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Write a love letter to your waifu
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Write a love letter to your waifu
Dear waifu,

Why aren't you real?

Eat shit you dumb slut.
New baby shoes, never worn
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My lovely water lily,

I realize you're floating, but I don't realize I'm swimming.
And every time I think I'll lose: "Marco-Polo's just beginning."

This dive was thing the only thing that told me "I'm alive".
Aside from you dubbing me your special little spy.

After I caught myself, I sought myself
but couldn't find a rhyme
to make the other half of me
want to be with me.
(Or even spend some time!)

After I caught myself, I sought myself
and found myself in a sink.
My algae eyes identify
the bottom as the brink.
"What a silly way to think,
a silly vision to see."

But it's lonely at the top,
with it's stale variety.
I'm sick of the same things,
of borderline insanity.
I'm sick of....

Say something, right now, just say anything.

You always let me blab -
I'm smart so I talk,
you're vapid, but you're fab.
So *you* walk the walk.

your friendly neighborhood niceguy
Dear girl at work who sees me as less sexually desirable than a small child because I am a meek little bitch,

Your ass is so good in those jeans. Holy fuck I want to chew through those jeans and bite into your ass. I wish I could BE your jeans. Do you paint your jeans on every morning? If I wore jeans as tightly as you do, I would be infertile in 7 seconds. My balls would be flattened to a theoretical plane. I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk about my balls. Please for the love of god suffer a traumatic brain injury that causes you to think I am Napoleon so that you want to fuck me. Please please please grind your jeansy crotch on my face. Sorry I fucked up your coffee order the other day. I am a retard and should be shot. I love you.
Love doesn't exist.
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I love you
I don't give a damn if you don't love me back
I'm sorry
But I love you for me and I'm not sorry about it
Thanks for listening to my ranting. I know it's not worth your time. You're more of a friend than a love interest. Your orange hair is cool.
Please talk to me.
Dear sweet Gloria, I wish I was up in you now with a finger in your ass. Love you, Captain Skinboat.

I studied classics at Dartmouth and this is the best I can come up with.
To the tiny transgirl with green hair. I need to speak to you, and I see you only once a month. Next time, there will be fisticuffs.
Dear Vanessa,
I know I only speak to you through ask.fm, but I sent you a friends request and you never accepted me. Then, on ask.fm, you said you wanted to talk to me via messenger or watsapp. I told you about my friends request and you asked my name, which I gave to you, but you never accepted me either. I like you. Maybe, someday, I'll stop being a faggot, man up, and talk to you vis a vis.
PS. I already have a girlfriend, but she hates my guts. It wont go on longer than a few weeks, I promise.
When I asked about the timetable after class, it was really just a reason to talk to you. We hadn't spoken before but I had my eye on you on the other side of the lecture hall long enough. I think I like your accent, and your eyes, and your smile. A while after, when I asked you out for coffee, you said yes. The incredulousness I carried around for a few days after, because I couldn't believe it. Are you sure? You really do want coffee? With me? Do you know it's a date? On the day when you cancelled due to your aunt coming to town, a part of me feared that this would just turn into a series of more and more unbelievable excuses, but a week later we were sat by the window in the cafe, and it went well enough that I asked you for dinner. You said yes. So I guess you might have gathered this would be as a date. And that brings us up to now - and all would be well if only my paranoia didn't tell me your delay in replying to my messages signalled that you were bored of me already. You're beautiful, you could find someone else.

But I'm so close now. I'm so close. I'll take you to a fancy restaurant, I'll give you flowers, and when night falls we'll kiss by the harbour-side. You're beautiful. Maybe once I could be beautiful too.
Dear Lauren,

I love you. I hope you're happy with him. I'll spare myself the indignity, and you the cringing embarrassment, of going into a rapturous monologue of how you make me feel. So I'll leave you with that, that I'm in love with you. Good luck with everything and have a nice life.


Beta Maximus
I hope you are fucking all those guys in my dreams with your eyebrows tensed and concerned looking at not me when you climax I am too sick nothanks I willwait you fuckingcunt.
Dear waifu there isnt much to say and im bad with words but that doesnt matter cause i love you and you love me.

That is all nothing else matters.
You move more freely in nature than the city. We catch the sunset and you breathe the moment into your body. I'm terrified at your beauty; I hide my eyes because more than a glance into the sacred is shameful for a sinner. You reach deep into me, my nakedness, my being and you are only separated by a vale, paper thin. Can the world stop moving, can the sun stop setting, can you keep gazing, and can we exist in this eternal moment where I behold the divine and am, for the first time in my life, full? My hand moves itself to your hip and you lean into me. Your hair smells sweet below my chin. This moment between you and I - I'll relive ten thousand times.
My Bridget!

You know that I am very fond of talking to myself. I have found myself to be the most interesting person among my acquaintances. Sometimes I feared that I might finally run out of subjects for these conversations, now I am without fear, now I have you and so I now and forever talk to myself about you, about the most interesting subject to the most interesting man. Alas for I am only and interesting person, you the most interesting subject.
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Nice one
>tfw no bf
I'll be your tfw btw
All the toppings. French. Some wine or maybe a stout. James Dean. James Deen. Guitar. ASMR. Dreams.
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Auch auf den Wellen wird gefochten
Wo Fisch und Fleisch zur See geflochten
Der eine sticht die Lanz' im Heer
Der andere wirft sie in das Meer


Reise, Reise Seemann Reise
Jeder tut's auf seine Weise
Der eine stößt den Speer zum Mann
Der andere zum Fische dann

Reise, Reise Seemann Reise
Und die Wellen weinen leise
In ihrem Blute steckt ein Speer
Bluten leise in das Meer

Die Lanze muss im Fleisch ertrinken
Fisch und Mann zur Tiefe sinken
Wo die schwarze Seele wohnt
ist kein Licht am Horizont

yea but is this show worth watching. i have all the seasons but i'm scared to begin
you goddamn faggot...

until you fuck, you don't text for any reason other than to establish a date. she's getting bored because you have nothing else going on besides her and are writing faggy love letters on 4chan. jesus christ dude
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>I'll take you to a fancy restaurant,
>I'll give you flowers
>we'll kiss by the harbour-side
don't do these things
>reading Nabokov in Russian

what a pleb
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Dear, my beloved wife.

I am sorry that we never met. I am sorry for not becoming a person that seems worth your time. I am sorry that I let the ways of women that came before you shape my entire perception of all women. Most of all I am sorry, for not saying something right now, as we stare at each other from opposite sides of this crowded bar filled with depression, and old dudes with polo shirts. I can't think of something to say, but if this plays out how I think it will, I just wanted to ask. Is it too late right now to say sorry? Cause I'm. Missing more than just you're body. Is it too late right now to say sorry? Oh I know the moment I let you down is it too late to say I'm sorry now.
Dear Waifu,
Though my attraction to you is feigned, I am sad that you will never exist. I'll never be able to take you to the ferris wheel in space, or force feed you popcorn through a thick straw shaped like the Space Needle. If you could spend a day with me, it would be a glorious time to be free. Instead, I'll get drunk and listen to Steely Dan.
PS the people living above me are annoying, could you tell them to quiet down?
Dear waifum
I love you, as many others do, and you don't know this. You don't even have the capacity to know as you do not exist. If you were real you would hate me, and have a throng of infinitely better suitors to pick from. You wouldn't even look at me. But for what it's worth, you made my life a little more bearable. I just want you to hear that. Maybe you'd hear it a lot.
Hey Josh H,
I know we've only met once and it's been couple weeks, still, I've had a crush on you for a while. I think you're really cute and kinda funny too. I'm sorry I can't dance. When I ask you out on Monday please reject me unequivocally. I want to stop saving every picture of you I can find. I go through them and pretend we're boyfriends and it's really pathetic.
Thanks mate,
Oh pearly ropes descending down upon
My face, this freckled bed awaits disgrace.
Those arcs I saw now close my shameful eyes
Cannot I say I was surprised? Those arc-
ing ropes of pearl, they fly capriciously
my shocked, blinded eye no longer sees
Yes. The movie might kill you though. I don't know actually if you watch it right after you watch s1 and 2
you gay bro? hahaha fag
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you're 44, i'm 20 and i want to die soon
Dear Lily,
I like you. Everything is motivated by pleasure/sex. Wanna have it?
,ufiaW reaD
I want to photograph you lighting up the scenes of this dull world. I want to paint on your lovely pale canvas, even if I'm shit at painting. I want to immortalize you in marble.
I want the stars to shine your face at night, and I want to drink my face off next to you beneath all those dark skies. I want to lie down and just embrace your expression with my eys as you stare into the distance.
You're mother nature, a beauty so perfect yet so rarely intimately known.
All my fantasies of art and expression are you, that inner Aphrodite whose impression I cannot rid my brain of.
You're my will to write, my will to live, and I know you'll kill me soon. I cannot type with the shudders.
lmao i need to fucking kill myself
I know that I don't love you but for some reason when I think about you I can't stop crying. Why you broke up with me? I thought you said I was beautiful that I was your little girl. I would never be angry at you for that, I'm just sad. I wanted to see you but you didnt want to. I guess I just want your innocent kisses even though you're way more older than me. I feel pathetic right now. I don't love you but how much I want you right next to me. I miss your comfortable company and I miss being curious about everything around you.
I used to had a waifu, but I grew older so no.
This is going to be my reality in a year or two. Stay strong.
Dear hot but pleb girl at work I never talk to,

Yesterday we first talked when you told me that I look familiar to you and asked if we saw each other somewhere in the past. In a minute we concluded that no, and that was it, but what I wanted to reply was "For about a year I daily masturbate to fantasies of us having sex for hours in sauna after you piss on my dick. Maybe that's why. Somehow you have unconscious memories of your self from another reality".

Yours, anon.
Unlock the fucking door & stop crying,
I've been at work all damn week I'm not lying,
I don't need this shit right now,
Every other day another fucking row.

Peace out virgins.
Thread replies: 52
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