>>7617549 My body is sore from all the sledding I've done in the past two days. This is an abnormal weather phenomenon, but at least it makes for great sledding. And people say global warming isn't an issue.
>>7617549 I want to write this particular story to espouse my views on a certain issue, but I know the best stories are based around character interaction and that plot is meaningless in all but the most plebeian of works. I don't know how to reconcile these two views.
I feel like I'm at the conclusion of a fever, when every muscle is sore but the disease itself is gone. It is shocking how closely my experiences have matched what was documented by Laing, Campbell. In an odd twist, even the internal content has matched them in places, at least with my dreams. My journey was ostensibly about finding the strength to interact with others, despite the pain. Yet even though there's value in this, it's ultimately futile. The second purpose of the journey then seems to be about finding the strength to die. It may be all a creature like me is capable of, in the greater narrative of things. I'm a psychotic, violent, non-passing transsexual; I pretty much stand opposed to society axiomatically. Regardless of how hard I try I will be at best a disruptive and threatening outsider. How wonderful, then, that I have been given a symbol to keep in my heart that can make my death palatable for me. The juxtaposition of divine mercy and mortal cruelty is, in the context of the symbol itself, ironic. I understand pragmatically that it doesn't matter why I'm broken, but such a mercy was all I ever really wanted.
I wish I hadn't been broken up with by my companion. She doesn't like being posted about publicly. When I posted excerpts from my diary publicly, it was like being prostituted for her. I also realized she isn't a god, which she doesn't like much either. I friend-zoned the voice in my head. I still love her though. It would be nice to go into the void together with her, when the time comes. I hope she will remember me.
>>7617549 but there were no 'people' to be found there. maybe long ago, most were fashioned into automatons. numbed by cannabis, wi-fi, pornography, antidepressants ubiquitous nwo brain control chemicals... the last of their god-given violent impulses long smothered by high-estrogen processed foodstuffs. all capability and/or desire for rebellion extinguished. machinistic pursuit of fleeting pleasures. cant live off the land...emotional, but far from compassionate. avoids pain seeks pleasure, doesn't do much else. maybe 'programming' 'creative'-labor or some bullshit
>Happiness is a knack, like whistling. Happiness isn't just a catch-all for some kind of enlightened state. No-one is happy all the time, it doesn't fall onto your lap, you work for it. Stop being a self indulgent pussy (unless you have clinical depression).
as i get out of my teens I'm growing actual distaste towards people of lower social classes (white trash in too short track pants, greasy asians with bowl cuts, nothing to do with race really, just people who remind me of public school in the suburbs) and it makes my bullshit tumblr political correctness side mad but i think I'm just gonna go with it
Because of the blizzard today my parents decided to drive me to and from work. On the way home we passed an apartment with some police cars in front of it, and my father commented that he didn't have his scanner on today. They're both very obsessive about that sort of gossip and usually follow the local police with it.
If they had been listening earlier they would've found out that a co-worker and I had to call in a rape. I wouldn't be surprised if the cops were at that apartment because of it but I really don't feel like telling them about what happened.
I always held a disdain for the concept of norms since I was a little boy. It's always there, I think. Most 'rebels' are never rebels, just conformist to a sub-group. I want to meet a contradictory underground man. I want to rape some bitchy middle class 'punk' chick and beat a bratty, angry goth boy.
Tomorrow is my first birthday in this new(ish) home and I'm going to be all alone. Then again, I've been alone for every birthday of my life so far. I'm so lonely. I wish I had someone in my life, I'm so fucking lonely I want to die everyday, I want to die right now
>"people are not interested in what they say....rather impressions they make"
I would argue that this is just as, if not more prominent in the non-virtual world, anon. We are creatures who subconsciously worship status. It is ingrained into our very being, and as far as i can tell there's no escaping it. If anything the anonymity of sites like 4chan provide a type laissez faire attitude where an individuals "social-acceptance" guard can be let down
>>7618185 most school shootings are highly derivative of past performances and lacking in conceptual depth. but once in a while, everything comes together, you get something truly awe-inspiring. ongoing collaborative multimedia experiments that outlive their creators and transcend their often banal motivations. their impact in the collective psyche far exceeds what novelists, musicians, plastic artists could achieve in times past. A kid shooting up his high-school in flyover country is the equivalent of a minor work. if you want a better example think of the Paris attacks or 9/11. it's truly a terrible new phase in the history of human expression Hyper-art if you will.
>>7618182 I agree that the inevitable connectivity of the world will cause major change in culture and the universal zeitgeist, but I cant so hastily conclude that this will be necessarily negative. A more connected society means a more productive and optimized one. Society would be more efficient, understanding, and tranquil. Sure you can say "Variety is the spice of life." and i understand what you mean and somewhat agree, but as the world becomes more connected I don't think that variety will disappear completely either. The internet has the potential to, and currently does, provide niches and communities for those who maybe can't become involved in them otherwise (like my friendz here on /lit/ :-)) When all is said and done, what is inevitable is inevitable, and the only thing you can hope to do is change your outlook on the matter (which I feel like i have been in your shoes before, feeling hopeless about the future, and disdaining the direction the world was headed).
I'm going to be straight here. I am a cuckold, but I am also a white nationalist. I believe that whites have contributed more to humanity than any other race, space travel, anti—biotics the list goes on. But when it comes down to it, blacks are just better at fucking. Theres no shame in admitting this. There is no shame in admitting that despite the infinite intellectual and moral superiority of the white race, black cock is just better at pleasing women. The reason white women are turning from the cause and running to niggers is simply because they are not being sexually satisfied. Can you blame them? If you dont get enough to eat at home youre going to go out to eat. The only way to save the white race from miscegenation is cuckolding. My pure white wife is my angel, the apple of my eye. And I want nothing but the best for her. So every friday she gets to have her fill of big black cock. And our relationship goes on like normal. We love each other, and plan on having a child soon. She also shares my red pilled beliefs. Monogamy is a tool of the jew. Just give it a chance once. Its exhilarating. Theres something deeply majestic about watching a toned muscular black stud going in and out of a beautiful white woman. Try it once
I had a dream last night that I was at somebody's funeral and a fat fuck dressed in black robes and a skull mask busted in during a hymn through the chapel doors and the preacher tossed his podium aside and started wrestling him, bashing each others heads into pews and shit.
>>7618357 I had a dream last night that I was going to finger my girlfriend's asshole (which she has never let me do), but whilst doing so I suddenly had the urge to shit and had to hold it in. I failed and shat on the floor whilst fingering her ass.
This and other dreams has me thinking that our sexually saturated society have reversed the criteria of repression as Freud presented it in dream interpretation; that the sexual is allowed to freely present itself and more personally troubling doubts and fears become submerged in the sexual.
I am terrified of getting negative responses back on my grad applications.
For the love of God just let me get into one of them. I don't even care about anything other than knowing I'm at an institution that looks good on a CV. Once that's behind me, I can just focus on my work. Could give less than a fuck which one it actually is. Just let me get one fucking positive response.
the thunderous waging sea against the vigil candle blowing while the heir fights the waves on a sail destined to vanish no despair DO NOT DESPAIR CRIES THE HEIR FOR THE DARKNESS THE DARKNESS HAS ALWAYS BEEN FRAGILE TO THE LIGHT
Think I'm gonna enlist. Don't really know what else to do with myself. Depending on my ASVAB score, I'm hoping to go into either Intel or Engineering, not really keen on being an infantry grunt. It's not so much that I'm afraid of death, I just don't see how I'd apply that in the civilian world once I'm past my service and looking to start a career. I know a few guys that went 11-Bravo and came out working shitty retail jobs for the rest of their life.
I could atleast try to follow my passions again. I tried it 4 years ago and it was the happiest I ever was, to my immediate knowledge. But then I was scared away by demons telling me of unsatisfactory existence and unpaid bills and now I stamp average grades to my name so that one day I might experience a life of unhappiness but stability while telling myself to once again follow my passions.
>>7618450 I've been smoking two, three times a week for the past six years. I usually do it solo because I'm not a very sociable person and the things I like to do stoned (reading, writing, music, etc.) are best done on my lonesome, but when I am with friends, that's all we do. If we're at a party and I get asked to do something else, which rarely happens, I say "no". It's a matter of self-control, and believe it or not, other "potheads" have it.
Besides, it's none of my business what other people do. So long as they don't try to drag me into it, I don't care.
I need to pack. And how the fuck am I going to get this girl off my back. I'm dating someone else. Yes I used to fuck her, sometimes still do, but how am I gonna stop fucking her? When we're together we just smoke weed and fuck and I'm trying to stop. When she sleeps over I wake up at noon. When she doesn't, I wake up at eight. She says she loves me. I don't love her. I kind of resent her. But she's really cute and I wouldn't want to hurt her. But I need to hurt her sometime. Or she'll never go, and my girlfriend will meet her and something good and healthy will be gone from my life. And I'll be left with nothing but the writhing vestiges of a partnership, and of a one-way romance.
>>7617549 I have devoted my youth to the study and romanticizing of the spider. I am aware that outside of simple anticipation responses they will never know how much I love them, how hard I work to shield them from the horror of the unforgiving world. I don't know how to finish this line of thought.
I've pretended to care for so long i dont even know when im serious and when im not. No one knows when i mean it, so i've practicly destroyed my own expressionism by being a neutral, luke-warm fuck that i am. The worst thing is i cant come up and shake it off and become normal again. Its been like this for years. If i could, i might be totally different person maybe? I dont know, nor do i care.
>>7617624 intuition is before language. Language is the mapping of intuition. If language were the only thing which existed in thought then the rare human who doesn't speak a language would be also without thought.
Something as simple as studying can't fuck me up this hard, can it? I mean I spent most of yesterday sleeping and whenever I did try to do something with my life I became completely deppressed. What's so wrong with me?
When did my weekly watchlist get so big jesus?
How much influence does 4chan have on modern culture really?
I want to write cyberpunk, but not pleb YA bullshit.
Programming really is like magic. The programmer can make something appear out of nothing with just strokes of his fingers on the keyboard and a few hours of work. The magic doesn't come easy and it is rarely right the first time, but when it does come, it's often amazing. It is technological alchemy. Take pieces from this library and that, add in a bit of your own soul and then compile, debug, compile again, repeat as needed, and then submit to the greater repository. This is the great magic because it is intelligent and structured and anyone with the aptitude for it can do great things.
However, I don't have a plot. I suck at plotting. Well ok, I have an inkling of a plot, but it's vague and hamfisted if done poorly. I'd rather write something good than something shit tier so I don't write anything at all.
What to do with mai life? All I do is watch anime, and post here and there. I just want to read but really I don't want to read at all. I just want to dissolve into meaning, find a nook and stick. But nooo! No, no, no. I suck. But so do you.
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