I just came back from a clinic for suicidal depression, it's

>>7640205
read something fun, like Borges

>>7640205
I don't know that just literature will help you out of this slump. I really like reading short stories when I'm depressed, Just simple stuff, maybe sherlock or something. I feel like you'd be better off with some exercise, and talking to people. the more you stay stuck in your head, the worse it often gets. I've saved my mother a few times from suicide, and it's a tough thing to get through. Find someone who thinks you're important. Read lighthearted and funny literature, like Don Quixote, or even something simple and funny, like Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, if you like that sort of thing. Who cares about being a patrician right now anyway? I sincerely hope you start feeling better. I'm hopeful and confident that if you're seeking help anywhere, that you'll find purpose and meaning in your life, that you'll find self worth, and not always have to rely on others, (though right now, i wouldnt recommend going alone!). Just be safe, and know that some people love you even if they don't know you.

>>7640205
on the vanity of existence schopenhauer

Are you religious?

If not, then it depends on whether you're looking for heavy, or light, literature.

>>7640217
Thanks man, hitting the gym from Monday onward again.

>>7640224
I'm not religious, it doesn't have to be too light.

it takes weeks for the medication to kick in

>>7640231
I was at the clinic for two and a half weeks.

>>7640225
the absolute best of luck and happiness to you.

just remember to cry when you need to cry and laugh when you need to laugh. don't bottle that shit up.

Oh, and one more thing, my mother wasnt the only one who's had suicidal problems, and I've spent my share of months in mental hospitals. I want you to remember something important. Medicine is a tool to help you get better, If you feel yourself getting worse, or your friends and family don't see any difference in your emotion over time (don't rely on yourself to determine whether or not they've been effective in changing your mood, you really often can't tell.) then talk with your doctor. be forward, be open and fight for your happiness and sanity. I just want you to remember that you are the one who will have to reshape your mind and your thoughts and habits, and that medicine can't be expected to do it for you. that's all, no more preaching. I just feel strongly about people who are asking for help. I wonder what would have happened to me or my mother if there wasnt someone out there who gave a shit.

>>7640229
Then I'd recommend the Canterbury Tales,

depression is a spook invented by jewish science, a true aryan doesn't sit around wallowing in self pity, u sir r degenerate as shit

Feeling Good - David Burns

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>>7640205
read bit on the dhamma and try to meditate in watching the breath.


a short video on the jhanas
>[YouTube] What is Jhana? By Ven. Henepola Gunaratana Nayaka Maha Thera(Bhante G) (embed)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Lv0PFLZ12o


>[YouTube] Bhante Gunaratana (1) What is samatha-vipassana? Part 1: samatha (embed)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaFOjJtEd2g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESQOi9djyaA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41NpmB2le3I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=div3NnAIoYU
and all the others videos from this series


>The Jhanas in Theravada Buddhist Meditation by Henepola Gunaratana
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/gunaratana/wheel351.html#ch1.3

>Mindfulness in plain English, Bhante Henepola Gunaratana.
http://www.urbandharma.org/pdf2/Mindfulness%20in%20Plain%20English%20Book%20Preview.pdf


you must understand that all your woes stem from taking seriously your emotions, your pleasures and pains. once you let go a bit of all these, you breath a little and feel a bit better.

>tfw depressed
>get drunk with mates and spontaneously try to kill myself
>friend saves me
>"phew that was close"
>they think it was only an accident
nobody knows this shit. i don't want to go to a clinic or get meds.

Thanks for those that advised. Just for drive on the bike and read a book in a park for awhile. It helped.

>>7640205
You no once you get off your meds your condition is gonna be worse than when u started the meds

>>7640358
[citation needed]

>>7640358
Other than that zorba the Greek was a book that made me feel good about life after reading it

Meditations - Aurelius
Gets recommended here a lot, but it really is a fantastic work.
Helped me out of my depressive slump, the worst time of my life, when just being awake was anxiety and fear.

>>7640378
I have the book lying around, it has helped me somewhat. But I get put of by his dismissal of so much by 'muh gods'.

>>7640302
If he were going to get involved in any of that, Way of the Pilgrim is way better. The idea that Eastern religions came up with that stuff and didn't pirate it all from Christianity, started with Orientalism and the "great wisdom of the East" meme, “mantra” and “japa” (mantra meditation) just meant a regular prayer in Eastern religions until a while after Christians started using constant repetitions. The earliest Buddhist canon, which is the Pali canon, dates from 29 BC and make no mention of mantra meditation. Christian meditation dates back to the OT (Genesis 24:63). Joshua 1:8 says to keep the Law constantly on your lips, to meditate on it day and night. The word translated as “meditate” here, means to mutter or growl quietly. Paul says to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) The earliest extensive written instructions on Christian mantra meditation, were authored by Saint John Cassian, in 420 AD, at the behest of Bishop Castor of Apt. The earliest account of Buddha as we think of him now was written by Buddhaghosa, and dates from around the same time Saint John Cassian was writing (earlier accounts of Buddha are closer to something out of Homer). The Visuddhimagga, Buddhaghosa’s extensive meditation manual, makes no mention of mantras; here meditation is focusing on something (or focusing on precisely nothing), but none of the instruction says anything about use of mantras in meditation. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, from the 4th Century AD, mention mantras, but here they have nothing to do with mediation, they’re invocations used to gain power over things, probably the identical sense to what they were for Brahmin priests. As for Hinduism, their most famous mantra, the Hare Krishna, was not used for constant repetition or meditation until 16th Century AD, when it was popularized by Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.

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>>7640391
Then ignore or skip those parts. You dont have to follow it and think every line is pure gold, because its not. If it helps, think of the parts with god as "providence" or "just the way things worked out". I'd advise you to take another shot at it, anyway.

>>7640235
I hear even that's not enough, that medications for depression can take at least a month to start working.

>>7640376
shut the fuck up dude.

>>7640205
That is a very small piece of cake.

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>>7640205
Try The Magus by Fowles (no it's not fantasy crap) - pretty entertaining book with nice weird plot also not stupidly light.

>>7640435
My meds started working after nearly 8 weeks.

>>7640498
My doctor said the same thing, how well did yours work?

>>7640505
Let's say it kind of works but nothing really spectacular. It's been 4th month now.

>>7640544
But no more existential dread right?

>>7640550
It's definitely better with that. Maybe like 75℅ better

>>7640556
Thanks man, that's motivating.

>>7640217
You're a nice person.

>>7640205
Nietzsche

>>7640493
Yeahhhh!!! Fowles is a beast in the streets of lits heart

>>7640291
This. The only book that had a positive influence on my life

>>7640585
Agreed.

Read Plato, Aristotle, and selected pre-Socratics

>>7640205
If you want to come out of this with any creativity, intelligence, or authenticity intact, then go off the meds and embrace your depression.

>>7640641
Yeah, I tried that and it still lead to depression.

>>7640225
Nice -- what kind of exercise program are you thinking of doing? Don't do that shit where you randomly fuck around with machines like a faggot. Do a real program where you track all of your progress in a note book and/or spreadsheet so you can see your improvement.

If you are going to do strength training (and you should) I'd recommend Greyskull LP. In a few months you'll feel like a beast, and you'll be a shitload stronger than the average faggot on the street, which will do a lot for your self esteem and whatnot.

Also, you should read (and actually take the time to do the exercises in) in Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

And you should watch this every day, lol.
https://youtu.be/buqtdpuZxvk

>>7640641
>tfw spent three years on ativan and an SSRI and feel like I've been permanently dulled even after a year of not taking them

>>7640376
Speak to them my son, for they are lost and have no balls

>>7640663
I have a trainer that sets up a program for me. Just general body conditioning for a couple of months and then I'll go into building more.

>all these edgy 'depression doesn't real' posters

wew

>>7640797
Because chemical imbalances in the brain aren't plausible at all.

>>7640797
Depression is real. It is a product of bein a generally shitty/low quality individual. Work on yourself if you want your symptoms to get better. Everyone has willpower and every one can do away with poisonous loops of thought and patterns which perpetuate itself. Change your routine. Lift some weights. Get some testosterone in you and you will be less of a bitch. Reading wont help.

Inb4

>hrhrhr muh brain chemiculs

>>7640845

Apropos of chemicals, this kind of reductionistic thinking, while true, is unhelpful fundamentally. One cannot change a system from without. That strand of second order evaluation (ie. My feelings are chemicals) is actually very counterproductive and meaningless w regard to human experience.

>>7640845
You some sorta tough guy?

>>7640845
Of course proper exercise, diet, daily schedule and sleep pattern matter a lot in alleviating symptoms, but in cases of severe depression they won't cut it on their own.

OP is silly for thinking reading a book will save him as well, which I agree will do a lot less than getting a proper lifestyle and routine.

>>7640842
>All the body parts can malfunction except for the brain which is magical and just needs a healthy dose of 1950s dad rhetoric

No. He might as well read a book in that case.

>>7640864
Yeah

>>7640663
Lol fit fags slowly starting to invade this board I see.

>>7640845
>You need more testosterone.
>Chemicals aren't the answers.
You truly are a marvel.

Inifinite Jest

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>>7640863
It is is helpful in the sense that people might realise it's not just a matter of 'manning up' and admitting they're broken and need some help, but I agree that it's unhelpful in the 'babby's first nihilistic materialist defeatism' being counter-productive sense.

That is the paradox of dealing with clinical depression I guess, on the medicinal level you have to go reductionist while on the person level you have to actually have to go the folk psychology route and, as Freddy says, "recognize untruth as a condition of life" to reclaim your vitality.

>>7640887

I never sais chemicals arent real and i never said drugs dont work. See my prior post...i just know that such reductionism, when used as a coherent explanation for why youre an ersatz meatpuke, will do nothing to improve you. Change must come from within, ie facing your feelings to eliminate root causes. Whether "The chemicals" are the effect or the cause makes no difference, because that kind of detatched second order evaluation, while true, cannot elicit change. Now Fuck off with you

>>7640900
Meatpile*

>>7640306
do you have anyone you can talk to about these feelings?

>>7640376
wow you're so strong and cool

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Here's a list of for OP:

>>7640915
Thanks anon.

>>7640205
You need a lot of Nietzsche.

>>7640915
This is a trap! These books are very sad and not happy at all!

>>7640915
ahahhahaha

>>7640915
op on pooicide watch

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Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I don't know what you're going through and I don't know if I can do anything to help, but I hope I can at least let you know that I've been there before and, trust me, it gets better. PM me if you need to talk.

Maybe some Calvino, he's quite positive in a negative world and his words are pretty. Our Ancestors is a good collection of 2 short stories and a novel.

>>7641016
>Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
That's like saying 'permanent cure to a temporary illness'. It means it works perfectly well.

>>7641016
How the fuck does one even PM on 4chan. Nice bait.

>>7641016
Thanks. This was helpful. I'll keep looking forward.

>>7641047
Don't you have a 4chan Gold Account?

>>7640376
haha dude you're so stable and masculine and tough I'm really admiring you currently for your quality posting

>>7641016
These sort of sarcastic posts are actually good.

Honestly, if you're suicidal, realize the existence of people who wouldn't care less about you as much as you realize the existence of people who do.

Then overcome both of the above.

A little thought experiment in eternal recurrence always helps me.

If you were dooming a future version of yourself to, after the universe restarts, live the same way as you live now, would you go on with the same day-to-day habbits you practice already?

>>7640900
I work out all the time and I'm still horribly depressed, I could DL four plates when I first started getting depressed, shut the fuck up and kill yourself you worthless tripfag
>>7641016
Nice

>>7641102
Same thing applies to>>7640376

>>7640217
not OP, but you are a really good person.thought you should know.
Also, even though I would never have thought of him in such an occasion, yes Douglas Adams is probably a very good antidote for given shit. I've recently read the non-fiction one that is something like a diary about his travels for the BBC. Top laugh. But... it could be depressing sometimes. Everything going to shit and all.

What kind of newfag doesn't have a Gold account? Two more months and I'll have enough logged time to be eligible to be a moderator. Keep your fingers crossed for me guys!

>>7640205
taking long walks helped me a lot. especially after reading short fiction. helps think stuff other than what's in your head.

Thanks for the support /lit/. This is the best board by far.

>>7641119
Eat shit redditfag

>>7641124
Meh, unaffected.

>>7641124
>if I act edgy I'll fit in
Go back to /v/ kid.

>>7641124
you'll get to the same spot too. just wait and see.
Oh, that's a curse.

>>7641132
Fat chance. I'm furiously masturbating to hardcore pornography that flaunts and showcases the most absurd and outlandish scenarios associated with sexual deviance. We're both shortstroking, but at least I'll have a little something to show for my time, assface.

>>7641146
Classy.

>>7641146
so, long story short, you are getting there.

>>7641156
I could get there a little faster if you could describe your pain to me. (Oh fuck yeah, that's it) be as descriptive as possible. I'm working on a real champion one here. Be sure not to leave out any juicy tidbits about the disappointment from your family. That might help me paint the wall with this bad boy

>>7641163
Why is /b/ overflowing?

>>7641163
I'm not OP.And there isn't much to describe. The long road than?

>>7641170
Shut up, you're making it droop. Tell me about your pain. Do it fast. Make up something about desolate mental landscapes brought on by isolation.

>>7641179
I like where this is going

>>7641179
I want you to think of a well adjusted happy individual playing with his kids in the garden as his wife smiles from the kitchen window.

>>7641185
Tell me what the wife is wearing. Does she have pliers? That might help. This taking forever. How am I supposed to type one handed and click the captcha when I can't read the screen? ( bag over the head)

>>7641179
there is this boy. a porky fat boy. down on his parents basement/garage. when he is sort of upbeat, he thinks he has everything sorted out; living in murika, having a bank job and what not. when he is in buzzkill mode, which is more often than not, he mostly masturbates with the most absurd and outlandish scenarios associated with sexual deviance. he calls it shortstroking. and he is proud. some times that is. most of the time he tries really hard to forget that he is going to be buried in that tomb of parental memory garage-land. he feels that the only thing everyone else will have to say about him will be "well, he did manage to fill that garage up to the roof with jizz". that boy is today's desolate mental landscape. and he knows it, even though he hides it in those image boards he trolls around.

>>7640890
It is just a matter of "manning up" though...

>>7640890
Also good seein u goats

Thought youd died of liver disease by now ;)

>>7641219
You know nothing.

>>7641212
Tl;dr. Aaaaaaaand I'm spent. You went on your stale diatribe so I had to switch over to a horse channel to find the courage to finish. Shame on you

>>7641247
sorry. curse still on though.

>>7640884
yeah I heard this was a good place to come discuss my interest in Ayn Rand and Mishima

>>7640778
>Just general body conditioning for a couple of months and then I'll go into building more.
nevermind, you should just kill yourself

>>7641261
I'd rather start slow and build momentum than get injuries. There is nothing wrong with the approach bro, I'm still building muscle.

>>7641255
Too late. Done with fap. I win.

>>7640205
Walden helped me, but it may or may not help you. It helped me get over an existential crisis. It also made me see the beauty of isolation, and because of that I became less fearful of the rejection of others, and therefore became more personable. Then again, everyone takes away what they bring to books.

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>>7641259
there you go

>>7640217
You're a great person, this made me feel nice even though I'm not OP. Also seconding your recommendations of taking it easy and trying to find enjoyment again.

Exercise is also a good idea, but OP, I wouldn't take the /fit/izen's advice below if that'll put you off exercising at all. The best thing is to just convince yourself to do the simplest thing you think you can handle (even just a pushup on your floor) and then go from there so you don't feel a massive burden, and you're rewarded with a sense of progress that doesn't depend on your physical status.

>>7641272
yeah, we've got it. you fap. the curse is still on though. and you can't fap it off.

Excercise and read comfy genre fiction. Fuck all of these snobs

>>7641219
If manning up is shorthand for effectively dealing with your problems head on, yes. If it's just le football coach rhetoric about 'snapping out of it' and other useless platitudes, it isn't. Depressed people are rather immune to that kind of rhetoric in the first place.

>>7641227
Glad to see the roids haven't gotten you yet either, mucker. Are you a proper law school lad yet?

Read Nietzsche and drink lots of coffee

>>7640915
Are all of these actually good? Or was it just compiled to say "look, these are all sad books". I've read No Longer Human, Stoner, and Of Mice and Men.

I just got out of Tucker's, a VA clinic, and I just want to say that, despite the 4chan vibe, I really want you to know that I'm proud of you for not being dead, OP.

As far as literature goes, I'd actually recommend Balzac's "Lost Illusions". Yes, it is sad. Yes, you will weep. But I think sorrow is what is needed to combat emptiness. Too many people will tell you to read Lucky Jim or something funny but what you need, in my flawed opinion, is to experience the depths of emotion. Read Lost Illusions and live your life forever remembering Lucien. It will haunt you when you laugh and you will look inward and say, "Yes, I am alive in the most poignant of ways."

The Trouble With Being Born

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I was on the brink just over a year ago OP, but further into antidepressants meds (with no improvement). I picked up Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, which was technically beautiful, but after a reading I was more hopeless than before because I found it too fantastical. A day later I went in a second time, and it hit me that it was beautiful because it was entirely true. I wasn't "fine" after reading it but it probably caused the greatest maturity shift in my life. Hesse is a genius and Siddhartha is the best description of the real human condition I've ever read.

>>7640306
>nobody knows this shit. i don't want to go to a clinic or get meds.
Don't. Meds are for losers. Seriously. As soon as you get off them, you'll feel x2 as worse as you do now for each day that you've spent on them. You'll instantly kill yourself.
It's like drinking coffee because you don't have energy.
Suicide is an action like any other. If you really desire to take your life, you are free to do so.

>>7641281
Keep going. This is oddly arousing even for someone who isn't a fit fuckboi.

>>7640205
I used to have a lot of issues with anxiety and depression. I started reading a lot of Carl Jung (started with Man and His Symbols, recently finished Undiscovered Self). It made me realize that my issues stemmed from A) suppressing my hatred towards my emotionally abusive brother and B) not accepting that the world is a shitty place and if I didn't embrace it I'd just turn into him. It took me a while to adjust and I'm still adjusting, but I can trace a lot of my progress towards Jung.

>>7641754
I'm not sure if i want to die, but it just seems like a better solution since being alive feels like i'm suffocating inside.
>>7640908
I have you. I can't talk to real people. They might judge me.

>>7641754
Don't listen to this faggot and take good care of yourself, anon.

>>7641706
>ctrl+F "siddhartha"
You have to read this

>>7642099
Yeah, I get that fear of being judged. You don't have to be 100% honest with people about private feelings or being suicidal, but just try talking to people you trust (or relatively close friends) and just try telling them about how you feel. There are more people feeling sad and lost out there than you think, and you might even help someone who feels the same way.

I know it's difficult to get over that fear of being judged, but anyone who would judge you harshly for being truthful about your feelings isn't worth caring about in the first place. It sounds like a cliche but it's true.

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>>7640845
>a product of bein a generally shitty/low quality individual

top kek bro

5-htp and exercise has helped me

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>>7641759
ok?

>>7642099
>real people
>as opposed to you aired out drones that only resemble real people

kek

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>>7645069
how's it hanging stan

last time i heard from you you were still in Macedonia (or Serbia or wherever your roots were), you had plans going to law school and your parents had cut you off from inheriting their stuff; something about banging your cousin, too.

so, what's new with you? any good contemporary analytic philosophy reads you've stumbled upon lately?

>>7644512
yes yes I feel myself growing stronger with ruggedness. Don't stop anon.

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Don't suicide, guys. Not only is it illegal, it's not right.

>>7642831
This. Nootropics can do wonders.

>>7645999
Fuck you and fuck your trips.