Hey /lit/, I'm writing a story, and I wanna know what's

Rando IMO

It'd be more cruel and evil for the character to kill something like a cute puppy or stray cat though, and probably easier to fit into the narrative

You could have a list of convincing reasons to snuff out the girlfriend after one week let alone one month

>>7610799
B. Murdering the person you've been dating for like a month for no reason

A month is a long time, the person grew attached, let you in to their world. Opened themself just to get a killed.

The random could be sad if you worked out what he/she has, but shit happens and people die all the time due to an accident.

B.

Without reason makes a the dating part part of the murder as well.

i,e, killing a rando is cruelty of murder without reason per se, killing gf without reason is cruelty without reason + cruelty of proximity, you killed for her proximity

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Killing the gf has obvious practical obstacles, if you are being 'realistic' in your story, unless you plan on ending it shortly before any investigation, the setting is before police/forensic sciences were any good, etc. Or maybe you'd like it to end w/the police?
But personally, I don't think it's the right way to go for the same reason I think killing the random person isn't right: its too easy of a device. Unless you are trying to imitate a Criminal Minds plotline or something of that kind, I would caution against it.
There really isn't anything monstrous or cruel about either options in my humble opinion, familia. Murder simply doesn't rustle jimmies like it used to. Sure, it's still 'bad'---and sensationalized to the last by most media---but it doesn't instantly mean 'cruel' from my POV.
If you a looking to show the "heartlessness" of a character, then I would look to something with a clear push-pull dynamic. In other words, I would give them a crossroads, a dilemma of some kind, where neither decision is clearly good or clearly evil. That way, the reader and the character approach the tension and heart of the problem; in addition, that creates the opportunity for readers to be torn as well---some hoping for one outcome, others another.
I think something close that idea can create a great monster: i.e., a monster that readers understand. Once that has been established, you can slowly unravel the character (once so liked, possibly) into a real and true monster (one that just kills randoms, for instance, or whatever you like).
I don't know if this will be helpful at all, anon. But I hope so. And if I totally missed the point, well, there's always pic related.

There's always a reason. Your story will suck without one.

>>7611181
Nice. I value your opinion. Basically the story is this average Joe-schmoe who descends into madness. He starts doing these petty crimes like shoplifting, all the while feeling really guilty about it, and eventually moves up to grand theft auto, and try as he might, he's going batshit and can't stop doing bad shit. The final thing he does is rapekill one of the two above options, and then he suicides because he knows he can't stop himself from doing more terrible things.

So to answer
>>7611190
as well, the murderape isn't a "oh shit he's a bad bad man" thing for the audience, it's the straw the breaks the camel's back inside his head during his internal conflict of turning into a crazy. The fact that he kills her for no reason is part of the setup that makes him decide he can't go on like this.

I also plan to do research on schizophrenia and other like mental illnesses so it's not complete bullshit.

>>7611217

> Thinking about different paths this story could go
> Asking others
> Planning to research on stuff to be accurate

I don't know your media, nor the genre but I'd love to read you.

My guess would that killing the girlfriend would seem more evil since they've been dating, but the other is fine too. They are not equal but it's so evil we can't really distinguish.
If you want to make him a schizophrenic, try separating his personality, making a difference between reality and what he perceives to be reality (the reality/his reality), a little bit more cliché but hallucination either it's visual, auditive, olfactive...
The schizophrenic is off the reality while someone more perverse or antisocial would totally control the reality surrounding him but he wouldn't feel empathy or the need to rely on others.

here, got you some infos from my studies. Still a younga in psychology, but I hope this helps you.

>>7611405
Hey, thanks man. I started out thinking I'd just write a short story about it, but now I think I may turn it into a concept album. Maybe I'll do both lol

The thing I'm going for is like he has an irresistible urge to do these things. Kinda like when you see that piece of cake, and you know you shouldn't eat it because you're on a diet, plus it's for your mom when she comes over, but then you eat it anyway and feel bad about it later. Except it's rape. So it's not a split personality, or hallucinations or something, it's more him watching himself turn into a monster and he's only along for the ride, but he still knows what he's doing is wrong. Dunno if some mental illness fits that so specifically, so I'll have to do some digging. Also I wanna write it in first person present tense, sort of like a stream of consciousness dealio with his internal monologue.

>>7610799
neither will make anyone blink an eye.

Personally I'd go with the person grinding up glass and putting it in a kid's juice bottle.

That'll get the reader's attention.

>>7611430
Nigga did you read the two novellas I wrote up there. It's not about the murder, it's about the dude losing his humanity

>>7610799
>for no reason
I would simply stop reading and start wondering what the writer was thinking.

>>7611469
see:
>>7611420
>>7611217

Both are terrible. Try harder you lazy cunt.
>>7610817
Why do millennials believe this.

>>7611485
see:
>>7611470

>>7611454
CRAAAAAAAAAAAWLING

>>7611495
>CRAAAAAAAAAAAWLING
Yeah kinda

>>7611217
>all the while feeling really guilty about it, and eventually moves up to grand theft auto, and try as he might, he's going batshit and can't stop doing bad shit.
I don't buy the motivation, to be honest. I feel a more interesting take on this idea would be if he didn't feel guilty, or he only felt a pale shade of guilt about not feeling guilty, and the escalation of his criminal activity was an attempt to make himself feel guilty, which culminated in murder.

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The whole thing seems bogus to me, "losing humanity" or "going crazy" are too generic, both would break my suspension of disbelief. Mental disorders and even psychopathy aren't really direct causes of murder.

>>7610799
>
u r a b a d w r i t e r

>>7611525
That's because the motivation isn't exactly there. It's an irrational thing he's experiencing, and really only a means to an end, that end being the story of how he deals with it. I do like the idea that he does this shit to feel guilty, though it doesn't really jive with the idea my brain made.

>>7611531
It's not really a thing to be taken that seriously, I guess. It's kinda like a hypothetical "what if a dude just started doing terrible things, how would he react, etc." thing. Yeah, probably not the most believable foundation for a story, but I feel like, even if there's no SoD and it's kinda campy, it'll be a nice read to just go along with the ride for. Kinda like Stephen King, maybe? Plus I think it's at least a kind of original idea (I've never heard of something like this before)

>>7611538
y tho

>>7611543
Well it's not MY cup of tea, but I guess there's an audience for everything. Also WHY doesn't /lit/ has a general thread for writers?

>>7611554
That's how I feel about it. Can't please everyone all of the time ect.

Also yeah it really should.

>>7611420
I see, someone more in control of his abilities but regretting it every-time he does something bad.
What about him being either autistic, or a sociopath. They're quite in phase with the reality, they're intelligent and they know "the rules", they just break it. You could imagine someone feeling different since the beginning yet he couldn't put a finger on his difference and gradually experiencing desires he wouldn't want to have. Enjoy crimes and regretting it later.
Whatever you want, once you find that special situation, you can make him believe, think and do anything.

>>7611531

Mah nigga you didn't see what my eyes saw.
The next sentence is weird : Psychology does kill people, not guns. I agree that it may sound generic if poorly written, it will be too cliché. If well written, we may see the struggle of a deviant mind trying to fit while his mental illness is leading him to crimes. But this is actually a good comment, since you're preventing this kind of stuff to happen.


Good luck