Are there any good books on how to not write like a retard?
Let me explain. I have trouble expressing my thoughts in a succint and eloquent manner. I own and study from books on prose, and study how my favorite authors write, but I havr trouble even expressing myself in a decent way during my day to day life. I'll often read something that someone else wrote and marvel at how much simpler their wording is, and how it gets the idea across easier.
I own Strunk and White, Sin and Syntax, books on Shakespeare's writing, etx, but none of them target the specific problem I have: simplifying my language to get what I want to say out easily without sound convoluted or like an idiot.
You don't need to read a book about writing.
First just let the ideas come out as 'retard' and 'loose' as possible, just throw them all out there without any consideration for the reader, merely just to try and get as much of the idea out as possible.
Then, edit the hell out of it.
This. I think the problem is that we view books as spontaneous products of an author's genius, when in reality they've been carefully pruned and edited and cut to perfection.
It's the same way with movies. There are so many cringe-worthy parts of the script that get cut, sequences filmed that never make it into the final product, and scenes that are refilmed dozens of times after adjusting minutiae you will never notice.
Yeah, you sound pretty eloquent here. Did you go back and edit what you wrote one or a few times before posting?
Just keep doing that with your work - use a thesaurus if you want - until you're sick of seeing it.
Man I can totally feel you. Often time I need to spend 5 minutes to finish a 2-sentence reply on 4chan, checking the things I just typed again and again. English is not my native speak but I don't want it to be an excuse. This may sound stupid but I purchased a 4chan pass just so I can practice my English more often.
A lot of time I am stunned by how other people on the internet can write something about an idea so eloquently. It always reminds me how awful my physics thesis was.
I spent 10 minutes writing this reply.