Have you ever felt like Holden Caulfield ?
Yesterday I was supposed to go to the movies and the restaurant with friends, but instead I chose to stay in and sleep all day.
I woke up to like 30 missed calls and I decided on a whim to give away half of my stuff to the non-profit down my avenue, mainly books and old clothes, not that I own anything of worth.
Then I booked a megabus and travelled halfway across the country (from Lyon to Strasbourg) for no reason in particular, I visited it's museums and went to the movies and the restaurant by myself, alone.
I feel bored and tired. Books are the only pleasure in my life now.
I don't know why I'm posting this, I'm just really lonely and sad.
You can't properly confront existential despair if you're poor and unintelligent. Rich white people produce the best art because they have the greatest access to intellectual resources, not to mention they are better able to make use of them.
I did the same kinda thing after high school ended and I was lost, depressed kid. I've got a career and wife now and I am truly happy.. but to be honest OP my clearest, best memories are taking the megabus to san francisco and just walking all day around it with only a joint and enough cash for a slice of pizza.
idk why i felt compelled to post this, guesd we've all been there.
>first worlder rich kids bitching
The first world isn't always easy to live in.
The thing is that you should do all that stuff WITHOUT telling people.
Now that you wrote this, all the things you did lost meaning, because you did them just to tell people later. Charity and adventure and many other things in life should be kept for yourself. Maybe you'll do them just to feel better about yourself, but at least you're not going around like "EEEHHH GUYS LOOK HOW SPECIAL I AM".
You're just very immature
yeah basically I just save a shitton on a lot of things
Well I didn't mean to be all like "Look how crazy am I guys I do wacky stuff" and to boast but to genuinely know if some people have shared such moments in the past. For all it matters I could have thrown away my shit, but it felt like it would have been a waste and I hate wasting anything but time.
>You're just very immature
I feel like this is a sentence thrown around by people who care way too much about this spook
Thanks for your post anon, I'm very glad to know it's something that I share with at least a single person. I too have very strong, clear memories of events where I hit an emotional rock bottom, such as death of relatives, or great failures in my life. Ironically they are somehow the "best" memories because they are a guarantee that things can hardly get worse and that the only way now is up. Besides, it also means that rather than nothing, something happens, and lately there has been much more of nothing in my life.
The height thing mostly only applies to online dating because imagine the kind of woman who would actually resort to dating online. As long as you're not a creep, you should easily be able to get some pussy if you put some work into it.
>first worlder rich kids trying to deny themselves a capability to suffer due to racial and economical self-loathing so big it extends to everyone else sharing these qualities with them
It's okay to be sad sometimes, champ. We're human, we're going to feel like shit regardless. It's all about how you deal with it.
They don't kill your dick they do make it very hard to have an orgasm though, almost impossible, and they also reduce your libido by a lot. I could only stand it for 4 months, because in my opinion those side effects severely lowered the quality of my
I read a bit about how short term treatment is becoming popular for depression now and made the decision to quit. It worked out because I had forgotten my medication at home during the Xmas holidays anyway and was already dealing with the withdrawal. I'm doing okay now, though the OCD and anxiety is back I feel more with-it, so to speak. I don't think about suicide much anymore, and experience much less self loathing.
Post graduate depression is pretty common. Same thing happened to me after highschool and I ended up dropping out of university and doing drugs for about 2 years instead of just getting treated. Huge waste of time.
Anyway op, I think everyone can relate to Holden in one way or another. Especially as younger adults. You do seem depressed, being so impulsive, "bored and tired", excessive sleep, are also symptoms as well. Talk to a doc if possible.
Kinda long but, I hope this post is helpful somehow.
>implying you should give a fuck about the art without them in the museum
Paintings are things for Plebs to spend two seconds looking at and feeling contented with being "super patrician xDDD" forever afterward.
No, I actually like it. It (along with architecture) is one that Plebs claim to like but really like onlynon a superficial level imho. Art is good Tbh but is often elevated to a higher plane than where it belongs.
Hang out in Strausbourg, get drunk and go to the cathedral. Only do it if you're a quiet enough drunk not to make an ass of yourself. Stare at the ceilings for a while, and after that, look at the graffiti on the pillars. None of the new shit, but the stuff from people hundreds of years before. Made me feel better when I was there.
So painting deserves to be held in lower regard because some people appreciate it superficially? That means almost any halfway decent book should now be held in lower regard because faggots everywhere will like it because, as you said, it makes them feel "super patrician xDDD."
Anything decent will attract some kind of poser only trying to look smart. Appreciate the art for what it is, and don't let others ruin it for you.
I get what you're saying. It's that I think too much effort is placed on it. Art and architecture are solid places in time. They're good for what they are but really they can only tell so much. Stories of all kinds can convey a vast array of emotion and are much more than a snapshot in time. I don't think art is bad just that stories can be considered to be more complex.
You don't need a post history to understand what he was projecting. He (you?) assumed very specific details about OP's job status, and socioeconomic status.
(For some reason the system thought my post was spam? The fuck?)
That's pretty but I merely meant to imply that literature is more complex.
Art = a picture, a snapshot
Literature = you have to understand the prose, the psychology/ ideas presented, the rhythm (for poetry), the deeper meaning, etc.
Patrician or Pleb is subjective but I think literature is objectively far more complex.
Yes, but painting lends itself to a similar analysis. From a formal perspective, you can analyze an artist's use of line, shape, color, space, texture, light value, emphasis, balance (sense of visual equilibrium in the work, how components of the work are arranged to create a sense of harmony), unity (how similar elements may be used throughout an artwork), variety (the use of different, contrasting elements to provide more visual interest), movement (the way shapes, lines, colors, etc., direct the eye around the composition or interact with one another to suggest motion), proportion (the relative scale of objects, shapes, etc., and what this may imply), rhythm (the path along which the eye is coaxed via the painting to follow a regular or repeating arrangement of motifs), and on, and on.
In terms of meaning, it is precisely this snapshot aspect of a painting that heightens its complexity--a given image can be interpreted, much like a good poem, in a literal infinity of different ways.
Visual Art= you have to understand the technique, the psychology/ideas presented, the deeper meaning, the historical context
For more traditional stuff from the Renaissance to the 19th century, you really need to know the Greeks, and understand what subtle differences in the portrayal of a classical scene could mean etc.
Does anyone else despise how the literary world is steeped in this low-test way of living? And no, I'm 100% serious, so please, no pictures of frogs or fish bait.
How about you do something for the people around you? How about you prepare for the future? Jesus Christ. Go to a serious weight room or your doctor and get some injectable testosterone. I guarantee you'll see everything differently.
the irony is most successful published authors are high test pussy magnets (which is why the female gatekeepers at publishing houses publish them) basically if u wanna get published u better be chad thunderprose...
>have no friends
>have no gf
>have no social media or internet presence
>distanced from family
>work a job I hate
>colleagues think I'm autistic
>boss thinks I'm a fag because I take an hour break (unpaid) during lunch and walk in circles around the area
>rent a small room that smells of damp clothes all the time
>have black garbage bags over the windows because I hate natural light
>wear a bathrobe all the time when not in work
>people I live with don't speak English
>eat bread, biscuits, apples, water and orange juice every day
>had a publisher express interest in a novel I wrote a few years ago but withdrew it because I didn't want to mis-represent myself
>written a shitty novel since which got rejected a bunch of times
>have plans for another but no motivation
>post hoax threads on /lit/ during work each day adopting a character and posting outlandish replies intended to garner replies
>"analysed" my motivations and character so much that I feel like I've hollowed out my will and ambitions
>begin posting something on 4chan and usually just close the tab before finishing
>headaches all the time
>tired all the time
>feel weird pressure on my face a lot of the time
>any hatred or frustration, which at least served as evidence of being alive, now converted into an apathetic sort of acceptance which is probably just defeat
>have so little invested in my "character" or sustained personality that I just consciously perform my life or resort to being a blank, expressionless, mute autist who performs a dull routine without notice
>have a crush on a girl who, if she was ever curious about me, is probably bored by my pose of indifference towards her
>don't want to inflict myself on her and have her be potentially interested at first before finding out what my life is like
>hold my own hand in bed as if I'm holding hands with a girl
>circle my thumb on the back of the other hand as if it's a girl
>rub my foot up and down my calf as if it's a girl
>run my fingers up and down and through my chest hair as if it's a girl doing it
>whisper to myself in a feminine voice and reply in a deep whisper complaining jokingly to "her" that I'm tired and need to sleep
>lie in bed and pretend a qt girl is lying with her face towards mine and smiling at me
>hold up my bathrobe and put it between legs as if it's a girl's leg
>kiss empty air pretending I'm kissing a girl
>lie on my back and hold my arm out and then folded at a ninety degree angle to pretend I'm holding a girl who's lying against me
>imagine meeting her family and having them like me
>eyesight is diminishing in right eye
>hearing is diminishing in right ear
>feel describing myself as depressed would be undermining the definition of depression
>afraid, though not enough to change anything, that I'm just boring, lazy and naive to the notion that things and people won't come to me
>"I feel like shit"
>gets very little natural light and eats mostly sugar and carbs
Honestly I can't even feel bad for you. Your state of mind is quite obviously affected by the health of your body. Not saying you need to lift but at least eat some protein and vegetables for fuck's sake.
You must have very loose stools.
When I moved out I ate toast and fruit the first few days and I ceased to digest properly.
>people I live with don't speak English
That detail is a bit extraneous anon