You don't, you keep writing like that to provoke those who read your works and come to criticise by saying: blablabla pseudo-intellectual blabla you think you know it all blabla rhetorics blablabla who the hell you think you are blaaaablaaa pretentious and clichè blabla.
use colloquiallisms, make subtle but noticeably intentional grammatical errors in a way that signals your awareness, anticipate potential valid criticisms and have respectable charcters present them while maintainimg slight ambiguity as to whether they are embodying your views or acting as fodder for them, have a literal psychotic preoccupation with how you are perceived
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