Is there a better book about human behavior and influence that this?

>>7583761
No, honestly.

>>7583761
just be yourself xd : the book

>>7583761
>is there a better book about human behavior

I can think of 100

>>7583761

There is plenty of research on human social cues and whatnot, if you want to understand these things analytically.

Might resuscitate your assburger social life, if aptly applied.

>>7583761

I, too, listen to This American Life.

>>7583786
You can think of 100, but you can't name one?

>>7583761
>how to kiss ass: the book
if you're the kind of faggot that needs self-help books in the first place then I pity you

>>7583825

...you better be memeing

>>7583829
YOU are the one that must be memeing, faggot

>>7583825
Some people have actually benefited and turned their lives around from self-help books.

>>7583761
It's a book for salesman. Doesn't apply much to other situations.

>>7583829
He obviously hasn't read the book and doesn't know what he's talking about.

The Social Animal. You'll find it listed among text books, but truthfully it is just the definitive book on social psychology and everyone else is too intimidated to try and write a competing, more textbook-like option while he is still alive.

>>7583839

I've never read it either. I find the title really off-putting. It just reminds me of being some kind of uppity social slut that's trying to learn the art of pretending to be nice.

I just finished it last week. Not a bad read, but he repeats himself quite a bit.
Useful as fuck if you work in sales.

>>7583839
Literally everyone who wants to do anything has to be a salesman at many points in their life.

>>7583842
So this book delves deeper into what makes the brain tick? Mindmapping? Might have to give it a go

Tons. Imo its over rated.

>>7583942
Such as?

>>7583761
It's ancient and been surpassed by other books. I guess it's alright if you're a complete social pleb who doesn't know anything.

>>7583792
Nigga this book is from like 1926

Fuck outta here witcho public radio listenin ass

>>7583786
If you list all 100 books I promise I will read every one of them

>>7583788
Name some

>>7583761
my socks are wet

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>>7583761
It's alright, but it shows its age and it's kind of all over the place. I like pic related better.

>>7583761
monty python version is better

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>>7583761
On my reading list, behavior, influence, pursuasion,

Some not pictured:
Crucial conversations
psycho-cybernetics
48 laws of power

Gonna look into The social animal

>>7583839
>It's a book for salesman. Doesn't apply much to other situations.

Life IS sales. You are constantly selling.


>>7583846
>edgy desu sempai

>>7583761
>human behaviour
>"the customer is always right"
It's about self marketing and industrial-strength dick sucking, but a worthy read if you want any kind of Career

>>7583761
Haven't read it but something more useful with more applicable stuff would be The Charisma Myth. It has the section on listening which contains condensed info of the whole Carnegie book.

>>7585164
>written by a woman
Not sure this would work for me.

>>7585054
>everything's capitalism
How small minded.

>>7586325

>not understanding the basic universal principles of biology

The Art of Worldly Wisdom, by Balthasar Gracian

Won't do you any good though. Learning how to be a snake that studies the habits of men in order to manipulate them might make you wise in the eyes of the world, but a fool in the eyes of God. By manipulating people you will inevitably become a misanthrope, because you will become to see people as pawns to be played. You will forget how to love, and you will be miserable in this world, even before you are condemned to hell forever for being so hard of heart.

>>7586501
plus by developing this false face, this mask by which you intend to charm and seduce people; you might win the admiration of vain people but you will NEVER win their heart or devotion. Even the dumbest of men can detect genuine love when he sees it, and is willing to die for someone who genuinely loves them. By practicing the art of deceit you will make it literally impossible for you to genuinely love someone, and so all you can ever hope to have is vapid followers who will dump you the moment someone more charming, attractive, or useful comes along.

>>7583786
name 1 then fagtron

>>7586501
>>7586520

Moderation and compartmentalization, silly anon. It's like you've never lied to anyone in your life for personal gain, while still loving them.

>>7583989

God damn you are a dumb motherfucker. I mean, God damn, you have to try to be this stupid.

The episode from this Sunday's podcast was all about this book. Now don't pretend OP didn't listen to that podcast and make a thread about it.

I mean, Jesus Christ, you actually took the cock out of your mouth long enough to type that reply.

>>7583785
That would be The Phenomenology of Spirit, good choice.

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>>7586325
> picking up women is capitalism
> making people feel better (thus, making them like you) is capitalism
> making smalltalk with people in the library to start overcoming your crippling depression is capitalism

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>>7583761
If your a beta cuck, sure.

>>7587425
tell me more about capitalism senpai

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This book taught me a lot

>>7586540
Wow, the world must really revolve around you huh
No one else in the whole world could have come across literally the most recommended self improvement book in the world and wanted to talk about it without referencing you niche little podcast
Seriously kill yourself you retarded cunt

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>>7587483
When there's something strange in the neighbourhood, who you gonna call?
If Stalin's here, and there's no more food, who you gonna call?
I ain't afraid of no reds.
Human nature agrees, and the Khmer Rouge's free, who you gonna call?
Profits make me feel good

>how to become a slimy 1950s white collar american salesman with no defining personal characteristic the book
decent as a self-help book but outdated - social interaction is inherently more complex and multi-faceted compared to the 30s given the difference in diversity with regards to class/race/etc.

>>7583786
name some then

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>>7587598
> The basics of everyday human interaction and communication have fundamentally changed in 80 years

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>>7587598
> A race of animals who still cannot grasp the difference between an airhorn and a charging mammoth have achieved a paradigm shift in their communication in 80 years
but muh culture
> culture won't change your parasympathetic perception of smiling, or the dopamine released by speaking about your favourite subjects

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bump for interest

>>7587645
>>7587653
of course the basics haven't changed (smiling for example) but that doesn't mean social interaction hasn't become more nuanced/layered/complicated. That book could hardly prepare you for the way social interaction occurs on this website, for example. Mass telecommunications and immigration and so forth have resulted in a rather large change in the way we converse and form interpersonal connections with others I would argue

>>7583761

I liked this book until I read Culture of narcissism by Lasch

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>>7587716
please elaborate further
I see very little language (verbal or otherwise) in our posts which could not be explained to someone from those times in a paragraph or less.

Of course there will be specific (ie. technical) linguistics to this form and place of communication, but that would have been likewise to a society of XIX century engineers, for example

>>7587761
language is hardly the end all of social interaction

the words/body/dialect/tone/etc. I use varies dramatically throughout a typical day depending on who I'm with (I would say this is a result of mass telecommunications and the social melting pot that is any Western anglophone country); to this end I would say the primary difference between now and the 30s is the fluidity of social interaction - social rules seem less rigid and thus Carnegie's book is less useful

it's nearly 5am and I'm thinking aloud

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>>7587857
> words/body/dialect/tone
This is all part of language. Understand the concept of language not as "the words you say" but as "the medium used for communication". This would make, say, a punch in the face language.

Attached, the rules carnegie proposed. At worst, I see them somewhat cowardly (Rules #10 & #11), and somewhat obsolete/demode (#19 or #24). At best, they are quintessential relationship principles, even today.

The idea of more fluid comms (by this I interpret less rigid, less implicit-rule-driven, more spontaneous) is interesting. However, I suspect you are approaching this topic with an image in mind, an image of a used car salesman pictured through a black and white TV set (Figuratively, obviously). Transcending this image towards the principles espoused (and hopefully, putting them into practice) will show how valuable all this really is.

>>7587857
As an afterthought, how would you link globalization and telcomms to these fludities?
It would be interesting for you to develop this causation.

>>7586489
>thinks biology contains normative statements

>>7588214
I think it is referred to something more like >>7587653
last paragraph

>>7583761
All of Freud's works.

>>7583788
>>7583786
Name some please, I want to improve myself.

>>7587716
>>7587653
>>7588266
The meaning of smiling IS dependent on culture. In Asia, it signifies other emotions than happiness.

>>7586325
Your definition of sales is too narrow.

>>7586540
I listen to many podcasts but certainly not feel good plebcore npr, this American life, serial etc

>>7587598
No. Maybe new tech but same drives and behaviors. It's your own fault if you read "write a thank you letter" and can't mentally equate that to email.

>>7586540
Why would need your mouth empty just to type some words in a field? Think before you post for Chrissakes.

>>7586540
what a world you live in where you think everyone listens to that shitty podcast.

>>7588529
>>7588529
Like what?

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>>7586540
Holy fuck, get it together man.

>>7588529
My face curls into a smile when I'm happy. I don't think that has anything to do with culture.

>>7587558
9/10

>>7586540
>being this autistic

>>7583761

I don't read self-help books, as I am not a massive fucking loser.

I have never met a single person who read self-help books who was successful. Every single one has been a perpetual fuck-up.

>>7585054

Sounds spooky.

Tell me what I'm selling when I'm reading good literature at home.

>>7589105
>>7589110
>In America, a smile is usually regarded as a friendly, positive gesture of trust. Historians have suggested that because the USA was initially a frontier society with little official law enforcement, the ability to communicate that “I am a friend” was quite important. In contrast, among some Asian societies people smile when they are embarrassed, angry, sad, confused, apologetic, and (sometimes) happy.
http://scienceblogs.com/retrospectacle/2007/08/08/the-crosscultural-meanings-of-1/

>putting the other person first in your menial encounters
>dick-sucking
Proof you haven't tried not being a selfish shitdick before.

People naturally enjoy when someone shows them gratitude, affection, or interest. Why? Because most people simply don't do this. Their interactions with people are shallow and selfish and they don't even bother emphasizing the person's name. That is not "dick-sucking", it's not being a shit-bag. The fact anyone would think it's not useful to know these things goes to show how necessary the book still is.

>>7589784
Unfortunately being human garbage is the norm now.

>>7588529
>>7589654
Embarrasing. Get it together.

>>7589844
> le 1950's were the chivalrous times

>>7583761
Montaigne's Essays

>>7586501
>>7586520
But isn't it helpful to know if someone is using these tactics on you?

>>7588528
Do not care about your own perception of yourself. Only care about what others think. adapt yourself based on other peoples aesthetic ideals, take this advice if youre going into business/music/fashion

>>7583761
>>7587958
seems like it might be worthwhile in helping to recognize when others might be manipulating you??

I'm having a problem with one of the concepts of the book if anyone can help me. Criticism is not ok according to the book and I understand what he is saying, but what about punishment? They are separate thing correct, you can punish a person without criticizing them and still have a positive impact?

>>7591083
How is not talking bad about people and generally making them feel good as well as making yourself feel good manipulative? It's a symbiotic relationship not a parasitic one.

>>7591240
no.

>>7591248
Alright. So only work through rewards, don't use any negative enforcement whatsoever. I like the book but isn't that really naive?

>>7591257
To the contrary, it's naive to punish someone and think it will change them.

>>7591270
But let's say you run a business. You have a employee who keeps running late. How are you going to get it across to other employees that it's not alright to be late without firing/punishing him? Sad with the military, an organization like that would absolutely fall apart without negative enforcement. I really want to believe what he is saying but I can't.

>>7591291
So you want to run your relations like the military? Or do you want to rely on the effectiveness of the people in your life? If they are late, they know it. If you want to micro-manage them, that becomes your problem. It drags you down and people will see you meting out your petty punishments. I wouldn't want to be seen in that light.

Furthermore, if you hired a person who can't keep their shit together, who does that really reflect poorly on? Will you punish yourself?

>>7591308
Me neither, but I don't want to be take advantage of either. The other extreme is that people are not motivated enough by positive enforcement alone. Why do you think companies continue to write up people who are late? Because everyone would come it late if they didn't and the company would be seen as a pushover. I just think Carnegie might be pushing to extreme you know what I mean?

>>7591244
um, i wasn't really referring to the post >>7587958, just the image. but yeah, most of those principles seem like great ways to get someone else in a state of mind/position to be easily manipulated.

>>7591318
Companies have to hire a lot of people to keep running. A bad apples going to slip through the cracks.

>>7591328
If you are building them as s person and never critics cont them they are only letting you influence them as much as they want to be influenced. You can't control them through fear therefore you can't possibly manipulate them.

>>7591323
>>7591331
If you two want to make it your business how corporate employees manage their time and efforts then by all means go ahead. Be good little slavemasters.

>>7591337
a grocery store would absolutely go out of business without people clocking in at the right time.

>>7591335
you seem to suggest fear is the only way to manipulate someone?? pure silliness.

and 'they are only letting you influence them as much as they want to be influenced'?
really?
sounds like a perfect manipulation tactic: 'oh, i didn't make you think i was someone to be trusted based on the way i acted with you, ...however i used you is essentially your fault, you are the one who ultimately let me influence you...'

do you truly not see how you can use the principles of this book to manipulate others....

>>7591357
The employee should act however they want. A grocery store should only provide the incentive for appropriate conduct. Are you a socialist?

>>7591371
No, but I'm suggesting that you cannot only work through positive incentives alone.
>>7591365
Nah fear isn't the only way to manipulate people you are right. I suppose you could use this book for manipulation of you wanted to, if you are a decent enough person you won't though. This books tells you how to obtain power it does't tell you what to do with it imo.

>>7591390
You can. In fact, the only way forward in any conflict of interest is positive incentive. This is the very basis of diplomacy. You sweep the differences under the rug and instead find common interest.

Regardless. I'm getting too drunk for this shit. I have already made one or two errors in judgement. If you find someone in another thread arguing vehemently about mundane affairs, make sure to say hello.

>>7591408
Well I'll try it and see how it works, why not. Have fun anon, thanks for conversing.

>finally made it to a point where I'm happy in life
>decide to read this book
>it reinforces the things I've already learned on my own
Neat.

>>7591445
Prob one of the first times I've felt sincerely happy for another anon.
We're all gonna make it