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>tfw just realized that I was studying...
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>tfw just realized that I was studying philosophy and taking an interest in literature for the past year out of escapism not out of genuine desire for intellectual enrichment and cultivation of my creative potential and that at the end of the day I'd rather just exit NEETdom, become a normie wage slave, and use my time off to drink and watch anime then continue down the path of simultaneous enlightenment and over whelming confusion which I've been travelling until now

>tfw you realize you're just a stupid person who tried to be smart in order to forget that the only fate for people such as yourself is to either be a lonesome NEET who sucks the blood of society at large, will succumb to his depression, and eventually stick a gun in his mouth or to be a wage slave who makes money for other people just so that they can have enough to go to the bar and get hammered and have casual sex with women just as indifferent to your personality and character as you are to their's

Well anons, for those of you who aren't cowards such as myself, I wish you the best. This will probably be my last post on /lit/, as I truly have no interest or desire left in literature or philosophy, and the above stated reasons are the only rational explanation. I'm sorry for being such a charlatan. Take care
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see you in /r9k/, pal
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>>7659177
At least you have the self-awareness to admit this
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au revoir mon dilletante, let your cup runneth over and consume consume consume
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>>7659177
>>tfw you realize you're just a stupid person who tried to be smart in order to forget that the only fate for people such as yourself is to either be a lonesome NEET who sucks the blood of society at large, will succumb to his depression, and eventually stick a gun in his mouth or to be a wage slave who makes money for other people just so that they can have enough to go to the bar and get hammered and have casual sex with women just as indifferent to your personality and character as you are to their's
If you understood what you read (or actually read more) you'd realise how false this is.
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>>7659210
Prove to me that it's false right now. I'd really like for it to be false but I highly doubt that this is the case
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>>7659212
He's telling you to git gud.
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>>7659177
This is kind of sad and hopeful at the same time. I wish you luck. Thanks for atleast trying to improve your understanding of lit and philosophy. That's already more than 95% of people.
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>>7659177
Read the stoics you stupid gook
I'll post some quotes from Seneca in a minute
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>>7659212
Chill dude, read this when you're feeling better. https://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/s/schopenhauer/arthur/wisdom/index.html
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>>7659177
You can do it anon

Make your dreams come true
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Actually here's some Debord
"It is because human beings have thus been thrust into history, and into participation in the labor and the struggles which constitute history, that they find themselves obliged to view their relationships in a cleareyed manner."
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>>7659249
>>7659234

It doesn't matter what I read or how hard I try to self improve, the pattern just repeats itself, and when the negative blow returns its always ten times greater than it was the last time. Every time I try and get out of it this happens. Things are going spectacular for a few months, even for a near year, and then suddenly it all stops. Its not that some evil force has stopped it. Its that one day I wake up and realize that for the last few weeks, bit by bit, I've just gradually given up here and there until eventually everything has been renounced. When I realize this I panic and try to get back into the groove of things. But no matter how hard I try, when it's gone, its gone. When this happened the first time it was with trying to get a gf/get laid. Then it was /fit/ related. Now it's with /lit/ and /his/ related things. I am just a quitter and it's in my blood. If I wasn't, this would have been a soliliqouy and not a monologue, because I would have talked it out with myself and realized that I was talking nonsense. But the very fact that I am telling others is evidence that I can't do anything other than be another robot, that I'd rather give up then try any harder than I am right now. I'm sorry for being this way, but I can't help it.

Being worthless is kind of like being a homosexual. You don't choose it at all you just suddenly realize it one day and then can't deny that it's a fact afterwords, and that it's always been a fact.
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>>7659263
I used to hate myself before I was good at writing
You should start writing or painting or something. It will help you.
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>>7659257
what the fuck does this even mean
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>>7659272
>You should start writing or painting or something. It will help you.

Haven't you read anything I just said? I can't. I'm objectively, empirically, a quitter. I have no potential and I have no hope. I can't be a writer. The last three books I've tried to read this year I gave up on in three chapters or less. How can a writer be such a terrible reader? Furthermore, I haven't written anything I've ever finished, except a few god awful poems, this year and last year. Before I could read and write somewhat better, but that was when I was deluding myself into thinking that I had some kind of real interest in it, some kind of destiny to be something, not necessarily a revolutionary, but SOMETHING. Now I know what I am. I am simply nothing, and the reason I have lost interest in these things I formerly held so dear is because I obviously did not really care about them in the first place, and was just using them as means to an end of escape from my real destiny, from who I really am.
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>>7659280
We've been thrown into a world where you have work and we don't question it because it's been going on for a long time. Our parents have done it, their parents have done it, etc.
At least that's how I view it.
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>>7659292
Why are you so pathetic?
>hurr I'll never amount to anything I'm nothing
Get in the god damn robot shinji
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>>7659292
Dude who cares. Just do what you like. Don't try to live your life the way other people do or even the way you think you want to live it. If you're thinking is so messed up, it's pointless to even THINK in terms of a big picture. You say you have depression and, well, that fucking sucks. No words for it. It's just shitty. But I'm not sure how you think to escape this anhedonia... It won't be by pursuing something that makes you feel good about yourself though, I'll tell you that much.

tl;dr stop being a tryhard. if you start to enjoy things for their actually-intrinsic value (that is, how they immediately feel), you'll eventually come around. Trust me. I know. I've been there. I'm there right now and I'm getting out.

Anyways, what stops you from just reading for half an hour before bed? You don't have to completely immerse yourself in the /lit/-lifestyle-archetype thing to reap the benefits of reading.

Oh and stop considering yourself a quitter. You sound more burnt out than anything.
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>>7659304
I tried getting in the robot and got out unconsciously and when I realized I had gotten out I got back in but felt absolutely none of the exhiliration I felt when I made what I thought was a progressive choice to get in the first time. From this you have to draw the conclusion that getting in the robot, while it appeared to be a step in the right direction, a step away from sitting around doing nothing but indulging in empty entertainment and escape, was just another form of entertainment and escape, and that I didn't actually care about it, and that I didn't actually learn anything about myself while in the robot except that I was piloting it as yet another way to dodge my true problem which is that I am not meant for anything more than a banal existence
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You actually don't get to quit. I don't really care how bad you feel. Unless you suicide (you won't) you have no choice but to keep rowing. Now pick up a goddamn book and make sure it's one you actually want to read.
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>>7659309
I don't understand how I'm being a tryhard but you're probably right in calling me one.

Anyway what you don't seem to understand is I've already tried all that. I've tried not questioning things and just experiencing them and I've tried radically doubting things and getting beneath them. Both routes ended up here, with me spilling my guts and acting like a cunt on a fucking anime imageboard to a bunch of people out of desperation even though I know that none of you can actually do anything, so I'm sorry for wasting so much of you people's time. The point is that to "escape" is to not escape but to simply submit to what I am, what's apparently in my DNA, which is to just give up and do what others tell me to do and shut up and take it because I don't have any alternatives and I don't have any contributions and I don't have anything worth anything to say or express that anybody wants to hear.
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>>7659280
i like debord's society of the spactacle but that is literally a DUDE WEED LMAO -tier analysis. every 16 year old knows this

the real question is what are we going to do about it and the answer is nothing, because what he described is the only way we have ever lived and ever can live. the logical conclusion is of course antinatalism but that is and will always be taboo, so on goes the endless conga line of bullshit in service of procreation for procreation's sake
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>>7659329
should've been for
>>7659297
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>>7659263
>Being worthless is kind of like being a homosexual. You don't choose it at all you just suddenly realize it one day and then can't deny that it's a fact afterwords, and that it's always been a fact.
formed in early childhood isn't always

> but I can't help it.
yes you can, knowledge gets infused into your psyche, which in turn feeds it into your consciousness as per need. everybody, minus retards proper, can attain knowledge through effort.
Point being, that it is possible for you, and for one reason or another which you won't admit (or realize) this is not desirable for you. Which is fair if you don't want to learn and read book or whatever, but saying it's impossible is just in bad faith to yourself, and believe it or not, you know it.
besides reading can be fun, there are books that entertain even without huge amounts of knowledge or intellectual capacity.

Despite what i've said above, I'd advice you, seriously, to get into music or something (make or listen), that will fill you up.
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>>7659315
>I tried getting in the robot and got out unconsciously and when I realized I had gotten out I got back in but felt absolutely none of the exhiliration I felt when I made what I thought was a progressive choice to get in the first time. From this you have to draw the conclusion that getting in the robot, while it appeared to be a step in the right direction, a step away from sitting around doing nothing but indulging in empty entertainment and escape, was just another form of entertainment and escape, and that I didn't actually care about it, and that I didn't actually learn anything about myself while in the robot except that I was piloting it as yet another way to dodge my true problem which is that I am not meant for anything more than a banal existence
:^)
(^:
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>>7659341
>Despite what i've said above, I'd advice you, seriously, to get into music or something (make or listen), that will fill you up.

It'd just end up the same way. It doesn't matter. Every time I try to get out of what I am I just end up back at what I am. I'll never know anything or say anything worth hearing. I should have been aborted, but I wasn't, and I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself for now, so I'll just get a terrible job I hate and pretend i like it and self medicate with alcohol and opiates and whatever else just like everyone else does. I'm no better than the majority of people, I'm just another pleb, and it's taken me all this time to realize it. Besides, you people who actually care about this stuff don't need people like me fucking things up for you.
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>>7659329
I wasn't trying to give an explanation as to how we're going to get out of it..
I was just explaining what it meant. Control your aggression.
>antinatalism
Yeah let's not jump that far ahead lol. This isn't about there being too many people. It's about there being too many people buying into the spectacle and wanting to keep buying shit until there is nothing left to buy. There really is no solution. If the spectacle was to be destroyed something else would replace it just as the spectacle replaced ancient ideologies like religion and what not. The best solution is to go into the woods and get the fuck out of this circle of consumerism. But by going into the woods and taking up the life of a hermit, the life of a hermit becomes a commodity in it's own right
So hey who knows.
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>>7659354
Different anon but I suggest doing the exact opposite of whatever you're doing now. You need a different routine; Even if for only a little bit.
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>>7659263
You sound like you should read Pessoa. Not to help you in any sense but to find solace in a kindred spirit.
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>>7659327
You're a tryhard in the sense that you're forcing yourself to do something you don't even want to do. What are you even trying to do? Aspire to some idea of 'le perfect man'? You conspire against yourself in this unprofitable drudgery. In trying to climb up, you instead climb down, into a miserable canyon where you see only darkness. And in this darkness you look for any foothold of certainty -- any. And you find it. And it's anime.

But then you realize, that in your quests for self-delusion there is one thing you cannot stump. And then you realize something. The walls you must put up from which you can survey the outside and truly re-create the destiny which you lost so long ago... the time to elect comes around and you cast your ballot in your one fire which has kindled the many candles, the blazing hope to make America great again. And he helps you. He makes the wall. No more fearing what you have to say. And then he cleanses you -- he bans anime, that one devil that is killing our youth and taking them away from themselves into questions regarding the nature of Madara Uchiha and what retarded thing Kubos doing next. No more GUNPLA for you, kid, and you'll like it.
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>>7659177
>>tfw you realize you're just a stupid person who tried to be smart in order to forget that the only fate for people such as yourself is to either be a lonesome NEET who sucks the blood of society at large, will succumb to his depression, and eventually stick a gun in his mouth or to be a wage slave who makes money for other people just so that they can have enough to go to the bar and get hammered and have casual sex with women just as indifferent to your personality and character as you are to their's

you might as well just shoot me
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>op doesn't realize life is a book and by denying books he's only denying a small part of life and literature
op you are programmed to learn in everything you do, trying to avoid it is not only pointless but impossible.
In reading or the only difference is a conscious will for better life.
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>>7659361
>This isn't about there being too many people

i never said there is too many people, I'm not making an environmentalist argument. i said that there should be no people. all of the existential anguish and wailing and gnashing of teeth comes from realizing that eventually none of the things that are supposed to distract us until we procreate and then fall over really end up providing lasting, meaningful satisfaction

lacan called talked about this with faggy jumped up continental "le lack" shit but the basic idea is correct. the system isn't set up for you to find meaning, it's set up for you to become distracted and entertained by bullshit long enough to pass on your genes and that's it. you are a life support system for your germplasm

the only truly authentic act left to do is to deny the cards you were dealt (because you didn't truly pick them) and deny the universe access to your genetic materia. but justifications and rationalizations for natalism abound, which makes sense because if everyone were on board with antinatalism we wouldn't be here discussing it would we
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actually after reading this thread I can unironically say you need jesus tbqh

you don't seem cut out to carve meaning otherwise
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L S D
S
D
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Don't give up OP, just be yourself. Life is a novel; make sure yours is a bestseller. (^:

~John "Cheerios" Green
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>>7659382
>be me
>NEET
>spend time frogposting on 4chan
>go on holiday to beautiful beach
>drop acid
>decide to meet new people
>head to pub
>nobody wants to talk to me
>everyone busy yelling at bouncer who is telling them they are cut off for screaming too much about stupid bullshit nobody cares about
>no actual conversation taking place just people looking for meaningless sex
>guy comes over and talks to me
>asks me to come to another pub to look for hot drunk sluts
>spends short walk over there talking about his history of depression and constant suicidal ideation and how he wants to help me
>talks about his desperate search for meaning and a sense of self worth in life
>talks about relay for cure type shit where he went on a 1000km fun run
>motivational coach
>this guy is literally clawing at his face on the inside trying to make the pain stop
>i realize that I am doing so much better than him
>I feel good about being a NEET
do I want to have random hookups? yes. do I want to spend every waking moment of my life working for that? no.
I'm just not so constantly obsessed with my lack of meaning in and of itself in my life and more obsessed with finding meaning and frogposting which brings me joy. one rare pepe gives me more joy than unloading all over a sluts cervix. follow your happiness anon. follow your happiness.
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Who cares? Only ever do what you like for fucks sake, we don't need to hear about your identity crisis and you wouldn't be having one if you weren't so insecure.
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>>7659388
>only truly authentic act.... deny the universe access to your genetic materia

No. Not authentic. But advisable.
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>>7659402
unoriginal snark/10

be more authentic
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>>7659406
you're just testy. go eat some fucking ice cream. warm a watermelon and give it a good dicking. get back to us when you're ready to meme again.
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>>7659388
>all of the existential anguish and wailing and gnashing of teeth comes from realizing that eventually none of the things that are supposed to distract us until we procreate and then fall over really end up providing lasting, meaningful satisfaction
You get anguish from that? C'mon dude. Aside from basic survival anguish, which mind you, nobody really gets, but homeless people etc., in first world countries, the only anguish people get is from an inability to fill their being with activity (read Hegel, Heidegger, Sartre), basically, yes there is a despondency derived from the futility of it all, but we are not programmed to care much for it, the 'now' and very near future is where anguish resides, go take drugs, play sports or have sex and see how little you care about silly things like the inherent meaninglessness of it all, apt too since you want to reject any sustainable effort (which are fundamentally a tedious repetition of affirmations anyway). Get fucked, get fucked up, dissolve into the world. but really stop bitching about things you just don't understand.
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>>7659177
OP are you still here or have you given up?
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>>7659417
>tells me to engage in the meaningless distraction mechanisms i literally just outlined
>tells me i don't understand anything when your post is a pseudo-intellectual wordy version of YOLO
>"read Hegel and Sartre"
>Hegel
>Sartre
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>>7659177
like every person here ?
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>>7659431
Okay but you're the one that sounds like a prepubescent fag that just discovered the word 'anguish'. And if you don't know already, and of coarse you don't, philosophy is actually really fucking basic. But, ya, you're not very smart, this thread and your numerous, cute, little rebelious posts attest to that. Whatever fagmuncher I was just trying to help. Go fuck yourself, suffer in your "existential anguish", lol.
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>>7659354
Sorry, but this post looks like a parody, i hope you dont think you are special in having those thoughts, been there done that etc
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>oh wow very profound op you definitely don't just sound like a depressed idiot, you've got it all figured out now
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>>7659329
>DUDE WEED LMAO analysis
or simply DWL-analysis.
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