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You are currently reading a thread in /lit/ - Literature

Thread replies: 90
Thread images: 29
https://iwl.me

Enter some of your writing and post the result here.

>I write like Arthur Clarke
>mfw
>>
>Dan Brown
I'll just go kill myself right now
>>
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>>7532700
>https://iwl.me
>I write like DFW
not even a joke familia
>>
>Palahniuk, Clarke, and Lovecraft

So, what's the best place to buy some strong rope?
>>
>you write like Chuck Palanakuk
>delete one sentence
>you write like James Joyce
>delete another
>you write like Neil Gaiman
>>
>copy-paste an excerpt from Molloy
>Edgar Allan Poe
>mfw
>>
>>Tolstoy
>>Kipling
>>Anne Rice
>>
J. R. R. Tolkien

I think this thing just goes off of word choice.
>>
>H. P. Lovecraft
That was very painful.
>>
>>7532782
>post an entire chapter from Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury
>James Joyce
This thing doesn't work
>>
>copy and paste 808 words of Nietzsche on master/slave morality
>Shakespeare
>mfw
>>
I wrote a short Christmas story in Elizabethan English.
Apparently that's what Chuck Palahniuk does, because that's who is says I write like.
This machine is broken.
>>
>copy paste james joyce wikipedia
After graduating from UCD in 1902, Joyce left for Paris to study medicine, but he soon abandoned this. Richard Ellmann suggests that this may have been because he found the technical lectures in French too difficult. Joyce had already failed to pass chemistry in English in Dublin. But Joyce claimed ill health as the problem and wrote home that he was unwell and complained about the cold weather .[13] He stayed on for a few months, appealing for finance his family could ill afford and reading late in the Bibliothèque Sainte-Geneviève. When his mother was diagnosed with cancer, his father sent a telegram which read, "NOTHER [sic] DYING COME HOME FATHER".[14] Joyce returned to Ireland. Fearing for her son's impiety, his mother tried unsuccessfully to get Joyce to make his confession and to take communion. She finally passed into a coma and died on 13 August, James and Stanislaus having refused to kneel with other members of the family praying at her bedside.[15] After her death he continued to drink heavily, and conditions at home grew quite appalling. He scraped a living reviewing books, teaching, and singing—he was an accomplished tenor, and won the bronze medal in the 1904 Feis Ceoil.[16][17]

On 7 January 1904 Joyce attempted to publish A Portrait of the Artist, an essay-story dealing with aesthetics, only to have it rejected by the free-thinking magazine Dana. He decided, on his twenty-second birthday, to revise the story into a novel he called Stephen Hero. It was a fictional rendering of Joyce's youth, but he eventually grew frustrated with its direction and abandoned this work. It was never published in this form, but years later, in Trieste, Joyce completely rewrote it as A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. The unfinished Stephen Hero was published after his death.[18]

>you write like Robert Louis Stevenson
>>
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>>7532700
Tried a few things. Got Jonathan Swift twice, Rudyard Kipling once.
I can live with that.
>>
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>>7532700
>George Orwell
Not only is he one of the authors I enjoyed reading the least, the essay I used was an argument against socialism.
>>
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>I gotta big fat peen and I want to be your daddy. I want be your daddy ugh hhhhhgn. Let daddy come and suck on your nipples. I want cream on your eyeballs and shit in your hair. Will you be my mommy. I want be your babby . Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I want to stick my fist inside your asshole and have your pee stream down my arms as I hold you like a leaky bucket over my head. I want to cut your nipples off and wear them over my eyes like a dead mexican. Let me suck on your prolapse and lick the shit off your poop tube, mommy. Baby wants to touch mommy. I want to bath with you in a bath of our pee. Let me rub my tongue over every part of your face, I want to eat your boogers mommy. I love you mommy. Let me be your daddy.

>I write like Stephen King


lol
>>
>bwegbbhobiofqeborhbgqejkjfvkfjgqkerjgnqekjvnkjvnporitykjjkbsdkjv wjfnkjdfnk sfjnblertnhwrtnhel rnoioifuoifgkjenrt qr oqeirjtqowijgoqeirt qkejgdbkj okjdfogjds ogo adn woejrgnwoethogeh wohwejgah r4potnkjfvn jeroghogijetwoiyh oerho qeirjoqwrjglj gndslfkjndsklfbnklfjbeugheirughqeioughklajdsfvlk jkjnkjwnflsjlkjdflgenhtntyyuiryjoio oi jo ijo ij oij o jo jo ihuhyguguygu ee rg egr eg eg erg we fert hf cb cvb dfsgsfg gs gs g er ty j ry jy jtyjryjr rth et hergsdvs dg er g ety trgf sdf gsghdrd g gw e ty r wheg qe g et rwkhjnetkjngergf iweroerigfk jnekljgkljgkguitthgskdfg kejrgnklewjgnkj kjlkjlkjlk lkjlkj l kji uhu uhuhgqwefoioi uewrgfosivh kjrkjefvn rgeoghdkKJDKG. jhqohoerihgeoig. ijfoiqejrogiewrgioj h hu hwowh o owihgrw. kj ehgoidafgsjgqwee. kj ofjgds0 h oergheugh k gewgjsfgad.r elrgelrgjlkj lkregasg.

James Joyce

>+Mississippi river.

Mark Twain
>>
That retarded website is always good for a laugh, let's paste some Finnegans Wake shall we?

>Professor Loewy-Brueller (though as I shall promptly prove his whole account of the Sennacherib as distinct from the Shalmanesir Sanitational reforms and of the Mr. Skekels and Dr. Hydes problem in the same connection differs toto coelo from the fruit of my own investigations – though the reason I went to Jericho must remain for certain reasons a political secret – especially as I shall shortly be wanted in Cavantry, I congratulate myself, for the same and other reasons – as being again hopelessly vitiated by what I have now resolved to call the dime and cash diamond fallacy) in his talked off confession which recently met with such a leonine uproar on its escape after its confinement Why am I not born like a Gentileman and why am I now so speakable about my own eatables (Feigenbaumblatt and Father, Judapest, 5688, A.M.) whole-heartedly takes off his gabbercoat and wig, honest draughty fellow, in his public interest, to make us see how though, as he says: ‘by Allswill’ the inception and the descent and the endswell of Man is temporarily wrapped in obscenity, looking through at these accidents with the faroscope of television, (this nightlife instrument needs still some subtractional betterment in the readjustment of the more refrangible angles to the squeals of his hypothesis on the outer tin sides), I can easily believe heartily in my own most spacious immensity as my ownhouse and microbemost cosm when I am reassured by ratio that the cube of my volumes is to the surfaces of their subjects as the, sphericity of these globes (I am very pressing for a parliamentary motion this term which, under my guidance, would establish the deleteriousness of decorousness in the morbidisation of the modern mandaboutwoman type) is to the feracity of Fairynelly’s vacuum.

I write like:
>Edgar Alan Poe

yeah
>>
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Guess who.
>>
>>7533227
Donald Barthelme
>>
>>7533238
Infinitely well meme'd.

David Fooking Foster Spooky Wallace
>>
>>7532700
>dan brown

Why
>>
>>7532700
>Margaret Atwood
this is the greatest insult of my life
>>
>>7532700
>bitches aint shit but hos and tricks

my sides
>>
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Tried it 3 times

>James Fenimore Cooper
>Jack London
>Arthur Conan Doyle

I'm okay with this.
>>
Pasted first page of a short story I wrote recently.

>James Joyce

Felt good even if the algorithm doesn't work worth a shit. It could have easily given me a crummy author, but it gave me /Joyce./
>>
Posted a stanza from Coleridge.
It said I write like H.P. Lovecraft.
>>
Mary Shelley

10/10, least accurate analysis ever
>>
Stones rattle my bedroom window as I was there laying silently. I arose and peered out the window to see Hitler standing in the moonlight. Hitler came to me at night fearful of his father's belt and needed the comfort of his dear friend, me. I opened my window and waved him up. A few moments had past as he slowly crept his way up to my room, trying not to make a creek for my family would be upset. He reached out my hand like he has done so many times to I and I pulled him into the comfort of my room. We sit at the edge of my bed, the cool Austrian are seeping through my opened window. He was distressed, upset. I laid my hand upon has far shoulder and pulled him into my embrace, he wept, and tightened his arms around me. He sniffled as he lifted his head up from my embrace and peered into my eyes. I place my right hand across his cheek and clutch hes testicles with my left. He closed his eyes as he lifted his head in satisfaction as he let out a faint "ja." He slowly opened his eyes and lean in with his lips puckered. We met half way, our lips sealed with passion, his faint pubescent upper lip patch of hair gently tickling my skin. I begin to clutch harder on his testicles, "JA" he moans of passion. I lean forward, pushing his body onto my bed. We slowly begin to undress, beginning this new life together. He stops me from unbuttoning my shirt, he motions to do it himself. The top button then the second. He stops when a flicker of light from chest fills the room of light, "vhat ish dish?" He asks me...It is my Star of David Hitler. I lean in for a kiss as Hitler stares at me. I feel a tug of my hair, Hitler rises up over me and throws me face first into my pillows. I turn to see only the shadow of Hitler standing in front of my bed room window. "Hitler" I cry to him as he slowly walks away; "Hitler" I cry to him as he climbs down my home; "Hitler" I cry to him as he runs away, back to his home.

I posted this copypasta and it says im Kurt Vonnegut kekd
>>
>Cory Doctorow
???
What.
>>
>>7532728
relax. everybody gets DFW.
that and Lovecraft.
>>
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Call me a pleb but I've never read any of his works.

but I'm fine, r-right?
>>
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>Charles Dickens
>>
William Gibson, whoever he is.
>>
Apparently Hilter writes like Lovecraft.
>>
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The Jews and their lies are thoroughly disgusting.
We need to lynch these niggers. Fuck the spics, build wall now.

>James Joyce
>>
>>7534150
Well what did you expect from someone with a cat named Nigger
>>
Shrunken gimmick Ignatius overdraft heading. Ignored the best thing to do at the moment. What could happen in the future please? Following the movement as well as the first time in my opinion is that you have received the email address or unsubscribe link below and attached the invoice for this position please reply to this message is strictly prohibited by law from disclosure under applicable law sender immediately by telephone at least one person at your convenience and I will be in the morning to see the comment on this one and the kids are doing great things about you and your mom and dad are coming to the next week or two and three years ago I am going to have the opportunity for a long way to get a good idea for you to know that you are hereby advised that any dissemination or copying of this communication is confidential and may contain privileged information for the use of this message in error please contact the sender immediately by telephone or by telephone or by telephone at the end of the individual named addressee or authorized representative independent of the intended solely those who have been sent to me know if there are any other questions please feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me with any other information contained herein is strictly forbidden as is the best way to get a chance to look at the end of the intended only for the use of the individual named above if you want to be a good person who posted a link below or copy this email and destroy all electronic message transmission contains privileged information or opinions expressed are solely responsible and reliable however the accuracy or completeness unless expressly gegen diese verfickten Schaffner wurden nochmal die von der zu und die ist hasta mañana ya otros en unión y saludos desde de filtro una más manera lo que schizoid madman would like the idea of the individual or something.

>R. L. Stine
>>
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>>7532720
Me too senpai.
>>
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>Mario Puzo
>>
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....

............

.......................

I'm not even mad.
>>
>>7534494
You can't be mad at Trump, It's impossible.

>Builds a $300M residential tower for literally no reason other than to say fuck you to the HQ of the UN
>>
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>>7534527
>>
Holy shit, got Vladimir Nabokov, and after reading Ada, or Ardor, it got me on to wild prose, in terms of influence for my writing.
>>
Poe times three.
>>
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Don't see anybody else that got this.
Never read gone with the wind though.
Is it any good?
>>
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I'm a scattered mess. Criticism acknowledged, iwl.
>>
>>7534665
As far as popular fiction goes, I thought it was pretty great. It definitely helps to appreciate Lost Cause nostalgia, though.
>>
STOP POSTING THIS FUCKING STUPID WEBSITE GODDAMMIT
IT DOESN'T CONDUCT SOME SOPHISTICATED STYLE ANALYSIS; IT'S LITERALLY BASED ON WORD FREQUENCY
>>
>Steven King

Is this good or bad
>>
>>7534089
same here
>>
Feels good man
>>
Says I write like shit
>>
Mary Shelley. Fuck yeah I guess, time to find me a cute poet and fuck him on my mother's grave.
>>
I have a stinky little dooky mouth for poopy times when the Christmas day shines like a raincloud over my personal holocaust. Butt fuck be into oblivion my valiant crusader and we shall have no hard times to have hard with.

>James Joyce

^__^
>>
>>7533160
Jesus fucking Christ
>>
>>7532700
I write like Chuck Palahniuk...
>>
>>7532700

http://iwl.me/s/31398c21
Cory Doctorow apparently. I hadn't even heard of him. Is he any good?
>>
>>7537587
>Is he any good?
>>
>You Write Like L. Frank Baum
strange, I pasted something with graphic gay sex I had written
>>
Raymond Chandler. R8 me senpai.
>>
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Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger NiggerNigger Nigger Nigger
>I write like
Mark Twain
>>
>navy seal pasta
>you write like Cory Doctorow
>>
Sample: well then WHY is it/HOW come the 'actor' 3/6 9 (actors) portrayed in this particular film are essentially performing FOR and Bowing the FUCK DOWN IE "dancing to the critical TUNE/beat of 'the critic' 3/6??? You say the 'actor/artist PUPPET/SLAVE 'performer' is the 'TRUTH?!?! Let me crystal clarify for YOU what is 'absolute' and that IS the CRITIC who HAS been through more of all/anything re: REAL in this FAKE "lab-rat experiment of Bizarro-World" to the point/position that he/she takes on a "all-knowing approach/stance to L-I-F-E" THAT is REAL and the 'actor/puppet court-Jester CLOWN (includes all musicians/athletes as well) looking to IMPRESS the 'critic' are FUNNY/comical and COMEDIC "to ME" Good talk, Have a Nice Day, see you out there...
>>
“I… uh… don’t know if I can...”
“Nah, take your time, there’s no rush if you don’t want to.” Now he was really feeling the smoke, Alex was well and truly stoned.
He said something right, Jeff gave a gulp and tugged at Alex’s boxers until his cock flopped out. It was slightly above average length and slightly above average girth, and from that distance it didn’t look too big to handle. With his left hand he took the bull’s cock and began to stroke it. It grew slightly harder in his grip and he rubbed the underside of the tip as he pulled the foreskin back to expose the pink shiny head.
“Ah, loose that kung-fu grip dude.”
He gasped in embarrassment and loosened his grip. He leaned in closer, but the closer he got the larger and larger it seemed to grow. Mere inches from his face it seemed too much to handle and a knot grew in his stomach. But Alex gasped soon as the bunny’s cold tongue gave a tentative lap at his shaft. He licked like he was pecking at it. But the more he licked the stronger his confidence became and the longer and slower and warmer each lick was. He came to the tip one last time, took a drop of pre on his tongue and tugged at his foreskin with his lips before taking the head in his mouth for one tentative suckle.
“Careful with them teeth, bunnyboy.”
>You Write Like Anne Rice
>>
It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes
It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes
Guillotine - yah

Sit in the dark and ponder how I'm fit to make the bottom fall through the floor
And they all fall down - yah

It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes...
Guillotine - yah

Out of the shadows barrage of witch tongue
Cobra spit over apocalyptic cult killer cauldron smoke
Stomp music seriously - yah

It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes...
Guillotine - yah

Can't stop the groove lics jaws clear off them locks relentless raw movement
Fit to knock you from here to that g-spot body rock connected

To everything you want, ever did want
We got it why not come get it, stick your head in that hole
And watch me drop this cold guillotine death sentence - yah

It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes...
Guillotine - yah

Hidden art, between and beneath, every fragmented, figure of speech,
Tongue in reverse, whenever the beat, causes my jaws to call
Out out out out - yah

The screens flashing red, can't see shit but heads
Spinning exorcist like planets
Out of orbit off the edge
Off mine axis whipping through doors to far more than all that’s ever been said - yah

Tie the chord kick the chair and your dead - yah

Yah ... guillotine - yah ... guillotine - yah

Head of a trick in a bucket
Body of a trick in a bag
And thrown in the fire like fuck it
Gotta burn it before it goes bad
One too many times been disgusted
By the stench of rot is such a drag - yah

Get broke by the street like blood stained glass - yah
Choke on these nuts til the very last - yah

It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes...
Guillotine - yah

Serial number, killing machine
The illest of means,
To an end built on the filthy sound
you're experiencing - yah

It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes...
Guillotine - yah

Tinted windows, bulletproof
The slip knot fixin rope to noose
To the grave stone grinder of cold steel

The passion that blinds me so I feel - YAH

Can't let go, no it flows through our veins
Blows through our tunnels and rattles our chains
And they all fall down - yah
>Charles Dickens
My sides.
>>
>>7534143
Haha same. Same thought too.
Who the hell is William Gibson? Looked him up; some kind of Sci-fi, cyber-punk, punk.
>>
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>Mario Puzo

Are you fucking kidding me.

Every fucking time I enter some of my work on to that piece of shit website, I get Mario fucking Puzo.

Who the fuck is Mario Puzo anyway? I bet his fucking writing isn't even as good as mine, the fucking spic.
>>
>REMOVE KEBAB remove kebab
you are worst turk. you are the turk idiot you are the turk smell. return to croatioa. to our croatia cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,bosnia we will never forgeve you. cetnik rascal FUck but fuck asshole turk stink bosnia sqhipere shqipare..turk genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead turk..ahahahahahBOSNIA WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget ww2 .albiania we kill the king , albania return to your precious mongolia….hahahahaha idiot turk and bosnian smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. russia+usa+croatia+slovak=kill bosnia…you will ww2/ tupac alive in serbia, tupac making album of serbia . fast rap tupac serbia. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of tupac… you are ppoor stink turk… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt
tupac alive numbr one #1 in serbia ….fuck the croatia ,..FUCKk ashol turks no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. 2pac aliv and real strong wizard kill all the turk farm aminal with rap magic now we the serba rule .ape of the zoo presidant georg bush fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and bosnia wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. serbia greattst countrey
>Mary Shelly
>>
>I write like Kurt Vonnegut.
Wowee.
>>
>Mary Shelley
>Mario Puzo
I do not understand.
>>
>>7538218
The Godfather senpai
>>
>>7532700
I got Arthur Clarke too, senpai.
Don't know whether that's good or bad, desu.
>>
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>>7532700
>L. Frank Baum

??
>>
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>peanus weenus copypasta
>William Shakespeare
>>
>Kipling
idk about that but the jungle book is pretty sweet
>>
Pasted some half-assed poetry
>Dan Brown x2
>Edgar Allen Poe
>Leo Tolstoy
>Ray Bradbury
>Who the fuck is Cory Doctorow
>>
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>put in the Naruto fan fiction I'm working on
>you write like Stephen King!
>>
>>7537607
Fair enough.
>>
>>7533160

Boogers has to be the most childish word in the English language, yet it still makes me giggle when I read it.
>>
I got David Foster Wallace 3 times in a row, new to /lit/ and no idea who he is besides that he is a meme

how fucked am I?
>>
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>>7532700

>H.P. Lovecraft

I'm okay with this.
>>
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>Gertrude Stein

I don't believe I've ever ready anything of hers. I guess I'll have to.
>>
>put writing in Spanish
>Raymond Chandler

I'm wat
>>
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>mfw DFW
Odd, I've never read the guy's stuff.

At least it's not Emily Dickinson. The only time I ever wanted to kill was when my English Professor gave me an A on a poem and compared it to fucking Emily Dickinson.
>>
>>7540039
>Dickinson
>Dick in son

hehe
>>
who /shakespeare/ here?
>tfw writing is still probably shit
>>
>take a /pol/ rant
>use it instead of writing sample
one particular racist rant got Cory Doctorow oddly enough...
>>
>>7540035
>Put writing in french


>Lorsque plusieurs femmes vivent ensemble, il y a synchronisation des règles ou « effet McClintock », qui serait dû à l'émission par les glandes axillaires de substances volatiles[réf. nécessaire]. L'action éventuelle des phéromones dans l'espèce humaine fait l'objet de controverses, puisque l'organe voméronasal n'existe pas chez l'adulte. Toutefois, chez la souris, certaines phéromones peuvent activer des récepteurs présents dans l'épithélium olfactif.

>Certains moyens de contraception permettent à la femme de décider d'être menstruée ou non : d'après certains, il ne serait pas dangereux de se passer de règles[réf. nécessaire]. Cependant, l'industrie pharmaceutique finançant de nombreuses recherches, il faut rester conscient du risque d'informations erronées même si ces dernières sont transmises par des médecins. Par ailleurs, les pilules sont des médicaments fabriqués et vendus par cette même industrie pharmaceutique. Pour ne pas avoir ses règles, la femme pourra, si elle le souhaite, choisir un moyen de contraception adéquat : pilule combinée prise sans interruption, pilule progestative prise en continu, DIU hormonal.

>Jadis du fait des nombreuses grossesses ou de la longue durée de l'allaitement, les femmes étaient rarement réglées. Nous sommes passées en deux siècles de trente cycles par vie à plus de quatre cent cinquante voire six cents en cas de traitement de ménopause[réf. nécessaire].

>Globalement il existe une corrélation entre le nombre de cycles au cours d'une vie et le risque de cancer du sein 2.

>L'impact du nombre de cycles sur le risque de cancer du sein est d'autant plus élevé que ces cycles « supplémentaires » se produisent tôt, du fait d'une charge hormonale des cycles qui diminue avec l’âge. Ainsi pour chaque année supplémentaire par rapport à une moyenne, le risque de cancer du sein augmente de 5% lorsque ces cycles se situent à la puberté, et de 3 % lorsqu'ils se situent vers la période de ménopause3. En d’autres mots, le risque de cancer du sein augmente quand on est pubère tôt et ménopausée tard4.

>Nabokov
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