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Hey /lit/, could you guys give me your opinions on this open

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Hey /lit/, could you guys give me your opinions on this opening excerpt?

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/02/04/michael-dimartino-rebel-genius
>>
Fucking hell he's actually going through with it. I remember finding out about what Mike and Bryan were going to be up to on /co/.

Anyway, it reads like George R.R. Martin for kids. Mike's prose is boring and workmanlike, which I suppose isn't the worst thing in the world. We get a huge lore-dump right away, which I hate, and for some reason this fantasy setting having a person say 'Yeah, right' is extremely annoying.

It's YA, so it's not for me. But I don't like it, even so.
>>
>>7673250
>Anyway, it reads like George R.R. Martin for kids

Remarkably dead-on

There's something that bugs me about authors using the character's name over and over instead of pronouns.
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