I have an issue.
I love cock. I love men. I love their chests, I love their smell, I love the musk. I especially love cock. I could sit in a room and gorge on cock.
But none of it actually arouses me IRL. I get soft, I get bored, I wish I had a woman.
What the fuck? I am aroused pansexually, I find great arousal in both trans and homosexual men, and most nights I wish I could have a dick. But when it becomes reality...there's nothing.
Please explain this for me. It's very frustrating.
seems like you're either just attracted to being emasculated or you have enough internalized homophobia to overcome your attraction.
what i'm saying is that you should probably start blocking your testosterone now before it's too late.
The former is likely true and has informed many of my hetero relationships. But the latter is inaccurate. I'm a humanist as heart, and always look upon people as a blank slate free from bias except the cruel actions they're involved in.
The homosexual relations I've been involved in were always with people I found adoration in. I liked them, very much! But even in random hookups with people i would cum to completion to I felt..nothing.
I definitely am attracted to being made a bitch, this is true enough, but as a sexual switch I wonder if it's really that specific. When I see a man I want to top, mentally, I want to fuck him until the world ends. But when it comes to perform reality /=/ fantasy. So it's very frustrating.
I don't think it's homophobia, nor a testosterone problem. My libido is fine, as is [I think] my subconcious opinion.
Haha, I know, but testosterone has larger implications than changing one's gender anyways. I felt it important to note that my physical sexuality was fine.
Also, 4chan, I know what and who you are. I've been a consistent visitor since 2007. But know two things
1) You are my port of first call due to both anonymity and impulsiveness. This is something I WANT TO FIGURE OUT but haven't quite boiled down to a solid, approachable idea.
2) Yes, this is 4chan, and the idea of anonymity works against me in favour of silly replies. I understand and respect that. But know at the same time that this is a rather bothersome issue.
I will eventually be taking this up with others to find out, actual psychological help, but experience with such is appreciated.
look the odds are that you have a problem actualizing a sexual role, be it due to repulsion from homophobia, intimidation, discomfort, body image issues, fear, etc.
my suggestion to you is to find someone caring that you can ease into sex with.
That's.. very likely to be helpful. But what I always find odd is, I prefer to top with women, bottom with men. But yet I have these very invasive and often ill-advised sexual fantasies involving topping men.
Is it better to just..ignore these fantasies until I am in a proper relationship with a man as you suggest? Not a bad idea, at all, btw.
well you could tell a guy on grindr that you're apprehensive about sex and i'm sure you could find someone who knows limits, but you stand a good chance of getting raped in that scenario,
just go steady with a guy, you seem articulate and composed enough to find someone respectable. just make sure there aren't any STDs and you're not fucking on the first 2 dates.
why is topping guys "ill-advised"?
Oh, right the query. I find such sexually inviting but not altogether sexuallity interesting. To my dick. If that makes sense. No habla dickspanol.
ill-advised because I come into a situation where my mind promised the world to my body, but then my body encounters the reality and is like "nah, fuck this". Hence the frustration.
In my fantasies, my biggest fantasies, I'm being fucked as a woman. So honestly, that is quite an interesting concept to me, and likely accurate. Hmm.
I won't transition. No offense meant to anyone, and I mean that honestly as I can, but I am very happy as a man, but God...that is a fantasty and want nonetheless.
More than once yes, and it's not mental. i'll be with men I find very..mentally attractive. The curves I want, the smoothness I want, the overall sense I desire, the cock I want to be with, but there's nothing in my body that compels me to arousal. I am completely for them. Submissive, I suppose, in the sense that I would do anything for their pleasure.
I am well versed in the BDSM scene, have been so for five years, so I do wonder if I truly am a bottom to males. Bottom from the top, as they say, because the best tops do things for their bottoms anyways.
It's complicated? My libido is a jerk.
you don't want to lead a guy on only to suddenly stop being sexually attracted to him.
>but there's nothing in my body that compels me to arousal
you have a submission fantasy but you don't enjoy men. it's not unheard of.
OP here, heading out for a bit. Peckish for pizza in -20C weather. Don't ask.
I'll be back and do appreciate any responses/links to other sites to find out more.
Perhaps. In the end I do enjoy women more. Both physically and mentally. Is this something that can only be enjoyed in swinging then? One-off daliances? Every odd day I find myself fantasizing about cock, top and bottoming...but the issue I haven't raised is I don't enjoy being anally fucked.
I enjoy physically: Worshipping their body. Top to bottom.
I enjoy mentally: Fucking them, topping and making them my bottom, as I prefer to do women.
I should have mentioned that. While I am a switch with women as well, I much prefer a relationship in which I can...bite back, so to speak, and ruthlessly...engage my desires. So to speak.
Anyways, pizza. Thank you for the responses. This has been illuminating. It's odd. I live in Toronto, possibility the second gay capital of North America, but I feel terrified to bring this up.
You're bi. Pansexuality is a meme orientation.
Agree and disagree. Agree on the basis of well, it's fucking logical, I enjoy both women and men, and said subcurrents apply to both. Thus pan means bi.
Disagree on the basis of it being a widely recognized identity adjective, and thus salable and usable.
OP here. I had my pizza. I'm still rustled. But much more willing to accept that I prefer to bottom for men. Though I still want to top trans men, I figure that's just my very strong heterosexuality shining through.
idk. Fucking libido is complex.