Moving to market.. Tired of waiting to get past slushpile bullshit from the big agencies. Not long ago somebody posted this in /lit/ when I asked for advice about how to go about the task:
">>7475636 (OP) # Release the first one for free as an ebook, spam it everywhere for 2 months. Build a rabid fanbase, promising you are working on a sequel. Release a sequel 1 year after, self-published on amazon, wait for publishers to approach you. Release book 3 and then a compendium of all 3 books on Amazon 6 months later, with the promise of a 9 book series in mind.
You are a millionaire by now, strike a 7 figure deal with your publisher to get your shit in stores, write the greatest treatise on modern war for books 4-9."
Book 1 should be online all over the place for free download by Valentine's Day.
finished it, checked it, assigned test readers - most of who actively dislike me - they passed it as barely acceptable, submitted it to publishers and agents, they all muttered dismissive shit like "this doesn't resonate with me" (id est it's not YA softcore porn about werewolves), considered putting it up for 99 cents on amazon.com, thought "fuck it, you filthy plebeians don't deserve my glittering prose" and left it there.
it's about two Subgenii (church of the subgenius, look it up) who travel with an alien to deliver drugs. but no! it's a trick, they're really doing something more subversive and dangerous, but if i tell you what you'll lose interest.
>>7541173 prose is basically a run on sentence with an "abstract" structure, and with "creativity" circumvent traditional poetry to make a big paragraph with literally no purpose other than to push out as many words as possible to say literally nothing in as many words as possible.
>>7541184 no, ive already lost interest. Anything that is parody is meaningless tripe. im sorry your lifeswork is a waste of time. dont feel bad. you arent alone(ellipses) you have my sympathies, for i too am another that has worked for naught, to achieve a greater sensibility that culminates to nothingness in the eyes of all that see.
i didnt even go to college. ive read less than 10 books in my lifetime. Im not /lit/ and i think im going to be an amazing writer? FUCK my life is worthless. hmm maybe i can write a book about that >irony beyond your capacity to contemplate bitch!
i honestly forgot what i was talking about. Im /lit/erally retarded.
>>7541209 "doing it well" is subjective. there is no "proper" way to write prose. If you could provide me an example of "bad prose" to compare with "good prose", i might take your opinion into consideration. i dont care where it comes from. validate your opinions.
>>7541219 great reply friend. you really proved me wrong. you just dont get it!
3000 words in. I think I've written like 10000 words total but for every 1000 words I write I only keep like 300 so going is rough. This also doesn't include plot notes and ideas which is like 30 pages on lined paper. One day I will finish.
that's what i thought. my novel isn't a parody. ihas two characters who are Subgenii, and it features a couple of standard Subgenius concepts, but it was written as a straight-up serious narrative. guy takes insane risks to help a female friend, she tricks him into a dangerous situation he'd never let her into, which is why she had to trick him... and then he has to suck it up because she becomes essentially god-like at the end.
this book has all the sales potential of half a dead dog.
>>7541241 >guy takes insane risks to help a female friend, she tricks him into a dangerous situation he'd never let her into, which is why she had to trick him... and then he has to suck it up because she becomes essentially god-like at the end.
Holy Fucking Shit my fears have become real and the cuckery is become life. somehow this image is related.
id still read it just to laugh.
anon, post it in pastebin. i will legit read it and give you a full review, instead of meeting my escort tonight, which i would be meeting for the first time and get blacklisted so i can never see her again. I would literally pay you if i found it to be interesting in even the slightest.
>>7541261 does pastebin accept 78,000 word-long text files?
also, i haven't decided to give it away for nothing just yet.
here's one of the fanservice bits:
... He could still sense their warmth and the Spree's spring-loaded precision, but whoever was behind him gave off no sensations at all other than the usual primate peripheral senses' there's somebody behind you alert. Even more machine than the Spree, it had to be Russ. With an effort he forced his attention away from the elf-girl and noticed that Russ had had a manicure - long, oval nails, dark burgundy nail-polish, smooth pale skin over the knuckles in contrast to the gnarled brown tree-roots on the rotting zombie monk...
Oh. This is going to be bad. He took a deep breath and turned around.
Russ' new remote-controlled toy looked like a serious businesswoman in her early thirties; short, red-blonde hair, stern expression behind designer framed glasses, dressed in the Conspiracy agent's dark grey midi-skirt suit, black mesh stockings and the jacket, which was buttoned over a pair of breasts just a little larger than that news-reader's had been. His shoulders slumped.
Russ cocked a grin at him. "Well?"
Was that a trace of a Dutch accent? Elif glared at her. "You really don't think very highly of me, do you?"
Russ sniffed. "I'm sure Tai will like it," pocketing the figurine and turning to leave. When Elif didn't follow she turned and looked back over her shoulder. "Come on. We have to go. The police are after us."
Elif ignored the implicit threat and looked pointedly at the girl. "She's coming with us, right?"
Russ pretended to consider this. "No. We can't afford to keep another primate on board. These," regarding the purple-haired elf girls with a hint of disdain, "are even less intelligent than your kind and are extremely high-maintenance. Mainly decorative. Besides, Tai isn't that much into guys, and neither are you."
He couldn't help it: he looked back at the girl. His Aetheric-enhanced new sense was good enough to tell she wasn't male; was Russ only lying, or testing him as well? Think quick, think quick... if Russ doesn't know I can tell and is trying to find out if I can tell that she's bullshitting, uh, you're taking too long, damn it, I need a diversion - wait, what did -
"Police? But we haven't done anything wrong yet!... have we? Aside from running Essence?", muttering to himself "God. Why am I making excuses for your behaviour?"
>>7541429 I don't sperg out about smug anime girls but if some little faggot starts going on about his gay little conventions in an attempt to insult me you can bet your ass I'm not just going to sit here and take it.
>>7544828 >>7544828 That RPO is a despicable farce created by a manchild whose success depends only on the prevalence of manchildren is an objective fact and if you do not recognize it I'm afraid that you are an imbecile. I could not read beyond two chapters as it felt like I had to trudge through the inner monologue of an angsty adolescent which if that was the intent of the author may be argued as being worthy of praise but because the grown man is beyond such notions as those of simplistic atheism as I recall them emphasized early in the book, I assume that it is the author' sinner monologue taking place in some trite fictional setting that adds to the intolerable character of the book. I will at least admit that what I read had a sobering effect as to acknowledge that this is what succeeds as a book is to lose hope in the masses whose demand for what is no more than a cringe inducing farce laden with prattle to be expected in a middle school class assures that what admirable literature emerges will remain obscure and likely perish in that manner.
>>7545110 >>7545127 Is this how an opinion is regarded? The one I responded to asked a question to which I felt compelled to provide an answer as I knew none of you would help him understand why he is simply wrong to consider the book as anything more than what I described. None of it is smart and if you see an attempt to appear as so, then it is because you are insecure in your own imbecility.
My copies of Herodotus, Egyptian mythology encyclopedia, mythical creatures encyclopedia and an unrelated graphic novel didn't come because Amazon fucked up when processing my debit card, so I'm going to have to give them a stern complaint. Might even have to go full Draco Malfoy on them if they try to screw me further by denying responsibility.
I'm still studying the Mabinogeon, my new Aztec mythology encyclopedia and haven't even looked at the Irish myth book my dad got me for Christmas.
I also have to practice my drawing, because my art sucks for a 24 year old.
In a couple of months, it will have been a year since I started thinking up my alternate-history fantasy Earth setting, and it's coming together pretty well.
Have a long way to go, but I'm gonna keep pushing.
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