took acid, got raped by gay friend (i'm male), thought he was going to steal my body by transmitting his soul into mine leaving me a detached consciousness with no way to interact with anything for eternity, i would be just this disembodied floating point of thought, then almost commited suicide while i still had a body to do it with.
i once had a dream within a dream >First dream in a Spanish hotel with some guys i used to be friends with, screw around abit then go to sleep >Wake up in a new dream in my own bedroom as if it was real life, decide i dont want to be in this dream and kill myself by jumping out the window >wake up back in the Spanish hotel dream
shit was dope, but whenever i tell people they get worried like i'll think im dreaming in real life and try to kill myself or some shit
i have ontologically terrifying dreams because they're indistinguishable from normal life and go on as long as normal days, except that when I fall asleep in the dream I wake up for reals and have to repeat the day all over again.
on the recomendation of a dear friend, although dear is stretched to it's minimum meaning and impact after this incident, I partook in a somewhat Dyonesian ritual. He offered me a small flat chalky pill the color of a Buenos Aires sunset violet. He said it would be in my best interest as a man of literature and the arts, although the word arts is stretched to it's most infinite meaning, to drink the small offering and chase it down with a viscous concoction the color of Buenos Aires sunrise purple. It has been several years since the occurrence but I can still remember the night I ended up at a crack house being raped by three mulatoes wielding arm length knives. Still dazed from the maelstromic infuzion of Argentinian skies (of which I am very fond of) I uttered- Dios mio estoy en Africa!- Alas, In a flurry of horrific subterranen horror the likes of Lovecraft's own creation I realized the very color of the binds I was tied with was a duet of white and teal with a blazing sun looking up at me. It was the Argentinian flag!
I read a book as a young kid (Out of the Silent Planet) in foster care. It was a stressful time and I was reading a lot of whatever sci-fi and fantasy I could get my hands on.
Anyway, years pass and I go to college and a friend recommends this book to me. While reading it I have deja vu. I can't place it for a few days, and because the book is written by CS Lewis and has religious themes all up in it I thought I was having some kind of nervous breakdown or religious awakening. Turns out I had just forgotten I had read the book years earlier, when my comprehension was very very low.
so I guess just deja vu is my most Borgesian experience
Similar thing happened to me when my older sister's fiance gave me a binder full of excerpts from things Godel, Escher, Bach,...Borges, John C. Lily, PKD, and Infinite Jest as a freshman in highschool. 10 years later I read Infinite Jest and the deja vu was an uncomfortable feeling until I recognized it
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