>>7632574 The feeling of creating something that you can actually adore and love is amazing beyond any other. I wouldn't replace it for anything desu, but then again, I don't have it at my own health's expense
I want desperately to give back to a world that has given me so much, despite great struggle from birth (brachioplexus palsy). However, I feel unequal to the task, and fear that I will die without making a positive mark on anyone.
Today I met a member of the Chinese Communist Party for coffee. I don't know if she's interested in me and I don't know if I want her to be, because I'm in a relationship already. But something about being romantically involved with a capital-c Communist seems irresistible.
>>7632587 You won't, and even if you did, it wouldn't matter. You're going to die and be forgotten. If you managed to leave a positive mark on somebody, they too would die and be forgotten (after forgetting you). There's nothing you can do about this. You will probably never be loved, but take some solace in the fact that most other people won't also.
>>7632587 The world doesn't give a heck about your contribution, Anon. You have to take it and slam it into its face until it has no other choice. This is how you leave your mark, not by being desperate to give it to them.
>>7633312 Honestly cheating is only bad if it irrevocably erodes your affection for the first partner or if they find out. If you're a good liar then you can do it without harming your first lover, though I would say given that our culture insists on monogamy it shows something of a weakness in the relationship. Sadly you can't control how much people like you, but you also can't summon up affection for them which isn't there to guide your actions, you have to act in relation to your real amount of emotion or else you'll overtax yourself and it will break down anyway.
>>7633344 We're way past the point of shame here. >>7633373 This is good advice, and I'll try to take it. I have no doubts about my affection for my first partner, I'm just aware that lonely and abroad I tend to do stupid things like this. It wouldn't be the first time.
Hahahahaha asshole! You said you wouldn't give me a dream interpretation because it was dangerous to humor a psychotic, but in the course of explaining why you wouldn't provide one, you provided one perfectly! Now I know that the Enaree and Kiyo are one in the same, and consequently that if I drink the blood of three dragons I will become a dragon myself. Our magic grows in strength! You cannot stop us!
It's also really annoying not having internet at my house. Fucking construction workers managed to cut the cable while digging and it's been out for the past three days and probably will be for the next, since the fucking cable company missed their appointment yesterday. I get all my work done at home because I can't handle the noise at school (or find a place to sit half the time), and I have like 8 assignments due on the 2nd. Some serious bullshit. I will probably use mental illness as an excuse to get an extension from some of my professors.
Tired Tired Tired Tired I swear I've never felt like this Hand on heart, hand on book As this a part of my biography One of the micro-hallucinations The end me waking in panic Oh shit! I'm late. I'm late I enjoyed this too much But only a minute has past And instantly I am tired Tired Tired
Women. The more I socialize with them, the more I realize that Schopenhauer was absolutely right. There's only one thing - I cannot bring myself to despise them, like Arthur recommends. Why? Because a drunk girl is the most vulnerable thing in the observable universe. I can pity them, but I could never, never, ever bring myself to go and put them in their place.
>>7634199 Schopenhauer didn't say all women were bad. In fact, there was one woman in particular, Elisabet Ney, the painter of his portrait, who he admired. He said, "I have not yet spoken my last word about women. I believe that if a woman succeeds in withdrawing from the mass, or rather raising herself above the mass, she grows ceaselessly and more than a man."
That's beautiful. I feel something similar - I've once read that only women understand women and they hate each other, but every friendship between women I've experienced so far was as solid as a Sequoia.
>>7634199 >tfw I hate women pathologically to the point that their even existing is a philosophical problem to me >tfw also super into femdom >tfw writing weird drug-fueled shit about the primeval dionysian of woman that is half loathing half dentata-terror and half holy shit i want that on my face ASAP
Today marks the 30th Anniversary of the Challenger disaster. 30 years ago, we lost seven of our most star-struck men and women in a tragic accident mid flight. Our duty as rational, thinking creatures, is to remember this day so that we can remind ourselves of the opposition which we face in the attainment of our most noble goal: The search for knowledge.
What the Challenger disaster means to me is a milestone in human achievement. Ronald Reagan, in his speech to a grieving nation, posited that “We’ve grown used wonders in this century. It’s hard to dazzle us”. We’ve grown used to the idea that space exists, it will always be there, waiting for us to climb into it’s lofty heights. Space is infinite, while we are mortal creatures, men of flesh and blood. Space will be always above us, even when we’re gone. Our pride points us to the moon, and says “Look, can’t you see the footsteps? Hasn’t our greatness been captured forever?” I say no, it hasn’t. Our first steps toward greatness are planted on the lunar surface, but these, are stumbling first steps, and only the beginning of a yet undeparted journey.
We ought to mourn the crew for their sacrifice. In one terrible moment, they were made martyrs to the whole human race. There will still be more astronauts, volunteers and people to fly to the stars, but for the Challenger Seven, their service to this country, to mankind, is over.
If the weight of this tragedy doesn’t fill you and simultaneously leave you empty, then you are dead.
>>7634510 I'm very sorry you're so upset. I just think that scientific disasters are the worst because I have such immense respect for the notion of their work. To me it's some of the most important work being done. But that's just what I think
>Jesus if that's whats on your mind, you must be real fun at intellectual gatherings. What a fucking waste of neurons, to care about an event that had little to significant impact on the universe, galaxy,s olar system, planet, or history in fucking general as we know it as, radiates anthropocentrism. What garbage, what absolute fucking garbage. Commit Sudoku.
>>7634455 Jesus if that's whats on your mind, you must be real fun at intellectual gatherings. What a fucking waste of neurons, to care about an event that has little to no significant impact on the universe, galaxies, solar system, planets, or history in fucking general as we know it/experience it. What garbage, what absolute fucking anthropocentric garbage. Commit Sudoku.
>>7632568 Everyone always says this about every message board ever made, but the fact that we can pinpoint it to around December...when Reddit became aware of our top 100 list and hypersphere is pretty hilarious.
literal contradiction, if you're cheating then you don't love your partner anymore and staying with them will just hurt you and them more as the relationship slowly deteriorates. If you want to be with the communist, break up with your gf now, before even going on a first date with the other girl.
>>7635121 An update on the situation - last night me and my partner had a horrendous two-hour argument owing to her severe depression. She's extremely unhappy living apart from me and nothing I can do or say seems to help. I really don't know what to do except to make things worse.
I went through yet another day of not pursuing any of my dreams. I feel so empty. Writing, reading, and other things use to be fun and brought happiness but now I feel nothing from them. It makes me miserable. I find myself in this rut too many times. What will it take to never feel this way again?
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the post's information.