The last video game character you played as has to defend Equestria from the last movie villain you watched while your favorite pony is masturbating with the object directly to your left while chugging a bottle of the last thing you drank while your least favorite pony is getting anally raped by the last band you listened to at a rate of x thrusts per second where x equals the last number of your post.
And only the object directly to your right can help you solve this problem.
The lone wanderer must save equestria from Malekith while Twilight masturbates with a box of Cheez-its and Rarity is being ass raped by Freddy Mercury from Queen, the only thing that can stop this is my left shoe
A random Russian rifleman from stalingrad is trying to stop Godzilla while Applejack jams an empty rootbeer can up her cooter while drinking another rootbeer and Rarity is getting raped by Ghost Mice. My only tool to deal with this is my cellphone.
I cold call the police I guess? I don't know how much help they'll be. Godzilla is probably just going to kill everyone. It'll be like that tarrasque in Equestria thread where the only solution was to teach Twilight how to cast Wish(this does not count as saving the day).
>Last VG character
Michael Ford, from Conduit
>Last movie villain
Bane, from the Dark Knight Rises
>Waifu, object and drink
Chryssi, my dog, and water
>Least favorite pony and last band
Flash and Bethlehem
>The Scout has to defend Equestria from Master Pain aka: Betty while Ditzy Doo is masturbating with a McDonald's figure of Twilight while chugging a bottle of water while Diamond Tiara is getting anally raped by John Fogerty. And only a router can help me solve this problem.
Tom Brady has to save Equestria from Jack Torrance while Princess Celestia masturbates with a can of pepsi..w-while chugging another can of pepsi and Spike is getting anally raped by Brad Nowell of Sublime..
And with my trusty cable remote, I too will join the battle to save Equestria
Nero has to defend Equestria from Darth Vader while Lyra is masturbating with a hammer while chugging a bottle of water, while Rarity is being anally raped by Woodkid, the object to my left is my wall.
so Sophie has to defend Equestria from Prince Charming (Shrek 2) while Apple Bloom is masturbating with my Pinkie plush while chugging Monster. Fluttershy is getting anally raped by Sum 41. Why would I want to solve this, sounds good to me
Ryu Hayabusa has to save Equestria from Kyurem while Pinkie Pie masturbates with my winter hat and Applejack is being ass raped by Frederic Chopin, and the only thing that can stop this is a detailed map of Southern Brazil with a few bits of surrounding countries, such as Paraguai and Uruguai.
>Reaper from ace combat infinity is protecting equestria from the joker while nurse redheart is masturbating using my asp and rainbow dash is being raped by ninja sex party. The only thing I have to fix this is my ecig
This is the strangest wank ever
So, Michael Ford has to defend Equestria from Bane while Queen Chrysalis fucks my dog while drinking a glass of water while Flash is gangbanged by Bethlehem and my only solution is a chair with a sheet of paper on it, an empty glue bottle, and an empty glass.
The chosen undead has to stop Jack Lupino while Rarity is masturbating with a hairbrush and chugging a bottle of cherry Pepsi while Spike is raped by Nirvana.
My guitar can solve this problem, just as it can solve every other problem.
>A custom-created Green Lantern has to defend Equestria from Artemisia while Luna masturbates furiously with a phone, chugging water while Twist is gets anally raped by The Go! Team
Doom guy has to defend Equestria from The Thing while Luna is masturbating an electric screw driver while chugging a bottle of pale ale while Rainbow Dash is getting anally raped Gwar at a rate of x thrusts per second where x equals the last number of your post.
And only a bottle of pale ale can help me solve this problem. I don't see a problem here
Brendan from Soul Silve has to defend Equestria from the Mimics from Edge of tomorrow while Fluttershy is masturbating with my printer while chugging a bottle of milk while your least Rarity is getting anally raped by Daft Punk.
>Spikey-poo, tell me how it feels to have your backdoor pounded by one of music's most influential artists?
>AHH! AHHH! AAAAANYTHING F-FOR YOU RARITAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
I think you win this one.
>...at a rate of zero fucking thrusts per second, and the only thing that can stop all this is a ballpoint pen
Let it not go without saying, the pen is mightier than the sword, and this looks like a CYOA I'd write while drunk.
Wigfreid must defend Equestria from space (saw Gravity) while Rarity fucks herself with a phone charger while drinking water while Eppulz gets buttfucked by Train at a rate of that amount of thrusts per second.
> the warden of superjail has to defend EQ from some corrupt mayor while fluttershy faps with my laptop while chugging half and half while rarity is raped by die antwoord and all I have is a chair
An alien from spore has to save equestria from sunset shimmer(I regret this decision) while nightmare moon masterbates with a toilet paper roll while drinking a glass of water, and celestia is getting raped by skillet. The only object that I can use to save everyone is a plastic shower curtain.
I think I got this.
Titanfall pilot must defend equestria from jack nicholson (shining) while vinyl masturbates herself with my reverse edge katana while drinking a 12 pack of redbull while cheese sandwich is being analy raped by the offspring. And my lyra plush (the one with the vagina) is the only thing that can save the day
Character: Sam B. from dead island
Movie villian: The joker
Pony:pinkie pie masturbating with a fan
Drank: sweet tea
Band: Red hot chili peppers
Object: Coca cola bottle
alright faggots lets do this il go ahead and set my name.
So Artyom has to defend equestria from the Persian empire while Octavia masturbates with a door as she is chugging down vodka, and Rarity is getting anally raped by System of a down
Alice madness returns.
Extremely fitting for many obvious reasons.
Meepo (all five of him) have to defend Equestria from... The Judge from Caddyshack.
Celestia masturbates with my Blue Microphone while chugging Coca-Cola. Poor Fluttershy is getting raped by Talking Heads.
Jacket (from Hotline Miami) has to defend Equestria from DEA agent Stansfield while Pinkie Pie is masturbating with my cell phone and chugging water (thirsty work, I guess). Meanwhile, Twist is getting anally raped by Reel Big Fish.
Onyl my mighty headphones can help me solve this...problem? What problem? Two lunatics trying to brutally murder each other, blitzed out of their minds on coke, to the sound of violent fucking and ska punk: what's not to like?
Jason Brody must save Equestria from Beezlbub(Tenacious D version), while applejack uses my room mate's iPad charger to plug her USB port. She's chugging a bottle of lime freezerpop juice, while Celestia is getting tag teamed by Jack Black and KG. Only a can of Monster energy drink can help.
The TF2 Medic must defend Equestria from the Star Wars Emperor while Celestia masturbates with my wall mounted lamp and chugging orange squash and Sunset Shimmer is getting anally raped by Steam Powered Giraffe at x thrusts a second.
Only my small glass shelf I put my glasses on at night can help me solve this.
Let's go back one step on every single one.
The Dragon's Dogma Arisen has to defend Equestria from the Godzilla parasite kaiju while AJ masturbates with a phone charger and chugging milk. Photo Finish on the other hand is being anal raped by Sim Gretina at x thrusts a minute.
Only my wardrobe may assist me.
Axton has to save equestria from the fairy godmother from shrek 2 while diamond tiara is masturbating with my headphones while chugging a strawberry protein drink. I have nothing to help me and snips is being raped by foo fighters at how many thrusts per second?
Stanley must defend Equestria from Judge Doom while Trixie masturbates with a blue marker while chugging a bottle of water and Twist is getting ass ravaged by Dio, and the only thing that can help is my computer mouse. Well fuck.
It is up to Professor Layton to defend Equestria form Yzma and her dangerous poisons. Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle is masturbating with a 3DS
and chugging down a bottle of water. Rainbow Dash on the other hand is getting anally ganged banged by the 2d moe girls from ?'s.
The only thing that can help me is a reprint collection of the first 4 issues of the Sonic miniseries.
"Steve" from minecraft must defend Equestria from Godzilla while Applejack masturbates with a wooden hairbrush and chugs a bottle of water and Rarity is raped by Billy Joel.
The only thing that can save this situation is a 32gb flash drive... Which I'm guessing is the modern equivalent of a 90's world-changing floppy disk.
Pic related must defend Equestria from Senator Corvus while Luna masturbates with my iPhone and chugs Mountain Dew. meanwhile, Rarity is getting anally raped by Sting.
Only a hairbrush can help solve this.
>Sam awakens from the night before vaguely remembering the alcohol induced blackout
>wait something's off
>this isn't his room
>this isnt even on the island
>he looks to his left and right to see books lining the inside of the circular room
"what the fuck happened?"
>He looks in his pockets a bit for god knows what
>its a small glass bottle that has coca cola written across it but the tint of the drink didnt match coke
>he takes a hard gulp puts the make shift lid back on and puts it back into his pocket
>back to finding out where the hell he is
>he surveys his surroundings a bit more closely slightly intoxicated realizing its some kind of library
>he grumbles something to himself and crouchs out of the small door
"what the fuck..."
>Sam looks around at the small colorful village laid out before him
>he decided it would be best to look for some people to help him figure out where he is
>as he walks further into the town he notices something a colorful blur
>he follows it into a building
"who the hell are you!?!?"
>A light blue pony with colorful hair turns around to look at him
>Sam is completely mind fucked about what hes seeing
"H-hi Im rainbow dash, what and who are YOU"
"Who the fuck else, Im Sam B. bitch can you not read my jacket"
>the blue pony looks at him oddly
"Okay...... look i need your help my friends are in trouble."
"Bitch I need your help before i do anything, I aint fuckin know where i am!"
>the cyan pony looks at him strangely again
>Pretty sure they dont know what curse words are
"Twilight will be able to tell you but first WE need your help!"
"Ight then, where they at?"
>Her wings spread and she began to take flight
>Sam gave her a confused look
"do all yall' have wings? mo' fuckas be flyin' and shit."
>rainbow dash flys towards the door while saying
"Only the awesome ones!"
>The two make their way out of the small village and into the forest
Hit the limit going on below
>Sam is becoming increasingly intoxicated as they go forward into the woods
"gotta love this shit, you want some bitch?"
>Rainbow dash turns around to look at him
"what is it?"
>she looks at him funny
"Looks like cider to me."
"you want it or not?"
>she looks at it and agrees
>rainbow dash cautiously grabbed the bottle with her mouth and tilted upwards drinking he bottle down to 1/4 full
>her eyes grow wide and full of tears as she spit has the terrible taste of whiskey filling her mouth
>sam grabs the bottle with a smirk and drinsk the rest of it shoving the bottle into his pocket
"How you like it?"
"That was the worst! how do you drink that stuff!"
>sam looks at her becoming more and more tipsy
"because it keeps me going."
>the two continue into the forest while the effects of alcohol flood rainbow dash
>they finally arrive at a cave mouth
"Here w-we are!"
"so what the fuck i gotta do."
>the drunk pony looks at him sobering up quickly from the dreadfulness of the situation
"I-I need you to save my friends from that thing with the green hair"
"I know how to stomp a Mo fucka' lets do this!"
>sam charges into the cave with a quickly sobering pony behind him
>after she guides him they finally come upon a room with a crater in the bottom and a bright blue light emitting from it
"My friends are in there, are you ready?"
"fuck yeah I am!"
>he runs and dives into the pit with a cautious pony following behind him
>Sam wakes up again with rainbow dash unconscious beside him
>he starts to get up stumbling a bit
>He looks into his pocket
"damn no whiskey left."
"how the fuck that sober me up?"
>sam shrugs it off as him being unconscious and looks around the room
>it was the inside of a cell
>rainbow dash starts to shuffle around in the corner
"how the fuck am i supposed to know?"
>the pony doesnt seem to acknowledge his response
>she looks around the cell a bit seeing a toilet, a sink and mirror, a bed, and finally a cell door
Dallas from payday 2 has to defend equestria against Victor Maitland (The villain from Beverly Hills Cop) while Rainbow dash masturbates with a quart sized cup and chugs a bottle of water. Incidentally diamond tiara is getting brutally gangraped by sting and the police.
Only the keif caked grinder next to me can serves as the ultimate solution to this problem, as I'm just going to leave and get really high
So The Dovahkin has to defend equestria from Smaug while Luna is masturbating with a plushie of spike while chugging a bottle of Icy Tea, btw it seems that Celestia is getting anally raped by Billy Joel, I'm solving this by using a wall...it seems like everyone can deal with this themselves
>Gordon Freeman has to defend Equestria from Darth Vader. Meanwhile, Ponks gets off with my 3DS whilst chugging a bottle of water, and Diamond Tiara is getting buttsecksed by the Stray Cats. I can only fix this problem with my fishing license.
Anybody want a story of this?
The Dovahkiin must fight that shaman dude from el dorado, while applejack is masturbating with my water bottle and chugging strawberry-kiwi koolaid. Flim (or Flam) is getting anally raped by skillet.
The object to my right is a mostly empty plate of spaghetti.
"Sam try and open the door, because you know no hands."
>sam looks at her grumbles a bit and walks over the cell door and to his and her surprise its unlocked
"what dumb ass locks two mo fucka's up and doesn't lock the fuckin' door?"
"I dont know lets just get out of here and find my friends!"
>the pony seemed to be in a rush as reality is rushing back to her
>she starts mumbling to herself
"twilight can get us back."
>the two walk out of a cell and see that there is something attached to the door of it
>sam grabs rainbow dash and starts running to the other side of the room
>he looks around the dimly lit room and in a hurry runs to the nearest exit which happens to be a latter
>he sits the pony down in a rush and starts running to the latter while saying
"FLY THROUGH THE HATCH!"
>rainbow dash reaches a high enough speed to break through and swing it open at the cost of a bruise while sam hurries to catch up
>after a hard climb he reaches the roof to meet the pony
"I beat you and you had a head start!"
"shut yo ass up."
>the two sit there while sam pants
"was that thing not even gonna-"
>sam was interrupted by a loud laugh through a small speaker and followed by a booming explosion
>the two begin to look around the roof top searching for a way down
"Hey sam i could just fly us down ya know."
"bullshit you cant carry a 200 pound man"
>after some convincing he climbs atop her back and the two begin to fly over the rooftops when one of them catches rainbow dash's eye
>A bright blue light is emiting from it
"wanna go through?"
"why not maybe il get home."
>The two go through the latch on the ceiling and down into the blue abyss
>sam wakes up in bed
"damn crazy ass dream.."
>he feels some shuffling to his left
>looks like he got lucky last night
>rainbow dash emerges from under the covers
Il continue this later tonight or tomorow, if the thread is dead il start one for the story.
Monster Hunter Tri Hero must defend Equestria from Kira while Luna is masturbating with a hand-drawn portrait of a Japanese man playing a flute while chugging Baja Blast while Diamond Tiara is getting anally raped by Godspeed! You Black Emperor at a rate of [see post #]
My my that is one hell of a roll thread.
Well, here goes.
Mario has to defend Equestria from Ratchet and Gasket from Robots while I watched Twilight masturbate to a pack of strawberry gum while I am chugging a bottle of orange juice while Trixie is being anally raped by M83 at a rate of (last number of my post) thrusts per seconds, and the only way i can solve this problem is to use a stuffed snake I got when I was 12.
Kratos has to save Equestria from Smaug, while Rarity is masturbating with a Duck Dynasty cup
of Dr. K, while chugging Dr. K, while Fluttershy is being anally raped by
Avenged Sevenfold, the only thing that can stop this is a pillow.
Dio Brando has to save equestria from Smaug.
While Twilight is masturbating with m tv remote and chugging milk like a champ.
While Twist is anally raped by King Crimson.
Only my magic the gathering collection can stop this madness.
>Playing as the Patriots
>Playing Madden at all
My GTA Online character protecting Equestria from the villain from the Carrie remake, while Fluttershy masturbates with my shoe while chugging a bottle of chocolate milk while Rainbow Dash gets anally raped by Yung Lean at X thrusts per second. My keyboard and mouse is the only thing that can solve this
The Soldier has to defend Equestria from Ozymandias while Octavia is masturbating with a high tom while chugging a bottle of water while Rarity is getting anally raped by Yes. The only object I may use to save everyone is a computer mouse.
I can make a terrible story out of this.
>RED Team stands before a large screen, minus Soldier.
“Alright, gentlemen. Let’s assess ze situation.”
>Medic clicks a button on the side of the screen.
>The screen flashes on.
>RED Soldier stands in the middle of a market square with a grim expression.
“Vell, here is ze big hero, Soldier, ve sent down vastly underequipped.”
>He has a shotgun in both hands, finger on the trigger.
>He is constantly looking around and occasionally shouting and pointing at random ponies.
>Some of them are staring at him, but most of them just shrug it off.
“Zhey’re unavare of ze fate about to befall zem...”
>He looks up into the blue sky, and, along with a few other ponies, suddenly spots a few bright objects falling towards him rather quickly.
>He points his shotgun up at the sky, starts firing, and screams as a welcoming wall of white fire engulfs him.
“He is gone… Ponyville is gone… and now ze Camera is gone. Vell, zat turned out nicely.”
“Dust in that good ol’ 5200°C wind.”
“Ach. Time for plan B, I guess. Next.”
>The screen switches to an image of a blonde-haired man sitting in a leather chair.
>He wears a domino mask and a long green cape.
“Here ve see our opponent, who is ze strongest and smartest man in ze world (at least in ze eighties), ’Ozymandias’, as he prefers.”
>He turns to the camera, flips the bird, and then turns back to the screens before him.
>Every one of them shows an image of a bright explosion
>Tricking America, Russia, and China into firing most of their nukes towards Equestria was very satisfying, even if it served as nothing else than a good mental exercise for a novice sociopath.
>And now Ozymandias gets to reward himself for his hard work with chicken tikka masala.
“Consarnit. Ah knew we should’ve installed guns on these spy cameras.”
>A white-coated unicorn with curly purple hair appears, tongue lolling out.
>Spy spits out his jarate.
>Sniper spits out his Mad Milk.
>Scout spits out his Bonk!
>A group of twenty or so seventy-year old men are shoving both penises and an amazing amount of instruments into her gigantic bleeding ponut.
>They’re actually playing the instruments and doing it pretty damn well, considering everything’s been shoved inside Rarity’s ass.
>There are too many instruments to count.
>Some of these don’t look like they’re even real instruments.
>How the hell is she not dead yet?
“...Rarity, being anally violated by… Yes, I believe. Interesting. I never zhought Jon Anderson vould fall as low as Chris Squire, but I suppose smoking zat much grass vill do it for you one day. Next…”
“Ach. I zhink ze cameras are broken from ze nukes. Anyvay, ze only veapon ve have left in ze lockers is zis computer mouse, right here, vhich Engineer has modified slightly.”
>Medic holds up a black mouse with spikes in it connected to a usb cable.
“Make of zat vhat you vill.”
Gordon Freeman stared at the being before him. It was clad in armor from head to toe, and sported an equally dark cape which blew in the howling wind. It turned its head about, blankly observing all of the destruction surround them. The bombed-out buildings, the ruined streets, they had once been a thriving metropolis, full of happy people. Now it was only a husk of what it once was.
“You’re too late, Gordon,” The being shouted betwixt labored breaths. “After you vanished in the Everfree Forest, I took advantage of your absence, and conquered the once mighty city of Canterlot. Soon you and the rest of your rebellion shall be crushed by the power of our army, and all Equestria shall bow to me. Still, I, General Grievous, am not completely without mercy, for I shall give you a death deserving of your courage.”
As the Cyborg General ignited his many lightsabers, their blades shining amidst the carnage surrounding them, Gordon brandished his own weapon, a crowbar, and charged into battle.
Wei Shen from Sleeping Dogs is defending Equestria from Sunset Shimmer, while Octavia is masturbating with a Turtle Beach headset while chugging a bottle of water. Meanwhile, Fluttershy is being anally raped by Steam-Powered Giraffe at a rate of [insert post number here] per second.
The only thing that can stop this madness? A cardboard box filled with Magic: The Gathering cards.
>Pit and Palutena have to defend Equestria from the M.U.T.O.'s from Godzilla while AppleJack is masturbating with a pillow while drinking sweet tea while Rainbow Dash is getting anally raped by Five finger death punch.
>A metal Baseball is my problem solver.
Nigga I got this
shit forgot Octavia
>The static on the screen changes to a grey-coated earth pony with a long, silky black mane and violet irises.
“Looks like it’s vorking again… not zat it massers much. Vat is zis, anyvay—em...”
>She is desperately rubbing herself against a tom drum while chugging from a water bottle.
>Demoman spits out his whiskey.
“And here ve see... Octavia’s attempts to get off using a drum before she is annihilated... vhile drinking out of a bottle of vater.”
"Why does she not just use cello?"
“You disgust me.”
>A scream is heard as the screen goes blank
“Ooh, Poppy, that feels so good…”
“First of all, Pinkie,” I said, “stop calling me Poppy, and second of all, put my 3DS away; it’s almost out of battery!”
Pinkie slowly slid my beloved game console out of her cooch, before tossing it back to me. It was now covered in questionable juices, and smelled like lollipops. Grimacing, I stuffed it into my pocket, making a mental note to charge it as soon as I got home.
“Alright,” I said, “what were we doing again?”
“We were checking the building for survivors, Natey.”
“On second thought, Poppy is fine.”
As we continued walking, we came across a door. I hugged the door with my ear, listening for anybody inside.
“Stop this right- eek! My daddy- ah, will not approve of this- oh, that actually feels pretty good!”
I peered through the keyhole, and discovered a rather odd sight. Diamond Tiara, one of the girls who attended Ponyville Elementary, was currently having an adventure with the Stray Cats.
“What do you see, Poppy?”
“Absolutely nothing.” Let’s move along.
My FFXIV character has to defend Equestria from an ED-209 while Applejack masturbates using the large cooking spoon I just used to make fudge(still has fudge cooling on it). Flash Sentry is off in a corner being cornholed brutally by Marylin Manson. To my right is my silly putty, which I knead to chill out and let the problem solve itself as I stroke my chin and watch AJ give herself the chocolate.
Comander Shepard must defend Equestria from Prince Hanz of the Southern Isles. Rarity can't help but pleasure herself with a pillow while chugging down some sunny-D. Meanwhile, Scootaloo is getting anally raped by GloryHammer.
The object to my right is my desk. Don't know how I'll help Comander Shepard with that.
Aiden Pearce has to defend Equestria from Kruger while Fluttershy is masturbating with a plate while chugging a bottle of Coca-Cola while Rarity is getting anally raped by Hawk Nelson at a rate of [insert number at end of post here]
Colonel Frederic 'Maquis' Le Roux (Random XCOM Psychic Assault class) has to defend Equestria from Biff from Back to the Future while Apple Bloom masturbates with my Bangladeshi co-worker while chugging a glass of water while Rarity gets anally raped by David Bowie.
To solve the proble I have my pair of Rayban Wayferer sunglasses. Based.
Logan KEllar from Rainbow 6 vegas must defend equestri from Drago Bloodfist while Luna is masturbates with a empty glass while chugging a bottle of V8 Splash Mango peach while Rarity gets anal raped by metallica
only my printer can heelp
Captain Martin Walker and Delta Force must defend Equestria from Initech,
Meanwhile Pinkie Pie begins using a bong as a dildo while Lil Wayne rapes Diamond Tiara
and the only thing that stop this madness is
a bigger bong
>Boss from SR3 fighting Drogo from HTTYD while Octavia pounds a monster while masturbating with a cell phone charger as pinkie is being plowed by Blackmoor's night at 9dicks per second
My mannequin is supposed to solve this
The last video game I played was a version of Sim Brothel x1 with a shitton of homemade characters including about thirty ponies I built. The last movie I watched was a hilarious documentary about pedophilia.
So Rarity has to save Equestria from an army of pedophiles while masturbating with my cat and chugging water (that god I have not sipped my scotch yet or Equestria would be fucked). Meanwhile, Princess Luna is being raped by Ritchie Blackmore and Jimmy Bain--the last surviving members of the "Rising" line-up of Rainbow (lucky bitch gets to be immortalized in the music), and my computer holds the key to solving the problem. My plan of action is to steal all the CP from the internet in order to distract the pedophiles while Rarity uses her cat-masturbating skills to sell out a concert hall to get the two legendary musicians a gig to play in.
Grimlock is defending Equestria from Fast and the Furious's Owen Shaw while Vinyl Scratch is masturbating with a water bottle, chugging water from a water bottle. Granny Smith is being raped by Two Steps from Hell. It can only be stopped by a wall. Interesting
The New Kid from The Stick of Truth has to defend Equestria from the Terminator while Twilight masturbates with a spider (FUCK THERE WAS SPIDER RIGHT NEXT TO ME) while chugging a bottle of water while Cadence is getting anally raped by Michael Jackson. I have an electric fan. Not sure how that helps.
Helena Harper defends equestria from lord farquaad while sweetie belle furiously masturbates with a bowl of froot-loops while chugging a bottle of koolaid while
voz de mandoanally rape twist at the rate of 18410767 trusts per second
TF2 Medic has to defend Equestria from the zombies in world war Z, while Celestia is masturbating with a fluttershy plushie, chugging copius amounts of milk, and as such Diamond Tiara is getting brutally shagged at 9 thrusts per second by Trombone Shorty.
A Parasite that destroyed Humanity (Plague Inc) must defend Equestria from the Xenomorphs while Sunbut masturbates with cabinet door while chugging a bag of milk while Spitfire is anally raped by Jeremy Soule
Only another cabinet can save the day
The New Vegas Courier must use his 11 points of Survival to defend Equestria from... uh... the AIDS that killed Jenny in 'Forrest Gump'... while a red-faced Applejack feverishly strokes herself with my blanket and chugging water (gotta remain hydrated because of all the fluids she's gushing) while Scootaloo is getting her ass pounded by Annie Lennox of Eurythmics' big purple strap-on. The only way to save Equestria? A five-foot bed lamp with a spike at the end... I've always thought it would be neat to use this thing as a weapon.
Jango Fett must defend Equestria from Iron Monger while Applejack masturbates with a pepperoni pizza and chugs a bottle of cherry coke while Rainbow Dash is anally raped by Phil Collins at a speed of X thrusts per second.
My cat can help me solve this problem.
>Engineer has to save Equestria from Bane
I don't think that's a practical problem.
I would watch the shit out of Dio Brando vs. Smaug.
Old Snake has to defend Equestria from Dr. Evil while Twilight masturbates with a pillow while Rarity is getting raped by Relative Fraction. The only thing that can stop this is my blanket.
Duke Nukem has to defend Equestria from Clubber Lang while Trixie is masturbating with a box of 550 .22 Long Rifle while chugging a bottle of Cough Syrup while Applejack is getting anally raped by AC/DC.
Only my Wallet and Smartphone can solve the problem.
So what you're saying is the protagonist of Devil Survivor has to defend Equestria from Lio Shirazumi, while Twilight Sparkle is masturbating with bolt cutters, while chugging a bottle of water, while Derpy is getting anally raped by Bad Religion?
Carl Johnson has to defend Equestria from Blackheart from Ghost Rider while Scootaloo is masturbating with my Sony Camera while chugging a bottle of Honolulu blue Towne Club Soda while Featherweight is being anally raped by the Statler Brothers. And the only thing that can help me is an empty bottle of Towne Club Soda.
>Jack From Biocock To Save Questria' from Godzilla
>While Tia masturbates with a Celtic dagger, while drinking sunny D,
>Top Cunt getting raped by Dethklok
>Problem being solved with a sawed off shot-gun
The Blacksmith from Castle Crashers is saving Equestria from Betty from Kung Pow, while Twilight is masturbating with my phone and drinking Mountain Dew. Fluttershit is too busy getting raped to help, and NWA is pounding that shit at 6 thrusts a sceond
and only a pillow can save them.
looks like its a no fucks given day
Vault 101 escapee has to defend equestria from The Joker while Scootaloo is masturbating with a CZ P-09 while chugging a bottle of Smirnoff while Derpy is getting anally raped by Pink Floyd.
Only ezio auditore can save equestria from megatron while twilight is masturbating with a light switch and rainbow dash is getting ass assaulted by bring me the horizon, and the only thing that can help is a shopping cart
Xian is defending equestria from depression while dashie is masturbating with a broomstick while chugging a melloyellow while hardwell rapes rarara
tfw turned on
could writefag like my friend up there, but
Commander Shepard has to save Equestria from the moon nazis while Twilight masturbates with a desktop PC and AJ is getting anally raped by Scorpion at x thrusts per second.
The only thing that can help me solve this...
is a small bronze model of the Eiffel Tower.
so a 40k Guardsman is fighting baconhair pony while Veronika masturbates with a bottle of vodka while diamond tiara is raped by the entire Red Army Choir and the only thing that can solve this is an Ak-47
guys i swear I'm not Russian
Rorona has to defend Equestria from the aliens from Edge of Tomorrow while Pinkie Pie masturbates with my smartphone while drinking bottled water and Cadence is getting raped by McGruff the Crime Dog (80s anti-drug song album on Youtube).
And a black permanent marker can solve this.
It's up to the President of the United States, aka the leader of the 3rd Street Saints to stop Lord Business from turning all of Equestria into glue. Meanwhile, Lyra shoves cold mac and cheese into her vagoo while chugging some Pepsi. All the while The Mountain Goats anally rape Diamond Tiara.
Only my iPod full of porn can save the day.
Raiden from Metal Gear Rising has to defend Equestria from KAIJU while Twilight Sparkle is masturbating with a roll of paper towels while chugging a bottle of root beer while Rainbow Cunt is getting anally raped by Green Day at a rate of
Dubsthrusts per second.
Jebediah Kerman must defend Equestria from Prince Hans of the Southern Isles while Princess Luna is masturbating with an HTC smartphone while chugging a bottle of apple and blackcurrant fruit juice. Meanwhile, Fluttershy is getting anally raped by the band 2CELLOS at a rate of X thrusts per second.
The only way I can solve this problem is with a ceramic bowl containing a peanut butter jar, which itself contains two several-day-old apple cores.
Nathan Drake must save Equestria from Lisa!
(from the Room), meanwhile Rarity is sticking a 3DS up her vag, She seems to be chugging down
a Monster (that explains her unusual behaviour)
Somewhere else Soarin is getting his ass raped by 5FDP in a number of X thrusts, in the end only a Rarity boob mouse pad will save the day...
Pink Knight has to defend Equestria from Drago Bloodfist while Lyra is masturbating with a Dualshock3 controller chugging a bottle of lemonade. Rarara is getting anally raped by Jackal Queenston at a rate of x thrusts per second.
And only this tiny desk fan can help me solve this problem.
You... you wot.
>Princess Rosalina is defending Equestria from Lord Business. While Pinkie Pie is grinding against a wall, while drinking Coca Cola. While Snips is being raped by REM.
What the fuck OP?
In a world where OP is not a faggot.
A grey warden must defeat the desgoffe-und-taxis family, meanwhile AJ masturbates furiously with a bottle of pepsi, and chugging another bottle of pepsi, due the sheer beauty of 'Boy with apple' now in her family posesion.
In our hero's race against time he'll deal with really fucked up shit like Fleetfoot being raped by Journey anyway they want it.
A simple object is key to our hero's quest. he's ready to kick ass and drink cups of tea. and he's all out of tea.
Rico Rodriguez has to defend Equestria against the aliens from Independence Day, while Fluttershy is masturbating with a set of headphones while chugging a bottle of milk. Rainbow Dash however is getting anally raped by Dragonforce. The only thing I can use to stop all this? A statue figure of a Native American and his wolf.
Yeah, this isn't ending well for anyone.
So Sora from KH2 has to save equestria from Smaug while Trixie masturbates with a pillow and chugs water and rainbow cunt is getting anal raped by Link in Park at a rate of X thrusts per second
And I can stop this with a couch
Why would I want to stop this god tier entertainment?
Knight from "Rogue Legacy" is trying to save Equestria from Prince Hans from "Frozen", while Pinke Pie is masturbating with a letter, while Rainbow Dash is raped by Tim Minchin.
And only object what can help me solve this problem is my teddy bear.
Great. Just great.
The 5th Ghostbuster has to defend Equestria from the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man while Octavia is masturbating with my watch while chugging a bottle of water while Diamond Tiara is getting anally raped by PHANTASM to at a rate of [rolling] thrusts per second.
> And only the S.T.A.R.S. Barry Burton Custom M9 can solve this problem.
Mad Libs by /mlp/
Ezio has to save Equestria from the Kaiju while Octavia is masturbating furiously using a box of tissues whilst chugging a bottle of water, at the same time Flash Sentry is getting anally raped by Pete Burns. The only thing that can save everyone is my favourite cup
>last vg character
Gaige from borderlands 2
>last movie villain
If you haven't watch 22 jump street yet and you want to skip this
that really awkward white chick
Cold young coconut. Shits fresh and sweet
>least favorite pony
I don't even fucking know, man.
>The Engineer has to defend Equestria from Dr.Evil while Applejack is masturbating with a plastic cup while chugging a bottle of Grape juice while RainbowDash is getting anally raped by Queen. And only a Pocket Knife can help me solve this problem.
Wilson from Don't Starve must protect Equestria from El Macho from Despicable Me 2.
Meanwhile, Panko Pea is clopping on a beige couch and drinking a large glass jug of water, at varying intervals.
Nearby, Braeburn is getting Surprise Butt sex from Tristam at a speed to be determined.
Holding my copy of "The Adventure Time Encyclopedia" I must solve this problem, somehow, maybe.
Roll for thrust rate
Also, multiple objects to my right. Which do i use anon?
Post ending in even number picks
Joel (The Last of Us) is stuck defending Equestria from The Shadow (The Gamers) while Twilight masturbates with a digital camera and chugging a bottle of green tea. Rainbow dash is getting anally raped by The Dreadnoughts.
So I have to settle all this with a box fan.
>the bald guy from the Hitman games fighting Nero from Star Trek (2009) while Twilight Sparkle is masturbating with my headphones and chugging a bottle of water while Trixie is getting anally raped by Unitopia
That'd be a strange sight.
So Sly has to stop Dio, while Fluttershy is rubbing herself with my sperm towel, drinking down Arizona Iced Tea. And Rainbow Dash is getting raped by Danny Cocke, and the only thing that can stop it is my overused fleshlight.
Adam Jensen has to save Equestria from I don't watch movies, while Sweetie Belle is masturbating with my Tamagotchi while chugging a bottle of tea, while Rarity is getting anally raped by I don't listen to music at a rate of _ thrusts per second.
And to solve this problem I need to use a fucking wall.
IT'S ALWAYS A FUCKING WALL
A Cromwell A27M has to defend Equestria from the Kobra Commander while Twilight is fapping to a pillow while chugging down milk while trixie gets anal raped by Alvin Risk at x thrusts per second where a blanket can solve my problem
>Last video game character
My Dark Souls female lvl 150 faith build with an Estoc and Zweihander as main weapons.
>Last movie villian
I honestly don't remember the last movie I watched, so I'm just going to say Mance from Game of Thrones.
>Object to my left
A glass cup.
Brisk iced tea
>Least favourite pony
Concerning the show as a whole? Probably Flash Sentry.
>Object to my right
My ATH-m50s. I suppose I could just listen to music and wait for everything to settle down...
All in all, 10/10 thread, OP. Let's see my post count.
I can understand that ...but...
please Anon, explain. I will not be able to sleep this night wondering why are those things still around this day.
And to put it in narrative...
The Cursed Undead has to defend Equestria from Mance and the Wildling army while Pinkie Pie masturbates with a glass cup as she chugs Brisk iced tea. Flash Sentry is getting anally raped by The Antlers at 1 thrusts per second.
Meanwhile, I am just listening to music on my headphones. I don't know how else I can use ATH-m50s to solve everything.
>Lobo has to defend Equestria from >President Business while >PinkiePie is masturbating with >an ashtray while chugging a bottle of Steel Reserve while >Spike is getting anally raped by >AC/DC at a rate of x thrusts per second where x equals the last number of your post.
Sora from Kingdom Hearts has to defend Equestria from Voldemort. Rainbow Dash is masturbating with a packet of sakatas while chugging a bottle of wine. Brad Sentry is getting raped by Nirvana and only my phone can solve this problem. What problem?
The Medic must defend the realm of Equestria by fending off The Joker, whilst Ponk is masturbating with a wallet, all the while downing a bottle of Sprite. In the meantime, Diamond Tiara is being anally penetrated by the members of Breaking Benjamin at x thrusts per second. And I got my butterfly knife with which to attempt to aid my german companion in what should be an exciting endeavor.
Phoenix Wright has to defend Equestria from Deadpool while Rarity is masturbating with a TV controller while chugging a bottle of strawberry Nesquik milk while Rainbow Dash gets anally raped by TheBeatles at a rate of my post number.
And only my 3DS can help me solve this problem.
>Booker Dewitt must defend Equestria from Godzilla(2014) while Twilight Sparkle is masturbating with a TV remote while drinking a bottle of Dr. Pepper while Ponka Poe is getting anally raped by Foreigner at a rate of x thrusts per second.
And my 4DE Twilight Sparkle plushie can somehow stop this.
Reaper, the #4 from Bone Arrow flight, must use his trusty F/A-18 to stop Syndrome from destroying Equestria. The raw intensity of this battle of the ages has aroused Applejack to the point of fucking herself with a can of AXE. Dark Temptation to be precise. Using one hoof to work the can in and out of her, she uses the other to chug a glass bottle of milk, sloppily pouring the white sustenance down her muzzle and all over her hot pony body. Meanwhile, a mere 10 feet away, good ol' Marshal Mathers gives Rarity the most brutal buttfucking ever experienced by the marshmallow ponut. Even though he only thrusts 4 times a second, the air is filled with her pain filled cries as the rap god ravages her. As I walk between the apple bucker and the marshmallow fucker, with Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" in hand, I prepare myself for the battle to come.
Zombie Pyro has to defend Equestria from Muto while Ponka is masturbating with my hardbook copy while chugging a bottle of water while Rainbow Cunt is getting anally raped by Weird Al.
And a brick wall will help me solve the puzzle
The Emperor of the Byzantine Empire has to defend Equestria from the Green Goblin, while Twilight masturbates with my Samsung Galaxy S3 and chugs a bottle of Root Beer. While this goes on, Spike is getting anally raped by Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky.
Anduin Wrynn has to defend Equestria from that fucking faggot who almost killed Anna in Frozen while Purplesmart is masturbating with pic related while chugging a bottle of sparkling water while Rarity is getting anally raped by Anamanaguchi.
And only a radiator can solve this problem.
>Dante must defend Equestria from General Zod while Twilight masturbates with a copy of "The Silmarillion" chugging a bottle of peach Snapple while Rainbow Dash gets anally raped by David Bowie. The problem can only be solved with an English to Yiddish dictionary.
Not in a million years.
WWII US Airborne trooper defends Equestria from Aliens while Applejack masturbates with a baseball while chugging spiced rum while fucking Octavia is being anally raped by the cast of Hairspray at a rate of whatever the fuck.
And my bass guitar will save us all.
>but I can't even play bass
>The chosen undead must defend Equestria from the D-tank virus while Applejack masturbates with a 360 controller and chugs a bottle of Captain Morgan while Vinyl Scratch is getting anally raped by Jeff Loomis's furious fretting fingers.
And only my beat up fender imitation can save the day...
>Wind-up Knight taking on Godzilla, Applejack rubbing herself with a roll of toilet paper and chugging a bottle of red wine, Pinkie anally raped by every member of Little Dragon.
Only the tooth paste can save us.
PotatoBerry must defend equestria from xenomorphs while twily furious jams her twat with my phone on record while chugging a bottle Indian gooseberry honey tea. Pinkypoop is getting raped by electric wizard in a satanic virgin sacrifice ritual like a bunny. She fucking wubs it.
>Not in a million years.
HOW DO I BREATHE
The Postal Dude has to defend Equestria from Zed while Applejack is masturbating with a plate while chugging a bottle of coke, meanwhile Fluttershy is getting anally raped by Metallica.
My TF2 mug will put an end to this.
Chains from payday 2 has to defeat a street magician, Pinkie is drinking a flat white while masturbating with a wall, Rarity is being raped by the ink spots and the only thing that can solve my problem is my suitcase.
So the Duke of Wellington and his loyal british army (from Napoleon total war) have to defend Equestria from Lord Vader and the Empire while Derpy is masturbating with my mic and chugging a bottle of cola and Top Cunt is getting anal raped by the Gorillaz...and the only thing that can save us all is an old swiss army knife
Yuri from mental omega has to defend Equestria from the cat with the hat while rarity grinds on the wall while drinking water.Rainbow dash is getting raped by THE SCORPIONS.Yeah that seems about an average day in the life of the prince of bell air
So the Dovahkiin has to defend Equestria from Loki while Rainbow dash masturbates with a bottle of ice tea while chugging same said ice tea (I'm not sure what position she has to get into do do that?) while twist gets raped by The Beatles.
Nelson Tethers must save Equestria from a one-hundred foot Satan with seven dragon heads while Pinkie Pie masturbates with a plastic cup while drinking a bottle of Diet Coke, all while Rarity is anally raped by Lemaitre at a rate of [last post number here] per second.
The crew of a Hellcat tank destroyer has to defend Equestria from King Ecbert of Wessex of while Rarity is masturbating with a canister of vanilla-flavored roasted almonds while chugging a bottle of espresso while Flashy is getting anally raped by Trent Reznor.
Fallout 3 character has to defend Equestria from Zuul while Celestia is masturbating with a bottle of eyeglass cleaner while chugging a can of ginger ale while Pinkie Pie is getting anally raped by Iron Maiden. And the only object that can save me is my phone.
Isaac Clarke defend Equestria against Hitler while Rainbow Dash is masturbating with an USB-Stick while chugging with a bottle of Ice-Tea while Pinkie Pie getting rape by Katy Perry ?
>Isaac Clark has to defeat The Thing before it escapes into the wild and consumes the entire planets biosphere.
>Meanwhile orange horse is masturbating with a scented candle and drinking milk and prismatic dyke is being raped by fatboy slim and his fat ass beats.
>The only item I have to help with is a decorative bow, that doesnt have a real bowstring and no arrows.
I can only assume equestria is about to enjoy a lot of fun, set to some house rocking beats, and body horror.
I need a writefag.
Frank Woods has to defend Equestria from HAL 9000 while applejack is masturbating with a pair of needle nose pliers while chugging a bottle of kool-aide while big mac is getting anally raped by Jerry Lee Lewis.
The only thing that can stop this is an old steel M1 helmet.
Painwheel from Skullgirls has to defend Equestria from Satan while Celestia is masturbating with an air-conditioning remote while chugging a bottle of 4-seasons iced tea while Rainbow Dash is getting anally raped by Caravan Palace at a rate of x thrusts per second where x equals the last number of your post.
And only a belt can help you solve this problem.
Well the lone wander of Fallout 3 defends Equestria from Mr. Buisness from LEGO movie while Celestia masturbates with my Xbox controller while chugging water while Rainbow is being raped by Imagine Dragons and the object that can save me is a old laptop
michael schumacher has to defend equestria from godzilla while pinkie pie masturbates with my ipod while chugging a bottle of diet coke while rainbow dash is being anally raped by kiss and the only thing that can stop this is a pack of juicy fruit with two sticks left.
Kayle must defeat Bill from Kill Bill while Pinkie is masturbating with my pillow while chugging Mountain Dew. Meanwhile Fluttershy is being anally ravaged by Linkin Park.
The only thing I have to help the situation is my guitar.
When did this happen to me?
The dude from DayZ has to defend Equestria from the mob boss on The Untouchables while Pinkamena is masturbating with a ThinkPad laptop while chugging a bottle of Dr. Pepper while Pinkie Pie is getting anally raped by Darius Rucker at a rate of (X) thrusts per second and only an HP printer can help me.
Steve has to defend the kingdom from Grunion as Flootershai masturbates with a power supply from a laptop (NO FLUTTERS NO) as she chugs some Shasta Twist. Meanwhile, my OC gets gangbanged by Black Lab at a number of thrusts per second equal to my roll.
And all I have to save the day is Flutters's can of Shasta.
>minecrafter's face when
The Lone Wanderer has to defend Equestria from Lord Sauron, while Princess Celestia masturbates with a loofa, chugging a gallon of Luzianne Tea, while Applejack is getting anally raped by Simon and Garfunkel at x speed.
The only object that can help is a roll of toilet paper.
The (Good) Hero of Oakvale has to defend Equestria from How to train your Dragon 2 viking dude while Fluttershy is masturbating with a table spoon while drinking coffee with milk, but no sugar, while Pinkie Pie is getting gang raped by Children of Bodom and a water proof camera is the only thing that can solve this problem.
While Rarity is masturbating with...my doberman?
While chugging some grape juice
While Twilight gets raped by Symbol.
And the object that can help me is...my cell phone.
James Heller has to defend equestria from Draco Bloodfist while Vinyl Scratch masturbates with a copy of issue #4 of the portal comics, while Rarity is getting anally raped by Martin Garrix at a pace of (X) thrusts per second, and the only thing that can save me is a half eaten turkey sandwich.
This is gonna be fun...
Skyrim: Myself (fuck the right, I have me)
Eragon: The Varden
Drink: V8 fruit punch (expired)
Anal w/: Imagine Dragons
Rate: hell if I know? I use mobile.
Right: Swords and Knives... Skyrim tho...
So...Soldier has to defend Equestria from Lord Voldemort while Applejack masturbates with a mug full of hot tea while chugging a bottle of water and Rainbow Dash is being anally raped by Laibach. The only thing that can stop this is my iPhone 4S.
The Necromancer from Diablo 2 has to defend Equestria from Red Mask while Celestia masturbates with an electronic toothbrush while chugging water while Pinkie Pie gets raped by Daft Punk at x thrusts per second.
Glad there's nothing to my right because I'm perfectly ok with this.
Axton has to defend Equestria from the Omega brain from Edge of Tomorrow. Pinkie masturbates with a Glide floss container, and ends up chugging a bottle of Mello Yello. During this time, Rainbow Dash is getting anally raped by Jamie Christopherson and Logan Mader at the same time.
Only a can of Mello Yello can help me solve this problem.
Sorry Axton, I guess I'm just going to be staying home on this one.
Draco Bloodfist looked into The Hero's eyes
>I won't go down as easily as Jack of Blades, he may have become a dragon, but I control dragons!
>WACK BUAK WAAH!!!!!
> Your attention turned to a small yellow pony, who seemed to be pleasuring herself with a spoon
>Fluttershy! Now is not the time to clop!
>Are spoons your fetish Anon?
Draco's call had been heard, as you turned you saw only Spike
>What in Odin's name is this? Is this the only dragon here?
But the Hero at that point was in melee range of the villain, and with Avo's Tear in hand he struck brave and true
>Is that all you've got?
>Draco landed a solid strike with his spear knocking the Hero on his back
>Spike bit the Hero but the he was no match. A kick made Spike fly off into the distance.
>Sadly Draco had enough time to get another strike
>Hero, your health is low, do you have any potions, or food?
>Shut the fuck up Guildmaster!
>You then saw 5 males of nordic descent pounding away at a pink pony at 1 thrust per second
Why was this happening? What had you done to deserve such a horrifying site? But there was a more important matter. You needed to stop Draco. You saw a water proof camera and threw it with all your might
>The camera had stunned Draco enough to let the Hero deliver the final blow,
>off came his head, and the day had been one
Oh god. Ronan from Murdered Soul Suspects, must defend Equestria from Farquad. Meanwhile, Derpy is masturbating with a TV remote wile drinking a bottle of
cum whiteGatorade, and Rarity is getting raped by Dethklok. The only solution is a cup of cold coffee.
>UMvC3 - Phoenix Wright, Felicia, Morrigan
> the scream guy
>pinkie pie getting off to a pair of my underwear while drinking water
>rarity being raped by Enimem doing 00 thrusts per second
Equestria is fucked,
Commander Shepperd has to defend Equestria from the hivemind thing from Edge of tomorrow while Applejack is masturbating wiyh a ps3 controller while chugging a bottle of glacier freeze gaterade while your Rarity is getting anally raped by Dragonforce to at a rate of x thrusts per second where x equals the last number of your post.
And only my 1911can help me solve this problem.
William "B.J" Blazkowicz has to defend equestria from The devil (Tenacious D) whilst Pinkie Pie is masterbating with a Surge protector while chugging a bottle of Coffee and Diamond Tiara is getting anally raped by Godot from the Pheonix Wright turnabout soundtrack.
Well, I appreciate that, even if it was only a typo. Derp.
God damn, I can be so clumsy with posting sometimes.
The GTA V guys are defending Equestria against the Django Unchained slavers while Rainbow Dash is masterbating with a Sunkist can while chugging a bottle of Sunkist while Miss Harshwinney is being ass raped by The Doors. My only tool to solve the problem is a wicker basket.
A random girl with a flash light who likes to go out into the woods and get caught by Slender-man must defend Equestria from Dr. Evil from Austin Powers, while Tavi is masturbating with my pocket knife and chugging down a bottle of I don't know which flavor cool-aid while Chrysalis is getting butt fucked by Hans Zimmer (He's not from a band but the last music I listened to was from him, so we'll just let him have fun with Chrysalis) and the thing that can solve all of this is a cup that used to be filled with the "I don't know which flavor cool-aid"
>Red Knight from Castle Crashers has to stop The Joker
>Pinkie is fucking my Minccino plush while drinking Lemonade.....
>AppleJack is being raped by Metallica
Castle Crasher knights are persistent as fuck so he'll probably kill Joker no problem.
And nothing is to my right but a wall. What do
That guy from the first Bioshock has to save Equestria from that jerky teacher/principal from the Breakfast Club while Octavia masturbates with a used Chick-fil-a sandwich bag with a bit of ketchup on it while chugging a bottle of tea.
Unless yoi meant last alchohol, which would be strawberry daquiriwhile Twilight is getting analy raped by Lady Gaga, and the only thing I can solve the problem with is my hat.
>*Tips Chick-fildora and carries waifu to a more private place*
Blitzcrank has to defend Equestria against.. Cancer?
Twilight Sparkle is masturbating using my piano, and drinking water.
Flash the Waifustealer is being anally raped at rate of X by Diablo Swing Orchestra.
The only object that can help me solve this problem is my Buchla modular synthesizer.
Implying this is a problem. Implying I'm not going to start a modular jam while watching Twilight rub herself off.[/quote] Implying this isn't my fetish.
The Hero of Kvatch must save Equestria from Bane while Twilight is masturbating with my Xbox 360 controller, while Rainbow Dash is being anal raped by The Eagles. And the only thing to stop this is another 360 controller.
So Aiden Pierce is defending Equestria against the bad guy from the Lego Movie, Chrysalis is masturbating with my PS Vita and chugging a bottle of prune juice, Gilda is a pony now and is being raped by Excision, Bassnectar and Crizzly at the rate of X thrusts per second.
And the only thing that can stop this is my headphones...
In the words of Simian Yetarian: You are fucked, my boy! FUCKED!
Windwaker Link has to save equestria from Drago Bloodvist while Twilight Sparkle masturbates with my cell phone while chugging mountain dew while rarity gets raped by deadmau5 the only thing that can stop it is my dell tablet
My animal crossing character has to save Equestria from Scar (The Lion King) while Rarity is masturbating with a plate while chugging water while Flash Sentry is getting anally raped by Three Days Grace
The only thing that can solve this is a fan.
>Watch as the ugly as sin ork lady Dovahkiin faces down Danny Lugo with the fate of Equestria hanging in the balance
>Be distracted by Rarity suddenly grabbing coat
>Rarity starts frantically stuffing coat into vagina with wild abandon
>Fuck, just washed that
>Rarity starts pouring water down her throat, still shoving coat into vag
>Be distracted again by squealing
>See Mötley Crüe pulling anal train on Trixie
>Its going to be one of those days
Tiz Arrior has to defend Equestria from Ma-Ma of Mega City One while Rarity is masturbating with my cell phone while chugging a bottle of water while Fluttershy is getting anally raped by Linked Horizon at a rate of x thrusts per second where x equals the last number of this post.
>And only my wristwatch can help me solve this problem.
So my 3ds mi has to save us from the guy from lego movie well rainbow faps with my oldest pillow and chugging water and three days grace x pinkie is happening and only a small bit of plastic wrap can help?
Why isn't the last movie you saw Enemies at the gates?
>Pic very related
I shit you not
The Dragon Born defends Equestria from Smaug while Twilight masturbates with my tv remote. Meanwhile, Blueblood is being anally raped by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Demoman has to defend Equestria from Cohaagen.
Meanwhile Rainbowdash is Masturbating with a bottle of coke whilst also drinking said coke.
Diamond Tiara is now getting anally raped by TLC at a speed of hopefully 10 thrusts per second.
>The Nameless One (Planescape Torment) has to defend Equestria from The Master (Manos The Hands of Fate) while Derpy is masturbating with a pipe-wrench while chugging a bottle of seltzer while Photo Finish is getting anally raped by Desireless. And only a bike lock can help me solve this problem.
It's an abstract kind of hell.
>Steve (from Minecraft) has to defend Equestria from Captain Hook (Thank you little sister) while Princess Luna chugs a bottle of flat Mello Yello and masturbates with a straw hat. Meanwhile, Flash Sentry is getting raped by AC-DC and I can only solve this with a wooden hatchet.
Lara Croft must defend Equestrian from the Borg while Rarara is mastirbating with my MacBook Pro while chugging a bottle of iced tea while Fluttershy is getting anally raped by the Wu-Tang Clan
Asura has to defend Equestria from Voldermort while rara masturbates with a pillow chugging a bottle of water while Gorillaz anally rape RD at a rate of x thrusts per second And only my PC can stop this
The Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs main character has to defend Equestria from Satan while Fluttershy is masterbating with a Pepsi bottle while chugging a bottle of Pepsi while Trixie is getting anally raped by Papa Roach at the rate of.... 5 thrusts per second?
My lvl 61 warrior in TBC gets his ass kicked by Tetsuo as he the explodes in a fleshy mass while twilight clops while drinking a massive bottle of pilsner as rainbowdash is anally raped bu the rolling stones
Raiden is trying to save Equestria from HYDRA lead by Robert Redford while Rarity masturbates with a rolled up newspaper while drinking Cheerwine. Meanwhile Rainbow Dash is being anally raped by Michael Jackson and all I have to stop it is a three ring binder
My Mount and Blade character has to defend Equestria from the Sheriff of Rottingham while Miss Harshwhinny masturbates furiously with a quilt while chugging a bottle of root beer while Coco Pommel is anally raped by the band members of RUSH at the rate of x thrusts per second and the only thing I have on hand to help is my cellphone.
The inspector from Papers, Please must defend Equestria from the antagonist of the Bourne Identity whilst Applejack masturbates with my phone while chugging a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon while Porchlight Spackle is getting anally raped by Charles Mingus.
And only my curtains can stop this heinous act.
>last videogame character
Vulcan, Bound By Flame
>Last Movie villian
Mr.Smith Matrix Reloaded
coke&coke (or some shit like dat)
ms horse whinny
Isaac Clarke must defend Equestria against a pack of velociraptors. Meanwhile Twilight Sparkle is masturbating with my dog and drinking ice water. While this is going on Trixie is being furiously raped in the ass by the Berlin Symphony Orchestra
at the speed of doubles. The only thing that can bring an end to this madness is my other dog.
Commander John Shepard must save Equestria from Godzilla in brutal fisticuffs whilst Princess Celestia shoves a rather large wooden chair into her vagina while tasting the power of the sun and Renbo Dish is getting brutally sodomized by the entirety of the cast of Les Miserables.
Only a small dog toy can solve this problem.
Vulcan And The Fire Demon has to defend equestria`s worldheart facing Mr.Smith and his legion of copies, while fluttershy masterbates whit a pair of headphones drinking coke, in the mean time Ms.Horsewhiny is being anally hardly fucked by Global Deejays.
The N7 Destroyer must save equestria from Thomas Gabriel while Orange Treekicker jams a lighter inside her while chugging orange-flavored lemonade, all while Twilight is getting buttfucked by Thievery Corporation. My legs are the only thing that can help me.
>A clone of the 501st Legion has to defend Equestria from The Joker while Pinkie is masturbating with an empty glass while chugging a bottle of milk while Twist is getting anally raped by Toto at a rate of (the last number in this post),and my modem can help me solve this problem.
>The Courier (decked out in T-51b power armor and wielding fully-upgraded laser and plasma pistols and rifles) must save Equestria from Hans (from Frozen) while Twilight is masturbating with a pair of headphones while drinking Coke, Jet Set and Upper Crust are being anally raped by Styx, and only my phone can help solve this problem.
Considering that the Courier can easily turn Hans to ash or goo (or just talk him into giving up), and that I hate Jet Set and Upper Crust, the only problem here is that Twilight is messing up my headphones. Do I call Princess Celestia to get her to stop or something?
William BJ Blazcowitz must defend equestria from Lord business while Twilight is using a airsoft m1911 while chugging mug root beer. And Applejack is getting anally raped by All of the Queen members. Wow. This is funny
Pierce has to fight the bug from MIB I Luna is masturbating with my radio and chugging a bottle of beer and Trixie is getting butt fun from The Black Dahlia Murder at a rate of X per second.
The only solution to this problem is a 3/4 in. X 14 in. masonry drill bit.
This is all quite plausible.
My Blacklight Retribution agent has to defend Equestria from Loki (Marvel) using her enormous and terrifying arsenal of lethal weapons like powered exoskeletons and throwing tomahawks with explosives packed in them.
Twilight Sparkle is getting off with a Halo Reach Legendary Edition statue while chugging Wild Turkey 101, and Suri Polomare is being gang-banged by all the former members of Thought Industry.
To my right, under the bed, is a .45 ACP Kimber Custom II in its case.
I think I know what I must do.
was the second last movie and the second last video game before DoW was RO2
do not of worry comrade, i enjoy seeing the Fascist pig die and am loyal to motherland, just caught at bad time.
Carl Johnson must rush in a stolen car to save equestria from Steve Jobs (Jobs was a shit movie) while Rarity has her way with a broken router, taking a swig from a halfway bottle of Sangría. In the meantime Trixie is shared like a canteen between The Avalanches, POLICEMAN and the whole collab for the Fifa Street 2 EA Trax (nasty shit). The weapon which will help with all of this is a DVD copy from Seinfeld's season 1&2.
Agent 47 must defend Equestria from Drago Bloodfist, so Rarity can masturbate to my flashlight and down a bottle of lemonade at the same time. Meanwhile, Fluttershy's getting ass raped by Rise against.
The only thing that can aid me in this is my guitar.............
at least it's a guitar.
Soma killed hundreds of Pegasi because he wanted to have a glide ability, despite trying to defend Equestria from Shang Tsung. Bacon Mane is grinding herself to a PC rig while chugging a bottle of water, while Pinkie Pie is being raped by The Protomen multiple times.
Only a set of blinds can end this madness.
Super Meat Boy
>Masturbation object and fav pone
My phone and ponka
>Least favorite pone and band
Babs seed and Frank Sinatra
Well I can watch some tv while this shit goes on in the background
So Space Harrier is fighting Godzilla, while Vinyl Scratch is masturbating with a Mega Drive with some Pepsi. Meanwhile Fluttershy is getting boned by Accept, and my PC will put an end to this.
Isn't that some shit.
Jason Brody from Farcry3 has to defend Equestria from the psychotic half hillbilly from tucker and dale v.s. the evil while applejack slams her cunt against a box fan while chugging water. Celestia is getting raped by Counting Crows and only my mouse can solve this problem...
Honestly Jason Brody has this one in the bag, meanwhile AJ is having good clean fun while worst pony gets slammed by an awesome band... Maybe they'll put on a show after... Hell naw I'm keeping my mouse.
>Nomad must defend Equestria from Lord Business while Applejack is masturbating with a lamp while chugging a bottle of lemonade while Diamond Tiara is getting anally raped by Lou Reed at x thrusts per second. I must use a knife to try and solve this "problem".
Ms.Fortune has to defend Equestria from Robert Fischer while everypony in Equestria is masturbating with my vacuum cleaner, and nopony is getting anally raped by me. The only thing what can help me solve this is an undersized Pinkie Pie.
So Samus Aran is saving Equestria from Joker while Pinkie Pie masturbates with a Rubik's Cube while chugging a bottle of Canada Dry and Rainbow Dash is being anally raped by Stromae at 18412098 thrusts per second.
And my Ipod is the only thing that can stop this.
>The engineer from tf2 has to save equestria from robin rotten
This trully is a practical problem
Excalibur from Warframe must defend equestria from a xenomorph horde, while lyra masturbates with a tennis ball while chugging a bottle of coca-cola. Meanwhile Diamond tiara is getting ass-raped by Green Day. And only my busted Nintendo Ds can help solve this situation.
>watch as the Lone Wanderer aims his Minigun at the pair of Tyrannosaurs
>a throaty moan from your left draws your attention away
>it's Twilight Sparkle rubbing her pussy against the wall
>a shriek pulls your attention away from that
>you can't believe your eyes
>it's none other that Johnny Rebel
>he's railing Rainbow Dash in the ass
>there are big fukken dinosaurs over there
>grab my trusty cup
>smash one end to make it sharp
>rush toward the T-rexes to help the Wanderer
>the Minigun has no effect on the dinosaurs
>plunge my broken cup into one of the rex's toes
>it dies instantly
>truly this cup was the only thing that could help Equestria
Random Pony girl with a tight black suit and a sniper rifle need to kill that armless caveman that dominate dragons from HTTYD 2 while Rarity is masturbating with a
exacto knifewhile drinking natural orange juice while Rainbow Dash is getting anally destroyed by Erasureat a rate of something.
The only thing tht can help me to solve all this shit is a painting brush.
Why wold I try to stop this? It's glorious.
Doom Guy has to defend Equestria from the Joker while Maud is masturbating with a half-empty KFC bucket while chugging cherry ice tea while Rainbow Dash is being anally raped by Nuclear Vomit.
Duct tape it the only thing to solve this problem.
Thrall has to defend Equestria from Avery Tolar while Vinyl Scratch is masturbating with a cellphone charger while chugging a bottle of Pepsi, while Trixie is getting anally raped by Queen. Only a chair can help solve this problem.
Joe Barbaro must defend Equestria from Maleficent while King Sombra masturbates with a small plank of wood while chugging an Arizona iced tea while Rainbow Dash is getting anally raped by Iron Maiden at a rate of dubs thrusts per second.
Commander Shepard has to defend equestria from king xerxes while fluttershy is masturbating with a cellphone while chugging a bottle of rum and gilda is being sodomized by led zeppelin. All i Have to solve this problem is a pack of fucking newports.
Lord Lu Bu must defend Equestria from Drago Bloodfist while Celestia is masturbating with her and Luna's diary while chugging a bottle of Squirt, while Bon Bon is getting raped by Tanooki Suit
And an Armenian Duduk and it's sweet melodies is the only thing that will save us.
The tf2 Spy must stop Lord Business from kragling Equestria while Luna masturbates with my jacket and drinks orange juice, meanwhile Diamond Tiara is being raped by Weird Al.
And the only way to solve this problem is with my laptop
Scout defends equestria from evil king person while Lyra is masturbating to a couch while drinking diet coke. Waifu thief is being analraped by Darude. My defence is phone charger and phone.
Persona 3 Protagonist must save Equestria from Jack Lime (Lame) while Rarity masturbates with with a 3DS while chugging water while Spitfire gets anally raped by OneRepublic and the only thing that can stop this is a Plastic Bag.
>Vega has to defend Equestria from Darth Helmet while Rarity is masturbating with a pair of headphones while chugging a bottle of tea while Rainbow Dash is getting anally raped by The Scorpions. A wall will help me solve all this.
Trevor Phillips must save Equestria from The Joker while Luna masturbates with a tv remote while chugging a gallon of chocolate milk, as Big macs ass gets brutalized by the BeeGees, and the only thing that can save the world is a half eaten bowl of Rice Crispies.
Alex Mercer from the first Prototype is defending Equestria from Obadaiah Stane/Iron Monger from the first Iron Man while Pinkie Pie is masturbating with a quesadilla while chugging a bottle of grape juice while Fluttershit is being anally raped by Queen. I have a bottle of lotion to solve this problem.
I don't think Alex needs my help, though I can at least help Queen stay lubricated.
Ike has to save EQ from Prince Hans while Vinyl is fapping with a briefcase and chugging Root Beer while DT is getting buttfucked by Slipknot and all I can use is an empty can of Root Beer. Vinyl, have a second can. It's clobberin' time.
So I'm symbiote spiderman trying to defend Equestria from a random gay rapist while celestia is masturbating with my tablet and a bottle of lemon-ed tea
and diamond tiara is being raped by venom. (that band responsible for the album black metal)
And the object to my right is my father.
Clementine is defending Equestria from Commodus (Gladiator) while Twilight Sparkle is masturbating with a can of Mountain Dew Baja Blast while chugging a bottle of regular Mountain Dew while Applejack is getting anally raped by Pantera at a rate of (insert post number here). And this compound bow is the only thing that can solve this.
I like my odds.
Demoman as a demoknight must defend Equestria from some faggot while Luna is masturbating with a spoon while chugging a bottle of milk while Derpy is getting anally raped by Deadmau5 at the rate of
3thrusts per second
>My hunter from Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate has to defend Equestria from Randall from Monsters Inc. while Pinkie Pie is masturbating with a nightstand while chugging a bottle of milk while Applejack is anally raped by JAM Project
...I'd watch it.
Salvador the Gunzerker from Borderlands 2
The Fallen from TF:ROTF
>least favorite pony
>Last VG character
Grenadier, USMC, Project Reality
>Last movie villain
>Waifu, object and dring
Spitfire, spoon, mineral water
>Least favorite pony and last band
Applejack, Poets of the fall
>The last video game character you played as
Zero from borderlands 2
>last movie villain you watched
Pulp fiction...I dunno.
>favorite pony is masturbating with the object directly to your left while chugging a bottle of the last thing you drank
Daft Punk CD, Dr. Pepper
>least favorite pony is getting anally raped by the last band you listened to at a rate of x thrusts per second where x equals the last number of your post
Minecraft Steve is defending Equestria from an army of Elites (halo movie) while Pinkie Pie is ramming a gigantic pillow in her vag while Fluttershy is being anally raped by Social Distortion.
Samus Aran has to defend Equestria from Voldemort while Pinkie Pie is masturbating with a can of Lemon Pledge while chugging a bottle of Absinthe while Sombra is getting anally raped by Reel Big Fish a rate of 9 thrusts per second
Random CoD soldier has to defend Equestria from Sheriff Buford T. Justice while Ms. Chickadee Peachbottom masturbates with my pillow while chugging a can of strawberry soda while Rainbow Dash gets anally raped by Hed PE, and the only object that can help me solve this problem is my phone.
So Sona from LoL has to defeat Gideon Graves while rarity is masturbating with a baseball bat (see pic) and drinking ice water while Flash is been raped be lazerhawk and only my belt can stop it
Strelok and his trusty AKS-74U defend Equestria from The commanders of the Japanese Imperial army. Meawhile Daring Do is using my Phone to pleasure herself (goddammit it's gonna short out again) while chugging a cheap bottle of vodka. Simultaneously, The Offspring is having a bit of fun with Derpis. The only problem is with my vodka and phone, I think that my scissors will be quite the asset for taking care of this.
Batman(Arkham Asylum) must defend Equestria from Past Magneto and the Advanced Sentinels(Days Of Future Past) while Sombra(No Homo unless he drop dat soap) masturbates with my nunchucks and drinks Grape Kool-aid. Twiight Priness sparkle gets raped by Andrew W.K at a rate of...
the courier has to defend Equestria from anton chigurh, while pinkie is masturbating with curtains while chugging a bottle of water while Suri Polomare is getting anally raped by Nico Vega at a rate of x thrusts per second where x equals the last number of your post.
well that should be interesting
The chosen undead must defend Equestria from The Joker while Fluttershy masturbates with my computer and chugging a bottle of tea while Twist gets raped by Parov Stelar at some really fast speed.