What do I do /lgbt/ if I'm madly in love with a man who enjoys a polyamorous lifestyle and agrees to be with me but refuses to give up that lifestyle?
I'm monogamous and am not a big fan of polyamoroy. He classifies as gay but likes sleeping with multiple dudes and occasionally a woman on the rare blue moon.
I personally am not a fan of the idea but want to be with him, I feel though that being with him might be torture though, what should I do /lgbt/?
you can't force someone to be monogamous, and you shouldn't compromise what you want out of a relationship for someone else
if you can't accept who he is in that way you need to move on and find someone more compatible with you
There's this guy I know, named Blake.
He put's his loving boyfriend/side piece through this everyday. Kind of sad, desu. The kid just wants a functioning and happy relationship and Blake just likes to fuck around with everyone he can.
My ex and I had these rules:
-if there's danger of cheating, it's better to share.
We never brought someone else to our room (he broke rule 1 at one point anyways), but maybe it's something you can think about if you still want to be with him: if he wants to have sex with other dudes, you'll have to be there having sex with them too.
don't do it! it'll always bother you and nothing will ever come of something where there's just original tension like that. unless, of course, you see yourself ever being okay with that (which i doubt).
or, if you're young and reckless, ride the wave and see where it takes you!
"Polyamory" is code word who "I'm a big fucking slut who needs to sleep around constantly so bad I can't commit to anything remotely healthy or stable".
Don't listen to tumblr fucktards, that shit isn't by any means healthy. Get the fuck out of that. If he can't become monogamous it's because fucking around is more important than you.
Move on, now. For your own sake. Don't keep falling in love with someone who is only in love with pleasure - and himself.
Careful, that's how you catch the r9k disease.
Brief angst over the shallowness of people around you slowly morphs into a license to self aggrandize
At the end, you are left alone, the shallowest of them all.
Do you feel content knowing that your bf has memories of previous encounters while you are fucking? Do you feel content knowing that he has had sex with someone else whom he perhaps loved as much as he loves you? When someone is capable of intimacy with multiple people sex stops being special. Sex is only special when it is shared with your significant other, when you have sex with multiple people it loses all meaning and becomes simply an act of pleasure instead of a bonding experience. If someone has had sex with someone else before you it shows that he is either a lustful slut or that his love means nothing as he is capable of loving multiple people.
So you can never be content with a guy who's heart was broken by the loss of a man he loved, and who found you while searching for new love, because they previously had sex? And even if he loves you just as much, if not even more than the one he lost, you are still going to think of him like that?
Selfish pricks like you are insufferable
I have nothing against such people but I am not risking it. I am not giving myself to anyone unless I am 100% sure that I will be with him for life.
>searching for new love
This is the problem. Love is supposed to be one, you are not supposed to be searching for "new love". It is not my problem that he was too foolish and trusted someone who was a piece of shit.
>And even if he loves you just as much, if not even more than the one he lost
I expect to be loved above all since I will give the same treatment. I cannot bear the thought of him thinking nostalgically about his ex when I devote my life to him entirely. And what guarantees that he wont forgive his ex if he returns?
Yes, the difference is that you are living a life of lust. There is a difference between love and lust but you are obviously confused. This cancerous behavior has consumed the entire modern world unfortunately, and especially the gay community with the open relationship and polyamory bullshit.
This is a retarded meme, no polyamorous relationship is commited. You cannot convince me to accept your disgusting perversion of morality and no leftist rhetoric is going to change that.
I do not even want to debate you at this point, I am tired of talking to subhuman animals like yourself. Keep your disgusting opinions and shove them up your ass. I think all polyamorous faggots should be gassed.
Finally a true monogamist. The only thing I would argue is that in the beginning stages of a romance, it's nearly impossible to know whether or not you'll be with someone for the rest of your life.
I do feel the same way though that sex is very intimate, bonding experience. I absolutely could never dabble in promiscuity.
>Do you feel content knowing that your bf has memories of previous encounters while you are fucking?
They could have only had sex with you and still think about someone else while you are fucking.
True love doesn't exist. Everyone will get bored of you and start fantasizing about being with someone else. The only true love is the one you have to yourself and if you love yourself you don't need anyone else.
>The only true love is the one you have to yourself and if you love yourself you don't need anyone else.
And they say Christians are bad. Christians at least pretend to love their neighbors, you outright reject all human love in favor of self worship.
We all shared these ideals when we were 16, didn't we? Then lust took over and the subhuman apes who plague this board went through all sorts of mental gymnastics to morally justify their lives of hedonism and depravity, yourself included. Of course those who disagree must be 16, after all you have been taught that hedonism is the true way to live for every "healthy" adult in the modern world. It would be foolish for anyone above the age of 16 not to give in to a life of lust and believe in the "false" ideals of love and commitment.
You did not counter any of my points. I already stated that I am not planning to have sex until I find someone I want to spend my life with. How would this change my perception? What is your point?
The first time one experiences sex is always very emotional and intimate, but you become emotionally detached from it the more you fuck and the more partners you have. Soon hooking up is not that big of a deal, neither is having an open relationship. It is like pissing in someone else's toilet. Cheating on your partner means nothing, it is just sex after all.
This is what happens when you detach sex from feelings.
>For some of us sex is a deeply intimate and bonding experience
That's what most people who have had never sex think, because they idealize it.
Trust me. I've been in a monogamous relationship for four years. We've only had sex with each other ever. We must have done it hundreds of times. Yes, many of those were deeply intimate bonding experiences, but many others were just us being horny and wanting to get off.
If you expect sex to be such an important thing every single time, you'll end up being dissapointed. After you've had it many times, even with one single person with whom you are in love it, you get some perspective and realize it can sometimes be something mundane, and that there's nothing wrong with that.
You are correct. I do not expect sex to be intimate every single time and there are bound to be times when I am just horny.
The reason I'd like to be with a virgin is that a non virgin has either had sex as part of a loving relationship with someone else or to get his rocks off.
If he was in a loving relationship with someone else then post related >>5710599
If he just wanted to get his rocks off then he is emotionally detached from sex so I cannot trust him to remain faithful.
>If he was in a loving relationship with someone else then post related
Well, You are entitled to your opinion.
To me, the truth is that no one gets into a relationship expecting it to fail, and no one gets (seriously) in a new one if they still think nostalgically about their exes (unless maybe if said ex died).
Sometimes people look for love, find it, and then it doesn't work because there are literally thousands of reasons why it can't work. Personally, I don't see how a failed relationship can put the validity of the following ones into question, provided the reason why it didn't work wasn't because he was unable to stay commited or he was unfaithful, etc.
But you have the right to be with whoever you want. So, good luck finding the right man for you. I'm just telling you this because one never knows what is going to happen, and you might find yourself breaking up with the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with. I hope that never happens, but if it does, I hope you won't feel like you don't deserve love ever again.
>>5711153 I appreciate your concern anon. I am extremely careful with my choices it will most likely not happen, hopefully. It is indeed true that I could never forgive myself if it did. May you and your husband have a good life together.
> I am not giving myself to anyone unless I am 100% sure that I will be with him for life.
I'm not saying it's not a noble goal but there is no way that you will ever have that kind of certainty for anything except death.