>>7618710 can actually attest to this. hardcore literature requires too much work to be pure leisure. watch cowboy bebop, samurai champloo, evangelion, fullmetal alchemist, then read japanese literature, and you'll feel significantly better. trust me, it's a lovely transition into accepting the world as a beautifully flawed place. good luck, and enjoy.
>>7618539 >>7618539 >>7618539 escapism is the last thing you need. it'll make you feel better, but so would drugs and alcohol. I'd recommend turning back from that rabbit hole. If you give the particulars about your situation I'm sure I or some other anon can recommend you some literature to help you out.
>>7618761 Not OP but in very similar situation, I guess the particulars are that I used to be one of the most popular kids at school, I am at gymnasium meaning I am 20 years old and so are my class mates. I know saying you´re popular makes you sound very ridiculious and thinking about popularity at 20 years of age is just stupid but I´m just trying to make you understand my feels. In a way I am still one of the most popular kids but I´ve always cared about the little guy and tried to make sure everyone fits in and no one feels left out but recently I just feel so alone, I feel like a total outsider and at school I almost feel like I am watching myself from a 3rd person perspective and it just feels so surreal. All conversations anyone has at school are so shallow and I just can´t see the point of it anymore.
Please recommend something that makes me feel like I belong or helps me get there.
I come from the opposite, I've been an outsider from as long as I can remember and despite this, I wanted to be liked and I wanted to be included in what other people were doing. But at once, I realised that the kind of benefits I expected from being included, both friendship and fun, were unattainable with most people. When you realise that you're kind of fucked. Since then I've strayed alone and having been lonely for most of my youth, it doesn't feel so bad, you get used to it. Through there is always a sadness.
>>7619361 To add to that, Les Miserables of Victor Hugo have been a great reconfort to me some years ago. In it you'll find bad, societal bad and profund goodness and beauty. Cant recommend a traduction though
>>7619374 Yeah I understand you completely, but the truth is I am still included in a lot of things, most things actually but I still just feel so alone even though I am not really. Even when I´m surrounded by many friends and recently at parties aswell where I know most people and can talk to everyone I still just feel so alone, always so alone.
>>7619386 Tbh with you, if I had the hability and the will I'd go do some erasmus or some shit. You know, meeting new people, having tense experiences. But since you're looking for books, like I said, French novels can be pretty comfy, but I'm read the Sea of Fertility right now it also brings comfort to me.
>>7619361 >>7619386 To add even further so you perhaps will really comprehend my difficulties, I am often sitting around with friends and I feel like I can´t talk about things that really matter to me because I feel like I don´t belong and that no one understands the real me and that I have to pretend to be this superficial guy laughing at stuff talking about stuff that happened at a party or downtown etc just so that the others don´t see the real me.
But lately it´s been such an overwhelming sadness that I can barely hide it.
>tfw hold my own hand in bed as if I'm holding hands with a girl >tfw circle my thumb on the back of the other hand as if it's a girl >tfw rub my foot up and down my calf as if it's a girl >tfw run my fingers up and down and through my chest hair as if it's a girl doing it >tfw whisper to myself in a feminine voice and reply in a deep whisper complaining jokingly to "her" that I'm tired and need to sleep >tfw lie in bed and pretend a qt girl is lying with her face towards mine and smiling at me >tfw fold up my bathrobe and put it between legs as if it's a girl's leg >tfw kiss empty air pretending I'm kissing a girl >tfw lie on my back and hold my arm out and then folded at a ninety degree angle to pretend I'm holding a girl who's lying against me >tfw go through each board on 4chan pretending I'm giving a tour to my girlfriend and giving her a humorous little summary about each one >tfw watching home videos on my laptop of my family and me as a kid and pretending a qt girl is sitting beside me saying "awww" and smiling and asking who the different people are >tfw walking home alone and pretending she's walking beside me and think up lengthy dialogue and occasionally laugh at something she or I said in the imagined dialogue >tfw imagine meeting her family and having them like me >tfw imagine her meeting my family and us sleeping and talking quietly in my room at home >tfw imagine her and my mom preparing coffee after dinner and watching her laugh at something my mom says >tfw imagine making her mom laugh and making her father a little annoyed when she and her mother tell him that he's probably boring me and that I probably want to get to bed after the long journey >tfw developing several lengthy scenarios involving me and my qt crush and replaying them mentally each night while adding minor details and more dialogue and extending them a little bit more each day
>>7620393 me too. except i don't build on it as i see that, or it, by itself as essentially a waste of time. not like in my childhood where i went crazy. i try to keep mine more or less at least somewhat related-- or just not as detached -- to reality.
Can conform this really works.
If you want books OP read some metaphysics, the most unpractical kind.
>>7619418 it sounds like your dealing with a bout of depression, that feeling of disassociation you talk about is a pretty telling sign. That being the case your best bet would be to go get yourself some therapy. Though I understand being sketchy on it. If you do go remember it only works if you genuinely give it a shot no half-assing it. Some book recommendations that you may find useful. Check out the Stoics they'll help you find some measure of peace despite the feeling of alienation and the general crumminess you're feeling. They won't necessarily make you feel better but they'll stop you entering that destructive cycle of feeling bad because you feel bad. For fiction, you might benefit from stuff like The Stranger, where you can kind of emphasise with the main character. Or you might prefer something more life affirming. Honestly, it depends on where you are at.
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