know what was going on with your body, since the X-Rays didn't match up in the slightest, we weren't sure if making certain cuts would kill you or not"
"Just follow the diagram, trust me, I'm not wrong about my own body"
>"very well, call in the surgeon"
>The doctor walks up to you, and gives you an IV in one of your black veins that appears to be close enough to where your original blue one was
>another in a different vein in the opposite arm
>you can see the mixture inside the tubes begin to flow, into your arms
>the black veins seem to react in some way, wriggling more than previously, although the parts with the areas pierced stay still
>just noticed that the doctor, surgeon, nurse and twilight are all looking at you with confused expressions
"what's wrong?"
>"You should be asleep" the doctor answers
"...what? are you serious?"
is anon Alex Mercer now?
>"Absolutely, this is the proper medication and everything, you should not be conscious"
"Okay... I have to know what's going on in there, just do the surgery anyway, it doesn't matter if I'm conscious or not"
>"But... that would cause immense pain, and we wouldn't be able to properly help you"
"I never said anything about healing myself, just open me up and look in there"
>The surgeon and doctor exchange nervous glances, but eventually they decide to call in the other surgeons as they move you to the operating room

>Several minutes later
>The operation commences, and you don't feel a damn thing
>The surgeons are continually shocked, and they are lead by twilight with the diagram where to make the various cuts
>"Can you feel any of this?" one of them decides to ask you
"Not at all"
>Confusion is most of their reactions
>Some others are actually intrigued, including twilight
>others are just disgusted
>as they create larger cuts in your flesh, you can hear some gasps
"What's the matter?"
>"It's just that... your organs are there... but they have something on them, writhing pulsating tentacles"
"What? there are things on my organs?"
>"Do you mind if we collect some? Let's say, collect some of those tentacles" twilight suggests
"Fine, study them, put em in little vials, as long as you tell me what they are"
>Watch as they cut one off, and place it in a small glass vial
>The tentacle thrashes around inside of it, looking for a way out
>twilight takes it and holds it with her magic, then puts it in her bag
>"Can't wait to actually study it more"
>as she says this, the open cut you recently received begins to close, as the tentacles mass around the edges, and reach for each other, eventually covering the wound, similar to before when you first got this new body
>"Well, that's interesting"
"I didn't know that I could do that... and it's making me REALLY hungry"
>nice double dubs

things are getting quite interesting
*Revolutionary New Engine Anonymously Donated to the Canterlot Science Team*
>”Well that certainly wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.”
“That was my goddamn ticket out of here.”
>”Perhaps it wouldn’t have been too bad of an idea to make contract.”
>Take a bite, take a drag.
“Do I look like the type to make a contract?”
>Disco shrugs and starts putting copious amounts of ketchup on his fries.
>C’mon it’s fries, no one’s that crazy.
“I’m gonna go have a very angry one sided conversation with her.”
>Disco raises his hand and is about to snap, his way of moving everything back to normal.
“Later, I need to think about this.”
>”Forgive me for prying but I really don’t see what there is to wait for.”
“It’s mostly the fact that I might clock her, and the fact that I’m far too sober to talk to the likes of her right now.”
>He doesn’t say anything as there’s a few quiet moments of him eating and you staring at the plate.
>Your appetite seems to have disappeared.
>Sip, drag, and another sip.
>You slam your hands down onto the table.
“Okay, anon, It’s alright you still got all the other human shit you know.”
>You run a hand through your greasy pompadour and take a deep breath
>You are still intent on spending some catchup time with Disco.
“So what exactly was the crown throwing into this time?”
Sorry guys, I gotta go get ready for a family dinner... that's an hour away. Wooo.
>after some paperwork, you are legally released from the hospital
>applejack was kind enough to bring some more clothes for you
>"So, I've kept hearing you talking about how hungry you are"
"Yes, I am very hungry, I could eat ANYTHING right now"
>"Well, I'll take you to a restaurant, any in particular you want?"
"The one that get's the food made the quickest"
>you go to the equestrian equivalent of McDonalds
>"Hello, sir, what would you like?"
"One.. no, Two of everything"
>"Oookay...That'll be 80 bits"
>applejack tosses the money on the counter, and you take your seat
>"Wow, anon, you really don't exaggerate"
"No, I don't"
>your food is ready, takes you 5 trips to get all the trays on your tables
>immediately begin devouring everything
>literally everything in front of you
>including the paper that the burgers are wrapped in
>you never liked burgers
>or hayburgers
>but now everything is delicious, including the paper
>before you know it, all your food is gone
"That was it?"
>Applejack looks damn terrified, and she's only half way done with her first burger and few fries
"You gonna finish those?"
>point to her fries
>"...no.. I lost my apatite"
>eat her fries, and the little box holding them
>she eats her burger
>that wasn't nearly enough
>you're still starving
>this hunger is terrible
>you could eat a horse
>maybe you could eat... a pony
>Wait, what? what the hell are you thinking
>well... they got a lot of meat on em, they wouldn't be hard to over power, and then you'd just have to...
>Suddenly quickly stand
"If you don't mind, I have to go take a nice long walk, alone"
>"Sure, go ahead, see you later"
>run out the door, then into the forest
>you hate this old feeling of terrible hunger
>you just want to die
>oh, the forest is full of deadly predators, just need to find one, that isn't technically suicide...
>not gonna bother arguing with yourself over that, you're not dealing with a hunger you can't satisfy
>surprisingly, it's not long in your "walk" that you stumble across a familiar creature
>Grizzly bear
"You'll do"
>The bear notices you, turns around and tilts it's head
"C'mon you fuckin' fat brown piece of shit that I flushed down the toilet last night"
>apparently bears in this world have some understanding of english
>It doesn't look too happy, either
>whatever an angry bear looks like
>You'll find out soon enough
>The bear approaches you, growling
"C'mon, let's dance"
>It rears up on it's hind legs, and swipes at your head
>Ripping most of it in half, and knocking you down
>Didn't even hurt
>That's real fair, can't feel that pain, but hunger is still a killer
>It then bites down on what's left of your neck
>God dammit, it's eating while you're still hungry?
"My turn, fatass"
>Proceed to wrap your arms around it's head, and then tighten your grip
>Bear dies, just like that
>That was a bit anticlimactic
"Well, no sense in letting a good meal go to waste"
>Don't even know how you do it, but your arms revert back to their original liquid forms, and envelope the bear in seconds
>Root like structures penetrate it's fur and skin, spreading into it, through it's blood stream
>Drink up all of it's blood, and any liquids you find inside of it
>After that, you rip it's organs to shreds inside of it, making the smaller bits easier to absorb
>It's amazing, actually almost hit's the spot
>Eat what's left of it, which is mostly fur and the outer skin
"Hmm, I've been noticing that I can eat seemingly anything now... what if I.."
>Walk over to a nearby tree, about 3 feet in diameter, a big one
>Shove entire length of arm through it
>Envelope tree in similar liquids that seemingly defy gravity as they flow up the trunk, and around the branches
>Crush all of them like twigs
>Pull it all into yourself
>Damn, that was GREAT
>do the same thing to about 20 trees
>Wow, you're not even hungry anymore
>It's a wonderful feeling
Anon: from hobo to world eater in less than a week
Applejack: still a background pony after four years/seasons
Are there pastebins for weird ass magic anon and gladiator anon, or am I just retarded?
No paste in for gladiator anon yet
World eating anon on the other hand I'm not so sure about
This thread proves anon is lazy. He should be finding a way back home, not fucking around in shelters.
You think the diamond dogs would take a human in?

I could imagine a human becoming their king. All he'd have to have is a supply of Milk Bone treats and a rolled-up newspaper to keep them in line.
File: DA BURRRRR.gif (176 KB, 153x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
176 KB, 153x250
God damnit this is fucking awesome!
Loving that story!
I demand more!
These three stories are so grrreat
Best thread in a while 10/10
So everytime you leave the house you carry a backpack with knives and other survival equipment?

File: cfgv.gif (146 KB, 267x199) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
146 KB, 267x199
Ban test123
You don't?
I carry a pocket knife and keep a survial kit in my jacket (flint, matches etc). Plus I went to several survival training courses
What survival training course?
Bump for writefags
le epic bump XDDDDDD
bemp. Favourite thread in a few days for me.
"No one dashie dine on stavros!"
>Aside from learning that the two stroke was donated it was pretty good day.
>Lunch, more thieving, a quick stop for tea at the yello- Fluttershy’s place, and finally a game of golf before the sun went down.
>It’s Discos turn, he steadies himself then walks away and lets the club swing on it’s own as he leans against a tree.
>The ball just turns into a bird and flies right into the hole, which he moved.
>”I suppose you have a lot of catching up to do with my perfect game so far.”
“oh ha ha. Now watch as I beat you the old fashioned way.”
>You’ve actually never played golf, this was a terrible idea.
>You manage to take a rather large patch of earth out of the ground.
>Another chunk of dirt.
“Son of Bitch!”
>You tear off your hat and throw it down, stupid golf hat.
>With a fair amount of anger you pick up the ball and throw it.
>It lands about 30 feet away and rolls back down the hill to you.
“This isn’t fun, who invented this shit sport.”
>You swing the golf club into a tree, causing the nine iron to bend.
>”My, my Anon, that is not how you use a club at all.
>You drop the club as a flash of light envelops everything and all the golf accessories disappear.
“Well, I guess there’s no putting off the inevitable.”
>”You mean you losing?”
>He snickers.
“No you tosser, it’s been fun, but I really should go talk to Twigs now.”
>There’s a bright flash as he teleports the both of you in front of the castle.
>”Now this, I want to see.”
Bump for favorite thread
>The suns beginning to set, most of the ponies are running about in an effort to get home.
>They give both you and Disco a wide berth, mostly out of fear of being pickpocketed.
>In a few of the open windows you can see lots of movement.
>Must be a gathering of sorts, aren’t they a little old for sleep overs?
>The castle staff won’t even let you in the front doors, you’ve tried.
>As such you pick up a good fist sized rock and prepare to throw it at the nearest window.
>You are thrown off balance as the rock suddenly changes in size and weight.
>Looking back the rock is now a firework, maybe a foot long.
>Discord gives you a thumbs up from the bushes, he obviously wanted to play the ‘silent observer’ part.
“C’mon man, you can do better.”
>Bright flash, the firework is now a veritable rocket.
>You shove the launching stick into the ground and aim it at the same window.
“Lighter please.”
>”I’ll do you one better.”
>A flash of light right in front of your face.
>Now held between your teeth is a rather large stick of cordite, the end already sparking and burning.
>You light the fuse and stand a little to the side to avoid the blast.
>It launches with a short wail before impacting the window and detonating inside.
>”Lands Sakes!”
>”What in the hoof was that!”
>”Oh… oh dear.”
“I don’t think I got their attention, or at least as much as I’d like.”
>Flash of light in the dark, you are now holding a molotov cocktail.
“I said get their attention not burn the castle down, c’mon head it the game man!”
Lmao Twily is not being a very good friend here... But meh, Castle Playset has it coming.

Treebrary for life!
>Several windows open, various ponies poke their heads out.
>Rainbow is the first one to speak up.
>”If it isn’t the chimp, what did you get tired of… uh…”
“Your mouths running but your mind ain’t”
>”I swore I had something for this.”
“Sure, sure. I’ll believe that when I see it you ch-“
>Twilight cuts you off, her pupils are very constricted.
>Oh ho, you really kicked the hornets nest this time.
>”Anon, what do you want, and why shouldn’t I charge you with property destruction.”
“One because I know you already are going to press charges, and two what the fuck Twigs?!”
>This time it’s AJ’s turn.
>”Twilight, what’s he talkin’ about”
“I gave you the designs to the two stroke, hell I got several others up here.”
>You tap your head.
>Twilight seems rather surprised by this.
>”You think I donated it for fame or money, what about ‘anonymously donated’ do you not understand.”
“That’s not the point, I wanted money from it.”
>”Well you should have said something earlier.”
“I didn’t think I had too, I really could give less of a shit about helping out your archaic society.”
>”It’s over Anon, maybe your next time you’ll think ahead.”
“Yeah well… I…”
>Fluttershy peers a little harder into the bushes.
>”Dis… Discord?”

Gotta run, will be back.
Also, Anon and Twilight aren't friends. Spiteful co-workers more like.
Build the Nuke Anon...It's the only way to show them the Human's Might.
Anon, learn friendship from Discord an Fluttershy, do it.
Explain them what you are able to do if they dont do as you say
Able to do= nuke canterlot
Or better...
>There’s a flash behind you as he teleports out of the area.
“Goddammit! Discord you pussy whipped bastard!”
>You see Twilight’s horn glow for a second before discord appears behind her, right, she could do that.
“That’s it, I’m gonna design a rotary and then sell it to the griffons, how do you like them apples!”
>Twilight, AJ, and Rarity all give you quizzical looks, the rest were currently angrily talking to Disco.
“And I’m commandeering your mailbox.”
>You one arm hug the rather simple sheet metal thing and begin to pull up on it.
>”That’s it, Dash go wake the guards.”
>The mailbox comes out of the ground, you heft it onto your shoulder.
>”Sir drop the weapon and come quietly.”
>Whirl around, there’s about four guard ponies.
>Two earth, one unicorn, and one Pegasus.
>You can escape this as long as the unicorn isn’t that great at magic.
“Sure, sure.”
>You gently set the mailbox down, upon doing so the guards relax.
>To their detriment, your hand darts over to the still burning stick of cordite and light the Molotov.
>They take a few steps back as you throw it on the ground between you and them.
“Yeah run through fire, well, so long fuckfa-“
>Your surroundings immediately change to that of a dim cell with iron bars.
>There’s a sensation of nausea and vertigo that accompany all teleportations.
“Well… Fuck.”

I have the rest planned out already.
>It only took a couple hours after Twilight teleported you to cell for the guard to take you to Canterlot for a very public trial.
>A very one sided trial.
>Apparently you are the single biggest non-magical felon in all of Equestria.
>It’s like there’s no crime here.
>Individually most of your crimes would amount to fines or short stays in local guard prisons.
>But considering you stole an average of three things every day, and you got arson, disturbing the peace, and resisting arrest added to the list.
>… Yeah you’re gonna be here a while… life to be exact.
>Which sucks because this place is boring as shit, and they don’t give you nearly enough food.
>You’re reading the latest Daring Do book and lying in the bed the state was gracious enough to provide you with.
>There’s a metallic rattle as a couple of prison guards run their nightsticks against the bars.
>”You have a visitor, up and at em’”
>With a flourish you set the bookmark back in place and point to your cell mate, a rather small Pegasus with clipped wings.
>Honestly you found the clipped wings rather sad, but all prisoners had to go through it.
“Don’t touch my book.”
>The guards lead you down the aisle of cells, not a single one of them insults you anymore.
>They did for the first week, but then things started to go missing.
>So in the interest of keeping their meager belongings they stopped.
>The guards push you into a sound proofed room meant for prisoner to lawyer conversations.
>You recognize the grey/brown unicorn who was your public defender, his whole job was a sham.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
>The guards close the door and the lock sets in place with a thud.
>The unicorn blinks revealing yellow and red eyes.
How could a 3 foot tall horses possibly hurt a 6-7 foot tall human?
discord is now your lawyer
you are going to win by default
speaking of win by default... I'll get back to writing my story
>Disco opens his mouth and the disguise is sucked in revealing his true self.
>”My my, the packaging said that these edible costumes were orange flavored.”
>He pulls the box out from behind his back and points to the small portrait of himself.
“You might have to write a letter complaining about false advertising.”
>”You know what I think I will… But enough of that unpleasantness, you seem to be in a pickle.”
>there’s a flash of light as he dresses you in a pickle costume and turns the room into a vaguely English pub.
>You reach up and take a chunk out of the suit and begin munching down on it.
“Yeah, but it ain’t all bad, I’ll find a way out, you’ll see.”
>”May I perhaps offer some useful advice?”
>You reach your hand out, as you do so a pint of lager appears.
“You may.”
>You take a sip as he speaks.
>”It is to my understanding that you mortals require some amounts of iron to live.”
“You are not wrong.”
>Discord takes a chunk out of the pickle costume and throws it at the dartboard, in air the pickles turn to darts and all land in the treble ring.
>”If you feel that the staffs here are not meeting your dietary requirements perhaps consider eating some metal.”
>It’s a hint, not meant to be taken literally, you take a sip and think about all the metal things in your cell.
>You push those aside, you have an actual question.
“How’s Ponyville been without me?”
>”Unbearably dull friend, they all seem so content to live out their lives the same way until they die.”
>There’s a couple moments of silence, a couple more sips as discord turns the coasters to life and has them get married.
>He looks up and returns the coasters back to their lifeless state.
“Why are you helping me? I mean, thank you, seriously, but… why?”
Kratos anon story when?
>The everfree wasn't so bad
>All the beasts there were not so dangerous as the ponies all said
>At least not to you
>And their diseases never affected you for some reason
>Hunting was pretty easy, and since you didn't get sick, you could drink the water without boiling it
>It was an easy life
>Except for the ponies
>You couldn't undestand a word they said, and you assumed the same for them
>As far as you could tell, they thought you a rabid animal, and while your flint-and-stick spear was deadly against a manticore, the same didn't go for guard armor
>But while they didn't let you in town
>The everfree was your domain
>After two years, you knew the woods like the back of your hand
>And the abandoned castle, while drafty, was an excellent shelter
>Especially with all the fortifications you'd made
>Snares and tripwires galore
>With logs stacked up against the collapsed parts of the walls and held together with vines
>A few pitfalls in the higher levels where the floor collapsed
>Fuck, you'd even dug a moat
>And to top it all off, wooden pikes
>Just everywhere
>So, why in god's name did you have six of those damned horses stomping around, looking for something?
Anyone interested?
Yeah m8, keep going.
>”Is this not