I just came back from a clinic for suicidal depression, it's my first day at home and I'm on meds for the first time in years. I still feel exactly the same. What books can you suggest to get over my shit? Have any of you successfully overcome something of this sort through literature? No, I don't think I'm special - I'm just genuinely looking for help. Thanks in advance.
I don't know that just literature will help you out of this slump. I really like reading short stories when I'm depressed, Just simple stuff, maybe sherlock or something. I feel like you'd be better off with some exercise, and talking to people. the more you stay stuck in your head, the worse it often gets. I've saved my mother a few times from suicide, and it's a tough thing to get through. Find someone who thinks you're important. Read lighthearted and funny literature, like Don Quixote, or even something simple and funny, like Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, if you like that sort of thing. Who cares about being a patrician right now anyway? I sincerely hope you start feeling better. I'm hopeful and confident that if you're seeking help anywhere, that you'll find purpose and meaning in your life, that you'll find self worth, and not always have to rely on others, (though right now, i wouldnt recommend going alone!). Just be safe, and know that some people love you even if they don't know you.
Oh, and one more thing, my mother wasnt the only one who's had suicidal problems, and I've spent my share of months in mental hospitals. I want you to remember something important. Medicine is a tool to help you get better, If you feel yourself getting worse, or your friends and family don't see any difference in your emotion over time (don't rely on yourself to determine whether or not they've been effective in changing your mood, you really often can't tell.) then talk with your doctor. be forward, be open and fight for your happiness and sanity. I just want you to remember that you are the one who will have to reshape your mind and your thoughts and habits, and that medicine can't be expected to do it for you. that's all, no more preaching. I just feel strongly about people who are asking for help. I wonder what would have happened to me or my mother if there wasnt someone out there who gave a shit.
read bit on the dhamma and try to meditate in watching the breath.
a short video on the jhanas
>[YouTube] What is Jhana? By Ven. Henepola Gunaratana Nayaka Maha Thera(Bhante G) (embed)
>[YouTube] Bhante Gunaratana (1) What is samatha-vipassana? Part 1: samatha (embed)
and all the others videos from this series
>The Jhanas in Theravada Buddhist Meditation by Henepola Gunaratana
>Mindfulness in plain English, Bhante Henepola Gunaratana.
you must understand that all your woes stem from taking seriously your emotions, your pleasures and pains. once you let go a bit of all these, you breath a little and feel a bit better.
>get drunk with mates and spontaneously try to kill myself
>friend saves me
>"phew that was close"
>they think it was only an accident
nobody knows this shit. i don't want to go to a clinic or get meds.
Meditations - Aurelius
Gets recommended here a lot, but it really is a fantastic work.
Helped me out of my depressive slump, the worst time of my life, when just being awake was anxiety and fear.
If he were going to get involved in any of that, Way of the Pilgrim is way better. The idea that Eastern religions came up with that stuff and didn't pirate it all from Christianity, started with Orientalism and the "great wisdom of the East" meme, “mantra” and “japa” (mantra meditation) just meant a regular prayer in Eastern religions until a while after Christians started using constant repetitions. The earliest Buddhist canon, which is the Pali canon, dates from 29 BC and make no mention of mantra meditation. Christian meditation dates back to the OT (Genesis 24:63). Joshua 1:8 says to keep the Law constantly on your lips, to meditate on it day and night. The word translated as “meditate” here, means to mutter or growl quietly. Paul says to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) The earliest extensive written instructions on Christian mantra meditation, were authored by Saint John Cassian, in 420 AD, at the behest of Bishop Castor of Apt. The earliest account of Buddha as we think of him now was written by Buddhaghosa, and dates from around the same time Saint John Cassian was writing (earlier accounts of Buddha are closer to something out of Homer). The Visuddhimagga, Buddhaghosa’s extensive meditation manual, makes no mention of mantras; here meditation is focusing on something (or focusing on precisely nothing), but none of the instruction says anything about use of mantras in meditation. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, from the 4th Century AD, mention mantras, but here they have nothing to do with mediation, they’re invocations used to gain power over things, probably the identical sense to what they were for Brahmin priests. As for Hinduism, their most famous mantra, the Hare Krishna, was not used for constant repetition or meditation until 16th Century AD, when it was popularized by Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.
Then ignore or skip those parts. You dont have to follow it and think every line is pure gold, because its not. If it helps, think of the parts with god as "providence" or "just the way things worked out". I'd advise you to take another shot at it, anyway.
Try The Magus by Fowles (no it's not fantasy crap) - pretty entertaining book with nice weird plot also not stupidly light.
Nice -- what kind of exercise program are you thinking of doing? Don't do that shit where you randomly fuck around with machines like a faggot. Do a real program where you track all of your progress in a note book and/or spreadsheet so you can see your improvement.
If you are going to do strength training (and you should) I'd recommend Greyskull LP. In a few months you'll feel like a beast, and you'll be a shitload stronger than the average faggot on the street, which will do a lot for your self esteem and whatnot.
Also, you should read (and actually take the time to do the exercises in) in Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
And you should watch this every day, lol.
Depression is real. It is a product of bein a generally shitty/low quality individual. Work on yourself if you want your symptoms to get better. Everyone has willpower and every one can do away with poisonous loops of thought and patterns which perpetuate itself. Change your routine. Lift some weights. Get some testosterone in you and you will be less of a bitch. Reading wont help.
>hrhrhr muh brain chemiculs
Apropos of chemicals, this kind of reductionistic thinking, while true, is unhelpful fundamentally. One cannot change a system from without. That strand of second order evaluation (ie. My feelings are chemicals) is actually very counterproductive and meaningless w regard to human experience.
Of course proper exercise, diet, daily schedule and sleep pattern matter a lot in alleviating symptoms, but in cases of severe depression they won't cut it on their own.
OP is silly for thinking reading a book will save him as well, which I agree will do a lot less than getting a proper lifestyle and routine.
>All the body parts can malfunction except for the brain which is magical and just needs a healthy dose of 1950s dad rhetoric
No. He might as well read a book in that case.
It is is helpful in the sense that people might realise it's not just a matter of 'manning up' and admitting they're broken and need some help, but I agree that it's unhelpful in the 'babby's first nihilistic materialist defeatism' being counter-productive sense.
That is the paradox of dealing with clinical depression I guess, on the medicinal level you have to go reductionist while on the person level you have to actually have to go the folk psychology route and, as Freddy says, "recognize untruth as a condition of life" to reclaim your vitality.
I never sais chemicals arent real and i never said drugs dont work. See my prior post...i just know that such reductionism, when used as a coherent explanation for why youre an ersatz meatpuke, will do nothing to improve you. Change must come from within, ie facing your feelings to eliminate root causes. Whether "The chemicals" are the effect or the cause makes no difference, because that kind of detatched second order evaluation, while true, cannot elicit change. Now Fuck off with you
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I don't know what you're going through and I don't know if I can do anything to help, but I hope I can at least let you know that I've been there before and, trust me, it gets better. PM me if you need to talk.
These sort of sarcastic posts are actually good.
Honestly, if you're suicidal, realize the existence of people who wouldn't care less about you as much as you realize the existence of people who do.
Then overcome both of the above.
A little thought experiment in eternal recurrence always helps me.
If you were dooming a future version of yourself to, after the universe restarts, live the same way as you live now, would you go on with the same day-to-day habbits you practice already?
not OP, but you are a really good person.thought you should know.
Also, even though I would never have thought of him in such an occasion, yes Douglas Adams is probably a very good antidote for given shit. I've recently read the non-fiction one that is something like a diary about his travels for the BBC. Top laugh. But... it could be depressing sometimes. Everything going to shit and all.
Fat chance. I'm furiously masturbating to hardcore pornography that flaunts and showcases the most absurd and outlandish scenarios associated with sexual deviance. We're both shortstroking, but at least I'll have a little something to show for my time, assface.
I could get there a little faster if you could describe your pain to me. (Oh fuck yeah, that's it) be as descriptive as possible. I'm working on a real champion one here. Be sure not to leave out any juicy tidbits about the disappointment from your family. That might help me paint the wall with this bad boy
Tell me what the wife is wearing. Does she have pliers? That might help. This taking forever. How am I supposed to type one handed and click the captcha when I can't read the screen? ( bag over the head)
there is this boy. a porky fat boy. down on his parents basement/garage. when he is sort of upbeat, he thinks he has everything sorted out; living in murika, having a bank job and what not. when he is in buzzkill mode, which is more often than not, he mostly masturbates with the most absurd and outlandish scenarios associated with sexual deviance. he calls it shortstroking. and he is proud. some times that is. most of the time he tries really hard to forget that he is going to be buried in that tomb of parental memory garage-land. he feels that the only thing everyone else will have to say about him will be "well, he did manage to fill that garage up to the roof with jizz". that boy is today's desolate mental landscape. and he knows it, even though he hides it in those image boards he trolls around.
Walden helped me, but it may or may not help you. It helped me get over an existential crisis. It also made me see the beauty of isolation, and because of that I became less fearful of the rejection of others, and therefore became more personable. Then again, everyone takes away what they bring to books.
You're a great person, this made me feel nice even though I'm not OP. Also seconding your recommendations of taking it easy and trying to find enjoyment again.
Exercise is also a good idea, but OP, I wouldn't take the /fit/izen's advice below if that'll put you off exercising at all. The best thing is to just convince yourself to do the simplest thing you think you can handle (even just a pushup on your floor) and then go from there so you don't feel a massive burden, and you're rewarded with a sense of progress that doesn't depend on your physical status.
If manning up is shorthand for effectively dealing with your problems head on, yes. If it's just le football coach rhetoric about 'snapping out of it' and other useless platitudes, it isn't. Depressed people are rather immune to that kind of rhetoric in the first place.
Glad to see the roids haven't gotten you yet either, mucker. Are you a proper law school lad yet?
I just got out of Tucker's, a VA clinic, and I just want to say that, despite the 4chan vibe, I really want you to know that I'm proud of you for not being dead, OP.
As far as literature goes, I'd actually recommend Balzac's "Lost Illusions". Yes, it is sad. Yes, you will weep. But I think sorrow is what is needed to combat emptiness. Too many people will tell you to read Lucky Jim or something funny but what you need, in my flawed opinion, is to experience the depths of emotion. Read Lost Illusions and live your life forever remembering Lucien. It will haunt you when you laugh and you will look inward and say, "Yes, I am alive in the most poignant of ways."
I was on the brink just over a year ago OP, but further into antidepressants meds (with no improvement). I picked up Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, which was technically beautiful, but after a reading I was more hopeless than before because I found it too fantastical. A day later I went in a second time, and it hit me that it was beautiful because it was entirely true. I wasn't "fine" after reading it but it probably caused the greatest maturity shift in my life. Hesse is a genius and Siddhartha is the best description of the real human condition I've ever read.
>nobody knows this shit. i don't want to go to a clinic or get meds.
Don't. Meds are for losers. Seriously. As soon as you get off them, you'll feel x2 as worse as you do now for each day that you've spent on them. You'll instantly kill yourself.
It's like drinking coffee because you don't have energy.
Suicide is an action like any other. If you really desire to take your life, you are free to do so.
I used to have a lot of issues with anxiety and depression. I started reading a lot of Carl Jung (started with Man and His Symbols, recently finished Undiscovered Self). It made me realize that my issues stemmed from A) suppressing my hatred towards my emotionally abusive brother and B) not accepting that the world is a shitty place and if I didn't embrace it I'd just turn into him. It took me a while to adjust and I'm still adjusting, but I can trace a lot of my progress towards Jung.
Yeah, I get that fear of being judged. You don't have to be 100% honest with people about private feelings or being suicidal, but just try talking to people you trust (or relatively close friends) and just try telling them about how you feel. There are more people feeling sad and lost out there than you think, and you might even help someone who feels the same way.
I know it's difficult to get over that fear of being judged, but anyone who would judge you harshly for being truthful about your feelings isn't worth caring about in the first place. It sounds like a cliche but it's true.
>a product of bein a generally shitty/low quality individual
top kek bro
how's it hanging stan
last time i heard from you you were still in Macedonia (or Serbia or wherever your roots were), you had plans going to law school and your parents had cut you off from inheriting their stuff; something about banging your cousin, too.
so, what's new with you? any good contemporary analytic philosophy reads you've stumbled upon lately?
Don't suicide, guys. Not only is it illegal, it's not right.