I watched alot of porn during my formative years and I feel like that's destroyed my perception of them in the real world. I don't want that to come back to bite me in the professional world, so what books help with this?
I know that, but that's starting to become a hinderance for me talking to them. I'll start a conversation with them, think of them simply as a sexual object, and completely lose interest.
If you are going out on a date just dont jerk off for a couple days. Also when you do jerk off try to use lubricant so you dont get grip dick, and avoid porn that is fundamentally different than what your partner looks like/is into.
Reading books on this subject is silly.
I'm the same way, and that's also due to sexual experiences I've had with them. It started happening when I saw how girls treated me when they were attracted to me compared to how they treated other random guys, and their complete lack of feelings or care about being such hypocritical bitches.
At the same time that's also how I grew to see hoe pathetic most men are and how quickly they'll sacrifice themselves, friendships and potential just to make a woman happy for twenty seconds, all for the slightest prospect of possibly getting laid.
Women subconsciously know your intentions, even if they don't realize it and they will play you or "respect" you based on the way you sexualize them. See, even the most pathetic losers who spill spaghetti at the sight of an average woman is still sexualizing her, same as the "alpha" don juan who has no problem telling a girl to her face he's interested in sex only. Her behavior will change accordingly, and she won't try to play the that don juan-type guy but she may quickly realize he has nothing to offer. She is sizing you up from the second she meets you and non-sexual friendships happen only after.
And oh yea, I also don't watch porn, or try to, and it does help the problem. You still sexualize women but you also know how to talk to them and connect with them from a more "masculine" perspective, instead of the over sexualized desperation.
I don't know why no-fap works, but it does. It's like the lack of cumming causes your dick to get serious and work together with your brain and things just naturally become easier.
Simply trying to "de-hypersexualize" them is not a reasonable goal. For one, many of them are hypersexual. There are women who cannot put down the dick to get out a complete sentence.
Just ignore them and their sweet titties; there's plenty other types out there.
OP+20 years living here.
It's a constant struggle. Just like quitting alcohol or heroin. You have to remind yourself every single time, "she is a person, not a fucktoy, be kind, but not too kind. don't stare at her tits."
Seriously though, I wish just once someone would be like, "wanna drop all this pretense and rub our naked bodies together?"