Hi /lit/ I am writing a novel, and I can't decide on which

depending on the rest of the story

without the rest of the story of course the first person makes more sense since it can be already finished

Clouds hang over brick buildings. My eyes follow their movement. Raindrops leave streaks of water on a giant window I am leaning against. I look into the eyes of my own reflection in the glass. Two transparent, pale brown dots. I look down and cars are beetles and people ants on wet streets down below. I have vertigo. In the dizziness-induced darkness, I see myself falling down 76 floors and splattering onto pavement among all sorts of cars and yellow cabs into a mass of flesh, bones, and intestines. I imagine my skull cracking open and my brain splitting. My cerebral functions would stop and all the demons hiding in my mind would vanish too. The darkness dissipates. Although the sun is nowhere to be seen, clouds lit by daylight are bright enough to make my pupils contract. I walk backward to plunge into a sofa filled with soft silicon that surrounds me like a womb. My eye are fixed upon the window in which the shining clouds and building rooftops are still visible.

I think of smashing the window with a hammer. Then I ponder the difficulty of sneaking a hammer into my room and the hardness of quadruple fortified glass. I think fortified glass shatters into harmless, pebble-like pieces but in my mind the glass nevertheless shatters into a thousand pieces big and sharp enough to be lethal. I see the gravity-fueled glass raining down on unassuming pedestrians.

I imagine the innocent pedestrians, their heads pierced by sharp glass, moaning and bleeding on the ground. I don't want to hurt them. People who wanted to get to their school, work, friends, lovers, family, etc. People who breathed freely, who looked without fear.

I would never want to hurt them, even though they are not like me.

Clouds hang over brick buildings. Jamie's eyes follow their movement. Raindrops leave streaks of water on a giant window Jamie is leaning against. He looks into the eyes of his own reflection in the glass. Two transparent, pale brown dots. Jamie looks down and cars are beetles and people ants on wet streets down below. Jamie has vertigo. In the dizziness-induced darkness, he sees himself falling down 76 floors and splattering onto pavement among all sorts of cars and yellow cabs into a mass of flesh, bones, and intestines. Jamie imagines his skull cracking open and his brain splitting. His cerebral functions would stop and all the demons hiding in his mind would vanish too. The darkness dissipates. Although the sun is nowhere to be seen, clouds lit by daylight are bright enough to make Jamie's pupils contract. He walks backward to plunge into a sofa filled with soft silicon that surrounds him like a womb. His eyes are fixed upon the window in which the shining clouds and building rooftops are still visible.

He thinks of smashing the window with a hammer. Then he ponders the difficulty of sneaking a hammer into his room and the hardness of quadruple fortified glass. He thinks fortified glass shatters into harmless, pebble-like pieces but in his mind the glass nevertheless shatters into a thousand pieces big and sharp enough to be lethal. Jamie sees the gravity-fueled glass raining down on unassuming pedestrians.

He imagines the innocent pedestrians, their heads pierced by sharp glass, moaning and bleeding on the ground. Jamie doesn't want to hurt them. People who wanted to get to their school, work, friends, lovers, family, etc. People who breathed freely, who looked without fear.

Jamie would never want to hurt them, even though they are not like him.

idk they're both shit
if your story reads exactly the same whether it's first or third person it's probably bad

>>7579483
>>7579485

Simply changing "I" for "Jamie" doesn't make it third person in any sense other than a purely nominal one. It's pretty clear that the way this is written, it's better adapted for first person. If you want it to be third person, you have to rewrite the actual words, because the distinction between first and third isn't trivial. This excerpt seems to take place very much inside Jamie's head. For instance, if you're going to have a sentence like

"Jamie would never want to hurt them" / "I would never want to hurt them"

The question has to be who has the best access to this knowledge -- some narrator, or Jamie himself? If you're going to choose the narrator, there better be some good reason that he seems to have perfect, direct access to Jamie's thought process. On the other hand, you could circumvent all of this simply by having Jamie relate the contents of his own mind. I would suggest this: it's a lot more logical, and reads more naturally.

Also, use the fucking catalogue and post in the dedicated critique thread ffs

>>7579491
>if your story reads exactly the same whether it's first or third person it's probably bad
How so?
>>7579514
>you could circumvent all of this simply by having Jamie relate the contents of his own mind. I would suggest this: it's a lot more logical, and reads more naturally.
That is the case.

>>7579465
3edgy5me
People as ants is cliche

>>7579837
>People as ants is cliche
doesn't mean it can't sell

it should be first person. The third person excerpt was atrocious, while the first person was much better, though honestly still very much unremarkable. If you're going to explore character's thoughts to the extent that you are here, you should use first person, because the same thing in third person gets very awkward. There are modes of third person perspective that don't have this problem, but evidently- and im sorry to say this, because im not here to attack- your understanding of perspective is quite limited.

I will also add that you need to craft a much more unique style than you have currently. Ask yourself: what topics am i dealing with that aren't dealt with in the same way elsewhere? / same thing for the style of your prose. Be careful about being derisive or redundant

>>7579465
Based on what I just read, you shouldn't be writing at all.