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2016-01-10 02:56:26 Post No. 7565213
Post No. 7565213
Is poem critiquing allowed on lit? I'm a bit new to this board, and I love to write poetry, but nobody to share it with. It's personal to me because it's an outlet for emotions. If so, here's a piece. Tell me what you think guys.
Friday ends on a sweet note.
Tension and stress is purged through the pervasive pores.
Departing from the sweat and smiles, dread lingering in the subconscious.
Reality is waiting at a place this called “home.”
Pack on the back, water on the side, headphones on.
The train crawls forward in anticipation.
Brief thoughts of suicide,
cut short by the train.
Maybe next time.
The train is relieved.
Strangers with their own story doze.
Humans with their tendencies, their own habits, doze.
Silence on the way “home.”
A hand grips the doorknob tightly,
like any other day.
Spices flood the senses – as usual.
Legs sore, yet they climb the stairs dutifully.
Maybe Tia or Grandma will call today.
With luck, maybe even Dad.
Slim chances, sure, but a guy can hope.
Pack on the floor, water on the table, headphones on.
Climb in to bed wearily.