The Lord of the Rings:
>dark ale or mead (LOTS)
>served in giant drinking horn won from an aurochs
>sing with your brothers the whole time
>repeat til blackout
pub near me makes a killing from this gimmick
For some reason nearly all places that do cocktails seem to make them all fruity. Only the more 'serious' cocktail places go for the not-so immediately tasty things(usually with 50 kinds of muh gin tonic). I think it's because women love fruity cocktails, and men will just drink something else anyway.
>my upcoming novel
You go to the hairdresser's and ask for a hairdo. He gives you an empty glass and start shampooing your head and every few minutes you get up and switch places until there's foam everywhere and you're both exhausted and well shampooed
Then you wank off the hairdresser into the glass, mix it into blue paint and cover yourself and the hairdresser with it. You make a comedy show with the hairdresser as the blue man group 2, go on a tour. The actual drink is a beer drunk late at night after the show.
>2 ounce Canadian whisky
>5 ounce Canada Dry Ginger Ale
>2 ounce Molson
>1 (really small) drop of dark maple syrup
Served on the rocks with a lit cigarette on a silver platter, a copy of the Bible, and regret.